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* Posts by mIRCat

278 posts • joined 17 Aug 2012

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Mad Raspberry Pi boffins ripped out its BRAINS and SHRANK them for your pleasure

mIRCat
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Coat

Is that a PC in your pock or are you just happy to see me?

"on a 67.5mm-by-30mm board that can be slotted into a standard DDR2 SO-DIMM connector."

Holy miniaturization Batman!

Nope it's just a computer.

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Too late, Blighty! Samsung boffins claim breakthrough graphene manufacturing success

mIRCat
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Coat

Re: The real difference

"I'm not going to mention rectangle/rounded/corner because, frankly, that's such a tired meme & anyone posting a reference to it now, or in the future, should just be null routed."

I'm not going to point out you just contradicted your own statement, but... well crap.

On the upside Samsung can offer to license the product to Apple for a billion dollars.

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mIRCat
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Boffin

Boffins

"wafer-scale growth of wrinkle-free single-crystal monolayer graphene on silicon wafer using a hydrogen-terminated germanium buffer layer."

When put like that, it's a bit obvious innit?

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White House blasts Samsung for tweeting Obama-Ortiz selfie

mIRCat
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Big Brother

Bad press not included...

"… And we certainly object in this case," he said.

More of a fanboy, huh?

Silly Korean company thinking it can make a profit off of the P.O.T.U.S.! Buy 'Merkan!

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Dish and DirecTV deal: Damned if they merge, damned if they don't

mIRCat
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Paris Hilton

When in doubt, screw the customer!

"All of which would create carnage in content purchasing, broadband concentration and media reach."

You forgot the part about the consumer getting screwed.

Paris... natch.

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US Supreme Court Justices hear arguments in game-changing software IP case

mIRCat
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Coat

Re: All software is math

"Deep down, everything can be seen as math."

Is this another one of those my mom jokes?

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Facebook swallows Oculus VR goggle-geeks. Did that really happen?

mIRCat
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Spend the dosh! Eye candy buffet, no free nosh, bitches!

Someone should have told Zuckerboy if he'd waited he could have grabbed a pair of goggles for a couple hundred quid.

On the upside this will save me from having to splash the cash on my own set of them.

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BOYCOTT FIREFOX, rage gay devs as Mozilla appoints JavaScript daddy as CEO

mIRCat
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Coat

Hey, barman! Please call me a taxi.

"Why did Rosa Parks only boycott buses?"

Sounds like somebody held an interest in a shoe repair business.

Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

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'Weev' attempts to overturn AT&T iPad 'hack' conviction

mIRCat
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Re: Speaks Volumes

"This was a hack," Assistant US Attorney Glenn Moramarco (inarticulately) argued. "He had to decrypt and decode, and do all of these things I don't even understand."

I may be a simple country lawyer, but this mega telecommunications company tells me this man was hacking their computers from the intertubes. Now if there's one thing I know about hacking, it's that this man is guilty of it!

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Battery vendors push ultracapacitor wrappers to give Li-ions more bite

mIRCat
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Joke

Re: fire power

"I am slightly concerned that this device might be useful to a terrorist, i.e. the power surge which it needs to cope with being the power draw of a detonator on a bomb when its timer reaches zero. However, I guess they could buy a separate ultracapacitor, and wire it in parallel with a battery."

If ultracapacitors are outlawed, only outlaws will have ultracapacitors.

Definitely catchier than "If ultracapacitors are terrorised, only ultracapacitors will be terrorists."

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Tiny heat-sucker helps keep Moore's Law going

mIRCat
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Headmaster

You only hear what you want to hear... now with more graphene!

"Researchers at the University of California, Riverside, have found that a single-atom-thick graphene coating"

I may be mistaken, but would it not have been sufficient to simply say "graphene"? Perhaps the copy meant 'a single-atom-thick graphite coating'.

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Ethical hacker backer hacked, warns of email ransack

mIRCat
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Mushroom

The pool on the roof must have a leak.

Mess with the best, die lik... What? We've been hacked? My that is embarrassing.

It does beg the question why they wouldn't have kept their online presence more... in house?

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Brit Bitcoin dev: I lost 'over £200k' when MtGox popped its socks

mIRCat
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Coat

Once you eliminate the impossible...

"Do you know anything about what happened at MtGox? Get in touch and let us know. ®"

The only logical inference is that the butler did it.

Looks like we'll be getting our own coats from here on.

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HTML is a sexually transmitted disease, say many Americans

mIRCat
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Coat

Thus conclusively proving...

There should be a test to get on the internet.

Honestly officer, I know my license is in one of these pockets.

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US gov claims it spent TOO MUCH on wiretaps – and blames SPRINT

mIRCat
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Black Helicopters

Overcharged to the tune of $21m.

What's that phrase about a fool and his money? Surely if Sprint were guilty of such an act the N.S.A. would have electronically intercepted any internal communique and have turned it over to their sister agencies before now. I guess all they heard was a pin drop

My my $21,000,000 is a pretty tune.

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How a Facebook post by blabbermouth daughter cost her parents $80,000

mIRCat
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Paris Hilton

But how do we get her out of Florida?

"Gulliver's lawyer probably popped a bottle of champagne on seeing the post, and promptly went to court to block the $80,000 (£48,000) settlement. Now, after two years of legal wrangling, the Florida Third District Court of Appeal has found in favor of the school and young Dana won't be getting to swan around London, Paris, and Rome on the prep school's check book as planned."

And Europe is all the richer for it.

Paris 'cause... well the obvious.

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Chicago man lobs class-action sueball at MtGox

mIRCat
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Coat

He was here a moment ago.

" it will be shielded from litigation while it restructures its business. ®"

Restructures or makes off with the funds?

Would you trust Mt Gox and ham? Would you trust it like a fox? Would you trust it with your box?

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Frenchman eyes ocean domination with floating, mobile Bond villain lair

mIRCat
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Coat

And it keeps on ticking.®

"Agreeably, Rolex is also on the list, one-time supplier of essential kit to the man who will eventually have to storm and sink the behemoth. ®"

Unfortunately due to budget constraints for fiscal year 2013 Mr. Bond will be limited to the new Q-provided Timex wrist watch.

"You see Bond, if you press this button it becomes a stop watch. "

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Blink once to turn right: Samsung asks software dev Teleca to talk Tizen

mIRCat
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Linux

Life! Don't talk to me about life.

"I wish I had Genuine People Personalities."

Here's another one of those self-satisfied cars.

Tizen: "The point is that I am now a perfectly safe penguin, and my colleague here is rapidly running out of limbs!"

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T-Mobile US: Our dump-your-network drive is doing SO WELL (PS: We lost $20m last quarter)

mIRCat
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Megaphone

#Hashtag

It makes one wonder if John's use of hastags are as prevalent in his offline life as they seem to be in his online one. Poor John shouting his way through board meetings, proceeding random utterances with the word hashtag. Or maybe just poor those who have to listen to him.

#itsajoke #haveasenseofhumour

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MtGox boss vows to keep going despite $429 MILLION Bitcoin 'theft'

mIRCat
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Coat

Don't concern your self with the flimflam get on with the shim sham... all the way to the bank!

"Have you lost any money in the Mt. Gox collapse? Get in touch and let us know. ®"

Certainly not! I keep all my crypto-currency under my mattress. The only place I feel is safe now days.

Leave those other suckers to be hoodwinked, scammed, bamboozled, goxxed, and fleeced by the likes of Mr. Pon Karpeles.

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Harvard student thrown off 14,000-core super ... for mining Dogecoin

mIRCat
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Coat

A++?

Extra credit, innit?

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Mozilla takes a page from Google with sync-friendly Firefox Accounts

mIRCat
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Coat

"Here at Vulture Annex, we tend to think it just looks more like Chrome."

Are you fecking kidding me? After 13 years the interface is one of the last things keeping using the Mozilla browser. After breaking compatibility with any add-on or themes I actually found useful with every update, followed by their new obsession with releasing a new version every six weeks, other commentards may be right about it being time to switch to a new browser.

Since they introduced the whole sync "feature", I've felt they should offer the option of pointing the tool at a server of your choosing. Sure it may be for advanced users, but I'd find it more useful to have the files installed somewhere I control and trust than any outside party.

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Apple and Samsung STILL in bitchfight over banning ancient mobes

mIRCat
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Pint

Siri: I'm sorry I don't understand the request.

Siri, talk some bloody sense into these people.

We're doomed. Have a pint.

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Sprint to buy T-Mobile US? Not so fast, says antitrust official

mIRCat
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Coat

Re: Huh?

" the better odds someone will upset the apple cart."

Two comments in and someone has already mentioned Apple!

The carries don't want to upset Apple... well, because you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

I'll get my coat.

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NatWest 'spam' email cockup got me slapped with late payment fee, says angry Reg reader

mIRCat
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Facepalm

Obviously.

"NatWest, though, was unable to respond beyond saying it does not use nor know what SPF is."

TFTFY.

My emphasis.

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Google patents ROBO-TAXIS to ferry punters into advertiser's shops, restaurants, etc for free

mIRCat
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Coat

Stop me if this sounds familiar.

In Soviet Google, advertisers dr...

What do you mean you've heard it before?

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Is Google building SKYNET? Ad kingpin buys AI firm DeepMind

mIRCat
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Terminator

At least they won't sound like Siri

"The robot division is being headed up by Andy Rubin, who used to run the Android business."

I guess that's one way to beat Apple.

Your clothes... give them to me, now.

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Ancient video of Steve Jobs launching the first Apple Mac found

mIRCat
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Big Brother

By the time you read this post it will already be considered ancient.

Take it up with the OED.

Ancient:

adjective

belonging to the very distant past and no longer in existence.

In the computer world the Macintosh may well be considered ancient. It's definitely a relic of the past.

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Anatomy of a 22-year-old X Window bug: Get root with newly uncovered flaw

mIRCat
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Linux

That's where we left it.

It wasn't found sooner because someone forgot...

//Leaving bug here.

Comment your code, peoples.

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Google gearing up for 4K video frenzy at CES

mIRCat
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Pint

Pi on their face?

Will my RPi support it? That's what I want to know.

Until it does I'll ARM myself with a pint.

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Google BLASTS BACK at Apple, Microsoft, Sony in Android patent WAR

mIRCat
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Pint

Aim for the stars!

Maybe the jury will find that the Google hasn't violated the patents, making them worthless to RockStar. Once they realize they can't monetize the IP they'll slag it off to Google for pennies on the dollar. Then the world can live happily ever after.

Or the lawyers will continue to be lawyers and we'll see RockStar drag out these desperate patent cases for years.

Either way I'll be at the bar having a pint.

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Eggheads give two robots vodka and tell them to text each other FOR SCIENCE

mIRCat
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Pint

Shaken and stirred.

Oi! I didn't order mine with an olive!

Pint - Hopefully the wife doesn't notice my alcohol content.

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Meet NASA's Valkyrie: A SILKY BUSTY ROBO-MINX that'll save your life

mIRCat
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Terminator

Remember NO means NO.

It will give a whole new meaning to "Sorry I can't do that, Dave."

I will still be waiting for our future sexbot overlords.

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Apple's 'Smart Dock' patent filing makes Siri your new roommate

mIRCat
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Coat

They forgot to mention...

Device may include, but not be limited to the inclusion of the kitchen sink.

Just throwing as many words/ ideas in there to make a patent novel seems to be a trend these days.

My coats the one with the kitchen sink; patent pending.

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Exciting new BRAZILIAN PUSSY FINGERED by overjoyed boffins

mIRCat
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Paris Hilton

"*Different from, but about the same size as, a normal household pussy."

This is perhaps the most important detail. The thing to remember about pussies is while they are roughly the same size, there is a distinction between the one you have at home and the ones found in the wild.

Please be safe when interacting with ones you're unfamiliar with. They're called wild for a reason.

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Microsoft hires Pawn Stars to shaft Google

mIRCat
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Windows

Two birds; one stone!

Marketing like this sums up why I don't use Microsoft products or regularly view 'reality' television in my personal life.

Microsoft, behaving like we should forget you settled with the DOJ over your monopolistic business practices, and ended up with a slap on the wrist, just because it was over a decade ago comes off as hypocritical, self-serving, and disingenuous. Also hiring reality 'tv stars' to sling mud on your competitors and push your products reeks of pandering to the lowest common denominator. You could always look into hiring a new advertising company.

That being said, I don't expect a tiger to change it's stripes.

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Lead ONTO your pencil: Bill Gates pours cash into graphene condoms

mIRCat
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Coat

Just another reason...

That new graphene stuff really is Johnny on the spot.

Er.. that is, you know.

Coat for obvious reasons.

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XBOX ONE ROUNDUP-of-the-ROUNDUPS: Everything YOU need to know

mIRCat
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Joke

The tough questions.

None of this answers the question we've all been asking. Does it play PS3 games?

What do you mean that's not a killer feature?

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Dark HEAVY METAL star fires up jets, vomits hot ROCK into space

mIRCat
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Coat

Re: nickel-56, amirite?

"but why does it jet out like that?"

Maybe it couldn't afford to pay it's bill.

I know I left my wallet in here somewhere.

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'F-CK YOU GOOGLE+' ukelele missy scoops BIG WAD of $$ - for Google

mIRCat
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Coat

Wait, wot?

What do you mean I have to sign into Google+ to sign the petition?

I know I've got a pen here somewhere.

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Wayback Machine hardware up in FLAMES (but interwebs' DeLorean WAS backed up)

mIRCat
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Coat

It's just a bloody shame.

Imagine all of those hours wasted, wasted I say, digitizing all of that porn.

Well the internet isn't for coats.

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Watch out, MARTIANS: 1.3 tonne INDIAN ROBOT is on its way

mIRCat
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Boffin

How to serve Martians?

"some observers are surprised that a country with such visible problems with poverty would spend its dosh on sending a probe to Mars. ®"

Darling, would you get out the good silver? We're having that new Martian couple over for dinner.

Boffins may finally have the answer to if they really do taste like chicken.

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Mars defends: HUMANS to SEND UFO to Red Planet by 2016

mIRCat
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Alien

"mankind will have started its first offworld colony by building a community on Mars made up entirely of reality TV stars."

Ah, so that's how the Martians come to the conclusion there is no intelligent life on Earth.

Let me be the first to welcome our reality TV watching alien overlords.

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Linus Torvalds seeks REDEMPTION for every coded SIN

mIRCat
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Linux

Re: Woodland Creature?

"What am I missing?!"

You forgot Sassy Squirrel or Ridiculous Raccoon.

There ain't no Tux in the woods.

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Want to go to billionaire Sun kingpin's beach? Hope you're a strong swimmer

mIRCat
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Coat

What if there's a naked girl on the beach?

Meanwhile... somewhere in Vermont.

Obviously, you get her a coat.

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NASA, start your torrents: 622 Mbps broadband link FOUND ON MOON

mIRCat
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Pint

Avoiding long distance charges?

Is it too late to get Voyager back to retrofit it's communication systems?

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Netflix original TV shows gamble pays off... to the tune of 10m new viewers

mIRCat
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Coat

Shiny!

Wait, is that a thing? Can we do that?

Mine's the one with the Captain Mal action figure in the pocket.

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Murdoch calls for world+dog to 'expose' Google

mIRCat
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Pint

Re: there's a quote about motes and beams .. If only I could remember ,,,

"Like in the UK right now."

On second thought, let's not go there. 'Tis a silly place.

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Wikileaks FAILS to start Twitter bitchfight with Guardian hack

mIRCat
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Coat

One sided tweeters

Does that make them twats?

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