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* Posts by Kaltern

67 posts • joined 2 Jan 2013

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Man FOUND ON MOON denies lunar alien interface

Kaltern

I'm disappointed in you fellow commentards, failing to recognise a quote from a classic movie... :(

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Kaltern

Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet.

Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.

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Toyota catches up to William Gibson with LED hood

Kaltern

I think I'd be more impressed if this was e-ink - now that would not be distracting, not against most countries laws and would be much cheaper to run.

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Tech that we want (but they never seem to give us)

Kaltern

Innovation before profit would be quite nice.

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Multiplayer Elite to debut on May 30th

Kaltern
FAIL

Re: Also available...

If it works... millions of $ and pretty much nothing to show for it - unless you're a CIG forum regular, in which case you're already convinced this is the game to end all games, and it will actually improve your overall Quality of Life. And it makes a mean sandwich.

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Tesco to tout its own smartphone – now THAT'S an unexpected item in the bagging area

Kaltern

I'm waiting for Google to announce a multi-billion buy out of TESCO - then they'll have more data than they'll know what to do with

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Selfies are so 2013. Get ready for DRONIES – the next hipster-cam-gasm

Kaltern
Boffin

Googie

It won't be long before drones can be controlled by Google Glass, and then where will we be. Give it 5 years and we'll all we walking along the street with our trendy RayBan Google glasses and our pet drone following behind, like a technologically nightmarish version of the bluetooth headset...

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You can play Flappy Bird on a POINT OF SALE TERMINAL

Kaltern

Re: Like they care

This is the crux of the matter.

Chip & Pin was introduced mainly to shift responsibility to the consumer - banks are pretty much free from any responsibility for card fraud, which, if you think about it, is grossly unfair.

Because the UK adopted the cheaper, less secure version of the tech, it's trivially easy for these cards to be used fraudulently. The PIN, stored on the card, is just not going to be as secure as a PIN stored in a central server, which is how I would have expected things to be.

Sure, it makes certain transactions more difficult, and the utterly pointless security card readers employed by banks such as Natwest would be useless, but Id trade that for much higher security.

Personally, I can't think of a better, easy to implement security tech that doesn't involve a secondary physical item, but I imagine one exists in the mind of someone, one that puts the onus of customer security firmly back in the hands of the banks.

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It's 2014 and you can pwn a PC by opening a .RTF in Word, Outlook

Kaltern

Re: Interesting inclusion

It could be Office for AmigaOS.. or Office for ZX Spectrum.... if the code is the same, then the vulnerability could be the same*.

* hypothetical, but probably impossible due to the memory limitation.... :P

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Forget superstars, this HYPERGIANT star is 1,300 times the size of OUR SUN

Kaltern

Looks like an intersteller Weeble.

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Badges for Commentards

Kaltern

Ohhh.. *hangs head in shame for not reading properly*

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Kaltern

I have over 100 upvotes in 12 months and I am badgerless :( Just sayin....

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EVE Online erects mashed-up memorial to biggest space fight in history

Kaltern

I would have expected the monument to be a huge Excel spreadsheet, surrounded by DPS algorithms and asset lists exploding around it.

Sorry, I understand the social aspect and of course thats a great thing, but when you have to read through reams of calculations in order to play the thing... thats just not fun.

Eve is simply a business simulator with lasers.

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Facebook will LOSE 80% of its users by 2017 – epidemiological study

Kaltern

Sadly, while business and suchlike use Facebook to 'connect with their customers', there will always BE Facebook. Unlike Myspace, bebo et al, businesses have sadly woken up to the fact that the interweb is one vast advertising free-for-all full of potential moneyspenders, and thus is the perfect place to 'reach out' to their 'important' customers.

It's the same reason Twitter will never die, not when virtually ever TV program, advert, celeb, newspaper and well, pretty much anything has a hashtag. Somehow by putting a # in front of a word, name or unintelligible phrase makes it important. #whocareswhatyouhadforbreakfast

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Walking while texting can – OUCH! – end badly, say boffins

Kaltern

I wonder if I can get a grant for a new study: Will you die if you step in front of a fast moving train?

I will need volunteers, and to make the study fair, I should test a cross-section of trains from around the world - surely the Japanese train system would be the most deadly, while the UK train service may have the highest chances of survival, due to delays...

I volunteer to head this research from various 5 star accommodations in major world cities, and will use the research money wisely - I will only refill the minibar once a day.

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Remember when SimCity ABSOLUTELY HAD to be online? Not any more – fancy that!

Kaltern

If any other industry tried something like this, there would be multi-million *enter choice of currency here* lawsuits all over the shop.

But for some reason, gaming seems to be a license to print money, with no real need for the truth.

I don't understand it, I mean, if you bought say, a TV, that had a 'special' interface for watching say, Sky through, and it HAD to be that particular interface, and you absolutely had to use their cable to use it... and it turns out it was just an HDMI cable with an extra notch on it to ensure 'third party' cables couldn't be used.... that would cause an uproar.

Wouldn't it?

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Pervy TOILET CAMERA disguised as 'flash drive' sparks BOMB SCARE on Boeing 767

Kaltern

..well, unless it was one of those old fashioned cigarette lighter shaped ones.... might make a little noise I suppose.

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Kaltern

Ah yes, memory sticks.. those well known explosive devices....

Seriously, you couldn't fit enough C4 into one of those to light a match...

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WIN YOUR OWN HADRON COLLIDER pop-up book with El Reg

Kaltern
Trollface

Re: Eligibility

Well, some of the words might be pronounced, or spelled differently.

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UK payday loaners cop MEGA £175K fine for 'misleading' SMS spam

Kaltern

Thats ok, their own debt collection agency can recover the money.....

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Brits won't have to pay for thieves' enormous mobe bills any more

Kaltern

Re: "We are ensuring hardworking families...

I presume DC visited here and downvoted me... lovely!

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Kaltern

Re: "We are ensuring hardworking families...

Oh DO keep up...

... this is the Great Vision® of the Almighty DC, who has proclaimed that only the rich or middle-class (and above) working families may prosper and enjoy his attentions.

Anyone else deserves to be hit by huge bills. Oh yes.

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Kaltern

Warning: Political sideswipe inside

<Blatant political whine>

'"Families can be left struggling if carefully planned budgets are being blown away by unexpected bills from a stolen mobile or a mid-contract price rise," said Culture Secretary Maria Miller', "We are ensuring hardworking families are not hit with shock bills through no fault of their own."

Glad to hear it. But I presume they won't be so lucky with rising energy bills tho?

</Blatant political whine>

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IDS finally admits what EVERYONE ELSE already knows: Universal Credit will be late

Kaltern

Re: Please can you pass the slit?

Irritating Dick Syndrome.

There, fixed for you :P

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Lead ONTO your pencil: Bill Gates pours cash into graphene condoms

Kaltern
Alert

Re: Err, what?

TENS fetish.

*shudders*

I suppose a TASER would be much worse....

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Tiny, invisible EXTRATERRESTRIAL INVADERS appear at South Pole

Kaltern

Re: Who to truly believe

Sorry but,

WTF?

That is all.

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Stolen CREDIT CARD details? Nah... crooks desire your PRIVATES

Kaltern

I kinda wonder how many of these ID fraud victims had the latest Internet Security suites installed, with whatever it's version of Anti-Cyber-Crime-ID-Theft placeb..... I mean system is in place...

Of course, I'm not suggesting that some of those victims don't practice safe surfing... and some ID theft is probably not even PC related, but lets be honest here, the vast majority of these thieved identities are going to be via trojan or other PC related attack.

Even the article mentions FUD, which kinda makes these identity protection system highly questionable.

But then, I have a slightly dim view on a lot of these 'complete' internet security suites.

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LOOK UP! Comet ISON could EXPLODE in our skies – astronomers

Kaltern

So soon to be Comet ISNOT?

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Canadian teens cuffed over alleged Snapchat child sex pics ring

Kaltern
FAIL

So if girls told boys to send them similar pics (and you KNOW boys have a higher chance of wanting to 'impress' the girls) - would identical charges be taking place here?

I think we all know the answer to this one.

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Brit ISPs ordered to add more movie-streaming websites to block list

Kaltern
Pirate

In other news..

... Google pay out £550 Million in 'donations' to the Conservative Party, in order to ensure that they don't accidentally end up on that list.

*wakes up*

Oh sorry, I was having a 'moment'... apologies.

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OH what a LOVELY, well-rendered WAR: Yes, it’s 'Call of Duty: Ghosts'

Kaltern
WTF?

... 6 gig???

So the minimum requirement for the PC version is 6Gb RAM. The game will not even START without it - a warning box pops up if you try.

Why the game requires this I have absolutely no idea - it has supposedly been proven the game will run just fine with less memory, but for whatever reason, Ubisoft decided that PC users must all have at least 6gb and therefore won't mind the restriction.

If the textures and game resources were worthy of such heady requirements, I might understand - but seriously, it looks no different to MW3 or BO2, so I really don't get it.

I believe the crowdfunded Star Citizen has the same memory requirements listed, but then that is a tailored-for-PC game that will no doubt use every kilobyte.

Just sounds like sloppy coding and no attempt at optimization...

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Blighty's telcos set to CHOKE off another fistful of piracy gateways

Kaltern
FAIL

The Ignorance of Copyright Cocks is still as high as always I see.

You think these people will ever understand that blocking websites will never stop people accessing them? Since TPB was 'blocked', there are now more proxy sites than there are countries who have blocked the site! (probably).

So basically... it'll actually makes such sites MORE ACCESSIBLE!

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LG G Flex: A new cheeky curvy mobe with a 'SELF-HEALING' bottom

Kaltern

Self healing back? I want self healing glass - cmon, that must be possible now right? I mean, we live in an age of microwave burgers!

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Don't crack that Mac: Almost NOTHING in new Retina MacBook Pros can be replaced

Kaltern

I don't think Applecare can replace a knackered battery, or offer a swift RAM upgrade eh? Problem with the trackpad, and just out of warranty? Of course, sir, we will happily fix that for you. Would you like to pay £1000 with Visa or Mastercard?

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Windows 8.1: A bit square, sure, but WAIT! It has a Start button

Kaltern
Go

Re: I have one question about 8.1 for those who have used it

Start8

Problem solved. Oh and Windowblinds 8 if you're feeling flush - you could even revert back to Olive Green XP should you feel the need.

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Blighty's National Crime Agency nabs first crook ...for £750k cyberscam

Kaltern
Mushroom

New TV series incoming

Hard hitting drama based on the filth on the UK's street, featuring the new, upcoming cleanup squad...

"In 2013 a crack police unit was disbanded for quotas they didn't uphold. These men (and women) were promptly moved from their stations to the UK underground. Today, still used by the government, they operate as soldiers of the Home Secretary. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...

The N.C.A."

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21st Century Elite remake to support Oculus Rift virtual reality rig

Kaltern
Thumb Up

Re: Wow. There goes a large chunk of my future,

Oh very much Privateer based.

There is a single player game as well which is much more like Wing Commander, but the main bulk of the game is based around good old Privateer based play, with so much extra stuff planned it makes me giddy just thinking about it.

Spacewalking on the wings of your own ship to stop pirates boarding you?

Giddy, I tell you.

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Boffins spot LONE PLANET roaming interstellar void

Kaltern
Alien

Obviously it's a Dyson's Sphere. Camouflaged with gas emissions. Hence no star y'see...

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Spectra unveils TOP SECRET tape-based object store Black Pearl

Kaltern
Pirate

One letter away from world domination...

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You put up with CRAPPY iOS 7. You can put up with Obamacare too, says prez

Kaltern

Re: NHS part 2

You are Jeremy Kyle, and I claim my JSA.

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Kaltern
Meh

"For them, poor people are poor because they lack the moral backbone to be successful. They admit no extenuating circumstance."

You just described the UK Conservative Government....

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Kaltern
Thumb Down

Re: NHS part 2

Of course, because those who have more money deserve to live longer, right?

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TUPPERWARE FOUND ON MOON of Saturn

Kaltern

I just can't help but remember this line from ID4...

.... I saw what they're planning to do. They're like locusts. They're moving from planet to planet... their whole civilization. After they've consumed every natural resource they move on...

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Valve shows Linux love with SteamOS for gamers

Kaltern

Terminal

Unless SteamOS is 100% terminal-free, it is never going to replace Windows.

I like the IDEA of Linux, but it's still hidden under a myriad of terminal commands, config files and obscure folders that non-Linus users have no clue on using.

You may argue that Linux is just to be learned, but they need to convert Windows users to their way of thinking. And you can use Windows with nay a terminal window in sight.

It doesn't matter how GOOD a system is; if it has a less user-friendly interface than it's competitor... it's not going to work.

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Cold-blooded, INHUMAN visitor hitches ride on NASA moon rocket

Kaltern
Trollface

Ringdingadingdingding....

..... crazy frog!!!

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PayPal lets Brit 'burb-dwellers buy stuff using their ugly mug

Kaltern
Facepalm

Is it just me,

.. or wouldn't a photo of the person suffice?

Not exactly security now is it.

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Soylent days and soylent nights

Kaltern
Unhappy

"The gloop's ingredients include carbohydrates, protein, fat, cholesterol, sodium, potassium, chloride, fiber, calcium, iron, phosphorous, iodine, magnesium, zinc, selenium, copper, manganese, chromium, molybdenum, vitamins A, B6, B12, C, D, E, K, thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, folate, biotin, panthothenic acid, lycopene, omega-3 fatty acids, ginseng, gingko biloba,lutein, alpha carotene, and vanadium."

Soo no flavour then? At least it's marginally better than a Pot Noodle - it passes on the soya protein bits...

Besides, this sounds like those 1-a-day multivitamins in shake form...

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Sony sucker-punches Xbox on price, specs, DRM-free gaming

Kaltern
Trollface

Re: Need 4 Speed : Handbreak Turn

"We at Microsoft are always listening to our customers. That is why we have decided to break new ground and not ONLY allow you to play preowned games at NO CHARGE*, but we'll also allow you to connect only once a WEEK to allow you to play your games!

* subject to uploading the entire content of the disk to the cloud, and posting the disk to us for destruction. Terms and conditions apply, especially if it is an EA game.'

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Kaltern

Re: Rip off Britain

Get it from Amazon.com, £319 inc estimated import tax. HEy, it's something... that £30 can go towards a game or a controller!

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Smart TVs riddled with DUMB security holes

Kaltern
FAIL

I always found the whole Smart TV idea a bit odd. After all, I already have a device that uses a large screen to access the internet, use apps, play games.

It's called a PC.

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