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* Posts by malle-herbert

231 posts • joined 1 Jul 2013

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Wall Street woes: Oh noes, tech titans aren't using bankers

malle-herbert
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Just...

Put them all on a Richard Branson designed B-ARK and be done with it allready !

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MPs to gaze upon biometric data industry's ID-gobbling tech

malle-herbert
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Re: Did I miss anything?

5) Anyone who fails to comply with orders to give up their biometric data to the government or their spooks will be sent to special re-education camps.

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WinPhone's Halo hottie Cortana to hit desktop in next Windows – report

malle-herbert
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Just like clippy...

This biatch will be one of the first things that is going to be turned OFF !

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Bath boffins put BUGS on chips – on purpose

malle-herbert
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What if ?

What if some hazardous chemicals in the water damage the bacteria's DNA

causing it to divide and grow uncontrollably ?

(cancer on a chip... that's what... and of course a whole new idea for a movie !)

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China cracks down on instant messengers: Users must hand over REAL NAMES

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"slander and rumours"

Ah yes... I heard this "rumour" about something that has happened

at this place called "tiananmen square"...

But of course this must all just be "slander" to the Chinese government...

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EMC boots Egnyte from partner list after SHOCK software claims

malle-herbert
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As the old saying goes :

Never bite the hand that feeds you !

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UK.gov eyes up virtual currencies, fingers red tape dispenser

malle-herbert
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Re: Offers?

Better start burning down all those pesky forests right now to combat inflation !

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It's WAR: Internet of Stuff firms butt heads over talking-fridge tech standards

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Re: what is the point of this nonsense that I am failing to see?

Companies making money off of advertising perhaps ?

Selling all this juicy private data they've collected to the highest bidder maybe ?

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Microsoft: IE11 for Windows Phone 8.1 is TOO GOOD. So we'll cripple it like Safari

malle-herbert
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Why not just get rid of the user_agent string alltogether ?

And let the platform and browser decide how and what to render instead of a

webserver deciding what page to cough up ?

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Fiendishly complex password app extension ships for iOS 8

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Re: keys to my castle(s)

Well... AgileBits are a Canadian company...

I'd rather trust them instead of ANY American company !

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Bitcoin on ATM? Pfft! We play DOOM on ours

malle-herbert
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WTF?

Why is it...

That nowhere in the entire article credit is given to the actual maker of the video?

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Sysadmin Day 2014: Quick, there's still time to get the beers in

malle-herbert
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Joke
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NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'

malle-herbert
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FAIL

Re: "Has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge?"

I love that question...

If it was without my knowledge then HOW THE F*CK WOULD I KNOW ???

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Games industry set for $5 BILLION haircut, warn beancounters

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: 'Another day, another 'analyst' pulling figures out of their ass'

Well, you can't spell 'analyst' without the word 'anal'...

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Orange spent weekend spamming customers with TXTs

malle-herbert
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Mushroom

Re: Adding insult to injury

Naaahhhh... nuke 'em from orbit... it's the only way to be sure !

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MYSTERIOUS Siberia CRATER: ALIENS or METEOR not involved, officials insist

malle-herbert
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Joke

I'm surprised...

Nobody mentioned Torchwood yet...

//Looks like it's drilled by a laser...

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When the robot rebellion comes, this Jibo droid will BORE you to death

malle-herbert
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Forget the mobile patent wars – these web giants have patented your DATA CENTER

malle-herbert
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Re: Polonium sushi is too good for them.

And most of it isn't exactly "Intellectual" either...

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The final score: Gramophones 1 – Glassholes 0

malle-herbert
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Re: Do we need

Maybe t-shirts or badges with specially crafted QR-codes sending them

to websites full of nasty virusses might do the trick !

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Think Google Glass is creepy? Wait until it READS YOUR MIND

malle-herbert
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Joke

Why not put a blue LED on the front ?

Makes you look more like a Dalek...

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Google spares founders from TERMINATORS, but not Eric Schmidt

malle-herbert
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Joke

"what does that make Eric Schmidt?"

Probably that stupid psychiatrist...

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Use Tor or 'extremist' Tails Linux? Congrats, you're on an NSA list

malle-herbert
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"and anyone else interested in online privacy"

So reading this article automatically puts you on the list ?

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Virgin Media struck dumb by NATIONWIDE DNS outage

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: have you tried switching it off and on again ?

Have you tried sticking it up your arse ?

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BBC offers briefest of teasers for the next Doctor Who

malle-herbert
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Looks like...

Looks like the new season will feature a new TARDIS desktop...

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Shrew'd boffins spot TINY ELEPHANT species

malle-herbert
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Re: No picture?

Okay...

Here's a picture of the mighty beast...

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BT at last coughs to 'major outage' after broadband went titsup across UK on Sat

malle-herbert
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Re: A human right - or no hope for mankind?

Every time internet went down at my last job my boss always said that :

"internet isn't a 'right' it's a privilege..."

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malle-herbert
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"I KNOW HOW THE INTERNET WORKS"

Yeah... the customer is always WRONG !

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Today in IT news: iPad Fleshlight a reality

malle-herbert
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What's next ?

iDildo ?

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Black hole three-way: Supermassive trio are 'rippling' space

malle-herbert
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Re: "How can one black hole split into two?"

It didn't... it just looked like one hole... but there where actually two of them...

We just couldn't see because they where so close together...

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malle-herbert
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Joke

Three black holes packed tightly together...

I just know there's a "your mom" joke in there somewhere...

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Bitcoin is MONEY, says Canada

malle-herbert
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Re: Here comes the taxman!

Yeah... but how much money do you owe them exactly ?

Since the value of Bitcoins can fluctuate wildly there has to be a

way to determine this "value" as a certain amount of "regular money"...

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Snowden defends mega spy blab: 'Public affairs have to be known by the public'

malle-herbert
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"and deserves to live his life freely."

Of course he does... but don't hold your breath...

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Fearful of the drone-filled skies? Get some protection

malle-herbert
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Re: Try this then

Somehow I don't think the authorities will be too happy with people

installing these on their rooftops !

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malle-herbert
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This isn't PROtection... it's just DEtection...

So some drone-wielding perv can still take pictures of your kids playing

in the swimmingpool or your (topless) sunbathing wife...

Just combine the damn thing with a signal jammer so that every drone

that comes near your house just drops out of the sky...

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Cisco okayed for UK government comms

malle-herbert
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Black Helicopters

And a few days after these things are installed...

They will probably recieve some mysterious ' firmware update '...

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Hackers steal trade secrets from major US hedge firm

malle-herbert
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Joke

What we really need...

Is a 'tiny violin' icon...

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9 Dark Social Truths That Will Totally Blow Your Bowels!

malle-herbert
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[Isn't that "Belfies"? - Ed]

No... it's "Bumfies"...

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Microsoft: NSA security fallout 'getting worse' ... 'not blowing over'

malle-herbert
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Re: "You can have any kind of information security you like so long as it is crap."

Well no... You CAN have good security AND privacy, just not with any

American cloud providers...

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Apple SOLDERS memory into new 'budget' iMac

malle-herbert
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Your soldering iron won't do you much good with all

those multi-layer circuit boards these days...

And finding the data-sheets for some of these custom chips (cr)apple

uses is also a nightmare...

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Internet of Things fridges? Pfft. So how does my milk carton know when it's empty?

malle-herbert
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Well... let's see...

A "smart" fridge could use some kind of system with multiple camera's

that will do image recognition to identify objects placed in the fridge.

Objects that have a barcode can be automatically scanned and the

expiration date could be scanned as well.

For liquids you could use sensors that detect the weight of the container

so that when you take it out of the fridge and put it back in, the difference

in weight can be calculated.

(This could also work for non-liquids in some kind of a container...)

For other foodstuffs the fridge could simply aks the user what it is and

what it's expiration date is through some kind of touch screen interface.

(Displaying the item on the screen and asking the user for a desciption...)

And of course the system could learn from all of this by adding the unknown

foodstuffs to a database so you don't have to do it again and again...

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ISIS: Iraq KILLS the INTERNET: VPNs, social media and chat apps blocked by government

malle-herbert
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Damned if you do...

Damned if you don't...

Can't help but feel sorry for these people...

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Missiles-on-rooftops Brit spy Farr: UK gov can slurp your Facebook, Twitter ... What of it?

malle-herbert
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Why don't they just...

Why don't they just classify everything outside of GCHQ headquarters as 'external'

and be done with it...

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Huawei WILL make a comeback to US market, policy wonk predicts

malle-herbert
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Trollface

US government will eventually cave in and roll out the red carpet to the Chinese...

Of course they will... since China pratically owns half the US...

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The cute things they say

malle-herbert
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Here's a whole bunch of em...

Computer Stupidities

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Shiny happy people holding DIMMs: Plus Facebook's data centres are going all-flash

malle-herbert
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Damn...

Thank you ! Thank you very much !

Now I have that stupid song stuck in my head for the rest of the day !

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Japan's DOCOMO suggests wearable SIM cards

malle-herbert
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FAIL

Great...

Yet another way to give everybody a unique identifier that of course

would never be abused...

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Sealed with an XSS: I gave TweetDeck a heart attack, says teen comp sci boff Firo

malle-herbert
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Re: "Let's see what time brings us."

Jail time...

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We're ALL Winston Smith now - and our common enemy is the Big Brother State

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: "self-selecting audience"

Sounds great !

Makes it a lot easier to identify the morons...

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malle-herbert
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Mushroom

Re: Industry opt outs .....

Had the same thing with an online shop that wanted me to sign in

with a FaceCrook account before I could place an order...

F*ck em ! I'll just take my bussiness elsewhere...

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malle-herbert
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Re: "The product of Freedom and Security is a constant"

No it isn't...

Not as long as there is another factor called money(M) involved in the equasion...

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