* Posts by returnmyjedi

404 posts • joined 26 Mar 2013

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Sound and battery: 20 portable Bluetooth speakers

returnmyjedi
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I got a couple of Nokia ones (Play 360) free with a Lumia 800 a few years ago. Each one is mono but if they sense another is nearby they switch to stereo. They work using replaceable rechargeable batteries from Nokia feature phones so the six hours of battery life is easily extended.

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Apple's DIRTY SECRET isn't that secret, or that dirty

returnmyjedi
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Re: If Apple really really cared about workers conditions...

Different manufacturers impose less stringent targets on the assembly line also. One of the key areas that Apple have been criticised on in the past has been the productivity rates they demand of their workers which is what was linked to the raft of Foxconn suicides a few years ago.

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Apple v BBC: Fruity firm hits back over Panorama drama

returnmyjedi
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Can't speak for the others but Nokia always had an excellent rep in the ethical and human rights communities. Whether this has endured under Microsoft's stewardship remains to be seen.

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BT to gobble EE for £12.5bn – BTEE phone home

returnmyjedi
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Good/phew. Whilst they're far from perfect, as an o2 customer I was worried that BT would drag their above average customer service down to their appalling level. At least with EE it couldn't get any worse.

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Cloud Printing from a Chromebook: We try it out on 8 inkjet all-in-ones

returnmyjedi
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Re: Wi-fi and printers....

If I had my way they'd be a wired monotone laser printer sat at home, bit alas the missus likes to print off pictures of the sprog and for some reason can't just use Snappy Snaps like any sane person would.

(if she's reading this, it's not me: my account's been hacked)

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returnmyjedi
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I've got the Canon MX925 at home and it truly is an obnoxious lump of plastic. Thanks to done weird design quirk every couple of months I have to take an alcohol doused cotton bud to it's innards and give it a good scrub to get it to connect wirelessly to anything. The fact that I've owned it for a couple of years and the internet tells me it's still an issue means my twenty years of loyal Canon ownership (since I bought the BJ10e because I was a teenager and the name was HILARIOUS) will soon end.

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Govt spaffs £170k to develop the INTERNET OF SHEEP

returnmyjedi
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Gordon Blair? Is this the Labour party's hideous attempt at eugenics to try and recapture the "glory" years of Messrs Brown and Blair, and to eliminate the bacon guzzling youngest spawn of Miliband with a pack of cybernetically enhanced baa lambs? I fear it may well be.

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The Great Unwatched: BBC hails glorious digital future for Three

returnmyjedi
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Mongrels was on Three, but Animal was originally broadcast on BBC Two.

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returnmyjedi
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Zombie drama with brains (brainssss!) In The Flesh was of a surprisingly high standard, and Our War was rather good also. But yes, BBC Three's output is mostly complete toss on toast.

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returnmyjedi
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Re: Only Connect

Only Connect originated on BBC Four, I think you'll find.

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IBM Research wants laptop batteries to retire and slum it

returnmyjedi
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Re: smoke

Old Sony built laptop ones weren't averse to a spot of conflagration.

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VW's Scirocco diesel: A sheep in Wolfsburg’s clothing

returnmyjedi
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By VAG I was referring to any car made by the Volkswagen Audi Group, ie Seat, Skoda and the eponymous marques. Wouldn't say no to a Lambo oR Bugatti.

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returnmyjedi
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Of all the cars I've "owned" (quite a few company cars over the years) I have never had as many issues as I had with the Sirocco. And I've owned a fair few Italian ones. If it wasn't the DSG pissing oil all over my drive it was electric window cradle seizing up. If it wasn't the power steering failing it was the xenons blowing when only a couple of months old. And as for the TDi engine: Reminded me of the Granada diesel my old man had in the 80s.

Thankfully all work was covered by warranty and my local VW garage were excellent but the mechanics were very open about the innumerable issues affecting any VAG car based upon the Golf Mark V platform. And sure enough within a couple of months of me swapping the Sciricco Put me off quality German engineering for life.

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Misty-eyed Ray Ozzie celebrates 25th birthday of Lotus Notes by tweeting about it ...

returnmyjedi
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That's not entirely true. I distinctly remember taking my niece to see Happy Feet at the cinema and there were two adverts for IBM services before the main feature. I'm sure the gaggle of assembled toddlers and exhausted parents employed Big Blue's services immediately after they'd watched the tap dancing penguins do their thang.

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Apple deliberately wiped rivals' music from iPods – iTunes court claim

returnmyjedi
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But Apple make such magical and shiny things! They can't be evil, they can't!

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Microsoft: So sorry for NOT paying Xbox indie game devs on time

returnmyjedi
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I'm sure Microsoft will compensate the indie developers for the hassle, with a free indie game probably.

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Wireless Power standards are like Highlanders: There can be only ONE

returnmyjedi
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Qi burger

They've got qi chargers in my local (ish) McDonald's, so if it's good enough for that creepy clown it's good enough for me.

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Apple’s $700 BEEELLION market cap makes it more valuable than Switzerland

returnmyjedi
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Re: Switzerland is NOT the home of the cuckoo watch

Not fussed about an Apple Watch, bit would definitely be interested in a cuckoo watch. Would said avian alerter pop out of the side of the front?

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I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations

returnmyjedi
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Re: Star Trek

"Upset most of the fans however. And he has as little respect for Starwars as he did for Star Trek."

Just like Lucas, then.

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NEWSFLASH: You may ALREADY have seen Steve Jobs' willy

returnmyjedi
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'Fraid so, in Danny Boyle's production of Frankenstein at the NT. Said member was long and thin, just like its owner. Not that I make a habit of seeing the dangly of thesps, but I also was witness to Gandalf's staff when Sir Ian was playing King Lear in Stratford. He jumped up and down so much he resembled a Spitfire made of saggy old skin.

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Be real, Apple: In-app goodie grab games AREN'T FREE – EU

returnmyjedi
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Re: See ...

There is a touch of the Tea Party about them, that's for sure.

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returnmyjedi
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Gets

"Get"? As in "can I get a coffee?"

How appropriate that Apple choose to use a word so linked with an abomination of the English language that is so frequently ejaculated in Starbucks, the den of the discerning fanboi.

Bunch of gets the lot of them.

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CERN IT boss: What we do is not really that special

returnmyjedi
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He sounds a bit glum. A case of the Higgs Boson Blues, perhaps?

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You know where Apple Pay is getting used a LOT? Yes - McDonalds

returnmyjedi
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"Putting your phone down, in the open, in a McDonalds?

Are you asking for it to be nicked?"

One of the benefits of owning a Windows Phone is that no one would ever consider nicking it, however easy the pilfering may be.

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returnmyjedi
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I sauntered into the McDonalds in Milton Keynes last week and not only could I bonk n pay (not with Apple Pay being in the UK, plus not owning the new Super Sized models) but they also had Qi wireless chargers on the tables. As I merrily charged my Lumia a couple of hood rats spotted this and tried unsuccessfully to do the same with their iPhone 6s. They even complained to one of the scary clown's representatives when they couldn't tap into the wireless juice, stating that iPhones "work wirelessly now". Bless em.

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Samsung Galaxy Note 4: Spawn of Galaxy Alpha and a Note 3 unveiled

returnmyjedi
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Fast charging will no doubt deplete the battery capacity over time, but at least Samsung give you the option to replace it.

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What should America turn to for web advice? That's right: GOV.UK – says ex-Obama IT guru

returnmyjedi
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I had to fill out a US tax return once and it was the language was akin to that incomprehensible scene with the aged chap at the end of The Matrix Number Two (as it should have been called).

In comparison the UK self assessment is as simple as a Mr Men book (Mr Nosey, mayhaps?)

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NOKIA - Not FINNished yet! BEHOLD the somewhat DULL MYSTERY DEVICE!

returnmyjedi
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Nicely specced but the lack of innovation or flair, something that Nokia of old sometimes had too much of, is very disappointing. The resemblance to the iPad mini is startling though; perhaps it's the Finns way of getting back at Apple for nicking the Lumia design with the iPhone 5C?

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Space Commanders rebel as Elite:Dangerous kills offline mode

returnmyjedi
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After the phew Rory caused by the latest sim city being online only at release I would have thought that Frontier would have realised this design choice would be as successful as Ed Miliband at a bacon sandwich eating contest.

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Virgin Media struck dumb by NATIONWIDE packet loss balls-up

returnmyjedi
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Re: Widespread, but not everywhere

No issues in Northampton either. Go Saints!

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Jony Ive: Apple isn't here to make money. And students shouldn't use computers so much

returnmyjedi
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I hate lazy design also. The laziness of the design of the eMac's screen was particularly abhorrent. As was the design of the antenna in the iPhone 4. And don't get me started on how the 30 pin iDevice cable would undress itself of its outer sheath as soon as you start using it.

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Assassin's Creed bugs shift setting to LSD-drenched 1960s Paris

returnmyjedi
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The music in the "this one's too funny..." clip is rather excellent. Personally I've never found the Assassins Creed games to be that great. Very pretty to look at four sure, but the collectathon gameplay soon became tiresome. Glad I have this one a miss after seeing the vids.

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European Commission decides it won't have a science advisor after Greenpeace pressure

returnmyjedi
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Re: Greenpeace is neither green, nor peaceful.

Since 1997 I haven't thought for a second that Labour were left wing.

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returnmyjedi
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Bloody Greenpeace. First they prevent me from getting free bits of Lego when I fill my car up with lovely petrol, now they're removing science from Europe. Makes me so mad I want to punch a polar bear.

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Cold? Cuddle these HOT GERMAN RACKS, yours for only 12,000 euro – we swear there's an IT angle

returnmyjedi
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Darn it. Nearly bought a house last year and the only thing that put me off was it's hot air heating system. If only I'd had the foresight to replace the boiler in the cellar with a few racks.

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Ha ha, fooled you! Shares tumble over G4S fake website profit warning

returnmyjedi
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Re: https

Since when did G4S have the slightest interest in anything that would make something more secure?

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Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

returnmyjedi
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Why in the name of Dr Henry Wu's eviscerated guts wasn't Jurassic Park in the list? Shows how much of a dumbed down society we...ummm...is.

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Hey, Apple! We can land a probe on a comet, but we can't have a 12.9in iPad 'until mid-2015'?

returnmyjedi
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Re: Waiting to register...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

iWannap...

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returnmyjedi
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Perhaps the delays are less to do with assembly issues and more to do with complications on the software side. An extra couple of inches to run iOS seems a little unnecessary; however to run OSX it makes perfect sense.

So maybe the fruity types are working night and day to get it to run on ARM architecture, enabling a hybrid iOSX. That strategy worked out beautifully for Microsoft.

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TalkTalk's 'unbeatable signal strength' and 'fastest Wi-Fi tech' FIBS silenced by ad watchdog

returnmyjedi
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Crapness must be mandatory if the router has "super" in the title. My VM SuperHub can barely penetrate a studded wall, whereas my work laptop has no issue picking up the shared signal from an iphone or Lumia two floors up.

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DRAMA in SPACE: But Philae KEEPS TRYING to HARPOON COMET

returnmyjedi
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I'm going to report you to Farage for all that devilish pro European banter.

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My HOUSE used to be a PUB: How to save the UK high street

returnmyjedi
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There would need to be a complete change in planning laws of course. A similar problem faces a village near me that has two pubs, one of which has stood empty for years as they're isn't the population to keep it open. Many have tried to buy it to turn into a house but the parish council refuse to permit a change of usage as they are worried it would change the character of the village. So the character of the village remains as "derelict".

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Microsoft to bring back beloved 1990s super-hit BATTLETOADS!?*

returnmyjedi
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Re: If Microsoft didn't buy them we wouldn't have got Viva Pinata.

Viva piñata is up there with my favourite games of the 2000s, a surprisingly deep and involved strategy game masquerading as a kid's garden simulator. The score and art design also showed that Rare could still produce stunning games as they frequently did in the N64 era. And then Microsoft decided their talents were best put to use churning out Kinect sports games and it all went horribly wrong.

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BEHOLD Apple's BENEVOLENCE! iMessage txt BLACK HOLE finally fixed

returnmyjedi
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If the problem is that one cannot receive texts after away from the fruity church, how does a process that involves sending a text help solve the problem for those who have moved on due to their iDevice breaking or such? Or is the text that Apple sends automatically sent outside of the iMessage system? (Genuine question, not trolling).

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Farewell Nokia: First ever 'Microsoft Lumia' set for Tuesday reveal

returnmyjedi
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I'm convinced that one of the primary reasons for the success of the original Xbox and 360 was the scarcity of Microsoft logos on either machine, with the Xbox being the predominant brand. I'm quite happy with a Nokia phone, I'd be happy with one labeled as a Lumia. But for purely emotional reasons I do not want one with the M word emblazoned upon it.

I always knew Microsoft were incapable of learning from their mistakes, it now seems they can't learn from their successes.

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Poll: Yes, yes, texting while driving is bad but *ping* OH! Hey, GRAB THE WHEEL, will ya?

returnmyjedi
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Re: Windows phone

Lumias also have a Car Mode whereby if they connect to Bluetooth you can (if you wish) have all calls immediately redirected to voicemail our have it send an autoreply text to say you're driving.

I was a passenger being driven up the M1 earlier in the week I was surprised/terrified to see a woman playing a game (Angry Birds, I think) on the iphone that was in a cradle on her windscreen whilst driving in the middle lane. At 70mph.

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Apple strap-on wristjob: You WON'T be able to spend more than $5,000!

returnmyjedi
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Re: Gold-plated?

One of the reasons for the high cost of a Rolex is that they are hand built in Switzerland, which tends to have slightly better working conditions than Foxconn et al. Hopefully Apple will either pour a fraction of their war chest into having the watches built either in a factory with decent working conditions or have them built in the US a la the Mac Pro.

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iBail: American Psycho actor Christian Bale rejects Steve Jobs role

returnmyjedi
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The only viable proposition now is a motion captured Andy Serkis voiced by MacInTalk.

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Microsoft: How to run Internet Explorer 11 on ANDROID, iOS, OS X

returnmyjedi
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"Bleeding edge" is not a phrase oft used in the same sentence as Windows.

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Gov.UK doubles IT outsourcing to £20bn

returnmyjedi
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£20 billion spent; £19 billion worth of cancelled or failed contracts.

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