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* Posts by Trygve

241 posts • joined 28 Jun 2007

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It's a Doddle: Amazon inks train station parcel deal with Network Rail

Trygve

Re: "If I could pick up my packages from the station when almost home that would be excellent."

On weekdays my postie rarely shows up before about 10AM, and delivers using some sort of gaussian algorithm. If I go to the office I leave at around 0730 or before, I then come back to either a damp rained-on parcel, or a parcel which is missing.

If it is missing I then get to try to figure out if it's been left on someone elses doorstep, left with my neigbours rather than on my doorstep, or left on my doorstep and subsequently stolen. Delightful.

Mind you, I'm not sure dealing with Railtrack would be any better, based on how craptastic their management of my local station is.

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Get ready for Europe's ROBO-BUTLERS: Billions of €€€s pledged to electro-slave dream

Trygve

No you can't....

Not unless you want to import millions of third-worlders to slave away for minimum wage - which is the Anglo-American 'solution' to the problem of rising wage expectations and an ever-rising dependency ratio

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Did a date calculation bug just cost hard-up Co-op Bank £110m?

Trygve

Re: What? Dates and times still a problem?

Phoenix, Arizona is always on Mountain Standard Time, i.e.UTC-7. This may overlap with some other adjacent timezones now and again, but Phoenix doesn't change its clocks at all.

The complications are solely due to everyone else gyrating back and forth between daylight saving, and the idiotic decision to move the US out of sync with the DST transition in the rest of the world

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Vodafone to spend £100m on 150 new Brit phone shops

Trygve

I used to think 02 was shit....

but then our company switched to Vodafone. Fuck!

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Barnes & Noble bungs Raspberry Pi-priced Nook on shelves

Trygve
WTF?

"the closest thing we have to a universal DRM system: Adobe’s copy-protection software."

I've seen Adobe Desktop Editions or whatever it's called discussed in many articles - this may be the only time anyone's ever referred to it positively.

In my experience it's a rancid bag of scrofulous spanners which is just as restrictive as anything amazon do, but minus the 'seamless and asy-to-use' aspects. It's possibly the biggest single negative to the whole Nook propostiion.

Fortunately Calibre does a great job of scrubbing away the Adobe grime, judging by how easily it lets me get Adobe books on my Sony or Kindle, or kindle books on my Sony.

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British bookworms deem Amazon 'evil'

Trygve

Re: It's not even locked in really

"Amazon content is locked in"

Unless you have calibre with the plug-in that strips all the DRM off Amazon conent (and any content locked with Adobe DRM) and converts it into any format you like - all automagically like.

I think Kobo's DRM works off Adobe, meaning it's a giant bucket of shit - I never got the two free ADE books I received with my Sony to work on my kindle until Calibre unlocked them.

If Kovid ever pulls the plug on calibre it truly will be a dark day...

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Raise a beer: Titans of tech fill out 'Worst CEOs' list

Trygve

Re: I like wearing suits, although the opportunity rarely presents itself.

"I find it saves a great deal of time. Time that I would otherwise have to spend establishing my credibility."

I also find it saves a great deal of time. Time that I would otherwise have to spend choosing what to wear.

Grab random suit. Grab random shirt. Pants+socks. Appropriately dressed for office in 1 minute without having to engage a single braincell. Plenty of pockets for wallets, traintickets, bberry, phone, etc.Surprisingly comfortable (if you get ones which fit you properly).

If you can't get away with wearing the same stuff to the office that you wear when rebuilding the barn, you can do worse than choose a suit.

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E-reader demand slumps, slapped down by slates

Trygve

Kindle+ziplock bag = perfect for beach or bath reading

10p worth of freezer/sandwich bag lets you drop a couple of thousand books in your bath repeatedly with absolutely zero water damage. No marks on pages from wet fingers, no crinkling due to humidity.

Compared to a paper book, it's a bathtime reading solution so superior it's laughable to compare them, on the same level as wondering whether you should write your shopping list with a biro or a sharpened dog-turd.

And yet assorted morons STILL keep trotting out out the bath-reading scenario as a reason to buy paper. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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LG claims UK Ultra HD TV first

Trygve

Re: Harrods

What, its reputation as a garish shit-hole pandering mainly to to Russians, Arabs and Chinese spending corrupt money on bling, with a sideline in supplying idiot tourists and saddo footballer/WAG wannabees with tacky souvenirs?

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Boffins: Jurassic avians were more like Angry birds than modern ones

Trygve

"On top of that, we don't really have any indication of "crudeness." "

Has it ever occurred to you what would happen to any set of organisms that started to reproduce 'crude' features in an environment where they are surrounded by organisms which have had their features honed by thousands of generations of evolution? How do you think your eight-legged ants v0.6.2a are going to manage when they bump into the neighboring colony colony of six-legged ants v14.39.18d?

The only 'crude' features that will show up for more than one or two generations are ones which help survive drastic challenges such as man. On which topic, if you think all evolutionary activity has stayed firmly in pre-history, you should contact the NHS and offer to help them with all the umpteen bacteria which have evolved resistance to everything modern chemistry can throw at them.

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London gets huge Defecator Enthroned statue for World Toilet Week

Trygve
FAIL

Meanwhile, on the other side of the river...

There is a tiny little memorial no-one knows about, to a man called Joseph Bazalgette who led the construction of London's sewer system, the very first modern one, saving countless lives by eliminating cholera and other diseases.while turning the Thames back into a river only brown from mud rather than human faeces.

But it would never do to promote the achievements of a white male engineer when there's FACEBOOK available.

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Amazon Kindle Fire HD 7in Android tablet review

Trygve

A 7" tablet that needs two hands to use...

Is, in my opinion, about as much use as a 10" tablet that needs two hands and a foot to use. It's so bloody inconvenient that you may as well not bother when there are better alternatives at the same price.

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Nvidia heralds Steam for Linux debut with 'double-speed' drivers

Trygve
Unhappy

@Bush_rat

to be fair to the fruit loop, last time I tried upgrading a PC which had been state-of-the-art four years previously, I was forced to replace the memory, cpu, motherboard, graphics card and power supply for compatibility reasons. The hard disk was so slow and old it got repurposed as a dump drive tertiary to the new SSD and new terabyte drive, and I got a new monitor to make the most of the better graphics capability. Then I got a new nicer case to put it all in since it was only another £40.

All in all I managed to re-use my power cord, network cable, DVD-RW, mouse and keyboard, plus get some more mileage out of a hard drive.

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In the loop: how Halo defined a new decade of first-person shooters

Trygve

"those huge open environments"

Presumably you mean the huge open environments in the Mac/PC version which Bungie originally demoed, rather than the manky constrained walled off environments that MS launched after they had spent a year crippling the game to fit on a manky little console with a clumsy controller?

The pre-xbox Halo was one of the most ambitious and groundbreaking games ever - if they had managed to pull it off it would have been something like Battlefield2 but five years earlier and with a lot more style.

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O2 roaming rates to rise by up to 140%

Trygve

Re: O2 suck

Don't worry, you're not missing anything. Over the last few months their data speed and coverage in central london have become ever more dreadful....

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Even US generals have realised BlackBerries are uncool

Trygve

well, YMM obviously vary...

But my particular corporate blackberry is unable to deliver voice call quality better than a childs toy walkie-talkie and dismally fails to display internet content in a half-reliable fashion. So it's crap at anything other than email, and even at email the rubbish keyboard makes it less productive than my old black&white one with the side wheel.

Other than the battery life I think any modern android with a physical keyboard would be huge improvement.

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Trygve

So - pick the analogy

Blackberry - the new Palm

or

Blackberry - the new Netware

neither offers much cause for optimism.....

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Kick your computer... before it kicks you

Trygve

twang my ruler...

hehehe. Good work.

I remember reading some interview with Charlie Sheen where he mentioned losing his temper with an iPad and hurling it across the room to end half-buried in the sheetrock like a ninja star. So perhaps gadget abuse is just the prerogative of people with slightly looser grasp on what constitutes normal behaviour.

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Ancient 16m-yr-old beastie caught riding on much bigger flying mount

Trygve

You are confusing symbiosis with commensalism

One party benefits - commensalism

one benefits at exense of other - parasitism

both benefit - mutualism

symbiosis generally is used to mean long-term extensive co-dependent mutualism although as always there are lots of obsessives arguing about usage/defintions

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Cash in the asset: Nokia may flog global headquarters in Espoo

Trygve

"Nokia House. Credit: Google Street View"

<golf clap> Well played </golf clap>

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Top admen beg Microsoft to switch off 'Do Not Track' in IE 10

Trygve

"define the consumer online experience"

That experience being very similar to walking through a third world streetmarket with hundreds of hawkers, pimps and pickpockets jostling you, shouting at you, pushing their wares in your face, and trying to physically drag you off to their back-street establishment.

Thanks oh so much, ANA.

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New study: 'Fraud behind two-thirds of pulled medical papers'

Trygve

well, duh, naturally the tail starts to wag the dog...

... once you base all your dog management on tail measurement.

Scientists fake published studies, because a while ago universities started to rate all their faculty according to number of publications, on the basis that good scientists had lots of publications. Once you basically got paid by the number of articles you got in the journals, no-one cared about whether it was a meaningful article any longer.

Similarly, a few years back someone commented that many successful companies had lots of patents First every company focused on churning out bullshit patents so they would look successful, then they looked at all the millions they had spent doing the paperwork and wondered how to recoup the cost, and now look where we are.

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Guardian's Robin Hood plan: Steal from everyone to give to us

Trygve
WTF?

Dumbest idea in the world....

Tax everyone in the country and direct the resulting torrent of cash into the pockets of the people who own the Daily Mail/Express/Sun/Mirror so they can buy even more influence. The amount directed towards actual journalism would be a fraction of a rounding error, since what actually determines readership is the amount of gossip, bigot-bait and celebrity skin.

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Peeved bumpkins demand legally binding broadband promise from UK.gov

Trygve
Trollface

Dunno what you're all moaning about

My house is beside a lake in the forest about nine miles outside a town of less than 4000 people, and I get 6-7mb. VOIP and VPN work just fine for a bit of telecommuting.

It's also not in the UK, mind you.

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Made for each other: liquid nitrogen and 1,500 ping-pong balls

Trygve

Re: Nice But It Cost

"considerable environment deterioration or resouce dissipation" - are you kidding? Celluloid ping-pong balls and a few hundred millilitres of liquid condensed out of the air? Wouldn't surprise me if the balls were salvage from the sports centre, and liquid N2 is pennies per litre if you buy in significant quantities. The total environmental impact is probably equivalent to a couple of Big Mac Meals.

I remember going to an evening event that revolved around a big flask of liquid nitrogent - think it was organised by the local science teachers or something. A hundred or so pimply of us tweenagers fascinated for several hours by a beardy loon doing all the usual cryogenic tricks including turning whisky into syrup. I think it cost us about 50p each for use the school minibus to get us there.

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Bonking payment by NFC doubled by Olympics splash

Trygve

whoop de frigging doo....

So a million contactless a month after a couple of years of heavy pushing? Out of 805 million 'normal' transactions a month, that's not exactly impressive.

I don't think I have ever seen someone buy anything with NFC.

A couple of months ago I saw someone trying to pay for her coffee in Pret with her barclaycard, and it didn't work for some reason. When trying to figure out why, it emerged that she had never used NFC before, none of the staff had ever seen anyone use it, none of us other customers had ever seen anyone use it. So she paid with chip&pin. This in a high-footfall location next to London Victoria station which has had a contactless terminal by every till for a couple of years at least.

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All you need to know about nano SIMs - before they are EXTERMINATED

Trygve

Well, it sorta nearly works for landlines...

You can pick and choose who handles the broadband and/or voice down your landline without needing to faff about with any hardware changes. You can even use Carrier Pre-Select to dump your voice calls to a secondary provider if they are cheaper.

Telecoms engineers are smart people, I'm sure they could sort out all the obstacles to delivering a sim-free, number-portable, customer-friendly telephony future. However that would require full and complete cooperation between all the carriers (currently all in fear of bankruptcy due to the voice->data switch) and all the phone manufacturers (currently al suing the arse off each other).

So I really don't see it happening anytime soon other than in the most limited way. Unless either the US or EU take it into their heads to force the necessary standards compliance through - which is sort of how the current situation of swappable sim cards and portable numbers came about in the first place, no?

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Post-pub nosh deathmatch prompts paprika potato pierogi

Trygve

Re: Jumped the Shark

The one you need to incorporate in your studies, obviously.

Although personally I think it belongs not in the 'Post-Pub nosh deathmatch' but rather in your upcoming series of 'Morning-After nosh' and 'Bloke food' deathmatches.

For inclusion in the latter, may I propose http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyttipanna ? The frozen version is an absolutely essential stand-by in the freezer for those many occasions when you Just Can't Be Arsed To Cook(TM)(R)

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Humanity facing GLOBAL BACON SHORTAGE

Trygve

at a guess...

because farmers will only be able to cram half as many piggies into the giant concrete and steel hangars, and will have to buy slightly less rancid and contaminated food to feed the pigs.

And if most pork is imported, that's a pretty good indicator that foreign pork is cheaper than domestic pork - otherwise it wouldn't be cost-effective to do it.

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Swedish cops contain fermented herring menace

Trygve
WTF?

What on earth?

This story honestly baffles me. Surstromming smells like a blocked drain, nothing like mains gas.

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Amazon: Pay more for Kindle Fire, smoke ads from slabs

Trygve
WTF?

Re: Wait a minute.

"For the price of a reasonably decent restaurant meal " = $15?

Where the fuck do you live, and how much does accommodation cost? I need to revise my retirement plans.

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Organic food offers basically no health benefit, boffins find

Trygve

Re: elReg biased?

Natural food possibly is cheaper. Giving the chooks room to run around outside rather than packing them into a windowless shed at a density of a dozen per square metre certainly isn't.

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3,000 Guild Wars 2 gamers banned for flogging stolen loot

Trygve
WTF?

Re: Opinions are like arseholes:

"at least two of them, generally pointing in opposite directions"

err, what? Life in your universe sounds very messy indeed.

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Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Pierogi versus patatas revolconas

Trygve

so when do you stop with the analysis...

and commence on the synthesis?

I presume that after drawing up a comprehensive list of the finest nosh, El Reg will identify the critical success factors and combine them all into a brand-new world-conquering neck-filler. Eggs Vulteros? Patatas Registrado?

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Hunt vows: 'UK will have fastest broadband in Europe by 2015'

Trygve

Re: HMMM

whereas for comparison, in a house on a pretty much deserted road 7km from a little town of 4K people in the logging district of central sweden I can get a reliable 8Mb down and 0.8mb up.

The local ISP doesn't even need you to have a current landline subscription, just that a telephone cable has been installed by someone, at some point.

Imagine the reaction you'd get in Britain if an ISP were to offer the option to add an extra £100 on the install fee and never have to deal with BT ever again....

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Bogus Android markets seized in FBI software crackdown

Trygve

I think you misunderstand...

The key word you need to focus on is "only". Mind you, I can imagine it wouldn't exactly break hearts at the googleplex if they had to write an announcement along the lines of "due to increasing pressure from the global law-enforcement community, from v5.2 onwards Android will no longer support third-party app stores"

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Microsoft halts new apps on Windows Phone Marketplace

Trygve

Which dessert?

If it's like sticky toffee pudding I might seriously consider getting a WinMobe...

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McDonalds staff 'rough up' prof with home-made techno-spectacles

Trygve

Re: More shocking...

Why can't they just shrug and ignore it? "It's nearly the end of my shift and this looks like it might take a while" is a standard part of police procedure the world over.

If you think no-one ever gets roughed up in London without the Met conducting a full and exhaustive investigation then you are deluded.

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RIM: What's all the 'bleeding' fuss about BlackBerry developers?

Trygve

In Summary: Blackberry are the new Palm

Used to be great once upon a time.

I'd happily swap my Curve for the old blue jobby with a physical scroll wheel and the b&w screen, loved that thing. It's not like it's ever used for anything else than sending plaintext email, so it's not like the new version even has any meaningful extra functionality.

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Eurozone crisis hits pay TV: Punters pick broadband over telly

Trygve

Re: Licence fee

Your experience exactly mirrors my own, right down to only watching BBC for Montalbano, Wallander and The Bridge - and I live in the UK, which does have a license fee. It's all very confusing.

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How to screw LIBOR and alienate people

Trygve

Re: They're watching you - but how?

Presumably by snitching you to the FSA, City of London Police or SOCA, who can get all that info from the phone companies at the drop of an email .

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Border Agency comes out with another e-Borders deadline

Trygve
Unhappy

Re: The reason IRIS was dumped...

And the reason hardly anybody used it was that registration was:

a) generally located somewhere in the bowels of the airport between the closet full of spare bogbrushes and the sniffer dog kennel

b) usually open from 1028 to 1115 unless there was an "R" in the month or a "T" in the day, in which case it was shut

I used to be a pretty frequent traveller ,and it still took me months before I hit the magic combination of having enough spare time, being in the airport during the normal day (rather than ridiculously early or late), the office being open, and there not being a lengthy queue. The fact they had more than a handful of people registered is a testament to how desperate travellers are to escape the snaky barrier maze.

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Trygve

Re: IRIS was brilliant

In my experience IRIS was actually a bit pants - rather slow, didn't recognize me if I wore specs instead of contact lenses, 50% out of order rate on the gates, and towards the end there were way too many people registered for the two gates per terminal.

However, it was actually better than queuing up to talk to a doughbag - quicker and less hassle.

What makes IRIS look good is that the e-----gates (as it seems they are now known) are just utter shite. I don't know if the tech solution is mediocre or just poorly configured, but the actual implementation at the airport is farcically incompetent. Replace the space of 4 normal manned desks with:

- 2 people herding victims to the e-----gates

- 2 people manually handling those rejected by the machines

- 3 expensive machines that seem no better than the old IRIS machines

All in order all to achieve the same throughput as two manned desks. At least the UK Border Farce is living up to its name....

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Cameron 'to change his mind' on the one thing he got right in Defence

Trygve

Re: He we go again ...

So the UK taking a punt on some cobbled-together heap of electrics being able to lob a bog-standard plane off a carrier is waaaay too risky.

But for the UK to take a punt on vertically launching a cobbled-together overweight assemblage of turbines, software, electrics and composites designed by powerpoint specialists to please lobbyists - that's Just Good Business Sense (TM) (R).

I can't say I'm convinced.

The UK is a clapped-out second-rate economy, spunking billions on getting the cutting edge of late-nineties tech into service around the 2020 mark seems rather silly. The only thing sillier is applying the same industrial policy that gave us the Austin Allegro to military weaponry.

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MPs: Border Agency's own staff don't trust airport-scanner tech

Trygve

IRIS wasn't THAT great...

For me at least, it failed 100% of the time when I was wearing glasses, which I often do when on late/early flights. There were typically only two gates in each terminal, with a serviceability rate of ~50%. You could only register between half-past never and twenty-five to elsewhen. And once it came out of 'pilot' phase the number of people using the system grew way past what the system could support. Having said that, it was a genuinely useful addition, because it gave you two queues to choose from and it generally worked (even while showing a PCAnywhere error popup on the screen).

The new e-gates seem to be just unmitigated bollox. They are so keen on cramming people through that the queues are usually slower than for the normal desks and they seem to be working on a manning system of 1 or 2 people to usher people in plus 2 dedicated desks to handle the 'rejects' - all to achieve a throughput similar to what you'd get from ~2 normal passport officers. Typical British 'improvement'.

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MasterCard joins Visa in pushing PINs into America

Trygve

PIN? Signing? I thought they had moved past that...

Last time work forced me to subjugate myself to the tender attentions of the TSA and cross the Atlantic, I was rather baffled to find that half the time my card just got swiped and handed back to me with the receipt. No PIN, no signature, no zip codes, nothing. Bam, transaction done, haveaveryniceinsincereday, nextcustomerplease.

Maybe it's just a manhattan thing, but at the time I did think that they would find it hard to sell NFC as much of a gain on 'swipe and you're done'.

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Airbrushed Rachel Weisz gets watchdog hot under the collar

Trygve

That's another incredibly annoying advert..

"Maybe she was born with it....."

All their ads feature women who have earned millions of dollars from looking extremely good on camera. Not only were they born with 'it', many of them subsequently had 'it' upgraded by top plastic surgeons.

The Maybelline has chuff-all to do with it, they'd still look good on camera if they were wearing Lidl or Wal-Mart own-brand face-gunk.

And yet some people see these adverts and thing that coughing up for that brand of face-gunk before their big night out in a Croydon night-club will make them look as good in real life as a Brazilian supermodel does on camera. Truly, the power of self-delusion is amazing.

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Apple launches three-pronged education assault

Trygve
FAIL

Backlit screens..

Yes, that's right. Almost everyone in the western world is now blind, as a result of watching TV and looking at computer monitors their lives. We all have to be led around by elderly people who grew up before TVs and monitors were invented. Thank god for seeing-eye pensioners, I say.

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GiffGaff blames O2 gaffe for mobile outage

Trygve
Trollface

Not only that...

But when I was in Sweden last week I discovered they only charge £1.50/MB for roaming data. So reasonable I couldn't be arsed picking up a swedish PAYG SIM. For comparison I had an Orange SIM with a few quid of credit on that I decided to use up - didn't take long since they charged £4/MB.

Icon since we actually saw a sign warning of trolls crossing the road when navigating round the gravel roads in the forest using my cheap-as-chips phone and google maps.

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European boffins on voyage of discovery to the Earth's core

Trygve
FAIL

Really?

First successful probe to land on Mars - Viking 1 in 1976. Several more since.

First successful probe to reach the base of earths crust - several years/decades in the future. Best progress so far, about 1/3 of the way.

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