* Posts by Chevalier

21 posts • joined 5 Dec 2012

Jokes of no more than 2 lines

Chevalier

A man goes to the doctor and finds out he's going to die soon. He acts the doctor, "How long do I have to live?"

The doctor says "Ten..." and the man asks, confused "Ten what? Days? Months?" The doctor replies "Nine... eight..."

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Chevalier

What's a ghost's favourite lunch meat?

Boologna

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Chevalier

A woman goes to the doctor and he tells her he has bad news and worse news. She asked, "Well what's the bad news?" to which he said "You've only got 24 hours to live".

She replied "My God! What's the worse news?!" and he says "Yeah.. I forgot to call you yesterday..."

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Chevalier

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

How do you breathe through that thing?

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Chevalier

A wife finds out that after 20 years of sex in the dark, her husband has been using a toy on her the entire time.

She yells at him, "Explain the toy?!" to which he replied "Explain the kids..."

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"Distant planet found circling with 4 stars"; Moove oover Tatooooine...

Chevalier

Interesting.. I hadn't heard about this.. 4 suns... Curious how it withstands the gravitational pull myself.

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Linux HTPC <£300

Chevalier

Less than 300£? Not sure about that one... good luck

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Spotted on the web.

Chevalier

I found this which was kinda weird: http://www.permadi.com/java/spaint/spaint.html

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Apple iGlasses

Chevalier

The more I hear about anything from Apple, the more I'm happy I've refused to use their products.

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Sir Patrick Moore

Chevalier

Farewell to a great man.

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Samsung Jelly Bean Car Dock Fail

Chevalier

Bastain's right, there are plenty of articles and even apps that allow you to use legacy versions. May be your best option.

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Still buying CDs?

Chevalier

I still buy CDs, I like having them when I wanna listen to music in the car, or camping or something where a phone or MP3 player may not be the best choice

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3D is the future of cinema?

Chevalier

There are certain movies that could use 3D in a good way.. but they're using it on movies that really shouldn't have it, ruins the movie when you're not wearing 3D glasses...

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Sci Fi recomendations?

Chevalier

hmm.. as far as Sci-Fi goes I'm not able to help, sorry :(

I'm more of a fantasy guy

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Disney Now Owns a Death Star

Chevalier

haha nice

I still can't believe Lucas actually sold to Disney.. and they plan on making a Star Wars 7.... -.-

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Samsung using updates to install crapware?

Chevalier

I've never had any issues with my Samsungs. Could be something that someone added who sold you the unbranded/unlocked Samsung

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Why doesn't Apple buy Dyson

Chevalier

Re: Why doesn't Apple buy Dyson

Because Dyson good, Apple bad.. Apple sucks.

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Qwerty keyboards

Chevalier

There aren't many phones with actual keyboards anymore.. not when it comes to Android phones anyways. I had to give mine up with my last update. Still getting use to a touch keyboard

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Did you ever wonder what £41 million looks like?

Chevalier

Bath tubs full of Dom?... it's ridiculous what people spend money on..

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Could goole renaming Dokdo to liaccourt rocks be retaliation?

Chevalier

Google has always had an issue with it's "privacy policy". I don't see that stopping any time soon, either..

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Do vultures actually 'chew' the fat?

Chevalier

Picking at the corpse sound like a good one to me.

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