* Posts by Antonymous Coward

346 posts • joined 6 Jul 2013

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Chap runs Windows 95 on Apple Watch

Antonymous Coward
Windows

Re: Curious Results

>>It takes an hour to boot...

Sounds like he's faithfully recreated every nuance

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Quad-core coffee table trumped by dual-Mac garden furniture

Antonymous Coward
Headmaster

Re: Trump

I've been losing sleep over this too. I've a horrible feeling that, should the Republican party fail to destroy their lead candidate before the election, and then should he be elected, the meaning of the word "trump" could be quickly and irrevocably inverted. Much in the style of bork and gerrymander...

Will Trump trump "trump"?

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Huawei's P9 flagship: There's a lot to Leica

Antonymous Coward
FAIL

I'm afraid that premiciously branded "USP" smells like bollocks...

"exceptionally strong sensors, with 1.25-micron pixels (smaller than Samsung's) letting in more light."

...either the author has been quietly indulging an impromptu ischæmic event, or he's mindlessly C&P'd marketese at us. Whichever it is, it's obviously utter crap.

Another sponsored infomercial?

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Brit firm unleashes drone-busting net cannon

Antonymous Coward
Terminator

A ruse by another name...

Copyright problems with "SkyNet"?

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$17 smartwatch sends something to random Chinese IP address

Antonymous Coward
Pint

Re: Optional

Oh, what tangled Webbs we weave, when first we practise to deceive.

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Raspberry Pi 3 to sport Wi-Fi, Bluetooth LE – first photos emerge

Antonymous Coward

Re: Fail

Um, cheers AnT... except.. you seem to have hit the wrong button ( < : - ( ·

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Antonymous Coward

Re: Fail

No mistake. Still 1GB RAM sadly. Looks like something's developing quickly... perhaps for tomorrow's genethliac festivities?..

Broadcom BCM2837 64bit ARMv7 Quad Core Processor running at 1.2GHz

1GB RAM

BCM43143 WiFi on board

Bluetooth Low Energy (BLE) on board

40pin extended GPIO

4x USB2 ports

4 pole Stereo output and Composite video port

Full size HDMI

CSI camera port for connecting the Raspberry Pi camera

DSI display port for connecting the Raspberry Pi touch screen display

Micro SD port for loading your operating system and storing data

Upgraded switched Micro USB power source (now supports up to 2.4 Amps)

Expected to have the same form factor has the Pi 2 Model B, however the LEDs will change position

http://www.farnell.com/datasheets/2020826.pdf

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Microsoft quits giving us the silent treatment on Windows 10 updates

Antonymous Coward
Facepalm

Re: Lets look at the facts!

Looks like someone forgot the golden rule: You CAN'T do sarcasm in type - you WILL be taken literally. I suspect JJ was trying to invoke the spirit of the joke alert and troll icons, but, apparently somewhat ill-advisedly, plumped for the windows user with only the finest satirical intent. Whoops!

Don't be too hard on him peeps!

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Head transplant candidate sells souvenirs to fund operation

Antonymous Coward
Terminator

I'm imagining they'll saturate the recipient (head contributor) with one of 'em newfangled saccharide thinganybobs like what frogs have before they lop of his melon and whack it into the freezer.

It's how you'd thaw the thing out safely afterwards that's puzzling me. Can't see sticking it in the fridge for a couple of days being particularly healthy... nor whacking it in the microwave on low power... hmmm...

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Safe Harbor crunch time: Today's the day to hammer out privacy deal

Antonymous Coward
Pirate

Re: Umm...

Exactly. Not to mention appending you to all manner of deeply insalubrious "lists" if your sdoopid enough to make a nuisance of yourself.

"European officials are unsure whether that arrangement would provide real accountability or is just a sop to get the deal done. Their proposal is to let European data protection authorities investigate complaints."

"Unsure"? Seriously? No they're not. I doubt there's a single soul on this earth who'd be anything but sure of exactly what that "offer" amounts to. Sadly I also doubt that'll do anything to stop it being rubber stamped through.

SAFE HARBOR II

The Lie That Just Won't Die

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Munich Ubuntu

Antonymous Coward
Pint

Re: Munich Ubuntu

There would/will inevitably be a tsunami of propaganda from the empire if/when they succeed in buying a conversion, of course, so I suppose no "news" = no change... but I'd also like to see a properly researched update on the situation, complete with interviews with key personnel. Sounds almost like proper journalism, doesn't it?! Perhaps the Reg could collaborate with Heise - they seem to have been following the situation quite well.

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Who's moderating Andrew Orlowski's latest

Antonymous Coward
Big Brother

Re: Who's moderating Andrew Orlowski's latest

What exactly are His Maj's directives for differentiating acceptable/unacceptable splaffs? Is there a timing/retardation dimension to the procedure or is it simple boolean censorship? I feel this should be freely available info, so consider this a FOI request.

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The Register's entirely serious New Year's resolutions for 2016

Antonymous Coward
Pint

Re: @AC - "...would the last commentard out please remember to turn the light off."

Good point. Thanks for setting my mind at rest.

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Antonymous Coward
Unhappy

Re: Can we have

" Can we have comments directly under articles?"

No.

We had a featured top three splaffs thing for a while (remember that?) which I thought was an excellent compromise. Fun, engaging, informative, balancing, etc. It was quashed by the new regime. I imagine the infomercializers found the hoi polloi objectionable while the new painfully satire-shy management was dismayed and embarrassed. This latest proclamation sounds like an announcement that the rot will deepen. Someone, somewhere, is dreaming of lots of happy wealthy advertisers... and of enjoying their patronage of their newly bland de-beaked Reg... and I'm certain those advertisers WILL enjoy it immensely. That advertising'll be dirt cheap when no-one's reading it... AND all that annoying pecking will have gone away.

Quite sure old Reg is being embraced, extended...

I hope I'm proven wrong... but if not, would the last commentard out please remember to turn the light off.

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Vote now to name HPE's London boozer

Antonymous Coward
Coat

Re: Honourable mention shurely?

So I did. Humblest apologies for the obvious oxymoron.

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Antonymous Coward
Pint

Re: Honourable mention shurely?

Cheers for including me in the fun! :D

Although I can't help wishing I'd offered..

Bill and Dave's Excellent Alehouse

..or..

Bill and Dave's Bogus Tavern

Ho-hum

Oh, and while I'm making a nuisance of myself... Any signs of movement on the FAA front?

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HPE's private London drinking club: Name that boozer

Antonymous Coward
Pint

Hewlett Packard's Halfcut Punters' Hurling Palace ("HPHPHP" for short)

The Halfcut Hack

Ye Roofied CIO

The Meg's Head

Idiotic Barfing Manoeuvre

Bill and Dave's Excellent Boozer

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Microsoft rides to Dell's rescue, wrecks rogue root certificate

Antonymous Coward
Mushroom

Re: Well holy crap...

A pwnage war! Brilliant! Oh I do dearly hope so!

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!...

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Reg forums TITSUP?

Antonymous Coward
Pint

Re: Borked again Reg?

Christ alive! Haven't seen hiccough spelled correctly for a while... and Reg would be the last place I'd have expected to find one. If only you could successfully derive a noun from a verb, I'd suggest a job exchange with the editorial team.

Cheers Marco.

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Antonymous Coward

Re: Borked again Reg?

Ah! Thanks for the explanation.

Was 08GMT the best time to do it? Shirley a couple of hours earlier is the quietest time?

Couldn't you have put up a wee notice somewhere to warn us?

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Antonymous Coward
FAIL

Borked again Reg?

Seems like 1/2 ah hour of TITSUP, so far this morning, at mason Reg. Unfortunate timing on this occasion too.

Any idea what the problem is chaps? This appalling reliability smells like "cloud" to me... I don't remember this sort of crap happening in the good old days.

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Lights, power, action! Smartplugs with a twist

Antonymous Coward
Thumb Up

Re: Life's too short

Old Reg needs an "Infomercial" category to file all these product placements away under :(

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What the world needs now is Pi, sweet $5 Raspberry Pi Zero

Antonymous Coward
Thumb Up

Re: Where did the Micro:Bit from the BBC get to?

..wondering if the Pi Zero is what the whole Micro:Bit project should actually have been...

THIS^

Consider this post an additional 100 upvotes!!!!!!!!!one

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Sneaky Microsoft renamed its data slurper before sticking it back in Windows 10

Antonymous Coward
Unhappy

"damaging Microsoft’s reputation as a trusted consumer brand."

Oh crap, censorship's cranked up to 11 again and damaging El Reg’s reputation as a trusted brand.

Need the headstone icon back ------>

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Thai women drugged punters 'with Xanax-spiked nipples' – cops

Antonymous Coward
Thumb Up

Dopey tits

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Antonymous Coward
Holmes

Re: "Walking Street"

I suspect he was wondering if the "l" should have been an "n" ;-)

Speaking of which... any news on the F(ing)AA front?

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Snowden, Schrems, safe harbor ... it's time to rethink privacy policies, says FTC commish

Antonymous Coward
Alien

"US gov trots out yet another disingenuous fucktard to blatantly lie at us."

...while pontificating about honesty, no less!

Mmmm... How I love the smell of hypocrisy disguised as condescension, spewing forth from a politician.

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Sales down, profit up, 1,000 bods chopped: Your one-minute guide to Planet Microsoft

Antonymous Coward
Gimp

Re: We are making strong progress across each of our three ambitions...

"We are making strong progress across each of our three ambitions by delivering innovation people love" riddled CEO Satya Nadella

What I was left wondering is "do the innovation people (who/whatever they are) want Nads' love?"

Maybe it has something to do with Mad_Max's comment about eating a big bag of dicks?

I'm confused.

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CISA latest: Law urging tech giants to share your info with the Feds shows no sign of stopping

Antonymous Coward
Mushroom

Re: A law to STOP the rule of law

The Legalization of Fraud (but Only if You're a Corporation and the Victims Are Just Common Plebs) Act, 2015

Anyone else being reminded of the wanton excesses of ancient Rome?

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Antonymous Coward
WTF?

Myfanwy found her laptop had "upgraded" itself to Windows 10 and she totally flipped out.

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Antonymous Coward
Devil

"Now phone head office and order 5litres of tartan paint and a long weight"

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Antonymous Coward

BOFH lesson three: Posture

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Antonymous Coward
Black Helicopters

What Lovebubbles couldn't understand is why the new Safari rendering bug only affected The Register

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Antonymous Coward
Paris Hilton

Sushimi-Croak bent over backwards to understand the new Windows interface

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Antonymous Coward
Gimp

After resisting for months, Bubbles finally submitted and prepared to receive Windows 10.

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Antonymous Coward
Gimp

Sprinkles' registration with the new internet model agency began typically enough...

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Laser razor binned from Kickstarter resurfaces on Indiegogo

Antonymous Coward
Holmes

"Skarp Technologies"

I wonder, is "Skarp" an intentional evocation of scam and crap or something Freudian?

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Mozilla to boot all plugins from Firefox … except Flash

Antonymous Coward
Childcatcher

I imagine they were alluding to sandboxing the little turd.

I happily offer to lend them my cat, should they need inspiration for an appropriate approach.

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Terror in the Chernobyl dead zone: Life - of a wild kind - burgeons

Antonymous Coward
Alien

Re: Any 3-eyed fish, six-legged deer or carniverous, sabre-toothed elk?

Bad Lewis.

Couldn't even get the two excerpts you selected to contradict one another? They don't in the slightest.

Of course populations of wildlife will encroach on the contaminated area... and the consequences are, of course, horrific. Go for a wander around your "park" of three headed snakes and legless deer and (perhaps) you'll understand.

I'm a supporter of the contra-carbophobe pieces - the mindless modern mainstream edutainment seems abjectly incapable of scientific reporting and has instead, almost without exception, obediently toed the governmental lines. Balance desperately needed. This shit, however, is perverse. What are you on? Some sort of arbitrary all-environmental-damage-is-imaginary crusade? Mescaline? Jesus Lewis! Bulk dissemination of free radioisotopes into the environment is bad, mmmkay? If you can come up with evidence, or even a reasonable argument, to the contrary I'd be interested to read it. That thing you just published wasn't one. It didn't seem to be anything more than a failure to notice that two quotations don't contradict one-another with a dollop of rhetoric on top. As for "56 deaths" - WTF? Mescaline again? Perhaps you might read something on the subject - I might suggest a quick Google of Mr Henry Marsh CBE FRCS, a decent bloke, and his work in Ukraine* to begin.

Bad Lewis. Done yourself something of a disservice I fear.

*I'll leave figuring out the significance of that country as an exercise for the reader.

/"Hippy" mode

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FATTIES have most SUCCESS with opposite SEX! Have some pies and SCORE

Antonymous Coward
Thumb Up

It's not the portions you need to control: That's a lie from the obesity industry to keep you hooked for the rest of your pathetic wobbling, puffing and lucrative little life. McDonalds, Weightwatchers (which insists on tricking fatties into replacing essential lipids with addictive, worthless sugars. Read the ingredients not the lobbying information) , USDA, etc..

It's the content you must control. Completely eliminate, exclude and banish all grain (inc. maize) derivatives, sweeteners and, until you're back on track, spuds. Then carry on eating all you want. You'll be fine. You'll soon find there's a cornucopia of delicious stuff to eat that ISN'T cheap addictive shit pushed by a predatory industry.

Good luck.

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Weird garbled Windows 7 update baffles world – now Microsoft reveals the truth

Antonymous Coward
Holmes

Re: "Accidental release of test software"

Because it wouldn't fool anyone?

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Asus ZenBook UX305: With Windows 10, it suddenly makes perfect sense

Antonymous Coward

Re: @Teiwaz, re: CF cards.

@Shadow Systems

Pics or it didn't happen ;)

PS What happened the other day? You could have phoned. We were worried.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Antonymous Coward
Childcatcher

Innovative new airbag technology unveiled by Bulgaria's Mammistry of Transport.

(PS: I'm NOT posting AC FFS!)

(Edit: not a ripoff of the preceding commentardary, which I hadn't seen. Honest)

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Antonymous Coward
Angel

Hoping to appeal to young people, the Vatican releases illustrations from it's forthcoming 21st century Bible

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Antonymous Coward
Pirate

Intel inside; toasty outside.

/shameless plagiarism ;)

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Antonymous Coward

Third time lucky?

"What the hell's that venomous bastard thing doing on my computer?" Thought Vernon the grass snake.

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Antonymous Coward
Devil

What the hell's that venomous bastard thing doing on my computer? The link was supposed to load Phoronix

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Antonymous Coward
Pint

"FFS that's a venomous bastard of a website"

PS. It's good to see the art dept. didn't needlessly waste a moment's boozing time on pasting that screengrab into the pic :P

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