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* Posts by Moktu

45 posts • joined 13 Sep 2012

Siri: Helpful personal assistant or SERIAL APP KILLER?

Moktu

"Siri show me some porn"

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LOHAN wrapped in vinyl as Kickstarter campaign hits £18,000!

Moktu

Better hide

Wait till PETA find out you've been animal testing.

You'll be knee deep in angry naked women.

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REVEALED: GCHQ's BEYOND TOP SECRET Middle Eastern INTERNET SPY BASE

Moktu

Re: Official Secrets Act?

But don't worry.

We'll bake you a cake with a file in it.

Your grateful readership.

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Rubber-glove time: Italy to probe TripAdvisor over 'fake reviews'

Moktu

Re: Patterns

Unless it's been cleaned up

Look at The Camelot Castle Hotel in Tintagel for giggles.

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Roll up, roll up for the Commentards' Ball

Moktu

Boycott

I'm not coming if Eadon isn't invited.

What's that? I had a whelk's chance in a supernova of being invited anyway....

/me grumbles off

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Terrifying photo special: 'Electric Cannon' anal orgasmo-probe in use ... on a BULL

Moktu

Dear Theresa May.

I didn't mean to look at this Reg story, please don't put me on a list.

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BlackBerry makes its devilish Android trickery official in OS update

Moktu

Re: lovely

Annoyingly enough I have the go ahead to purchase Z30's, but EE the gits don't carry them.

and I have a 8k equipment fund I want to spend.

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El Reg preps relaunch of Cash’n’Carrion online merchandise emporium

Moktu

Re: Tees and mugs?

I had a rather nice BOTH T Shirt a while back.

Admittedly I used it to wipe clean the dipstick for the boat engine, but it came up nice and shiny.

I'd buy another, and maybe one for the gearbox dipstick too.

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Rogue Android: We show you how BlackBerry's pain can be your gain

Moktu

BB10 is a capable OS

The staff here thank you, due to this article I have been able to provide them with the business app they have been clamoring for since our last phone upgrade.

Pocket Frogs

What will probably kill this dead before it goes much further, is a lot of apps that also appear in the BB World market are pay for on Blackberry. so getting these apps for free from the Android Market is probably legally the same as genocide or something. I suspect lawyers will be warming up the outrage bus as I type.

.

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Ten top tech toys to interface with a techie’s Christmas stocking

Moktu

Re: Strange

I bought myself one for my birthday. Absolutely lovely device.

But no one loves me enough to buy me a PS4 for crimbo, and yeah, I'm adopted.

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Justin Bieber BEGGED for a $200k RIM JOB – and got REJECTED

Moktu

Sod Bieber

BB need to get the Z30 into EE's greasy hands, so I can buy one using our technology fund.

It's either that or bifocals, The gits!

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Fancy knocking off early? Just run our fake computer crash 'virus', say admen

Moktu

Re: Utter Bastards

You take the manager with you..... After all they have bigger wallets.

If you haven't found your manager's secret porn stash / dodgy web browsing history within a week of starting a new job, find another (Job / Manager).

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Moktu

Re: Utter Bastards

Anyone in Tech Support worth their salt should have arranged a vendor meeting, or offsite emergency, and pissed off down the pub hours ago.

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Vladimir PUTIN officially HARDER than CHUCK NORRIS

Moktu

Heresy! Burn him!

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Right royal rumpus over remote-control 'RoboRoach'

Moktu

In my mind it's a bit cruel to the cockroach.

Couldn't we use Steve Ballmer / Tony Blair / insert name here, instead?

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Heins didn't have the beans. Can comeback king Chen fish BlackBerry out of jam?

Moktu

Re: Where are.....

My EE account manager tells me you can buy a Z10 from them for £200.

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Poor miserable Ballmer's pay SLASHED to a measly $1.26m

Moktu

Not to Worry Steve

There's always prostitution.

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Reg readers! You've got 100 MILLION QUID - what would you BLOW it on?

Moktu

I'd treat my best mate Moktu to a slap-up dinner and some serious Friday pints if I were Ofcom.

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Everyone's waving their 5-inchers: BlackBerry outs new supersized Z30

Moktu
FAIL

Re: I'm having one of these bad boys

Singing on the dotted line(sic).....

Not a typo.. I ratify all contracts with a few show tunes.

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Moktu

I'm having one of these bad boys

I have just emailed my EE presales rep to tell him that carrying these is a prerequisite to me singing on the dotted line. I forgot the smilies.

I'm a big fan of the Z10 (I've had a demo one for a couple of weeks), but my personal phone is a Galaxy note and sub 5" screens don't cut it any more.

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OK, so we paid a bill late, but did BT have to do this?

Moktu

Sport

Today I'm taking great delight in telling BT that they're not getting our 55 mobile contract.

They're at the current whiny "I must admit I'm surprised" stage.. However the boss won't let me reply with "yes but you're shit, and you insist I use BT Local business, and they're the only organisation that are shitter than you."

Wait till i tell them they've lost the ISDN and landlines too.

Happy days.

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UK mulls ban on tiny mobiles to block prison smugglers

Moktu

Thanks UK Gov

Seeing that money is also smuggled into prisons, maybe you might want to look at bannng that too.

As it is I've just ordered a Zini minature phone, because they look like cool little toys.

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Auntie touts e-babysitting ... and no £15,000 in-app purchase shocks

Moktu

Excellent

That's this afternoon's meeting taken care of.

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MYRA HINDLEY found working in Capita's benefits & revenues unit

Moktu

Getting into the mindset ...

I'd have thought anyone in Crapita's management team would have been a better choice for a deranged psychopath.

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Man sues Apple for allowing him to become addicted to PORN

Moktu

So, the man's a lawyer, therefore he's a natural wanker...

What's the problem?

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WW II U-boat attacks prompt new US response

Moktu
Coat

Re: Fun fact

But if the Richard Mongomery were ever to go up, no one will actually miss the Isle of Sheppy.

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IT bloke publishes comprehensive maps of CALL CENTRE menu HELL

Moktu

Alternatively

I prefer it if someone published the home addresses of the people who commissioned, designed and implemented these systems.

Then I'll know where to send the comrades on the first day of the revolution.

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Which petite model likes a fondle and GETTING WET? Sony's Xperia ZR

Moktu

In these days of wireless charging, NFC and A2DP etc, I'm wondering when we will see a handset that can survive a proper dunking.

The environmental protection doesn't seem much better than my old Defy (which is still going, after I fell overboard from an inflatable in Norfolk)

Mind you even if this was the case, it'd be a bit of a beast to hang round my neck underneath a lifejacket.

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O2 scoffs at call-centre outsource fears, forgets to rule it out completely

Moktu

Re: On the bright side

see, 3 halfwits not 4

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Moktu

On the bright side

If it comes to pass, it will make contract renewal decisions just a little bit easier.

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US Air Force beats off competition in NSA hacking fight

Moktu

'ello sir I'm a friendly boyscout.

It's nickel a job, Can I wash your car, mow your lawn, Bastionise the servers in your DMZ?

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Moktu

How in the name of Xenu, did the Foetus in the bottom picture manage to get medals before his testicles descended?

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Boffin road trip! The Reg presents Geek's Guide to Britain

Moktu

Re: Excellent

Not as brave as you think. That post was from work.

You should see her reaction if I mention geocaching. cue much rolling of eyes, and deep sighing.

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Moktu

Excellent

I'm always looking for new ways to bore the wife.

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US insurer punts 'bestiality' to wide-eyed kiddies, gasp 'mums'

Moktu

Obviously

An organisation of people, with too much time on their hands. They should try procrasturbation or just "getting a life"

And I can't let a thread about Geico go by without indulging.... "hmmmm Miss Geico"

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Council IT bod in the dock for flogging scrap work PC parts

Moktu

Seems like an enterprising chap. rather better than ending up being shipped overseas, and picked over for precious metals by chinese children (poisioning them in the process).

If i need an IT bod who can think outside the box, I'll look him up.

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Ubuntu? Fedora? Mint? Debian? We'll find you the right Linux to swallow

Moktu

Cheers for that!!!

I've just spent a productive 20 minutes creating a dual boot Win 7 / Mint workstation.

It's been simply years since I tried Linux, and to be honest didn't have the patience to persevere. I have to say, i'm impressed with the improvements.

time to have a mooch round, while the boss isn't looking.

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BT ordered to pay £95m to rivals it overcharged for FIVE years

Moktu

The recipients i'm asuming, will then pass it back to the real people who have been overcharged... The end customer.

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WinPho 8 fans now able to order HTC handsets

Moktu

Re: I'm considering getting one.

I have a "spare" Galaxy Note as well :sheepish grin::

I want a bright red handset for a spare.... Who am I kidding? I want a Lumina 920 but the wife would kill me....

MUST RESIST bright coloured shiny....

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Moktu

I'm considering getting one.

My personal contract is up for renewal, Now I have a much loved Galaxy Note on that SIM at the moment, but as a standby phone they certainly look the biz.

It's either one of these or a Lumina 920.

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Ocker CANNIBAL DEATH SPIDERS invade Japan!

Moktu

With all the wildlife that is simply waiting to rid the country of as many humans as it can, it never ceased to amaze me how they ran round screaming like a five year old, at the very sight of a "European Wasp"

It's always funny to watch an entire BBQ of surfers and rugby players run around screaming, because of one little wasp.

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Samsung Galaxy Note 2 review

Moktu

I can't believe I'm actually excited about a phone release.

::Dribble::

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Ten iPhone 5 challengers

Moktu

Re: Eluga Power

Very true, but my original Motorola Defy has survived a couple of dunkings.

The drowned Note, was solely due to me getting excited about getting onto the water, and forgetting to transfer the SIM into the Defy (Which I duely packed into a waterproof flare type box). I cried like a gurl.

Also as my boss like to remind me, I'm employed to be avaliable 24/7/365 so I can have a handset at the helm, and the odd bit of spray / rain doesn't bother it.

As I'm already rapidly going off topic. My fanboiism for life, to the first company that uses inductive charging and Stereo over Bluetooth to provide a proper smartphone (W8, Android, anything else) that can survive depths of 5 meters for an hour.

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Moktu

Re: Eluga Power

A very stupid name, but an IP57 rated handset with a 5" screen.....

I'd seriously like one of those as my boaty phone. The sinking feeling you get when you are standing up to your waist in seawater, and you remember which pocket your Galaxy Note is left in, is not one I want to repeat.

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