* Posts by Kaltern

94 posts • joined 2 Jan 2013

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#Gamergate folk load flamethrower, roast own feet over GTA V 'ban'

Kaltern

Re: Sigh.

Yes to a black guy, no to a female character, because it just so happens that the game - indeed the world - doesn't revolve around a woman. Which is probably the main issue here.

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Shoot to THRILL: Assassin's Creed: Unity and Halo: Master Chief Collection

Kaltern

Re: Dear Mr Reviewer.

30fps is NOT smooth ffs, why do people always say that?? Just because game compaines would have you believe it is, 60fps should be the minimum that is accepted as 'smooth', seeing as this is what the human eye is most comfortable with.

Honestly, we're not in the 90's any more, we can do a bit better than Doom.

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Kaltern

Dear Mr Reviewer.

Are you on crack?

Glitches aside, the one thing that is universally abhorred by the gaming community on all platforms is the awful framerate - it barely scratches 30fps, and is usually hovering between 20-30. This makes any game utterly unplayable, so how can such a game get what might be considered a fairly good score?

It's no wonder companies such as Ubi continue to get away with atrocious releases year after year, when reviewers simply can't bring themselves to give them the slating they deserve.

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UK PM Cameron says Internet must not 'be an ungoverned space'

Kaltern

Re: All the same

There will never be a revolution, because those who rise up will be called terrorists. And then shot.

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Blizzard shows off Overwatch – yet another guardians of Earth FPS

Kaltern

woooo

Let's all jump on the latest bandwagon... last season it was MOBA's, before that it was MMORPG's... this season's fashion is MMOFPS.... my god, dare there be any originality within the top publishers imagination... no, just make more of what already exists, in the hope it'll make more money than the others.

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Crooks are using proxy servers to build more convincing phishing sites – new claim

Kaltern

请输入您的信用卡资料到的意见。谢谢

Card: 4971 2500 3665 9987

Expiry 02/18

Postcode: DS1 2TK

Do I win a prize?

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Call of Duty, GTA V DO NOT make YOUTH more VIOLENT

Kaltern
Mushroom

GTA V et al has nothing on...

Manic Miner.

Eugene.

Arrrrgghhhhh!

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FATTIES: Boffins say their miracle sunshine skin cream 'prevents obesity'

Kaltern
Unhappy

Sun seekers

"We know from epidemiology studies that sun-seekers live longer than those who spend their lives in the shade,"

I'm so dead :(

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Trips to Mars may be OFF: The SUN has changed in a way we've NEVER SEEN

Kaltern

Re: Nuclear

Building the reactor externally on say the ISS would be possible, transferring the required materials would be easy, but time consuming (not to mention bloody expensive). I wouldn't recommend building it on Earth and then transporting it - too heavy probably.

Not that I'm any sort of scientist.

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Kaltern

Re: Nuclear

But... in much the same way that radiators, well, radiate heat from one place to another, would it not be possible to transfer heat to the cold of space via an external heatsink - radiate the heat from the source via a radiator of some sort directly outside?

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Kaltern
Mushroom

Nuclear

When you're out in the cold void of space, with numerous life-threatening scenarios just waiting to come through your airlock, the dangers of nuclear power probably take a bit of a backseat.

I wonder if the cooling required for nuclear reactors could involve the void?

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Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots

Kaltern

FGS

"...watching Clara from some kind of tablet."

It wasn't 'some sort of tablet'. It was an iPad. A Fucking iPad. In the afterlife (or whatever it is), which clearly is NOT in the present day.

Are they implying that Apple is alive and well in whatever millennium they're in, and that the iPad hasn't changed a bit?

God what am I saying? That would imply Apple has imagination....

BBC and Product placement?

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Microsoft to Samsung: COUGH UP $6.9m in unpaid interest over Android PATENT SPAT

Kaltern

Bored

Why not make Apple, Samsung and Microsoft pay each other $10Billion. That should sort everything out once and for all.

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Apple blacklists tech journo following explicit BENDY iPhone vid

Kaltern

iPhone 6 was so badly bent I had to throw it away...

... but it flew right back.

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Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS

Kaltern

Daleks have nothing on these, make them big enough with some meaty motors and they could traverse stairs just by rolling up them...

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Ello? ello? ello?: Facebook challenger in DDoS KNOCKOUT

Kaltern

Re: Thwart the competition?

It was simply the FUPS - Facebook User Protection System© kicking in - another social site was potentially stealing their custom.. I mean livesto... sorry, I mean user's detail, and therefore triggered a Safety Barrier system, ensuring that Ello cannot steal any more of their potential prof... sorry, I mean, user's data as Facebook of course keep this very secure and wouldn't want anyone who hasn;t paid... sorry I mean, anyone who shouldn't be seeing it from well, seeing it.

I think I got that right.

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BENDY iPhone 6, you say? Pah, warp claims are bent out of shape: Consumer Reports

Kaltern

Re: Laboratory Street

Downvote me all you want, but the tests that were done on the device were not in any way 'real world' examples of the actual stresses put on a phone in the pocket like people are claiming.

I could prove an egg cannot be broken by testing it's innate strength to support weight, with positive results.

And yes, call me cynical if you wish but I don't believe any organisation, anywhere ever in the world, is free from corruption, self-interest, bribery or suchlike.

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Kaltern
Happy

Laboratory Street

This lab test is brought to you by the words 'Apple' and 'Dollar', and by a very large number indeed.

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Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT

Kaltern

Re: It sucks but..

Yup, according to that link, it's very secure indeed.

Maybe Apple could do something with that hotlinking tech... I dunno.

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NASA on Curiosity bot: Mission accomplished (for now at least)

Kaltern

Still rolling... still astounded.

I posted a while ago about how truly amazing it is to see high quality pictures from another planet... I'm still amazed now, and am in utter awe of the minds and hands that designed and built everything to do with this mission...

Our world might be one fucked up place, but Curiosity is enjoying the peace and tranquillity humans can only dream of.

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Apple's Watch is basically electric perfume

Kaltern

Trouble with gadgets, is they used to be able to solve a problem, or show innovation. These days, they seem to invent problems that don't really need solving, and show a serious lack of innovation.

Innovation is in many cases a gamble - will the public actually want to try something new? And these days, gambling is something a lot of companies just can't afford, or are unwilling to do - so we just get rehashes of stuff that sheep bought last year, or things that are slightly different to what we have now - and don't offer anything useful or interesting.

Or, of course, truly world-changing innovation is blocked by mega-corps, afraid that such things would jeopardise their monopoly on the world - look at oil for example - I am convinced we could already have left oil based motor engines behind, but the oil companies can't have that. Cynical? Perhaps, but I know the world we live in.

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Alien Ninja Fembot Pirates vs the Jedi SAS Chuck Norris startroopers: RUMBLE

Kaltern

Hulk Hogan

Because he says his prayers and takes his vitamins. And is a real American. And never loses.

USA! USA! USA!

Brother.

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Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

Kaltern

I'd like an Extra Life then please.

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6 Obvious Reasons Why Facebook Will Ban This Article (Thank God)

Kaltern

Re: MORE FROM THE REGISTER

Already blocked - along with the other ridiculously sized ads on this and other sites. While I understand this is a free site with 'stuff' done by people who get paid, and I also understand that revenue needs to be generated somehow, I don't need huge ads in my face everytime I look around.

And have you ever tried Digital Spy? Since they were taken over by some magazine company, the advertising is utterly insane.

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Vampires and Ninjas versus the Alien Jedi Robot Pirates: It's ON

Kaltern

The One. Neo. Or Agents. Hmm... tough choice...

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NASA's rock'n'roll shock: ROLLING STONE FOUND ON MARS

Kaltern

Rock Simulator is about to get an expansion pack...

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ANU boffins demo 'tractor beam' in water

Kaltern

Re: So, the Empire starts in Australia

Never understood the difficulty of making a space elevator... just get an old satellite, tie a bit of heatproofed rope to it and jump off back to Earth - tie to post - job done. How hard can it be? *insert troll face here*

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Man FOUND ON MOON denies lunar alien interface

Kaltern

I'm disappointed in you fellow commentards, failing to recognise a quote from a classic movie... :(

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Kaltern

Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet.

Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.

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Toyota catches up to William Gibson with LED hood

Kaltern

I think I'd be more impressed if this was e-ink - now that would not be distracting, not against most countries laws and would be much cheaper to run.

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Tech that we want (but they never seem to give us)

Kaltern

Innovation before profit would be quite nice.

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Multiplayer Elite to debut on May 30th

Kaltern
FAIL

Re: Also available...

If it works... millions of $ and pretty much nothing to show for it - unless you're a CIG forum regular, in which case you're already convinced this is the game to end all games, and it will actually improve your overall Quality of Life. And it makes a mean sandwich.

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Tesco to tout its own smartphone – now THAT'S an unexpected item in the bagging area

Kaltern

I'm waiting for Google to announce a multi-billion buy out of TESCO - then they'll have more data than they'll know what to do with

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Selfies are so 2013. Get ready for DRONIES – the next hipster-cam-gasm

Kaltern
Boffin

Googie

It won't be long before drones can be controlled by Google Glass, and then where will we be. Give it 5 years and we'll all we walking along the street with our trendy RayBan Google glasses and our pet drone following behind, like a technologically nightmarish version of the bluetooth headset...

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You can play Flappy Bird on a POINT OF SALE TERMINAL

Kaltern

Re: Like they care

This is the crux of the matter.

Chip & Pin was introduced mainly to shift responsibility to the consumer - banks are pretty much free from any responsibility for card fraud, which, if you think about it, is grossly unfair.

Because the UK adopted the cheaper, less secure version of the tech, it's trivially easy for these cards to be used fraudulently. The PIN, stored on the card, is just not going to be as secure as a PIN stored in a central server, which is how I would have expected things to be.

Sure, it makes certain transactions more difficult, and the utterly pointless security card readers employed by banks such as Natwest would be useless, but Id trade that for much higher security.

Personally, I can't think of a better, easy to implement security tech that doesn't involve a secondary physical item, but I imagine one exists in the mind of someone, one that puts the onus of customer security firmly back in the hands of the banks.

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It's 2014 and you can pwn a PC by opening a .RTF in Word, Outlook

Kaltern

Re: Interesting inclusion

It could be Office for AmigaOS.. or Office for ZX Spectrum.... if the code is the same, then the vulnerability could be the same*.

* hypothetical, but probably impossible due to the memory limitation.... :P

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Forget superstars, this HYPERGIANT star is 1,300 times the size of OUR SUN

Kaltern

Looks like an intersteller Weeble.

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Badges for Commentards

Kaltern

Ohhh.. *hangs head in shame for not reading properly*

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Kaltern

I have over 100 upvotes in 12 months and I am badgerless :( Just sayin....

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EVE Online erects mashed-up memorial to biggest space fight in history

Kaltern

I would have expected the monument to be a huge Excel spreadsheet, surrounded by DPS algorithms and asset lists exploding around it.

Sorry, I understand the social aspect and of course thats a great thing, but when you have to read through reams of calculations in order to play the thing... thats just not fun.

Eve is simply a business simulator with lasers.

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Facebook will LOSE 80% of its users by 2017 – epidemiological study

Kaltern

Sadly, while business and suchlike use Facebook to 'connect with their customers', there will always BE Facebook. Unlike Myspace, bebo et al, businesses have sadly woken up to the fact that the interweb is one vast advertising free-for-all full of potential moneyspenders, and thus is the perfect place to 'reach out' to their 'important' customers.

It's the same reason Twitter will never die, not when virtually ever TV program, advert, celeb, newspaper and well, pretty much anything has a hashtag. Somehow by putting a # in front of a word, name or unintelligible phrase makes it important. #whocareswhatyouhadforbreakfast

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Walking while texting can – OUCH! – end badly, say boffins

Kaltern

I wonder if I can get a grant for a new study: Will you die if you step in front of a fast moving train?

I will need volunteers, and to make the study fair, I should test a cross-section of trains from around the world - surely the Japanese train system would be the most deadly, while the UK train service may have the highest chances of survival, due to delays...

I volunteer to head this research from various 5 star accommodations in major world cities, and will use the research money wisely - I will only refill the minibar once a day.

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Remember when SimCity ABSOLUTELY HAD to be online? Not any more – fancy that!

Kaltern

If any other industry tried something like this, there would be multi-million *enter choice of currency here* lawsuits all over the shop.

But for some reason, gaming seems to be a license to print money, with no real need for the truth.

I don't understand it, I mean, if you bought say, a TV, that had a 'special' interface for watching say, Sky through, and it HAD to be that particular interface, and you absolutely had to use their cable to use it... and it turns out it was just an HDMI cable with an extra notch on it to ensure 'third party' cables couldn't be used.... that would cause an uproar.

Wouldn't it?

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Pervy TOILET CAMERA disguised as 'flash drive' sparks BOMB SCARE on Boeing 767

Kaltern

..well, unless it was one of those old fashioned cigarette lighter shaped ones.... might make a little noise I suppose.

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Kaltern

Ah yes, memory sticks.. those well known explosive devices....

Seriously, you couldn't fit enough C4 into one of those to light a match...

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WIN YOUR OWN HADRON COLLIDER pop-up book with El Reg

Kaltern
Trollface

Re: Eligibility

Well, some of the words might be pronounced, or spelled differently.

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UK payday loaners cop MEGA £175K fine for 'misleading' SMS spam

Kaltern

Thats ok, their own debt collection agency can recover the money.....

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Brits won't have to pay for thieves' enormous mobe bills any more

Kaltern

Re: "We are ensuring hardworking families...

I presume DC visited here and downvoted me... lovely!

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Kaltern

Re: "We are ensuring hardworking families...

Oh DO keep up...

... this is the Great Vision® of the Almighty DC, who has proclaimed that only the rich or middle-class (and above) working families may prosper and enjoy his attentions.

Anyone else deserves to be hit by huge bills. Oh yes.

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IDS finally admits what EVERYONE ELSE already knows: Universal Credit will be late

Kaltern

Re: Please can you pass the slit?

Irritating Dick Syndrome.

There, fixed for you :P

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