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* Posts by AbelSoul

244 posts • joined 8 Jan 2013

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Man's future in space ... Barack Obama: Mars. Narendra Modi: Mars. Vladimir Putin: Er, Moon

AbelSoul
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Trollface

Re: Moon is a harsh mistress

Moon Gnomes?

1. Get to Moon

2. ?

3. Profit

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Big dinosaur wowed females with its ENORMOUS HOOTER

AbelSoul
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Coat

"Oi! Big Nose!"

"you call me big nose one more time, I'll take you to the f*cking cleaners"

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Good grief! Have you SEEN BlackBerry's SQUARE smartphone?

AbelSoul
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Can't quite put my finger on why...

... but I think I like the look of that beastie.

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Range Rover to fit trendy new SUV with FRIKKIN' LASER HUDs

AbelSoul
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Headmaster

Re: there isn't a UK speed sign that says "70" or "60";

The M74 and M8 are both littered with 60 and 70 signs.

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FTC nails pin in Bitcoin mining rig maker Butterfly Labs

AbelSoul
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Re: Wolf, wolf I say!!

During the gold rush it was the shovel sellers who got rich. These guys would have just told you to use your hands whilst they attached the metal bit to the wooden bit, and to come back in a couple of months...

But we still need your money up front....

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Emma Watson urges UN to back feminism – trolls threaten to leak her 'nude selfies'

AbelSoul
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Re: @John

You might have to have a silver badge though. Not sure if bronze is enough.

It is.

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80 PER CENT of app devs SUCK at securing your data, study finds

AbelSoul
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Re: If you can't see it..

(aka my boss)

"You listen here son, build the damn app, nevermind about security and all that (nevermind about documentation either but thats another story) -- if we ever get to the point where we need security it actually means the app has become successful, so we will do security *then* with the revenues generated from it"

Your boss sounds remarkably like the boss I had in my first dev. job.

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Early result from Scots indyref vote? NAW, Jimmy - it's a SCAM

AbelSoul
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Re: I'm voting yes but think it will be around 55% no.

Sometimes it sucks to be right.

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AbelSoul
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Re: What are your predictions?

I'm voting yes but think it will be around 55% no.

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AbelSoul
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Trollface

polling booths opened north in the border

"Out here in the perimeter there are no stars..."

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JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!

AbelSoul
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Trollface

Re: I've probably drank more of it than most Scots

And continue to do so, by the look of things.

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AbelSoul
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Re: But would you want Salmond to be the President of Scotland?

Not especially but then who would you recommend? Compare Salmond to the two muppets currently battling for the UK hot-seat and you suddenly realise that some turds polish-up better than others.

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AbelSoul
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AbelSoul I think you need to reread the post you're replying to. It asks why the English don't get on vote on Scotland staying, not on English independence.

Matters not. The English electorate could have had a vote on either (or anything else for that matter) by following the same steps. (Bit late now, granted, but that's hardly Salmond's fault.)

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AbelSoul
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Holmes

Re: Piers Morgan has said he will go back to America if Scotland Vote No...

I was planning on voting Yes but this changes things.

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AbelSoul
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What I'm curious about is ... why the English cannot have one on if Scotland should stay.

Oh, but the English electorate *can* have a referendum, they just need to follow the same, simple steps as the Scottish electorate:

1. Persuade a political party to make it part of their manifesto.

2. Give that party majority vote in a parliamentary election.

3. Have your referendum.

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AbelSoul
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Re: Well no-one believes Cameron's lies.

If this survey is accurate, more appear to believe Cameron's lies than Slamond's

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WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups

AbelSoul
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Re: Around the World

Sounds like Roxanne would have been better off sending out a Message in a Bottle.

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SCREW YOU, Russia! NASA lobs $6.8bn at Boeing AND SpaceX to run space station taxis

AbelSoul
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Re: Hail, Hail, Hail!

I've never been to Ebola, but I hear it's a lovely place in the spring.

Indeed it is a lovely place, not just in the Spring but all year round. Unfortunately the tourist trade isn't doing so well since it had a lethal virus named after it.

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Apple gives fanbois The Sweetest Thing: A delete button for that U2 album

AbelSoul
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Even better than an iThing?

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Found inside ISIS terror chap's laptop: CELINE DION tunes

AbelSoul
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a book by William Wallace titled A Guide to Field-Manufactured Explosives

So that's what happened at Stirling Bridge.....

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Scottish independence: Will it really TEAR the HEART from IT firms?

AbelSoul
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Childcatcher

Re: Sod the IT arguments

rebuilt Hadrian's wall but a lot, lot higher.

Are you trying to give away half of Newcastle and Carlisle?

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'Duck face' selfie in SPAAAACE: Rosetta's snap with bird comet

AbelSoul
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Trollface

Re: Who owns the copyright to this photograph...

This guy?

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Snapchat admits disappearing selfie app was actually lawsuit flinger's idea

AbelSoul
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Trollface

Bet they wish all evidence of his contribution had "auto-disappeared" too.

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Gaming supremo creates maps that turn real world into Sim City

AbelSoul
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Looks like pretty nice bit of software.

I might download the SDK and have a tinker over the weekend.

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TROUT and EELS in SINISTER PACT to RULE the oceans

AbelSoul
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Thumb Up

Re: Eels - Up inside yer

Ah, The Mighty Boosh.

Proper telly.

They don't make 'em like that any more....

<<drifts off into wistful nostalgia about Old Greig and his Mangina.>>

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AbelSoul
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Re: I trout it very much.

What an eel-conceived comment.

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Celeb nudie iCloud pervs hatched photo-slurping Flappy Bird plot

AbelSoul
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Apologies in advance

Oh, ha ha ha haa! Ha haa! Nice one, Centurion. Like it. Like it.

CENTURION: Shut up!

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Moto 360: Neat gizmo – if you're a rich nerd

AbelSoul
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Pint

Last orders

Last orders is at 0xB:00

In that case, I'll have a bottle of 0x05A Shilling please!

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Straight to video: Facebook to add 'view counts' to autoplay newsfeed vids

AbelSoul
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Now Mr Z, give us a settings to STOP the videos from autoplaying. I for one don't want it.

Nor I. It seems to be yet another exercise in studying how much you can annoy your user base before they cease to be your user base.

Along with the recent enforced use of their messenger app on mobile devices, this has resulted in me barely using the site recently.

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Apple Fanbois (and girls) already lining up for NEW iPHONE

AbelSoul
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Re: Only one word comes to mind.

Dudes know how to tour...

Unlike, say, for example, Pink Floyd.

Given that there are only two members of Pink Floyd left alive and still "in the band" (and only founder member is the drummer), I suppose a downturn in touring activity can be somewhat excused.

That said, new* album comes out next month. Who knows, perhaps Gilmour and Mason might take the old show back on the road one last time.

*How new it is remains to be seen.

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Are you a HOT CELEB? Think your SEXY PICS are safe? Maybe NOT

AbelSoul
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Trollface

"Cubrilovic has examined degenerate nude selfie and revenge porn networks"

Purely for research purposes, of course.

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Apple 'fesses up: Rejected from the App Store, dev? THIS is why

AbelSoul
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Re: Apps that exhibit bugs will be rejected

Their vetting process is inconsistent and apparently arbitrary.

I had an app accepted with a bug that meant it required an immediate update just to be usable.

I also had version 1.0.0 of an app, made for a specific company (and dripping in that company's livery), accepted to the general app store. Six weeks later, version 1.0.1, which looked identical but had slightly improved functionality was rejected because it was for a specific company. It was subsequently accepted in the business to business app store, whilst version 1.0.0 was still on the general app store.

I stopped working on iOS apps in February but for the year and a half that I did it there was a catalogue of such inconsistencies. Not a lot the developer can do other than submit, accept any reasons for rejection and fix them, even if they didn't matter last time and probably won't matter next time.

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Govt waves stick at pirate-friendly Google search

AbelSoul
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Facepalm

We wouldn’t stand idly by if paintings worth hundreds of millions of pounds were being stolen from the National Gallery. Copyright infringement is theft, pure and simple.

Not this awful analogy again - if a painting is stolen from the National Gallery, it is completely removed from the National Gallery and the National Gallery can no longer use it.

If they really want success in tackling copyright infringement and more respect for their efforts, they should try being a bit more honest about it.

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Russia: SEXY LIZARDS which landed FROM SPACE are all DEAD

AbelSoul
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Trollface

Re: They all taste like chicken.

All of my life

I've been kissin'

Your frozen geckos

'Cause they taste like chicken.

Oh, boy.

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Second hacking crew joins Syrian Electronic Army on Team Assad

AbelSoul
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Re: We're the Electronic Army of Syria!

"I thought we were the Popular Army?"

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One step closer to ROBOT BUTLERS: Dyson flashes vid of VACUUM SUCKER bot

AbelSoul
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Trollface

the British firm is working on a robot hoover

About time we had something to help us clean up these bloody robots.

Can hardly move for the buggers.

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Tim Cook: I'm NOT worried about CRAP iPad sales. It's just a 'speedbump'

AbelSoul
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Trollface

performance hike?

There really is little point upgrading from, say, an iPad 3 to an Air, because apart from a fairly hefty performance hike, they pretty much do all the same things.

Except, perhaps, if your reason for upgrading is that you want a fairly hefty performance hike?

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Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

AbelSoul
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Re: Sock gnomes

explain other strange phenomena like odd socks being eaten by the washing machine.

1. Steal socks

2. ?

3. Profit!

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Finally, a practical use for 3D printing: Helping surgeons rehearse

AbelSoul
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Re: Ooo Matron icon

I'd vote for that.

Something like this would probably suffice.

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Sin COS to tan Windows? Chinese operating system to debut in autumn – report

AbelSoul
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Pint

Re: titles are misleading

if I used Sino, it would have fouled up my trigonometry pun.

Bravo, I say. More power to your punnery (especially "tan Windows" - raised a Scottish vernacular smile) and have a virtual ale.

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Euro space boffins narrow down lander sites on comet doing 135,000km/h toward Sun

AbelSoul
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Pint

Outstanding bit of boffinry

And may their lander land

In the manner they planned

Best of luck chaps.

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What a pain in the mass! Euro craft Rosetta to poke its probe in 10-BILLION-tonne comet

AbelSoul
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Trollface

Re: Billion is always 1,000 million.

But is Always always Always?

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Déjà vu: Virgin Media jacks up broadband prices

AbelSoul
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Virgin Media is the only provider to supply broadband without a phone line

Except when: "Sorry, your home isn't in a Virgin Media area"

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Chinese hackers spied on investigators of Flight MH370 - report

AbelSoul
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Re: why is anything in such an investigation "classified"?

Indeed, this only fuels paranoia and conspiracy theories.

The omni-shambles of the Lockerbie investigation being a case in point where public trust in the authorities concerned was completely abused and subsequently lost.

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Hello, police, El Reg here. Are we a bunch of terrorists now?

AbelSoul
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Re: Atheism is a bona fide religion...

In the same way that bald is a bona fide hair-style.

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The Register to boldly go where no Vulture has gone before: The WEEKEND

AbelSoul
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Weeeekeeeend....

the weekend will commence around British Friday lunchtime

Sounds about right.

Glad that's settled.

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Video of US journalist 'beheading' pulled from social media

AbelSoul
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Re: Liveleak

Just waiting for Liveleak to publish the video.

Waiting?

From the article:

However, the footage is still available for viewing on LiveLeak, where it has been viewed more than 5,000 times.

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Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

AbelSoul
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Tour?

London gigs, which will be the singer's first live tour in 35 years.

Except that playing the same venue every single night doesn't really qualify as a tour.

(Am I just bitter that she isn't travelling nearer to me? Perhaps a smidgen.)

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Gigantic toothless 'DRAGONS' dominated Earth's early skies

AbelSoul
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Re: No teeth = excellent flyer

Remember the small hands of T. rex? What use were they for?

This?

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Steve Jobs had BETTER BALLS than Atari, says Apple mouse designer

AbelSoul
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"... meant the mouse was cheaper to produce, which appealed to many of the (fairly well off) people Jobs."

Sorry, what?

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