* Posts by MahatmaCoat

105 posts • joined 28 Jun 2007

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Microsoft's Bing feeds you, tries to keep you captive

MahatmaCoat
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Best search engine?

clusty.com

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Jailed Phil Spector wigs out on Twitter

MahatmaCoat
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This is compulsive reading

I don't know if this is Spector or not but it's just wonderful. Whoever it is is either a madman or a genius or both. If it's the latter then it is Spector.

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Google Oz coders crossbreed email with IM

MahatmaCoat
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The fanbois...

...will be needing lots of extra Kleenex today.

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BNP pleads for cash after reported DDoS assault

MahatmaCoat
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As Nelson would have said...

Nelson Muntz, that is...Hah-Ha!

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Weary locals scratch Butt Hole Road

MahatmaCoat
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Happy

Sorry folks but all those names are trumped by...

...Gropecunt Lane:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gropecunt_lane

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Google suffers international outages, slowdowns

MahatmaCoat
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Black Helicopters

@ Walking Turtle

"Don't be evil" was never a corporate motto, it was always a warning to us. The fanbois still don't get it.

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Kanye West doesn't have a f***ing Twitter, OK?

MahatmaCoat
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Happy

@ Jonathan

"he has an ego the size of Paris"

France or Hilton?

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Greece grounds Google's Street View fleet

MahatmaCoat
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Happy

Oh my...

...the fanbois are out in force today. Is this what they do on the free day off that Google gives them?

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Darth Vader tops movie misquote poll

MahatmaCoat
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Dead Vulture

Stinkin' badges?

Steenkin' badges, surely.

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2060: Humvee-sized, bulletproof meat-eating spiders attack

MahatmaCoat
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Toke?

"top arachno-boffin Toke Høye"

I think someone's being toking a bit too much. Sheer reefer madness.

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ISPs eye role in Jacqui's mass surveillance system

MahatmaCoat
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Is this some rarely occuring leap month?

"Home Secretary Jacqui Smith ruled the idea out today, citing privacy concerns."

We seem to have two April Fools' Days this year

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Cameron: Give the UK's health records to Google

MahatmaCoat
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It seems an impossible task...

...for the UK to produce a senior politician with even a minor clue.

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The Pirate Bay loads cannon with official appeal

MahatmaCoat
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Pirate

Three words...

Mull of Kintyre.

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UK's visa fingerprint system fails

MahatmaCoat
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Boffin

@DavCrav

Jacqui and crew don't understand thumbs because they haven't evolved any yet.

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Street View caught taking the piss - again

MahatmaCoat
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I like the caption on the blue pipe

Highly appropriate indeed.

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Google debuts JavaScript playground

MahatmaCoat
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Pass the bucket

"From Google's new Chrome Experiments project:

We think JavaScript is awesome. We also think browsers are awesome. Indeed, when we talk about them, we say they are the cat's meow - which is an American expression meaning AWESOME."

I'm not sure whether reading this or drinking a pint of salted water would be a faster way to induce vomiting. And some people still think Google is cool?

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Right-wing Oz politico in nude snaps rumpus

MahatmaCoat
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Leaked by the Aus govt...

...to bolster their case for net censorship....and they'd have a point with these.

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Vatican vetos 'dot god' domain

MahatmaCoat
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Gates Horns

The solution is obvious...

.omg

Then every religious dupe will be happy because it's *their* god in the TLD.

The avatar has to be Bill, the horned one.

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Mobile money for the masses: Do the numbers add up?

MahatmaCoat
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@ Simon Rockman

Simon,

Having visited, lived and worked in more third world countries than I care to think about I know well the situations you describe. What I was saying is that countries with so-called safe banking systems also now starting to understand how easy it is to lose out too. Try this article in today's Grauniad for size:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/feb/23/police-civil-unrest-recession

"Britain's most senior police officer with responsibility for public order raised the spectre of a return of the riots of the 1980s, with people who have lost their jobs, homes or savings becoming "footsoldiers" in a wave of potentially violent mass protests."

I'm almost happy that I have no savings to lose to the criminals running the banking system.

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MahatmaCoat
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Banks?

"Without access to banks they are very vulnerable."

As vulnerable as people *with* access to banks?

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Dalai Lama's Twitter account is a fake

MahatmaCoat
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* Michael Cox

Live again? Reincarnated, surely.

I'll get me orange robe.

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Big labels or Google - who is the songwriters' worst enemy?

MahatmaCoat
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Pirate

@JonB and Mike Moyle

@ JonB

I was referring to *professional* songwriters of the Tin Pan Alley type and I didn't say the zillions of kids producing music at home were creating "wonderful complex and intellectually inspiring songs every 30 seconds" but they are producing music and in much larger quantities than "commercial" music. More power to them too.

@ Mike Moyle

Yeah, yeah, that's all well and good but the point is that loads of kids are making music and giving it away for free already. Will they produce a "Beethoven's Ninth"? Unlikely but not many professional songwriters have either. At the last count it was one, Beethoven. And no doubt his first ever piece was written by him sitting alone in a room at home, just like the kids.

@ both of you

You've really both missed my main points:

1. Music composition, performance, production, arrangement, mastering and distribution has now been democratised by cheap and ubiquitous technology.

2. Record labels aren't really required unless someone wants to be a Top 20 puppet.

3. Music sales are more likely to be affected by changes in spending habits than illegal downloading.

4. The music biz still doesn't have a clue about life in the 21st century.

Pirate icon, just to annoy a few people.

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MahatmaCoat
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Paris Hilton

The songwriters' worst enemy is...

...the song writers themselves because they are living in the past. The glory days of professional song writers are largely gone, certainly in the terms of the old music biz. The problem has nothing to do with file sharing. If some kid downloads 100 songs a week that doesn't mean 100 sales have been lost because that kid could never afford to buy them all anyway. The industry needs to think of file sharing as marketing; getting the songs listened to by a wider audience.

On top of that, music can now be written, performed, produced, arranged, mastered and distributed by kids in their bedrooms. Or DJs. Or anyone with a good idea, some talent and minimal kit. There is more music out there now than there ever was because there are more people making it.

If the same amount of money was spent on music today as it was say 20 years ago, it would be diluted as there are more artists chasing the same pot of cash. As it happens there is even less money available because da yoof of today doesn't just spend their money on music and beer anymore. There are DVDs, games, mobile phone bills, etc., that suck up a large proportion of available income.

One day the music biz will wake up and get a clue. If not it will go the way of the dinosaur and the 8-Track cartridge.

Paris, because she knows about musicianship. I once saw her playing the pink oboe in a vid.

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Link-spamming spreads to NHS, police

MahatmaCoat
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Works in Aus too

Bundaburg City Council has some hugely impressive linkage going on.

Mine's the one with the empty rum bottle in the pocket.

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Wrong kind of winter brings England to a halt

MahatmaCoat
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Paris Hilton

Don't worry about a few snowflakes in Blighty

The snow will be gone in no time. Meanwhile down here in Aus we have +40C of dry hell in the south with 37 dead from the heat. At the same time there areas larger than the UK under floodwater in the north. Oh, and a cyclone or two.

Enjoy the fluffy white stuff while you can.

Paris, because...er, just because.

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UK.gov backs ISPs on charging content providers, throttling P2P

MahatmaCoat
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Sorry, Nulab...

...but this will be the last straw for even your most ardent supporters. You are so voted out at the next election.

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UK donates Leo Sayer to Oz

MahatmaCoat
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Sayer returned to the Lucky Country...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucky_Country

"Australia is a lucky country, run by second-rate people who share its luck."

And, it seems, being entertained by them too.

Mine's the stupid clown outfit.

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First-ever pics of lunar polar crater interiors released

MahatmaCoat
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Only one word for this...

Indian!

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Wikimedia taps mystery sugardaddy for advisory board

MahatmaCoat
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I'm probably not the first to notice but...

...Bono is an anagram of "O nob".

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Sun MySQLers barred from Oz

MahatmaCoat
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No word of a lie...

The first time I visited Aus the passport officer looked at my landing card* and directed me to the quarantine desk. I was greeted with this:

"G'day. Mr Coat, do you have any manure on your footwear?"

"I'm sorry," I replied and not being being in the best of moods after 36 hours of BA hell added: "the travel agent said I only needed a business visa."

No one does a stony glare quite like an official that has just had the piss taken.

*The landing card has a question and tick box that asks if one has been on a farm within the last six months and I was stupid/honest enough to say yes.

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CPS denies support for überdatabase

MahatmaCoat
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Invasion of privacy?

"Any invasion of privacy will have to have a legitimate purpose"

I'm glad they're 'fessing up to invading privacy now.

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Dell shuts Limerick factory and scraps 1,900 jobs

MahatmaCoat
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@ David

"The huge incentives paid out by Ireland" were actually the subsidies from EU net contributing nations:

http://www.finfacts.ie/comment/irelandeunetreceiptsbenefits.htm

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MahatmaCoat
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I'm surprised it lasted 17 years

Towards the end of the previous century I bought some Dell boxes that came with rather spiffy monitors. The tubes were Trinitron that were made in a Sony factory in Wales. These were then shipped to Finland and placed in cases in a Nokia factory. From there they were sent to Dell in Ireland and then whole package was shipped to me in London.

No amount of EU subsidies was going to make that exercise in stupidity last forever. I'm afraid the Celtic Tiger was built on dreams, not realities.

Mine's the one with the subsidy under one arm and Dell pig under the other.

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UK.gov to push Obama for tougher rules online

MahatmaCoat
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Whenever I read something by a poli about the Net...

...the following words spring to mind:

out, talking, his, of, arse.

Rearrange into a well-known phrase or saying.

Where's the complete-and-utter-twat icon when you need one?

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Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah set for top two spots in Christmas Day charts

MahatmaCoat
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Oh, Sarah Bee

You said "normalcy". It just ruined my Christmas.

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Google spews desktop ads onto Satan, Jesus Phones

MahatmaCoat
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Er...

Spewgle?

Mine's the one covered in unwanted adverts.

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Vote now for your top net neologism

MahatmaCoat
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So many omissions

Regtards.

Ban me please, El Reg already soaks up far too much of my time.

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El Reg seeks top net neologism

MahatmaCoat
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*tards

The *tard family is mighty fine but the most useful, and increasingly so, is govtard. It's an anagram of Jaqui Smith written by a dislex, er, dyslecks, er, dissleks, er, a spelltard.

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Sweden judges back Pirate Hunter Act

MahatmaCoat
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Goodness gracious me

Indian!

Can't wait because Google Earth coverage around here is really shabby and Streetview is hilarious; it contains pictures of roads that don't exist on the ground.

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MahatmaCoat
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Wot? No Abba?

"Yesterday, several members of the Swedish entertainment industry came out in support of the new measure, including musician Per Gessle, actor Mikael Persbrandt and Sweden-based British film director Colin Nutley."

Who they?

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DoS and distributed hacking tools finally criminalised

MahatmaCoat
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You couldn't make it up

The govt creates endless databases and then passes a law that removes pen testing tools from the sysadmins' toolboxes.

Where's the "utter genius" icon when you need one?

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Rebel Nominet director calls for the heads of Chairman and CEO

MahatmaCoat
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To quote Peter Cook...

...this man is a proven lawyer.

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Is the internet going down down under?

MahatmaCoat
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@ lIsRT

"I guess now the stereotypical Tor user will be tinfoil-hat-wearing, terrorist-attack-planning, CP-trading *AND* Australian."

That'd be a tin-foil hat with tin-foil corks then?

Mine's the Driza-Bone with a VPN in the pocket.

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Bespoke top level domains 'to cost $200,000'

MahatmaCoat
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I'd like to register...

...typical-icann.ripoff

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Oz watchdogs howl over 'Cyber-Safety' net filter

MahatmaCoat
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It has already started

A teacher from a school in New South Wales has reported that her school network can no longer view one of the anti-censorship campaign sites:

http://www.somebodythinkofthechildren.com/nsw-schools-block-nocleanfeedcom/

I'll get my coat with VPN4ME on the back.

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Hoon: Not building überdatabase would be terrorist licence to kill

MahatmaCoat
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Douglas Adams was right

It's time to haul out the words of The Wise One for some fresh air again. Just substitute "govtard" for "newsreader"

"Newsreaders still feel it is worth a special and rather worrying mention if, for instance, a crime was planned by people 'over the Internet.' They don't bother to mention when criminals use the telephone or the M4, or discuss their dastardly plans 'over a cup of tea,' though each of these was new and controversial in their day."

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McCain begs for YouTube DMCA takedown immunity

MahatmaCoat
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Paris Hilton

Excellent

"McCain was among the Senators that voted in favor (sic) of the provision in 1998."

Not quite instant karma but close enough for me.

Paris, cos she understands about dodgy vids.

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Jacqui Smith resurrects 42-days after Lords rejection

MahatmaCoat
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Pfft

Govtard.

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OpenOffice.org overwhelmed by demand for version 3.0

MahatmaCoat
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All mirrors, no smoke

http://download.openoffice.org/

Or your ISP's mirror site, if you have one.

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Serial commentard bitchslaps Reg hack

MahatmaCoat
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Please no, not again

If anyone is unfortunate enough to come across another less-than-smart person from the colonies that insists they "saved our asses" please point them at this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Sealion#Post-war_test_of_the_plan

Saved our asses? I didn't even realise our odd-toed ungulate load-bearing friends were even in danger.

I'll get me donkey jacket.

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