* Posts by malle-herbert

377 posts • joined 1 Jul 2013

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UK exam board wants kids to be able to Google answers

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Years later...

Boss : Why haven't you finished the project I gave you ?

Worker : Well, the internet has been down all day so I couldn't google how to do it !

Boss : You better start googling for "How to flip burgers" cause you're fired !

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France wants to make les citoyens' health data available to world+dog

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: flogged off...

I read that as 'frogged off'...

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Who was downloading smut in the office while eating ice cream?

malle-herbert
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It's all fun and games...

Until you come across a pc that has a boatload of extremely illegal crap on it...

I used to be a systems administrator for a small collection of schools when one day I decided to upgrade all administrative pc's with a new anti-virus package.

One particular computer caught my attention because the amount of free space on the drive was extremely low, so after a quick search revealed a hidden directory within the "tempory internet files" directory full of pictures of grown men having sexual intercourse with young children, I decided to take a small trip to the local police station during my break.

After a long talk with a police officer it was decided that I should take no action and tell nobody for the time being and just continue to gather evidence.

So after verifying that it indeed was this one particular person who was responsable for this and making copies of proxy-logs and everything the police finally came round to take the computer, proxy-logs and an external harddrive as evidence.

The guy was arrested the very same day, management and other colleagues were pissed at me for weeks because I didn't tell them what was going on until it was too late...

Turned out that not just this guy but also 3 other people within the organisation (including 2 members of said management) have been sharing this crap amongst themselves for years !

I'm glad I don't work there anymore...

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Amazon AXES try-before-you-buy AppStore TestDrive facility from shopfront

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

"try-before-you-buy" might be a bad idea...

When all your selling is crappy $1 apps that try to steal your private information...

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Tortilla de patatas

malle-herbert
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Happy

Re: Yum!

Seconded... Everything tastes better with bacon !

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USA is home to largest number of data perves, study finds

malle-herbert
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Joke

Data perverts ?

Hmmm... Why am I immediately thinking of a certain three-letter organisation ?

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Microsoft's top legal eagle: US cannot ignore foreign privacy laws

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"US cannot ignore foreign privacy laws"

Yes they can... and they will if it suits them...

"Safe harbour" is basically a sham and once we get a new TTIP treaty shoved down our collective throats it will be all over...

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Ex-cop: Holborn fireball comms outage cover for £200m bling heist gang

malle-herbert
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Joke

Sounds like a script for a "die hard" movie...

Someone call John Mclane...

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TTIP: Protect our privacy in EU-US trade deal or ELSE, snarl MEPs

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

And...

Who says the Americans are going to keep up their end of the bargain anyway ?

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A MILLION Chrome users' data was sent to ONE dodgy IP address

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"Users could opt out of sharing data"

With the NSA... I doubt it...

The data was sent to the USA so it WILL end up in their database...

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To defend offshore finance bods looting developing countries of their tax cash

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: God?

The 'bloke' he's referring to is probably Slartibartfast...

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WIN a RockBLOCK Mk2 Iridium sat comms unit

malle-herbert
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Happy

Big Ultra Long-range Low-orbit Stratospheric High-altitude Interference Test

(P.S. : I don't want nor need the module so if I win you can give the thing to Paul Shackleton... )

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Get off Facebook if you value your privacy, EU commish tells court

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: Get off Facebook if you value your privacy

Shouldn't that be : "Get off the internet if you value your privacy" ?

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Spookception: US spied on Israel spying on US-Iran nuke talks

malle-herbert
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Mushroom

Pot...kettle...etc...

So it's only OK when the US does this to another country ?

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GCHQ: Ensure biz security by STOPPING everyone from TALKING

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"10 Steps to Cyber Security"

But do these ten steps protect you from the spooks themselves ?

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Samsung puts eight-core processor IN A WATCH

malle-herbert
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More cores = Less power

The faster you can get a task done the sooner the processor can go back to sleep and consume almost no power at all...

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Respect mah privacy! EU delegation begs US to play nice with data

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Since when...

Since when does the USA give a toss about other countries rights ?

They're allready trying to play world-police all over the globe, do they really think a bunch of european MEP's will make any difference ?

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Bulk interception is NOT mass surveillance, says parliamentary committee

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Bulk interception of net traffic is not mass surveillance...

Yes...yes it is...

Slurping everybody's data whether they committed a crime or not and storing all that data for an unspecified peiod of time (or indefinitely) = mass surveillance.

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Nest seeks audio talent to delight … someone

malle-herbert
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Joke

No thanks...

I don't think Google can handle my taste in music...

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Dutch telcos build data bonfire after judge nixes retention law

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Off course...

The NSA will still keep a copy...

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Going on holiday? Mexico wants your personal data

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: a long argument and a losing position.

Yeah... she really reminds me of my wife...

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Google will make you live to be 500, claims Ventures president

malle-herbert
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Coat

"Google will make you live to be 500"...

Correction : Google will make WEALTHY people live to be 500...

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Bulk comms spying is not mission creep, insists UK foreign sec

malle-herbert
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Black Helicopters

How long ?

How long will this have to continue before people start showing up at GCHQ headquarters with pitchforks and torches ?

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Wikimedia chucks sueball at NSA and DOJ over mass surveillance

malle-herbert
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FAIL

All this does...

All this does is make lawyers richer and the rest of us poorer...

If there's one thing people with power are afraid of it would be losing their power, and since the people with power are the ones making the laws you can bet those laws will be updated/changed to make everything they want to do perfectly legal.

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Revealed: Facebook Boss Zuckerberg's One Weird Trick When Hiring

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Well said Mark...

Because I'm only willing to share MY personal data with someone who is willing to share theirs with ME...

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Super SSD tech: Fancy a bonkers 8TB all-flash PC?

malle-herbert
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Re:I'm fairly sure that it's not the helium-filling that gives a boost to areal density.

Erm... yes it is...

Because helium is less dense than air (mostly nitrogen) the read/write heads can "float" closer to the platters surface causing the magnetic field to become smaller in size and thus being able to change the magnetic polarity of the material on an even smaller scale...

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Curiosity rover RENDERED ARMLESS by short circuit

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: If they

Naaaahhhh... it's probably asking for "input"...

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Elon Musk plans to plonk urban Hyperloop subsonic tube on California

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: Secure transport system?

Now all we need is some kind of Transport Control Protocol...

(And a series of tubes...)

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Ads watchdog: Er, what does woman in her undies have to do with ‘slim’ phone?

malle-herbert
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Joke
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Google's Softcard hookup: Never mind Apple Pay ... it's about beating the networks

malle-herbert
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Thumb Down

No thanks...

I'd rather have a bank know who I'm paying and how much than google !

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Get yourself connected: GrovePi+ Starter Kit

malle-herbert
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If you want something modular for your arduino...

How about these "stickybugs" ?

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Google hatching YouTube Kiddie Vids – report

malle-herbert
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Unhappy

What's next ?

Adblock for kids ?

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Dutch MEP slams 'cowboy practices' of GCHQ 'n' pals following Gemalto allegations

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

It's "she" not "he"...

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WhatDaHell, WhatsApp? Student claims 'stalker' tool shows security flaws

malle-herbert
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Megaphone

WhatsThat ?

Putting your personal crap out on the internet causes privacy troubles you say ?

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REPORT: UK needs online eBay-style court for civil justice

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

What about evidence ?

Does this mean that all evidence in a case will also have to be digitised somehow ?

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Obama administration ENDORSES Apple Pay during Tim Cook's White House LOVE-IN

malle-herbert
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Trollface

I can already hear the republicans screaming...

ObamaPay !

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'Come on, everyone – block US govt staff ogling web smut at work'

malle-herbert
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Euro ministers trade data for data protection – yes, your passenger records

malle-herbert
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Trollface

"like a twisty turny thing..."

You mean like a snake ?

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Patch now: Design flaw in Windows security allows hackers to own corporate laptops, PCs

malle-herbert
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Devil

"unfixable on Server 2003."

Wow... what a coincidence...since server 2003 is (almost) EOL...

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We'll ask GCHQ to DELETE records of 'MILLIONS' of people – Privacy International

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Does it really matter ?

Because the NSA will probably keep a copy of it all...

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Dissidents and dealers rejoice! Droid app hides your stash in plain sight

malle-herbert
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Re: Encryption isn't illegal...

Not yet, but it isn't so much laws vs technology but law-enforcement vs technology...

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'Camera-shy' Raspberry Pi 2 suffers strange 'XENON DEATH FLASH' glitch

malle-herbert
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Joke

Crashberry Pi...

See title...

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malle-herbert
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Facepalm

E.M.P. anyone ?

A xenon flash is caused by a massive discharge of a capacitor across the xenon-filled tube, so the resulting electromagnetic pulse might be the real culprit here...

Has anyone tried a camera with a LED flash yet ?

(Because I seriously doubt it's the light itself that causes the problem...)

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Smartphones don’t dumb you down, they DUMB you UP

malle-herbert
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Joke

Why dont you just ask...

A little boy called 'Thomas Thomas' for directions...

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'Privacy is DAMAGING to PROGRESS' says Irish big data whitepaper

malle-herbert
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Unhappy

Why don't they just replace the word : 'progress'...

With the words : 'making boatloads of money'...

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ALIENS are surely AMONG US: Average star has TWO potentially Earth-like worlds

malle-herbert
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Joke

Or maybe they found out that we are made of meat...

They're Made Out of Meat...

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Likes of Google to have undue influence in Brussels, say activists

malle-herbert
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Thumb Down

The USA is starting to sound like a bunch of Ferengi...

See title...

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'One day, YOU won't be able to SENSE the INTERNET,' vows Schmidt

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"Imagine you walk into a room..."

And Google knowing exactly which room, in which building, how often you've allready been there before, how long you stayed there, what you did there and with whom....

No thanks Eric...

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Free Windows 10 could mean the END for Microsoft and the PC biz

malle-herbert
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There is no such thing as "free"...

The upgrade may only apply to a severely crippled "home" version so you'll have to pay for the "professional" and "ultimate" versions...

Somewhere...somehow Microshaft WILL find a way to get your money !

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SCREW you, GLASSHOLES! Microsoft unveils HoloLens

malle-herbert
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Re: A new term to describe them?

Microholes...

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