Feeds

* Posts by Valeyard

238 posts • joined 14 Nov 2012

Page:

Ofcom will not probe lesbian lizard snog in new Dr Who series

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: Lesbianism vs. beastiality

kinda, except they evolved on earth (they were here before us) and therefore would probably share at least common ancestors with lizards including their weird internal plumbing

but no, not an alien

1
0
Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: so annoying

and yet no complaints of racism when strax can't tell humans apart from each other or when he was driving the carriage shouts "OUT OF THE WAY, HUMAN SCUM!"

i'm really offended by the casual portrayal of racism toward my planet :(

10
1
Valeyard
Bronze badge

so annoying

i hate those characters.

"ooh i'm a lesbian. did i ever mention i'm a lesbian? OOOOOH! YOU MADE AN INNUENDO! CHEEKY! i'm married! to a woman!" it's like really bad panto

oh stfu with your mockney accent, you're only there as the serious ones for strax to bounce funny lines off

16
4

Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

Valeyard
Bronze badge

heard similar please before

at a Wildhearts gig, Ginger addressed the audience between songs to ask that anyone filming stand to the side away from people, and from now on if anyone's view is blocked to just grab the phone and throw it away. seemed reasonable to me and my short-arsed wife not having to look past outstretched arms and blinding screens

18
0

Oculus sucked by Zuck? 'I'm over it' – Minecraft supremo Notch

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: Word of warning, Notch

you seem to be really angry about the mere possibility of something happening in minecraft..

..minecraft!!

0
0

Google to offer special accounts for kids: report

Valeyard
Bronze badge

well we know why

"Mr Schmidt said he believed that every young person will one day be allowed to change their name to distance themselves from embarrasssing photographs and material stored on their friends' social media sites."

i'll just leave this here...

3
0

Top money men face up to 2 YEARS in slammer for neglecting to spot crim-cash activity

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: Not news to anyone in the financial industry

it's also illegal to do anything that would let them know they're being investigated for money laundering ('tipping off')

therefore in the bank where i worked this guy would smile and do his transactions. i'd smile back and help. we both knew that he hwas money laundering and i knew and he knew i knew, but we acted best of friends. it was bizarre. everytime we shut an account down he'd open another one and we'd not be able to reject it because he was the current subject or money laundering investigations, so we'd be making nice while he paid in or took out his criminal gains and i was taking notes for the form i'd fill in for the cops when he left

and we did get on really well, our pretend backstabby friendship was the best ever. so bizarre.

6
0

Who needs hackers? 'Password1' opens a third of all biz doors

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: Resets?

When i worked for a horribly by the book corporation that changed passwords every 30 days all that happened after a while was the numbers and symbols at the end of the password got shifted to the right of the keyboard by 1 key...

At the other end of the scale if i see a website signup page berate me for daring to include a symbol in my password or for exceeding 8 characters I go elsewhere

19
1

What's in your toolbox? Why the browser wars are so last decade

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: IE

Yeah I'm sure that the Tax Breaks those Corporations receive for being in Ireland, have absolutely to do with 'em all wanting to be there...

i've never been accused of subtle jokes before, but i think written communication robs something :(

4
0
Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: IE

apparently 1 thumb downer doesn't get the subtle hint that i'm irish.

4
0
Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: IE

hey all the best companies come from here, we're the silicon island, a hotbed of tech knowhow!!

Apple, Yahoo, Google, facebook

;)

4
3
Valeyard
Bronze badge

IE

One good feature of the newer IE dev tools i like is that I can make the browser emulate lower versions of IE, so I just need the one VM to test back to where we start supporting (Ideally I'd not open IE at all but at least this little detail makes it somewhat less cumbersome to test for)

modern.ie supplies VMs to test on which is pretty cool, so it looks like they're trying to help testing, just not with anything particularly powerful or exciting (or with a decent browser)

7
2

Anonymous threatens to name cop who shot dead unarmed Michael Brown

Valeyard
Bronze badge

ha

they don't half talk like they're super spy commandos or something

TARGET DOWN!!

oh no, black ops neutralised our FAQ website. shit. gonna have to stop the conspiracy guys, we're in deep trouble now.

5
2

Robot snaps on yellow RUBBER GLOVES, preps to invade Canada

Valeyard
Bronze badge
Coat

heh..

"I become excited because I realize how large Canada is"

that's what SHE said!

0
0

Plane grounded so cops can cuff semi-legless passenger

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: This is...

this, that AND the other

that's when the police get involved, a bit of this and that on its own is ok but legislation sets the line very clearly at the other

4
0

'Things' on the Internet-of-things have 25 vulnerabilities apiece

Valeyard
Bronze badge

tech support

"hi, i requested an openreach engineer last week and he still hasn't shown up. my fridge has been empty and the heating off for 2 weeks"

"ok sir i'll just guide you through the manual steps to cook some spag bol. is there a building with big windows and teenagers hanging around outside anywhere near you? good. now start by grabbing your wallet.."

4
0

Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS

Valeyard
Bronze badge

you won't BELIEVE what happened next!!

I totally knew most of these anyway

3
1

Asteroid's DINO KILLING SPREE just bad luck – boffins

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: Bad luck...

if you talked to her i think i see what went wrong

3
0

Auntie remains MYSTIFIED by that weekend BBC iPlayer and website outage

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: iPlayer

you seem to have started talking about one thing and then listed lots of random letters and numbers, when in reality everyone is thinking "but you still pay for the bbc licence, right?"

17
0

Black Hat anti-Tor talk smashed by lawyers' wrecking ball

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Black hat conferences

Hosted at universities with pre-approved talks?

and there was I thinking it'd be in some underground club with milk and countdown and cyberpunk music and the cast of the matrix and highly illegal new exploits being sold by Ukranians with scars down their eyes

The reality's really rather disappointing

26
0

Female! ex-Yahoo! coder! says! female! boss! fired! her! for! refusing! sex!

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Well if it's true I certainly hope it gets dealt with properly and not trampled by expensive lawyers, sounds awful

0
0

NEW Raspberry Pi B+, NOW with - count them - FOUR USB ports

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: Extra usb ports?

that's awesome. Though I run it headless and just SSH in so I don't need TOO much, just power for a webcam and wireless adapter coming through the pi adequately which someone mentioned above, good work

0
0
Valeyard
Bronze badge

Extra usb ports?

Are these still fighting with each other as well as the Ethernet port?

doing regular uploading whilst writing to a fs on a usb drive corrupt that drive so many times

So is 2 extra ports a good thing? I assume they've ironed that out, in which case i might replace my 2 trusty security devices and eliminate the need for a powered usb hub for each too

4
1

Victim of Tor-hidden revenge smut site sues Tor Project developers

Valeyard
Bronze badge

showing no appreciation of how both the Internet and the law works is seriously damaging her employment prospects

erm..actually....

0
0

'Spy-proof' IM launched: Aims to offer anonymity to whistleblowers

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: @Valeyard

you're a bit of a prick really, aren't you?

0
0
Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: @Valeyard

it's basic stuff?

Oh sorry, i'm such a rank amateur at persecuting innocents.

0
1
Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: commendable. But...

like they needed us to be on a list to hoover up our data

1
1
Valeyard
Bronze badge

you know your demographic

The team behind the project include Metasploit Founder HD Moore and noted infosec and opsec experts The Grugq.

who? are they good like?

That's the infosec equivalent of putting together Worf and Spock to fend off starfleet enemies, so the results are sure to be worth watching.

ah now i get it. sounds great!

5
0

Wannabe Startup CEOs Hate This Guy: Potato Salad man and the $60k

Valeyard
Bronze badge

sigh

the real story should be "lots of idiots give some guy some money for free because he's just to so damn RANDOM!"

theregister aside, this is why i avoid most areas of the internet where there's a danger of me interacting with too many other people. fucking calling each other 'Bro' and everything. Horrible when you get a student placement at work nowadays and they emulate this exact behaviour and you can predict 90% of the next day's conversation by looking at reddit

"oh great. tomorrow the conversation will be about a cat falling off a roof onto a bouncy castle. I don't have to bother having that conversation now."

0
0

Austrian Tor exit relay operator guilty of ferrying child porn

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Nice move

Rather than try to go after users, blatantly the five eyes have decided to send a warning to any prospective node contributors:

"Do that and we'll have you in every paper in the country for possession and distribution of child pornography"

i expect this one to be rolled out a little more often as an intimidation tactic, even if it costs some people their livelihoods and reputations along the way

17
1

Golf bloke to Richard Branson: Get on board the future bus, where there's 'NO WEATHER'

Valeyard
Bronze badge

"It all went white"

That's selective memory loss, he must've glanced branson making the "wanker" hand sign to everyone else while he was making his hipster-speech and blocked out the criticism, as they are wont to do

3
0

BBC offers briefest of teasers for the next Doctor Who

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Nice

With that outfit I'm wondering if they've stopped trying to copy Tom Baker and if they've decided to go for a bit of Jon Pertwee :D

1
0

Drone's drug airdrop mission ends in failure for Irish prisoners

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: The anti-helicopter wires it hit

I was just about to post that :)

I've been to that prison (not as an inmate)

1
0

BOOM BOOM: Dixons fires the human cannon

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Ah Dixons

I was actually using my Dixons branded tape deck yesterday for the Spectrum

I had no idea they were still in business and therefore my impression of them is as a wonderful company who take a direct hand in loading manic miner for me

that tape deck will outlive them

2
0

Google Glass gets 2GB of RAM. Think about this. Two gigs of RAM

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: My biggest reservation

haha, "so yeah.." is along the same vein!

Go Go Gadget definitely has my vote

6
0
Valeyard
Bronze badge

My biggest reservation

Privacy etc has surely been covered to death elsewhere

But there's no way i'd be able to say "ok glass, ..." like i'm some indecisive prick who can't think ahead of his command and is deferring to glass by posting something into his audio suggestion box

I hope the command is redefinable

"ok glass... this may sound weird but hear me out and this just might work..."

5
0

Facebook goes TITSUP across WORLD! Who will look at your cousin's baby NOW?

Valeyard
Bronze badge

virgin

I can understand the virgin tweet

from experience, if one of the "big" sites goes down every broadband tech support guy cringes, because the lights will be red all over the board with idiots

4
0

Mobe battery flat? These ELECTRIC PANTS will pump things up

Valeyard
Bronze badge

If Carlsberg made contraceptives

Although would anyone who wears this have the opportunity to put his virility to use anyway?

0
0

DANGER MOUSE is back ... and he isn't half a GLASSHOLE

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: On being nick-named "Penfold"

Yeah there's a guy at my last company who everyone knew as Penfold because he looked EXACTLY like him

The depressing thing is though that half the student placements didn't know who the original Penfold was and completely missed out on the joke

3
0
Valeyard
Bronze badge

Aw man

The dialogue was really good in the original series, some very clever back and forths you only really appreciated the wit of which as an adult. I bet now it'll be sanitised and dumbed down with action and gadgets, I mean they even made postman pat more dull than the original and that's saying something!

I'm going get the drinks in, hole up and play black forest chateau on the c64 and wait for all of this to blow over

19
0

Supermodel Lily Cole: 'I got a little bit upset by that Register article'

Valeyard
Bronze badge

awww

diddums :(

0
0

How practical is an electric car in London?

Valeyard
Bronze badge

How to Improve electric cars

Put the manufacturers in direct competition with each other

Formula E is going to cause massive leaps forward in this field, as people look for the best manufacturer in this new area they'll be killing each other to win the electric racing world title

3
1

Give us a slice or we BLURT all your users' topping preferences to the WORLD

Valeyard
Bronze badge

"_anon"

So the self-styled saviours of the common man are blackmailing companies by threatening to provide said common-man's details to unsavoury parts of the internet?

I know they're supposedly a loose collective and all that, but surely there's been some sort of "nah this guy aint one of us"

Unless, of course, they're all dodgy and sometimes a crusading excuse sucks in the useful idiots to run your tools for you

2
0

Sealed with an XSS: I gave TweetDeck a heart attack, says teen comp sci boff Firo

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: BBC

what's annoying (not just bbc)

"here's john smith in Iraq, tell us what's happening john"

then there's poor john, with the label under him "John Smith", and under that, where there was formally the prestigious much coveted title of "war correspondent" is now "@johnsmith69"

maybe it was itv, but every newscaster, correspondent and weather man was introduced with a twitter id, and i bet they're forced to update them

2
0
Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: BBC

I complained about that on those very grounds a few years back, citing how every BBC news article at the time had 1-2 final paragraphs of twitter-user reactions, and my complaint was knocked back

To be fair though they seem to have knocked that on the head for the most part, it was very annoying

1
0

Kids hack Canadian ATM during LUNCH HOUR

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: how did they access it?

yeah this was the same for our small ATMs though (The ones that live indoors)

It just seems monumentally stupid

6
0
Valeyard
Bronze badge

how did they access it?

Was this done via the customer-facing keypad?!

When I maintained ATMs (as a bank-drone, not techy) the PC in the back had a separate inward-facing display inside the same safe where the cash was with fold out keyboard etc

so WHY would an engineer ever need to do it from the unsecure pad on the front?

8
0

Women are too expensive to draw and code – Ubisoft

Valeyard
Bronze badge

So which is it?

Too expensive or because the story demands a male character even if his avatar can change ?

The latter would be more credible, but I wasn't aware multiplayer games ever really needed a story, and the previous AC games had female assassins in both MP and SP (as part of the group of NPC assassin's you can summon)

1
2

Mobe-orists, beware: Stroking while driving could land you a £4k fine

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: GOOD

I'm afraid ukgnome is correct.

On a double decker, alongside your car, I can pretty much pinpoint which social media app it is you're using from its colour scheme

In fact the police up here are using lorry cabs for just this reason, if they see you using a phone for typing or reading (as opposed to the more-obvious calling) they can see and photograph it easier

10
0

EU privacy A-Team tells Google: Get a grip and obey OUR laws

Valeyard
Bronze badge

Re: Instead you have to go full Tor

If you use Tor you have to go through them; Google outright reject search requests once they detect your tor exit node

luckily if you have Orbot (Tor) on Android like me, you can replace your google search widget with "Start page" or something (Looks like it's through ixquick) and everything continues as usual

If you have root access to your phone Orbot is so simple and wonderful to use

0
1

Page: