47 posts • joined 5 Feb 2013
Once Apple convinces all their customers to also buy an iPad for their wrist, sales will double!
No more turning over a USB thing, then turning it over again to plug it in: Reversible socket ready for lift off
USB Type A has a quantum spin of 1 1/2
I'm looking forward to this new plug. No more of this:
1) Attempt to insert USB Type A plug blindly into the back of a device (doesn't go in)
2) Flip plug 180 degrees. Still doesn't go in.
4) Flip plug 180 degrees again. NOW it inserts.
is where the money is at. Smart ones take too much effort to keep happy.
What we really need
How about an app that identifies people you really should stay the heck away from? I could use one of those.
Thank you for your message
I appreciate the time and thought that you put into your recent communication to me. It was very insightful and pertinent to my current situation, and after many moments of contemplation, I believe I was able to comprehend the full depth, meaning, and context of the sage word that you sent me.
I don't know what I did for you recently that you would deem me worthy of taking the time out of your busy schedule to click twice. But thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is generous outpourings of time and effort such as this that make my time on this hunk of rock, speeding through near vacuum at the speed of 108,000 km/h, have meaning.
My Middle Finger
Bought for 1 BTC?
Hope they don't lose this one too.
There aren't very many women starting up tech businesses because they are smarter than that.
Given the "bro" culture, the propensity to build high pressure work environments built more on bull-pucky and egotistical posturing and just flat out mysogyny in tech culture...most women can find better things to do with their time.
Fancy camera company?
Fancy cameras? No.
Sweet little cameras that can go places 'normal' cameras can't (or won't survive), yes.
YouTube would be sadly lacking in fail videos without you, GoPro.
I'm sure you had many valid points...
But seriously, attention spans are measured in milliseconds these days. BRING ON CRASH SWEETS JOURNEY!!!
Now that's a soldering job I can get behind. Sometimes I require a pint or two in order to "steady my hand" before I have a go at it myself!
My instant erase procedure
1) Insert bare drive in external docking bay.
2) Forget to take proper precautions and turn away for a brief moment
3) Resident feline with nickname of "Catastrophe" demolishes the drive, docking bay, definitely chews the crap out of the cable, and knocks any open drink containers over into your PC vents
It's the only way to be sure...
Look at my glass.
Look into filling it with beer.
Now, imagine refilling it each time it becomes empty between now and pub close.
Unleash the dogecoins of war
Sorry, I had to.
Re: Advise for traveling in Russia or China.
So, the Russians should be worried that when they compromise an American journo's laptop, they may infect themselves with a Trojan while they slurp up data?
Let the Games begin!
Time for a documentary
Titled 'King Candy Saga' of course
So, what got stolen?
Bitcoin not being a legally recognized tender effectively makes it no different than, say, "gold mining" in World of Warcraft. Except Bitcoin got rid all those rubbish game mechanics that get in the way.
If a World of Warcraft account gets raided, you appeal to Blizzard and maybe something gets done to redress it.
If someone swipes your Bitcoin data file in a jurisdiction that does not recognize it as legal tender...civil lawsuit and attempt to damages based on...?
All the fun went out of Facebook after the drunktards posting selfies moved on
Re: "Best" is not just a word
Best is a sentence because internet.
It's not that Jobs was a jerk
It's that the jerk died. Got it.
At least they had a shower before they came into the store
I wish them luck and good sales
Tough world, the mobile market is. There's room for a market leader, a worthy competitor, and a plucky underdog. I'd say the first two categories are currently taken, hope you Finnish lads and ladies have a good run at the "plucky underdog".
But wouldn't hurt to have the CV in order just in case it all goes pear shaped.
Go into your phone Settings. Check the section under Device, where when you don't have headphones plugged in, the Beats Audio setting is grayed out and shown to be OFF, with the explanation:
"Beats Audio is not available on phone speaker"
So that ringtone sounds great without Beats Audio.
Wait a second
You mean my account statistics of having attracted 74 upvotes and only 3 downvotes on The Reg forums isn't proof of my winning personality and sterling reputation?
I'm desolated. The only solution is beer.
3D Printing stuff you don't need in the first place isn't a savings
Think of all the money we spent to save money on an item we don't actually need!
Makes me want to go out and buy a bunch of stuff that is "50% off This Weekend Only!" I don't need any of that either, but...THINK OF THE SAVINGS!
wrapping your motor around a [..] telegraph pole
Death by fictional item is always embarrassing for the surviving relatives. I suppose it's less embarrassing than being killed by a Snipe while on a Snipe Hunt.
> can the first horse have existed 4 million years ago, when the world is only 6000 years old?
Should one subscribe to that particular mythology, there is only one logical conclusion:
There was only God before creation. Horse existed before creation. Therefore God is a horse.
Simple, yet profound.
get owned anywhere
Agree with this particular shareholder or not
Sony needs to pull up its britches and make some big boy decisions. They've lost money for years. Made the news recently for having posted a profit for the first time in 5 years(!) this last quarter. Via asset liquidation: selling off a billion dollar building in New York City. Not by anything their business actually produced.
Leadership of the company saying "Trust us, we got a plan" doesn't carry much water here.
Thank goodness for snake oil salespersons
If there weren't an endless stream of "revolutionary" and "all natural" and "organic" food products guaranteed to make your wee filled with unabsorbed vitamins and minerals...people would spend their money on truly horrible things.
Doing an Elop
Nokia did it with Windows Phone. Apple did it with iMovie Pro. Adobe is doing it with Creative Cloud. It's what all the corporate hipsters do these days.
They named them Domino servers, because if you give one them a little push, they all fall down.
Best xkcd ever
Thank you for reminding me of one of my favorite xkcd's ever.
Re: software downloads
You ever go to the Chrome Web Store? It's like being told to go to the Windows Store. Except instead of scrolling horizontally, you scroll vertically. On the plus side, both of em have that "sandbox" thing going on.
My cats just love sandboxes!
We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent. I remember the line from the Capitalist scripture, the Free Market Theory. Dell is trying to persuade the Investors that they should do their duty and sell ownership at a lower price and to impress them, takes on his multi-armed buyout form and says: "Now I am become Death, the destroyer of wealth."
I suppose we all thought that, one way or another.
Nope, not very long. First Apple device I used was an Apple ][. Maybe Apple will announce an Apple ]|[? Now that would be something...
At this point in the hype-cycle, we would have heard about 15 rumorted new features of the iPhone 6, have leaked information on how the next OS X point release was going to have all kinds of stuff in it.
We would have...if there was any sizzle left in Apple these days.
Overlooking the obvious?
Okay. So, they take off so called personally identifiable information after a certain period of time, eh?
But it's still a recording of a punter's voice. Do they run the recording through a voice scrambler of some kind then after 6 months?
I think most people could consider an accurate recording of their voice as potentially being personally identifiable. Potentially identifiable biometric data...
The marketdroids gotta use letters that don't mean anything, see? If they did something sensible, like append the ACTUAL speed of their LTE network as a number after the letters, then they'd be as embarrassed as those blokes referenced in the article, talking about when they'd be delivering the half decade old GSM standard.
Except in this case, they'd be talking about delivering LTE network speeds that are the same from half a decade ago...
April fools is only one day, not a full month
A ring? Seriously? I won't believe it until I see it, and even then, I'll just point and laugh. People thought it was silly to have to wear glasses to watch 3D TV content. Wearing a glowy fashion fail just to change the channel is hilarious.
Time to break out the popcorn....
Shedding a few tears over this Google?
Here's a Kleenex, wipe those tears away...
I thought Steven Fry was brilliant playing himself in 'V for Vendetta'
I'm not yet convinced that electric vehicles that rely soley on battery stored energy will ever be practical in temperate to artic climates. Where I live, it's not uncommon to have 10+ days a year in which the temperature exceeds 100F/38C, and round about the same number of days in which temperatures dip below 0F/-20C.
That's pretty much murder for useful battery life, never mind the stresses of rapid charging at those extreme temperatures.
Electrics with gas generators now, those I see on the roads even in the coldest winter days. Shame they burn dead dinosaurs, but maybe someday another form of chemically stored energy will become practical and replace one or both of the current EV power sources.
Time to think beyond Desktop OS
This subscription/yearly update stuff is crap. That's not what consumers want. Something that works great and does what they need it to is what they want. If it takes you a few years to make something that is so much better that it's worth money again to your customers...good. It's on you to do better if you don't like it.
Adding an ever faster treadmill just reeks of desperation. Make something new that people want. Or you are just greasing your path down the slope on your race to the bottom.
Great spam service
Someone asked what Pinterest is for. I found out the hard way it's a great way to spam someone with an email service that ignores periods (".") in usernames. i.e. Gmail.
I signed up for a Pinterest account back when it was in beta, tried it for about 2 hours, and couldn't figure out what it might do that I wanted. So, logged out, forgot about it.
Months later, some thumbwitted fool changed the email address for their existing account to one that had the same alphanumeric characters, but different pattern of periods delimiting the various sections (none) @gmail.com. Pinterest sent my email address a confirmation, because Gmail considered both email addresses as being one and the same. Okay, no big deal, right?
Well, the fun part was: Pinterest didn't wait for me respond to the change of email confirmation request to confirm or deny signing over this other person's account to my email address. It just did it. So from then on, I effectively got spammed by Pinbot every time this person had activity on their pin boards. Because they had set their account to be that way. It took me a while to figure out what was going on. Pinterest support was non existent, I only ever got an automated mail response whenever I attempted to notify them of their special account hijacking service. I deleted my Pinterest account, that had no effect whatsoever of course, as it wasn't my Pinterest account that was spamming me, it was this lady with many fine recipes for brownies.
So, the only way out of getting spammed by Pinterest because this lady foisted her account off on my Gmail address would be to essentially hijack her account by logging into Pinterest using 'her' email address, initiating a password reset (which would go to my email address) and take full control of her account. Because Pinterest support couldn't be arsed to even respond to the support request.
I admit, in my darker moments, I've contemplated Pinbot bombing one of my friends with Hello Kitty pinterest boards, see how long it takes him to figure it out...
This is my favorite survey response:
"[I had] crazy friends. I did not want to be contacted."
But...but...I thought they were your FRIENDS...oh wait, that word means something completely different on Facebook, never mind....
Sliding down the slope to obsolescence
Those that can: do.
Those that can't: sue.
2007 called, they want their chunky rounded corners back. Come on Apple, give us something that gets us excited again
- JLaw, Kate Upton exposed in celeb nude pics hack
- Google flushes out users of old browsers by serving up CLUNKY, AGED version of search
- China: You, Microsoft. Office-Windows 'compatibility'. You have 20 days to explain
- GCHQ protesters stick it to British spooks ... by drinking urine
- Twitter declines to deny JLaw tweet scrubdown after alleged iCloud NAKED PHOTOS hack