* Posts by SW10

92 posts • joined 20 Mar 2013

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The next Bond – Basildon or Bass-Ass? YOU decide

SW10
FAIL

Re: Where is this poll of which you speak?

First test failed—this is not a poll for Bond but a capability assessment to find the next Q...

3
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Google plots cop detection for auto autos

SW10
Stop

Loop until... Loop until...

What happens when the Google mobile is obediently waiting at a red stop light with an emergency vehicle straining to push past?

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Hollywood offers Daniel Craig $150m to (slash wrists) play James Bond

SW10

Here are some outliers...

...just to get you started

Vinny Jones—for the harder edge

Boris Johnson—for the Brexit zeitgeist

James Nesbitt—for the Celtic touch

Renée Zellweger—for the American with a more than passable 'British' accent

5
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O2: Float or flog. What's it going to be, Telefonica?

SW10

Here come the groundhogs

A once national telecoms provider decides to divest itself of its mobile arm in order to reduce debt.

They should float it off into a holding company with a whacky-but-instantly-memorable name.

I think mmO2 sounds terrific.

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NHS advertises for digital director at £131k

SW10
Thumb Down

Grab-bag

OK, what do we have from the recruiter's grab-bag of magic words?

experienced - check

senior - check

leader - check

values - check

passionate - check ("I can’t wait to shag a digital")

needs - check

ensure - check

effective and efficient - check

Trick question: Which of these words could not be applied to any other job ad?

5
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Lester Haines: RIP

SW10
Unhappy

Pipes, commandeered kids and Spanish bar-flies...

...that's the way to advance science.

My condolences to the kids and their mother. I'm sure they have extraordinary memories and I encourage them to wallow in the best ones.

I am wiser for much of what he wrote.

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TWELVE YEARS of US Air Force complaints lost in database crash

SW10
WTF?

Wait..

The whole of "the Automated Case Tracking System [which] had data dating back to 2004 on complaints, investigations, appeals, and freedom of information requests, covering everything from waste and fraud to sexual harassment" was on one single disk/tape/floppy/punchcard?

All of it?

So presumably at every point during the last 12 years that someone in Lockheed Martin said:

"Hey, why not have a backup? Or RAID? Or printout?" they ran off to check with the in-house lawyers who replied:

"Nah. Nothing in the contract about that. Just leave it as it is..."

Lockheed Martin notified the Air Force after it spent two weeks trying to recover the information.

You can just imagine how much perspiration dripped into that keyboard...

4
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Don’t let the Barmy Brexiteers wreck #digital #europe

SW10
Facepalm

Re: Aaargh

I think one of the best reasons for voting leave is that Cameron wants to remain.

Ooh yes. On that basis you're better to be associated with Gove, Putin, Trump and the North Korean lad.

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3

'Massive great big' vulture goes AWOL in Somerset

SW10
FAIL

"massive great big"

Surely you're not quoting from the proper press release. No-one in the West Country would say "massive great big" vulture.

It's a "massive gurt" vulture.

5
1

Smartwatches: I hate to say ‘I told you so’. But I told you so.

SW10
Go

Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

The marketeers have just called. Can we have a range?

Maybe start at black plastic functional and go right through to bejewelled precious-metal status symbols?

3
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US 5th graders have a pop at paper plane record

SW10
Headmaster

Re: LOHAN?

Interestingly, Spring Grove Elementary appears to be planning a "Project Blackbird" balloon/drone launch from Spaceport America.

The only sensible solution is to launch a hostile takeover of Spring Grove Elementary.

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You wanted innovation? We gave you Clippy the Paperclip in your IM client

SW10
Unhappy

I will pay good money...

No, really, I will.

I will pay good money to have good, uninfected, private, reliable online services. And I mean news (yes, El Reg - keep it good and clean and I will pay for it), communications, entertainment, research...

Good money. I will pay.

I can't keep firkin about with blockers, extensions, add-ons, and all the buggering about I have to do to keep all those sticky nasty fingers off me and my family... I've just about had enough.

Charge me a fee, give me what I want and take this ridiculous hassle and aggro off my plate!

Anyone?

23
1

Look out, Windows Phone 8 users – yes, both of you – here's ... Windows 10 Mobile

SW10

Re: Can people opt-out?

Yeah, I was sure that I got a 'lifetime' licence to use HERE maps when I bought my 925...

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El avión de papel del proyecto PARIS aterriza en un libro de texto

SW10
Boffin

Traduction

Nous sommes heureux d'informer nos lecteurs que notre mission légendaire « PARIS » (Paper Aircraft Released into Space) est apparu dans un manuel en espagnol destiné aux enfants et qui racontent l'aventure extravagante stratosphérique de notre Playmonaut.

3
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Apple fires legal salvo at FBI for using All Writs law in iPhone brouhaha

SW10
Joke

Terminology

I tell you what, the next time uses the term "comfort break" in a meeting, I shall deny it and suggest we move for a motion to vacate.

3
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Feds look left and right for support – and see everyone backing Apple

SW10
Holmes

Re: Let's help you out then :)

Like your post - one quick comment:

At one point, someone in the US legal profession came up with the idea that if a certain judgement is accepted, there would be no point in arguing about it again and again, so a decision establishes "precedent" - a kind of seal of approval that because it was OK at one point, it should be OK the next time around as well.

It wasn't someone in the US legal profession.

That's English Common Law, the roots of the US legal system. What it also means that English court cases prior to Independence are precedent in the US.

(In very exceptional cases, it's even possible to argue judgments in other Common Law countries, so an English solicitor may point to a US or an Australian judgment.)

9
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Hey cellcos: Guess who's got your backhaul still? That's right. Big daddy BT

SW10
FAIL

Check facts, reconsider wild assertions

Crippling debt forced BT to sell off its own mobile operation O2, to Telefonica, in 2004

Er, no. BT spun off its mobile operation into a company called mmO2 in 2001. This was a decision that was taken by shareholder vote, not management alone.

The Telefonica takeover of O2 came later.

seen largely as the worst mistake in its history.

Really? By whom? You're just making stuff up, aren't you?

Have you looked at the relative performance of BT, O2 and Vodafone shares since the spinoff happened?

How would you have solved BT's 'crippling debt' if they were to have kept BT Mobile and thus avoid the worst mistake in its history?

5
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College kids sue Google for 'spying' on them with Apps for Education

SW10
Unhappy

Re: Normally I hate the lawsuit mentality

Sorry if they did not understand terms of trade.

It's not clear to me that they made this trade. My kid has just started at a school where everything is powered by Google Apps for Education. As someone who has routinely and actively avoided Google as much as possible (and it's practically impossible) this weirds me out no end.

At the moment I've got my brave face on, and even tried to kid myself that they might be slightly more ethical where kids are involved.

This is very unpleasant.

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El Reg nips down to the Hewlett You Inn?

SW10
Holmes

Wait!

Does Clare Loxley really have a corporate-coloured scarf?

4
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Watchdog says yes to BT's EE takeover deal. Shrugs. No 'significant' harm in it

SW10
Holmes

Re: To be welcomed

It would probably pay rather less tax in the UK than it does today though if that happened.

Er, no.

Even if BT were owned by a consortium of oligarchs from Iceland, Kenya and Brazil the profits from selling products and services in the UK would attract the unwavering attention of HMRC. You don't get out of paying taxes by being foreign.

Incidentally, if anyone reading this is an oligarch from Iceland, Kenya or Brazil then I have a very interesting business proposition...

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SW10
Stop

Re: To be welcomed

Define British.

Shares are publicly-listed in London and New York, available to anyone wishing to buy irrespective of nationality.

Staff (including senior managers) are drawn from and work in many countries around the world - and don't necessarily work in their home countries. I recall some very senior non-Brits at the helm, including (ahem) Verwaayen.

Granted, HQ is in London... But the point is, even if BT were bought out by a firm with its HQ in another country, it wouldn't be any less (or more) British...

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Periodic table enjoys elemental engorgement

SW10
Mushroom

No. 118

Now there's a line of them, I think Element 118 should be named Deslynam.

2
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EE's chief exec Olaf Swantee to step down

SW10
Thumb Up

Re: BT mobile historic flip flopping

Divesting BT Cellnet and creating mmO2 was to give the shareholders some relief and keep things afloat. It's easy to forget how disastrous things looked back then; BT had monstrous debt following the mobile auctions and its peak valuation was just prior to the dotcom crash.

The idea was to keep all the debt inside the boring company with steady revenues (BT plc) and hive off the mobile arm so it could grow more freely.

You could argue it worked - shares were worth a shade under 83p when mmO2 was spun off and Telefonica later bought it for £2. By comparison, Vodafone's price was (about) 220p when mmO2 was spun off and (about) 175p in Oct 2005 when Telefonica's buy-out was agreed.

[Disclosure: I hold BT shares. So that's the nasty capitalist view.]

0
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Bigger than Higgs? Boffins see hints of bulbous new Boson

SW10
Coat

So Bosun, it's a...

...boson BOGOF bonus?

(Mine's the one with the unseemly particles in the pocket.)

1
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Old jet bits, Vader's motorbike gear, sonic oddness: Hats off to Star Wars' creative heroes

SW10
WTF?

Re: Old car parts too

Any fule kno that all this took place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away:

the real question is how Fiat got hold of said switches...

12
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Rdio's collapse another nail in the coffin of the 'digital economy'

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Teenage boy bailed until November over TalkTalk incident

SW10
Childcatcher

Am I right in assuming...

...that the sophisticated cyber skills of this dangerous individual—who clearly has so little regard for the law and TalkTalk customers—need some brushing up?

Or is Dido Harding actually quite tech-savvy?

2
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Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

SW10

You want to send me to 21 Oct 2015?

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

SW10

I'll head down there now.

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Wheels come off parents' plan to dub sprog 'Mini Cooper'

SW10

Re: So you can attest to the oddness of some parents' sprog naming?

And what is it with giving your offspring a surname as a first name, especially when the family name could also be a first name?

Oi!

I have a first name as a surname and a surname as a first name. Some people write it the wrong way round, some imagine it's double-barrelled, some get it right.

I quite like both and they're essential to my identity even though I chose neither.

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SW10

My mate Mr Law...

...throughout his wife's pregnancy, threaten to call the lad Marshall.

2
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LOHAN chews the fat with US TV station over Spaceport's FAA-ilure

SW10
WTF?

Your problem's right here:

before Spaceport America can move any further on a project like Lohan’s Vulture II.

Yep, Spaceport America actually think this is Lindsay Lohan's project; so obviously all the paperwork has been sent to her.

Easy mistake to make. Seems to me you just need to nip round hers and get it...

8
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'RipSec' goes to Hollywood: how the iCloud celeb hack happened

SW10
FAIL

We can smirk...

...but ultimately this is about our sisters, our cousins, the people you have a drink with, that woman who puts in a few hours to serve food and drink at the sports club, the guy who always has a set of jumper leads to start your car.

In every other aspect of their life, when they lock something they know what level of security they've chosen. Big padlock, little three-wheel combination lock, 5-lever mortice, whatever; by-and-large, they have a gut feel for the risk level.

And when something is locked in the safe in the house, that's where it bloody stays.

That's largely the image they have with their phones as well. How do you explain that the stuff locked in their safe in their house isn't actually there, but is spirited off to a distant warehouse on the busiest street they can imagine. A warehouse where maybe the fire exit is left permanently open, or that a window has been forced and no-one noticed for months?

Something has to change.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

SW10

Pay attention now, 007...

11
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ESA tries UPLOADING PATCH to Philae lander to fix radios

SW10
FAIL

Will REG try UPLOADING PATCH to journo to fix basic English?

Cancel | Retry

4
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IoT/BYOD Topic of the Week: Which Channel 5 news minx was HOTTEST?

SW10

Correctitudinal quadrantification

I think to qualify in the top-right bell-quadrant of neuro-grammatical correctitude in the field of satiristic info-tech journalism, then the aptitude of the usage 'less' demonstrated by the post-Friday lunch journo should be rapidly assimilated into a conversion-substitution algorithm in order to produce 'fewer', thusly:

no fewer than 96 respondents

4
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Drum roll, please .... Results are in for the collective noun for security vulns

SW10

Irrelevant

viz. Roger of that ilk is the only person who can get away with using the term 'hatstand.'

1
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First pics of flagship Lumias for 18 months released … or maybe not

SW10

6310i

It's an oversized claim, I know, but I think my Nokia 925 is shaping up to be remembered alongside the 6310i in my little mind*: it doesn't have all the bells and whistles of its competitors, but with a mighty camera, HERE maps and wireless charging (yes, via a cover) it does a few things that I need very well. For everything else, there's t'internet.

I've dropped it, kicked it, splashed it and put it on bar tables covered in the kind of mixture that would eat into stainless steel and it's still going. Any other phone I've had disappears into the quatermass of inaccessible memory never to be properly recalled.

Two years old, and for the moment there's nothing I'd swap it for—and certainly not a plastic 'flagship.'

*I recognize that your brand of fanboi-ism may tell you different—but please don't tell me I'm wrong; I'm just giving you benefit of my own personal view.

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1

That thing we do in the UK? Should be ILLEGAL in the US, moans ex-State monopoly BT

SW10

Re: An American called Bas Burger

You couldn't make it up

You'd have to- he's Dutch.

Any crass prejudice jokes we can make about your name, AC?

3
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Hacking Team hacked: Spyware source code torrent blurts govt customers

SW10

Re: "claiming to only deal with ethical governments"

--- which ones are those then?

We'll be the judge of that—stop worrying your pretty little head.

3
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Multiple fondling on the MIGHTY 12-INCH iOS 9 SLAB — so, so close now

SW10

Re: Double the pane?

2 or 3? Why not 4?

Would that be awesome or some foursome?

1
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Clinton defence of personal email server fails to placate critics

SW10
Holmes

Convenience

Oh yes, I've always noticed that users find it a lot easier to set up, configure and administrate their own email server at home rather than the one provided as standard by the organization they work for.

14
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Friday: SpaceX will attempt to land rocket on floating, robotic 'spaceport drone ship'

SW10
Flame

Supersonic retro propulsion burn

Although I am in awe to see a real-life rocket land like those in the Sci-Fi of my distant youth, anyone who comes up with the term "supersonic retro propulsion burn" should be in curry-marketing and not rocketry...

4
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Sony to media: stop publishing our stolen stuff or we'll get nasty

SW10

Re: Cooperation in destroying the Stolen Information..? WTF

"Most celebrity-obsessed media, I think, don't even know what Stolen Information is, so why should they care about it?"

With apologies for mis-quoting Thomas Hesse, Sony BMG's Global Digital Business President (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4989260)

1
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Two driverless cars stuffed with passengers are ABOUT TO CRASH - who should take the hit?

SW10
Stop

It won't take long for the lawyers...

...to sort this out:

"Put brakes in there for emergencies, and maybe a steering wheel; then the occupants will cop the liability. The last thing we need is a class-action suit because of a ballsy belief in the superiority of our programming."

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GCHQ and Cable and Wireless teamed as Masters of the Internet™

SW10
FAIL

Re: "Vodaphone...""..has denied the GCHQ had direct access to its network"

"We will only supply information to government when we are legally compelled to do so, we won't go beyond the law and we will comply with due process," Deadman said.

I'm sorry Mr. Deadman, you're talking about the future. My question concerns the past.

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Nokia: Buh-bye LUMIA and cash-sucking handset pals... LET'S MAKE SOME MONEY!

SW10
Go

No fear Nokia

You've got to hand it to a company that happily adjusts its strategy from wood-pulp to rubber boots to cables to telecoms to networking.

So many other corporates are too afraid of reality - or can't even see that, for example, digital cameras will kill off their selling-chemicals-to-make-pictures business (Kodak, that's you) or that online news sites will kill off the distributing-and-selling-paper-with-advertisements-in business.

To say nothing of "we accept we've been pushed to the margins by [our own idiocy] [cheaper/faster/better competitors] "

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Consumer group SLAMS NASA for letting Google rent $1bn 'playground'

SW10

Federal law and pot

Whatever the legality of weed at the Federal level, it is interesting to note that the IRS are quite happy to tax State-legal, er, pot-joints.

Which perhaps sets an interesting precedent...

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