* Posts by Ken Y-N

82 posts • joined 10 Jan 2013

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Nork-ribbing flick The Interview AXED: Sony caves under hack terror 'menace'

Ken Y-N
Mushroom

Re: NORKs ought to fund assassination of POTUS, staring Jackie Chan and Lucy Liu

The NORKs did this, basically, last year:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/9939715/N-Korea-video-shows-Washington-under-attack.html

"another [...] depicted US soldiers and President Barack Obama burning in the flames of a nuclear blast."

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Technology quiz reveals that nobody including quiz drafters knows anything about IT

Ken Y-N

9 out of 12

I didn't know that Zuckerberg went to Harvard, but I read that question as meaning "Which was the first university to have an official public presence on Facebook?" not "Which university's students was Facebook first made available to?"

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Apple seeks patent for user-configurable progress bar

Ken Y-N

Looks more like one for Gantt charts

As the task gets closer to being complete, the colour changes then, as the diagram in the story suggests, there is a sub-display that shows, for example. how behind schedule a task might be.

I can see it being moderately useful for project planning - for instance, highlighting something is, say, 20% behind schedule with only 10% of the allotted time left but not highlighting when 20% behind but still 60% of the time left.

Whether it is patentable, of course, is a completely different argument.

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Has your STARFISH been DRIBBLING awful SLIME? Scientists now know WHY

Ken Y-N
Black Helicopters

I'll probably get depressed if I search, but I suspect their new line will be "Fookooshimar Fallout caused the virus to mutate!"

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Heyyy! NICE e-bracelet you've got there ... SHAME if someone were to SUBPOENA it

Ken Y-N

...and I further promise

Not to give it to my granny for her to wear.

11
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You know where Apple Pay is getting used a LOT? Yes - McDonalds

Ken Y-N
Linux

Here in the land of the rising bonk

Just this week I moved up to the Tokyo region, so needed to pay my train commute. Rather than spend 500 yen to buy a Suica card (Oyster equivalent) I downloaded a Suica app to my Android phone, charged 3,000 yen to my card via carrier billing, and Bobbu-san was my uncle.

Penguin as the Suica mascot is one.

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Hackers plunder Hilton 'HHonors' rewards points, go on shopping spree

Ken Y-N
Joke

As the old joke goes

She HHoffered HHer HHonor, HHe HHonored HHer HHoffer, so all night long it was HHon HHer and HHoff HHer.

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1

Would you blow $5.6m to own a dot-word? Meet a bloke who did just that

Ken Y-N
Coat

A .realty terrible waste of money

https://ill-get-my.coat

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Would Apple godhead Steve Jobs have HATED the Watch?

Ken Y-N
Stop

"a few secrets" or...

...it doesn't quite work right yet? I'd put my money on the second, as reviews I have seen have said that people were allowed to wear it, but it only ran a looping demo.

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1

Summon a beer wench by mobe at baseball

Ken Y-N
Pint

Summon a beer wench by mobe at baseball

At Japanese rounders games in Osaka Kyocera Dome, you can summon a beer-bearing bird via an app that uses Bluetooth LE in your seat to locate yourself.

Japanese story here

Passable Google translation

(In Japan, baseball stadiums have beer girls who wander the stands with a barrel on their backs, ready to serve those in need of refreshment.)

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… or are you just happy to see me?

Ken Y-N
Black Helicopters

Man arrested for stuffing chopper in sporran

Surely a better headline?

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New Star Wars movie plot details leak, violate common sense and laws of physics

Ken Y-N
Pint

Re: Please let this not be true...

I thought you meant Father Jack - now that would really be fecking awesome!

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iFind: Critics slam Kickstarter campaign for miraculous battery-free phone finder

Ken Y-N
Stop

Re: Dr Paul McArthur

Just checked the US6788199; in the introductory summary blurb it says:

> The transceiver, also referred to as a tag, is battery powered

Oops. US7148801 also mentions that there is "usually a battery" with active RFID tags. Therefore neither patent involves the battery-free concept. There could, of course, be a pending application, but...

0
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Ukrainian teen created in lab passes Turing Test – famous nutty prof

Ken Y-N

I can't find the story again, but...

A couple of years ago I read a story in the Telegraph (?) where the reporter was the human control for the Turing Test. The thing I noted as odd was that they were primed to pretend to be a computer, so it was really more a test of which was better at pretending to be what they weren't.

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Former Microsoftie becomes US ambassador, opts to swear in on KINDLE

Ken Y-N

Looking at the picture, I see...

It's amendment 19 of the US Constitution that she's swearing on, which is about female suffrage.

Quite ironic, though, since she was appointed, and on the basis of her being a big fundraiser.

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Kardashian's bottom plumps down on Instagram throne

Ken Y-N

What is

Instagram?

11
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Mt Gox's 'transaction malleability' claim rubbished by researchers

Ken Y-N
FAIL

"Only" [19.46% malleability attacks] were successful?

I don't think Visa would claim that "only" one in five fraudulent card uses are undetected or Lloyds that "only" one in five bank robbers got away with the swag, and of course the other 4 out of 5 have disappeared empty-handed into the ether or alternatively came back the next four days to see which would be their lucky day.

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Tokyo to TXT warning of incoming Norks nukes

Ken Y-N
Mushroom

Given that Japan has had smileys for so long, there will be no need for text speak; I predict it will be either:

INCOMING! *frowny face* *mushroom cloud* *pile of poo*

Or the option for Shibes:

So ronery. Much boom. Wow.

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Winklevoss twins say their Bitcoins will take them to SPAAAAACE

Ken Y-N

Pah, near space with BitCoin?

Dogecoin is going to the moon!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDTG6THP330

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Your 'funny' cat pics are weighing down the web, so here's a better JPEG encoder from Mozilla

Ken Y-N

What about a GIF squasher too?

Browsing Google+ (yes, some people do actually use it!) I find rather a lot of animated GIFs that appear to take up a lot of bandwidth, and also have a habit of autoloading. I always feel that said GIFs are actually larger than the video stream they were built from...

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MtGox: Yup, we're pretty sure your Bitcoin were stolen. Sorry about that.

Ken Y-N
FAIL

That read like a 419 spam!

All he needs to do is mention his modalities and how his parents were killed in a plane crash.

Your's In Christ

KenYN

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Microsoft to get in XP users' faces with one last warning

Ken Y-N
Go

Woo hoo! Phishing opportunities galore!

I expect, indeed I will be disappointed by the lack of foresight by the scammers if it doesn't happen, to see a story on El Reg on the 8th talking about evil redirects and fake popups appearing on XP users' computers mimicking the illustrated message box.

I also expect El Reg to publish a bunch of pics of the message box on ATMs, traffic signs, supermarket tills etc, etc.

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Github brews text editor for developers

Ken Y-N
Paris Hilton

Umm, what?

I'm feeling all a bit Paris Hilton-y here trying to work out what on earth the editor is supposed to be giving me. As hinted above, perhaps it is like Emacs with Javascript instead of Lisp, but that doesn't really help me either. I think I'll stick with Notepad.

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Fukushima radioactivity a complete non-issue on West Coast: Also for Fukushima locals, in fact

Ken Y-N

Re: Fukushima radiation undetectable?

That's water levels on site, as would have been obvious if you hadn't used "..." to omit that information, and of course, who would be drinking on-site water anyway? Japan's standards for drinking water is 10 becquerels per litre of cesium, lower than most of the rest of the world.

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Woman claims she was assaulted in Google Glass 'HATE CRIME'

Ken Y-N
FAIL

Pussy, please

Presumably Mrs Slocombe was upset because the person ran off with Glass video of her stroking her pussy.

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MtGox boss vows to keep going despite $429 MILLION Bitcoin 'theft'

Ken Y-N
FAIL

"not lost yet, just temporarily unavailable"

"He's not dead, he's just pining for the fjords"

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China in the grip of a 'NUCLEAR WINTER': Smog threat to crops

Ken Y-N
Thumb Down

Re: They advantage of an autocratic country

The rest of the world includes South Korea and Japan, both of which are downwind of China, and indeed here in Osaka, Japan today we got our first-ever PM2.5 warning to avoid going out without a mask.

Here's a PM2.5 site - as you can probably guess, red and black markers are not good!

http://pm25.jp/

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Google warns Glass wearers: Quit being 'CREEPY GLASSHOLES'

Ken Y-N
Gimp

Here in Japan, shutter sounds are mandatory

As is the recording light, the main reason being to prevent upskirt photos and other pervie behaviour.

Funnily enough, a recent survey found that at least one in five smartphone photographers here use silent cameras apps.

http://whatjapanthinks.com/2013/11/25/worryingly-significant-number-of-japanese-use-silent-camera-apps/

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Google slurps sound-powered security upstart SlickLogin

Ken Y-N

Without watching the video...

...I would bet that when you get to the PC login screen it sends an SMS/IM to your registered phone, which picks this up and switches on your microphone - it's not going to be constantly listening.

Furthermore, it would make sense to also have a configuration option whereby you could also require your phone to be unlocked before the app activates.

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Japanese fanboi first in queue for, er, iPhone 6

Ken Y-N
Headmaster

I'll have a go at translation

"I'm the world's fastest queuer for the iPhone 6, and I've got email in English from Brazilian and UK news sites. Wish me luck as I have to reply..."

It's all a bit slangy, so no wonder Google Translate falls down.

And can I suggest an NSFW tag on his Twitter feed as he is now showing his chocolate willy there.

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Baby's got the bends: LG's D958 G Flex Android smartie

Ken Y-N

Re: "strange text on the back"

Olleh would appear to be KT's (Korea Telecom?) brand:

http://www.ktexpatblog.com/

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Fujitsu launches lappie for oldies

Ken Y-N
Thumb Up

Here's the specs

In Japanese, but relatively easy to understand:

http://www.fmworld.net/fmv/ah_g/1402/spec/

8 GB RAM seems generous, and 4 USB 3.0 ports, 1920x1080 15.6 inch screen, and 10.5 hour battery life.

Keyboard is 18.4mm keypitch and 3.0mm keystroke (travel?)

According to their own web store, with a 10% discount coupon it is a pension-abusing 197,820 yen, or just a tad under 1,200 quid.

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Cryptocurrencies now being pooped out by cartoon cat

Ken Y-N

Next up is BadgerBadgerBadgerCoin?

Using this site http://coingen.bluematt.me/ I'm going to get in on the retro-meme/coin action with AllYourCoinAreBelongToUs

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Mountain bike mishap man suffers SEVEN WEEK stiffie

Ken Y-N
Paris Hilton

So, he had a stiffie for five weeks before going to the docs?

It reminds me of an old joke:

A woman walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, "My husband's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken." The quack says, "Why don't you bring him in to see me?" "I would but I need the eggs."

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Google gobbles Wi-Fi thermostat maker Nest for $3.2 BEEELLION IN CASH

Ken Y-N
Terminator

In Japan...

Almost all the major air conditioner brands do in fact now have infra-red sensors in them to detect when people look hot or cold. And Sharp's Cocorobo (Roomba-alike) speaks to you and will on command trundle over to the air conditioner to switch it on and off.

"Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to turn down the aircon. Call that job satisfaction?"

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Big goolies-grabbing black snake nips unlucky bloke's trouser snake

Ken Y-N
Paris Hilton

In first with the Paris Hilton angle

Suck the poison out and whatnot.

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OMG, Andrex KILLED the PUPPY! Not quilty, exclaim bog roll boys

Ken Y-N
Stop

That reminds me...

A FaecesBook puppy-fancier commented "I've not used it before but the thought of wiping up with paper covered in butter is a bit off-putting, yet intriguing."

The recollection of stories and rumours from my youth about "butter dogs" (I don't recommend Googling it) popped up on reading that...

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Japanese mobes to stop punters TXTing themselves under a bus

Ken Y-N

Re: or press and hold the power button to get five vital extra seconds.

Maybe it's like the stupid IRC trick of telling the newbie to hold the ALT key then press F4 to activate the sekrit menu?

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On the matter of shooting down Amazon delivery drones with shotguns

Ken Y-N
Boffin

Being a bunch of geeks here...

Shouldn't we be talking about overriding the GPS signal to guide it safely to our own destination? If the Iranians can do it with a military drone, it shouldn't be much problem to knock up a Raspberry Pi-based solution?

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Amazon floats 'Prime Air' drone delivery plan

Ken Y-N
Black Helicopters

If it flies over the rougher areas of town...

This seems like a great variation on the crane game - shoot one down, win a mystery prize if it doesn't shatter into millions of pieces on hitting the tarmac.

Black helicopters as I reckon they'll need the armed escorts.

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Confessions of a porn site boss: How I got it up on the 'net

Ken Y-N
Gimp

A leading Japanese online pr0n distributor is called...

...Soft On Demand.

But, Japanese pr0n sites seem stuck in the West's 1990's heydays. Thumbnails (usually DVD covers linking back to said SOD web site), affiliate banners, personal site interlinking, pop-ups, pop-unders, top site rankings, etc, etc, and if you finally manage to find a link to a .torrent that actually works, you end up with a yet another pixellated-fannied schoolgirl who squeaks like a dog chew toy while getting poked by an anonymous pixellated knob.

So a friend tells me anyway.

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Sony patents LASER-FIRING Wi-Fi SMARTWIG with sideburn buttons

Ken Y-N
Terminator

Does it come in shark size?

Fortunately, I don't think their fins can reach their sideburns to fire the frickin' laser beams,

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TOXIC DOLPHIN SANDWICH on the menu, say hacktivists

Ken Y-N
Stop

The numbers don't add up

> It claims officials in Taiji have bribed central government to allow this export trade, which it says pulls in annual sales of over $850m

If we take a high-end wholesale price for tuna of around US$30 per kilo, that would make 28,300 tonnes of dolphin a year. A dolphin can weigh about 500 kg, and assuming it gets sold bones and all, that makes 56,600 dolphins-worth. Taiji catches up to 2,400 dolphins per year, perhaps 13% (probably more) of the nationwide catch, or about 18,500 dolphins. So either they are getting US$100 or more per kilo for tinned dolphuna, or they are Making Shit Up.

Confusing dollars and yen could be possible, of course, to give a figure of $8.5 million, but the only export I would expect would be as a mystery meat in pet food.

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Brit boffin brews INSTANT HANGOVER RELIEF

Ken Y-N
Pint

Hmm, I cannot really see what market he is trying to tap here, as getting drunk without beer sounds worse that getting a hangover from low-alcohol beers (yes, I do get them!) without having the buzz.

The only two places it might be of use would be in-patient alcoholics and perhaps to keep astronauts happy up in the space station.

On the other hand, if you get the beer goggles effect without the trouser issues, I can see a use if one's partner is a minger...

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Google's MYSTERY barges floating off US shores: The TRUTH

Ken Y-N
Terminator

My current wild speculation is:

This fits in with the latest "revelation", and would match the size of these barges and suits the Google image:

A massive Google Glass-enhanced laser tag site.

Throw in some haptic feedback kit from their black projects division, and you could be a good way along to realising the Star Trek Holodeck.

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Baldness fix from foreskin follicles

Ken Y-N
WTF?

Let me get this straight...

...they circumcised new-born human babies, grafted the foreskin onto a mouse, then plan to transfer the resultant hair back to an adult head?

I'd rather continue balding, thank you very much.

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Rorschach test suggested as CAPTCHA replacement

Ken Y-N

Can we combine it with yesterday's ketchup CAPTHCA?

Use blotches of tomato and brown sauce instead.

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Loathed wiggly-word CAPTCHAs morph into 'fun' click-'n'-drag games

Ken Y-N
Headmaster

Ugg, grocer's apostrophe in that sample

Move the sweet chilli's *WHAT?* to the ketchup.

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Former Microsoftie in AUTOMATIC BEER MAKER funding plea

Ken Y-N
Pint

Only brews beer up to 3.7% ABV

Because 6.40 degrees proof ought to be enough for anybody.

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