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* Posts by Anonymous Blowhard

207 posts • joined 25 Mar 2013

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Ex-despot Noriega sues: How dare Call of Duty make me look like, like...

Anonymous Blowhard
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Bastard!

"It is clear to game players that his [Noriega's] character and others that are based on real-life figures are fantasy"

Because in real life they're a lot more evil!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugo_Spadafora (Warning: makes unpleasant reading)

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FORGOTTEN Bing responds to search index ECJ ruling: Hello? Remember us?

Anonymous Blowhard
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Bing Bong!

Isn't being "found" by Bing as good as being forgotten?

Anyway, I'm off down the library to get some old newspapers, that may have articles mentioning me, filed away in a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard".

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Listen: WORST EVER customer service call – Comcast is 'very embarrassed'

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Just tell them you've sold your house

Up-voted; as always, the "way of the weasel" can overcome any obstacle!

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UK data watchdog broke data law, says UK data watchdog

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: FFS

"You should be able to sue them in small claims"

This is still your right, there's no law that says you can't do this; but proving that you have suffered an actual loss due to negligence is going to be pretty tough. And remember, they have lawyers on the payroll already, you'll have to pay for yours.

Like anything that's broken the decision is "do without", "fix it" or "replace it"; the "do without" is probably not a good option in this case so whichever is cheapest of the other alternatives for getting the required service. If you think they're doing a bad job then you need to write to your MP, and when there's enough political pressure they'll do something (might even be the right thing for once).

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CERN data explains how Higgs heavies other matter

Anonymous Blowhard
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Happy

Re: Still waiting on a grand unified theory

It's OK for spectators to criticize; they're flogging their GUTs out to find one!

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German NSA probe chief mulls spy-busting typewriters

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: I'm not surprised. (And there's some practical reasons too.)

"Photographing paper will simply mean being far more selective about what they target. Pre-searching if you like, so that 'metadata', who is meeting whom, who is on what committe, will become key."

So you mean that they'll have to go back to doing "real" spy work, using selective surveillance on only pre-identified targets, like in the old days, rather than just mass surveillance of everyone "because we can, and it's easier"?

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ALIEN BODY FOUND ON MARS: Curiosity rover snaps extraterrestrial

Anonymous Blowhard
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Lebenon?

I know there are some Olympic class stone throwers in the middle east, but this has to be a World (Solar System?) Record!

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Mine's 0.2 inches bigger than yours (says future fanboi of his iWatch)

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: More predictions from tech 'analysts'

'anonymous internet blowhard'

I refute the allegations of my involvement, but I agree with AC #2!

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Native Americans KILLED AND ATE DUMBO, say archaeologists

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Bloody Americans

WMD? Not at all; the National Spear Association campaigned for hunting rights, along with the right to bear arms (although the shirt hadn't been invented anyway), and there's no way the Clovis People are giving them up. Not until you prise the spear from their cold, dead hands!

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Microsoft takes on Chromebook with low-cost Windows laptops

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Accessing data , and Chromebooks

"You create a Google Document. Where's the backup?"

Is it here? http://nsa.gov1.info/utah-data-center/

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Get an EYEFUL OF CURRY for the sake of your brain

Anonymous Blowhard
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Pint

Did anyone mention a curry?

I normally find it's the accompanying beverage that causes memory loss.

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Will GCHQ furtle this El Reg readers' poll? Team Snowden suggests: Yes

Anonymous Blowhard
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I'm thinking of signing up for the premium service

For only five pounds a month I can unlock extra features on all their free Apps; no more wondering if they've synced my new data, I'll get a text message to confirm!

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Phab-u-less: Huge MONSTER iPhone 6 not due until 2015 – claim

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Analysts?

I take your point, but the video also shows the screen being jabbed with sharp metal objects, which is more a "Golden Delicious" and "Grimes Golden" comparison.

Looking at the performance of sapphire versus glass in other applications I would expect that the risks associated with using sapphire are more likely to come from things like the the bonding process or the availability and yield of the sapphire glass.

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Anonymous Blowhard
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Analysts?

"In addition, from a technical perspective, we don’t expect sapphire cover, used for the first time on the 5.5-inch model, will easily pass the drop test near term."

As opposed to the "bending through a right-angle" test?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/07/08/iphone_6_teardown_vid/

I think the word "analyst" might indicate which orifice they pull these "predictions" from.

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Popular password protection programs p0wnable

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Anyone using any web based password manager is just an idiot.

"And what good would that do me when I'm away from my desk?"

Using a random computer to access a secure asset or system is a bit like asking a random stranger to help you key in your PIN at an ATM; your systems may be squeaky clean but does your friend's/colleague's/internet café's computer have a key-logging trojan sitting there waiting for your credentials?

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Canuck reader threatens suicide over exact dimensions of SPAAAACE!

Anonymous Blowhard
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Babcock the Canuck

"A bit Like Conan the Barbarian, but armed with a baseball bat."

Ice hockey stick, surely?

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Apple: No, China. iPhone is NOT public enemy number 1

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: This might just be the most ironic bit of PR ever

Mr. Kettle: Hello Mr. Pot.

Mr. Pot: Hello Mr. Kettle; you're looking a bit black today!

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Say goodbye to the noughties: Yesterday’s hi-fi biz is BUSTED, bro

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: This new stuff looks boring

You forgot to mention it should be a blue LED; red LEDs are so last millennium!

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'Apple is TERRIFIED of women’s bodies and women’s pleasure' – fresh tech sex storm

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Well, well.

Filters?

I think the Register's system inserts rude words into posts automatically; I definitely didn't write "cunt" here.

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Anonymous Blowhard
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So if you want your address engraving, it's OK if you live in Penistone but not if you live in Scunthorpe?

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El Reg nips down IKEA's 'I've Got A Screw Loose Street'

Anonymous Blowhard
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Democracy in action

It's good to see that the Mayor and Ikea went along with the people's choice on this; even if it was a humorous dig at the sponsor.

Reminds me of Sheffield's "Letsby Avenue":

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/05/27/letsby_avenue/

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Google Ventures opens new fund in London

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: knock, knock, Ginger

In the North it's called "knock and run"; or "Parcelforce" as it's known today.

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Man FOUND ON MOON denies lunar alien interface

Anonymous Blowhard
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"the evidence we have shows very clearly that both those claims are likely to be wrong"

What evidence?

There's quite a bit of evidence that other stars have planets and there's quite a lot of evidence that the evolution of life is a naturally occurring process. So why wouldn't life occur elsewhere? We are only just getting started on the search for life on Mars, and there is no technique for detecting life at a distance, let alone life at a distance of light-years!

Detecting the signs of advanced civilisation, like radio waves, would be just as difficult; how much radio is emitted by our own planet? How detectable are we from tens or hundreds of light years?

It sounds like absence of evidence, not evidence of absence.

OK, the chances of life evolving to a stage where it's able to travel or communicate over interstellar distances seems very unlikely; but that's not what Aldrin is claiming is it?

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'Ribbed' for your pleasure: Jony Ive unveils NAKED IPHONE

Anonymous Blowhard
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Apple patents "glass box"

Doesn't Snow White's coffin count as prior art?

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Anonymous Blowhard
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Engineering 101

If you use thin sheets of anything, then reinforcing ribs are a good option; many of the panels used in cars are basically steel sheets with ribs (formed by bending steel sheets) welded to make them more rigid. Check the underside of your bonnet (USA = hood) some time.

Thin sheets of aluminium (although sapphire != aluminium) are particularly flexible, that's why we can wrap turkeys and unwrap chocolate bars with our bare hands.

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Dubai to get HUGE climate-controlled DOMED CITY and giga-mall

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Conspicuous consumption at it's worst

So how would tourists get to Dubai once the oil runs out? Electric Zeppelin?

(Sounds like a prog-rock band now that I think about it)

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Reg reader fires up Pi-powered anti-cat garden sprinkler system

Anonymous Blowhard
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I'm cataleptic with mirth

(I apologise in advance)

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Islamic terror peril hits US giants' phone wallets

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Different brand for ISIS?

Or maybe Payment Link Online?

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Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: ISIS's name confuses me anyway

"Just like you saw CCCP on those old Soviet rockets rather than USSR because the words were different in the original language."

And there is no "S" in Cyrillic, they use "C", and the "P" is the Greek "rho"; so you're actually seeing "SSSR" (Soyuz Sovetskikh Sotsialisticheskikh Respublik).

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USA to insist on pre-flight mobe power probe

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: New???

You definitely don't want something nasty in your cavity!

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Don't panic! Mega cloud biz group says NSA just one among many threats

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: No cloud is still the best option

How private is a private cloud though? Even if you own the hardware, co-locating it in a data centre that's subject to US law, through ownership for example, may still leave your privates exposed.

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Alabama quadchopper hits THREE THOUSAND FEET next to AIRPORT

Anonymous Blowhard
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"at what point does a model aircraft become a UAV?"

When you're explaining to your friends in a way that makes it seem cooler?

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iWatch watch: Apple tags sales bod from luxury Swiss watch firm

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Nostradamus

Nostradamus' predictions were of the form "something will happen somewhere, sometime in the future"; these days we'd call him an industry analyst.

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F1? No, it's Formula E as electric racing cars hit the track

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Are electric cars really usefull?

"Where does the energy come from?"

If it's France then these suckers are nuclear powered!

No-one really thought out the whole hydrocarbon fuel deal either; especially the numerous wars we've had in order to secure supplies, so let's not pooh-pooh the idea of electric racing on the basis of pollution.

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UK Xmas 2014: Go to shops a normal human, walk out a glasshole

Anonymous Blowhard
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WTF?

Christmas?

It's only just July FFS!

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El Reg is looking for a new London sub-editor

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Sir

I think it's a function rather than a variable; it means whichever is the lower I think.

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Barbican Digital Revolution exhibition: Techies, arty types get intimate

Anonymous Blowhard
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I, for one, welcome our robotic snake overlords!

(had to be said)

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What do we want? CAT VIDEOS! How do we get them? TOR!

Anonymous Blowhard
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Pull the other one!

You'll be telling me that they're entitled to a fair trial and being judged by a jury of their peers next!

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Golf bloke to Richard Branson: Get on board the future bus, where there's 'NO WEATHER'

Anonymous Blowhard
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The truth is out there!

"When I was in that pod, it all went white,"

Sounds like a flashback; did his arse hurt at the same time?

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New research: Flash is DEAD. Yet resistance isn't futile - it's key

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Sometimes I wonder...

"There's a limit to how much pr0n and cat photos even the nerdiest nerd could want to download and keep."

But you're forgetting about 4K utra-HD cat videos!

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SPACE: The FINAL FRONTIER. These are the TEN-YEAR images of star probe Cassini

Anonymous Blowhard
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Pint

Park it somewhere visible

If anyone does visit the Solar System, they are bound to come for a closer look at Saturn; so make sure they can find our calling card.

You never know, we might still be around to offer them a drink.

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We got behind the wheel of a Tesla S electric car. We didn't hate it

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: how are they likely to be in Winter?

Probably pretty good; you can't cross the street in Oslo without the risk of being silently run over by a Tesla.

Most Norwegians I know are very practical and wouldn't tolerate a car that doesn't work in the winter.

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Saddle up for the Tour de Firmware

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: What a waste . . .

I think he's being proud of his irony...

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What's it like using the LG G smartwatch and Android Wear? Let us tell YOU

Anonymous Blowhard
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As usual, porn will be the killer app

They'll be able to correlate hand movements with URLs for marketing blue pills, and maybe even synchronise the "action" with the (self ab)user...

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Zero-knowledge proof crypto scheme divines truths from nothing

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: Microsoft Sortware and Nuclear Weapons?

Microsoft made him type it wrong!

Is this a proof that some marbles and some marbles makes four? I think I'm losing mine...

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Google: Glass goggles are a 'fairly lousy surveillance device'

Anonymous Blowhard
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Re: can we stop saying glasshole yet

Shouldn't it be "Glasshole" with a capital G?

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'Our entire corporation cannot send or receive emails from Outlook'

Anonymous Blowhard
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"Hacking Team says the software should only be used on criminals"

But governments are free to define what's criminal so no problem then?

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French Senate passes anti-Amazon amendment

Anonymous Blowhard
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Vive la (price) différence!

Or maybe not?

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