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* Posts by Sebastian Brosig

165 posts • joined 4 Jul 2007

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Luscious LOHAN t-shirts fly into Vulture Central

Sebastian Brosig
Coat

What's the O in LOHAN?

Well "orbit" is a blatant exaggeration isn't it - shed efforts like this, while commendable, are a long way from Orbital Space flight for now.

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Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box

Sebastian Brosig
Coat

Sorry to burst the bubble

..but "Die Welt" is a rag of little more worth than your much-derided publication the "Daily Mail" in this country. OK maybe a tiiiiny bit more, maybe halfway between the mail and the Telegraph.

Ex-German speaking here, OK I'll get my coat.

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It's even GRIMMER up North after MEGA SKY BROADBAND OUTAGE

Sebastian Brosig

shut up ye smug London wankers

and Ramsbottom is named after neither ovine males nor buttocks: it's the valley of the ramson, or wild garlic.

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Flies WANT beer booze and now we know why - yeast

Sebastian Brosig

thank god

Used to say "Eat more shit, millions of flies can't be wrong" quite a lot. Now I can vary that to "Drink more beer"!

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Damien Hirst, eat your heart out - these guys chop up TAXIS

Sebastian Brosig

What about a Sinclair C5: would be about as useful chopped up as it was when new!

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Retailers toast welcome return of Back2School notebook biz

Sebastian Brosig

laptops for kids

I bought a couple of fat old Dell Precision M4300s for my girls on Ebay ("mobile workstations").

OK so they're anything but light but they withstand a fair bit of abuse, and have high-res screens especially useful for young people with enviable near-field eyesight. Oh no no Windows 8? Well Ubuntu will have to do for them.

Cost me £40 for the pair (plus the odd spare disk battery etc)

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Leak of '5 MEELLLION Gmail passwords' creates security flap

Sebastian Brosig

Re: Not my GMail password

since the password file is out there couldn't Google download it, check the passwords' validity, and email / SMS anyone whose actual password has been leaked?

Am I wrong in thinking there should be no risk with that, other than the Google staffer searching for the relevant torrent being exposed to some "23 hot women near you want to date you tonight"-style links? (*blush* )

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SAP chaps cook up Glass Glass style apps for ...WHERE are you off to with that FORKLIFT?

Sebastian Brosig

future here we come

reminds me of this old story:

http://marshallbrain.com/manna1.htm

humans as cheaper alternatives to robots, i.e. as highly capable collection of actuators

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Munich considers dumping Linux for ... GULP ... Windows!

Sebastian Brosig
Linux

Josef Schmid's personal opinion

I do speak German and have just read up on this: It's not a done deal. The Deputy Mayor doesn't like LiMux but a lot of people on the council do:

http://www.heise.de/open/meldung/Linux-in-Muenchen-Stadtrat-verteidigt-LiMux-gegen-Buergermeister-2262506.html

Oh and I know there are lots of sucky groupware applications, but Outlook/Exchange is one of them.

Maybe we should all use Notes/Domino (ducks).

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Microsoft takes on Chromebook with low-cost Windows laptops

Sebastian Brosig
Coat

obligatory Monty Python reference

"Windows 8.1 with Bing"

and , err, get the machine that goes "Binnnnng"

http://youtu.be/arCITMfxvEc?t=10s

ok I'd get my coat except it's too hot.

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Chow rocket blasts off for ISS: Awww, freeze-dried ice cream AGAIN

Sebastian Brosig
Paris Hilton

so there's the theme for the next SPB mission after Lohan: bring crate of beer to ISS.

Paris connection? The backronym will surely provide one.

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Booze in SPAAAACE! Brit rocket boffin preps bold stratobeer mission

Sebastian Brosig
Pint

I beg to differ

RainForestGuppy:

While in general I would assert that London has absolutely nothing to recommend itself and the world would be a better place without it, I find "London Pride" beer quite tasty.

De gustibis non est dispuitandum

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What a whopper, LG: Feast your eyes on this 77-inch bendy TV

Sebastian Brosig

re: menotu It's the content that counts

I agree:

Peter Jackson's Tolkien films will be boring no matter what. And seeing a good film will be good almost irrespective of the technical qualites of the TV set.

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Google Nest slurps your life into the Matrix? The TRUTH

Sebastian Brosig
Unhappy

> tell when a person was on holiday. Once in "away mode", the thermostat

> can then turn lights off and on to trick burglars into thinking people are inside a target house.

Unless the burgular subscribes to the underground datafeed of a haxx0r inside Nest's database, in which case a burglary will be scheduled automatically in his/her work diary.

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WORLD CUP SHOCK: England declared winner in 2-1 defeat to Italy

Sebastian Brosig
Coat

Oh Ja

and by the vay: ve shoult hav von in 1966, bcauze zat ball was definitely not over ze line.

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Happy Birthday Tetris: It's flipping 30

Sebastian Brosig

Anyone remember Dan Quayle?

invoking xtetris --qualyle made it easier, you only got squares

http://slackware.org.uk/slackware/slackware-2.3/source/xap/xgames/xtetris-quayle.patch

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Google's driverless car: It'll just block our roads. It's the WORST

Sebastian Brosig
Thumb Up

RE: Nope, it's the job of us cyclists to do that.

When I read the bit about waiting an extra second after the light turn read I thought about how I (cyclist) feel just about the most dangerous time to cross a traffic junction is when the lights just go green: you run the risk of being hit by people crossing the opposite green phase when it's already turning red (aka cherry-green), and you're in the scrum of everybody else and annoying law-abiding car drivers. I often cross in the middle of the red phase, in case it's absolutely obvious that the junction is clear. Yes it pisses off some horn-happy drivers, but more reasonable ones appreciate the fact that I'm not in their way in the junction when they're using it.

The second thing that came to mind is that I found on a recent trip in Taiwan that their red and green phases are often about 90 seconds long. That requires patience but increases throughput. They also have big displays showing a countdown of the remaining "red" seconds.

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Skype to become 'Star Trek' style real-time translator, says Redmond

Sebastian Brosig
Coat

15 seconds..

..and a 2lb bag of salt.

Really, taking a stopwatch to a promotional video?

Remember this one? www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaN1Nz1Dyls

OK it's not Apple but we don't really expect that much more honesty

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Leaked pics show EMBIGGENED iPhone 6 screen

Sebastian Brosig

phablet

just been to china... people there appear to love their phablets. Lots of people aren't actually that big and neither are their hands, but a Galaxy Note or some other huge phone is what people (affluent ones who can afford to fly to Taiwan) use.

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Samsung Galaxy S5 fingerprint scanner hacked in just 4 DAYS

Sebastian Brosig

Re: Lizard People?

What is funny? It's not to do with the seriousness of the subject matter, for me. I'm open to laughing about all sorts of serious or even tragic things if there is an ironic twist.

Where the funniness of the lizard thing is lost is that it's based on a misunderstanding on the technical point: You don't revoke the fingerprint!

Make a comical point about some crap policy like the bedroom tax: bring it on.

If you're driven into rent arrears and debt because you can't afford your council house any more and there is no smaller one to move into, you may be upset about it, but it doesn't take the "funny" away.

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Sebastian Brosig

Re: Lizard People?

Maybe you're joking and your sense of humour eludes mine. Generally, I only understand it's a joke if it's actually funny.

It's not the fingerprint that is revoked but the cryptographic key held protected by the fingerprint.

The biometric stuidd is strictly between the owner and their S5, the Crypro key is between S5 and paypal. Simples.

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Little pink handjob: Sony's Xperia Z1 Compact

Sebastian Brosig

Re: Attention Handset Manufacturers!

Same applies to BMW, the manufactures of the Twatmobile(R)

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Sebastian Brosig
Boffin

Re: units again...

What with it being Friday and this being The Register.. we should attempt to convert this into the universal system of Vulture Central Standards.

I cannot find a unit of mass in the standard-defining document (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/08/24/vulture_central_standards), so I propose the Vulture Standard grapefruit which already defines volume to be the new mass unit as well, according to yahoo answers it weighs 0.128kg in SI.

That makes the natural choice for a unit of force the weight of a grapefruit on Mars, and the energy unit (Mars-grapefruit * double-decker-bus) or Mgddb for short.

In summary, the energy stored in this phone's battery is just shy of 7000Mgddb (assuming this phone battery has 3.7V like mine)

P.S. I know the standard length unit should be linguine but it sounds much more fun to ship a bus to Mars and stand it on end for the necessary experiments!

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GNOME 3.12: Pixel perfect ... but homeless

Sebastian Brosig
Linux

3.12 on Fedora 20

One of the fine folks from fedora has made a COPR ("Cool Other Package Repository", seriously, a bit like PPA on ubuntu) for this

https://copr.fedoraproject.org/coprs/rhughes/f20-gnome-3-12/

I'm going to give it a try later. Comes with the usual warnings.

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EE...K: Why can't I uninstall carrier's sticky 'Free Games' app?

Sebastian Brosig

Real-time buying behaviour

The store manager gets real-time buying figures on his tablet from the tills.

The "aisle linger time" metric (presumed to be predictive of some sort of latent shopping intent) is limited to a certain class of customers only, namely the one who buys EE phone contracts and top-spec smartphones. But maybe that's good because that's means it's the segment that's open to having other useless crap flogged to them as well.

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Flying Toaster screen savers return on GitHub

Sebastian Brosig
Gimp

here's a challenge:

Make a "flying toaster" screensaver where the chrome toasters show ray-traced reflections of the webcam image so you can see your distorted image in each of them!

There must be a way to keep CPU and GPU load up during idle periods even in this day and age.

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Q. Can your Linux PC run Crysis? OK, it can. But will it run natively? A. Soon, very soon

Sebastian Brosig

CryTEK lingo

they failed to translate the PR blurb properly:

New fytures include an integryted multi-threaded physics engyne, procydural dyformation, an artifycial-intelligeyce system for game characters, and astonishingly impryssive vysuals.

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Top UK e-commerce sites fail to protect 'password' password-havers from selves

Sebastian Brosig
Devil

security education

Ecommerce sites could do even more for security:

When someone creates an account on their site it should do some automated login attempts with the same password (Twitter, facebook, ...) and, if successful, automate a post to the dimwit's social network saying "I'm a security dimwit and my password is <qwerty>".

That'll teach'em.

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NASA robot plans mid-2020s trip: Europa. Wet, radioactive life forms (hopefully). Bliss

Sebastian Brosig
Joke

$$$ Millions for Europa

Just as well it's the US: here in UK it would cause Nigel Farrage to hyperventilate and several of Farrage-wannabes in the Tory backbenches to have a heart attack before they found out they've read the headline wrong.

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Fanbois sent into FITS of RAGE by fake Steve Jobs statue competition

Sebastian Brosig

Hairdo.

Did S Jobs have any hair? Must've been a good long while back.

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German frau reports for liver transplant clutching bottle of vodka

Sebastian Brosig
Headmaster

Lebertransplantationsvodkaflaschenhalterin. I leave out the "frau", since spelling it without capitalisation is a Unverschämtheit.

Schönen Tag noch.

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Furtive ebook readers push Hitler's Mein Kampf up the charts

Sebastian Brosig

Lolita

My dad claims his colleague (he worked as a grammar school teacher) read "Lolita" covered in a "Bible" dust jacket back in the 60s when travelling to school on the tram, but I'm fairly sure it was him really.

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Apple patents facial recognition tech for mobile log-in

Sebastian Brosig

prior "art"

Randy Waterhouse in Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon had that on his laptop in 1999!

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Wolfram's new equation: Mathematica+RPi=child geniuses everywhere

Sebastian Brosig

Re: As in "Mathmatica, the monster resources hog" Mathmatica?

I remember Mathematica ran just fine on a NeXT pizza box or cube, those had similar memory and computing power to a Rpi. sure you can use lots of resources but you don't have to.

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Getting it right on the second attempt: Sony Xperia Z1

Sebastian Brosig
Paris Hilton

Zoom?

the full-zoom shot of the Hilton tower (hence the Paris angle -> ) shows that 20MP is a simple waste of storage, it's useless at that size. A _good_ 8MP camera is enough for a phone, all the Lumia 41MP trickery nonwithstanding (there it's mostly a basis for noise-reducing oversampling)

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Facebook gives THUMBS DOWN to its OWN design makeover

Sebastian Brosig
Meh

"most-viewed pixels"

Maybe most-rendered pixels. But at some low-level hardware layer in my visual cortex there is content filter that removes that information from the input stream. I suspect I'm not the only one with that function.

Maybe they're trying to circumvent that filter with their redesign, but the hardware architecture has been honed for millions of years to adapt to new challenges quickly.

Zuck on that, bitch!

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Pimp my office: 10 cubicle comforts

Sebastian Brosig

Jerky

"TopGear a tad jerky": it's not a bug it's a feature, 'cause Jeremy Clarkson is a jerk.

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Sketchy Soho denizens get mitts on London superheroes

Sebastian Brosig

Competition T&C

they had to sign a document at the start, promising not to say "gee thanks I can always flog it on eBay" when they receive their wannabe-iTat as prizes.

Ok, I made that up.

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Microsoft investors push for Bill Gates defenestration: report

Sebastian Brosig
Linux

Linux fans should applaud Billy G

Microsoft DOS and later windows paved the way for cheap commodity computer hardware, which made Linux possible. Even Windows-haters (me included) know that we have Bill to thank for that, not just for GORILLAS.BAS

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Former Microsoftie in AUTOMATIC BEER MAKER funding plea

Sebastian Brosig
Pint

I expect "fully-automatic home-brewed" beer to be at best mediocre like "automatic breadmaker" bread. Not a patch on the real crafted product (be it liquid or solid bread).

I advocate a better system: mains distruibution from your friendly round-the-corner microbrewery, taps "hot", "cold" and "beer" at the kitchen sink.

Cheers

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TUPPERWARE FOUND ON MOON of Saturn

Sebastian Brosig

Re: Is that the old tupperware boxes

Tupperware is and always was mostly PP (Polypropylene).

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Mach 8 Scramjet flies but sends no data

Sebastian Brosig

LOHAN take heart!

SPB's experiment has had its strugges with technical mishaps too: but their budget is a smigin lower, so take heart! The deep-pocked boffins are no better!

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Jolla's first Sailfish phone preorders 'fully booked'

Sebastian Brosig

Nokia submarines

I keep on hoping that some old mates of the Jolla team have not Elop'd from Nokia and can leak the odd private key and hardware secret so that Sailfish can run on Nokia's rather neat phones! Of course that may incur flying chairs from Redmond.

Would punters break any laws if they bought a Windows phone just to root out Windows and run other software on it?

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Bitcoin blitzkreig as Germans prepare to tax virtual currency

Sebastian Brosig
Headmaster

Blitzkrieg

please. I know it's strange for the British how the Germans use 'ie' where English would put 'ei', but it enhances the effect of the language-based fun to get it right.

You are wery velcome.

Disclaimer: I am a Kraut, yes.

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Apple files 'Bonk to Gift' near field communication patent application

Sebastian Brosig
Headmaster

"to gift"

"gift" as a verb: well it's horrible but maybe it's in your dictionary. Thank you for stating between the lines that you had to check. "gifter" and "giftee", though, that's a whole other level of ugliness. Maybe it's the fact that the patant drawing is not horribly distorted this time that made someone think that, at least, the language had better be terrible.

Some sort of statistical argument on how likely a patent is to stand up against legal scutiny, depending on how much it's actually scrutinised, which in turn depends on how stomach-turning the content is.

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NORKS prepping glorious People's Smartmobe

Sebastian Brosig

Claims of "North Korea stuck in Middle Age" greatly exaggerated

It's always fun to have a larf at the expense of the Norks, and it's somewhat of a Vulture tradition.

But the sentiment expressed in many of these comments and in recent media brouhaha RE: NK documentary disregards the fact that many of the actual people there aren't dumb (just like elsewhere).

There is a huge underground economy powering much of the country, feeding people (you can't just eat imaginary peaches grown on an imaginary farm) etc, and owning/operating all the latest tech kit from China within the reach of the northern border.

And the party leaders quietly accept that, too, so that people don't fall over dead in the street all the time.

You can't just promise them a bowl of kim-chee and have 500,000 soldiers turn up for a military parade, you have to give it to them as well, so you have to go to the black market to buy a few heads of cabbage and such beforehand.

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Mystery object falls from sky, area sealed off by military: 'Weather balloon', say officials

Sebastian Brosig
Boffin

No one would have believed in the early years years of the twenty-first century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinised and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinise the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. With infinite complacency men went to and fro over this globe about their little affairs, serene in their assurance of their empire over matter. It is possible that the infusoria under the microscope do the same. No one gave a thought to the older worlds of space as sources of human danger, or thought of them only to dismiss the idea of life upon them as impossible or improbable.

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BitTorrent's share 'n' sync tool comes to Android

Sebastian Brosig
Linux

Competition is good, even in the OpenSource world

yes, agreed. Unfortunately, BitTorrent Sync isn't open source at all!

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Put up your ... err ... hand for free vasectomy streamed online

Sebastian Brosig
Thumb Up

I call "bollocks"

>do not take your sports car

I cycled to and from the clinic for my vasectomy, amd I do use a hard seat on my bicycle.

And yes it does hurt but nothing terrible, at all.

All sorts of complications can happen but by and large, it's rare. And nothing compared to the kinds of complications non-vasectomies can cause, mostly but not exclusively on the other half of the beast-with-two-backs, if I may say so.

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Germans brew up a right Sh*tstorm

Sebastian Brosig

Re: @ murph - Scheissturm

Scheißsturm. Even in the "reformed spelling" it's still spelled with the sharp s, also known as "that funny beta letter" in these parts.

Interesting question also whether you'd get a triple consonant in the compound (Scheisssturm) if you translate the ß into ss, as the Swiss do, for example, or where you write capitalised.

Schönes Wochenende, zusammen.

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