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* Posts by king of foo

61 posts • joined 2 Oct 2012

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Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace

king of foo

great...

Invisible speed cameras...

That offer you great deals on "need for speed on Xbox 1"

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This time it's 'Personal': new Office 365 sub covers just two devices

king of foo

hmmm

Isn't Netflix also £5.99 a month...

What's all this "home licencing" BS. Have MS totally lost touch with the proportion of their market that they borked w8 to attempt to woo? I can see a "family" being willing to pay £1 a month for EVERYONE in that (direct) family to use office on any number of devices. Pretty much every parent could afford and would respect that price point. MS would be a generous giant and friend of the family/student.

A billion £1 coins is better than a million £10 notes.

For the amount if use a home user would get out of office they simply can't pitch the price that high. In many case they'd be charging something like £10 an hour for access. Madness.

Pull your socks up Google and get the next android release to support desktops/laptops (not nec. Touch screen) out of the can. More home users will be attracted to that than chrome os. And make it install easily from within windows (XP+). Boom.

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Samsung slurps up full charge in 30 seconds with bio-battery

king of foo

dual purpose

Battery charger come coffee flask

Where do I sign?

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Video games make you NASTY AND VIOLENT

king of foo

in other news

Cyber terrorists resurrect CLIPPY

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Windows XP still has 27 per cent market share on its deathbed

king of foo

where are the stats

For ms update?

I'd like to know how many of those XP machines are currently "virgin".

I know for a fact that certain well known and well used outsourced support engineers like to use 5 year old XP images with java 6 and an ancient flash player. Ugh. Oh, but they remove minesweeper and solitaire...

Add to that the genius group policies actually completely disabling windows update for fear of unwanted reboots.

Throw in a sprinkling of perhaps 90% of the users running laptops with kids at home managing to install utorrent on mummy or daddy's laptop, or simply the users rocking insecure WiFi when they are out and about and swapping USB drives with customers and suppliers...

Stir briskly and add a splash of " antivirus only updates when I'm on the work LAN, but I never bother connecting because its too slow. I do all my work at home or in the field"

I'm going to get some popcorn.

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Microsoft spells out new rules for exiling .EXEs

king of foo

ha

Just for Monday morning s***s and giggles pretend you are reading an advert for windows 8 and windows store.

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Five-year-old discovers Xbox password bug, hacks dad's Live account

king of foo

in other news

Dog farts during extended family gathering

Naughty doggy...

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El Reg's Deep Outback XP upgrade almost foiled by KILLER ARACHNIDS

king of foo

awesome beard dude

That is all

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How Microsoft can keep Win XP alive – and WHY: A real-world example

king of foo

Re: no

Ooh! 2 thumbs downs! At least I did something right today if I p'd off a couple of middle managers that also happen to be commentards.

Sharks would indeed add value. And perhaps some bubble bath.

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king of foo

Re: WHY because Why waste that old Hardware, its bad for Planet Earth.

"Um, but the helldesk only know how to use/fix windows...

And we spent £££££££s recruiting and training microsofties."

"I know, but its crap"

"I don't care if its crap. We're going to keep throwing good money after bad because its too difficult to change"

"The users really won't notice. Look, there's a start button and everything"

"I don't care. They know how to use windows and office"

"But you're talking about XP and office 2003. It's all changed. It will actually be an easier transition to gnu/Linux"

"Oh shut up. I don't want to listen. Can't you just lie to me and try to rip me off instead?"

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king of foo

no

I have a feeling most XP PCs will be in offices, not manufacturing. The most used applications on them will be ie6/7 and office XP/2003... and perhaps sage or something that has plugins for office.

Oh, now add SEP and a web proxy.

Yay! We are immune from harm! XP end of support? What? Will the PCs still work? Yes? Well what's the problem? La la la la la I'm not listening. Wench, go get me a coffee...

Please dear God make there be a problem. I want to see these smug ******s in middle management fired for their **** poor decision making. Sometimes you need a flood. A flood with piranha's. And an open sewer main.

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Facebook swallows Oculus VR goggle-geeks. Did that really happen?

king of foo

second life?

Was pretty successful

...for a while

...then died

I hear 3 or 4 people still use it

I'd be surprised if Facebook weren't looking into that/similar.

Seems a bit far fetched to me. Won't the tech be prohibitively expensive for your typical "Facebook people"? Seems like it would have made a killing from hardcore gamers and hipster types but I'm lacking the imagination to see it having widespread commercial appeal in the social media scene.

Would have made more sense for the likes of Nintendo or Xbox/PS to pick it up.

Or a porn company...

In other news, Facebook acquire "fleshlight" and invest in various patents most commonly associated with pneumatic drills...

Analysts speculate "He's building a sexy robot suit!!!"

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Windows 8 BREAKS ITSELF after system restores

king of foo

breaking news

Windows 8 commits suicide. Party at 8. BYOB.

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As WinXP death looms, Microsoft releases its operating system SOURCE CODE for free

king of foo

dirty

Really? I never once wondered what the D stood for...

Kinky...

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It's 2014 and you can pwn a PC by opening a .RTF in Word, Outlook

king of foo

Re: Support ends...

Ha

We only "upgraded" to 2007 just before Xmas. It was installed "vanilla" (no sp). Our I.T. team don't like updates. At all. I mean ANY updates for ANY software. Now whenever I have a meeting with our road warriors I make them fire up windows update before we get started

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The Reg's desert XP-ocalypse aversion plan revealed

king of foo

public access?

You'll be wanting adblock plus plugin/add on/extension for all these web browsers then...

Ccleaner to run on boot...

A silent defrag scheduled...

And, um, as much protection as you can muster!

I haven't tried these, but I'd be seriously contemplating sandboxie/deep freeze/similar.

I'd also be looking at the kind of access you want to give users, and making sure there's a sound update process in place

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Is the World Wide Web for luvvies and VCs – or for all of us?

king of foo

isp commercial censorship

No, you can't access wikipedia, we've blocked their IP addresses. If you want access to wikipedia you have to subscribe to ISP "x". Facebook? Ha! You'll want ISP "y".

Yes we can offer you a bolt on package with Wikipedia and Facebook access, but that will cost you an extra £30 a month. It's a bargain though - you get access to necrophilia.com and gilfmania.org as well.

But I don't want to visit those sites!

Meh. Give me your money or jog on.

OK so I've paid for the "platinum" package with complete access to everything. Why can't I log on to Hulu.com?

That's not available in your country.

Wtf? I thought this was meant to be the WORLD WIDE WEB?

No. We gave that up years ago in favour of

WHAT WE WANT.

3 proxies later...

GDSOAB Hulu.com needs US ISP "z"...

This is not THAT unlikely... and to an extent it is already happening with tv/film.

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Fee fie Firefox: Mozilla's lawyers probe Dell over browser install charge

king of foo

bubblewrap

I would gladly pay £20 for Firefox/ccleaner/avast etc to be preinstalled on a new PC... IF IT ALSO CAME WITH ***** WINDOWS FULLY UPDATED... and tick boxes for each and every non vanilla windows crapware install during the initial setup/ordering process...

...and a magic tree with that new PC smell...

...and lots of bubblewrap....

I miss bubblewrap

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HTML is a sexually transmitted disease, say many Americans

king of foo

SURPRISING

1. Answering a survey...

2. On a discount coupon site...

3. In the US of A...

High praise indeed. They should put those skills on their next CV/résumé...

Why am I suddenly thinking about a trailer park and Judge Judy? No, wait, it's much worse, can you hear it?

Je-rry! Je-rry! Je-rry!

< EEK! >

Acronyms/Initialisms... Hmmm... I bet they are 100‰ au fait with whatever the US equivalents of JSA + ASBO are...

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Microsoft to get in XP users' faces with one last warning

king of foo

so... friends and relatives...

I've been putting this off for a while but it's decision time...

Win 7.

Win 8.1

Chromium/chrome os.

Mint.

Slackware.

Ubuntu.

Fedora.

Android.

I'm actually tempted by android.

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Thanks a lot, Facebook: Microsoft turns Office 365 into social network

king of foo

NO. JUST NO.

That is all

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Mozilla takes wraps off 25 DOLLAR Firefox OS smartphone

king of foo

#jawsanthem

How long before the patent sharks start circling...

I hope this is globally successful.

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Comprehensive security in the home

king of foo

what a difference a browser makes

Slightly off topic but I try to preach prevention instead of just protection. The first thing I do to "prevent" nasties is to get users to ditch IE and install adblock, be it on Firefox or chrome. There's a real connection between "ads" and malware. I forget the name but I also try to add a traffic light extension/add on to rate websites.

I know you can get plugins for IE but I simply don't trust it.

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Woz he talking about? Apple co-founder wants iPhones to run Android

king of foo

I have a dream...

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a world where their phones will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their SD cards."

Cross platform operabilty... Now if only there were some way of coding once and then letting the operating system (whatever it may be) interpret that code and run it on whatever architecture it happened to be running on...

Um... Hang on... Didn't someone already have this idea? WHO F*@#£D IT UP THEN??? And how do we fix this?

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Bill Gates to pull a Steve Jobs and SAVE MICROSOFT – report

king of foo

innovation

The RED screen of death!

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HP sticks thumb in Microsoft's eye, extends Windows 7 option for new machines

king of foo

um...

How exactly is this bad news for ms?

Oh no, they are selling "the wrong" windows...

Surely "HP abandons windows for Ubuntu/android" would have been

A) more interesting

B) funny

C) good news for everyone

Then Microsoft would have to pull their socks up and start trying to sell their os rather than "cheating" by having it preinstalled and zero choice when purchasing a PC (i mean your average Joe Bloggs buying from your average PC e/retailer) - this would mean they have to listen to their users' wants and needs - it's been waaaaaay too long since they did that (xp!)

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Latest Chrome adds Chrome OS flavor to Windows 8 'Metro' mode

king of foo

"British" is a word created by the English so they can try to steal some of the glory of their neighbours in the context of sporting events. Us Scots are usually shite at sports but on the rare occasion someone does does do well...

Wikipedia:

Frederick John "Fred" Perry (18 May 1909 – 2 February 1995) was a championship-winning English tennis and table tennis player who won 10 Majors including eight Grand Slams and two Pro Slams.

On 7 July 2013, (Andy) Murray won the 2013 Wimbledon Championships, becoming the first British man to do so since Fred Perry, 77 years previously.

I rest my case.

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king of foo

Re: missed a trick...

Wait... It DOES have a start button at the bottom left...

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king of foo

missed a trick...

All google need now is a "start" button at the bottom left corner... Ha

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Is your IT department too tough on users?

king of foo

Re: As is the case everywhere

Agreed. I recently discovered that you can pretty much do ANYTHING if you have authorisation from someone senior enough. Not "senior in I.T." just "senior". I now have full access to YouTube so I can watch as many cat movies as I like without having to waste 15 seconds evading websense any more...

These senior management / director types are like corrupt government officials in foreign countries, accepting bribes for iPhone signoffs.

They have no place dictating I.T. policy, be it security, hardware or software

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Block The Pirate Bay? Arrr, me hearties, new P2P client could sink that plan

king of foo

Re: Piracy or not

How about limewiarrrrmearties

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Amazon floats 'Prime Air' drone delivery plan

king of foo

Beep! 404! Delivery address not found...

Beep! Whirr...excuse me, meatbag, I am looking for Connor, Sarah Connor...

EEK!

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Brit ISPs ordered to add more movie-streaming websites to block list

king of foo

...or a dictionary

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Internet Explorer 11 for Win7 bods: Soz, no HTML5 fun for you

king of foo

Re: Flash on Android

Skyfire web browser, on Google play.

For when you absolutely HAVE to use a website with flash on android.

I tend to install, use website, then uninstall.

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'It's a joke!' ... Bill Gates slams Mark Zuckerberg's web-for-the-poor dream

king of foo

tinterweb pron

...the cure for aids

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Not so Saucy after all: Ubuntu reveals Mirless Salamander... and what, no Britney?

king of foo

bye bye phonecalls...

looks like I'll be bricking my nexus 4 at the weekend...

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OAR-some! 18ft SEA SERPENT discovered off US coast

king of foo

FLASH?

...sigh...

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Web daddy Tim Berners-Lee: DRMed HTML least of all evils

king of foo

Re: He does have a point

...not according to the stallman

You are describing both patents and copyright through rose tinted Google glasses and not necessarily the realities we see today.

Patents are now used as weapons to prevent progress and competition by companies that already have too much money, stamping on the little guy. They are shared and traded amongst the already powerful.

Copyright now = DRM = a means of locking you in to specific hardware, making you dependent upon particular patents. It also means exploitation of the creators of said content by publishers as it can prevent them from firing said publishers as THEY own the copyright, not the creator - yes we will publish your work but only if you sign it over to us mwahahahah - now, here's your 0.0001 penny after we made £10 per album/movie. Want more cash? Pimp yourself out at a music festival or awards show, or expose some skin to the press.

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Microsoft: Surface is DEAD. Long live the Surface 2!

king of foo

i've got one...

'Health and safety' got me it after I complained when they swapped out the insanely power inefficient lighting in the office for even worse 'mini suns' without glare filters. They said here, use this new keyboard it has matt keys and won't glare so much. Yeah, like its not already reflecting off my gloss desk..

It was awful for the full 5 mins I tried to use it. It went straight in the bin immediately after I 'switched off' (broke) the light above my desk. Now it can't hurt anyone else and the company will save a fortune on the electric bill...

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Cisco email accidentally sent to 1000s of employees causes message list MAYHEM

king of foo

Re: Keeping buzzing, you happy worker bees!

I make a point of hitting reply all

...and copying my **** boss in at the same time...

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king of foo

Re: Reply-all should require more input

Hear hear, I'd also add that distribution lists should only be allowed as bcc, at the same time 'reply all' only working for to and cc (:. ignoring bcc), both having a maximum number of recipients ; your 20 sounds about right. Job done.

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THE TRUTH about beaver arse milk in your cakes: There's nothing vanilla about vanilla

king of foo

i am disturbed

...that I had to go to the 5th o in gooooooooooogle before I was presented with a 'sexy' interpretation of 'anal beaver juice'

Maybe I am a dirty b####### after all!

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Life … moves … in … slow … motion … for … little … critters … like … flies

king of foo

that explains why my work xp boot time

Feels like longer than my speccy took to load treasure island dizzy...

No, wait, it DOES take longer!

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Dog bites man: Apple's Macs trounce all Windows PCs in customer love

king of foo

there is a "demographic" susceptible to surveys...

A) too stupid to avoid "person with clipboard"

B) think their opinion matters (inflated ego = questionable grip on reality)

C) too polite to refuse to complete a survey (therefore also more likely to leave false positive feedback)

D) love the product so much they take it to bed at night and have the brand name tattooed on their forehead

E) hate the product so much they buy it over and over again just so they can complain about how much they hate it

F) I could go on but I can't be bothered

Nutshell: I don't trust survey results.

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Google Nexus 7 2013: Fondledroids, THE 7-inch slab has arrived

king of foo

3 words; portable wireless storage

Also portable wireless SD card/usb reader come battery chargers are approx 25 quid.

Not perfect but adequate.

There are actually some benefits over traditional "put SD card in phone" setup such as "micro SD card catapulted 50 feet into strangers coffee". The less fiddling with micro SD cards the better IMHO.

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Want the latest Android version? Good luck with that

king of foo

we can fix this...

Xmas is coming

Tell everyone you know to buy their non-iPhone using family/friends with a handset more than 3 years old a nexus 4 and donate their old model to charity

Anyone left over could be converted to ffos.

Most mobiles have a Max of 4 years use before they start falling to bits/ looking embarrassingly scratchy anyway. Google should be targeting these people with a nexus 4 this Xmas. TV ads showing crappy old mobiles refusing to dial 999/911 while their small children burn to death before their eyes in an Xmas tree light related inferno... Would make a good enders or corrie Xmas special... Noooo... Damn you extended carphone warehouse contraaaact...

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Microsoft buys Nokia's mobile business

king of foo

in other news, microsoft windows skips 3302 generations...

I for one am looking forward to windows 3310

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Private UK torrent site closes, citing 'hostile climate'

king of foo

STALLMAN, anyone?

If you look on the evil proprietary PooTube you will find several lectures regarding his views on both patent and copyright law.

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Google cripples Chromecast third party replay

king of foo

er...

Casting your (chrome only?) Browser tab still works though, right? I don't have one yet but surely someone here is beastly enough with html/JavaScript to play local content in a webpage? Tinterwebs isn't all about ftp and ul/dl lots of us used to deploy on lans back in the day... That's what I'll be looking into once i get one, and dusting off the bit of my brain that read a book on HTML4 circa 2001...

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