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* Posts by malle-herbert

133 posts • joined 1 Jul 2013

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OK, we get the message, Microsoft: Windows Defender splats 1000s of WinXP, Server 2k3 PCs

malle-herbert
Joke

Well...

I guess that's one way to get people off of Windows XP...

34
0

Lost your credit card PIN? No worries! Get a new one - over SMS

malle-herbert

"it’s at least as secure as printing a secure envelope and trusting it to the postal system."

Well... that's why whenever I request a new PIN from my bank I have to go

to the bank myself to pick up the envelope and show them my ID to prove

that I am who I say I am...

6
1

MtGox chief Karpelès refuses to come to US for g-men's grilling

malle-herbert
Holmes

I wouldn't want to set one foot on American soil either...

Because once you there you're subject to their laws !

18
2

A scanner, darkly: Master data-miner Google tweaks terms of service

malle-herbert
Facepalm

If it's free...

You're not the consumer... you're the product !

7
1

Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL

malle-herbert
Joke

Re: Foot, meet bullet

Or like Starbucks announcing that there are absolutely no rat-droppings

in their coffee...

13
0

Brit boffins use TARDIS to re-route data flows through time and space

malle-herbert
Coat

So...

In the future every ISP will have a little blue box in their data-center

that takes care of this ?

9
0

You'd better get out before the sync 'n' share bubble POPS

malle-herbert
Black Helicopters

sync 'n' share...

With the NSA...

9
0

Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment

malle-herbert

Re: It must be said repeatedly...

The only way to be certain your files cannot be inspected on Dropbox - or any

service like it - is to NOT put them on there in the first place !

11
0

Top Secret US payload launched into space successfully

malle-herbert
Coat

Isn't it funny...

That the USA seems to have enough money lying around to launch dozens of

spy satellites, but when they want to send a couple of people to the ISS

they need the russians to do it for them ?

16
3

Spy-happy Condoleezza Rice joins Dropbox board as privacy adviser

malle-herbert
Coat

Re: Next appointment Dick Cheney

Or CEO of Microsoft...

17
0

Just what could be inside Dropbox's new 'Home For Life'?

malle-herbert
Thumb Down

"Home For Life".

As long as you don't mind sharing your life with the NSA...

AND as long as your files don't happen to share the same hash-value

with some other files that are subject to a DMCA takedown notice.

9
0

Google woos enterprise developers with 'Glass at Work' program

malle-herbert
Joke

"How many 'Thumbs Up' would that get?"

Depends on where you stick your thumb...

7
0
malle-herbert
Joke

Great idea !

Until video's of someone's proctology exam show up on YouTube...

8
0

Windows XP is finally DEAD, right? Er, not quite. Here's what to do if you're stuck with it

malle-herbert
Mushroom

"Anyone else getting bored of stories about XP updates stopping?"

YES !

10
3

The Great Hash Bakeoff: Infosec bods cook up next-gen crypto

malle-herbert

Re: You missed a bit...

"Take a severful of Hash,add salt, hold the rainbow AND GIVE THE KEYS TO THE NSA BECAUSE THEY ASKED FOR THEM."

7
1

The IT Crowd tops BAFTA nominations with four nods

malle-herbert
Joke

Have you tried

Turning it off and on again ?

10
0

Technology is murdering customer service - legally

malle-herbert
Joke

Just leaving this here :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z99HZ8KyYYc

7
0

Microsoft spells out new rules for exiling .EXEs

malle-herbert

Re: Translation: Coming soon, no side-loading.

Yeah, as long as nobody leaks the certificates !

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/04/05/digitally_signed_zeus/

10
0

WIMPs wipe each other out in giant radiating spot at galaxy's centre

malle-herbert

Re: What's 10,000 light years across and smells of gamma radiation?

Never knew people could actually 'smell' gamma radiation...

(Well maybe Bruce Banner can... I dunno...)

8
0

Amazon stuffs games into Fire TV box: Soz, rivals... WE don't need to make cash on hardware

malle-herbert
Unhappy

"but all of your video is stored in the Amazon cloud."

So it's basically :

"Buffering.....2 seconds of video......Buffering.....4 seconds of video...Buffering......"

10
1

One Win 8 to rule them all: Microsoft talks up 'universal apps' for PCs, slabs and mobes

malle-herbert
FAIL

Nope

Still not buying it...

7
1

Time is on their side: NIST's new atomic clock accurate for 300 MEEELLION years

malle-herbert

Re: Synchronous Power Grids

"But what if the UK grid were running at 49.99 Hz and you wanted it to be 50 Hz. How do you tune the frequency of the whole grid?"

Well... I guess only a complete shutdown and restart with the first generator

being tuned to 50Hz and all the others turned on after that being synchonised

to the first would do the trick !

( I have seen pictures of what happens when an out-of-phase generator is

connected to the grid... Trust me, the carnage runs into the millions when

not only the generator but also the turbines get ripped to shreds ! )

7
0

Nothing's as SCARY as an overly aggressive SOFTWARE PIMP

malle-herbert
Coat

Only time will tell...

How strong Microsoft's pimp-hand really is !

12
0

Google hands over $1.4m for unmarked Street View cars in Italy

malle-herbert
Joke

This will make it a lot easier...

For people to photobomb google !

(instead of taking a 'selfie' ,now you can take a 'googlie'...)

13
0

Tamil Nadu's XP migration plan: Go Linux like a BOSS

malle-herbert
Unhappy

They already do for ELA customers.

Yeah... I just found out that the Dutch government also plans to give away a couple of million to Microsoft for extended support...

11
0

French firms: You want us to compile DATABASES... of our SECRET information?

malle-herbert

Re: Tsk Silly!

I think this whole excercise is to make it easier for their american buddy's...

10
0

Your files held hostage by CryptoDefense? Don't pay up! The decryption key is on your hard drive

malle-herbert
FAIL

so...

All your private keys are stored in plaintext by Microsoft in a folder on your harddrive if you use their API's ?

12
0

'Hello, is that the space station? NASA here. Can you put us through to Moscow?'

malle-herbert
Happy

Isn't this just the plot from 2010?

Except for the monolith and an artificially intelligent computer gone crazy... yes... yes it is...

7
0

Tesla cars can now 'do an ET' without hurting anyone's bottom line

malle-herbert
Happy

'I can tell, you know how I can tell? 'Cos we’re connected'

Nice Iron man reference...

9
0

'Good job, NSA! You turned Yahoo! into an encryption beast'

malle-herbert
Black Helicopters

How long will it take the NSA to get the keys ?

Not very long...

Because those yahoo's at yahoo know that they are required by law to hand them over...

17
0

Home Office terminates order for 16,000 PCs from Dell

malle-herbert
Joke

Or...

They accidently ordered them with XP pre-installed...

9
0

Driver drama delays deep desert XP upgrade

malle-herbert
Meh

Had the same problem with my laptop...

Turned out that the mini PCI-Express wifi card wasn't using PCI-Express but USB...

Same goes for desktops... the PCI-Express connector also has a USB-port on it

so you should really check beforehand to see which bus the card is going to use...

(and probably install the motherboards chipset drivers first to enable USB...)

9
0

Soccer's dull? A MIND-CONTROLLED robo-suit will be used to take first World Cup 2014 kick

malle-herbert
Thumb Up

This may be the first step...

For something like "surrogates"...

8
0

Angry Birds developers downplay fresh data leak claims

malle-herbert
Joke

Well, lucky for me i'm an 89 year old woman...

11
0

NSA plans to FREE YOUR DATA with range of cloud services, analytics

malle-herbert
Coat

I took one look at today's date...

And thought : "Pull the other one..."

7
0

Boss at 'Microsoft' scam support biz told to cough £000s in comp

malle-herbert

How about...

Microsofts own little scam where they (ab)use windows-update to put

a nagging screen on your desktop to remind you to upgrade away from XP ?

And then they ask you for a boatload of money for their latest OS...

25
1

Amazon is decompiling our apps in security gaffe hunt, says dev

malle-herbert

Re: No hacking!

well... according to the DMCA it is...

15
0

Artists install Monty Python silly walk signs in Norwegian town

malle-herbert
Joke

Just don't mention the war...

I did it once... I think I got away with it !

11
0

US to strengthen privacy rights for Euro bods' personal data transfers

malle-herbert
Thumb Down

Please ?

This is just the USA saying : Please use our cloud...

it will make things so much easier for us...

(to snoop on you...)

21
0

Meet the man building an AI that mimics our neocortex – and could kill off neural networks

malle-herbert
Facepalm

If you really want to create an intelligence we recognize as our own...

Why not just have a couple of kids ?

Because we humans will NEVER accept an artificial intelligence as an equal...

(we even have trouble accepting some of our own kind as equals...)

14
5

Watch your brain LIVE in 3D, then train your mind from inside it

malle-herbert
Joke

It's all fun and games...

Until someone tries this system out on a slightly retarded lawnmower-man...

15
0

Microsoft: Let's be clear, WE won't read your email – but the cops will

malle-herbert

"when will personal internet traffic and activities have the same overall protection"

never...

Because it's pretty easy to simply change the goal-posts

after being cought red-handed...

13
0

Raised £350bn in crowdsourced funding? Tell me about it (not)

malle-herbert
Coat

Passing off crap as news...

Those guys at Fark.com have known this for years...

11
0

YouTube follows Twitter onto Turkey's block list

malle-herbert
FAIL

To think...

These guys actually wanted to join the EU !

16
0

Molyneux: Working at Microsoft is 'like taking antidepressants'

malle-herbert
Joke

"working on Microsoft is like being dosed up on antidepressants"

Because working there you'll probably going to need them anyway...

29
1

Apple vows to add racially diverse EMOJIS after MILEY CYRUS TWITTER outrage

malle-herbert

Re: Mohammed and Allah

And while they're at it they could also make Budha, Krishna, Mozes etc. emoticons...

10
0

ISPs' pirate-choking blocking measures ARE effective – music body

malle-herbert

Legit music sales will continue to decline because people don't want to have

to pay twice for the same crap...

36
0

It's 2014 and you can pwn a PC by opening a .RTF in Word, Outlook

malle-herbert
Big Brother

Legacy code or what!

Well, they DO have to keep the backdoors open for the spooks....

29
2

China demands answers from US after 'I spy on one little Huawei' report

malle-herbert
Big Brother

Pot...meet kettle...

etc...

17
3

Middle England's allotments become metric battlefield

malle-herbert

And...

How many parsecs is that ?

11
0

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