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* Posts by Simon B

540 posts • joined 26 Jun 2007

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Password manager LastPass goes titsup: Users LOCKED OUT

Simon B

spokesperson Amber Gott “We have been engaged with our provider the entire time ..."

And to finish that dsentence for Amber:

Meanwhile, we have been completely UNengaged with our entire customer base the entire time.

Why do so many providers of services find it so difficult to say ASAP 'we have a problem, we're looking into it'.

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NeoPost: This is how you DON'T do PIN security

Simon B
Mushroom

Thank your lucky stars you didn't choose PITNEY BOWES !!

Putting account on stop for non payment (ummm, you remember that direct debit you filled in? we chose not to use it),

Charging the incorrect amount for topping up, EVERY time after a constant YEAR of telling us OVER and OVER and telling you OOPS sorry we'll fix that, EVERY time (yawn),

Charging £59.95 EVERY time royal mail changes their rates (it's expensive downloading a small file down the phone line containing a few humbers you know!).

Low battery on your machine? How to change the battery ... Here, have a REFURBISHED MACHINE, now box and drag the old machine to the post office so we can have it back. Changing a battery is extremely difficult and requires great expertise, a simple coin battery holder in a slide out drawer was not designed into the machine to save the user this extremely complicated task .... oh dear, we're billing the incorrect amount for topping up since you have a machine with a different serial number now, silly us!! (yes, really!!)

Make sure you have the right account number, is it the one for the monthly DD, the one for topping up, or the purcashe power one? We have 3 account numbers because ... well, because we're clever! Be silly to hsve one account number related to your one account.

I'll end it there, safe to say PITney bowes ARE the PITs. Roll on renewal time!

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Apple: We'll tailor Swift to be a fast new programming language

Simon B
Devil

As usual, trademarks only apply to Apple. Do as we the gods say , whilst we do the complete opposite. Twats.

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Google TOO WHITE and MALE, says HR boss, looking in mirror

Simon B
Coat

In a nutshell, the future is:

Sorry, we can't hire you, you're white and we have a target to employ more black.

THAT is racist.

and

Knitting company gets fined cus no0t enouigh men are being hired.

MAYBE, there are more men because it's m ore men that enjoy I.T. type stuff, same. It's just genetics, no not a fixed marker but boys do like their toys!

STOP looking and saying ooooh not enough diuversity here, try looking WHY, just maybe it's jack to do with race/age/colour and more about certain jobs attract certain people!

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Symantec: Antivirus is 'DEAD' – no longer 'a moneymaker'

Simon B

Its not dead, it's just that they are so sh!*** at doing AV products that everyone with half a brain cell or more avoids their useless bloatware. End rant, lol

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Feast your PUNY eyes on highest resolution phone display EVER

Simon B
FAIL

Increasing battery life would be 1000 times more useful than an increased resolution -rolls eyes-

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Alphadex fires back at British Gas with overcharging allegation

Simon B

BG

BG - British Gas? From my experience more like Bloody Gormless!!!

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Bendy or barmy: Why your next TV will be curved

Simon B

Drop the curve and concentrate on better viewing angles. I sit in 'Granny's' spot,and a curve would take my view from being more washed out to ooooh nice rear of the tv!

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Tokyo to TXT warning of incoming Norks nukes

Simon B

Just launch the missile on 31st dec at 23:59:50 and watchall chaos ensue as everyone is texting happy new year, at the same time this system is texing everyone teling them a missile is en route :D You might get the warning about 8am pmsl

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iFixit boss: Apple has 'done everything it can to put repair guys out of business'

Simon B

"iPads are difficult to disassemble on purpose, the Surface Pro is impossible to take apart because Microsoft is incompetent."

That's my favourite piece! I'm not an Apple fan, but that's a cracking statement, well it made me smile :D

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Tor Project claims 'fake' Tor Browser sat in iOS App Store for months

Simon B

As usual, the God otherwise known as apple stick 2 fingers up at it's users and those developing apps for Gods software. They've got their cut so they couldn't care less.

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Fee fie Firefox: Mozilla's lawyers probe Dell over browser install charge

Simon B

Just realised something ... Mircosoft was ORDERED to ASK the user what browser they wanted to use and provide a list. This was a legal requirement. So for me microsoft ask me what browser i want to use when i first turn on my new computer. had a bought a DELL computer then they decided not to let microsoft ask the question for free, and instead CHARGE you for doing it!!! What next Dell? asking if you want to install at a different resolution and charging for it? charging for what time zone i want to use in windows??

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Simon B

On computers first boot up: DO YOU WISH TO USE FIREFOX YES/NO. Simple startup question to run on first bootup. WTF do you need a PERSON to install it for you!

As for a different image ... windows itself asks what country you are in, what keyboard,etc, microsfot don't have hundreds of images for each country so why would Dell need a new image when a simple question 'Install Yes/No' would suffice! At worst you hae ONE image with the options for the engineer to choose. Hmmm, how much should one charge for pressing ONE button to choose Firefox as apposed to just IE ....

Sounds like a nice money making excercise to me :/

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Inside Facebook's engineering labs: Hardware heaven, HP hell – PICTURES

Simon B

I actually like what FB are doing, and should be commended for allowing their staff to be creative and find solutions to problems without having to have degree's in who knows what and somehow get through to someone at the top of the top of the chain. Encouraging staff to FIND and create a better system for them is great for them and at the same time a real boost for staff when their idea becomes used and is successful. Well done FB, a lot of respect earnt by me for this .

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Delhi police forget passwords to corruption portal, ignore 600 crimes

Simon B

The Delhi police doing jack for 8 years is absymally awful, but India’s anti-corruption agency is even worse for not folliwng ANYTHING up!

Does nobody get audited? are there no performance figures? i.e. Number of complaints 600, percent resolved 0%, in progress 0%, outstanding 100%

Police efficiency 0.1% (well, they must do SOMETHING I assume, other than play minesweeper all day)

How on earth can nobody notice for 8 years that jack had a successful outcome/investigation and there were 0 arrests. And I thought the UK police were useless!

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Eurocops want to build remote car-stopper, shared sensor network

Simon B

Most modern cars have LIMP mode built into the engine management system which restricts speed/revs if it detects a fault. By taking this a step further, the system could also have stop mode where it gradualy reduces 'limp' speed until eventaully the car stalls and stops at 0 mph. This brings the car to a steady and controlled stop AND keeps the engine running to allow power steering to function etc. The big thing is ensuring the security IS tight so a remote hack in couldn't reverse it and start the worlds car speeding up at random.

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REVEALED: How YOU PAY extra for iPHONES - even if you DON'T HAVE ONE

Simon B

All the operators should talk and agree NOT to buy any. This way NONE of them will get shafted into making losses, and force Apple to change their ways from I am God, to I am a mere mortal.

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KILL SWITCH 'BLOCKED by cell operators' to pad PROFITS, thunders D.A.

Simon B
Flame

Hi mr Telco, my phone has been stolen ... there's a £1000 bill racked up? well that's your fecking problem. I tried to protrect myself the consumer but you money grabbing bstards prevent us from installing anti-theft remote "kill switch" software So YOU can pay the damn bill. If yuo wont let a consumer protect himself from theft then YOU can deal with the fecking consequences! Money grabbing twats.

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Steve Wozniak: 'I wish to God that Apple and Google were partners'

Simon B

Do you think Apple will shares it's rounded corners? nope it'll sue your ass!

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Digital radio may replace FM altogether - even though nobody wants it

Simon B

DAB just does not have the power. Try walking with it and see how far you get before you lose the signal. It's crap!

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Alarming tales: What goes on INSIDE Reg hack's hi-tech bedroom

Simon B

I just enjoyed the article, it made me smile :)

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Do you trust your waiter? Hacked bank-card reader TEXTS your info to crims

Simon B

I don't go abroad, I don't want the mag stripe. It's a compromise I'd be willing to accept, just give me the option mr BANK!!

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Confirmed by cockup: New iPhones will be named 5S and 5C

Simon B
Trollface

iPhones will be named 5Shite and 5Crap

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Windows 8.1 to freeze out small business apps

Simon B

Windows gets shitter by the day. Win Xp was good, 7 was better, and 8 they just can't be arsed anymore so wrote a piece of shite that only fits what they want, a tandy kids computer knock off that looks pretty but good for nothing.

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Women in IT: ‘If you want to be taken seriously, dress like a man’

Simon B

An enjoyable and well written article, and an interesting read :) Well done on breaking the views of others and being yourself! :)

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Nasty BOFHses. It burns us! It burns...

Simon B

Brilliant BOFH and not what I was expecting, very cleverly done :D We salute you great BOFH!

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What Surface RT flop? Nokia said to be readying WinRT slab for September

Simon B

Bangs head against wall. Take a look around you Nokia., they aren't selling, nobody likes the winRT slabs, jeesh wake up!

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Virgin Media signs 3-year telly deal with BT Sport

Simon B
Stop

Re: Not just football

BT Sport have also taken Moto GP away, and is going to make THAT something only viewable by those wishing to go from free to watch on the bbc to giveusyourmoneynow BT Sports!

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Nokia tears wrapper off Lumia 1020 monster imaging mobe

Simon B

Nice phone from Nokia, again, but again it's the microsoft O/S. The O/S puts me off every time, I want android on that phone, something that's not gonna happen. Locking into the O/S was a bad move, locked to 1 when they could potentially have appealed to both? Just my thoughts.

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Ex-inmate at Chinese prison: We made airline headsets

Simon B
WTF?

Doing a better job than England where prisoners get an Xbox, 3 square meals and sky tv etc!!

Kiwi Cancain, who said he'd been serving time for manslaughter, told the paper the 70+ hours per week he was forced to work left him with arthritis in his hand and shoulder.

"It’s a very cruel environment. You wake up every morning wondering if you are going to survive the day,”

Awww poor you, how about those who wake up every morning wondering how they are going to survive the day becasue you killed their loved one?!!! No sympathy from me mister killer.

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Cultivated dope-smoking Welshman barred from own shed

Simon B
FAIL

buy a new shed, no court order banning him from THAT SHED!

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BOFH: Go on, beancounter, type DROP TABLE asset;

Simon B
Thumb Up

Fan'kin'tastic!

Thoroughly enjoyed that one :) Welcome back oh BOFH overlord :)

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UK.gov blows a fuse at smart meter stall, sets new 2020 deadline

Simon B
Devil

Mine is the smart meter in a lead lined box (or whatever i need to stop signals coming in and going out) :D

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Microsoft honcho pleads with media: 'Stop picking on us!'

Simon B
WTF?

Maybe if microsoft had listening from day 1 and not released something most people hated and found Impractical, people wouldn't be 'picking on them'!!

I read enough from tests and prereleases etc to know to avoid it long before it was released, they chose not to listen, so why moan?

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Speaking in Tech: Explicit vid reveals hot tech stars in LIVE STRIP SHOW

This post has been deleted by a moderator

No M&S vouchers for CSC staff as awards scrapped to save costs

Simon B
Facepalm

I once got recognised by a work colleague who put me in for a company recognition award. I got it, and got myself a cordless screwdriver!! Doesn't sound much, but the fact that someone took the time and effort to put me forward, and the fact that the company had this scheme and erwarded staff, has stayed with me for about the last 19 years! I've never forgot it, a small incentive like that goes a loooooooooong way, I donlt even work there now. So, David Wildblood if you're out there somewhere! You're the 'BOM' and thank you :)

p.s. Dave, my hair aint long anymore!

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Help us out here: What's the POINT of Microsoft Office 2013?

Simon B
Stop

We still run office XP on Win7 and still can see no reason to upgrade!

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Huddled immigrant masses face 'British values' quiz

Simon B
Mushroom

TWO rules, that would be all they need.

I have TWO rules, that would be all they need.

1. Get a (legit) job. Or fuck off.

2. Speak te language. Or fuck off.

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Obama calls for study into games ‘n’ guns link

Simon B
FAIL

They should look closer to home, like the fact they sell tools designed for nothing but to kill living beings to any tom dick or harry!

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NRA: Video games kill people, not guns. And here's our video game

Simon B
Mushroom

"Guns don't kill people" - In that case, can the idiot that said that load a gun, point it at yourself, pull the trigger and fire the weapon in to your forehead. Now, can you tell me how well you feel? Hello? hello? Oh, you're dead! How can that happen, guns don't kill people!! What a fucking moron.

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Smooth criminals spared the clink for hacking Sony's Jacko archive

Simon B
WTF?

Yet more shite justice, rob and get a slap on the wrist. Off to find a shop!!!!!!

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Amazon-bashed HMV calls in administrators, seeks buyer

Simon B
Mushroom

HMV are just robbing thieving bastards. They took peoples money at xmas when they KNEW they were going to do this.Wait till after Xmas, a common ploy, take people for a\s much money as they can at xmas then run off with it. BLATANT THEFT however you try to reword it

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The amazing magical LED: Has it really been fifty years already?

Simon B
FAIL

Last 50 times as long - do they bollox!

Not to forget they cost 20 times as much.

Shame.

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Apple loses iPhone patent lawsuit

Simon B
Happy

Love how Apple they say the patents are not invalid "due to obviousness", after they made a song and dame about a rectangle neimg their shape and property. PMSL I hope this is one of many eat Karma bitches that Apple receive.

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Linux kernel dumps 386 chip support

Simon B
Devil

Re: 386?

No, apple invented the rectangle ... ;)

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Review: Samsung Series 9 super slim notebook

Simon B
Coat

I'm too weak to resist! nobody has said is so sod it I'm going to!!

Only Apple is allowed to make rectangle laptops, it's Apples copyrighted Shape, Samsung should have maade a star shaped one. Let the sueing commence!!! Coat, peg, i'm going ..

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Troll sues Apple for daring to plug headphones into iPhone

Simon B
Devil

if Apple can patent a rectangle then curved corners AND have it allowed, then I hope thet get nailed by someone elses pathetic patent.

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German city dumping OpenOffice for Microsoft

Simon B
Pirate

Can't wait for them to use Office 2013 and go WTF is this?!! IT looks nowt like Office 2000 !! and then realise they prefer Open Office, maybe :)

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Texan schoolgirl expelled for refusing to wear RFID tag

Simon B
WTF?

followers of the Beast receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads. Then the silly bint should have used her left hand instead if she was THAT bothered, of blaming religious beliefs.

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