* Posts by returnmyjedi

465 posts • joined 26 Mar 2013

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And the prize for LEAST SECURE BROWSER goes to ... Chrome!

returnmyjedi
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Re: half truth statistics coming from Secunia.

You'll have the chaps from Operation Yewtree at your door with that sort of suggestion.

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returnmyjedi
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Re: half truth statistics coming from Secunia.

I had no idea Google rewarded those who report vulnerabilities with a Bounty. I prefer a Twix myself, but hey, chocolate is chocolate.

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Dear departed Internet Explorer, how I will miss you ... NOT

returnmyjedi
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I thought Spartan was a continuation of Redmond's latest bit of frivolity in naming development projects after elements of the Halo universe, following on from Threshold (Win 10) and Cortana (who was lucky to keep her name, rather than Microsoft's usual desire to rename with something far more clunky).

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Apple's portable power podule patent promises paroxysms of fanboi joy

returnmyjedi
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You're exploding it wrong.

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A gold MacBook with just ONE USB port? Apple, you're DRUNK

returnmyjedi
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When viewed in their natural habitat, most Appleoids have two things plugged into their shiny MacBooks: A power cable and their iPhone (presumably to power the latter also). Had they any sense of decency, Ive et al would have plonked a USB pass through on the power connector, or at least on the power supply brick (even Sony used to do that on their later Vaio laptops).

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Thought Apple was kidding about diversity? Here's 50 MEEELLION reasons you're wrong

returnmyjedi
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Can't argue with this, well done Cook & Co. Encouraging a more diverse range of humanoids to work for the company is a far more sensible and (whisper it) fair approach than having diversity quotas, positive discrimination, ir driving around in a pink bus to patronise the very people you're trying to empower.

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Apple Watch: Wait a minute! This puny wrist-puter costs 17 GRAND?!

returnmyjedi
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Re: Medical research?

The array of sensors on the likes of the Microsoft Band would prove far more valuable to medical researchers, however said boffins tend to be a bit magpie like and love shiny things. I can also see the offer of a Fruity Watch to wear during the trial and keep after being used to entice participants into studies.

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returnmyjedi
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Re: cheapo's cable TV?

That's pretty much what I do with Now TV in the UK whenever a new series of GoT starts.

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Apple Watch: HOT WRIST ACTION plus slim $1299 MacBooks - and HBO TV

returnmyjedi
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HBO really are desperate to limit their viewership, aren't they? If they're not jumping into bed with Uncle Rupert and making their content only available on Sky in the UK, now you can only watch HBO on demand via Apple's mediocre box of pretty naff tricks. Sue poib.

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FREAKing hell: ALL Windows versions vulnerable to SSL snoop

returnmyjedi
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Safari and Chrome are affected on OSX so I guess things must be a bit rotten in Fruityworld also.

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Frontier promises it won't 'dumb down' Elite: Dangerous for Xbox

returnmyjedi
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Why there wasn't a 12 Years A Slave movie tie in for Elite is beyond me. I really should be in marketing.

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Apple Pay a haven for 'rampant' credit card fraud, say experts

returnmyjedi
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People are worried because even though you get the money back eventually it can be a right royal pain in the Harris to identify the frauds, get a new card, claim the money back etc. My housemate a few years ago ended up having his credit rating adversely affected by a credit card fraud that cleared out his bank account and resulted in several missed payments. Even though the back refunded him the money after a week or so, it took him a few months to get his credit rating back to normal which was jolly inconvenient at the time as it meant his mortgage application was rejected, he lost the house he wanted and - worse of all - he had to live we me an extra month.

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returnmyjedi
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Re: Yawn...

Yoda?

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'Fry-OS 8' iPhone BLEW UP MY PANTS wails roasted Johnson

returnmyjedi
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Re: It's incredibly rare

"There were a fair number of expanded batteries in both phones and MacBooks, but this was usually down to the battery reaching the end of its useful life."

Doesn't this suggest that handsets shouldn't be designed with sealed in batteries? Or at least integrate some kind of give in the seals or casing of the phone to accommodate this "usual" swelling behaviour.

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Telly behemoths: Does size matter?

returnmyjedi
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We went from a 1970s Grundig to a circa 1992 JVC that not only had Nicam stereo but Fastext also. Twas the age of enlightenment.

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Microsoft man: Internet Explorer had to go because it's garbage

returnmyjedi
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Re: Not A Competing Product, Really

It wouldn't surprise me if this actually happens, considering how eagerly Nadella et al have popped on their armbands and plunged into the suspiciously warm waters of iOS and Android of late.

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NERDGASM as Apple announces 'special event'

returnmyjedi
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I'll wager five chocolate doubloons that they'll be no mention of Watches, maxi iPads or new iMacs, but instead his most convoluted Cookness will in fact relaunch the Pippin.

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'Utterly unusable' MS Word dumped by SciFi author Charles Stross

returnmyjedi
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Re: A plague

Amazon converts any uploaded documents (whether they are .doc, .mobi or .whatever) to html format for publishing on Kindle so Word or the .doc format is not necessary for using the KDP platform.

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How many Watches will Apple flog? 20, er, 18.5, no, five, wait, 50 million!

returnmyjedi
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I didn't think an /s or joke icon would be necessary, how wrong of me.

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returnmyjedi
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Are you suggesting that all I say is not true? They'll be a horde of zealots descending upon your manor forthwith!

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returnmyjedi
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The thing with Apple is they always nail the first gen of product down perfectly. The original iphone worked brilliantly with every feature its competitors had (aside from 3G, a decent battery and a flash but who needs such things!). The iPad 1 was so magical it lasted a whole TWO years before it couldn't cope with new software that is much better than anyone could have ever wanted. And the original iPod's controls were so revolutionary they had yo be replaced with a new model less than a year later.

Anyone who isn't compelled to rush out and buy this superb little trinket I clearly bonkers in the but.

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HOLY SEA SNAILS! Their TEETH are strong enough to build a plane

returnmyjedi
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Re: Not the strongest by far!

The removal of said desiccated cereal is for me the most obvious and useful application for the mollusc's molars.

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Qualcomm bungs ARM's beefy 64-bit A72s into new mobe brains

returnmyjedi
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Eh?

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SCREW YOU, BRITS: We're going through with UK independence ANYWAY – Scotland

returnmyjedi
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Re: Oil

To be fair to the SNP it wasn't as if they were being led by a former oil economist when they came up with that figure, was it? Oh...

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returnmyjedi
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And people say governments waste money on silly vanity projects. Thank goodness Sturgeon et al show budgetary responsibility.

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£100 MILLION poured down drain on failed UK.gov IT projects - in just ONE YEAR

returnmyjedi
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Spiffing. They could build a decent sized and specced district general hospital (and then blow it up again) for that sort of cash.

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Hey Apple - what's the $178bn for? Are you down with OTT?

returnmyjedi
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Re: BBC Death

The licence fee also pays for national and local BBC Radio stations, the loss of which would be far more catastrophic than the loss of BBC telly.

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Apple drives itself round bend: PITIES THE FOOL who inks deal with carmakers – source

returnmyjedi
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Re: Wait, what?

I take every El Reg article and headline with a glass of milk.

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returnmyjedi
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Whilst I have little doubt in the skills and talents of Apple's engineers who are amongst the most talented on this ere bkue marble (antennagate and the eMac being amongst their few missteps) I don't foresee a vehicle crafted by their designers to be somewhere I'd want to spend any time. OSX and iOS resemble a heated battle between a Tipp Ex and Crayola factory, and the Apple Stores and so sterile it's as if all of the furniture and employees are autoclaved on a daily basis.

Furthermore the arrogance of Apple (if the sources are putting to be true) in thinking they can better vehicle manufacturers has an air of Shakespearean tragedy about it. They may have struck lucky with the iPhone, but folks' relationship with the car is far more emotional than it is with a mobile phone and I'm not sure that tech companies such as Apple and Google grasp that.

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Jaguar F-Type: A beautiful British thoroughbred

returnmyjedi
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Re: Do they do a version for people who can drive, or is it exclusively for the xbox generation?

It's a far more involving drive than a mark one E-Type. Not as pretty for sure, bit the older car had very wobbly steering and a soggy suspension.

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returnmyjedi
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Aston Martin is owned by a hodgepodge of British, Kuwati, American and multinational venture capitalists so the argument is even less valid.

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Think you’re hard? Check out the frozen Panasonic CF-54 Toughbook

returnmyjedi
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Are witches' nips cold? I always assumed they'd be warm and/or prickly.

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Hey, NUDE CELEBS! Apple adds SWEET 2FA to iMessage, Facetime

returnmyjedi
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I'm disappointed in Apple's marketing department for not giving it a cuddly name like they normally do for features standard on other platforms (this is the point where were I not bereft of wit and creativity I'd have put my own hilarious suggestion).

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Hear that sound? It's the Windows XP PC bubble popping

returnmyjedi
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At first I put the incoherence of your post down to autocorrect, but I've never seen mustard spelt with an 'e' (even amongst colonial commoners). So to echo the reply above me: What?

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Cortana to form CIRCLE OF LIFE in Windows 10

returnmyjedi
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Re: Yes But...

If you ask Cortana to sing you a song she bangs out "Daisy, Daisy" (amongst others).

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Helium HDD prices rise way above air-filled spinning rust

returnmyjedi
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Considering there's only two out three more decades' worth of helium floating about in the wild, I've always found the use of it in drives to be a bit indulgent and irresponsible. There are far more important uses for this finite resource such as cooling magnets in MRI scanners, and for bribing my daughter when used to fill up Peppa Pig balloons.

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RM has been schooled: Sales fell by over £69m in fiscal 2014

returnmyjedi
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They've been in decline since they stopped publishing Martello Tower.

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Google Now now SLURPS data from third party apps so YOU don't have to

returnmyjedi
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Re: Apple and Google aren't the same AT ALL

@DougS

If you believe that Apple don't peddle your inside leg size and such like, you clearly haven't read the Ts&Cs for any of their products, whether it be OSX, iOS our iTunes. All of these have declarations hidden amongst them declaring Cook et al will share your details with a preferred partner or two.

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Living with a Renault Twizy: Pah! Bring out the HOVERCRAFT

returnmyjedi
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Re: Neat, but...

Like a Fiat 500 TwinAir then? A bit more porky for sure, but as least its crumple zone isn't your tib and fib.

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Apple CEO: Fandroids are BINNING Android in favour of IPHONES

returnmyjedi
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Re: Blinded by Retina

"But in basic web browsing on responsive websites the iPhone significantly under-competes with landfill Androids."

I find that's more of an issue with Safari; Chrome on iOS tends to load pages properly.

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Wheeee! BT preps for FIVE HUNDRED MEGABIT broadband trial

returnmyjedi
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Sounds lovely, but I live in an area whereby BT's Infinity service has been listed as being "under review" for approximately yonks now. It could be due to the availability of Virgin Media, but the lack of choice for broadband greater than the 2 megs otherwise available is rather frustrating (and as I'm with VM, expensive).

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Windows tablet price war FINALLY has 'em prying open wallets

returnmyjedi
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My completely scientific method of gauging how popular a device is based on what I see folks using on my train journey to work. Whilst I haven't seen many cheapo Windows tablets, there are an increasing number of Surfaces popping up. Can't tell if they're the newer Pro 3 model or not, but definitely seem more popular.

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Horrifying iPhone sales bring Apple $18bn profit A QUARTER

returnmyjedi
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I think you'll find that in the last year alone Apple created not only the concept of the wearable in the form of the nebulous Apple Watch, but have also blown the smartphone world apart with their astonishing concept of a 5 inch plus screen on a phone with the 6 Plus.

How do you like them? Apples?

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Windows 10: The Microsoft rule-o-three holds, THIS time it's looking DECENT

returnmyjedi
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Re: Read the whole thing...

If it means that office dwellers jabber insanely to a digital assistant rather than me, I'm one socially stunted weirdo that welcomes the inclusion of Cortana.

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Facebook is MORE IMPORTANT to humanity than PORTUGAL

returnmyjedi
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"Google is the internet, surely?"

Geocites and AltaVista used to think the same. Yahoo! probably still do.

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Want a cheap Office-er-riffic tablet? Microsoft Windows takes on Android

returnmyjedi
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Quite a sniffy review for something so cheap and much more flexible than comparable Android slabs. One of the few things that I like more on touchy Windows over IOS and Android are its on-screen keyboard and the Metro (or whatever it's called now) version of IE which is surprisingly nice to use. Plus this ninety quid machine will work the entire Good Old Games library (mostly very smoothly, if similarly specced machines are anything to go by) so Tie Fighter et al on the train are a cheap option.

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Microsoft rolls out even cheaper 'Notkia' Lumias

returnmyjedi
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They're in my view the best budget smartphones on the market, but that Microsoft logo looks gash on the front. Maybe it's just me but Heath Lumia as the brand logo would have been far more appealing to the masses.

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Boybanders ONE DIRECTION launch DoS attack on open-source bods

returnmyjedi
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Re: I read as far as "Boybanders"

Monkees.

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Tax Systems: The good, the bad and the completely toot toot ding-dong loopy

returnmyjedi
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Reforming VAT would be a good start. Lower the starting rate for basic luxuries like a PAYG handset, then ramp it up to 50% for a Vertu our gold iPhone. Lower it for a Ford Fiesta, ramp it up to 50% for a Range Rover (95% if it has shiny 20" alloys).

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