* Posts by Rol

363 posts • joined 24 Jan 2013

Page:

Smart meters set to cost Blighty as much as replacing Trident

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Cost Benefit Analysis?

The current system of monitoring your quarterly bills and then going switch off crazy will still be the overriding methodology of many in this country.

Smart meter or not, those who can afford it will not bother, those that can't afford it are either already keeping a concious eye on their usage, or are part of the blithering idiot sect that deserve to be impoverished.

The entire power usage for my one bed flat is less than £6 per week, it was about £10 until I turned the old freezer off and started shopping more regularly.

It isn't monitoring, the people need more of in this country, it is efficient domestic appliances and Scandinavian standard insulation.

I'd wager a national rip it out Economy7 heater drive would raise millions out of power poverty and see the winter fatality figures for hypothermia reduced to almost zero. Economy 7 storage heaters are a killer in the home, they keep the house warm until about three in the afternoon and then costs significantly more than standard tariff to keep the house warm for the rest of the day.

Personally, I'd see those behind Economy 7, behind bars for manslaughter.

3
1

Britain beats back Argies over Falklands online land grab

Rol
Bronze badge

The worst offender in all of this...

Is the UN. It was in their power to end this dispute once and for all, but chose to do its usual and run away from all obligation to make this world a more peaceful and harmonious place, by facing up to bullies and gangsters.

Please Mr United Nations could you explain what part of the Argentinian argument actual has merit?

I propose the domain .un can be hosted on the moon along with all the futile pointless meetings that have yet to orchestrate anything tangibly useful for this planet.

0
0

Human error to blame as UK data breach investigations surge

Rol
Bronze badge

Plan A isn't working, so here's plan 9

The bods at the Data Protection agency set up a unique fictitious account with every organisation they have registered.

When, (and not if) the usual avalanche of crap arrives, then the good folk of DP will have all the proof they need to shoot the data breachers like dogs in the street.

6
0

Hardcore creationist finds 60-million-year-old fossils in backyard ... 'No, it hasn’t changed my mind about the Bible'

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: God might have dumbed it down into a metaphor

Religion is a crock of shit, granted. Goes without saying really, but God? Well I'd hazard a guess someone had to think up 1+ -1 = 0 for nothing to suddenly become everything.

0
0

Unmasking hidden Tor service users is too easy, say infosec bods

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Anonymous network developed by the US government compromised.

So the NSA know every line of code in the Tor program, indeed some of it might have been their own handy work.

The NSA also knows every node in the system, indeed many of those nodes are kindly supplied by themselves.

The nodes they don't own will no doubt have been targeted with one of their many rootkits and hence is effectively owned by them.

I have never believed any of the hidden, secret, anonymity offering routes into the web to be effective against such a determined player as the NSA or GCHQ for that matter, but for the sake of national security I'll state my preferred hat can also get the best out of a roast chicken, so all you antisocial types carry on regardless.

4
1

Amazon sighs, may slip hands into trousers to pay some UK corp tax

Rol
Bronze badge

They're fast turning into the custodians of what little filthy lucre is still left in this country. TFIFY

0
1

Nominet new CEO opens giant can of worms, sticks head in

Rol
Bronze badge

More worms Berk!!

Don't you open that trapdoor

0
0

Wheely, wheely mad: Petrolheads fume over buggy Formula One app

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: The Ecclestone Effect

It used to work flawlessly, then it required a little teasing...

Now it seems nothing short of a hard spanking while dressed in leather will suffice.

Oh the app! Sorry my mind was drifting.

1
0

ROBOQUAFF! Boffins build smooth robot arm to lift a pint of beer

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: You had a fine article until this point.

My home cooking is best consumed after loosing your palette to a huge dose of chilli or curry.

1
0

PHOTON SPACE SAIL successfully Kickstarted into orbit

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: New El Reg standard unit for thickness?

Reminds me of the Italian nun who had gone to heaven prematurely and was offered the chance to return to Earth as anyone she wanted to be, other than herself, as that wasn't possible.

She pronounced she wanted to return as "Alas Kian Pippa Liny"

"Sorry, who's that again?"

At that she pulled out a newspaper with the headline "Alaskan Pipeline. Laid by 70,000 Men in Three Years"

5
0
Rol
Bronze badge

Re: New El Reg standard unit for thickness?

Modian:- A way of describing the average so that it perfectly fits the argument.

See also, lies, damned lies and statistics.

Palin:- A measure of thickness. A nano Palin is ten to the power minus nine, two short planks.

See also, Alaskan politician.

12
0

Self-STOPPING cars are A Good Thing, say motor safety bods

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Reactions

Yep, After borrowing my bosses car I managed to slam it into the back of a police car in a 50mph zone (the police car had PARKED just beyond the brow of an hill in the middle of the road) Needless to say both vehicles were written off.

Pre ABS I would normally have pumped the brakes to prevent the wheels from locking, but this top of the line car hadn't got ABS and that realisation came too late in the slow motion, life passing moment.

0
0
Rol
Bronze badge

Re: I hope this is programmed right ...

I can see that when this feature becomes ubiquitous, drivers who used to wait to join moving traffic will just pull out and rely on the auto braking of the cars they are cutting up.

It wouldn't be too difficult for the cars system to upload those kinds of inconsiderate and dangerous actions to the Highways Agency for subsequent prosecution and thus allow the police to get back to looking after the general public, not acting as road monitors.

5
2

Mozilla flings teddy out of pram over France's 'Patriot Act'

Rol
Bronze badge

Je suis....

bâtard curieux

which probably doesn't translate to nosey bastard, but it's what I intended

7
0

Chill, luvvies. The ‘unsustainable’ BBC Telly Tax stays – for now

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: We know you, you know!

Might you be referring to the benign masters of Supermarionation, Gerry and Sylvia Anderson.

Did they ever get some consideration from Nintendo for blatantly pinching the name, I wonder.

0
0
Rol
Bronze badge

Re: The BBC helps keep program standards up

Can't help but agree with your sentiments.

Consider how convoluted a consumer affairs programme would be on advert paid TV as they could only ever slate products from companies that don't advertise with them, or are ever likely to.

Top Gear would be just a back slapping fest with no product slagging or negative content what-so-ever.

Hardly what I would call informative, if the true picture is obscured by worries over upsetting the sponsors, not unlike the current state where the government feels empowered to replace the balance of the BBC with an ethical black hole, because they hold the money and they want a different tune.

Perhaps we should remind our masters, it's actually OUR money you're using in a threatening manner?

2
0
Rol
Bronze badge

We know you, you know!

No you bloody well don't. The Tories don't know jack shit about the majority of Britain's feelings.

The British public hated the Poll Tax, yet it happened all the same. It was rejected, hated, railed and rallied against until it finally went. Conversely the British public have no desire to see the demise of the BBC, yet our overlords think otherwise.

If it is just a matter of making the burden of paying for it fairer, then why not bundle it into general taxation and pass a bill making proper funding obligatory for every incumbent at number ten, regardless of whether the BBC supports their warped ideologies or not.

Arrghh! Those money worshipping soulless serpents ...five more dreadful years of jackboot government.. is there no relief, we need International Rescue, but weren't they on he other side (ITV)

1
3

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Tortilla de patatas

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Success! (@Carl W)

Life without a little risk, is no life at all.

4
0
Rol
Bronze badge

Mmm, nice. Inspired to share mine.

1. Put rice on to cook

2. Trawl the salad drawer for spring onions, watercress, rocket, peppers, whatever, chop up and scatter on large plate. Finely diced small / half onion if no spring.

3. Three or more large dollops of mayonnaise in a mug / bowl / the almost empty mayo jar. Add finely chopped / puréed ginger and garlic. Finally a lethal dose of chilli sauce. The aim is to make a very very strongly flavoured sauce, so don't be too timid with the ingredients.

4. Flash cook a tuna steak / use tin opener and plonk in the middle of the plate of salady stuff.

5. Surround the tuna in rice.

6. Drizzle / dollop the sauce over the rice. Crack some black pepper, if you like, on there.

7. The art is not in the preparation, but the eating, balancing the blandness of the rice, the subtle flavour of the tuna and just the right amount of psycho sauce on a fork takes considerable skill.

This is quick and generally all the ingredients in some form or other will be around. I have paid little attention to quantities as it's all personal preference, but as a guide, if you taste the sauce as you make it and find it bearable, you're not quite in the zone.

0
0

So why exactly does almost ALL tech live in Silicon Valley?

Rol
Bronze badge

Another question

If birds of a feather, flock together, then would a few cluster bombs in Dallas sort out the troll problem for good?

0
0

KABOOM! Billionaire fingers dud valve in ROCKET WIBBLE PRANG BLAST

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: hes got money and he is going to spend it

Mmm...perhaps, increasing the surface area of the whole vehicle by deploying a parachute might be counter-productive as not only would the wind be playing greater havoc with the steering, but the hot exhaust gases would undoubtedly interact with the 'chute in so many unpredictable ways that the whole system would be nothing short of chaos

The obvious answer is to present the suppliers of the sub standard valves with the repair bill and push on, knowing that, that's one set of components that will never, ever fail again.

Strange how filthy lucre manages to spur businesses on to greater heights, when traits like, pride and professionalism have clearly failed to inspire.

1
6

DRONE ALONE: US Navy secretary gives up on manned fighters

Rol
Bronze badge

Err!!!

If The Reg could kindly point out to the US navy that it was one of their commentards that proffered the future of combat, some time ago, on these very pages, I'd be willing to split the proceeds 50/50.

Assuming it isn't delivered by a weaponised Amazon drone, that is. In which case, it's all yours.

0
0

Big Brother in SPAACE: Mars One picks first 100 morons to suffocate, er, settle on Red Planet

Rol
Bronze badge

In preparation for the big event I am renewing my commitment to being without a TV.

However I do hope vacuous will not be the trait most sought after by voters with at least some boffins and useful folk making the cut.

3
3

Virgin Media to splurge BEELLIONS on UK network infrastructure expansion

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: And yet...

Yeah, that is pretty poor. Virgin are slightly better with about a ten to one ratio between down and up.

I supposedly have a 20Mbit line that normally runs at about 2MByte down and 150KByte up.

0
0
Rol
Bronze badge

Re: And yet...

Purposefully so. You don't think Virgin is going to let their customers run a server farm on the back of a residentially charged line.

0
1

Your hard drives were RIDDLED with NSA SPYWARE for YEARS

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Ubiquitous Iniquity

Kaspersky has niftily managed to pick up the call home addresses for some hacked computers, which is rather fortunate, as it could quite easily have been an organisation with totally different designs.

That said, an NSA compromised computer is only so until nefarious hackers under a different flag get a shoe in, using the NSA hacks to their own ends.

You may be honest and morally centred, but when it comes to paying the ransom to get your now encrypted data back, you will be just another Mark.

You could try asking the NSA to recover your data as it was their compromising of your system that allowed the hackers to encrypt it, but I fear, the all hearing all seeing organisation, will suddenly become deaf to your protestations and blind to its involvement.

2
0

It's not easy being Green. But WHY insist we knit our own ties?

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Yes, but,

If I can make a cheaper and better chocolate cake using ingredients sourced at retail cost, than a huge company, is it me who is ruining the economy or the company feeding excess profits into the directors off-shore HSBC account?

If the market is working properly, individuals would never find themselves in a position to undercut the big players, that they do in many sectors of trade suggests the market is being controlled by the big players and so the only option left open to the general public, to take back control, is to do it yourself. The markets will soon readjust and the days of excess profits will be no more.

8
7

Ex-NASA boffin dreams of PREDATOR-ish tech in humble microwaves

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: @Kunari 60% Power

My all mechanical microwave is about thirty years old and everything, including the light inside the machine, still works. Conversely the all singing all dancing machines I had in the past became unusable when the pathetic electronic circuitry died within a few years of purchase.

Why am I telling you this? Well it is one of the few bits of "tech", that I own, I can gloat about.

2
0

This optical disc will keep your gumble safe for 2,000 YEARS

Rol
Bronze badge

If 3D laser scanners continue to develop I foresee a time when the entire disc could be placed face up on your coffee table and scanned in one pulse. Also if you are a canny user you will refuse to upgrade from windows 2184 and take advantage of the sheeple skipping their 100Terrapixel to the inch ghost quark scanners that no longer work with Win2185, because some things will never change.

3
0

Has the world reached PEAK TWIT? Supplies of new Twitter users are drying up

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Something is wrong

I've been searching for a lead on how the server industry treat their hard drives from an accountancy perspective, but haven't found anything informative, thus far.

Hard drives must surely be one of the biggest costs for a company like Twitter, but how do they write off their value?

Prudence would suggest they are written off in their first year, despite having a life of about four years or so. Their value on the open market after one year of gruelling use on a server wouldn't amount to much and so the entire cost would hit the profits for the first year.

As Twitter is expanding and hoping to greatly expand I imagine year two sees many more hard drives being bought and similarly posted against that years accounts.

If what I am guessing is right, perhaps next year will show some good profits.

Happy for some insight on this topic, if there are any in the industry who know what their accountants are up to, or indeed accountants who frequent these pages.

1
0

Why Windows 10 on Raspberry Pi 2? Upton: 'I drank the Kool-Aid'

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: When the music died

I had already got the bug to code, as I was fortunate to have had access to many machines that put me straight into a coding environment at the push of the power switch.

MS on the other hand, did little to encourage coding straight out of the box and made it a quite obscure route in for newbies.

1
1
Rol
Bronze badge

Re: When the music died

lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose

lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose

lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose

Not quite one hundred times, but I think you should know I am also flagellating myself.

4
7
Rol
Bronze badge

When the music died

"At what point did you loose your desire to write programs?"

"Well, I never did loose the desire, it was taken away from me"

"Please explain"

"Well I used to write programs on CBM Pets, Dragons, BBC's and ZX80/81's, but then I bought a PC running Windows 98 and for the life of me, it just wasn't obvious where I could merrily start banging in some code."

"You do realise there exists a wealth of Microsoft software out there which would enable you to code in a multitude of languages"

"Well, yes I do now, but back then I expected it to be included in the OS as it was in every other OS I had encountered thus far. The idea I had to get my wallet out again to buy what I assumed was already in their didn't occur to me."

"So what's your problem now?"

"The very idea that Microsoft, the company that sank a generation of would be coders, is about to team up with Rasberry Pi, the flagship device, that is kickstarting a new generation of coders, it's like celebrating your birthday in the local abortionists clinic. It just feels wrong"

"Perhaps MS has seen the light?"

"Yeah! Here, try another pig wing they're delicious"

23
10

China and Russia start again with this UN internet takeover bull****

Rol
Bronze badge

Netopia?

A new state that has no permanent citizens.

Size? Well several buildings scattered around the world, some components within buildings, several billion miles of copper and fibre, several chunks of metal whizzing about the planet and all the blinking routers and modems on the planet.

Governance? Well not any of the governments that want it for themselves, to be sure, but the WW community (WWC) brought together by an oversight committee formed from currently invested bodies.

Every minute detail of how Netopia functions can be debated and voted for on-line by everyone who has an interest.

Foreign Policy. All requests to invade individuals privacy are considered by three judges who are randomly picked from a long list of professionals who have been voted onto that list by the WWC. They are then tasked for that case only to consider the merit of the request, whilst having the protection of anonymity. Other than knowing which country is making a case for intrusion the judges will be unaware who the targeted person/s is/are and therefore cannot themselves be accused of leaking or otherwise compromising a nations security. Obviously countries that are abusing the process will find it more and more difficult to get what they want.

Or something like that. As allowing any one country or cartel to be up to their elbows in the machinations of the net isn't a good thing.

2
0

How's this for customer service: Comcast calls bloke an A**HOLE – and even puts it in print

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Breathtaking

There is a possibility that Comcast will be left holding a dead canary. True, the immediate future looks grim, but technology and a willingness to deploy it, is on the horizon.

Low Earth Orbiting satellites will put a huge dent in fixed line internet, perhaps not immediately, but the demise of digging up roads and laying cable is written.

Consider for a moment the cost of renewing an entire county's fibre / cable / wire over the next few decades verses the deployment of a fleet of satellites. Readily expandable and highly customisable.

0
0
Rol
Bronze badge

Going on down to...hell

I do believe that lawyers representing South Park are suing Comcast for trying to pass themselves off as a joke.

2
0

Top smut site Flashes visitors, leaves behind nasty virus

Rol
Bronze badge

Full protection for your computer?

Might I suggest cling filming your keyboard alongside NoScript and Adblocker.

5
0

Powering the Internet of Stuff – by sucking electricity from TREES

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Energy from a nail in a tree

Not so if the trees decide to do what trees do and leave.

12
0
Rol
Bronze badge

Sleeping Policeman?

I live in Bristol where the local council has been working tirelessly to turn traffic management into a parking issue. They believe that by making cars go really slow they can get to the point traffic is practically classed as parked and therefore perfectly managed.

With that in mind, a sleeping policeman with an hydraulically affected piezoelectric module could see Bristol supplying 95% of the Uk's power needs, whilst still continuing the council's policy of slapping the motorist around the head with a wet fish.

20
1

Switch it off and on again: How peers failed to sneak Snoopers' Charter into terror bill

Rol
Bronze badge

Mmm. Smoke and mirrors, me thinks.

If there's one thing Snowden has shown us, is that, regardless of legislation, the trench coat brigades have no problem accessing whatever it is they want to access. Encryption is nothing other than an irksome delay in the process of unravelling your entire online life.

So why the eagerness to push through a bill that has many frothing at the mouth when it will not deliver any more than what is currently available?

Well. they haven't pushed it through, have they, The whole hullabaloo gives the impression the internet is still a safe place for terrorists to conduct business, as agencies are hamstrung by a lack of legislation.

My betting is this bill will rumble on and on, never getting into law, but forever announcing our surveillance abilities are seriously compromised, with a hope nefarious organisations might feel a little safer to start banging on their keyboards with gusto.

5
2

Fill 'er up: 'Leccy car firm Tesla brings back PUMP SERVICE

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Cartropolis

Yes, true, it's a big world out there and most probably one or two women with as demented a fixation on owning a car as the men who cannot conceive a future without one parked on their drive.

Any suggestion that car ownership will become unnecessary in a driverless future seems to get a tirade of negativity from. yes, men with small penises. While I feel sorry for them, I'm sure it would be better for the planet if they just once responded to the spam offering alternatives to the auto ego stroker.

0
5
Rol
Bronze badge

Cartropolis

Ok. I concede their will still be people out there with diminutive sexual organs and super inflated ego's that will insist the only world worth living in is the one where they own a super dooper car.

For the rest of us, a car will be a purely utilitarian commodity to be used on demand and then cast away.

I bet for many, the car you drive would be better defined as the car you park, as for 95% of the day that is exactly what it is doing, nothing other than taking up space, outside your house, outside your business, outside the shops, outside the cinema....

If when you need a car a simple text is all that is required for a clean, fully charged, electric vehicle to be at your disposal in a matter of minutes, costed by the mile and the minute, then all but your ego stroking will be sated.

Given that these rented vehicles will spend much less than 95% of the time parked up, it isn't beyond logic to see a huge drop in the number of cars required to service the populous and thus less chunks of metal adorning every conceivable parking space.

I welcome criticism of my take on humankind's logical step towards a saner world, but please state your penis size in your response, so I can better understand where you are cumming from.

0
6

Buses? PAH. Begone with your filthy peasant-wagons

Rol
Bronze badge

Driverless. It's the future don't you know.

Driverless cars are the answer, or rather will be the answer in a decade or so.

They could be owned by municipal authorities, businesses or individuals and be allocated to customers based on the nearest available and not the next in line.For that matter, the likes of Ford could decide never to sell a car ever again, but to rent them by the journey.

So, basically, a driverless taxi. Without a family and mortgage to support the cost should plummet.

The booking system would allow the vehicle to be shareable on request and thus lower the cost to the commuter even more by accepting the car will divert to get more customers who are going in your general direction.

With such a responsive and cheap service on hand, the need to own your own car would be negated. The need to fill the road and pavement outside your house with parked cars will be gone, along with the obligatory car park that consumes four fifths of retail sites and the like.

Also, as an individual car no longer has a need to keep going to the end of the day, an electric model with the most pathetic of batteries could do whatever it can manage before heading off to recharge thus making electric cars a very practical option. We could even see motorway services becoming shuttle stops as commuters continue their extended journey in a fully charged car, leaving the one that had got them thus far to recharge.

5
4

US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: science eh?

Yeah! Forget Flame Grilled Whoppers and try Laserated beef medallions at Ruby Rod's Ranchero Cafe.

It's the future of cuisine perfection, don't you know!

Bye, bye microwave, rotisserie, cooker, hob and all, and meet the latest in must have kitchen appliances, the Lightwave multifunction food mangler and intruder dispatcher.

We also supply to crematoriums.

0
0

UK.gov STILL won't pop a cap on stolen mobile bills

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: PAYG

I have a contract phone with VM and was flabbergasted to find my credit limit had been set at 8000% of my normal monthly bill. Yes, eight thousand percent.

I quickly contacted customer services and brought that down to 400%.

Although I must add, their accounting software was designed by Isambard Kingdom Brunel and coded by drunken navvys, so to expect them to stop my phone from going on a spending spree beyond my credit limit might be asking too much.

2
0

UK boffins: We'll have an EMBIGGENED QUANTUM COMPUTER working in 5 YEARS

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Whatever

Perhaps in five years time the many other attempts at quantum computers will show results.

The British experiment might get usurped by a cheaper alternative.

The Q20:20 may just quietly move to Cheltenham and fill a purpose the government would be hard pushed to justify to the public,

"We're investing millions in developing a quantum computer to watch you all" sounds like a step too far.

"We're investing millions in developing a quantum computer to place British ingenuity back on the plinth it should never have fallen off" sounds a lot better, even though the end result will perhaps be the same.

1
1
Rol
Bronze badge

@ Ben Bonsall

"I want to invade Switzerland"

2
0

Snowden doc leak lists submarine'd cables tapped by spooks

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Bullet

@ LucreLout

If anything, the lack of fallout shows our democracy is unfit for purpose.

People across all media have raged on about the injustice yet far from trying to restore the public's faith we see ever more spurious headlines trying to suggest another tranche of pro-snooping legislation is required if we are ever going to save the free world from psychotic goat botherers.

The truth is far more painful. Those in power want to stay in power and if it takes the false flag murder of its own citizens, well that's the price of maintaining the status quo.

Each step towards the Big Brother state, is a step down a one way street. Legislation that seeks to protect us, will NEVER be abolished, but instead, new ever more fantastically managed events will usher in more menaces than an attic full of Beano comics could ever provide.

Do we have a choice? Obviously not. No matter how radical prospective parliamentary parties appear, they will eventually fall into line or fall off a balcony trying.

1
0

Coming clean: Ten cordless vacuum cleaners

Rol
Bronze badge

Re: Why cordless drills came first

I see the ergonomically designed cleaners have all the bumps, edges and throbbing motor parts to satisfy even the most demanding of women, but where are the extensions and hoses for male dusting?

Seems a little sexist.

I foresee a time when A&E never again gets a little light hearted relief from males presenting while attached to Henry the Hoover.

6
0

Page:

Forums