An asteroid the size of a town will not be smacking into us, says Nasa... at least not between 15 and 28 September. After that, you take your chances, as their budget has been cut.
The space agency is trying to calm everyone down after rumours that a killer space rock was on its way, by giving away humorous t-shirts with "Keep Calm, It's not the end of the world probably" printed on them, unaware of how last year that is.
Doom-mongers said "a 2.5 mile-wide comet" will crash into Earth causing "catastrophic damage" and "wiping out the United States of America". Luckily, Nasa reports that "there is not one shred of evidence that we can talk about" for this, and even if there was, it's just America, and all the wealthy people have bunkers.
Blogs and web posts even claimed that the rock would strike near the Caribbean island of Puerto Rico in the middle of September, however given the state of the countries economy, this will probably come as something of a relief for it's population.
"If there were any object large enough to do that type of destruction in September, we would have seen something of it by now," said killer asteroid hunter Paul Cooper, while loading ammunition and tins of beans into the back of his brand new pick-up truck.
He finished with "This isn't the first time a wild, unsubstantiated claim of a celestial object about to impact Earth has been made, and unfortunately, it probably won't be the last. Well maybe. Sorry I have to go, I have an old military base I have to visit."