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* Posts by Stilted Banter

45 posts • joined 18 Jun 2013

El Reg's contraptions confessional no.2: Tablet PC, CRT screen and more

Stilted Banter
Headmaster

Participle left a-dangling

Despite being around 24 years old I still use the Hantarex every month or so

Old kit definitely has its limitations. I didn't realize the frequency with which one can use it declines in direct relationship with one's age. How often did you use the Hantarex when you were still, say, "around 23 years old"?

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Amazon floats 'Prime Air' drone delivery plan

Stilted Banter
Thumb Up

The only real fulfilment is self-fulfilment

Logical thing is for me to have my own drone, which I can send to pick things up at a time that suits me. I'm sure Amazon will sell me one. I could also use it to pick up and deliver items for neighbours and friends. Amazon could set up a scheme for this and call it "ParcelPartner". For every 1000 successful sorties I would get an Amazon ParcelPartner voucher giving me 0.00002p off my next qualifying order.

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PS4 with Black Friday underway: TOUGH, you CAN'T HAVE ONE!

Stilted Banter

Re: Black Friday?

Was that you sitting on the kerb with the the "Will commentard for food" sign, then?

No, that's you, that is. That's you in your dream job.

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Stilted Banter

Re: Black Friday?

This is why I stopped buying things.

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Stilted Banter
WTF?

Black Friday?

Why the 'Black Friday' reference in the headline? The story is about Britain. We don't have Black Friday in Britain.

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'Best known female architect' angrily defends gigantic vagina

Stilted Banter
Coat

Zaha Hadid is a good architect. But this time she's muffed it.

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Rent a virtual desktop from Amazon: 35 bucks a month (PC not included)

Stilted Banter

Living the dream

"You get to live that dream of centrally managing your desktops"

Strangely enough, when I consider the dreams I would like to live, that isn't one of them.

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Look at how many ways we ruin your life, Redmond boasts

Stilted Banter

There are so many things you can do in a bathroom

19 per cent of people have worked while going to the bathroom

I take it this doesn't actually mean 'going to the bathroom', to shave perhaps, put a towel away, or get another carton of ibuprofen out of the medical cabinet, but is an instance of that US American euphemism for 'going to the toilet'. I have carried out work-related activities while in the bathroom, but have never done so while 'going to the bathroom' US-style.

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FREEZE, GLASSHOLE! California cops bust Google Glass driver

Stilted Banter

Re: @rcorrect

My regular walk to work in narrow Soho streets has frequently been enlivened by (usually white vans) mounting the pavement while hammering the wrong way down one way streets.

Such wrongs, of course, make any number of cyclist-perpetrated wrongs into rights.

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Stilted Banter

Re: @rcorrect

According to the statistics in the UK, as a pedestrian you are 272 times more likely to be killed by a driver than by a cyclist, and even on the pavement 180 times more likely to be killed by a driver than by a cyclist.

Generally I find I can trust drivers to stay off the pavements, obey red lights and traffic signs, and not to drive down streets where they are not permitted. Cyclists cannot be trusted to do these things. I have yet to round a corner and encounter a car being driven at speed along the pavement in the opposite direction, but if it does happen I dare say I will find a new respect for your statistics.

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Stilted Banter

Re: @rcorrect

Wouldn't necessarily go with all that you say there codejunky, but I have to say that as a pedestrian it is the thought of cyclists using these things that really scares me.

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Wikipedia sockpuppetry probe puts a sock in hundreds of accounts

Stilted Banter
Holmes

This undermining of Wikipedia's otherwise high standards must stop

Without all this nonsense it would be a reliable, respectable source of information. Such a tragedy.

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Windows 8.1: Read this BEFORE updating - especially you, IT admins

Stilted Banter

Re: Upgrading?

Too right. They will have to prise Windows 7 from my cold dead hands.

No company which believed that their customers' loyalty had to be earned would behave as Microsoft has done over this Windows 8 debacle.

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Blighty's National Crime Agency nabs first crook ...for £750k cyberscam

Stilted Banter
Thumb Down

Freedom of information

Quotes given in the Independent's story indicate that commercial confidentiality is behind the NCA's decision simply to decide that Freedom of Information doesn't apply to it: 'We’re also going to increasingly rely on the relationship with the private sector. There’s a very real danger that being required to operate in line with freedom of information could fracture some of those relationships'.

I work for a university. Quite a lot of what we do involves 'relationships' with the private sector. Where that's the case and commercial confidentiality is an issue we have a clause covering it written into that particular contract. We certainly don't take the view that because some of our work involves commercial confidentiality we have the right to act as if it all does. Freedom of Information applies to us, and the burden of proof is on us to establish good reasons for it not to apply in specific cases. It should be the same for everybody.

It obviously suits the NCA that we should be left with no way of knowing what it is we're not allowed to know, nor of knowing (or challenging) the basis upon which we are not allowed to know it. The fact that a law enforcement body is talking in this way and seems to take it for granted that it's fine really ought to worry somebody, somewhere.

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Digital 'activists' scramble to build Silk Road 2.0, but drug kingpins are spooked

Stilted Banter

Re: The Spice must flow!

Says an AC, Generally they had a policy that stipulated that items that may harm others were banned. For the last few years a lot of what you listed, they simply didn't sell.

Oh, they had scruples! That's alright then. But I'm not at all clear why we should put any more trust in the good will of Silk Roaders and the like than we do in that of, say, the NSA.

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Explosion predicted in Myanmar's mobe and slab markets - analysts

Stilted Banter
Stop

That name again

Elsewhere in the Reg today are articles which talk about Finland, but do not call it 'Suomi', articles referencing China which do not refer to the place as 'Zhōngguó', reports concerning Germany which do not call it 'Deutschland', and numerous references to South Korea which refrain from calling it 'Daehan Minguk'. Why, then, do you insist on writing about 'Myanmar' instead of 'Burma'?

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Apple: Now that you've updated to iOS 7... YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK

Stilted Banter
Headmaster

Tautology

"reverting back", agh

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Great Britain rebuilt - in Minecraft: Intern reveals 22-BEEELLION block map

Stilted Banter
Coat

A pedant writes...

The process, once commenced, takes about 7 hours on a desktop PC

How long does it take if you don't commence it?

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Peak Apple: Has ANYONE at all ordered a new iPhone 5c?

Stilted Banter
Alert

Re: I've ordered a 5C

(you'll never convince me that either BMW don't fit indicators or that so many stop working 10 minutes after leaving the showroom)

That behaviour isn't limited to BMW drivers, sadly. Heaven knows how these people master their stratospherically-sophisticated phones when they can't even work out what the little lever sticking out of the stearing column is for. BMW drivers may be a particularly virulent instance of the phenomenon, however. It was a man in a BMW who castigated me yesterday for crossing a side street down which he intended to turn. He had given no indication of his intention, obviously expecting me to read his mind (assuming he had one).

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Chap unrolls 'USB condom' to protect against viruses

Stilted Banter

USB condom?

It'll wobble and fall out.

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Zuck off, Zuck: Brit duo's JustDelete.Me nukes clingy web accounts

Stilted Banter
Coat

A great idea. Where's the link to set up a 'justdelete.me' account?

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Peugeot 208 GTi: The original hot hatch makes a comeback

Stilted Banter

'its natural habitat: on t’moors'

As someone whose job takes him back and forth across t'moors every day, and frequently has to put up with the dangerous antics of sad spotty little wankers in hot hatches driving like idiots: thanks for that thought.

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New! Yahoo! logo! shows! Marissa! Meyer's! personal! touch!

Stilted Banter
Facepalm

The Golgafrincham solution

Have felt for some time that Marissa's place on the B-Ark is already booked.

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US court: Dell can't hound debtor with robocalls to her mobile

Stilted Banter

Re: PAY UP!!!

Funny how no one is looking at her and saying, "Why don't you pay up dummy????"

You appear to be complaining that the article pays insufficient attention to apples when it is, in fact, about oranges.

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Hacktivists boast of English Defence League KO after website downed

Stilted Banter
FAIL

Not in my name

Since when did 'anonymous' have the right to decide which political messages I can hear and which I can't? In my view the EDL is racist, thuggish, toxic and repellent in every way, but (so far at least) they are also a legal protest movement in a democratic society. It's not for a bunch of keyboard warriors hiding behind anonymity and rejecting any accountability themselves to act as self-righteous political censors.

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New BT chief gets keys to copper-encrusted door next month

Stilted Banter
Meh

Meet the new boss

...etc etc

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Violent Hamlet 'bard' by British Library Wi-Fi filters

Stilted Banter

Another Twitter triumph

Note that only when the library user went onto Twitter with his problem was anything done about it. Also note that a smiley face at the end of a tweet more than compensates for any amount of inconvenience, cluelessness, incompetence and bureaucratic idiocy.

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Stilted Banter

Well...

So he's sat in the British Library, but trying to access a book on the MIT website, he didn't think about getting off his arse and fetching a real dead tree copy of the book off their shelves

Well ... he's sat at the British Library, at a computer with internet access, and the text of the play is available on the internet (dumb filters permitting). Perhaps he chose not to make a fetish of inconveniencing himself.

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Can't agree on a coding style? Maybe the NEW YORK TIMES can help

Stilted Banter

Re: Clueless in America

Agreed. Just backwards would be fine, but what they do is really dumb.

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Stilted Banter
Headmaster

Clueless in America

All this just proves you should never take advice on style from Americans. These are people who insist on putting punctuation that doesn't belong there inside quotation marks And they write dates backwards. Ludicrous.

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Peter Capaldi named as 12th Doctor Who

Stilted Banter
Thumb Down

BBC PR = news

Actor has new role. Gosh whatever next. Coming to you straight from that section of the BBC News website front page devoted to shameless self-promotion. Just because the BBC think anything to do with Dr Who counts as internationally-important news doesn't mean the rest of us have to go along.

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UK pots 'n' pans outfit Lakeland scalded by hack attack

Stilted Banter

Re: Who's downvoting in here ?

Surely demanding explanations for downvotes is not really the done thing. Comes over as a bit rude, and kind of insecure. A downvoter's downvote is that downvoter's own affair.

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Snowden's XKeyscore revelations challenged

Stilted Banter
FAIL

Re: Which Three-Letter Agency Paid For This Article

Oh, something out there that doesn't fit my worldview. Better insult the source ('right wing bozo') misrepresent the substance ('quibbles about a few points') and accuse the publication of taking kick-backs ('which three-letter agency paid...') and end with a sad little sneer. That'll learn 'em.

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WAR ON PORN: UK flicks switch on 'I am a pervert' web filters

Stilted Banter

Ugh

... profoundly disturbed at the idea of 'a pop-up that paedophiles will laugh at'.

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US Marine Corps misses target, finds and bombs Nemo

Stilted Banter
Black Helicopters

Geowarmageddon

Saturday: US jets drop bombs on the Great Barrier Reef

Sunday: M6.5 earthquake in New Zealand

Coincidence? I think not.

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UK parliament presses for pardon for Alan Turing

Stilted Banter

Re: And the rest ?

There's much in what you say. Alan Turing is in danger of being remade as a secular saint for our times (complete with martyrdom). But while history is complicated, heroes are simple, and they help us feel good about ourselves.

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Fever pitch as Dublin tar drop fall captured by webcam

Stilted Banter
Thumb Up

That reminds me...

...must add All Bran to the shopping list

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Douglas Engelbart, PC pioneer and creator of the mouse, dies at 88

Stilted Banter
Thumb Up

Doug: thanks

Another of the great ones passes away. An innovator and a visionary in the real sense. Doug Engelbart didn't only think about computers, he thought about people.

He is the reason my cat is called Engelbart.

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Brit fantasy artist sues James Cameron over Avatar world

Stilted Banter

Good grief, Roger Dean

I'd forgotten how dreadful his stuff was. Thomas Kinkade with dragons. You'd think he would want to keep his head down.

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Myanmar picks for telecoms jackpot stoke controversy

Stilted Banter
Stop

There's a perfectly good English name for the place

It's Burma. You mention Norway in this article, but choose not to call it 'Norge'.

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Nominet sacks freshly-hired exec implicated in hospital 'cover-up' scandal

Stilted Banter
Thumb Down

Re: Nominet jumps the gun

'I think any sane Board or CEO looking at the current media shitstorm would have made the same choice in those circumstances.'

Well of course, it is absolutely the job of any sane Board or CEO to be utterly craven in the face of whatever the media happens to be in a flap about.

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Stilted Banter
WTF?

Nominet jumps the gun

On the face of it, this smacks of personnel department paranoia. This person has not as yet been through any form of due process, has not been found guilty of anything, has had no chance to put forward her side of the story. Some form of suspension while investigations continue would seem a more reasonable course of action.

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Samsung Galaxy Note 8: Proof the pen is mightier?

Stilted Banter
FAIL

Stylus? Into the dustbin of history!

I've been happily using a stylus-equipped Samsung tablet for months now. It's really relevant and useful for the work I do. But little did I know that putting a stylus on a tablet is AGAINST PROGRESS. I am so sorry to have stood in the way of history. Which way to the re-education camp?

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