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* Posts by The Man Himself

95 posts • joined 18 Jun 2013

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Beer in SPAAAACE! London Pride soars to 28,000m

The Man Himself
Stop

Legonaut!?!?

I hope that your trusty Playmonaut is now demanding unionisation?

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'iPhone 6' survives FRENZIED STABBING. Truly, it is the JESUS Phone

The Man Himself

Toughened Glass

"It is an extremely high quality material and really durable. It's paper thin - like literally the same thickness as a piece of paper - and totally see-through. I would say zero per cent opacity,"

So...toughened glass is both (a) tough, (b) transparent (sapphire glass has been around for years and years) but because it's associated with an Apple product he feels the need to get all tumescent about it.

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The Man Himself
Devil

Assault Rifle

"We bet many long-time Reg readers would love know what happens when sapphire glass comes face to face with a American assault rifle."

I was thinking more of a fanboi-meets-assault-rifle scenario, but your idea is good too

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Google buys shagadelic playlist biz Songza

The Man Himself

RE: I ain't Spartacus

"I wonder what's on their playlist for 'having a poo'?"

Justin Bieber?

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You need a list of specific unknowns we may encounter? Huh?

The Man Himself
Devil

Back in my past

I remember when I was working at a place where temp contracted labour such as myself definitely had second-class citizen status...and I also remember the moment when I realised that contracted labour such as myself wasn't constrained in the same way as staffers.

Annoying boss: We're busy doing staffy things - go and make tea

Me: OK. [Exit stage left ]

< some time later >

Me: [Enter stage left, bearing tea] Tea's up

Annoying boss: <Splutter> Yuk! You've put loads of sugar in this

Me: I used my initiative - you look kind of overweight, so I assumed you'd want a few spoonfuls in there.

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David Cameron wants mobe network roaming INSIDE the UK

The Man Himself
Boffin

Re: Nightmare

This has already happened - O2 and Vodafone formed Cornerstone to give them a single network

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Ministry of Justice IT bods to strike over outsourcing fears

The Man Himself

but also...

What have gov.co.uk ever done in-house that went well?

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Internet of Things fridges? Pfft. So how does my milk carton know when it's empty?

The Man Himself

throwing away

Sorry if I've missed the logic here, but if I've thrown something away, why would I want another.

If I've tried the lastet new-and-improved food product, hated the taste and thrown it in the bin, I'd be a bit miffed if Gricery Fairy took it upon itself to get me another in the next load of shopping

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The Man Himself
Boffin

Re: The Answer Is Under Our Noses

There was an interesting video on the VSauce channel on YouTube a while ago which briefly discussed supermarkets' analysis of buying patterns. It went something along the lines of....

Guy gets his monthly pack of discount vouchers from the store, and this time around it includes coupons for things like nappies (diapers, for our transatlantic chums) for no apparent reason.

It then transpired that there'd been purchases against that store loyalty card for things like unperfumed soap (instead of the normal scented variety) and a few other things. The big number crunching computer at the supermarket recognised that as a trend common to newly-expectant mothers, and so assumed that it was time to start offering them attractively-priced baby goods.

Then his teenage daughter had to 'fess up that she was in Le Club de Pudding.

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REVEALED: GCHQ's BEYOND TOP SECRET Middle Eastern INTERNET SPY BASE

The Man Himself
Coat

Oh, the irony

I can't help but smile at the irony of BT being referred to as REMEDY....in my experience they have always been the cause of problems, never the remedy

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Sacre BLEURGH: Google thinks London's Victoria station is on the PARIS Metro

The Man Himself
Coat

Re: Re Up North

True story...I once worked with someone who spent a few minutes having a small rant about Van Morrison on account of his name - "Van" isn't a proper name they argued. That person's name? Laurie

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Rubber-glove time: Italy to probe TripAdvisor over 'fake reviews'

The Man Himself
Boffin

Patterns

You do see some fairly obvious patterns sometimes though, such as the Hotel-Owner-Sock-Puppet-Defence pattern:

Reviewer with many reviews to their name: "This place is rubbish"

Reviewer with only 1 review to their name: "This place is great"

Another reviewer with many reviews to their name: "We hated this place"

Another reviewer with only 1 review to their name: "We loved it"

Further reviewer with many reviews to their name: "Go back? Over my dead body"

Another reviewer with only 1 review to their name: "Can't wait to go back"

etc., etc., etc....

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Tennessee bloke cuffed for attempting to shag ATM – police

The Man Himself
Coat

Re: Here is hoping...

"They cleaned the ATM afterwards!!"

And risk a money laundering charge?

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Norwegians trial Oculus Rift in tanks: The ultimate battlefield simulator

The Man Himself
Boffin

"The cameras on the vehicle cost about $2,000, Odden said, whereas military cameras would set the army back $100,000"

in other words, the camera kit is rugged enough to be able to describe it a such in marketing literature, but likely to fail or fall to bits when subjected to the rigors of the battlefield

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Yosemite National Park bans drones

The Man Himself

What's the difference...

...between a "drone" and a plain old remote control aircraft?

(just asking)

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What HAS BEEN SEEN? OMG it's a thing that looks like an iWatch

The Man Himself
Boffin

Re: Why are we getting worked up about this?

Maybe patents should be a bit like planning permission - once granted, you need to do something with it, or else it lapses. That opens up the way from someone else to then do something to take the concept forward *within a reasonable timeframe* rather than the current position which seems more like "I've patented it and won't do anything with it, and you can't do anything about it"

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95 floors in 43 SECONDS: Hitachi's new ultra-high-speed lift

The Man Himself
Headmaster

"Hitachi said the new lift will elevate people-carrying technology to ever greater heights."

It sounds more like elevating to similar heights, just getting there a bit quicker

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New Reg mobile site - feedback here!

The Man Himself

mobile vs desktop

Personally I use the mobile site from my desktop, as I'm fed up with the flashy advert heavy content on the desktop site dragging my machine's performance down...is the move in the new mobile site towards more adverts? I hope not, as it could take me back to square one

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Fancy joining Reg hack on quid-a-day challenge?

The Man Himself

Re: Tesco.

I've been in my local Tesco late in the evening when they put the stuff out on the reduced shelves. Loads of people hovering suddenly turned and pounced on the poor lackey trying to load the shelves from his cart. It reminded me of the sort of thing you see in movies when someone chucks some live bait into a pool full of piranhas

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Lost your credit card PIN? No worries! Get a new one - over SMS

The Man Himself
Headmaster

txt spEk

As your first paragraph ably demonstrates, with the proliferation of txt speak, pretty much every SMS I get these days appears to be encrypted. Couple that with a predictive text faux pas here and there, and the content is as unreadable as anything that's been through a military grade encryption system.

Yes, I am an old fart.....and proud of it....

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Adrian Mole author Sue Townsend dies at 68

The Man Himself

More than Mole

Reading this obit (and others today) you'd be forgiven for thinking that Adrian Mole had died, rather than his creator. Yes, the Adrian Mole books are the most well-known books by Sue Townsend, but she wrote more than just those...yet the non-Mole stuff hardly seems to get a mention. Take "The Queen and I"...superb story but, like the rest of her output, it's going un-noted

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Apple to flush '£37bn' down the bog if it doesn't flog cheapo slabtops

The Man Himself
Coat

Re: in this context creosote

There's a thin line between misunderstanding and parody....a line that is only waffer thin

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ROBO-SNOWDEN: Iraq, the internet – two places the US govt invaded that weren't a threat

The Man Himself
Boffin

value of intellectual property

" The project, called BULLRUN by the NSA and EDGEHILL by the British spies at GCHQ (named after the first battle in both countries' respective civil wars) meant that anyone with sufficient resources could crack the encryption and destroy the value of intellectual property"

But this would be a Good Thing wouldn't it? At least it would seem to be, based on the number of comments one reads online from freetards demanding that information be free and saying that hoarding of intellectual property is a Bad Thing.

Not trolling, just asking....

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The browser's resized future in a fragmented www world

The Man Himself
WTF?

browser restrictions

"Apple don't allow other browsers the same access to the rendering engine as Safari has, and lock down their usage so they can't improve their rendering speed much (it's why Firefox wont release an iOS version). This means Safari is the best web browser for iOS out there in terms of both quality of rendering pages and in terms of the speed it does that rendering!"

I hadn't realised Apple were that restrictive. Does that not count as restrictive anti-competitive practise...the sort of thing that gets companies sued?

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Dell charges £16 TO INSTALL FIREFOX on PCs – Mozilla is miffed

The Man Himself

Re: RE: service charge

"But why have you bought a new machine and not spent the time at home previously setting it up, therefore not pi**ing off your client and also not getting charged by Dell for a basic operation?"

I could do. So I have three options.....

Do it "on work time", and p*** off a client

Do it at home instead of working, and lose income

Do it at home, in my own time, and lose personal time / quality of life.

And we could be talking about more than just a 10 minute browser installation - a new machine could require a lot more software to be installed on it.

So personally I'd take the fourth option: pay someone what I consider to be a fair price to do something that frees me up to do something which I consider to be more important.

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The Man Himself

Re: RE: service charge

"If you're a professional who can't find something else to be doing with that multitasking computer you're sat in front of, whilst the Firefox installer does its thing, you shouldn't be getting paid anything, by anyone."

Yeah...cos when you're getting paid contractor rates to sit in a client's office and do the work they're paying you top coin for, there's nothing the client likes more than for you to not work on the job in hand and to p*** about setting up software on your own machine

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The Man Himself
Boffin

RE: service charge

Good point, and pretty much what I was thinking.

The software itself may well be free, but Dell are providing an employee to do the install. That employee requires a wage, and on top of that they have direct financial demands on the employer (employer's NI contribution, pension contribution, etc.) on top of their salary. And they'll require the tools to let them do their job....things like a chair and desk, etc.

Before you say "but they'd have that anyway" remember that if they weren't installing Firefox they'd be doing other work...other work which is currently being done by someone else, who brings with them their own overhead cost.

If your time is sufficiently low-value, then sure you can spend 10 minutes installing Firefox yourself. But if you're a professional, working at professional contract rates, then that 10 minutes of not working/earning could easily cost you in excess of the £16-odd that Dell are asking for.

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Facebook: We want a solar sky cruiser comms net that DARPA couldn't build

The Man Himself
Go

Re: Zuckerberg to the 3rd world..

Prefix that comment title with "Send ", and it starts to sound like an attractive proposition

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Dixons Retail and Carphone Warehouse mull merger

The Man Himself
Coat

Re: merger??

"So with that, who's buying who?"

errrr....I dunno.....I'll have to ask a manager...

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Elon Musk ADMITS he met Apple: iCar 'great idea', keeps schtum on Tesla hookup

The Man Himself

wheels

I assume the iWheels on the iCar will have RoundedCorners©

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Google gives Maps a lick of paint, smears it over screens worldwide

The Man Himself
Boffin

Freetards

To all of those whinging about the new changes and the adverts....get a grip. This is a free service. Do you have any idea how much it costs to source, manage and serve the mapping data, to develop and distribute the app, etc.?

I'm not a Google apologist, just a realist. If I pay for something, and the person I'm paying then screws around with what I've paid for, then I can complain. But if someone gives me something for free, at expense to them, I'm not really in a position to claim that I'm hard done by if they change it in a way I don't like.

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Birds Eye releases 'mashtags' social spud snacks

The Man Himself

as advertised

Bird's Eye potato waffles are waffley versatile

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John McAfee declares war on Android

The Man Himself
Coat

the right man for the job

Device security is important, so I'm glad this is being addressed by someone as sensible and level-headed as....oh, never mind.....

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STRIPPED DOWN and EXPOSED: Business kit from the good old days

The Man Himself
Go

Gasmasks

Three words for you...Gasmask Kazoo Orchestra. (search for it on the Tube of You, and you'll see what I mean)

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Satya Nadella is 'a sheep, a follower' says ex-Microsoft exec

The Man Himself
Stop

Re: “can neither spell CONSUMER nor DEVICE”

"Well if I was going to be picky I'd suggest that whilst users of the English language within the IT sector are possibly FOND of verbing, I wouldn't say they were FOUND of it."

I find the use of "verb" as a verb horribly recursive and jarring...I am not fond of it (or, for that matter, found of it).

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It's Satya! Microsoft VP Nadella named CEO as Bill Gates steps down

The Man Himself
Coat

surprised?

"Ballmer announced his surprise resignation in August 2013."

He mismanaged a once-mighty tech behemoth into a shadow of its former self....I can't say his departure announcement really came as much of a surprise.

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Robots? What a bunch of workers...

The Man Himself
Joke

Re: Alistair Dabbs : Gallic punnery

If only they did high-speed deliveries using Toyota MR2s

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ESA rejoices as comet-chasing Rosetta probe wakes from 3-year nap

The Man Himself
Thumb Up

Mission Brief

I had to read that mission summary 2 or 3 times for the enormity of the task to sink in properly. To do all of that, at those speeds, that far from home....absolutely awesome

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Haribo gummy bears implicated in 'gastric exorcism'

The Man Himself

WBAGNFARB

So many phrases in this article Would Be A Good Name For A Rock Band....

Gastric exorcism

Intestinal distress

Death bears

Colon-shredding rage

etc.

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Tech titan Bill Gates: Polio-free India one of the 'most impressive accomplishments' ever

The Man Himself

Re: Excellent news

"Although, im not sure one of his other main goals, eradicating maleria in Africa is such a good idea, its great for controlling population growth in an environment that can barely sustain the people at the moment, let alone support the million plus that are offed by the pathogen every year."

Interesting thinking. Following that logic, seeing as London seems to be getting a bit over-crowded, maybe it's time to re-introduce cholera to the water supply?

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The Man Himself

Re: Nice to see

Indeed...but sadly people will probably continue to hate him on principle. Which is a shame.

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'Leaked' iPhone 6 pics will make cool fanbois WEEP - it's a PHABLET

The Man Himself

Re: Phablet calling

iProduct placement?

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The Man Himself
Boffin

Re: Phablet calling

I meant "fact" as in I have seen figures based on actual research carried out by professional/specialist research companies, as opposed to some biased personal opinion that I'd just pulled out of my arse

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The Man Himself
Megaphone

Phablet calling

While most of us would feel that we'd look a bit daft holding a phablet-like device to our ear to make a call, I reckon the fanbois will lap this up....another way to draw attention to themselves and the fact that they have the latest iDevice.

[ fact - based on professional experience in this area - the iPhone has the biggest ratio of perceived market presence to actual market presence. Android, BB, etc, users have a "smartphone" and say things like "I need to make a call" or "I'll look that up on my phone".....Apple fanbois have "and iPhone" and say "I'll need to make a call on my iPhone" or "I'll get my iPhone and look that up". Consequently, there's a perception that there are a lot more iPhone users out there than there actually are, just because they keep banging on about the iPhone so much, whereas users of other platforms just get on with it ]

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Ten classic electronic calculators from the 1970s and 1980s

The Man Himself
Boffin

Books

"Until sometime in the early 1980s, when you reached secondary school you were handed a slim book full of numbers during a maths lesson and taught how to use log tables. Sines, cosines, tangents, square roots - they were all in there too"

I remember that lesson well. Towards the end, one of the girls in the class started crying...when asked what was the matter, she replied "I'll never be able to memorise all of these!"

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BT network-level STOCKINGs-n-suspenders KILLER arrives in time for Xmas

The Man Himself
Coat

Re: Don't worry.

"About as much chance as Canute had, I'd say"

In the context of this discussion, the alternative spelling of that king's name might be more appropriate.

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Ghosts of Christmas Past: Ten tech treats from yesteryear

The Man Himself
Boffin

FX-570

Solar power on the FX-570? No, don't think so. Lithium battery only. I've still got mine in my desk drawer - alongside the WHSmith flowchart stencil, both purchased while studying Computer Studies 'O' Level.

Neither really get used in anger any more, but they do get wheeled out when I go into "nostalgic old git" mode.

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iSPY: Apple Stores switch on iBeacon phone sniff spy system

The Man Himself

mmmmm

I mis-read the title as iBacon, and thought that perhaps Apple had finally come up with a product that I might want to buy

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Undercover BBC man exposes Amazon worker drone's daily 11-mile trek

The Man Himself

Re: Is this a story?

"11 miles in a shift? 8 hours? 1.375 miles an hour ~ 40 yards/minute? Is that excessive for stock picking? It's not fun but it's not sprinting"

And how does that compare to someone working on a production line, doing an 8 hour shift sitting in one place and pushing a button every so often while they wait for DVT?

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The ULTIMATE cuppa showdown: And the winner is...

The Man Himself
FAIL

fish & chips

I spy salad. That's just wrong. If you want something green with your fish & chips, get some peas (preferably mushy ones) but lose the leaf-based greenery.

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