Those poor innocent profits..
Won't somebody think of the profits!?
356 posts • joined 17 Aug 2012
Won't somebody think of the profits!?
"it is reasonably possible that we could decide to end production of the 747.” - SEC filing
That'll do pig, that'll do.
"With the assistance of leading experts we have taken and are continuing to take steps to enhance the security of our network in the face of these recent events." - DCCC
All of the horses are gone? Somebody fetch me my bolt!
Securing what's already been take is the elementary part, my dear friends.
"Verizon plans to begin offering the first business services based on the new networks next year, with residential services to follow."
Ready just in time for them to flog it off to someone else for a pretty penny?
If their revenues continue to fall they'll be able to report them within the 140 character limit.
"logged a net loss of $302m as it continues a campaign to rebuild its business model."
Would that explain why my PCS phone hasn't gotten a phone call in months?
"there’s no Magic Internet Pixie" - Andrew Orlowski
Your disbelief has been noted. Please report to the Office of Fantastical Re-education at our earliest convenience.
Coats will be provided.
"The group said that within the package were printouts of each complaint"
The only ones harmed by this stunt were the unsuspecting trees used to make the paper for those 100,000 print outs.
On the other hand no lobbyists were harmed in the pulling of this. Next time save a tree print your complaint on a lobbyist.
Bad form sir! Bad form I say!
And your TLS requests be malformed.
I just finished reading through Brennan's private emails and it's clear the man doesn't have a clue about encryption. If the head of a security organization can't form a coherent idea on the topic, I don't expect anyone will actual place any value on his opinions.
If those are 'copters I hear outside, we'll know that reading his work emails may have been a step too far.
"In classic disruptive fashion, the Raspberry Pi has already taken a significant share of the education PC market with over 8 million devices shipped," - Chris Fleck
To be fair about fifteen of those are scattered around my house. I don't know what I'll do with all of them, but they're so cheap that every time they release a new version I grab a couple.
I know I left one in one of these pockets.
"22 acres of polyethylene film – similar to a sandwich bag" TheReg
I'm sorry, I'll need that in official Register units please. Either NanoWales or football pitch are acceptable.
"I smell a con job." Mark 85
Did you mean cron job? It was a Linux server after all.
Good on him! Someone buy the man a pint!
Let me be the first to wel... Oh, they're already here? Let me fetch my coat then.
You beat me to that comment.
You can't plug that in here, YOU'LL CRASH THE NETWORK! Repeat ad nauseum, Christmas Story style.
Paris.. Something about shooting her eye out.
Try explaining that rash to the missus.
Mines the one with extra protection in the pocket.
Goodbye sir. So long and thanks for all the Debians.
"Regardless, senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), who chairs the US Senate Intelligence Committee, went on TV and said..."
Perhaps if they focused on Human Intelligence instead of worrying about SIGINT there would be one less reason to question the collective intelligence of their committees. Terrifyingly it is not only in Washington where they lack intelligence.
"Look, if you you're too fucking stupid to search with Google, then maybe you balls deserve that kind of treatment.
Dropbox/OneDrive/Google Drive is what you are looking for." - Anon
Sure that wouldn't make it more difficult than it needs to be. I mean the Internet makes everything easier. Even transferring files between local devices. Twenty years on and I still email myself files.
"I want a machine to behave like a machine which means that the controls stay where I expect them to be. Am I in a minority here? " - leon clarke
Our future machine overlords will not be pleased with comments like this.
Let me be the first to say I am happy to accept whatever changes our machine overlords deem necessary.
"The terms the Commission is reviewing are commonplace in most commercial contracts, and in fact are being used by our competitors in their own contracts," AT&T vice-president of federal regulator Frank Simone
Now Frankie, if all of your little friends were jumping off bridges do you think your mother and I would let you jump too?
"Pretty sure experiments like this have been done before, but the real breakthrough is...
using the internet. " - Triboolean
If they could find a way to package it all into a mobile phone, I'm sure that they would be granted a patent on the novelty of the idea.
Mine is the one with a device that allows direct communication with other people and still fits in a pocket.
Are we going to have boffins popping by to see if we've got a spot of isotope laying around?
Can it be used to deliver packages any quicker?
Okay I lied, it was another penis joke. Prime... for her pleasure.
The future is now! Or will be around shortly.
Where'd I leave all my spare SD cards?
Only another fifty or hundred trillion years left? Honestly, what's the point? I think I'll stay in bed today.
"The first ten million years were the worst. And the second ten million: they were the worst, too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that, I went into a bit of a decline."
Monthly caps top out at five gigabytes.
"Youtube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and LiveJournal are all in the nation's top 25".
I guess it may be time I knock the dust off my LiveJournal. I've never had a YouTube, Twatter, or Instagram account and I deactivated the FaceBook over a year ago.
What's Russian for, "Will you marry me for citizenship?"
I was the recipient of strange looks every time I asked if it was the first of April, but I knew there were hijinks afoot!
I was waiting for a characteristically Reg punchline until nearly half way through. The entire article has a first of April feel that I still cannot shake.
Obviously the joke went over my head.
"With this latest move, Google+ will now be put in a position to sink and swim once and for all. Without other services feeding users into its ranks, Google+ will have to establish itself as a social network in its own right."
It is time for Google+ to move into the niche it was created to fill. The social media platform for people whom post photos of what their cats are eating for dinner.
Which one of you left this tuna in my coat?
"Using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA), our team has now successfully removed the all posts related to this incident as well as all Personally Identifiable Information (PII) about our users published online," ALN said in a statement.
Because that's exactly how the internet works.
Any one with children knows that you don't negotiate on the promises of good behavior. Even if they managed to cooperate for a full year previous I'd find myself leery of making any form of agreement with them.
But we can't forget the Golden Rule.
"Representatives of each of these companies have invented some of the most revolutionary communications products ever created"
I didn't know horrible customer service could be labeled as a product.
I guess that is the joke.
Bless his little heart.
Anyone of the mind to start an Indiegogo to get the poor bloke a haircut? Any left over dosh goes to the FSF of course.
"pontuficating"? - Queasy Rider
No bridge building here, please.
"Ice fairs like in the 1600s could return to the Thames - probably year round." - DougS
Do you want to get wolves? Because that's how we get wolves.
More money and less privacy, where can I sign up?
"(And a series of tubes...)" - malle-herbert
Your idea has merit. We just need an infrastructure of interconnected tubes.
Mr Hood has left the Attorney General's office and accepted a new position in D.C. as an external consultant/lobbyist for the M.P.A.A.
Tune in at 5, 7, and 10 for other facts that won't surprise you.
Artist's rendition or it didn't happen.
"Ultimately, one day, a printer may even be able to print another printer."
Have the boffins learned nothing!?
Can I finally expect an update to my e815?
Still the best phone I've ever owned.
"And for those wondering what the actual IXV space-plane looks like, I found this"
Yeah? Where's the rest of it?
Bit early in the week to be pedantic, but have a pint on me.
And the children of course. The moment young Master Bruce starts drawing bats in his "dark doodles" I think I may call it quits on the series. As it is I worry about how early they're trying to cram everything in instead of carefully drawing things out and giving fans clues along the way. Why give a subtle nod and a wink when a nod and a shout will do, right?
As for children being poor pickpockets, perhaps you should reread Oliver Twist. A young crim with cat-like reflexes shouldn't have to break a sweat performing her craft.
“adequate performance gets a generous severance package.”
I'll take one of those, please.
He's an idiot.