266 posts • joined 2 Oct 2012
Why do people rent air again?
Me, I'd buy an air machine, figure out how it works and maybe hire some staff to do the same and maintain it. Those staff could do a few other things as well now and again...
Nah, listen to the execs, just spend money. Nobody ever got fired for buying something. Well, unless you count prostitutes.
Re: Toilet breaks?
The last time I, er, shed some weight at work, the bloke in the stall next to me's phone rang - and he answered it.
Queue a raft of deafening farts, coughs, grunts, newspaper ruffling, spits and flushing from the various stalls so it was more than obvious where he was taking the call.
What's that expression? Hive mind?
It's not always the UATers being lazy/busy.
I've been on the wrong end of too many UAT's that appear to have completely skipped all the previous testing that's supposed to happen. I.e. I spot an issue in 10 seconds then have to waste an hour documenting it and speaking to the devs on the phone. All this without any UAT process/documentation to hand. Oh, you don't need to do any of that, just send us an email saying it's OK. Er, NO, this is EXACTLY why the last 5 releases went to shit. You need your begrudging testers to follow a step by step test process with multiple scenarios because, as mr dabbs says, they don't give a toss; not spend 5 mins tinkering then go sod it, I'm off home "it's fine". It isn't.
I'd guesstimate that a good 70% of UAT is done by people who will never actually use what they are testing, don't bother doing any testing and just sign it off. Of the 30% that do, because they are given no guidance they do a crap job and miss problems.
I'm fully aware the downvotes are about to flood in, but, in amongst the tripe and gibberish, doesn't she actually have a point re voting?
Postal voting? Please. Actually turning up, queueing amid the great unwashed, then, snort, using a pen? How quaint.
If I actually believed any of these pompous arseholes and wanted to vote for them, my lazy gene would immediately kick in and insist I sit on the sofa with my feet up and watch the election coverage on TV instead.
If voting is made simple and convenient more people will do it, and it can happen more frequently. If anyone cares.
Re: Urgh - I was really hoping they would pull an "Apple"
I'm using both a 4 and a 5. 1 charges while I'm out using tother, then I swap back and forth.
The 4 is still solid. I didn't "need" to get the 5, but I "wanted" it. I find myself pining for a 6 now.
Oy, Ubuntu, where's my phone, bitch?!?! Take. My. Money.
Re: continuing the trend
PowerPoint did no such thing. I see my fair share of presentations and can guarantee that neither thinking nor facts have anything to do with the godawful mess that finds itself on screen most of the time. If you added up all the hours wasted by middle management types pulling together hideous presentations you could probably rebuild the Eiffel tower, to scale, out of lollipops sticks. After eating said lollipops. Mmmmm lollipops...
Stop feeding the ac trolls!
Now... if you're (still) struggling with the ribbon interface there are free (as in beer) options at your disposal. You could rock your own vba addon, or, to mess with the actual ribbon xml check out this dude's site; he's a legend
...but I agree, we shouldn't have to resort to this sort of thing at all. So far as I can tell the ribbon is more "finger friendly" and therefore MS don't need to accommodate 2 menu systems, hence a mixture of iPad envy and laziness resulted in the ABOMINATION that is the ribbon.
I'm sorry Dave, you're too fat. I replaced your order of bacon with qu-acon.
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo! / do not want
Wikipedia; on IRN BRU
In response to the Coca Cola 'Share a Coke' campaign, Barr decided to produce thousands of limited edition 750ml bottles of Irn-Bru with the names 'Fanny', 'Senga', 'Rab' and 'Tam' on the label, mimicking that by Coca Cola. The use of the name 'Fanny' ties in with one of Irn-Bru's controversial marketing advertisements.
I did not know this! Genius. Makes me homesick.
I like STEMscript, sounds catchy.
or titscrap-script for short; although they might attract the wrong kind of user...
target demographic... eh?
If they are really targeting business this time around, shouldn't they be doing this kind of "how people actually use it" investigation using actual, hmmm, business people? I'm not sure your average sales rep spends much time flipping between github and eclipse, occasionally shifting that funny looking mouse thing out of the way so they can top up their caffeine levels before getting back to keyboard ninjary.
Then again, maybe they're still feeling the burn after watching Mr iPad too intently last time around...
Re: This is the pot calling the kettle black.
Torvalds is constantly criticised for his choice of language. I'd say it's very good; you can't exactly misinterpret his meaning!
I'm sick of people speaking utter bollocks just because it sounds "professional".
Communicating complex ideas in a manner in which your average Joe can understand is a difficult task so the plainer the language the better. When did I.T. get invaded by PC politicians and project managers?
Also, we need to celebrate characters like torvalds or stallman because they remind the world what true genius looks like; hint, it's not "Mr Suit" with his impeccable style and personal hygiene, it's more like "Sweary Bob" with his odd socks and those mysterious purple stains on that hideous wrinkly tie... what is that? It's gotta be beetroot, right???
I can see the new MS ads now...
Buy an unencrypted government friendly windows mobile; people won't think you're a child molesting terrorist...
"Beat" me to it...
I like how vista and 8.x are nicely clustered together. Maybe a nice shade of brown for each would make the chart even prettier...
Does this mean that w8 users are going -1 instead of +0.1? Or -w
...the power of love
MS have somehow invented a time machine. It's 1993 and the world is a happy place. A google is a naughty word and apple are spiraling towards obscurity.
Or that's what it feels like reading the word "universal" used with such smug arrogance.
2 words; WAKE UP
Snrrrrt! Hakkkkk! Cough! Yaaaawn.
Oh shit. It's 2014.
Re: Tiles should replace icons fully - everywhere.
So... Choice = good. New start menu gives me the choice to use either the familiar or the new, and to remove the new if I don't like it. Logical.
Happy bunnies all round. Now... don't stop there MS, you're on a roll! The next update to MS Office 2007+ should let us choose to use the ribbon or return to using menus... and why not allow live tile fans to add some of them to the ribbon too? And have the ribbon as a sidebar if we want? And nuke it if we want.
Re: Where's the killer app?
They've well and truly missed the boat re XP emigration.
Stop Fing about with the GUI and focus on delivering security, stability and compatibility/emulation. If windows could run anything/everything easily business would fall back in love with it. The hardware has got to the point where this is absolutely possible. The thing about "clouds" is that they drop this wet stuff on you and sometimes kill you with electricity. A return to client side applications may well happen. And they may well be iOS or android apps. How good would it be if windows could just run these "natively"? And we don't need them to be full screen... there's this concept that's been around for a while now where you run stuff in little "windows"...
I wonder how long before me arties finds me treasures. Arrrr.
Should be easier to find the off button as well now...
It's never ending
Re: Still a big nono..
Nice. No full screen crapps, a start button, a familiar interface, say it ain't so... there must be a catch...
...it can't run crysis
Re: "... we’re not building an incremental product"
Re: @Bob Vistakin
Thin, mostly metal objects are bendy.
Thin, mostly plastic objects are snappy.
I suspect if we thawed out "Ugg" from his ten thousand year slumber he would understand this concept.
This is only a design flaw if the bending or snapping takes place through general expected day to day use; e.g. in your pocket. This still beats it exploding and blowing your cock off though, so progress!
And before the anti apple brigade get all upset, I've never before purchased an apple device for myself (iPads for presents) and don't intend to start now.
It's pretty safe to say that 100% of tablets and phablets will bend or snap, given a little pressure. And perhaps 70% of smart phones, depending on the size and shape.
They'll be saying the screens smash when you drop them from a 23rd story window next. .
E X T R E M E skittles/ten pin bowling
These should be redesigned so that they dodge the ball when you're bowling, and mock you.
Re: Biter Bit
Agreed. I don't know what the exact crime stats are, but the police/government would have you believe that there are more criminals out there than honest, law abiding citizens. This is utter bollocks. You don't burn your house down to protect your family from a pyromaniac, you get a decent fire alarm and make sure you pay your taxes so you have a decent friendly neighbourhood fireman to come and save you, and a decent policewoman to find the criminal and bring them to justice. THEN you find them after their 2 week holiday, sorry, life sentence, beat them, pour petrol all over them and burn them alive in a sacrifice to the great firehawk...
ignorant Brit here;
...but I thought he was renaming them the Clippy's
"It looks like you're trying to play netball..."
Nobody in business will ever see it. Move along please,nothing to see here.
Business will likely be ready for an upgrade from w7 in 2020 (I'm expecting a new windows "vision" or some other such play on pilots/clarity/whatever) so will skip 8+9 entirely. Unless 10 is really shit, in which case 9 would be the new 7.
Let's pray that by then the os doesn't matter any more and we're all using our knew "nappy interface" where taking a dump has a new (but somehow old) meaning...
You absolute ***** lol - now I'm going to have Stephen Fry's camp German accent in my head whenever I think or see windows 9.
Maybe I can force it into Rammstein instead.
it's a ****** website...
They could make the top 10 pages of results all be links to pictures of toilets if they felt like it.
If a business transaction is taking place where gooogle are being paid for promoting results then so what? It would surely only be a legal issue if they pocketed the cash and didn't promote those results, eh? Usually the law is grounded in common sense, it's only NEW laws written by capitalist pigs that don't make sense.
Brussels, go home.
What if I made a map; a paper one, and put pictures on it of what I deemed to be key landmarks. You know, bars, supermarkets, rubbish dumps etc. Then i gave it away to people, for free. I didnt walk up to them and shove it in their face, i just left a stack of them on a table with a sign saying "free maps". Would I get the EU whinging at me for not putting pictures of charity shops on there? I don't see how a search engine is any different. Look, here are some things we found for you. You are under no obligation to use them or indeed our website. Also, look, here's an advert for a toilet... and a free map...
Right, I'm off for a pee...
Are you sure its not a rhombus?
Re: continued prosperity?
Hmmm. This was meant to be a witty response to the first post.
What country do you live in????
Re: bing ka-shing!
Interestingly this doesn't work in chrome browser on KitKat.
Nice work ms.
Hmmm... a bit like advertising in Gaelic...
Google trends is an alternative approach, and appears to favour a yes vote.
the power of delete + death by red tape
No. Sorry. We deleted that.
(They can still model and profile users based on the data they do have before deleting it.)
User x is a B61.4a.
Oh, thanks. Can I see their emails?
Ok, but not their deleted ones. Right, your request has been logged and will be published publicly in 6 months time and the person concerned will be informed directly. If you need a 3 month extension we will require a court order within 5 months.
Er, but this is a case of national security.
Here, fill in form 27c in triplicate and mail it to the idgaf department. They will liaise with our legal team and get back to you in 7 months time.
Here's your data. We have complied with your request. Is there anything else we can help you with today?
What's a B61.4a
That's an internal user rating.
But what does it mean?
I don't know. It's a computer generated code. Here's form 42d...
Re: Just as my phone got 8.1
Eh? I'll admit that 8.1 is pretty good, but so is KitKat. When comparing like for like there isn't a great deal of difference if you ignore the fanboyism. Personally I favour android but that doesn't mean I wouldn't get something else next time I change my phone.
What is this Bluetooth integration you speak of? The only Bluetooth I use is when connecting to the parrot in my car, and I've had no issues with that.
I'm surprised more OEM's haven't told ms where to stick their mobile os after what they've done with surface and Nokia. What ms should fear now is not the shift from desktops and laptops to tablets and phones but rather the android invasion from tablets and phones to laptops and desktops! Their current strategy does exactly nothing to address this and the total lack of "sameness" from XP to 8.x and the ribbonisation means users are left wondering "wtf how do I use this" which plays right into the hands of the competition. They just haven't capitalised on this. The #1 reason for sticking with windows is continuity and ms have "pissed all over" that.
They're gonna need more blue blocks...
Re: OEM Pricing?
Are you talking about windows 3.1?
...my laptop and/or tablet "shell" with a slot for docking my (full desktop OS) smartphone, simultaneously charging it and letting me get work done. It's being experimented with - 1 example, sans "phone":
I like this concept a lot - if only it had a touch screen and mobi hardware incorporated into the design. SOON.
You do not need a TV licence to listen to the radio just like you don't need one to go for a dump.
And I wasn't comparing content, but...
UK produced original content like "strictly come wanking"? Actually, that I'd watch. On channel 5.
Re: Not bad value really
£145/12= £12 per month
That's extortionate when compared with "non live TV" alternatives Amazon prime and Netflix costing HALF THAT.
Sky is not a fair comparator as a premium is charged for sport and movies, and exclusive content from the likes of hbo that would never be broadcast by the BBC.
I used to watch BBC breakfast before work and of course the news, and the f1 before they sold most of it to sky, but now I don't watch any BBC content. I should cancel. The BBC should be VERY AFRAID - I hadn't realised it was possible to stop paying, and I won't be alone... crap I don't watch vs BOTH Netflix and Amazon prime for the same money? No brainer.
More like "coughing"
Re: Goto considered harmful...
TEACHERS TEACHERS TEACHERS.
You're absolutely right. Most teachers can't tell their XP from their w7 from their ms office, and rightly so. Teachers need to have a solid understanding first, and I'd say this is a completely different kettle of fish from, say, teaching kids about WW2.
Planning? Ugh. Boring. Way to suck all the fun out of coding/programming. The best way to learn is to fail, to fail BIG, not to temporarily absorb data into your brain for the purposes of passing tests/exams, then promptly forgetting all but the least useful bits.
However, I think what you say there also makes a lot of sense and should be a part of the curriculum somewhere... I just think it should be taught separately from the coding/programming to ensure maximum fun/engagement.
Existing geeks don't make good cyber warriors; we are too old and opinionated - and we remember a world before CCTV and intrusive surveillance. We are too much like Winston.
Enter the new hip young naive pliable cyber kids who don't "get" our point of view, and probably never will.
I imagine that's the government thinking anyway.
Re: Microsoft? Talk to users? ROFLMAO.
(3) Continue to roll out 'THE' number one office/productivity suite in the world, which remains so to this day, encouraging end users (businesses and Jo Public) and software companies/developers alike to buy into the OS dependency.
I agree with a lot of what you said, however you have to give credit where it's due. Personally I'd like (3) not to exist, it's the #1 reason for going with windows over, say, apple or gnu/Linux/Unix, and I think it's an appalling heap of shite, but I'm not your average buyer, I'm just a user/victim.
Things are changing, just a little slowly. MS have some very strong hooks in corporate IT. All that training/certification; why would you chuck it in the bin and start afresh with something new? Even if it is arguably "better"? MS will continue to dominate; I just wish they'd, well, regain my respect and learn from past mistakes.
Skewey skewey skewey skewey data.
'The' reason to update anything is and has always been safety. Speed/features are (sometimes) nice too, but it's the security aspect that makes updating (a) necessary (evil).
Re: Sharon - FTFY
- Crawling from the Wreckage Want a more fuel efficient car? Then redesign it – here's how
- Review Xperia Z3: Crikey, Sony – ANOTHER flagship phondleslab?
- Human spaceships dodge ALIEN BODY skimming Mars
- Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know
- Downrange Are you a gun owner? Let us in OR ELSE, say Blighty's top cops