* Posts by Rol

376 posts • joined 24 Jan 2013

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Obsolescence of food is complete: Soylent now comes in bottles

Rol
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I have a doubt.

Part of the gastric system relies on information from your mouth, like chewing and suchlike to prepare the body for what's to come.

The senses in your mouth tell the brain what is going on and the brain in turn tells the stomach, pancreas and associated bits to get a move on.

As I'm sure people who have eaten chewing gum can testify, mimicking eating food doesn't half play havoc with your gut and so, conversely, not giving your gastric system an heads up must have some consequences.

I always considered the "everything you need in one handy serving" would have been like a flapjack, indeed, for about three years I made flapjacks every week, to eat at work. Easy to make, plenty of options for flavouring and if enough consideration has gone into it, a perfect nutritional meal, that provides energy throughout the day.

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Contractors who used Employee Beneficiary Trusts are in HMRC's sights

Rol
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Re: @Rol Pay your tax like everyone else

Sorry to hear that cloud cuckoo land has renewed your passport Gordon 10, but I do believe the current system whereby people are queued up to await life extending treatment, because there isn't enough money to save them all, is still in operation.

Obviously, the more money the exchequer has to throw around, the more these critical services can expand, and maybe, one day, never again will people needlessly die on a waiting list.

Of course, that relies on many factors, one being, people pay their rightful contribution to society, but as we all know, greedy twonks (sorry I had to use that term as it is so not, twatish) just don't know when to stop feeding.

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Rol
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Re: Pay your tax like everyone else

The goalposts have not moved.

An interest free loan is still a loan. It is a debt that you have to finance, and one that you would expect the creditor to still be keen to get back.

When it becomes obvious that none of the normal considerations for debt management have been met by either party, then HMRC can quite legitimately call into question the validity of the contract.

Remember, a contract has to have consideration on both sides, otherwise it's a gift, and thus taxable as such.

If only the grubby, thieving bastards had shown some repayment consideration or at least remembered to mention they still had this debt in subsequent tax returns.

I wonder how many people died through a lack of state financing for the NHS, during this scam?

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UK.gov wants to stop teenagers looking at tits online. No, really

Rol
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I blame the parents

As nearly all have already said, Cameron's thoughts on the subject have no merit what-so-ever. unworkable, impractical and totally useless, for the many reasons already stated.

If he wants to be all caring and thoughtful on shielding children from the more seedier side of the net he must look to the very source of the problem, useless, incompetent, carefree parents.

It is the parents of these children who by inactivity allow their spawn to access porn, when they could quite easily stop it dead.

The family computer could be hard wired (in a soft way) to a family portal where content has been verified as suitable for children. Every site available through a portal like that has already been checked and as a parent you can be assured it's safe.

The rest of us can carry on regardless, on the understanding that we will face prosecution if we allowed minors access to our open access systems to gawk at dirty pillows.

While still not perfect, it's a damned better way of skinning this bunny without destroying the hutch at the same time.

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Hurrah! Windfarms produce whopping ONE PER CENT of EU energy

Rol
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What's needed is a quantum leap in distribution

At any one time someone, somewhere will have a use for excess energy, like the population of America would surely like some of the output from Europe's wind farms, when Europe is fast asleep, and visa versa.

Obviously current methods of power transmission are too inefficient to allow this to be viable, but is there another way?

Enter quantum entanglement. Introduced to me in a very basic and dumbed down way and perhaps very misleading also, but if one half of a Bosun pair could be entangled with an electron, then its corresponding other half could be sat on the next continent.

Admittedly the articles I have read about entanglement are for general consumption and most probably sexed up to frothing levels, but if, as they have all stated, this spooky action, could possibly be used to beam Spock back to the Enterprise, then a mere electron shouldn't tax the boffins too hard.

So, a means of perpetually powering electric cars and sharing power around the world, is within our grasp, or our main stream media needs taking outside and shooting like a dog in the street.

You decide.

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Dough! Dominos didn't register dominos.pizza – and now it's pizz'd off

Rol
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the dominoes effect

and next week it'll be dominos.delivered, followed by dominoes.food followed by dominoes.yummy

I railed against this like most when first mooted some time back and we are being proved right. This is just a huge scam, driven in most part by brands trying to protect themselves, as this case shows. They couldn't care less about the kerching dot kerching domains, but they have to buy them just in case.

What do we care?

Well, as a consumer, I care because all these petty(*) domain costs are being loaded onto my shopping bill and of course the likelihood that I will eventually get suckered by a genuine non-genuine domain that has miraculously found its way to the top of a Google search.

Yes, now you give a damn!

* 70 quid multiplied by the number of food related words in every language in the world isn't a trifling figure.

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You Musk be joking: Tesla's zero to 60MPH in 2.8 SECONDS is literally 'ludicrous'

Rol
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why not a refillable battery?

Admittedly, this would eventually coat the electrodes beyond functionality, but infrequent long hauls wouldn't be a problem.

..and by reversing the process later, you would have a reserve tank of fully charged electrolyte and clean nodes.

So potentially a 600mile run with just one ten minute stop to flush and refill, with a few days of charging and swapping out it would be ready to take you back home again.

I appreciate swapping your brand new or cared for battery for a fully charged one of dubious quality would not appeal to many, but if that quality was measured and factored into the exchange, a fair system could emerge allowing unlimited range.

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Rol
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it's nearly 3am and I can still use a calculator...

so I thought I might as well share it with you 2.73 g assuming acceleration is constant.

If that's the wrong answer I'll get nothing, because I didn't show my workings out.

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Microsoft to Windows 10 consumers: You'll get updates LIKE IT or NOT

Rol
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It's so easy

All of my MS installed computers have one thing in common, they haven't a clue what a Lan cable is or the first idea of how to get on the internet. I purposefully went under the bonnet and ripped everything out connectivity wise and so I am the proud owner of an MS system that does not fight against me at every turn. It also doesn't have endless chats with redmond or give succour to the many trojans and other nefarious shit that linger in my system nagging to call home.

Yes you might have guessed by now, I'm all Linuxed up, and that, to the day I die, will be the only way I go surfing.

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Mozilla loses patience with Flash over Hacking Team, BLOCKS it

Rol
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Multitool

"Thank you"

"You're welcome"

"Wow, your coffee robot is really cool and polite to boot" slurp, slurp. "and really good coffee"

"Yeah, I got it last week and I've never looked back"

"Err, where's it going?"

"Oh it's off to clean the toilet"

"The toilet, but why?"

"Well the makers realised that coffee drinkers tend to have more bowel movements than most and saw fit to make the coffee robot provide a fully comprehensive service"

Splutter, "Please tell me it disinfects it's stirring probe after cleaning around the rim?"

"You know, I can't say I've ever noticed"

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'Ugly Reddit commentards made me doubt humanity'

Rol
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Re: Ugly..The Ultimate Sin

While the articles may have diversified some from before I came to these hallowed pages, I don't really believe the level of humour and corporate pig sticking has quite plummeted to Davy Jones' locker.

For me it is the mix of news, knowledge and savant wit that keeps me coming back.

Basically, if I've learned something of value, I most probably got it from The Reg, and most likely from the comments.

Reddit? Well, I've never been there, although the thought that I could anonymously tell the world to go fuck itself, on my off days, is appealing, but hey where's the fun in telling Reddit readers to do something they are already hard at already.

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Attention dunderheads: Taxpayers are NOT giving businesses £93bn

Rol
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Let's see..

Food, clothing, rent, power, water, council tax, transport, five years of my life in higher education, many more years earning a pittance to attain that coveted crown called experience, entertainment, toiletries,etc. That is no way close to being an exclusive list of costs I have, and have had, to endure to be here today, but as far as the revenue people are concerned, only about £10,000 is considered.

£10,000 ticks off the first 5 elements of my list, so why can a company tick off every minute cost it can conjure up yet I, as an individual, can't.

Or is it a case of fool me, I should have incorporated years ago.

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A quarter of public sector IT workers have never used the cloud

Rol
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Using the cloud is a reference to the technique of knitting fog.

It was developed many years ago by a highly prestigious company, but only available in blue.

These days it is available in many colours, but the mythology that someone can do it quicker and cheaper than you remains.

Some say "Total bollocks", however those less informed think it's "The top bollocks" perhaps they're dyslexic, perhaps they're marketing spin doctors, who knows?

Whatever you do though, do not Google an answer, as the cloud has a fascinating self preservation algorithm that will obfuscate the simplest of answers.

Hope this helps..

Wibble wibble.

Terry Fuckwit

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Smart meters set to cost Blighty as much as replacing Trident

Rol
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Re: Cost Benefit Analysis?

The current system of monitoring your quarterly bills and then going switch off crazy will still be the overriding methodology of many in this country.

Smart meter or not, those who can afford it will not bother, those that can't afford it are either already keeping a concious eye on their usage, or are part of the blithering idiot sect that deserve to be impoverished.

The entire power usage for my one bed flat is less than £6 per week, it was about £10 until I turned the old freezer off and started shopping more regularly.

It isn't monitoring, the people need more of in this country, it is efficient domestic appliances and Scandinavian standard insulation.

I'd wager a national rip it out Economy7 heater drive would raise millions out of power poverty and see the winter fatality figures for hypothermia reduced to almost zero. Economy 7 storage heaters are a killer in the home, they keep the house warm until about three in the afternoon and then costs significantly more than standard tariff to keep the house warm for the rest of the day.

Personally, I'd see those behind Economy 7, behind bars for manslaughter.

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Britain beats back Argies over Falklands online land grab

Rol
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The worst offender in all of this...

Is the UN. It was in their power to end this dispute once and for all, but chose to do its usual and run away from all obligation to make this world a more peaceful and harmonious place, by facing up to bullies and gangsters.

Please Mr United Nations could you explain what part of the Argentinian argument actual has merit?

I propose the domain .un can be hosted on the moon along with all the futile pointless meetings that have yet to orchestrate anything tangibly useful for this planet.

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Human error to blame as UK data breach investigations surge

Rol
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Plan A isn't working, so here's plan 9

The bods at the Data Protection agency set up a unique fictitious account with every organisation they have registered.

When, (and not if) the usual avalanche of crap arrives, then the good folk of DP will have all the proof they need to shoot the data breachers like dogs in the street.

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Hardcore creationist finds 60-million-year-old fossils in backyard ... 'No, it hasn’t changed my mind about the Bible'

Rol
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Re: God might have dumbed it down into a metaphor

Religion is a crock of shit, granted. Goes without saying really, but God? Well I'd hazard a guess someone had to think up 1+ -1 = 0 for nothing to suddenly become everything.

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Unmasking hidden Tor service users is too easy, say infosec bods

Rol
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Re: Anonymous network developed by the US government compromised.

So the NSA know every line of code in the Tor program, indeed some of it might have been their own handy work.

The NSA also knows every node in the system, indeed many of those nodes are kindly supplied by themselves.

The nodes they don't own will no doubt have been targeted with one of their many rootkits and hence is effectively owned by them.

I have never believed any of the hidden, secret, anonymity offering routes into the web to be effective against such a determined player as the NSA or GCHQ for that matter, but for the sake of national security I'll state my preferred hat can also get the best out of a roast chicken, so all you antisocial types carry on regardless.

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Amazon sighs, may slip hands into trousers to pay some UK corp tax

Rol
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They're fast turning into the custodians of what little filthy lucre is still left in this country. TFIFY

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Nominet new CEO opens giant can of worms, sticks head in

Rol
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More worms Berk!!

Don't you open that trapdoor

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Wheely, wheely mad: Petrolheads fume over buggy Formula One app

Rol
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Re: The Ecclestone Effect

It used to work flawlessly, then it required a little teasing...

Now it seems nothing short of a hard spanking while dressed in leather will suffice.

Oh the app! Sorry my mind was drifting.

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ROBOQUAFF! Boffins build smooth robot arm to lift a pint of beer

Rol
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Re: You had a fine article until this point.

My home cooking is best consumed after loosing your palette to a huge dose of chilli or curry.

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PHOTON SPACE SAIL successfully Kickstarted into orbit

Rol
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Re: New El Reg standard unit for thickness?

Reminds me of the Italian nun who had gone to heaven prematurely and was offered the chance to return to Earth as anyone she wanted to be, other than herself, as that wasn't possible.

She pronounced she wanted to return as "Alas Kian Pippa Liny"

"Sorry, who's that again?"

At that she pulled out a newspaper with the headline "Alaskan Pipeline. Laid by 70,000 Men in Three Years"

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Rol
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Re: New El Reg standard unit for thickness?

Modian:- A way of describing the average so that it perfectly fits the argument.

See also, lies, damned lies and statistics.

Palin:- A measure of thickness. A nano Palin is ten to the power minus nine, two short planks.

See also, Alaskan politician.

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Self-STOPPING cars are A Good Thing, say motor safety bods

Rol
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Re: Reactions

Yep, After borrowing my bosses car I managed to slam it into the back of a police car in a 50mph zone (the police car had PARKED just beyond the brow of an hill in the middle of the road) Needless to say both vehicles were written off.

Pre ABS I would normally have pumped the brakes to prevent the wheels from locking, but this top of the line car hadn't got ABS and that realisation came too late in the slow motion, life passing moment.

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Rol
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Re: I hope this is programmed right ...

I can see that when this feature becomes ubiquitous, drivers who used to wait to join moving traffic will just pull out and rely on the auto braking of the cars they are cutting up.

It wouldn't be too difficult for the cars system to upload those kinds of inconsiderate and dangerous actions to the Highways Agency for subsequent prosecution and thus allow the police to get back to looking after the general public, not acting as road monitors.

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Mozilla flings teddy out of pram over France's 'Patriot Act'

Rol
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Je suis....

bâtard curieux

which probably doesn't translate to nosey bastard, but it's what I intended

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Chill, luvvies. The ‘unsustainable’ BBC Telly Tax stays – for now

Rol
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Re: We know you, you know!

Might you be referring to the benign masters of Supermarionation, Gerry and Sylvia Anderson.

Did they ever get some consideration from Nintendo for blatantly pinching the name, I wonder.

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Rol
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Re: The BBC helps keep program standards up

Can't help but agree with your sentiments.

Consider how convoluted a consumer affairs programme would be on advert paid TV as they could only ever slate products from companies that don't advertise with them, or are ever likely to.

Top Gear would be just a back slapping fest with no product slagging or negative content what-so-ever.

Hardly what I would call informative, if the true picture is obscured by worries over upsetting the sponsors, not unlike the current state where the government feels empowered to replace the balance of the BBC with an ethical black hole, because they hold the money and they want a different tune.

Perhaps we should remind our masters, it's actually OUR money you're using in a threatening manner?

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Rol
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We know you, you know!

No you bloody well don't. The Tories don't know jack shit about the majority of Britain's feelings.

The British public hated the Poll Tax, yet it happened all the same. It was rejected, hated, railed and rallied against until it finally went. Conversely the British public have no desire to see the demise of the BBC, yet our overlords think otherwise.

If it is just a matter of making the burden of paying for it fairer, then why not bundle it into general taxation and pass a bill making proper funding obligatory for every incumbent at number ten, regardless of whether the BBC supports their warped ideologies or not.

Arrghh! Those money worshipping soulless serpents ...five more dreadful years of jackboot government.. is there no relief, we need International Rescue, but weren't they on he other side (ITV)

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Tortilla de patatas

Rol
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Re: Success! (@Carl W)

Life without a little risk, is no life at all.

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Rol
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Mmm, nice. Inspired to share mine.

1. Put rice on to cook

2. Trawl the salad drawer for spring onions, watercress, rocket, peppers, whatever, chop up and scatter on large plate. Finely diced small / half onion if no spring.

3. Three or more large dollops of mayonnaise in a mug / bowl / the almost empty mayo jar. Add finely chopped / puréed ginger and garlic. Finally a lethal dose of chilli sauce. The aim is to make a very very strongly flavoured sauce, so don't be too timid with the ingredients.

4. Flash cook a tuna steak / use tin opener and plonk in the middle of the plate of salady stuff.

5. Surround the tuna in rice.

6. Drizzle / dollop the sauce over the rice. Crack some black pepper, if you like, on there.

7. The art is not in the preparation, but the eating, balancing the blandness of the rice, the subtle flavour of the tuna and just the right amount of psycho sauce on a fork takes considerable skill.

This is quick and generally all the ingredients in some form or other will be around. I have paid little attention to quantities as it's all personal preference, but as a guide, if you taste the sauce as you make it and find it bearable, you're not quite in the zone.

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So why exactly does almost ALL tech live in Silicon Valley?

Rol
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Another question

If birds of a feather, flock together, then would a few cluster bombs in Dallas sort out the troll problem for good?

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KABOOM! Billionaire fingers dud valve in ROCKET WIBBLE PRANG BLAST

Rol
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Re: hes got money and he is going to spend it

Mmm...perhaps, increasing the surface area of the whole vehicle by deploying a parachute might be counter-productive as not only would the wind be playing greater havoc with the steering, but the hot exhaust gases would undoubtedly interact with the 'chute in so many unpredictable ways that the whole system would be nothing short of chaos

The obvious answer is to present the suppliers of the sub standard valves with the repair bill and push on, knowing that, that's one set of components that will never, ever fail again.

Strange how filthy lucre manages to spur businesses on to greater heights, when traits like, pride and professionalism have clearly failed to inspire.

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DRONE ALONE: US Navy secretary gives up on manned fighters

Rol
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Err!!!

If The Reg could kindly point out to the US navy that it was one of their commentards that proffered the future of combat, some time ago, on these very pages, I'd be willing to split the proceeds 50/50.

Assuming it isn't delivered by a weaponised Amazon drone, that is. In which case, it's all yours.

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Big Brother in SPAACE: Mars One picks first 100 morons to suffocate, er, settle on Red Planet

Rol
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In preparation for the big event I am renewing my commitment to being without a TV.

However I do hope vacuous will not be the trait most sought after by voters with at least some boffins and useful folk making the cut.

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Virgin Media to splurge BEELLIONS on UK network infrastructure expansion

Rol
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Re: And yet...

Yeah, that is pretty poor. Virgin are slightly better with about a ten to one ratio between down and up.

I supposedly have a 20Mbit line that normally runs at about 2MByte down and 150KByte up.

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Rol
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Re: And yet...

Purposefully so. You don't think Virgin is going to let their customers run a server farm on the back of a residentially charged line.

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Your hard drives were RIDDLED with NSA SPYWARE for YEARS

Rol
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Re: Ubiquitous Iniquity

Kaspersky has niftily managed to pick up the call home addresses for some hacked computers, which is rather fortunate, as it could quite easily have been an organisation with totally different designs.

That said, an NSA compromised computer is only so until nefarious hackers under a different flag get a shoe in, using the NSA hacks to their own ends.

You may be honest and morally centred, but when it comes to paying the ransom to get your now encrypted data back, you will be just another Mark.

You could try asking the NSA to recover your data as it was their compromising of your system that allowed the hackers to encrypt it, but I fear, the all hearing all seeing organisation, will suddenly become deaf to your protestations and blind to its involvement.

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It's not easy being Green. But WHY insist we knit our own ties?

Rol
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Re: Yes, but,

If I can make a cheaper and better chocolate cake using ingredients sourced at retail cost, than a huge company, is it me who is ruining the economy or the company feeding excess profits into the directors off-shore HSBC account?

If the market is working properly, individuals would never find themselves in a position to undercut the big players, that they do in many sectors of trade suggests the market is being controlled by the big players and so the only option left open to the general public, to take back control, is to do it yourself. The markets will soon readjust and the days of excess profits will be no more.

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Ex-NASA boffin dreams of PREDATOR-ish tech in humble microwaves

Rol
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Re: @Kunari 60% Power

My all mechanical microwave is about thirty years old and everything, including the light inside the machine, still works. Conversely the all singing all dancing machines I had in the past became unusable when the pathetic electronic circuitry died within a few years of purchase.

Why am I telling you this? Well it is one of the few bits of "tech", that I own, I can gloat about.

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This optical disc will keep your gumble safe for 2,000 YEARS

Rol
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If 3D laser scanners continue to develop I foresee a time when the entire disc could be placed face up on your coffee table and scanned in one pulse. Also if you are a canny user you will refuse to upgrade from windows 2184 and take advantage of the sheeple skipping their 100Terrapixel to the inch ghost quark scanners that no longer work with Win2185, because some things will never change.

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Has the world reached PEAK TWIT? Supplies of new Twitter users are drying up

Rol
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Re: Something is wrong

I've been searching for a lead on how the server industry treat their hard drives from an accountancy perspective, but haven't found anything informative, thus far.

Hard drives must surely be one of the biggest costs for a company like Twitter, but how do they write off their value?

Prudence would suggest they are written off in their first year, despite having a life of about four years or so. Their value on the open market after one year of gruelling use on a server wouldn't amount to much and so the entire cost would hit the profits for the first year.

As Twitter is expanding and hoping to greatly expand I imagine year two sees many more hard drives being bought and similarly posted against that years accounts.

If what I am guessing is right, perhaps next year will show some good profits.

Happy for some insight on this topic, if there are any in the industry who know what their accountants are up to, or indeed accountants who frequent these pages.

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Why Windows 10 on Raspberry Pi 2? Upton: 'I drank the Kool-Aid'

Rol
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Re: When the music died

I had already got the bug to code, as I was fortunate to have had access to many machines that put me straight into a coding environment at the push of the power switch.

MS on the other hand, did little to encourage coding straight out of the box and made it a quite obscure route in for newbies.

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Rol
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Re: When the music died

lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose

lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose

lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose lose

Not quite one hundred times, but I think you should know I am also flagellating myself.

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When the music died

"At what point did you loose your desire to write programs?"

"Well, I never did loose the desire, it was taken away from me"

"Please explain"

"Well I used to write programs on CBM Pets, Dragons, BBC's and ZX80/81's, but then I bought a PC running Windows 98 and for the life of me, it just wasn't obvious where I could merrily start banging in some code."

"You do realise there exists a wealth of Microsoft software out there which would enable you to code in a multitude of languages"

"Well, yes I do now, but back then I expected it to be included in the OS as it was in every other OS I had encountered thus far. The idea I had to get my wallet out again to buy what I assumed was already in their didn't occur to me."

"So what's your problem now?"

"The very idea that Microsoft, the company that sank a generation of would be coders, is about to team up with Rasberry Pi, the flagship device, that is kickstarting a new generation of coders, it's like celebrating your birthday in the local abortionists clinic. It just feels wrong"

"Perhaps MS has seen the light?"

"Yeah! Here, try another pig wing they're delicious"

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China and Russia start again with this UN internet takeover bull****

Rol
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Netopia?

A new state that has no permanent citizens.

Size? Well several buildings scattered around the world, some components within buildings, several billion miles of copper and fibre, several chunks of metal whizzing about the planet and all the blinking routers and modems on the planet.

Governance? Well not any of the governments that want it for themselves, to be sure, but the WW community (WWC) brought together by an oversight committee formed from currently invested bodies.

Every minute detail of how Netopia functions can be debated and voted for on-line by everyone who has an interest.

Foreign Policy. All requests to invade individuals privacy are considered by three judges who are randomly picked from a long list of professionals who have been voted onto that list by the WWC. They are then tasked for that case only to consider the merit of the request, whilst having the protection of anonymity. Other than knowing which country is making a case for intrusion the judges will be unaware who the targeted person/s is/are and therefore cannot themselves be accused of leaking or otherwise compromising a nations security. Obviously countries that are abusing the process will find it more and more difficult to get what they want.

Or something like that. As allowing any one country or cartel to be up to their elbows in the machinations of the net isn't a good thing.

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How's this for customer service: Comcast calls bloke an A**HOLE – and even puts it in print

Rol
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Re: Breathtaking

There is a possibility that Comcast will be left holding a dead canary. True, the immediate future looks grim, but technology and a willingness to deploy it, is on the horizon.

Low Earth Orbiting satellites will put a huge dent in fixed line internet, perhaps not immediately, but the demise of digging up roads and laying cable is written.

Consider for a moment the cost of renewing an entire county's fibre / cable / wire over the next few decades verses the deployment of a fleet of satellites. Readily expandable and highly customisable.

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Rol
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Going on down to...hell

I do believe that lawyers representing South Park are suing Comcast for trying to pass themselves off as a joke.

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