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* Posts by Longrod_von_Hugendong

373 posts • joined 2 Nov 2012

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Tech that we want (but they never seem to give us)

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Coat

The three sea shells....

from demolition man.

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128-bit crypto scheme allegedly cracked in two hours

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Re: 94.6 bits

Is that the BRMB of bits? (I am sure BRMB was on 96.4, its a Birmingham radio station that doesn't exist anymore...)

YMMV on this joke...

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Google tells indie labels to take its YouTube deal or face OBLIVION

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

Do. No. Evil.

I think this says it all...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzRQ4QrZnXQ

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Microsoft swats away FBI request for Office 365 subscriber data

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Stop

Yes, we are not allowing this!!!

But we are allowing the other ones you dont see... don't allow M$BS to cloud your minds. M$ will fold quicker than a fat bloke punched in the stomach.

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Hello Moto... It's the Nokia Lumia 630

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Go

Looks like a solid...

Entry right in to the cheap end of the market. This might do more to get people into windows phone than anything else. I wonder if the screen still burns in like the more expensive models?

Will be interesting to see how this sells compared to low end Driod handsets. I suspect the sales stats will be the most sort after things when it comes to this phone. If I am in town over the weekend I think I will try to see if there are any in the earphone whorehouse.

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Microsoft to release epic Xbox One update in June

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

I have been a fan of the Xbox360 for years...

But WTF is going on with the xbone? Sounds to me like the windoze mobile people have had their hands on it, all this type of stuff should have been ready at release time. The 360 has had external storage capacity for years, and don't get me started about price...

I might be having to move camps here...

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Silent Circle raises $30m to make more anti-snoop smartphones

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Stop

Look at it another way...

How much money is on the tablet if you can sell backdoors to the NSA as well?

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Forget phones, BlackBerry's new Project Ion is all about THINGS

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Devil

The trick, Saunders said, is that these days,

Is not letting people know Blackberry has bought it, so we still have some value.

I think that was the quote he was looking for, BB and Windoze fone are fighting for the toilet bottom at the moment, so you probably don't want your device associated in anyway with the company. Plus Apple are moving into cars etc. so that has already got the industry spooked.

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Are you senior enough to sit around a table with The Register?

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Go

Fear me...

For I am root. We are the Invisible Hand. We are the administrators. We come before and after. We are forever, and you better not annoy us to much!! :D

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Don't snap SELFIES at the polls – it may screw up voting, says official

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

What idiot...

Would try to do that? Nevermind, just answered my own question... pretty much all of them.

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BRITS: Wanna know how late your train is? Now you can slurp straight from the source for free

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Good Thing (TM)

This is a good thing, all times of Trains and Buses should be open and free. This might encourage more people to use them. Also a powerful tool to persuade the powers that be, that the service is shit and thats why we don't use them :D

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No such luck: Apple, Samsung say peace talks are off – way off

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Go

Who would have thought it...

a company who doesn't want you to steal its ideas and make money from them.

Apple, how dare you do such a thing.

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Brits to vote: Which pressing scientific challenge should get £10m thrown at it?

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Boffin

All good projects...

But missing the obvious ones...

1) Create liquid fuel from atmospheric gases, create petrol or diesel from stuff in the air. This means I can still use my V8 powered car, rather than covering to a milk float.

2) Cold fusion - come on, what list is not complete without this? (At least if I do have to drive a milk float it will have a Mr. Fusion on the back)

3) Vacuum propeller / reaction-less engines / Warp drive.

4) High temp superconductors, that work at 100 C for example.

Those are the real obvious ones I can think of, plus solving some of these would make solving the other issues pretty simple.

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Tennessee bloke cuffed for attempting to shag ATM – police

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Here is hoping...

They cleaned the ATM afterwards!!

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Urinating teen polluted 57 Olympic-sized swimming pools - cops

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

Lets see...

38,000,000 Gallons = 143,845,647 Litres (American Gallons) Average pee = 0.4 litres.

In conclusion, Americans are stupid.

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Windows Phone Live: An enterprise story

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

Shouldn't the slogan read...

Bandwagon, we have jumped on it

Do. Not. Want.

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Chap rebuilds BBC Micro in JavaScript

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Good on him...

Well done, up there with rubrics cube solvers etc. Proving JS can do some things :D

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Carphone Warehouse, Dixons embroiled in £3.7bn merger rumour

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

Touch of Death...

is what that merger sounds like.

I wish Yodobashi camera would just come to the uk and show us what tech shops should be like, rather than the crap we have here.

I would even settle for BIC Camera.

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The ULTIMATE space geek accessory: Apollo 15's joystick up for sale

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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I have to admit,

I would love to own the joy stick both for novelty value and for its significance. Sadly I cannot afford a biding war on it. I might well put a low level bid for it just to say I did.

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'A proper British BOFFIN': Famous Martian prof Pillinger dies aged 70

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Let no man...

Stop your final journey, for you take it alone.

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Hungry for humbler Pi? Check out kid-friendly LED-laden Pibrella

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Seems a good...

Addition to the pi, its there for education use, cheap enough to buy 2 and could be a spring board to more, looks like an epic win.

Lots of thumbs up!

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Virgin Media sales are a bit flat under the Cable Cowboy's reign

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Holmes

A company no one has heard of...

has no effect on sales - well that is a no shit sherlock moment. The only effect on sales is their crap customer everything.

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HALF of London has outdated Wi-Fi security, says roving World of War, er, BIKER

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Facepalm

Why a large battery?

Wouldn't be better to charge from the act of peddling the bike, would also make a much better project as well.

As for insecure networks... I hope this helps to raise the awareness of this problem. Its no too good in this day and age.

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Source code for world's first MUD, Essex Uni's MUD1, recovered

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Awesome...

I remember spending many hours playing LPMUD at university, was fantastic...

Runs on the fastest graphics processor ever - the imagination :D

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Larry Ellison looks out from his island paradise and thinks: I wanna buy the LA Clippers

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Angel

Cos its not a real sport...

Not interested.

Real Sport List - Cricket, Rugby, Yachting, power boat racing (I know we have our little pleasures)

Oaf Sport List - Australian rules football, football in general.

Boring sports - Rounders (AKA Baseball, Softball), Anything played with a ball where you need protection. see exception above, curling (Bowls on ice without the interest)

I am glad I have cleared that up for everyone. :D

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CenturyLink slashes prices to guarantee its megacloud future

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Stop

There is only 1 thing to be found in a race to the bottom...

shit.

and that is was we are all going to get at some point - or our cloud data and traffic searched for adverts... any of them could do it.

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Titsup UK Border IT causes CHAOS at air and seaports in Blighty

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

Lack of customer service...

is not limited to slow moving passport lines - its endemic of most of the British service industry. The lack of sorry is terrible and completely inexcusable, peoples fear of being blamed for stuff is part of the problem as well. Without a radical rethink of customer service it will always be the same.

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EU antitrust bods: Motorola, Samsung too dominant to take on poor little Apple

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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They had better be careful...

Stoping Apple would mean they would have to design their own stuff, which would be a terrible disaster - as we have seen previously.

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Russia 'incompatible with the internet', cries web CEO 'axed by Putin'

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

Only moaning / running...

cos your got caught out, the louder someone shouts about not doing something / other people doing it, the more they have done it as well.

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Windows Phone: Just as well Microsoft bought an Android maker, RIGHT?

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Facepalm

The entire enterprise...

is the worlds largest face palm fail moment, M$ knows nothing about mobile devices, nor has it learnt after getting its fingers burnt (Hello Zune)

Nokia, market leader in mobiles / smart phones manage to flush it all away by basically having no clue what so ever what was happening. The only saving grace is Nokia hardware is (was) pretty good. Well, was until about 12 months ago. Have you seen the screen burn in on demo Nokias? WTF is happening there.

This will go on for about 18 months or so, until M$ dumps the whole lot, and Nokia just builds some good Android hand sets, it would have more than a chance to rival Samsung et al, like it *should have done 2 years ago*

M$ would have been better trying to buy RIM, they at least have some competent people, although the management have managed to mixed up their aftershave with the way the wind is blowing. Maybe a realty fist in the face could bring them back. Windows phone is currently an also ran, and will stay that way unless Apple and Andriod do a Nokia, which probably won't happen certainly not in the next 2 - 4 years.

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Brit IT workers are so stressed that 'TWO-THIRDS' want to quit

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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although anyone familiar with IT types might...

suspect other factors are at play.

Gee, thanks for the stereo typical, slightly racist view of IT people, coming straight from an IT site.

I know El Reg is not a bastion of journalistic excellent, but come on.

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Quid-a-day Reg nosh posse chap fears for his waistline

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Go

I think...

You will live, don't worry about it. I think the slight fasting will encourage some of the fat on the inside to go away, unless you have like 3% body fat or something silly like that.

Remember to drink plenty of water, food we can manage without for quite a while, water we cannot.

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94% of Brit tech bosses just can't get the staff these days, claims bank

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

Re: Sir

You are correct here, the only problem is unless the person applies separately from the agency then it doesn't come to light.

This is the reason why I hate dealing with agencies.

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New .london domains touted tomorrow amid usual tech hypegasm

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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why .london instead of...

.shithole

.crapplacetolive

.toilet

.overpriced housing

.homeof4x4takingkidstoschool

.beingapretenioustwatinChelsea

I am sure I could think of many many more things instead of .london if I thought about it.

or

.nodnol

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Everything you always wanted to know about VDI but were afraid to ask (no, it's not an STD)

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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An interesting, yet common sense article...

But the more common sense is mentioned, the less of it there seems to be about.

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Apple patents Wi-Fi access point location lookup

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

This is so not worth...

a patent, this should be thrown out.

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Chap builds mobe based on Raspberry Pi

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Great project...

Better build quality than most Android phones I see if car phone whorehouse.

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No longer a 'hobby', Apple TV rakes in ONE BEEELLION DOLLARS

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Re: Instead

blipverts - fantastic!! Large thumbs up for that one

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All men are part of a PURE GENETIC ELITE, says geno-science bloke

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Angel

Thank god...

We don't have KY genes, cos it would be a slippery slope otherwise...

(Or I was going to go with Thank god for evolution, please pick which ever one makes you laugh the most.)

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Bevy of tech behemoths aim to plug the next Heartbleed with DOLLARS

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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As long as its only money...

then its great. They should not allowed any control etc. over it.

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Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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WTF?

She looks like...

Someone to rush home to meet your parents.

I know you are not supposed to judge a [ned|chav] by their look but holy crap.

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Shut up, Siri, I'm watching telly! iOS 7.1 code reveals new role for Apple's PA

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Seems more probably...

That iTimeDevice will have Siri support.

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Dell charges £5 to switch on power-saving for new PCs (it takes 5 clicks)

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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WTF?

So...

As mentioned before, Dell is a company that sells things, for *profit*. I work the same way, you want me to do something its going to cost you. A business exists to make money.

If you don't want to pay don't select it. Its not like you are being *forced* to do it.

I know its punishing stupid people a bit, but there you go, welcome to a free market economy.

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No longer Square: Pear-shaped payments biz seeks buyer - report

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

So, what you are saying is...

Doesn't really work in the market place and doesn't make enough from charges, someone didn't do the research and failed to crunch the numbers.

Fail to plan, plan to fail.

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OnePlus One equals 'killer' new mobe running CyanogenMod

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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WTF?

People, People...

If its too good to be true, it probably is. Be very careful with this one.

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Oh no, Joe: WinPhone users already griping over 8.1 mega-update

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Devil

Sounds to me...

Like you bought the wrong phone. Mind you, you probably figured that one out in the first couple of weeks.

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Did a date calculation bug just cost hard-up Co-op Bank £110m?

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

The weak link...

is probably the fact the programmer(s) used don't use the gregorian calendar natively.

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A black box for your SUITCASE: Now your lost luggage can phone home – quite literally

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Angel

Too the all the why questions...

Go and watch 'baggage battles' then you will see why.

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Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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FAIL

Nothing is going to change...

All the TLA agencies will still search all your files...

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Adrian Mole author Sue Townsend dies at 68

Longrod_von_Hugendong
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Unhappy

Another bit...

of my youth gone - but not forgotten, I remember very vividly reading the Mole books when just starting Middle school, a must read for everyone. Sue you will be sadly missed.

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