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* Posts by king of foo

308 posts • joined 2 Oct 2012

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UK cops: Give us ONE journo's phone records. Vodafone: Take the WHOLE damn database!

king of foo
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woopsy

Yes, I believe you... by accident you say. Uhu.

A very convenient way to give the police what they want with the minimum fuss and effort.

As an analyst, I often do something a bit like this when responding to a query because the specific question is never complex enough. In order to get to the real truth you often need to ignore a specific brief and try to fathom and understand the true requirement, then answer that instead.

Often the recipient is too stupid to see what you've done and claims you are giving them "too much" or "that isn't what I asked for". Recognising this, then ignoring future requests is often a good way to make then go away.

But I don't do this with sensitive data on "people" (e.g. salary benchmarking). That's just wrong. And if I was tempted, I'd merely present my findings at an anonymised, aggregated level, never the source data.

This smells to me of an intentional act being explained away as a mistake. There was definitely motive. I'd want an independent investigation, and perhaps to consider the prosecution of both parties involved. Prosecution of senior directors. An ombudsman needs to have oversight of this. I can see a junior clerk being sweet talked; "just give us it all if it's a pain to filter it down to the right person" - I've successfully used this tactic myself to obtain pricing data for competitors using the same supplier as me. This is a little bit naughty, admittedly. The police hold a position of extreme trust so if they are grifting like this... Hmmmm...

If the police are abusing their powers we need to strip those powers from them, not give them more. Theresa, are you listening, bitch?

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Apple surges in on the BYOD wave

king of foo
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web/servs

Gone are the days when you needed a windows PC with ie6 to interact with company systems.

And about bloody time too.

I pity anyone left with the burden of supporting hardware specific abandonware.

I like this trend towards uber simple end user experience; it means less phone calls asking where the "any" key is. "Just mash the screen with your face" works just as well.

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All aboard the Poo Bus! Ding ding, route Number Two departing

king of foo
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Re: 10,000 passengers a month?

Yes, but roughly half of them will encounter the mystery of the invisible poo

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king of foo
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silent but violent

Now cyclists will wake up in a&e not only with broken bones, but smelling faintly of shit...

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GCHQ and Cable and Wireless teamed as Masters of the Internet™

king of foo
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Re: money

Apologies, my French is restricted to 4 letter words these days (like "bank", Mr Bryant) and I spent my lessons at school smoking and trying to get into a certain girl's knickers instead of actually attending. Thankfully I have never once been to France so it was a decision well made, even if I did fail miserably!

...and thanks, anti-troll defence league, I hope you have a lovely weekend,

Oh reservoir (full of tears of regret), moan Amy (to someone else's embrace)

I wonder if she's still single, if not I might be trying to figure out if it's cherchez la femme or le femme...

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king of foo
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money

This really pisses me off. We've been in a global recession due to banks, who are supposed to be regulated by government, being greedy arseholes, and then bailed out by taxpayer money... and then we find out that as well as this happening, and big corps dodging tax, the bloody g men have been spaffing millions more tax payers money away every month to spy up someone else's skirt!

You'll be telling me they've been protecting pedos next... oh, wait, what???

Vive le revolution

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Nexus 7 fandroids tell of salty taste after sucking on Google's Lollipop

king of foo
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Re: Is this viz?

Agreed.

Ew,just ew.

...but all in good taste

Er...

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Microsoft adds video offering to Office 365. Oh NOES, you'll need Adobe Flash

king of foo
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Re: Security?

Ebola goes optical...

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Patch NOW! Microsoft slings emergency bug fix at Windows admins

king of foo
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Re: ALL YOUR XP BELONG US?

It's worse. He's wearing a Wales rugby shirt...

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Anonymous ‪hacks the Ku Klux Klan after Ferguson‬ threats

king of foo
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...and don't forget a glass of wine for the lad-ettes...

My glasses are by no means rose tinted, but I find it hard to believe that the KKK is still "a thing" in the tail end of 2015.

I wonder... could Anonymous switch KKK medical subscriptions for chemical castration pills?

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DEATH fails to end mobile contract: Widow forced to take HUBBY's ASHES into shop

king of foo
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system works perfectly

Muppets entering data confirmed to be muppets.

This happened to me with virgin mobile. I cancelled the contract, then a full month after the payments should have stopped I cancelled the direct debit.

They set up a brand new contact on a new number after I cancelled and ported my number away to another provider. This is what was billed for. Then, even though they had my original number, didn't think that calling me on it might resolve the issue of payment immediately.

At best, muppets. At worst, scam artists. Damaged my credit rating as well.

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Sarong it's right: Coining it in Thailand without a visa

king of foo
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pre-shattered dreams

I often wonder what working life would be like sitting by/on a beach with my laptop on my, well, on my lap. Swapping the sea breeze for the air con, the waves for the chatter of work colleagues, the calm for the stress.

Then I wake up; my pasty Scottish skin would burn. My laptop battery would die every 2 hours. It would rain. There would be a tornado or hurricane. I'd get paranoid; wondering what the locals were saying. My phone signal would cut in and out. My internet connection would be crap. My paradise would be a nightmare of aftersun and mosquitoes. And I'd get an apocalyptic dose of the shits.

Then, to top it all off, someone from India would poach my clients, working harder, and probably better, for less. I'd end up working for pennies, barely scraping a living. Then my laptop would die and I'd struggle to find a replacement or get it fixed. This would happen mid project and I'd lose my best client.

Real life sucks.

Sorry to blast the fun out of this, I truly hope people are enjoying "the dream" but I'll take my dreary Monday mornings...

Unless someone offers me a job on the beach... with guaranteed work every day, and corporate sun cream. I'll start tomorrow...

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The MIGHTY Scotch egg

king of foo
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Re: Breakfast balls

You may need to revisit the name, otherwise females (and certain males) might file this in the same folder as "birthday blowjobs".

This is directly related to the source article as well; in certain bedrooms north of the border the phrase "git her gams roond these scotch eggs, hen" is quite common.

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Is your kid ADDICTED to web porn? Twitter? Hint: Don't blame the internet

king of foo
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Call of Booty

I suspect the sex, drugs and alcohol may have more to do with the grin than unbridled access to the tinterwebs. Although I'm sure he posts pictures on the twatbook afterwards...

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Behold the Lumia 535 NOTkia: Microsoft wipes Nokia brand from mobes

king of foo
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FINALLY

it looks like they've stuffed a decent amount of ram in there!

I have no doubt this will be a decent bit of kit. On specs and price alone this looks like a potential android beater at the 'gutter' end.

Would I buy one? Hells no, but I can see friends and relatives using these happily. I'd like a play to see for myself, but it would be really difficult to take this spec and screw it up. My only real negative feedback re budget lumias has been the lack of ram; this fixes that issue. Now they just need to drop the cheesy adverts... and maybe give them away for free with windows 8 computers by way of an apology...

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GOD particle MAY NOT BE GOD particle: Scientists in shock claim

king of foo
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Porky

Pig's Bison?

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Modern Panic V: A world of H.R. Giger, spunking unicorns and deeply unsettling puppets

king of foo
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Re: I'm not looking/sounding quite so weird now...

My word of the week is "thing"

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king of foo
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I'm not looking/sounding quite so weird now...

I don't get this "art" thing. I can appreciate pretty things, and not so pretty things, but some of this shit is just beyond me.

This, coming from someone who proudly sported a purple Mohawk in his "youth" and has read and watched far too many things.

One of the first things I ever read as a child always springs immediately to mind whenever I see/hear/read this kind of thing; Hans Christian Anderson's The Emperor's New Clothes...

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Blizzard shows off Overwatch – yet another guardians of Earth FPS

king of foo
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Re: accent

They need to watch this

A tour of the British Isles in accents: http://youtu.be/-8mzWkuOxz8

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Got a STRAP-ON? Remember to TAKE IT OFF at WORK

king of foo
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Re: re. Rampant Rabbi, etc.

I now know where I'm buying ALL my Christmas presents!

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All but full-fat MS Office to be had on iPads, Droidenslabben for NOWT

king of foo
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fab

I for one look forward to comparing this to wps office on android.

The article didn't mention macros. Does anyone know if they will be supported (in a limited capacity)? If so that's awesome news for anyone that has to support finance or works in B.I., if not then well, it's not a shock.

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Microsoft's TV product placement horror: CNN mistakes Surface tabs for iPAD STANDS

king of foo
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bing it

I don't know what they were smoking when they came up with the name "bing" but I want some.

I still find it ridiculous and it's even more absurd when you hear it coming out of someone's mouth.

Bing makes me think "Bong"; maybe I'm right about the smoking...

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The Great Smartphone Massacre: Android bloodbath gathers pace

king of foo
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Re: Dear Sony.

I'm in danger of troll feeding, however a nexus 4 or 5 sim free + sim only deal that only gives you the mins and data you actually need can be cheaper. Ask yourself how many of those perishable mins you don't use every month just to get that more desirable hardware. It's a con.

I got really angry when my granny's pay as you go mins disappeared and she started being asked to top up "every month" to get the same average cost per theoretical minute/text. She used to pay for what she used, when she used it, and a £10 top up could last her months and months. Thieving swines. Then the contracts went from 12 to 18 to 24 months. Try to find a 12m contract that isn't through a 3rd party... then give it 7 days... I guarantee someone from the actual operator will contact you and offer to swap you over to a "standard" deal that somehow saves you money... but costs more as it's for another 12 months!

When you change your computer you don't change your ISP. Why should mobile devices be any different? When did mobile operators stop selling good service and start flogging hardware? Coverage can be shocking, especially on lower tariffs. I'm hoping and praying for massive change in this space. The death of phones 4u should be a wakeup call to consumers that something isn't quite right...

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king of foo
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Re: Google dives headlong into the mess

I'm similarly bemused. I have 3 nexus devices and was all for getting a 4th, but these new ones look, well, distinctly non nexus. I'll wait, and wait, for ubuntu. I don't NEED a new shiny, I just want one, like old Mick Jagger says.

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iBail: American Psycho actor Christian Bale rejects Steve Jobs role

king of foo
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Re: Perhaps a change in film style

...you mean like google glass?

<rotating noise from coffin>

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king of foo
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Re: I see what you did there...

Hmmm... Slight twist, how about Leonardo DiCaprio... what's eating Gilbert grape... Johnny depp!

...and Tim Burton.

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king of foo
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Re: @TechnicallyConfused "cannot agree with or condone your use of language."

In a previous life/role I included a few diabolical lines in a word vba script that changed the font colour ever so slightly to highlight 4 particular letters when printed; on screen you'd be none the wiser. We had a lot of "Scunthorpe" related memos and communications, which were usually printed out and pinned up on the walls of various business locations... I found it amusing recently upon encountering said *.doc template still in use, along with said VBA, as there were other meaningful things going on within the script and I had a password protecting my masterpiece...

it was 4 letters long..

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UN: Fossil fuels should be TERMINATED 86 years from now

king of foo
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Re: meaningless. how long?

Ha. Thumbed down for the Uranus gag. Obviously a few weren't listening in physics the day they told us about atmospheres on other planets. Uranus is mostly hydrogen. I wasn't trying to be aggressive, just wasn't sure where the assumption that I was mentally challenged (however true that may be) came from.

Tree Hugging, I believe, is more about the weed and sense of belonging/rebellion than environmentalism, and focuses on the immediate term impact on local ecosystems rather than the "big picture". Both have merit but I'd tend to side with the tree huggers in that they are actively trying to protect something tangible that is being exploited for profit. I'd say we need to build new forests, say of bamboo, rather than cut down existing ones that have been there for centuries/were (shush...) planted by Victorian industrialists... I'd also suggest planting "glow in the dark" plants (I'm sure they exist!) in place of street lighting and perhaps along the side/middle of roads. I might look for some for the garden now I mention it!

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king of foo
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Re: Needs

Businesses love Maslow, me, I prefer Taylor. Maslow tells us we don't need a pay rise or a bonus because we should be content with our safe clean working environment; Taylor says we bloody well do you tight fisted b*****s!

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king of foo
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Re: meaningless. how long?

Hydrogen as an energy source? Have you been sniffing Uranus? Nuclear Power could be used in the production of hydrogen (as a fuel). It would also make sense to combine such an operation with some kind of desalination plant.

Toxins; I'm assuming you refer to the birth of the catalytic converter. C0 and carcinogens from diesel are still an issue today and I'd imagine there are far more vehicles on the road today...

And plastics in the ocean is a problem, but oil based plastics that are toxic when burned and don't biodegrade are just, well, nasty full stop. There are alternatives that burn cleanly and/or completely biodegrade. Governments can make these alternatives far more attractive by effective use of taxation (and lack thereof) which in turn should lead to investment in R&D to reduce costs and improve efficiency.

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king of foo
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meaningless. how long?

Petrol + diesel could be replaced by hydrogen. Plastics could be severely limited and replaced by wood, paper and other biological materials. Nuclear Power stations could be built on mass.

Instead we are feeding greedy corporations masquerading as being green but in reality doing precious little to address the reality of the situation.

I don't care if global warming is real or not, pollution is real; we can see the plastics in the ocean and the toxins in the air. In 86 years I'll be dead; I want to see change in my lifetime. Now.

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Pirate Bay co-founder JAILED for three years after massive CSC HACK ATTACK

king of foo
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Re: CSC Deserves What They Got.

It's far easier to criminalise people for exposing your weaknesses than to address those weaknesses. It's also a good idea to mask your ineptitude by claiming the perpetrators are a tiny number/faction of evil geniuses. Then you give this small group of "enemies" a catchy name. It's a tactic governments throughout the world have used to great effect since time immemorial and recently big business has latched onto the practice. It's particularly effective when the subject at hand is complicated or "private" and your average Joe doesn't know anything about it.

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Sky ponders 200,000-customer MVNO 'trial'. Soft launch, anyone?

king of foo
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Re: MVNO; Mischievious Vultures Need Opiates?

Vegan Mutant Ninja Owls.

Vegan Mutant Ninja Owls.

Vegan Mutant Ninja Owls.

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king of foo
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MVNO; Mischievious Vultures Need Opiates?

Initialisms confuse and anger me, especially those that are in an illogical order. Surely VMNO would make more grammatical sense; Virtual Mobile Network, um, Orangutans. You know, they're like TMNT, only less green.

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Planning to fly? Pour out your shampoo, toss your scissors, RENAME TERRORIST WI-FI!

king of foo
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Re: hmmm...

Agreed - I wouldn't have raised an alarm if I saw that ssid - tbh it would more than likely have been mine. The hotspot on my mobile is currently "I kick cats guess who I am"

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king of foo
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hmmm...

If I was on that plane I'd maybe laugh, then definitely get a bit sweaty. If they'd played it really lighthearted and said "hey, who's the joker with the stupid WiFi address" and said "dude" had stood up and taken a bow, then changed it all would have been well. But they didn't.

I can't really say exactly how I'd have felt in that situation but I can see people who were actually there being grateful for the action taken. Fear is fear; sometimes our fragile psyche requires our "keepers" to act out of hysterical paranoia rather than quiet apathy. I know what I'd have found worse; inaction.

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How iPad’s soft SIM lets Apple pit carriers AGAINST each other

king of foo
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Re: Only in America

Hmmm... it's almost as bad in the UK; we can go

1. T-Mobile/Orange/EE

2. O2/Telefonica

3. Vodafone

4. 3 (because Antioch)

Um... that's it! Everyone else piggybacks off one of the above. I also think 3 may have ties to Orange, sorry EE, but I could be making that up. They aren't really a 'big player' but they are 'a player'.

I've had crap service from all 4 of the above, and as middlemen like phones4u appear to be doomed, news of anything potentially damaging to the power of the big 3 (or 4) brands gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Telecoms in general make me uncomfortable. We talk ill of google, ms and apple re privacy, but DARE we shine a light on telco's???

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Painfully trendy: Someone just spent $200k on ebola.com

king of foo
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Re: Local version

Pepsebola.com is also free...

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Weekend reads: Russell Brand's Revolution and Joy Division's Ian Curtis gets lyrical

king of foo
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the forbidden words

A week without the following naughty words might be interesting:

Apple

Microsoft

Google

Samsung

Intel

ARM

Snowden

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Pay a tax on every gigabyte you download? Haha, that's too funny. But not to Hungarians

king of foo
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<consults phrasebook>

"Please fondle my bum"

No, that can't be right...

"Do you want to come back to my place — bouncy-bouncy?"

Hmmm... No, I've got it now:

"My hovercraft is full of eels"

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OnePlus One cut-price Android phone on sale to all... for 1 HOUR

king of foo
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run forest, run

Law 5: stupid is as stupid does

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WAITER! There's a Flappy Bird in my Lollipop!

king of foo
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hmmm...

...this still doesn't explain why they've DOUBLED the price of the nexus line.

I was loving the cheap frills of my n4, n5 and n7. My wallet hurts. Time to return to form and run old hardware with custom software that isn't full of bloat and find that what I've got already is actually 10x more than I really need.

Hmmm... I might see if I can find a phone that just makes calls... and lasts 7days+ between charges. Actually, I might MAKE one.

Thanks google for freeing me from the bonds of greed.

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Redmond top man Satya Nadella: 'Microsoft LOVES Linux'

king of foo
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confused

Why do people rent air again?

Me, I'd buy an air machine, figure out how it works and maybe hire some staff to do the same and maintain it. Those staff could do a few other things as well now and again...

Nah, listen to the execs, just spend money. Nobody ever got fired for buying something. Well, unless you count prostitutes.

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Sign off my IT project or I’ll PHONE your MUM

king of foo
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Re: Toilet breaks?

The last time I, er, shed some weight at work, the bloke in the stall next to me's phone rang - and he answered it.

Queue a raft of deafening farts, coughs, grunts, newspaper ruffling, spits and flushing from the various stalls so it was more than obvious where he was taking the call.

What's that expression? Hive mind?

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king of foo
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Re: Special

It's not always the UATers being lazy/busy.

I've been on the wrong end of too many UAT's that appear to have completely skipped all the previous testing that's supposed to happen. I.e. I spot an issue in 10 seconds then have to waste an hour documenting it and speaking to the devs on the phone. All this without any UAT process/documentation to hand. Oh, you don't need to do any of that, just send us an email saying it's OK. Er, NO, this is EXACTLY why the last 5 releases went to shit. You need your begrudging testers to follow a step by step test process with multiple scenarios because, as mr dabbs says, they don't give a toss; not spend 5 mins tinkering then go sod it, I'm off home "it's fine". It isn't.

I'd guesstimate that a good 70% of UAT is done by people who will never actually use what they are testing, don't bother doing any testing and just sign it off. Of the 30% that do, because they are given no guidance they do a crap job and miss problems.

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Martha Lane Fox: YEUCH! The Internet is MADE by MEN?!?

king of foo
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er

I'm fully aware the downvotes are about to flood in, but, in amongst the tripe and gibberish, doesn't she actually have a point re voting?

Postal voting? Please. Actually turning up, queueing amid the great unwashed, then, snort, using a pen? How quaint.

If I actually believed any of these pompous arseholes and wanted to vote for them, my lazy gene would immediately kick in and insist I sit on the sofa with my feet up and watch the election coverage on TV instead.

If voting is made simple and convenient more people will do it, and it can happen more frequently. If anyone cares.

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Aboard the GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP, there's a Mobe and a Slab and a TELLYBOX

king of foo
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Re: Urgh - I was really hoping they would pull an "Apple"

I'm using both a 4 and a 5. 1 charges while I'm out using tother, then I swap back and forth.

The 4 is still solid. I didn't "need" to get the 5, but I "wanted" it. I find myself pining for a 6 now.

Oy, Ubuntu, where's my phone, bitch?!?! Take. My. Money.

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Sway: Microsoft's new Office app doesn't have an Undo function

king of foo
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Re: continuing the trend

PowerPoint did no such thing. I see my fair share of presentations and can guarantee that neither thinking nor facts have anything to do with the godawful mess that finds itself on screen most of the time. If you added up all the hours wasted by middle management types pulling together hideous presentations you could probably rebuild the Eiffel tower, to scale, out of lollipops sticks. After eating said lollipops. Mmmmm lollipops...

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Windows 10: Forget Cloudobile, put Security and Privacy First

king of foo
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Re: Nonsense.

Stop feeding the ac trolls!

Now... if you're (still) struggling with the ribbon interface there are free (as in beer) options at your disposal. You could rock your own vba addon, or, to mess with the actual ribbon xml check out this dude's site; he's a legend

http://www.rondebruin.nl/win/s2/win001.htm

...but I agree, we shouldn't have to resort to this sort of thing at all. So far as I can tell the ribbon is more "finger friendly" and therefore MS don't need to accommodate 2 menu systems, hence a mixture of iPad envy and laziness resulted in the ABOMINATION that is the ribbon.

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Greedy datagrabs, crap security will KILL the Internet of Thingies

king of foo
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sentient fridge

I'm sorry Dave, you're too fat. I replaced your order of bacon with qu-acon.

NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo! / do not want

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