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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4743 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Botched court doc outs Google as respondent in national security flap

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Can I just say....

... Oh ████!

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Guardian teams up with New York Times for future Snowden GCHQ coverage

Graham Marsden
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Happy

The thick...

... plottens!

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Nasty BOFHses. It burns us! It burns...

Graham Marsden
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@Ragarath - Re: The Smell!

Surprisingly not.

A market I sell at used to be in a basement venue, the toilets of which emptied into a large tank that then pumped the effluent into the sewers. Unfortunately the day before the market the piping broke and the venue ended up ankle deep in....

They brought in a specialist cleaning company and by the next day you wouldn't even have known there was a problem except for the fact that the concrete floors were the cleanest they'd ever been!

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Kim Kardashian's bosom pal in bling snatch Instagram unpleasantness

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Re: "money can't buy you taste..."

... it can't buy you sense either!

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Hacktivists boast of English Defence League KO after website downed

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

@moiety

Unfortunately, unlike BDSM, you don't get the chance to say "No" and have your choice respected.

There again, the EDL also seem to be of the mindset that "You're free to say or do anything you want, provided we agree with it..."http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/unhappy_32.png

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@AC - Re: Yeah, just because you disagree with someone..

"They are not welcome online, that's all."

Unlike all those nasty pornographic sites that the Government wants to block by default...?

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Four ways the Guardian could have protected Snowden – by THE NSA

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"he may have been stopped even if he was carrying nothing but his phone"

I don't doubt he would. It seems this was as much about intimidation as a fishing expedition.

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Microsoft fights Google for kids' attention with ad-free Bing for Schools

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

"the automatic blocking of pornography"

That sounds like a challenge...

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Oh noes! New 'CRISIS DISASTER' at Fukushima! Oh wait, it's nothing. Again

Graham Marsden
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@AC Re: At the risk of...

" it's easy to say "No concerns!" when you're not the one living there."

Meanwhile, thousands of people keep dying in road accidents or from lung cancer due to smoking or liver failure due to alcohol or...

... but they don't make for headlines which boost viewing/ reading figures.

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Fame-hating planets don't need to hang around STARS – boffins

Graham Marsden
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Re: Don't really understand why this is surprising

That's exactly what I was thinking.

What is the difference between Jupiter and a Brown Dwarf? It's only the size of the original cloud of matter which would restrict the formation of a sun.

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Bradley Manning sentenced to 35 years in prison

Graham Marsden
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Alert

@mad_dr - Re: What will the American people do?

"what would you expect them to do if they DO strongly disagree with the sentence? Gather in a public place and wave placards in the air?"

Don't you know? This is what so many of them want to have guns for, to "protect" themselves from a government that can't be trusted!

(I'm not quite sure *when* they plan on starting the second American Civil War, but I'm sure it will be soon...)

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100 MEEELION self-driving cars will be sold globally in 2035 – report

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@jonathanb - Re: Flying cars?

"If I'm able to have the car drop me off, and then send it away to a car park, or back home; and summon it back to me when I want to go home myself, then I will definitely buy one."

Which still means that for a huge amount of time, the car will not be doing anything apart from taking up space.

The sensible and efficient model would be a self-driving taxi that you hire to get you to where you want to go and then which can go and be used by someone else meaning less vehicles on the roads, less traffic and less congestion, not to mention less fuel being burned.

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Comcast court docs show Prenda copyright trolls seeded smut then sued

Graham Marsden
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@Cliff - Re: Fascinating case, more on popehat

"Hard to believe pornographers would be so sleazy."

It's not pornographers, it's lawyers, the people who will not only screw you, but then sue you for allowing yourself to be screwed!

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Snowden journalist's partner gave Brit spooks passwords to seized files

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

Re: "Legally and procedurally sound"

"Then it seems that we need to change the laws and procedures"

Which will do damn all good because the Government will simply retro-actively change any bloody laws they like to make sure they're not in the wrong!

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British spooks seize tech from Snowden journo's boyfriend at airport

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"The chances are, however, that terrorism legislation was used simply because..."

... it was convenient and let them do pretty much whatever the hell they liked without having to worry about allowing him legal representation or any other semblence of proper process...

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Kiwi jetpack gets all-clear for manned tests

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@jake - Re: Do not want.

I bet you would have said the same to Wilbur and Orville...

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Facebook's flush Sheryl Sandberg savaged over UNPAID intern advert

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@rcorrect

"As a college graduate with a blank resume"... your chances of actually *getting* that job are about the same as the proverbial snowball in hell.

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Destroy All Monsters - Re: Retarded. Where is the problem, again?

" If you are unskilled, working unpaid *can* be a plus."

Unskilled? RTFA:

"editorial and social chops and able to commit to a regular schedule through end of year. Design and web skills a plus!"

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Apple erects measures to stop app-happy kids splurging parents' dosh

Graham Marsden
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@Buzzword - Re: They do it on purpose

A very interesting (if depressing) read.

Another example might be the way that, now that EA Games has taken over the Gamehouse Scrabble Game on Facebook, you no longer get the "Number of tiles left in the bag" feature for free, so if you're getting to the end of the game you can't (easily) figure out what tiles your opponent may have, instead you have to pay "just" £9.99 to buy the feature.

(Although there's already an add on for Chrome written by game fans which does this for free!)

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NSA coughs to 1000s of unlawful acts of snooping on US soil since 2008

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"Most were accidental mishaps"

Oh, well *that's* ok then.

It's not as if they were doing it deliberately...

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Brits: We can STOP TROLLS if we know where they LIVE - poll

Graham Marsden
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@Rikkey - Re: Overcrowded housing

So do you live just around the corner from number 22 Acacia Avenue (home of Charlotte T Harlot)? ;-)

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Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Right...

.... and this is *really* going to stop someone from using fake registration details unless they're also going to require you to provide credit card details and a copy of your passport and a DNA sample and...

... oh, hang on, *NOW* I see where this is going...

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Bitcoin laws are coming: US Senate launches virty currency probe

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Cliff - Re: Currencies need...

> bitcoins are valuable to number collectors, they have no real tangible value of course

You mean unlike other currencies?

> bitcoins are not stable

You mean unlike other currencies?

> being purely fiat they are built on trust alone

You mean unlike other currencies?

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Rate-my-boink app scores frisky fanbois, fangurlz' SCREAMS, VIBRATIONS

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Hmm...

... I can envision some professional ladies introducing a new version of "Pay per Bonk"...

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NORKS prepping glorious People's Smartmobe

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"while strictly guaranteeing security"

"Yes, we guarantee that when our Security Services monitor your calls, we won't give out that information to just anyone...!"

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Facebook's request to the flash industry: 'Make the worst flash possible'

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"Write-once, read-never"

But think of all the thousands of pictures of teh kitties!!!

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Tech war latest: Today's leather tools 'invented by NEANDERTHALS'

Graham Marsden
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Coat

And I was expecting...

... a Neanderthal set of 6-way Revolving Punch Pliers...

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Violent Hamlet 'bard' by British Library Wi-Fi filters

Graham Marsden
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@frank ly - Re: @Pete 3 Excellent re. Titus Andronicus

"I believe that sort of fiction is now illegal in the UK, or is it just pictorial representation (for the moment)?"

It was the Tory Baroness O'Cathain who actually *did* propose a "Dangerous Writings Act" to go along with the "Dangerous Pictures Act" which would have criminalised anything written that would have been classed as "Extreme Pornography"!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/07/06/dangerous_writings_endangered/

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Graham Marsden
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Black Helicopters

@Big Yin - Re: Why didn't he plug into ...

"The filtering happens at the network level."

But that *can't* go wrong. After all, it's the only thing that's going to protect our children from porn and eeeviilll paedoes and...

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Elon Musk unveils Hyperloop – the subsonic tube of tomorrow

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"The SF to LA route alone would cost only $6bn to build"

Unless you're talking about Government expenditure, since when did the words "only" and "six billion" ever go together...?

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Graham Marsden
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Be pure, be vigilant...

... BEHAVE!

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Feds arrest rogue trucker after GPS jamming borks New Jersey airport test

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"such systems are unpopular with the slackers"

Ah, a variant on the "if you have nothing to hide..." argument, methinks.

After all, you shouldn't object to your employer tracking your every move and every stop to ensure that they're getting the maximum possible amount of work out of you (preferably for the minimum possible amount of money) should you?

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NSA to world+dog: We're only watching 1.6% of internet, honest

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"of the 1.6% of the data, only 0.025% is actually selected for review"

Those sound such small numbers, don't they?

But, of course, they aren't *numbers*, they're percentages and is a neat way of burying the fact that actually huge amounts (in numerical terms) of data is being scanned on what is nothing more than a massive fishing expedition in the hope that, somewhere in all the dross, they'll come up with something useful.

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Mother of Chelyabinsk spotted

Graham Marsden
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Alien

*$#£+!

Translation: Damn, we've been rumbled! Quick, lads, chuck a few more rocks at them before they figure out how to deal with our attack!

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Should UK tear Wi-Fi a new one at 5GHz? Speak your brains, says Ofcom

Graham Marsden
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"there's little or no congestion"

Oh great. I've just had to buy a new video sender because my old one (which worked on 2.4Ghz) became unusable due to the amount of interference and now it looks like the replacement is going to end up with the same problem :-(

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Study finds online commentards easily duped, manipulated

Graham Marsden
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"forum comments that receive positive votes are disproportionately more likely to be up-voted again"

You mean like when El Reg recently had a list of the "most popular" (or some such) comments at the bottom of an article (before you clicked on the Comment button) which pretty much guaranteed that they were the ones most likely to get votes?

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Plods probe death threat tweets to MP - but WHO will rid us of terrible trolls?

Graham Marsden
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@Iglethal - Re: Kinda pointless if you live in a safe constituency, though.

The problem is that there's a lot of people who don't *want* to know about their candidate. They vote for Party X and the reason they do that is because their parents voted for Party X or because Party X is seen as the "The Party of... whatever" which is a group they consider themselves to be in.

When you only get to put one X on a piece of paper, there is insufficient granularity to determine what the people *really* want (and, of course, that's the way the two big political parties like it...)

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Graham Marsden
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@Crisp - Re: Kinda pointless if you live in a safe constituency, though.

"someone else will say things in your name"

They do that anyway. Voting in our current broken system just condones the system without letting you actually have a say in the outcome.

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How did Microsoft get to be a $1.2bn phone player? Hint: NOT Windows Phone

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

How to make money...

... Don't Innovate, just Litigate!

1) Come up with a ridiculously broad or blatantly obvious idea

2) Patent it (the USPO will let it go through on the nod) and stick it in a drawer

3) Wait for someone to create a product that uses an idea which is something close enough to it

4) Threaten to sue unless they pay you Protection Money (you've most likely got deeper pockets, they'll probably cave first)

5) PROFIT!!

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Beam me up? Not in the life of this universe

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Radio?

Why use Radio when you have subspace?

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UK economy to lose £198m if BBC and pals lose EPG slots - Ministry of Fun

Graham Marsden
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Personally...

... I prefer to get the Radio Times every week, read through it and see what's each channel, then set the programmes up to record so I can watch them when it's convenient for me.

And, yes, I'm aware that the RT doesn't feature *all* the channels out there, but given that, when I've bothered to look at them, they're not showing anything worth watching...

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Lingering fingerprint fingering fingered in iOS 7 for NEW iPHONE

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

To hell with the story...

... thumbs up to your sub-editor for his sub-stantially sub-lime sub-versive, sub-headline! (Now to hit sub-mit...)

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UK the 'number 1 target' of online gangsters in 25 countries - e-crime report

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"cyber attack [is] a higher threat than a nuclear attack"

I saw Keith Vaz say this on BBC News today and thought "Wow! That must be *really* serious because we are in *such* danger of a Nuclear Attack from... erm..."

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Planned SMUT TSUNAMI fails to wreak havoc on UK.gov email

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

@Swiss Anton - Re: Whilst I object to these stupid and unworkable proposals...

The problem with Article 8 of the ECHR is that it contains the following weasel words:

"2. There shall be no interference by a public authority with the exercise of this right except such as is in accordance with the law and is necessary in a democratic society in the interests of national security, public safety or the economic well-being of the country, for the prevention of disorder or crime, for the protection of health or morals, or for the protection of the rights and freedoms of others."

In other words, as long as the Government can argue (with a straight face) that they're doing it "for public safety" or "for the prevention of crime" or "the protection of morals" the odds are they'll get away with it.

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Graham Marsden
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@Dennis Wilson - Re: Brilliant.......

"there was talk of creating a top flight domain just for porn, like XXX [...] Anything that has even the remotest chance of taking it out of mainstream internet is fine by me"

And, as I've pointed out many a time on El Reg, what about businesses like mine? I run Affordable Leather Products, making and selling leather bondage and BDSM gear. I have a .co.uk domain because it's a UK business.

My site has adult content, but it's not a "porn" site, so why should I have (and have to pay a stupid price for) a .xxx domain? You, like Cameron, don't seem to have thought this one through...

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Dumpsters begone! App matches diners with leftovers to broke, hungry

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Alternatively...

... American restaurants could just stop serving such ridiculously oversized portions.

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Robot cop called in after MAD BONGER blown up in LIQUID MARIJUANA EXPLOSION

Graham Marsden
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Terminator

Stoned or high...

... you're coming with me!

(Ok, so it should be Robocop, not the Terminator, but WTH!)

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Microsoft to Google: Please remove us from internet

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Oh...

... the irony!!

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First burger made of TEST-TUBE MEAT to be eaten on August 5

Graham Marsden
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Meanwhile...

... there's a way of getting protein that's a hell of a lot cheaper, by using insects.

Now of course most people's immediate reaction is "Eww! Insects...!" but, as a recent documentary showed, there are more than a few countries around the world where people are happily and healthily eating insects.

To get away from the "It's a bug!" reaction, take the insects, grind them up, reconstitute and colour the protein, bung in some flavouring if you want and you'll have something which is basically what turns up in burgers these days anyway.

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Microsoft introduces warning on child abuse image searches

Graham Marsden
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@DrXym - Re: Nonce sense

"It would be far more sensible to let them search away and the results they clicked on."

Sorry, but I don't agree with you because this would require that all our searches are not merely monitored, but all the websites we visit tracked *and* then all our activities recorded *just in case* someone has buried a secret cache of kiddie porn in a folder on the site "Humorous Anecdotes of the Great Accountants".

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