* Posts by Dr_N

302 posts • joined 12 Nov 2012

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HTC One M9 Android smartphone: Like a M8 with a squinty eye

Dr_N
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"HTC has designed phones that are pretty distinctive "

How can a slab with a screen and camera on the back be more distinctive than any other slab with screen and a camera on the back?

Distinctive phones are dead. Long live conformity.

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Ford: Our latest car gizmo will CHOKE OFF your FUEL if you're speeding

Dr_N
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Re: France Rain Speed Limit

@Elmer Phud "Doesn't seem to work at all"

Oh I don't know a few months of ads featuring a tagline along the lines of:

"Think once. Think twice. Think C**T!"

would have people adhering to more responsible behaviour.

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Dr_N
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France Rain Speed Limit

Will it be hooked into the wipers so that it deducts 20kph from the posted limit when raining?

Also will it recognize the town name signs (and the crossed out name one when leaving a town/village) which infer a 50kph limit and return to national speed limit too?

Wouldn't it just be cheaper to teach people to drive by running old public service style ad campaigns to make certain types of driving habits/behaviour anti-social?

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Audi TT: It's NOT a hairdresser-mobile, the dash is too flash

Dr_N
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Re: LCD everywhere

@Gordon 10

You have a problem with people who wear glasses or are you just an Audi-o-phile apologist?

@joed

The stereotypical 6" gap that Audi drivers begrudgingly leave between their car and the car in front.

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Dr_N
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LCD everywhere

So I can't drive this car in sunlight as my polarizing sunglasses will mean I can't see any of the displays?

No loss really: I don't feel the need to sit 6" off the bumper of the car in front so will probably not be getting an Audi.

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Dear departed Internet Explorer, how I will miss you ... NOT

Dr_N
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French O-Level

Kudos on the French O-Level, Mr Dabbs

It's the only exam I failed. Spectacularly. With a "U". (Didn't stop me emigrating to France though.)

Corporate project names are not chosen to reflect the function of the project.

They are chosen at the whim of the project lead nerds to obfuscate said function.

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We're not sure what it is, but we like it: Lexus NX300h hybrid SUV

Dr_N
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Re: Butt ugly from all sides!

"And your point is? Because some of us wouldn't be seen dead in one. "

You think driving a Lexus over a Land Rover will make people like you on the roads?

[snigger]

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Yay! Wearables! It's the future! Uh-oh! I'm going to be sick

Dr_N
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Vinegar and Cat’s Piss

Reason enough to avoid the gym.

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For pity's sake, you FOOL! DON'T UPGRADE it will make it WORSE

Dr_N
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Re: This story just goes to prove...

Bit of a harsh statement about Mrs. Dabbs' revenue stream....

But granted, 1500 bucks for a keyboard is a bit OTT.

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Dr_N
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This story just goes to prove...

...we need a keyboard with LCD/eInk keytops that can be configured by the OS to the language/character-set you select, instead of configuring the O/S to accept different keyboards.

It is a royal pain in the 'arris working at tech companies that insist on having AZERTY keyboards for no other apparent reason than the secretaries are somehow involved in the keyboard purchasing decision.

AZERTY+UNIX is not a logical choice as you have to do finger gymnastics to get access to common special characters.

Solaris/CDE and it's "COMPOSE" key was way more practical. Someone actually took the trouble of making up keystrokes that resembled the character you want.

e.g. e + ' = é or e + ^ = ê

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French minister: Hit Netflix, Google, Apple et al with bandwidth tax

Dr_N
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"They much prefer a Hollywood blockbuster dubbed into French."

I think you pulled that "fact" out of your cul:

http://www.allocine.fr/boxoffice/france/

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BBC: SOD the scientific consensus! Look OUT! MEGA TSUNAMI is coming

Dr_N
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Re: So a meteor didn't wipe out the dinosaurs

A meteor doesn't strike the Earth, so no.

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Dr_N
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Is BBC Radio more rigourous ?

Perhaps because they don't have to chase the ratings?

e.g. Most of Radio4's output, including The Infinite Monkey Cage.

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PENGUINS are just TASTELESS, say boffins

Dr_N
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Linux

Not only are they tasteless...

...but also smaller than they were 30 years ago.

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Jaguar F-Type: A beautiful British thoroughbred

Dr_N
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@El_Fev

Re: "Is anyone here, interested in Indian cars made for Arabs and Chinese?"

"GTFO im voting UKIP, and could not give a fuck."

Obviously.

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Dr_N
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"Is anyone here, interested in Indian cars made for Arabs and Chinese?"

Is anyone here interested in your ranty UKIPer comments?

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Smartphones don’t dumb you down, they DUMB you UP

Dr_N
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Finbarr Saunder

Morning Mr Dabbs!

I sometimes get the impression on reading your column that, although you're a bit of a dab hand[sic] with the innuendo, when it comes to real smut 'n' durt you'd end up like a startled deer caught in the headlights. Or it just goes over your head.

Keep up the good work!

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BT coughs £12.5 billion for EE as fourplay frolics pay off

Dr_N
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It'll be up for sale in another 10 years

This is BT after all.

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Living with a Renault Twizy: Pah! Bring out the HOVERCRAFT

Dr_N
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Context is everything

Works well on the Cote D'Azur. Being charged by the goodness of nuclear and hydroelectric.

Less so anywhere in the north.

Also France has culture of "vehicles" that you can drive on the road without a licence from the age of 12 1/2. [sic] Unlike the UK.

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BYOD is NOT the Next Biggest Thing™: Bring me Ye Olde Lappetoppe

Dr_N
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BYOD

Massive fail in France as no one ever puts their hand in their pocket for laptop or mobile purchases.

It is a considered a human right that your employer will stump for a mobile and laptop.

And woe betide the manager who doesn't spec the latest and greatest shiny-shiny and has to deal with the day-in-day-out moaning about how unfair it is people are expected to call their wife/kids/homoeopathist (well they don't use them for work that's for sure) using a three year old Blackberry....

Nothing beats a sense of entitlement.

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Supersonic Bloodhound car techies in screaming 650mph comms test

Dr_N
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Re: Oh FFS

"Im all for technoporn but really? Are they building a fast car or some sort of mini-tech empire?"

Killjoy.

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HMRC fails to plan for £10.4bn contract exit... because it's 'too risky'

Dr_N
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Yet another uk.gov IT overspend and potential cock-up

Why is this newsworthy?

Now if they ever have a project that's delivered almost on schedule and near budget:

That would be newsworthy!

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Chunky Swedish ice maiden: Volvo XC60 D4 Manual EE Lux Nav

Dr_N
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Re: Equipment as standard/Options disabled

"How many of the items you are charged for are only options that have previously been disabled, such as all the heating elements and wiring installed in the seats but the software switch to turn it on is not available."

Cost-conscious car markers are unlikely to pay for heated seats in a car that won't use them.

Although the idea they could then charge 2nd or 3rd hand owners to activate such items has been mooted.

So as yet there aren't many manufacturers who load the cars and just disable the option in software.

(Apart from simple features like auto-folding wing mirrors. Where the difference between manual folding and auto folding doesn't entail additional hardware.)

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YOU. Your women are mine. Give them to me. I want to sell them

Dr_N
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Super Creepy?

Bit harsh.

Although I do have a question:

Is that "Heidi's" real speaking voice or is she doing some kind of baby-talk accent?

Also, the mention of "facial" is always good for a giggle.

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SFO: 'Insufficient evidence' for conviction over HP-Autonomy deal

Dr_N
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SFO

I thought everyone knew it meant Serious Farce Office?

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Citrix goes into the mouse business

Dr_N
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Asus Transformer

Touch Screen, Mouse, Mousepad or Stylus.

You choose what HID you want to use.

Sorted.

Was running a CDE session over Citrix on the Android phone the other day. Very useful.

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Renault Captur: Nobody who knows about cars will buy this

Dr_N
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Re: Looks Good For Dogs

If you are looking for a hound carrier check out Fiat's 500L

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Fill 'er up: 'Leccy car firm Tesla brings back PUMP SERVICE

Dr_N
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No change for Oregon or New Jersey then?

I didn't think people were trusted to "Fill 'er up!" on their own in those states anyway.

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You have a 'SIMPLE QUESTION'? Well, the answer is NO

Dr_N
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I blame the T-Shirt

In the good old days people who worked in shops wore shirts. Maybe even ties.

Now they dress like everyone else. And woe betide you if you walk into any outlet wearing the same coloured tee-shirt as the staff. You will be swamped.

And the people are bloody rude if you nicely explain you don't work there.

So it's better to tell them to, "**** off" to pre-empt their rudeness.

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Alfa Romeo Giulietta Quadrifoglio Verde: Fun, but not for all

Dr_N
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Driven Alfas for years

I've had 3 Alfas since 2001 and apart from the odd battery failure or problem with a German made piece of electronics or sensor have never had a major engine or mechanical issue with any of them.

With only the Giulietta or MiTo in the range to choose from (4C is a long wait and not an everyday car for work) 2014 has been the first year in 13 that I was Alfa-less.

And boy I miss it. This review gets close to capturing the Alfa "thing".

Alfisti have already waited too long:

Roll-on the new models and new (petrol) engines.

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Soon EVERYONE will be doing it with a strap-on: The Reg's 20 festive wearables

Dr_N
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It's the next thing since 3D TV

Big Hype.

Convinced the public want it.

Big investment.

Whoops.

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The STEALTH Plug-in Hybrid: Audi A3 e-tron Sportback

Dr_N
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I'll wait for the Skoda or SEAT versions...

Cheaper, and I won't feel the need to sit it 6 inches off the bumper of the car in front.

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Real Ale TWATS: In SPAAAACE, no one can churn your cream

Dr_N
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How was the Wombat Foetus ...

... "a bit nutty" ?

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Ford dumps Windows for QNX in new in-car entertainment unit

Dr_N
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"I, like anyone who hasn't just passed their test and is an average driver, can readily glance at a control and press it even if it is on a touchscreen"

Wrong.

You can feel for switches & button without taking your eyes off the road.

And there's feedback.

You have to look at a touch screen to use the controls on it.

Touchscreens don't belong in a cars.

HUDs, classic switchgear and maybe voice control are the only acceptable safe methods of fiddling with gadgets in a car.

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UK.gov STILL won't pop a cap on stolen mobile bills

Dr_N
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Re: SIM code lock

"If you have an annoying 'friend' who decides it would be fun to mis-enter your PIN three times then you cannot use your phone again without your network giving you a PUK code or posting you a new SIM. "

Hopefully your "friend" doesn't further enter the PUK incorrectly 10 times as that'll fry your SIM...

I'm amazed there still seems to be people who don't SIM lock.

Mine's been active since 1996. And it uses 6 digits , not 4.

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Égalité, Fraternité - Oui, peut-etre. Liberté? NON, French speedcam Facebookers told

Dr_N
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Only if they are " too accurate".

So long as they conform to NF Logiciel n° 203 and alert to a zone of a few kilometres rather than pin-pointing the exact location of the radar to within a couple of hundred meters they are legal in France.

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VW's Scirocco diesel: A sheep in Wolfsburg’s clothing

Dr_N
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Re: Diesel

"It's got the most energy of all fuels. Hence its efficiency and lower CO2 output."

You've missed the point, AC#1.

DERV use may result in lower CO2 emissions, but all the other nasty pollutants have increased as a result and people are now realising that choking themselves may not be the best course of action.

----

"In France Diesel is a lot cheaper than petrol. So can you really see the French government lowering the cost of petrol?"

Why would you think they'd reduce tax on petrol use, AC#2 ?!

DERV prices have been rising steadily over the last 5 years in France as gouv.fr has been been putting more on gazole, not decreasing tax on essence.

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Dr_N
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Re: Diesel

The French government (a major DERV backer for many years through manufacturer incentives and lower taxation on cars & fuel) has finally realised what a blight private DERVs are.

They'll be de-incentivizing them in the next 5 years. Hopefully it will spread from there.

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Dr_N
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Scirocco:

The Golf's ugly sister.

Who likes to wear very loud fluorescent colors like green or yellow.

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How HAPPY am I on a scale of 1 to 10? Where do I click PISSED OFF?

Dr_N
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Re: Although a fairly accurate and amusing portrayal of LHR security...

"Really? Or is it that there are lots of people who only rarely fly and are terrorfied by what might happen to them if they get a step wrong in the security checking?"

No. I'm talking about the morons.

You know the ones:

Business traveller. Too busy yabbering on the phone or emailing to sort out his overcoat, laptop, bag of "liquids", carry on suitcase (that's actually waaaay to big to be carry on) etc whilst in the queue.

And then just has to argue with the security bods as to whether his wallet has to go through the scanner or not.

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Dr_N
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Although a fairly accurate and amusing portrayal of LHR security...

... the real problem with airport security is the number of morons in the queue who have to be repeatedly told what to do. Thus slowing the whole process down.

Sometimes weighted surveys are useful. Especially the ones you have to hand out after running a training course, which are probably put on your file over at corporate HQ.

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Sinclair is back with the Spectrum Vega ... just as rubbish as the ZX

Dr_N
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Re: RCA? Pah. Young 'uns know nothing

"All hail the VIC-20 RAM Expander pack!"

Nah, the 3K Super Expander was were it was at.

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Fiat 500X: A fun-loving Goldilocks who'll get down and dirty

Dr_N
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So you're comparing the 2nd hand Disco you bought 5 years ago to a brand new 500X....?

The 500X costs half as much as a brand new full spec'd Evoque too. So what....?

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Dr_N
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Stop Start

At least Italy still has native car industry, producing cars that seem to be selling worldwide.

FCA must be doing something right to be selling so much metal.

Stop-Start is there to hit the emissions figures.

Just turn it off by pushing the button: Problem solved.

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Yes, UK. REST OF EUROPE has better mobe services than you

Dr_N
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Re: I have good coverage in France, can get 3G in the middle of nowhere...

Yup, ~60 Euros gets you unlimited voice & texts, about 12Gb of data per month as well as a couple of hours voice and a couple of hundred Meg data whilst roaming.

And that's for full fat, there are the cheaper "low-cost" alternatives too.

France has always been pretty good for service & coverage.

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I need a password to BRAKE? What? No! STOP! Aaaargh!

Dr_N
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Re: Stereotypes

"Have you been driving a BMW recently, Dr_N?"

Nope. Never, Mr AC.

@Alistair Dabbs

I've recently fitted a dashcam. Not for insurance purposes.

Just to share the exploits of incompetent Gallic drivers

with friends & colleagues.

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Dr_N
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Re: Stereotypes

"Nah, I remember driving in France on summer holidays. The French were ok drivers"

I live there. Believe me, they are quite bad.

I'm sure Mr Dabbs could write a whole book on French driving attitude and "skills".

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Dr_N
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Re: Sorry

Even the French sneer at modern Citroens. (Old persons car: The C6 was specifically designed and marketed with a retired 80 year old president in mind.)

Which is unfair as everyone knows it's Renault who really badly manufactures cars.

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Dr_N
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Stereotypes

Mr Dabbs,

Stereotyping people by the cars they drive is lazy journalism. Not all BMW drivers are utter c***s. (Although many probably are.)

You don't go around saying all French drivers are bad, do you? (Even if they are.)

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Androids in celluloid – which machine deserves the ULTIMATE MOVIE ROBOT title?

Dr_N
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ABC Warriors

Not the lone unit featured in Stallone's Dredd, but the whole cadre from 2000AD.

Now there's a bunch of comic characters that need a film adaptation.

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