* Posts by hi_robb

234 posts • joined 7 Jul 2007

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NASA: 'Closest thing yet to ANOTHER EARTH' - FOUND

hi_robb

May I be the first...

To welcome our new Kepler 452b dwelling overlords.

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Ideal solar system for SECOND EARTH found – and it's just 186 light-years away

hi_robb

May I be the first

To welcome our new near HIP 11915 dwelling overlords.

D

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Facebook vows to blow EVEN HARDER

hi_robb

Erm...

Wind powered data centres, they have their fans....

D

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Silly Google's Photos app labelled BLACK PEOPLE as GORILLAS

hi_robb

Google photos has a bug?

Well I'll be a monkey's uncle...

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Sharing Economy latest: Women's BREAST MILK is the new 'liquid GOLD' of the internet

hi_robb

Bad business idea this...

It's bound to go tits-up.

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INTERNET of BOOBS: Scorching French lass reveals networked bikini

hi_robb

hmm

Did someone say there was bikinis in that vid?

I never noticed them....

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Apple recalls Beats speakers: Rap chap's crap batt rapped in zap mishap flap

hi_robb

Hmm

Beats, listen to 'hot' music tracks...

Well, I say listen, I mean completely ruin them by hearing them how they were not intended to sound.

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NASA picks tools for voyage to possibly LIFE-SUPPORTING moon Europa

hi_robb

May I....

Just be the first to welcome our new Moist Queen dwelling overlords.

D

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Twitter CRAWLS to Google ON ITS KNEES, starts blowing content

hi_robb

Re: Twitter-geddon

Can we have some added bonus of it melting down Justin Beaver?

D

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Online pizza order saves woman and children from knife-wielding kidnapper

hi_robb

Silly woman

She shouldn't have said she wanted topping...

/Gets coat

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Sorry, Windows 10 early adopters: Microsoft Edge WON'T block ads at launch

hi_robb

I guess...

We'll just have to ad our own...

/gets dragged stage left

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Round Two in Sky vs Skype trademark scrap goes to Murdoch's men

hi_robb

Sky

A bunch of moronnic fuckwits. I hope one of the Astra birds comes crashing down on Rupert Murdoch Smithers and helps us forget he existed.

And no I don't work for Skype, I just aint a fan of Murdoch the megalomaniac fuckwit.

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iPhone case uses phone's OWN SIGNAL to charge it (forever, presumably)

hi_robb

Erm

I'll bet they'll ask for a fortune for this, when IMHO there should be no charge...

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Is Grant Shapps being naughty on Wikipedia – or did a Lib Dem stitch him up?

hi_robb

Grant Shapps

Is innocent.

/edited by Grant Shapps.

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Ryanair stung after $5m Shanghai'd from online fuel account

hi_robb

I'm betting

the bank was no where near China, that's just where they're telling us it went...

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Strange alien-like life zones found beneath Antarctic glacier

hi_robb

Erm

May I just be the first to welcome our strange Antarctic Dwelling Alien Overlords.

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Apple Watch HATES tattoos: Inky pink sinks rinky-dink sensor

hi_robb

Don't forget

to say please to Apple when you ask them to fix the issue.

And Ta to...

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Hawking hologram comforts One Direction fans with Zayny parallel universe claim

hi_robb

Hmm

The last time the wife asked me to buy her a One Direction ticket I promptly did...

To Australia.

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The Apple Watch: THROBBING STRAP-ON with a knurled knob

hi_robb

Finally...

El-Reg put their review up.

It's about time....

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Fed-up Colorado man takes 9mm PISTOL to vexing Dell PC

hi_robb

Excellent presentation

Exceptional use of bulletpoints..

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High on bath salts, alleged Norse god attempts tree love

hi_robb

I'm guessing...

He thought the tree was Lush...

/Gets coat

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iPhone vs. Galaxy fight hospitalises two after beer bottle stabbing

hi_robb

Hmm..

Covered in cuts and looking for a local hospital?

There's an app for that...

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Bloke hits armadillo AND mother-in-law with single 9mm round

hi_robb

now Resgister...

Are you sure it ricocheted off a armadillo and not a armoured dildo?

/Gets coat

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Daddy Dyson keeps it in the family and hoovers up son’s energy biz

hi_robb

Just a word of warning!

The dyson ball cleaner shouldn't be used as it's name suggests...

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ALIENS ARE COMING: Chief NASA boffin in shock warning

hi_robb

May I bethe first

To welcome our Ganymede and Europa dwelling new overlords.

D

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Blighty's 12-sided quid to feature schoolboy's posterior

hi_robb

Erm.

I'll tell you what, the Queen's put on a few pounds....

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Watching porn makes men BETTER in bed, say trick-cyclists

hi_robb

So...

Which wankers came up with this study...

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How does a global corporation switch to IP Voice?

hi_robb

Re: Interception law

Not quite true,

It's not banned, you're just not allowed to encrypt traffic. Most if not all vendors now have settings for justthis sot of thing. Likewise there are certain places where encryption has to be enabled (GOV for example).

If deploying CISCO you have to be careful with that one as during install it asks about it and if you pick the wrong one, you're fecked further down the line and it's a nuke / start the install again.

D

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Google's 'encrypted-by-default' Android is NOT encrypting by default

hi_robb

Re: Sod the encryption.

Ah thanks,

I didn't recognise her as here in the UK she's called Katy Lambrini....

/gets coat

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hi_robb

Sod the encryption.

Who;s the lovely lady standing behind the lollipop in the article pic?

D

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Ikea to start making electrified furniture. What could possibly go wrong?

hi_robb

Sounds good...

But I bet they'll charge for it...

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BOFFINS: Oxygen-free, methane-based ALIENS may EXIST on icy SATURN moon Titan

hi_robb

Re: @hi_robb

Thanks kindly Sir. And I know exactly what you mean about the comment. In ye days of old there would have a race to be the first person to say it.

El-Reg is full of young whippersnappers now!

D

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hi_robb

May I be the first

To welcome our new Oxygen-free, methane-based overlords.

D

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You'll NEVER guess who has bought I Taught Taylor Swift How To Give Head dot-com

hi_robb

Err.

Thanks for the heads...

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$10,000 Ethernet cable promises BONKERS MP3 audio experience

hi_robb

Feck me it's...

Schrödinger's cable!

You'll never be sure if it sounds any better than the cheap one it replaced until you look at how much you've spent on it!

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Icelandic brewers knock up whale 'nad beer

hi_robb

Hmmm

Please tell me that the brewery has a pub attached called...

"The Prince Of Whales"

/get coats

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GOD particle MAY NOT BE GOD particle: Scientists in shock claim

hi_robb

Oh no.

This will cause mass panic amongst scientists.

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Virgin Media CUTS OFF weekend 'net surfers after embarrassing smut-filtering snafu

hi_robb

Hmmm

the people complaining about this are wankers...

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Hackers plunder Hilton 'HHonors' rewards points, go on shopping spree

hi_robb

Hmm

It would seem there's Honour among thieves..

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Trolls pop malformed heads above bridge to sling abuse at Tim Cook

hi_robb

Ironic

The trolls getting outraged about fucking arseholes when they're quite clearly fucking arseholes...

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Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth

hi_robb

Well...

I'll bet it tastes excellent, very light...

/Gets dragged off stage left.

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Even a broken watch is right twice a day: Not an un-charged Apple Watch

hi_robb

Hmmm

"I need to charge my iWatch every day!"

Is that a wind up?

"No it's got a battery,.."

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ICO to fine UNBIDDEN MARKETEERS who cause 'ANXIETY'

hi_robb

Good

Let's hope they do use their teeth to hit these spamming cuntflap fuckwits where it hurts.

Their pockets.

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Voyager 1 now EIGHTEEN LIGHT HOURS from home

hi_robb

Something which makes me sad.

Voyager has taken 37 years to travel it's 18 light hours so far. So by quick head calculations, to travel it's full 1 light day distance is going to take another 12 (+ a few months) years. So It's not going to be able to broadcast it's done that light day before it's systems shutdown :-(

D

Note: Somehow I think I've got my maths very wrong, but I've now been working since Saturday with no sleep so excuse my school boy errors.

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Scientists skeptical of Lockheed Martin's truck-sized FUSION reactor breakthrough boast

hi_robb

Now the serious comment.

the last comment was obviously a joke, before anyone takes offence.

Being that it came from Lockheed's Skunk works who are one of the most respected engineering design and problem solving teams in the world, this announcement should be treated with a bit less scepticism as the cold fusion one made by one man some time ago.

Anyone interested in this should have a look at the wiki page which has a little bit more info (not much) on it and it's designer.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_beta_fusion_reactor

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hi_robb

I've said it once and I'll say it again...

Sounds like con fusion to me.

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New Scottish Apple Store appears, then VANISHES off map app

hi_robb
Joke

I wonder if they'll have a new product range for the Jocks!

The aye-Phone, aye-Pad and aye-Pod...

/gets coat (because Scotland is cold)

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4chan outraged by Emma Watson nudie photo leak SCAM

hi_robb

Well.

If you're waiting for some hacking group to release naked pics of Emma Watson, you're obviously a wanker.

D

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'Kim Kardashian snaps naked selfies with a BLACKBERRY'. *Twitterati gasps*

hi_robb

I'm disappointed

There wasn't one picture of Kim Kardashian's tit in those leaked images!

Or Kayne as she likes to call him...

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Leak of '5 MEELLLION Gmail passwords' creates security flap

hi_robb

Interesting

I had a text from Google last week to say someone had tried to log in to my account and they'd stopped it as it looked suspicious. I Had to change the password.

I wonder if this is the reason?

D

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