* Posts by mIRCat

340 posts • joined 17 Aug 2012

Page:

Australia considers mass herpes release for population control

mIRCat
Coat

I swear you're the only woman for me!

Try explaining that rash to the missus.

Mines the one with extra protection in the pocket.

0
0

Debian Linux founder Ian Murdock dead at 42

mIRCat
Linux

A revolutionary

Goodbye sir. So long and thanks for all the Debians.

2
0

Hillary Clinton: Stop helping terrorists, Silicon Valley – weaken your encryption

mIRCat
Black Helicopters

Military Intelligence and other Oxymorons

"Regardless, senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), who chairs the US Senate Intelligence Committee, went on TV and said..."

Perhaps if they focused on Human Intelligence instead of worrying about SIGINT there would be one less reason to question the collective intelligence of their committees. Terrifyingly it is not only in Washington where they lack intelligence.

1
1

Apple's design 'drives up support costs, makes gadgets harder to use'

mIRCat

Re: But

"Look, if you you're too fucking stupid to search with Google, then maybe you balls deserve that kind of treatment.

Dropbox/OneDrive/Google Drive is what you are looking for." - Anon

https://xkcd.com/949/

Sure that wouldn't make it more difficult than it needs to be. I mean the Internet makes everything easier. Even transferring files between local devices. Twenty years on and I still email myself files.

1
0

Microsoft's 'Arrow' Android launcher flies into Play store

mIRCat
Terminator

Re: Auto adjusting to what the user does often

"I want a machine to behave like a machine which means that the controls stay where I expect them to be. Am I in a minority here? " - leon clarke

Our future machine overlords will not be pleased with comments like this.

Let me be the first to say I am happy to accept whatever changes our machine overlords deem necessary.

2
0

AT&T, Verizon probed: 'No escape from biz broadband packages'

mIRCat
Flame

For the love of all that is holy THERE'S A BRIDGE FIRE!?

"The terms the Commission is reviewing are commonplace in most commercial contracts, and in fact are being used by our competitors in their own contracts," AT&T vice-president of federal regulator Frank Simone

Now Frankie, if all of your little friends were jumping off bridges do you think your mother and I would let you jump too?

1
0

Boffins make brain-to-brain direct communication breakthrough

mIRCat
Coat

Your results may vary

"Pretty sure experiments like this have been done before, but the real breakthrough is...

using the internet. " - Triboolean

If they could find a way to package it all into a mobile phone, I'm sure that they would be granted a patent on the novelty of the idea.

Mine is the one with a device that allows direct communication with other people and still fits in a pocket.

0
0

ESA tries UPLOADING PATCH to Philae lander to fix radios

mIRCat
Boffin

Re: Lesson learned?

Are we going to have boffins popping by to see if we've got a spot of isotope laying around?

0
0

Jeff Bezos trousers $8m Florida rocket sweetener package

mIRCat
Paris Hilton

All penis jokes aside

Can it be used to deliver packages any quicker?

Okay I lied, it was another penis joke. Prime... for her pleasure.

0
0

Raspberry Pi gains new FreeBSD distribution

mIRCat

That's a pi of a different colour.

The future is now! Or will be around shortly.

Where'd I leave all my spare SD cards?

1
0

Boffins: The universe is DOOMED and there's nothing to be done

mIRCat
Terminator

You think you've got problems?

Only another fifty or hundred trillion years left? Honestly, what's the point? I think I'll stay in bed today.

"The first ten million years were the worst. And the second ten million: they were the worst, too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that, I went into a bit of a decline."

2
0

Gigabit Google? We're getting ready for 10 gigabits says Verizon

mIRCat
Joke

But here's the kicker

Monthly caps top out at five gigabytes.

4
0

Russia threatens to block Reddit over dopey posts

mIRCat
Coat

Coming up aces

"Youtube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and LiveJournal are all in the nation's top 25".

I guess it may be time I knock the dust off my LiveJournal. I've never had a YouTube, Twatter, or Instagram account and I deactivated the FaceBook over a year ago.

What's Russian for, "Will you marry me for citizenship?"

1
0

Google's new parent Alphabet owns abc.xyz – and, yup, there's already an abc.wtf

mIRCat
Coat

They all thought I was crazy.

I was the recipient of strange looks every time I asked if it was the first of April, but I knew there were hijinks afoot!

0
0

W is for WTF: Google CEO quits, new biz Alphabet takes over

mIRCat
Joke

I missed it.

I was waiting for a characteristically Reg punchline until nearly half way through. The entire article has a first of April feel that I still cannot shake.

Obviously the joke went over my head.

6
0

Google bows to inevitable, stops forcing Google+ logins on YouTubers

mIRCat
Coat

Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read.

"With this latest move, Google+ will now be put in a position to sink and swim once and for all. Without other services feeding users into its ranks, Google+ will have to establish itself as a social network in its own right."

It is time for Google+ to move into the niche it was created to fill. The social media platform for people whom post photos of what their cats are eating for dinner.

Which one of you left this tuna in my coat?

0
0

Ashley Madison invites red-faced cheats to bolt stable door for free

mIRCat
FAIL

Asking nicely always works wonders

"Using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA), our team has now successfully removed the all posts related to this incident as well as all Personally Identifiable Information (PII) about our users published online," ALN said in a statement.

Because that's exactly how the internet works.

32
0

Bill Nye's bonkers LightSail spaceship unfurls solar sails at last

mIRCat
Coat

Re: Energy vs momentum

Wot? Parties?

0
0

AT&T: We'll play nice with net neutrality, just let us gobble DirecTV

mIRCat
Childcatcher

Actions speak louder than money.

Any one with children knows that you don't negotiate on the promises of good behavior. Even if they managed to cooperate for a full year previous I'd find myself leery of making any form of agreement with them.

But we can't forget the Golden Rule.

2
0

Charter Comms to wed Time Warner Cable in monster merger

mIRCat
Joke

Where's the punchline?

"Representatives of each of these companies have invented some of the most revolutionary communications products ever created"

I didn't know horrible customer service could be labeled as a product.

I guess that is the joke.

3
0

Windows and OS X are malware, claims Richard Stallman

mIRCat

Kick starter needed.

Bless his little heart.

Anyone of the mind to start an Indiegogo to get the poor bloke a haircut? Any left over dosh goes to the FSF of course.

4
2

Ericsson to Apple: Cough up for licences or stop selling iPhones, iPads and Watches

mIRCat
Angel

Pontufex Maximus

"pontuficating"? - Queasy Rider

No bridge building here, please.

0
0

SUPERVOLCANIC MAGMA reservoir BUBBLING under Yellowstone Park

mIRCat
Coat

Re: Covering the US

"Ice fairs like in the 1600s could return to the Thames - probably year round." - DougS

Do you want to get wolves? Because that's how we get wolves.

6
0

Silicon Valley gets its first 1Gbps home bro– oh, there's a big catch

mIRCat

Just what the doctor ordered.

More money and less privacy, where can I sign up?

0
0

Elon Musk plans to plonk urban Hyperloop subsonic tube on California

mIRCat

Re: Secure transport system?

"(And a series of tubes...)" - malle-herbert

Your idea has merit. We just need an infrastructure of interconnected tubes.

1
0

Google sues Mississippi Attorney General 'for doing MPAA's dirty work'

mIRCat
Childcatcher

In completely unrelated news...

Mr Hood has left the Attorney General's office and accepted a new position in D.C. as an external consultant/lobbyist for the M.P.A.A.

Tune in at 5, 7, and 10 for other facts that won't surprise you.

3
2

NASA prods sleeping New Horizons spacecraft: Wakey, wakey, Pluto's calling

mIRCat
Boffin

a high-resolution telescopic camera? pfftt.

Artist's rendition or it didn't happen.

4
0

NASA 'nauts have a go on Star Trek replicator IN SPAAAAACE (sort of)

mIRCat
Terminator

I think I saw this in a movie once.

"Ultimately, one day, a printer may even be able to print another printer."

Have the boffins learned nothing!?

0
0

Lenovo: We'll say HELLO MOTO to profits in 18 months

mIRCat
Coat

Not just a phone... okay mostly just a phone.

Can I finally expect an update to my e815?

Still the best phone I've ever owned.

2
0

ESA's spaceplane cleared for lift-off in February 2015

mIRCat
Boffin

Re: Pix or it doesn't xist

"And for those wondering what the actual IXV space-plane looks like, I found this"

Yeah? Where's the rest of it?

0
0

Pre-digital computer 'cranks out' Fourier Transforms

mIRCat
Pint

Re: be careful about calling it Non- or Pre-Digital

Bit early in the week to be pedantic, but have a pint on me.

2
1

Gotham gets the Smallville treatment with Jim Gordon in lead role

mIRCat
Childcatcher

Won't somebody think of the foreshadowing!?

And the children of course. The moment young Master Bruce starts drawing bats in his "dark doodles" I think I may call it quits on the series. As it is I worry about how early they're trying to cram everything in instead of carefully drawing things out and giving fans clues along the way. Why give a subtle nod and a wink when a nod and a shout will do, right?

As for children being poor pickpockets, perhaps you should reread Oliver Twist. A young crim with cat-like reflexes shouldn't have to break a sweat performing her craft.

2
0

Want to break Netflix? It'll pay you to do the job

mIRCat
Pint

You're getting what you pay for.

“adequate performance gets a generous severance package.”

I'll take one of those, please.

1
0

FBI boss: Apple's iPhone, iPad encryption puts people 'ABOVE THE LAW'

mIRCat
WTF?

It's simple.

He's an idiot.

4
1

Man's future in space ... Barack Obama: Mars. Narendra Modi: Mars. Vladimir Putin: Er, Moon

mIRCat
Alien

In Russia rockets land on you!

How do you say, "awesome fucking moonbase" in Russian?

Seriously though..

"Implementing the guidelines of the Basic Principles of Russia's space policy till the year 2030 and for a longer perspective, we have begun design works of a new manned spaceship".

It'll be nearly sixty years since we first stepped foot there before we get habitation? Sadly if there had be indigenous people there we'd probably would have done it decades ago. That's humanity for you.

2
0

SpaceX blasts a mischief of mice, a 3D printer and a cuddly toy* into SPAAAACE

mIRCat
Alien

I keep telling them..

In space no one can hear you print.

Perhaps just a horrible tagline for a movie about office supply salesmen... in space. Perhaps my next profitable business venture.

Who will be there for you when you're running out of toner... and breathable atmosphere?

1
0

Look, ma, FOUR HANDS! Microsoft bigs up pixeltastic TWO-USER mega-screen

mIRCat
Windows

I'll take the suit too, please.

Where's that ironman technology that Elon demonstrated (No, not the suit) a few months back? That's something I'd like to see more of.

Do you think it runs on Win8?

0
0

A Terabyte in my HOUSE? Got more than that in my POCKET

mIRCat
Headmaster

Re: Cloud? Why?

"why, for god's sake, do I need to connect to the cloud?" - picturethis

In the paragraph near the bottom of the article it states, "WD’s My Cloud mobile app “connects to a My Passport Wireless drive". While I have never used it myself it sounds like it could be in your bedroom (or living room or pocket as the headline posits). The entire MyCloud feature is trying to capitalize on the popular buzzword of the day, Cloud.

Otherwise, I agree with you. I hate the way everyone is throwing around " The Cloud".

3
0

CNN 'tech analyst' on NAKED CELEBS: WHO IS this mystery '4chan' PERSON?

mIRCat
Coat

My luggage combination is still safe for now.

"* Here in the UK, people with the password "password" should no doubt change the "s" to a pound sign, which looks like this: pa££word."

Thanks, El Reg. Now I'll have to change my password, again

Mine is the one with the "encryption" in the pocket.

1
0

It's time for PGP to die, says ... no, not the NSA – a US crypto prof

mIRCat
Coat

Call now. Just £1.99 a minute and any expectations of privacy.

Wanna chat with hot lonely girls near you now? Just enter your private key here..

Obligatory xkcd - https://www.xkcd.com/364/

1
0

X marks the chop: Microsoft takes axe to Nokia's Android venture

mIRCat
Windows

As any foo' knows.

"Microsoft will make R&D cuts (or "ramp down our engineering work") in Finnish city Oulu, Beijing and San Diego."

Because that's how you succeed in a market.

1
0

Islamic terror peril hits US giants' phone wallets

mIRCat
Coat

May I suggest...

Avoid rebranding themselves as Sith.

You know to avoid any confusion with hokey religions. I know I left a good blaster in one of these pockets.

1
0

Aereo presses pause on 'tiny antenna' TV-streaming service

mIRCat
Pint

It's in the details.

"Aereo sells a service that allows subscribers to watch television programmes, many of which are copyrighted, virtually as they are being broadcast."

I don't think they understand the meaning of broadcast. If I have an antenna and a small digital video capture device for private viewing, that's okay. I put it over at my mate's place because it gets better reception, that's okay. I pay a company to put it in a warehouse, that's not okay?

When 'they' send out the signal, that is broadcast it, and someone happens to receive it and store it for later viewing they should have no say over when or on what equipment is used. Aereo was not rebroadcasting any copyrighted material, they're delivering it to a single subscriber. One antenna, one DVR, one viewer.

Am I mistaken in that thinking? The court seems either ignorant of technology or unduly influenced by big * (media/pharma/business).

It's only Monday and I'm ready for a pint.

1
0

'Sterile neutrinos' re-ignite 'we found dark-stuff' debate

mIRCat
Joke

If you know what's good for you..

"Sterile neutrinos are a hypothetical type of neutrino that is predicted to interact with normal matter only via gravity."

That's some nice gravity you have there... Be a real shame if something were to happen to it.

1
0

Physicist proposes 1,000-foot state-sized walls to stop tornadoes

mIRCat
Boffin

The reports of my tornado...

I knew Mark Twain and you sir are no Mark Twain.

Good luck to Mr Tao in all future endeavors wherever they may take him.

0
0

Titan sprouts 'Magic Island', say astroboffins

mIRCat
Coat

Re: It's not "magic".

"It's not "magic"."

The resolution of the images isn't high enough to spot their summer homes, but Mithrandir, Dumbledore, and David Blaine are a bit disappointed to hear you say that.

My coat is the Grey one.

1
0

Nokia paid off extortionist in 2007: Finnish TV

mIRCat
Holmes

Where the rest of us get our news.

I'm just flabbergasted that it was MTv News that reported this.

Kurt Loder, where are you now?

0
0

FCC boss says he'll SHAME broadband firms for fibbing on speeds

mIRCat
Joke

Don't let him near your baby.

"As a result, I’ve directed FCC staff to write to the underperforming companies to ask why this happened and what they will do to solve this.”

Spoken like a true dingo.

4
0

IBM says it's made your mobe more chatty

mIRCat
Terminator

Is it T-900 compatible?

No one ever got fired for buying IBM.

0
0

Top Canadian court: Cops need warrant to get names from ISPs

mIRCat
Facepalm

Re: mIRCat It's for your own good.

"So you would prefer paedos don't get caught?" - Matt Bryant

Where the bloody hell did you read that? My fear would be that in their zeal to catch predators like this and other criminals the police would cut administrative corners that could result in a miscarriage of justice. Luckily these judges, as others have stated, showed common sense and upheld the verdict against this man while saying the police need to request a warrant. Which seems like a small inconvenience if it means that the case doesn't get thrown out on a technicality.

My original comment was only referring to when Mr Dechert started with “we will continue to crack down on cyberbullies and online criminals who work against and make our children and all Canadians unsafe." Which I hope we can all agree with. Then went just a little bit further saying, "We will keep Canadians safe”.

I guess it all is a matter of context, Matt.

2
0

Page:

Forums