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* Posts by mIRCat

301 posts • joined 17 Aug 2012

Page:

It's time for PGP to die, says ... no, not the NSA – a US crypto prof

mIRCat
Coat

Call now. Just £1.99 a minute and any expectations of privacy.

Wanna chat with hot lonely girls near you now? Just enter your private key here..

Obligatory xkcd - https://www.xkcd.com/364/

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X marks the chop: Microsoft takes axe to Nokia's Android venture

mIRCat
Windows

As any foo' knows.

"Microsoft will make R&D cuts (or "ramp down our engineering work") in Finnish city Oulu, Beijing and San Diego."

Because that's how you succeed in a market.

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Islamic terror peril hits US giants' phone wallets

mIRCat
Coat

May I suggest...

Avoid rebranding themselves as Sith.

You know to avoid any confusion with hokey religions. I know I left a good blaster in one of these pockets.

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Aereo presses pause on 'tiny antenna' TV-streaming service

mIRCat
Pint

It's in the details.

"Aereo sells a service that allows subscribers to watch television programmes, many of which are copyrighted, virtually as they are being broadcast."

I don't think they understand the meaning of broadcast. If I have an antenna and a small digital video capture device for private viewing, that's okay. I put it over at my mate's place because it gets better reception, that's okay. I pay a company to put it in a warehouse, that's not okay?

When 'they' send out the signal, that is broadcast it, and someone happens to receive it and store it for later viewing they should have no say over when or on what equipment is used. Aereo was not rebroadcasting any copyrighted material, they're delivering it to a single subscriber. One antenna, one DVR, one viewer.

Am I mistaken in that thinking? The court seems either ignorant of technology or unduly influenced by big * (media/pharma/business).

It's only Monday and I'm ready for a pint.

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'Sterile neutrinos' re-ignite 'we found dark-stuff' debate

mIRCat
Joke

If you know what's good for you..

"Sterile neutrinos are a hypothetical type of neutrino that is predicted to interact with normal matter only via gravity."

That's some nice gravity you have there... Be a real shame if something were to happen to it.

1
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Physicist proposes 1,000-foot state-sized walls to stop tornadoes

mIRCat
Boffin

The reports of my tornado...

I knew Mark Twain and you sir are no Mark Twain.

Good luck to Mr Tao in all future endeavors wherever they may take him.

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Titan sprouts 'Magic Island', say astroboffins

mIRCat
Coat

Re: It's not "magic".

"It's not "magic"."

The resolution of the images isn't high enough to spot their summer homes, but Mithrandir, Dumbledore, and David Blaine are a bit disappointed to hear you say that.

My coat is the Grey one.

1
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Nokia paid off extortionist in 2007: Finnish TV

mIRCat
Holmes

Where the rest of us get our news.

I'm just flabbergasted that it was MTv News that reported this.

Kurt Loder, where are you now?

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FCC boss says he'll SHAME broadband firms for fibbing on speeds

mIRCat
Joke

Don't let him near your baby.

"As a result, I’ve directed FCC staff to write to the underperforming companies to ask why this happened and what they will do to solve this.”

Spoken like a true dingo.

4
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IBM says it's made your mobe more chatty

mIRCat
Terminator

Is it T-900 compatible?

No one ever got fired for buying IBM.

0
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Top Canadian court: Cops need warrant to get names from ISPs

mIRCat
Facepalm

Re: mIRCat It's for your own good.

"So you would prefer paedos don't get caught?" - Matt Bryant

Where the bloody hell did you read that? My fear would be that in their zeal to catch predators like this and other criminals the police would cut administrative corners that could result in a miscarriage of justice. Luckily these judges, as others have stated, showed common sense and upheld the verdict against this man while saying the police need to request a warrant. Which seems like a small inconvenience if it means that the case doesn't get thrown out on a technicality.

My original comment was only referring to when Mr Dechert started with “we will continue to crack down on cyberbullies and online criminals who work against and make our children and all Canadians unsafe." Which I hope we can all agree with. Then went just a little bit further saying, "We will keep Canadians safe”.

I guess it all is a matter of context, Matt.

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mIRCat
Big Brother

It's for your own good.

"We will keep Canadians safe,” he said.

Whether they want it or not. Sounds like a proper Big Brother.

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UK govt 'tearing up road laws' for Google's self-driving cars: THE TRUTH

mIRCat

Re: Driverless car

"Tiamat hates trains. Don't fuck with her."

TFTFY.

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China puts Windows 8 on TV, screams: 'SECURITY, GET IT OUT OF HERE!'

mIRCat
Coat

Re: only desktop version of Windows still being sold.

"You mean they dont actually have a viable product at the moment?"

You mean they had one at some point? Ha, but I kid.

Seriously though, where is my copy of Debian Wheezy?

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Still using e-mail? Marketers say you're part of DARK SOCIAL

mIRCat
Coat

One word.

Fuck 'em.

Wait that's two words.

0
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Google is tech industry and world's most valuable brand as Apple rots

mIRCat
Joke

Re: $US1589bn?

I think that number may represent peak Google.

4
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BEAM ME UP SCOTTY: Boffins to turn PURE LIGHT into MATTER

mIRCat
Coat

Re: Star Trek Replicators

Obvious choice for their first attempt?

Boffin: Computer. Tea, Earl Grey, hot.

Mine is the one with the gamma ray protective lining.

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Apple, Google: WE SURRENDER ... to each other in patent war truce

mIRCat
Coat

Call me paranoid

...but I don't see this being good for the consumer.

Where's a tinfoil hat when you need one?

0
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Nokia Camera guru: I'm finished being Finnish, and off to 'the company you're thinking of'

mIRCat
Terminator

Re: iPad and tablet photography...

"Except for those who wish to brand themselves as utter tools in public."

More colloquially referred to as "A bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes."

On the upside, now thanks to Partinen, we'll have some lovely footage of it.

4
1

Laser deflector shields possible with today's tech – but there's one small problem

mIRCat
Mushroom

Moon Base One!

"The other drawback is physical. Any spaceship carrying the shield would need a massive magnetic array to contain the plasma bubble, not to mention a power source capable of maintaining it."

It sounds suitable for my future moon base! Or other ground based operation that has a large underground power plant.

Sharks with laser beams not included.

0
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Elon Musk wants SpaceX to launch spy sats – and will sue US gov to do so

mIRCat
Pirate

Re: Anyway we can put Elon IN one of his rockets...

"Anyway we can put Elon IN one of his rockets... and send him on a one-way trip somewhere?"

Bad form, sir. Bad form.

The one reason I can imagine not opening up the contract bidding is the super secret nature of the business, but that shouldn't be something Musk and others can't work to become certified for.

6
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Tim Cook: Apple's 'closer than it's ever been' to releasing new product range

mIRCat
Big Brother

Working in retail...

"I realize that there are some companies playing in it, but you still have a wallet in your back pocket and I do too which probably means it hasn’t been figured out just yet.”

Doing support for retail stores when they call to report that a customer can't use their Credit/ Debit/ EBT card, or God forbid, during a major outage can you guess what I tell them? Cash still works.

So I'll keep my wallet on me for a while longer, seeing as what's in it is universally accepted, Mr Cook.

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Japan plans SEVEN satellite launches to supercharge GPS

mIRCat
Boffin

Re: Is there a rocket scientist in the house?

" Is it possible to maintain a geosynchronous orbit with the mass of these satellites at the altitude at which they orbit? I honestly don't know. That's the only thing I could imagine though, but I'm certainly no rocket scientist."

Hold one moment, I'm loading Kerbal.

There when your boffins aren't.

0
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Mad Raspberry Pi boffins ripped out its BRAINS and SHRANK them for your pleasure

mIRCat
Coat

Is that a PC in your pock or are you just happy to see me?

"on a 67.5mm-by-30mm board that can be slotted into a standard DDR2 SO-DIMM connector."

Holy miniaturization Batman!

Nope it's just a computer.

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Too late, Blighty! Samsung boffins claim breakthrough graphene manufacturing success

mIRCat
Coat

Re: The real difference

"I'm not going to mention rectangle/rounded/corner because, frankly, that's such a tired meme & anyone posting a reference to it now, or in the future, should just be null routed."

I'm not going to point out you just contradicted your own statement, but... well crap.

On the upside Samsung can offer to license the product to Apple for a billion dollars.

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mIRCat
Boffin

Boffins

"wafer-scale growth of wrinkle-free single-crystal monolayer graphene on silicon wafer using a hydrogen-terminated germanium buffer layer."

When put like that, it's a bit obvious innit?

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White House blasts Samsung for tweeting Obama-Ortiz selfie

mIRCat
Big Brother

Bad press not included...

"… And we certainly object in this case," he said.

More of a fanboy, huh?

Silly Korean company thinking it can make a profit off of the P.O.T.U.S.! Buy 'Merkan!

2
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Dish and DirecTV deal: Damned if they merge, damned if they don't

mIRCat
Paris Hilton

When in doubt, screw the customer!

"All of which would create carnage in content purchasing, broadband concentration and media reach."

You forgot the part about the consumer getting screwed.

Paris... natch.

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US Supreme Court Justices hear arguments in game-changing software IP case

mIRCat
Coat

Re: All software is math

"Deep down, everything can be seen as math."

Is this another one of those my mom jokes?

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Facebook swallows Oculus VR goggle-geeks. Did that really happen?

mIRCat

Spend the dosh! Eye candy buffet, no free nosh, bitches!

Someone should have told Zuckerboy if he'd waited he could have grabbed a pair of goggles for a couple hundred quid.

On the upside this will save me from having to splash the cash on my own set of them.

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BOYCOTT FIREFOX, rage gay devs as Mozilla appoints JavaScript daddy as CEO

mIRCat
Coat

Hey, barman! Please call me a taxi.

"Why did Rosa Parks only boycott buses?"

Sounds like somebody held an interest in a shoe repair business.

Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

1
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'Weev' attempts to overturn AT&T iPad 'hack' conviction

mIRCat

Re: Speaks Volumes

"This was a hack," Assistant US Attorney Glenn Moramarco (inarticulately) argued. "He had to decrypt and decode, and do all of these things I don't even understand."

I may be a simple country lawyer, but this mega telecommunications company tells me this man was hacking their computers from the intertubes. Now if there's one thing I know about hacking, it's that this man is guilty of it!

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Battery vendors push ultracapacitor wrappers to give Li-ions more bite

mIRCat
Joke

Re: fire power

"I am slightly concerned that this device might be useful to a terrorist, i.e. the power surge which it needs to cope with being the power draw of a detonator on a bomb when its timer reaches zero. However, I guess they could buy a separate ultracapacitor, and wire it in parallel with a battery."

If ultracapacitors are outlawed, only outlaws will have ultracapacitors.

Definitely catchier than "If ultracapacitors are terrorised, only ultracapacitors will be terrorists."

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Tiny heat-sucker helps keep Moore's Law going

mIRCat
Headmaster

You only hear what you want to hear... now with more graphene!

"Researchers at the University of California, Riverside, have found that a single-atom-thick graphene coating"

I may be mistaken, but would it not have been sufficient to simply say "graphene"? Perhaps the copy meant 'a single-atom-thick graphite coating'.

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Ethical hacker backer hacked, warns of email ransack

mIRCat
Mushroom

The pool on the roof must have a leak.

Mess with the best, die lik... What? We've been hacked? My that is embarrassing.

It does beg the question why they wouldn't have kept their online presence more... in house?

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Brit Bitcoin dev: I lost 'over £200k' when MtGox popped its socks

mIRCat
Coat

Once you eliminate the impossible...

"Do you know anything about what happened at MtGox? Get in touch and let us know. ®"

The only logical inference is that the butler did it.

Looks like we'll be getting our own coats from here on.

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HTML is a sexually transmitted disease, say many Americans

mIRCat
Coat

Thus conclusively proving...

There should be a test to get on the internet.

Honestly officer, I know my license is in one of these pockets.

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US gov claims it spent TOO MUCH on wiretaps – and blames SPRINT

mIRCat
Black Helicopters

Overcharged to the tune of $21m.

What's that phrase about a fool and his money? Surely if Sprint were guilty of such an act the N.S.A. would have electronically intercepted any internal communique and have turned it over to their sister agencies before now. I guess all they heard was a pin drop

My my $21,000,000 is a pretty tune.

1
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How a Facebook post by blabbermouth daughter cost her parents $80,000

mIRCat
Paris Hilton

But how do we get her out of Florida?

"Gulliver's lawyer probably popped a bottle of champagne on seeing the post, and promptly went to court to block the $80,000 (£48,000) settlement. Now, after two years of legal wrangling, the Florida Third District Court of Appeal has found in favor of the school and young Dana won't be getting to swan around London, Paris, and Rome on the prep school's check book as planned."

And Europe is all the richer for it.

Paris 'cause... well the obvious.

2
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Chicago man lobs class-action sueball at MtGox

mIRCat
Coat

He was here a moment ago.

" it will be shielded from litigation while it restructures its business. ®"

Restructures or makes off with the funds?

Would you trust Mt Gox and ham? Would you trust it like a fox? Would you trust it with your box?

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Frenchman eyes ocean domination with floating, mobile Bond villain lair

mIRCat
Coat

And it keeps on ticking.®

"Agreeably, Rolex is also on the list, one-time supplier of essential kit to the man who will eventually have to storm and sink the behemoth. ®"

Unfortunately due to budget constraints for fiscal year 2013 Mr. Bond will be limited to the new Q-provided Timex wrist watch.

"You see Bond, if you press this button it becomes a stop watch. "

15
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Blink once to turn right: Samsung asks software dev Teleca to talk Tizen

mIRCat
Linux

Life! Don't talk to me about life.

"I wish I had Genuine People Personalities."

Here's another one of those self-satisfied cars.

Tizen: "The point is that I am now a perfectly safe penguin, and my colleague here is rapidly running out of limbs!"

1
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T-Mobile US: Our dump-your-network drive is doing SO WELL (PS: We lost $20m last quarter)

mIRCat
Megaphone

#Hashtag

It makes one wonder if John's use of hastags are as prevalent in his offline life as they seem to be in his online one. Poor John shouting his way through board meetings, proceeding random utterances with the word hashtag. Or maybe just poor those who have to listen to him.

#itsajoke #haveasenseofhumour

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MtGox boss vows to keep going despite $429 MILLION Bitcoin 'theft'

mIRCat
Coat

Don't concern your self with the flimflam get on with the shim sham... all the way to the bank!

"Have you lost any money in the Mt. Gox collapse? Get in touch and let us know. ®"

Certainly not! I keep all my crypto-currency under my mattress. The only place I feel is safe now days.

Leave those other suckers to be hoodwinked, scammed, bamboozled, goxxed, and fleeced by the likes of Mr. Pon Karpeles.

1
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Harvard student thrown off 14,000-core super ... for mining Dogecoin

mIRCat
Coat

A++?

Extra credit, innit?

2
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Mozilla takes a page from Google with sync-friendly Firefox Accounts

mIRCat
Coat

"Here at Vulture Annex, we tend to think it just looks more like Chrome."

Are you fecking kidding me? After 13 years the interface is one of the last things keeping using the Mozilla browser. After breaking compatibility with any add-on or themes I actually found useful with every update, followed by their new obsession with releasing a new version every six weeks, other commentards may be right about it being time to switch to a new browser.

Since they introduced the whole sync "feature", I've felt they should offer the option of pointing the tool at a server of your choosing. Sure it may be for advanced users, but I'd find it more useful to have the files installed somewhere I control and trust than any outside party.

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Apple and Samsung STILL in bitchfight over banning ancient mobes

mIRCat
Pint

Siri: I'm sorry I don't understand the request.

Siri, talk some bloody sense into these people.

We're doomed. Have a pint.

1
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Sprint to buy T-Mobile US? Not so fast, says antitrust official

mIRCat
Coat

Re: Huh?

" the better odds someone will upset the apple cart."

Two comments in and someone has already mentioned Apple!

The carries don't want to upset Apple... well, because you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

I'll get my coat.

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NatWest 'spam' email cockup got me slapped with late payment fee, says angry Reg reader

mIRCat
Facepalm

Obviously.

"NatWest, though, was unable to respond beyond saying it does not use nor know what SPF is."

TFTFY.

My emphasis.

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Google patents ROBO-TAXIS to ferry punters into advertiser's shops, restaurants, etc for free

mIRCat
Coat

Stop me if this sounds familiar.

In Soviet Google, advertisers dr...

What do you mean you've heard it before?

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