* Posts by Fortycoats

55 posts • joined 5 Mar 2013

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Vegans furious as Bank of England admits ‘trace’ of animal fat in £5 notes

Fortycoats

..."none shall pass my lips" brigade who insist on different ovens/plates/forks...

try telling that to a coeliac whose "gluten-free" meal was prepared in the same area as regular pizza, bread, or other wheat containing food. Been there, done that. Not a pretty sight (or smell in the bathroom afterwards)

Or a peanut allergy sufferer who is in anaphylactic shock because they had traces of peanut on a spoon to stir their meal.

That's not religion. I know you mean the crazy fad-dieters here, they annoy me as well. Makes things really difficult for those us don't have a choice when it comes to certain types of food.

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Portsmouth bomb about to be detonated

Fortycoats

GB / US Bombs just as reliable

They still find plenty of unexploded ordnance across Germany. The departments charged with the safe disposal have a great name: Kampfmittelräumdienst

They defuse the bombs (mostly), then transport them to special facilities where the stuff is all placed in a big hole and blown up with a satisfying kaboom.

Some cannot be defused safely, and are detonated on site, like this one 4 years ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idF3Nq11BcM

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BOFH: There are no wrong answers, just wrong questions. Mmm, really wrong ones

Fortycoats

Obligatory Dilbert

http://dilbert.com/strip/2013-08-01

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Shopkeeper installs forecourt khazi to counter mystery Dublin dung dumper

Fortycoats
Devil

Re: Electified seat?

Super glue on the seat. Better survival rate. Then he can find out who it was, and why.....

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Das ist empörend: Microsoft slams umlaut for email depth charge

Fortycoats

What about Turkish?

Don't they have lots of "ü"s as well?

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Password strength meters promote piss-poor paswords

Fortycoats

primetime21 ?

Wow, who'd have thought Deion Sanders was so popular as a basis for a password?

Was beastmode24 on the list, too?

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Cops break up German sausage fight between pair of Neubrandenburgers

Fortycoats

Yep, Germans are particularly rubbish letting people off public transport. My young daughter once got stuck on a tram because some old biddy barged through the door getting on without letting anyone else off. By the time my daughter could get back to the door it had closed and the tram drove on. Luckily the next stop wasn't that far away and no harm done. But still, how rude!

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'Flying Bum's' first flight was a gas, gas, gas

Fortycoats

The next Ed Force One?

Will Bruce be flying this for Iron Maiden's next world tour?

Or maybe not, his song "Empire of the Clouds" was about the R101 airship, which didn't end too well.

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Robo-buses join the traffic in Helsinki

Fortycoats
Go

Re: 10 km/hr

Somehow that scene from Austin Powers with the Steamroller comes to mind.....

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DoJ preps criminal charges for VW over Dieselgate

Fortycoats

Re: double standards? @Fortycoats

Hi, the only link I had was in German. But found an english one here:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/cars/advice/diesel-recall-which-cars-are-affected-will-my-mpg-decrease-and-s/

VW were doing the most, it seems, to cheat on the test. But the others are also "optimising" their results. And yes, the tests themselves are rubbish. You never get the mileage stated in the sales blurb, not even close.

And to compare emissions, you don't want to know how much crap the average cruise ship pumps out.

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Fortycoats
Flame

Re: double standards?

What about GM? Didn't they have problems with ignition switches, which resulted in many fatal accidents? Y'know, where people actually died (at least 124). According to Wikipedia they they coughed up $900m to Uncle Sam and about $600m compensation. So about $1.5bn total. But VW are being pushed for 10 times that amount, just for fiddling with the software? Nobody has died (directly) because of this. And it wasn't just VW. Daimler, Opel (yes, GM again), Ford, and others were also found to have "creative" software on their Diesel cars and vans.

So how to explain the difference? Could it be because VW is not American?

If they want to go after anyone, it should be the German Federal Vehicle Regulator (Kraftfahrtbundesamt - KBA). They just ignored it or let the manufacturers design the emissions tests themselves. Which shows how much clout the car lobby has in Germany - about as much as the NRA in the US.

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OK, we've got your data. But we really want to delete it ASAP

Fortycoats

Re: The real problem is the way bean counters work.

Oh don't get me started on the "1TB Disk for £75". Bean-counters then wonder why enterprise storage costs loads more. RAID, controllers, snapshots, compression, deduplication, replication, and all them backups, plus the cost of the people keeping it all running smoothly. (you know, the ones who are immediately blamed on the rare occasion when it doesn't).

And then there's those who won't archive/delete old data from the active database. Do you really want 5-year old data that hasn't been touched in the last 4 years clogging up your expensive All-Flash Array?

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Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

Fortycoats
Stop

Ye Gods!

Tea in a coffee pot????? Blasphemy! And milk in there, too? That's a paddlin' !!

Did anyone dare drink the stuff? Probably tasted of coffee..... bleugh!

Think I need a strong cuppa after the shock of reading that.

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Uber's dud private dick given a hard time by judge in stiff surge case

Fortycoats
WTF?

Following Uber's "business practices"

So Uber, who basically are using unlicensed taxi drivers to do the actual work, pay a private investigation firm which then goes and uses an unlicensed investigator to do the actual work?

But the latter wasn't legal, according to the Judge. So what about the former?

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Utah sheriffs blow $10,000 on smut-sniffing Labrador

Fortycoats

Re: That's a lot of different storage devices....

Well, Zip Drives were invented in northern Utah (Roy). I wonder why.....

This was before the days of USB or cheap CD writers.

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McDonald's says bigger fonts cooked up improved profits

Fortycoats

Re: McRib

Then move to Germany. Available all the time (except when they're serving breakfast. The all-day breakfast hasn't reached these shores yet)

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Is that how you define a flash array, IDC?

Fortycoats

This is all getting a bit silly.

I half-expect Graham Chapman to walk out in his Colonel costume and say "Right, stop that! It's silly" (despite the fact that the poor chap died in 1989)

Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics.

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Swiss effectively disappear Alps: World's largest tunnel opens

Fortycoats

Re: Swiss efficiency

If you mean the Hauptbahnhof that is a black hole for public money, then I think you mean "Stuttgart 21". The opera house is indeed in Hamburg - the Elbphilharmonie. How an ugly eggbox like that can cost over €800m (and counting) is hard to comprehend. But nothing beats BER Airport.

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Burger-slinger Wendy’s admits: Cash-till data breach hit 1 in 20 outlets

Fortycoats
Coat

Where's the beef?

Mine's the one with some cash in the pockets....

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EMC re-engineers its VNX flashy boxen, puts Unity on the label

Fortycoats

No more Java

About time: the new GUI is HTML5, not Java-based any more. And it looks like you can do most file-operations in the GUI, instead of being forced to use SSH to a control station to do certain things. It looks like it really is a unified array, instead of Celerra-bolted-to-a-Clariion (a.k.a. VNX Unified).

But there's no in-line dedup (compression is coming soon). Expect to hear plenty about that from Pure.

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Flying Spaghetti Monster is not God, rules mortal judge

Fortycoats

Re: Indeed!

And which god would that be? Jehovah, Allah, Ra, Vishnu, Zeus, Jupiter, Muad'Dib, Offler the crocodile-god, or is it really the FSM?

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Which keys should I press to enable the CockUp feature?

Fortycoats

Windows-L..... or else!

I used to work in an office where any unattented unlocked PC was used to send invitations to the entire team for breakfast the following morning, paid for by the "sender". This was a quick lesson in desktop security. Some were very quick on the draw (i.e. bastards), the victim was only away from their desk for a couple of minutes and BANG. It was very impressive how fast they could switch to outlook, type and send the meeting request in less then 30 seconds. Luckily I was warned of this practise on my first day. Windows-L is your friend!

Even managers got involved. It was rather ironic when we got an inivitation from a manager whose responsibilities included security (he was pranked by a fellow manager sharing his office).

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Cisco says CLI becoming interface of last resort

Fortycoats

Does a CLI need Java, Flash, etc.?

And some GUIs only work properly with a certain version of Browser or Java. UGH!

Not to mention browsers pestering about security settings.

OK, a well-designed and properly thought out GUI doesn't do any of those things, it just works. But I've come across way too many horrible GUIs. Or GUIs where you can't actually do everything and you need the CLI to perform certain actions (Brocade and EMC, I'm looking at you here!).

Also strongly agree with Sooty's comment on scripting and auditing. Very important, especially if you're performing changes to a production environment.

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Google robo-car backs into bendy-bus in California

Fortycoats

Re: Blind-sided?

"why they do not automate trains"

Some of the subways in Nürnberg, Germany, are driverless.

I think they have been running for almost 5 years. I haven't been on one myself, yet.

https://youtu.be/PC4GrQq04us

https://youtu.be/VKsybvoLg8U

Can't recall any accidents with them.

Plenty of airports also have automated trains between terminals, e.g. Frankfurt, Paris CDG, Denver, London Stansted.....

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German mayor's browser tabs catch him with trousers down

Fortycoats
Gimp

Ein bisschen Spaß muss sein.....

Frankly, I don't care whether he looks are porn while on holiday, or anywhere else in his private life, whatever sort (as long as it involves consenting adults), end of story. But if he was on an iPad paid for by the taxpayer, and if he was Data Roaming, well then there's a legitimate "public interest". Selbstbefriedigung auf Kosten der Steuerzahler? Das ist verboten!

Mind you, he was probably looking at ways to "punish" the AfD leader, Frauke Petry, who came up with the crazy suggestion of shooting at immigrants trying to cross the border.

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Three scoops 'most reliable network' crown, EE takes every other title

Fortycoats

Coloured Balls

When I hear rootmetrics I somehow think of coloured balls rolling down a ramp. And T-Mobile's Superbowl commercial :-)

I was sick of that Verizon ad when watching NFL Gamepass on Sundays.

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Big Ben belittled by Infosys' plans for enormous erection

Fortycoats

Thought the Saudis had the tallest clock tower

It's in Mecca, over 600m tall

Now THAT'S a vanity project.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraj_Al_Bait

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Hell, high water, and ice: Facebook's Dublin data center choices

Fortycoats

Re: Yes tax

OK, I'll bite. Ireland is an English-speaking country, for all intents and purposes. Irish might be the first official language (according to the constitution), but after having Irish forced down your throat for 13 years of school, most of us couldn't manage to string a sentence together, apart from "An bhfuil cead agam dul go dtí an leithreas?", and possibly the words of the national anthem, but that's about it.

It might have improved in recent years. I wouldn't know: finished school in 1993, emigrated in 2002.

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Post-pub schnellnosh neckfiller: Currywurst

Fortycoats
Flame

Re: The Frankfurt variant - BEEF SAUSAGE !

Ooooh, that reminds me. Have to drop in to Bestworscht while I'm here in Frankfurt for the week!

But as far as Bratwurst goes, there's nothing quite like "Original Thüringer Bratwurst" from a charcoal grill. Grill-Teufel in the middle of Jena is great. Since the wife is from there, I get to sample some everytime we go to visit her parents.

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Dry those eyes, ad blockers are unlikely to kill the internet

Fortycoats

Re: People who use adblockers...

Agree with you werdsmith. And not just internet ads, either.

Some radio ads can be really annoying, and those companies end up on my "Do-not-buy-anything-from-these-gits" list. In fact, I don't even change the radio channel, I switch it off. Silence is better than that rubbish. So the ad-men have achieved the opposite of what they wanted.

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US Catholic Church launches app for Jesus-phone

Fortycoats
Angel

Will it censor "unsuitable" content on your device?

Instead of NSFW content, you'll get notices like "Careful now" or "Down with that sort of thing".

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Germany to fork out BEELLLIONS for farmers' broadband

Fortycoats

Re: 50 Meg Everywhere, eh?

I thought Fuckmuppetosaurus Rex was Horst Seehofer. You know, the party leader who is supposed to stand for "catholic family values", but who has fathered a child with a woman who wasn't his wife. (But that's never mentioned in the media any more)

Pretty much par for the course for the CSU..... the car toll was just to get revenge on the Austrians, who dare to charge Bavarian motorists for using their Autobahns to get to Lake Garda or Rimini. The cheek!

I live in Bavaria, and I can't understand how this shower of Fuckmuppets are in government in this state. And with an absolute majority, too. Michael Mittermaier was right, the east Germans should stop whinging. They got a multi party democracy 25 years ago, the likes of which Bavaria can only dream about.

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BOFH: Why, I LOVE work courses. Please tell me more, o wise one!

Fortycoats
Pint

O'zapft is!

Although this glass is a bit small..... you need a proper Maßkrug :-)

Servus aus Bayern!

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BT Sport website AND app go TITSUP – footie fans weep

Fortycoats

Deutsche Telekom can manage to do it, too. I've had their IPTV service for over 5 years. I'm also subject to the "urban flat / no dish" restriction. Hardly ever had problems, or if there were, they were solved by the tried and tested IT solution: turn it (the set-top box) off and on again. Even a Sky subscription works, although I've ended mine because it was too expensive.

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Robot SHOOTS into the air with hot gas from its soft round behind

Fortycoats
Flame

Cool invention

"Then butane and oxygen are mixed and ignited, exploding the robot into the air."

In other words, it's propelled by lighting its own farts.

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Self/Less: Crap science, eyebrow acting, and immortality for the 1%

Fortycoats

Freejack reloaded?

Didn't Freejack have a similar plot, with the addition of a bit of time travel and Mick Jagger?

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What Murphy’s law has to teach you about data centres

Fortycoats

Obligatory Dilbert

http://dilbert.com/strip/2011-10-02

Reminds me of a former employer, and also why they are a "former" employer.

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Indiana Jones whips Bond in greatest movie character poll

Fortycoats

And what about Jack Burton?

It's all in the reflexes....

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Tim Worstall dances to victory over resources scaremongerers

Fortycoats
Flame

Re: Wish I could have gone.

Yeah, catering companies don't really cater to coeliacs. The 10% was probably salad. But we're used to it by now. BYOB (Bread, not beer)

Mmmmm..... cider.......

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This whopping 16-bit computer processor is being built by hand, transistor by transistor

Fortycoats

Re: Completely and utterly bonkers

Of course it's completely bonkers. It even has an "Igor" (4th module from the left in that basic mock-up diagram). No mad-scientist project is complete without an Igor.

Yeth, marthter......

Well done that man. Hope it works out.

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A server apocalypse can come in different shapes and sizes. Be prepared

Fortycoats
Alert

You forgot the most important point

TESTING!

No matter what your recovery scenario is, be it just restoring from tapes or near-instant failover to a secondary site, it's not worth anything unless it is tested, and tested regularly. Both the systems and the people operating them need to know what to do when the s**t hits the fan, and it should be written down somewhere, preferably in dead-tree format.

A backup that you can't restore is useless, as is a database cluster with mirrored storage that won't switch over when you need it.

Or you could just use the Dilbert version:

http://dilbert.com/strip/2000-08-15

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HP to buy EMC? We think so, say Wall St money men

Fortycoats
Alert

Re: HP is where tech companies go to die

As a former Compaq employee, I have to agree with you. Horrible for employees. And anytime I see the word "Synergy" (i.e. firing people) I feel like inflicting a BOFH-style halon incident (or the cattle-prod) on the person who uttered such nonsense.

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The BBC wants to slap a TAX on EVERYONE in BLIGHTY

Fortycoats

They're just copying the Germans

Unde the old "GEZ" system you paid about €18 per month if you had a TV, around €6 if you had only a radio. Since 2013 it has been changed to a household charge, and every household has to pay full whack, regardless of TV ownership. ('cause you can watch telly on these new-fangled computer things over the Interwebs, y'know)

But unlike auntie, they have loads of ads on public service TV. The main early-evening news on ZDF is basically sponsored by big pharma. Hope the beeb don't go down that route.

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Spotty Ceres baffles boffins with bright patches

Fortycoats

Thought "Airplane 2" already covered this 30 years ago...

http://spacesuitsyou.tumblr.com/post/70685979135/somethings-strange-onboard-airplane-ii-the

Oh, that's strange......

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Drinking games: Tapper 1983, this Bud's for you...

Fortycoats
Pint

I had the C64 version

The graphics weren't as good as the screenshots here, but it was still a fun game.

I seem to remember another way to "die" was if a customer got to the end of the bar, and proceeded to throw you sliding along the bar until you hit the wall :-)

And the stress was when the music got faster and faster, when the bar was almost empty.

Might have to fire up the C64 emulator this evening...... Tapper and Uridium are on the playlist tonight!

Beer----> sliding towards the next punk through the door

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Is it humanly possible to watch Gigli and Battlefield Earth back-to-back?

Fortycoats
Pint

Frikkin' shark movies on SyFy

This was a real endurance test. SyFy had a Shark-Movie day a few months ago, with "movies" like

Ghost Shark

2-Headed Shark Attack

Sharknado

Sharknado 2

one after the other...... I survived. But only thanks to enough drink. Even the ad-breaks didn't provide any respite, with David Hasselhoff promoting Sharknado 2. AAARGH!!

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I'll build a Hyperloop railgun tube-way in Texas, Elon Musk vows

Fortycoats
Coat

Swamp Castle

They said I were mad to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it anyway.

It sank into the swamp.

So I built a second one.

That sank into the swamp.

So I built a third one.

That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp.

But the fourth one... STAYED UP!

Sorry, but that scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail was the first thing that I thought of when reading the first bit of the article.

Still, good luck with the project. Some of Musk's ideas have proved themselves already, so I defnitely won't write him off.

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Saudi Arabia to flog man 1,000 times for insulting religion on Facebook

Fortycoats

Futurama on Religion

I think Futurama (episode on Robotology) summed up any religion pretty good using 2 lines of BASIC code:

10 SIN

20 GOTO HELL

To quote Hitchens again: "Religion poisons everything"

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Quick Q: How many FLOPPIES do I need for 16 MILLION image files?

Fortycoats
Go

Zip Disks!

Ahhh, the memories. The support calls. The dreaded click-of-death that broke disks, which could in turn break other zip drives. Bloody marvellous, especially since at the time I was one of the poor sods on Iomega's tech support located in an overfilled office right above a supermarket in Dublin. (At least I could walk to work back then)

Just a few weeks ago I found my old Zip 100 SCSI drive and disks in the basement. Since I wanted to dump them I wanted to get any possibly useful data off the disks if they were still readable, but my PC doesn't have a free slot for my ancient Adaptec 2940 card. Thankfully I manage to get my paws on my really old machine, which was gathering dust in my in-law's attic. Crikey those fans are loud! At least it had USB, so everything fit on a little USB stick.

Now to deal with that mountain of floppies....... I think the installation disks for DOS 5.0 that came with my first 386 PC are still in there....

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Storage management tools SUCK. We're getting what we pay for

Fortycoats
Devil

Storage "Management" Tools

Yes, storage management tools suck, and have done for years. Tools in various guises have promised to manage all your storage arrays from different vendors in "a single pane of glass" (Yeah, right). Some managed to make nice pictures of your SAN (AppIQ), I plotted my old company's SAN on A0 paper using this. It was nice to hang on the wall and impress people. But for actually managing and provisioning storage, it was faster and easier using native tools, command line and excel......

EMC Control Center wasn't THAT bad. It was good for provisioning DMX-3 storage, and providing some nice reports. The horde of agents was crap, though. Especially the resource-hungry host agents, which filled the local disks with log files and hung for no apparent reason. And you still needed all the native storage tools like HDvM and SYMCLI installed somewhere.

We'll be giving EMC's SRM Suite a test drive soon, and see if anything has improved.

By the way, if you REALLY want to embarrass EMC and make them VERY sheepish, just mention Invista....... (I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it)

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