* Posts by malle-herbert

600 posts • joined 1 Jul 2013

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Stealing, scamming, bluffing: El Reg rides along with pen-testing 'red team hackers'

malle-herbert
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Sounds like a story...

Straight from a James Bond movie...

Love it !

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Sony kills off secret backdoor in 80 internet-connected CCTV models

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Hardcoded passwords...

Still being used in 2016 ? Seriously ? See icon -------------------------------->

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Facebook, Microsoft, Twitter and YouTube team to ID terror content

malle-herbert
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I'm afraid...

This will work just as well as a complete ban on child-pornography...

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Apple blames air for iPhone 6S's narcolepsy

malle-herbert
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Re: Something to buy for

You mean by getting people to pay them $149 bucks to fix an issue with the Iphone 6 touch-IC of which THEY KNOW it's a factory defect but won't acknowledge it ?

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Windows 10 market share growth just barely has a pulse

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Re : Windows10? What is it?

It's an operating system created by Microsoft that spies on you and tries to monetize your private information...

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Whiffy kitchen after last night's chips? Clear the air with SPACE PLASMA

malle-herbert
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Re: The noise

If it sounds like the plasma gun from Doom...OK I could understand... but how much noise does a plasma discharge really make ?

Plus... what exactly happens to these "odour molecules" ?

Are they all ripped apart into carbon-dioxide and water or is there a chance that there might be formation of (possible) carcinogenic compounds ?

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Jeremy Hunt: Telcos must block teens from sexting each other

malle-herbert
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Childcatcher

Won't someone think of the children !

So we can continue justifying our snooping efforts...

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UK National Lottery data breach: Fingers crossed – it might not be you

malle-herbert
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Joke

Jackpot !

See title...

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The Internet Society is unhappy about security – pretty much all of it

malle-herbert
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Re: Security is rubbish

And it will stay rubbish until there's a monetary incentive to do something about it...

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EU puts out prescription for smart hospitals

malle-herbert
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I smell an Internet of Lawsuits...

Once all that crap gets hacked and people start dying because of it...

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Microsoft’s ‘Home Hub’ probably isn’t even hardware at all

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Just what I need !

Yet another thing spying on me in the comfort of my own home...

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Space crap: Flap, zap or strap? $30k from NASA for your pooper scooper

malle-herbert
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Joke

Just put a cork in it...

See title...

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Demo may have frozen, but narrowband IoT stew is still piping hot

malle-herbert
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" the technology is primarily there to make money for network operators."

That's the best description of IoT I have read so far...

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Big Music goes mad for chat bots and AI

malle-herbert
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"The report does caution that the bots may not be very intelligent."

Neither are the artists... if they actually fall for all this marketing crap....

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We're great, you don't understand competition law, Google tells Europe

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Do no evil...

Unless we do it...

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Adblock overlord to Zuckerberg: Lay down your weapons and surrender

malle-herbert
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FAIL

Ads are a waste of time and money anyway...

Mine and theirs...

Why would I buy something from someone that annoys me, slows down my computer, eats away at my bandwith AND possibly infects my computer with virusses and spyware ?

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Windows 10 market share stalls after free upgrade offer ends

malle-herbert
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Mushroom

As long as Win10 continues to be a piece of spyware...

I won't let it anywhere near my pc or laptop...

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Divide the internet into compartments to save us from the IoT fail whale

malle-herbert
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Or you could just...

Oh I dunno.... make those crappy IoT things less easy to hack ?

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Password1? You're so random. By which we mean not random at all - UK.gov

malle-herbert
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Joke

Okay... let me be the first to post this :

Password Strength...

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LASER RAT FENCE wins €1.7m European Commission funds

malle-herbert
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I hope the thing only points downwards...

In case it mistakes an airplane for a large bird...

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AI lawyer: I know how you ruled next summer

malle-herbert
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"We don't see AI replacing judges or lawyers"

Yeah, just in case someone rich, important or famous does something stupid and wouldn't be able to get away with it anymore...

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'Doubly unacceptable' Swiss vegan forces his way into the army

malle-herbert
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Trollface

In the words of the late (and great) Bill Hicks...

Anyone DUMB ENOUGH to want to BE in the military... should be allowed in....

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Store flaw? Naw! The hyper-converged vendor and the 'bug'-bash

malle-herbert
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So it's all just a matter of...

He said... she said...

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Social media flame wars to be illegal, says top Crown prosecutor

malle-herbert
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Re : As ever, age is fair game for discrimination. Kids!!

And religion shouldn't even be on that f*cking list...

It's not as if people are born with a cross around their neck...

Religion is a choice YOU make...

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Stickers emerge as EU's weapon against dud IoT security

malle-herbert
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Joke

Botnet ready...

Why not slap a sticker on every IoT device with the text : 'Botnet ready' ?

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Devs! Here's how to secure your IoT network, in, uh, 75 easy pages

malle-herbert
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Security costs money...

So... fat chance of that ever happening...

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German cops, mobe malware

malle-herbert
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I wish...

We also had vays to make it shut up !

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Sudden explosion in reports of exploding phones

malle-herbert
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Joke

Okay... let me be the first to ask...

Were they holding it wrong ?

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Blighty's telly, radio watchdog Ofcom does a swear

malle-herbert
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Smeg...

See title...

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Microsoft preps defence against the dark arts for enterprise customers

malle-herbert
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So they got themselves a sandbox...

Inside a sandbox... inside another sandbox... inside another sandbox...

Repeat ad nauseam....

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Natwest online payments go down

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Aaaahhhhh...

Outsourcing at it's finest...

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Double-negative tweet could be Microsoft Surface Phone hint

malle-herbert
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Speaking in Tech: Windows is coming to smart refrigerators

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Re: WHY

Money...

Selling your personal information to advertisers is not enough... now they want to know the contents of your fridge too !

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Exploding Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phablets recalled immediately

malle-herbert
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Well...

It's not like this is the first galaxy that started with a big bang...

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Robot cars probably won't happen, sniffs US transport chief

malle-herbert
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Re: Code could make "moral decisions" based on flag.

And who sets the flag ?

The douchebag driver who allways thinks he's the most important ?

Or will it be set by the government according to whom the car is sold to ?

That way all those politician's, CEO's, lawyers and other people who belong on the B-Ark will surely have a better chance of survival...

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OneLogin breached, hacker finds cleartext credential notepads

malle-herbert
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Joke

And that's why...

I allways keep my passwords safely stored on a post-it note attached to my monitor...

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Height of stupidity: Heathrow airliner buzzed by drone at 7,000ft

malle-herbert
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Re: Sorry, but . . .

Why not shoot it with some kind of potato gun filled with extremely sticky, colored stuff ?

It would stop the propellers from spinning and if you use the same ink that they use for money cartridges they can't get the color off, making identification of the perp easier...

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Pump-priming the new ampere: NIST works to count electrons in silicon

malle-herbert
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Re: won't there be some quantum uncertainty to reintroduce inaccuracy?

Yes, that's why they run multiple pumps in parallel...

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WhatsApp is to hand your phone number to Facebook

malle-herbert
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Re: FUCK OFF

And DIE maybe ?

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Das ist empörend: Microsoft slams umlaut for email depth charge

malle-herbert
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Re: Please!

More like "fick dich"...

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Beauty site lets anyone read customers' personal information

malle-herbert
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FAIL

Email address only ?

No password ? And they're not planning on doing ANYTHING about it ? ------------>

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Twitter suspends 235,000 'violent extremism' accounts

malle-herbert
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so...

They shut down Donald Trumps Twitter account ?

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Snowden says Russia ‘probably responsible’ for NSA hack

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Or suffer from a very acute case of Polonium poisoning...

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McDonald's launches wearable then pulls it after kid feels the burn

malle-herbert
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"Step-It" ?

More like FatBit...

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Windows 10 needs proper privacy portal, says EFF

malle-herbert
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Re: Paid option

The problem is that even if you DO pay you're still going to see ads and crap because it's an extra source of income, so companies WILL try to monetize this revenue stream for the benefit of their shareholders...

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Google hopes to sniff out OS X badware

malle-herbert
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Trollface

And here's me thinking...

Mac's didn't get virusses ?

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Ancient radioactive tree rings could rip up the history books

malle-herbert
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Does it really matter ?

Since according to some people the earth is only 6000 years old anyway !

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Ad-blocking ‘plateaus’, claims hopeful ad industry

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Of course IAB is saying that only 1 in 5 users use an AdBlocker...

Wouldn't want companies to stop spending money on online ads now do we ?

(And they probably never heard of a .hosts file either...)

Using countermeasures against ad-infected websites is as normal these days as having a decent virusscanner.

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Some Windows 10 Anniversary Update: SSD freeze

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Is it still called Software As A Service...

When your computer continously gets "Sh*tcanned As A Service" ?

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Baffled Scots cops call in priest to deal with unruly spirits

malle-herbert
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Joke

Just don't...

Tell 'em about the twinkie...

And if someone asks you if you're a god... you say yes...

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