* Posts by Antonymous Coward

172 posts • joined 6 Jul 2013

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Factory reset memory wipe FAILS in 500 MEELLION Android mobes

Antonymous Coward
FAIL

Re: Knock Knock

@AC

Not sure I follow your logic. Seemed to be:

"The boffins only spent their time scrutinising what is BY FAR the market leader, ignoring all the others. Therefore we should all pretend that NSA's Redmond's obscure little offering is secure"

Did I get that about right?

A sort of obscurity is security argument?

Tit.

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Heroic German rozzers rescue innocent lamb from sordid brothel

Antonymous Coward
Headmaster

Re: All Things Considered...

Nice catch! Took me three tries to see it :(

"...not easy to know it's a typo or intentional" must be the understatement of the day.

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EXT4 filesystem can EAT ALL YOUR DATA

Antonymous Coward
Stop

NO NO NO!

DO NOT UPDATE your kernel!

The BUG is in "stable" while the FIX has yet to reach Linus.

DO NOT UPDATE your kernel!

It's (another) Neil Brown special in the software raid code.

It:

Only affects filesystems on software raid (md/raid0) on SSD

Probably affects other filesystems.

First appeared in a "bugfix" patch committed in April and has been percolating down through the "stable" branches.

Is the consequence of a misdirected DISCARD instruction and can be avoided by disabling discard/trim or DOWNGRADING the kernel.

DO NOT UPDATE your kernel!

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City of birth? Why password questions are a terrible idea

Antonymous Coward
Terminator

Re: inquiring minds

Fucktard.

That one never changes. Google is a fucktardivore.

Which makes me wonder if there's truth to the old adage you are what you eat... the empirical evidence El Reg just presented doesn't seem to leave much room for doubt... hmmm...

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A good effort, if a bit odd: Windows 10 IoT Core on Raspberry Pi 2

Antonymous Coward

"The question is, does the Pi really need Windows?"

Like a fish needs a bicycle.

Also...

"...preferably with an HTML display attached.."

...I know you called it "odd" ...but... WTF?! Brainfart for HDMI?

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Candlelit vigil planned to honour executed Newcastle cow Bessie

Antonymous Coward
Terminator

With you in spirit Bessie.

This mindless militarisation of our police state must not go unoppos

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Milking cow shot dead by police 'while trying to escape'

Antonymous Coward
Holmes

Re: Can't think why the cow was stressed

Exactly what I came (clipboard loaded) to say!..

"...was in a highly distressed state..."

Well no shit plod! Was that before of after the marauding mob of armed coppers, up to twenty cars and a helicopter started chasing her about? Under the same circumstances I imagine I'd be "in a highly distressed state" too! Would you shot me? Don't answer that.

This isn't bloody Los Angeles you know.

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Ricoh rolls out electrifyingly exciting RUBBER!

Antonymous Coward
Gimp

Re: ideas

You wouldn't happen to work at the CIA, would you?

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Stripped to the core and full of Xfce: Xubuntu Linux loses it

Antonymous Coward
WTF?

Re: Get with the times

Forgot the "joke alert" icon or the requisite "/sarc" sig?

I'm genuinely baffled... the middle paragraph particularly seemed to be written with tongue firmly in cheek... but tone is so easily lost in type... WTF?

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Antonymous Coward
Thumb Up

Re: And thus we have

"I genuinely think I am the only person on earth who actually likes Unity."

Not so. Although it certainly seems that way. Presumably the trolls, gremlins and honestly disgruntled simply make far more noise.

In general I like the UI too. Though I do wish they'd stop treating us all like morons and allow a bit more versility/configurability. If they really are worried about the helpdesk costs of mouth breathers borking their own UIs then why not provide an "expert" flag which toggles between "dumb" and functional modes, simply causing Unity to hide all the useful stuff from the fucktards and ignore any "expert" settings they may have (mis)set? Could be an admin-only admind flag.. part of the user profile?

Please canonical! We're not all fucktards... Shirley you can find a *simple* and *manageable* way to cater to the rest of us too?!

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You can't put a price on LOVE, says Apple after court's Samsung payout slash

Antonymous Coward
Gimp

WTF?

In an emailed statement Apple tells El Reg...

OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF? OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!...

What the hell has happened? Has hell frozen over? Was the statement delivered by a squadron of carrier pigs? Has the Apple's Corporation Inc. finally outgrown its splendid little tantrum? Shirley not?

I feel strangely disorientated.

Help me Reg! What the hell just happened?

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LOHAN's final test flight moniker: The people must decide

Antonymous Coward
Pint

Re: ARSE!

Cheers!

I fleetingly considered Preflight Aerial Error Detection Operation but was afraid I'd end up on the register and had to destroy my brain.

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Antonymous Coward
Unhappy

ARSE!

(Another Round of System Evaluation)

Why do I keep missing these? X*(

...

T his

I s

T he

L ast

I ntegrated

C omms

K ick-around

---

T his

I s

T he

F inal

E lectronic

S ystems

T est

---

T his

I s

T he

F inal

U nufied

C ommunications

K ick-around

---

m ore

m agnificent

m anoeuvres

T o

I ntensively

T est

T he

I ntegrated

E lectronics

S ystems

---

H elium

O rbiter

H asty

A ssessment of

N avigation

---

P robably ( although, arguably Certainly)

U ltimate

N avigation

T est

---

T hat

W as

A nother

T est

---

N ear

I nauguration

P reflight

P erlustration

L everaging

E lectronics

S crutiny

---

B est

E valuate

L OHAN to

G round

I nformation

A nd

N avigation

---

A erial

I nformation

R elay

B egins

A nother

G ruelling

S hakedown

..needless to say, I chose FIST (with CLARKSON close behind).

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It’s Adobe’s Creative Cloud TITSUP birthday. Ease the pain with its RGB-wrangling rivals

Antonymous Coward

@m0rt

What do you need of your photo manager that Darktable doesn't do?

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BONKERS apocalyptic WAR WAGONS circle Vulture South

Antonymous Coward
WTF?

Re: Where you using a camera on review?

Personally I thought it was all quite miraculous!...

While undeniably quite astonishingly abysmal, considering they were taken in the dark ("hoped the low light wouldn't make pics too horrid...") every shot appears to have been taken in full sunlight! Really quite incredible. Must have been one of them newfangled Microkia/Noksoft miracle phones wot Orwellski was raving so frothily about a while ago >;)

Not sure how "Vulture South's office at top right in the red circle." managed to find its way to the extreme top left corner of that snap though.

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French BIONIC EYE sits IN your peeper, feeds infrared light into nerves

Antonymous Coward
Childcatcher

Re: A bit large?

What eye was wondering is, why "100mm²" rather than 1cm²?

Seems like an awful waste of electrons.

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Snapdragon 810 chip doesn't overheat, jilted Qualcomm sniffs at LG

Antonymous Coward
Thumb Up

@ P.

Ditto. ...but only if the battery weighs practically nothing and lasts a month per charge.

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Antonymous Coward
Go

Re: I think phones might be getting a bit over-powered

"...plaguing desktops for the past few years."

Your definition of "few" being thirtyish?

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Antonymous Coward
Thumb Up

Re: Compared to most phone case materials leather is an insulator

"Compared to most phone case materials leather is... too hot for this use case."

I like what you did there.

;-B

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Whither the PC? Mobes, slabs drive majority of traffic for top news sites

Antonymous Coward
IT Angle

Re: m.theregister.co.uk

Does Reg publish user agent stats? One might think it might... considering itself a source of "Independent news, views, opinions and reviews on the latest in the IT industry."

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SHA-1 crypto hash retirement fraught with problems

Antonymous Coward
Thumb Up

Exactly. A rainbow table will give you cleartext(s) which happen to produce a specified digest. *Not* *all* the cleartext(s) which produce a specified digest (unless the table is infinite in size). And *certainly* not THE cleartext which produces a specified digest.

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Jeez, AT&T. Billing a pensioner $24,000 for dialup is pretty low

Antonymous Coward
Holmes

lol

I know.. but wondered if he might have a look at some of the coverage of his story and find us that way. There might even be a commentard in the valley who knows him but doesn't know about the free dialup?

No harm in trying anyway. ;o)

Mr Ronald Dorff, Woodland Hills, San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles 91302 91303 91364 91365 91367 91371 91372 91399 better dialup internet than your AOL/AT&T is available FREE of any charge! (See above)

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Antonymous Coward
Mushroom

$50 per month for a "service" WORTH NOTHING

Poor soul is being robbed. $50 per month?? $600 per anum?!?!! For *DIALUP*?!?!??!?!!!!!!OMG!!!one

All local calls in LA are FREE

Proper (megabit) internet in LA is ~$15-20 per month

...and AOL is exploiting its poor victims to the tune of $50 every month? THAT is DISGUSTING.

There are at least THREE long established sources of FREE dialup in LA. All at least as reliable AND less intrusive than AOL.

If you're out there Mr Dorff (and haven't been frightened off the interwebs by that nasty brain eating corporate dinosaur): YOU CAN GET DIALUP ABSOLUTELY FREE. Remove ALL that apaling AOL crapware from your computer and simply enter a FREE DIALUP number into your operating system's own little dialup program. Your computer will ask you for a username and password the first time you connect and you can enter anything you like for either - they don't care - it's FREE!

Here are a few FREE local access numbers to get you started... use whichever you fancy. They should all be local to you and so completely free to use:

818-574-1010 (VAN NUYS)

818-200-1010 (NORTH HOLLYWOOD)

310-409-1010 (BEVERLY HILLS)

818-806-1010 (BRBN SNVY)

310-923-7010 (W ANGELES)

818-451-1010 (CANOGA PARK)

818-812-1010 (NORTHRIDGE)

http://www.fastfreedialup.com/free_dialup_access_numbers.html

Time for a new slogan AOL? How about this..

AOL :: We're mugging the elderly

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WHY can't Silicon Valley create breakable non-breakable encryption, cry US politicians

Antonymous Coward

Re: asymmetric-key decryption

Citation, please, along with definition of "long term"?

Really?

That will last or have an effect over a long period of time.

That is not likely to change or be solved quickly.

In the context of encryption as I used it above, I personally consider the terms of "terms" to be something in the region of

short term: >5yrs

medium term: ~5-20yrs

long term: ~20-50yrs

or thereabouts. With people often living for around a century a good argument can be made for doubling those figures but in the context of "classical" asymmetric ciphers things get a bit (even more) sketchy: I doubt you'll find *ANYONE* competent who'd recommend anything other than "well, 2kB if you must but you really should be using something symmetrical" for a 40-100 year range.

"Citation"? Is your Google broken? There are hundreds. All remarkably similar. Here's a nice succinct table from 2012 presenting NIST recommendations with all the pertinent data in one place:

http://www.arpapress.com/Volumes/Vol10Issue2/IJRRAS_10_2_16.pdf (page 7)

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Antonymous Coward
Thumb Up

Re: asymmetric-key decryption

*EXACTLY* what PD said... and that's *EXACTLY* we're so vehemently discouraged from generating keys greater than 4kb in size, even though *EVERYONE* with any expertise in the field *AGREES* that you *NEED* a key of at least 6kb-8kb to stand any chance of attaining long term security.

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Imation board and CEO get desperate ahead of May 20 AGM

Antonymous Coward
Headmaster

Re: Good luck Imation!

I know... "your using the wrong yaw"

Humblest apologies.

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Antonymous Coward
Pint

Good luck Imation!

Hope you're shareholders aren't as mindlessly greedy and gullible as Cadburys'

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Euroboffins want EU to achieve techno-independence

Antonymous Coward
Thumb Up

Quite!

"EuroCrypto and EuroCloud needed to protect local data"

As if CIA/NSA/GCHQ would *EVER* allow "EuroCrypto" to happen without "accidentally (honest)" botching it or vetoing it! lmao

It'll *NEVER* happen. *NOT* *EVER*

Still, I suppose it's better than nothing of them to make a bit more noise and perhaps focus a bit more attention to the problem. Perhaps Asia or somewhere will take up the challenge... they have already developed and introduced both CAMELLIA and ARIA after all; the two amusing and effective solutions to removing the SPOOKINESS from the NSA's pet AES without abandoning the useful and practically ubiquitous hw acceleration.

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SpaceX in MONEY RING shot, no spare juice for tail backdown this time

Antonymous Coward
WTF?

"Elon Musk's SpaceX in space race breakthrough"

Not having much luck spotting the "space race breakthrough" here either. It went a bit higher than *it* has previously? Is that the "space race breakthrough"?

Anyone else feeling clickbaited?

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Microsoft's cash-leaking Nokia phones rip off patents, face import ban

Antonymous Coward
Thumb Up

Sauce for the goose...

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Acer: 'We will be the last man standing in the PC industry'

Antonymous Coward
IT Angle

Re: Cloud Category?

Fine examples of hot air and nebulous marketing puff. Shirley "cloud" if anything is?

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Looking for laxatives, miss? Shoppers stalked via smartphone Wi-Fi

Antonymous Coward
WTF?

Re: Am I the only person in the world

"one with unlimited tethering option"

Who? Where? How much? Still accepting subscribers?... or are you one of the jammy s*ds who got on "the one plan"?

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Antonymous Coward
Thumb Up

Re: What Stores....

Ahhh.... you've reminded me of the days when AMD (and Cyrix) were competitive and interesting progress made desktop processing exciting!...

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Apple Watch RIPPED APART, its GUTS EXPOSED to hungry Vultures

Antonymous Coward
Paris Hilton

Despair? Fanbois? Really?

Gaze upon Cook's wristjob, ye fanbois, and despair ejaculate

Methinks you've simultaneously overestimated the sophistication and underestimated the devotion of the fanboisie there Reg.

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Microsoft: Profit DECIMATED because you people aren't buying PCs

Antonymous Coward
Windows

Re: Guess what happens

"Microsoft keeps saying just wait for _________. You fill in the blank - I gave up keeping track."

How long have you been waiting?

Hang in there. I'm sure Windows __ will be everything you're hoping for...

"DOS being fairly cloned has had a dramatic impact on our pricing for DOS. I wonder if we would have it around 30-40% higher if it wasn't cloned. I bet we would!"

Bill Gates, 6th August 1989

"DOS remains the backbone though of both our software businesses. It is under extreme attack by high quality clones like DR DOS."

Bill Gates, 1st December 1989

"On the PR side, we have begun an 'aggressive leak campaign' for MS-DOS 5.0. The goal is to build anticipation for MS-DOS 5.0, and diffuse potential excitement/momentum from the DR DOS 5.0 announcement."

"DR DOS 5.0 Competitive Analysis," 2nd May 1990

"On the desktop, we have a strategic win today (monopoly). We must keep the desktop."

Microsoft Executive Staff Retreat, 10th May 1990

"There is an obvious conflict quickly approaching us, and I get the feeling we are not very prepared PR wise. The conflict is Windows 3.1 and DR-DOS. Apparently DRI is quite aware of our plans to not test with DR-DOS, our plan to not let them enter the Win 3.1 beta program, and our plan to detect the presence of MS-DOS and warn the user they are on an un-tested OS if MS-DOS is not detected."

David Cole, 7th November 1991

"What the guy is supposed to do is feel uncomfortable, and when he has bugs, suspect that the problem is dr-dos and then go out to buy ms-dos. or decide not to take the risk for all the other machines he has to buy for in the office."

Brad Silverberg, 10th February 1992

"the design preview has not leaked to the press are you surprised do you wish it would if so when"

Steve Ballmer, 9th June 1992

"Who at Microsoft gets up every morning thinking about how to compete with these guys in the short term -- specifically cut their revenue. Perhaps we need more focus on this. . . . "

Bill Gates, 21st July 1993

"WOW -- If you are REALLY still telling the field the RTM is Sept 30 -- and if you are REALLY serious -- we have a ton of work to do VERY fast?!! Is this just propaganda mail???"

Mike Appe, 7th April 1994

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Antonymous Coward
Terminator

Re: Be patient, it's coming!

"All Microsoft has to figure out is forcing users somehow to actually buy a PC even if they do not need/want it and, kerrr-ching!

That'll be the ENFORCED obsolescence (sabotage) mechanism now trundling towards W7 then. Vista and 8 being stillborn and 9 not happening at all, it's next stop "UEFI SecureBoot + Windows 10 + Windows App store + forced cloud + subscriptions = profit"

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If hypervisor is commodity, why is VMware still on top?

Antonymous Coward
Facepalm

Re: "Wreck", "wrecking"

*PLEASE* stop feeding the RICHTO!

It was a good, informative, considered, helpful article. The Microsoft Corporation Inc. didn't "win" it. The RICHTO has been activated. Please don't feed it.

PS I don't think that even the gross and unforgivable crime against humanity of spawning and harbouring the RICHTO justifies this: "bizarre island of poncy gits with sticks up their pigus"

*PLEASE* stop feeding the RICHTO!

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Antonymous Coward
Trollface

Don't feed the RICHTO!

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Got a Samsung Galaxy S5? Crooks can steal your fingerprint – claim

Antonymous Coward
Holmes

Re: So who's bright idea was this?

Compliments of Google apparently. It's a flaw in Android <= 5.0 - which explains why the S6 (Android 5.0.2) isn't afflicted. Samsung just had the misfortune to be using the fingerprint facility of a borked Android release in the S5.

http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-32429477

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Love-rat fanboi left bobbing for Apples in tiny Japanese bath

Antonymous Coward
Holmes

Re: Technically very interesting

How intriguingly similar to gremlins. A most interesting deduction.

As for the scum, I believe that's almost ubiquitously associated from around the time of purchase. Perhaps the proliferation attracts more?

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Antonymous Coward
Mushroom

Holy Shit! So much Holy Shit!

Suppose she had to defend herself from the likelihood of the slimy toad splaffing "revenge porn" all over the interwebs... once splaffed, can never be unsplaffed. It was the ONLY way to be sure!

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Google versus the EU: Sigh. You can't exploit a contestable monopoly

Antonymous Coward
FAIL

Re: So....

"They got in trouble for using their (fairly won) OS monopoly..."

WTF?

FAIRLY WON???? Citation needed!.. Please don't forget to include comprehensive references to at least (in no particular order): Digital Research, FUD, OS2, kernel obfuscation, HIMEM, undocumented ("illegal") opcodes, Lotus, United States v. Microsoft Corp., Wordperfect...

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Apple will cut down 36,000 acres of forest in 'conservation scheme'

Antonymous Coward
Facepalm

Re: Trees are a crop

Cutting down dead trees is bad. Just ask a woodpecker.

More of the "I can improve it by messing with it" delusion which pervades those utterly brainless do-gooder types.

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Antonymous Coward
WTF?

Forestry != woodland

I know Apple Inc. deserves a good bashing (on many accounts) but Shirley this is an exception? After all, The Precious Shiny must be packed in something to keep it, erm... shiny... en route to the breathless fanboisie.

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JavaScript CPU cache snooper tells crooks EVERYTHING you do online

Antonymous Coward
Boffin

Re: And Another Thing

RTFA!

The most eminently diligent python-wrangling boff has already considered VMs:

“Our attack, which is an extension of the last-level cache attacks of (Adelaide University's) Yuva Yarom, allows a remote adversary recover information belonging to other processes, other users and even other virtual machines running on the same physical host as the victim web browser.”

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Huawei P8: Chinese mobes have arrived and the West should tremble

Antonymous Coward
Headmaster

Re: Who are we?

Very droll. Except that isn't how it's pronounced :-|

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Antonymous Coward
Gimp

Re: 2680mAh battery

No.

Glued in place for your pleasure.

http://www.gsmarena.com/huawei_p8-7006.php

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