61 posts • joined 2 Oct 2012
Invisible speed cameras...
That offer you great deals on "need for speed on Xbox 1"
Isn't Netflix also £5.99 a month...
What's all this "home licencing" BS. Have MS totally lost touch with the proportion of their market that they borked w8 to attempt to woo? I can see a "family" being willing to pay £1 a month for EVERYONE in that (direct) family to use office on any number of devices. Pretty much every parent could afford and would respect that price point. MS would be a generous giant and friend of the family/student.
A billion £1 coins is better than a million £10 notes.
For the amount if use a home user would get out of office they simply can't pitch the price that high. In many case they'd be charging something like £10 an hour for access. Madness.
Pull your socks up Google and get the next android release to support desktops/laptops (not nec. Touch screen) out of the can. More home users will be attracted to that than chrome os. And make it install easily from within windows (XP+). Boom.
Battery charger come coffee flask
Where do I sign?
in other news
Cyber terrorists resurrect CLIPPY
where are the stats
For ms update?
I'd like to know how many of those XP machines are currently "virgin".
I know for a fact that certain well known and well used outsourced support engineers like to use 5 year old XP images with java 6 and an ancient flash player. Ugh. Oh, but they remove minesweeper and solitaire...
Add to that the genius group policies actually completely disabling windows update for fear of unwanted reboots.
Throw in a sprinkling of perhaps 90% of the users running laptops with kids at home managing to install utorrent on mummy or daddy's laptop, or simply the users rocking insecure WiFi when they are out and about and swapping USB drives with customers and suppliers...
Stir briskly and add a splash of " antivirus only updates when I'm on the work LAN, but I never bother connecting because its too slow. I do all my work at home or in the field"
I'm going to get some popcorn.
Just for Monday morning s***s and giggles pretend you are reading an advert for windows 8 and windows store.
in other news
Dog farts during extended family gathering
awesome beard dude
That is all
Ooh! 2 thumbs downs! At least I did something right today if I p'd off a couple of middle managers that also happen to be commentards.
Sharks would indeed add value. And perhaps some bubble bath.
Re: WHY because Why waste that old Hardware, its bad for Planet Earth.
"Um, but the helldesk only know how to use/fix windows...
And we spent £££££££s recruiting and training microsofties."
"I know, but its crap"
"I don't care if its crap. We're going to keep throwing good money after bad because its too difficult to change"
"The users really won't notice. Look, there's a start button and everything"
"I don't care. They know how to use windows and office"
"But you're talking about XP and office 2003. It's all changed. It will actually be an easier transition to gnu/Linux"
"Oh shut up. I don't want to listen. Can't you just lie to me and try to rip me off instead?"
I have a feeling most XP PCs will be in offices, not manufacturing. The most used applications on them will be ie6/7 and office XP/2003... and perhaps sage or something that has plugins for office.
Oh, now add SEP and a web proxy.
Yay! We are immune from harm! XP end of support? What? Will the PCs still work? Yes? Well what's the problem? La la la la la I'm not listening. Wench, go get me a coffee...
Please dear God make there be a problem. I want to see these smug ******s in middle management fired for their **** poor decision making. Sometimes you need a flood. A flood with piranha's. And an open sewer main.
Was pretty successful
...for a while
I hear 3 or 4 people still use it
I'd be surprised if Facebook weren't looking into that/similar.
Seems a bit far fetched to me. Won't the tech be prohibitively expensive for your typical "Facebook people"? Seems like it would have made a killing from hardcore gamers and hipster types but I'm lacking the imagination to see it having widespread commercial appeal in the social media scene.
Would have made more sense for the likes of Nintendo or Xbox/PS to pick it up.
Or a porn company...
In other news, Facebook acquire "fleshlight" and invest in various patents most commonly associated with pneumatic drills...
Analysts speculate "He's building a sexy robot suit!!!"
Windows 8 commits suicide. Party at 8. BYOB.
Really? I never once wondered what the D stood for...
Re: Support ends...
We only "upgraded" to 2007 just before Xmas. It was installed "vanilla" (no sp). Our I.T. team don't like updates. At all. I mean ANY updates for ANY software. Now whenever I have a meeting with our road warriors I make them fire up windows update before we get started
You'll be wanting adblock plus plugin/add on/extension for all these web browsers then...
Ccleaner to run on boot...
A silent defrag scheduled...
And, um, as much protection as you can muster!
I haven't tried these, but I'd be seriously contemplating sandboxie/deep freeze/similar.
I'd also be looking at the kind of access you want to give users, and making sure there's a sound update process in place
isp commercial censorship
No, you can't access wikipedia, we've blocked their IP addresses. If you want access to wikipedia you have to subscribe to ISP "x". Facebook? Ha! You'll want ISP "y".
Yes we can offer you a bolt on package with Wikipedia and Facebook access, but that will cost you an extra £30 a month. It's a bargain though - you get access to necrophilia.com and gilfmania.org as well.
But I don't want to visit those sites!
Meh. Give me your money or jog on.
OK so I've paid for the "platinum" package with complete access to everything. Why can't I log on to Hulu.com?
That's not available in your country.
Wtf? I thought this was meant to be the WORLD WIDE WEB?
No. We gave that up years ago in favour of
WHAT WE WANT.
3 proxies later...
GDSOAB Hulu.com needs US ISP "z"...
This is not THAT unlikely... and to an extent it is already happening with tv/film.
I would gladly pay £20 for Firefox/ccleaner/avast etc to be preinstalled on a new PC... IF IT ALSO CAME WITH ***** WINDOWS FULLY UPDATED... and tick boxes for each and every non vanilla windows crapware install during the initial setup/ordering process...
...and a magic tree with that new PC smell...
...and lots of bubblewrap....
I miss bubblewrap
1. Answering a survey...
2. On a discount coupon site...
3. In the US of A...
High praise indeed. They should put those skills on their next CV/résumé...
Why am I suddenly thinking about a trailer park and Judge Judy? No, wait, it's much worse, can you hear it?
Je-rry! Je-rry! Je-rry!
< EEK! >
Acronyms/Initialisms... Hmmm... I bet they are 100‰ au fait with whatever the US equivalents of JSA + ASBO are...
so... friends and relatives...
I've been putting this off for a while but it's decision time...
I'm actually tempted by android.
NO. JUST NO.
That is all
How long before the patent sharks start circling...
I hope this is globally successful.
what a difference a browser makes
Slightly off topic but I try to preach prevention instead of just protection. The first thing I do to "prevent" nasties is to get users to ditch IE and install adblock, be it on Firefox or chrome. There's a real connection between "ads" and malware. I forget the name but I also try to add a traffic light extension/add on to rate websites.
I know you can get plugins for IE but I simply don't trust it.
I have a dream...
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a world where their phones will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their SD cards."
Cross platform operabilty... Now if only there were some way of coding once and then letting the operating system (whatever it may be) interpret that code and run it on whatever architecture it happened to be running on...
Um... Hang on... Didn't someone already have this idea? WHO F*@#£D IT UP THEN??? And how do we fix this?
The RED screen of death!
How exactly is this bad news for ms?
Oh no, they are selling "the wrong" windows...
Surely "HP abandons windows for Ubuntu/android" would have been
A) more interesting
C) good news for everyone
Then Microsoft would have to pull their socks up and start trying to sell their os rather than "cheating" by having it preinstalled and zero choice when purchasing a PC (i mean your average Joe Bloggs buying from your average PC e/retailer) - this would mean they have to listen to their users' wants and needs - it's been waaaaaay too long since they did that (xp!)
"British" is a word created by the English so they can try to steal some of the glory of their neighbours in the context of sporting events. Us Scots are usually shite at sports but on the rare occasion someone does does do well...
Frederick John "Fred" Perry (18 May 1909 – 2 February 1995) was a championship-winning English tennis and table tennis player who won 10 Majors including eight Grand Slams and two Pro Slams.
On 7 July 2013, (Andy) Murray won the 2013 Wimbledon Championships, becoming the first British man to do so since Fred Perry, 77 years previously.
I rest my case.
Re: missed a trick...
Wait... It DOES have a start button at the bottom left...
missed a trick...
All google need now is a "start" button at the bottom left corner... Ha
Re: As is the case everywhere
Agreed. I recently discovered that you can pretty much do ANYTHING if you have authorisation from someone senior enough. Not "senior in I.T." just "senior". I now have full access to YouTube so I can watch as many cat movies as I like without having to waste 15 seconds evading websense any more...
These senior management / director types are like corrupt government officials in foreign countries, accepting bribes for iPhone signoffs.
They have no place dictating I.T. policy, be it security, hardware or software
Re: Piracy or not
How about limewiarrrrmearties
Beep! 404! Delivery address not found...
Beep! Whirr...excuse me, meatbag, I am looking for Connor, Sarah Connor...
...or a dictionary
Re: Flash on Android
Skyfire web browser, on Google play.
For when you absolutely HAVE to use a website with flash on android.
I tend to install, use website, then uninstall.
...the cure for aids
bye bye phonecalls...
looks like I'll be bricking my nexus 4 at the weekend...
Re: He does have a point
...not according to the stallman
You are describing both patents and copyright through rose tinted Google glasses and not necessarily the realities we see today.
Patents are now used as weapons to prevent progress and competition by companies that already have too much money, stamping on the little guy. They are shared and traded amongst the already powerful.
Copyright now = DRM = a means of locking you in to specific hardware, making you dependent upon particular patents. It also means exploitation of the creators of said content by publishers as it can prevent them from firing said publishers as THEY own the copyright, not the creator - yes we will publish your work but only if you sign it over to us mwahahahah - now, here's your 0.0001 penny after we made £10 per album/movie. Want more cash? Pimp yourself out at a music festival or awards show, or expose some skin to the press.
i've got one...
'Health and safety' got me it after I complained when they swapped out the insanely power inefficient lighting in the office for even worse 'mini suns' without glare filters. They said here, use this new keyboard it has matt keys and won't glare so much. Yeah, like its not already reflecting off my gloss desk..
It was awful for the full 5 mins I tried to use it. It went straight in the bin immediately after I 'switched off' (broke) the light above my desk. Now it can't hurt anyone else and the company will save a fortune on the electric bill...
Re: Keeping buzzing, you happy worker bees!
I make a point of hitting reply all
...and copying my **** boss in at the same time...
Re: Reply-all should require more input
Hear hear, I'd also add that distribution lists should only be allowed as bcc, at the same time 'reply all' only working for to and cc (:. ignoring bcc), both having a maximum number of recipients ; your 20 sounds about right. Job done.
i am disturbed
...that I had to go to the 5th o in gooooooooooogle before I was presented with a 'sexy' interpretation of 'anal beaver juice'
Maybe I am a dirty b####### after all!
that explains why my work xp boot time
Feels like longer than my speccy took to load treasure island dizzy...
No, wait, it DOES take longer!
there is a "demographic" susceptible to surveys...
A) too stupid to avoid "person with clipboard"
B) think their opinion matters (inflated ego = questionable grip on reality)
C) too polite to refuse to complete a survey (therefore also more likely to leave false positive feedback)
D) love the product so much they take it to bed at night and have the brand name tattooed on their forehead
E) hate the product so much they buy it over and over again just so they can complain about how much they hate it
F) I could go on but I can't be bothered
Nutshell: I don't trust survey results.
3 words; portable wireless storage
Also portable wireless SD card/usb reader come battery chargers are approx 25 quid.
Not perfect but adequate.
There are actually some benefits over traditional "put SD card in phone" setup such as "micro SD card catapulted 50 feet into strangers coffee". The less fiddling with micro SD cards the better IMHO.
we can fix this...
Xmas is coming
Tell everyone you know to buy their non-iPhone using family/friends with a handset more than 3 years old a nexus 4 and donate their old model to charity
Anyone left over could be converted to ffos.
Most mobiles have a Max of 4 years use before they start falling to bits/ looking embarrassingly scratchy anyway. Google should be targeting these people with a nexus 4 this Xmas. TV ads showing crappy old mobiles refusing to dial 999/911 while their small children burn to death before their eyes in an Xmas tree light related inferno... Would make a good enders or corrie Xmas special... Noooo... Damn you extended carphone warehouse contraaaact...
in other news, microsoft windows skips 3302 generations...
I for one am looking forward to windows 3310
If you look on the evil proprietary PooTube you will find several lectures regarding his views on both patent and copyright law.
- Updated Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace
- Elon Musk's LEAKY THRUSTER gas stalls Space Station supply run
- Android engineer: We DIDN'T copy Apple OR follow Samsung's orders
- Pics Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray
- Microsoft: Windows version you probably haven't upgraded to yet is ALREADY OBSOLETE