My variant on the 'I only do Macs' theme

If asked to help with someone's home set up I reply that my job is supporting an 8 node Oracle Exadata cluster which tends to kill the convo dead as they realise that they have absolutely no idea what that means. It's also true but not the complete truth as there are various peripherals involved but we just don't get to go there.

Easy solution. Use TPS - it's free and will stop the 'legit' telesales dross. Second layer of defence is *all* incoming calls go to an answerphone (unless we are expecting a call within a few minutes). It's surprising how many calls terminate as soon as the message cuts it. Legitimate calls either quote the password (Hello it's me...) or leave a message and once I've heard "Hi it's x from whatever" as if by magic we answer the call. It's worked really well for us for over 20 years.

Good Times

Lotus 1-2-3 was my first introduction to the world of spreadsheets. I used it to automate a quarterly task that took ten man days every quarter to do via 'back of fag packet' calculation & was never right. I'm still really proud of what I created - self taught with only the manual to help me. I'll always have a soft spot for 1-2-3 as I guess it started me down the slippery techy slope...

Oh yes!

I spend most of my working life working from home so can keep laptop & second display clear & pristine as they *have* to be. A couple of months ago I had to spend a couple of days in one of the corporate data centres & my colleagues laptop crapped out so he had to use mine AND HE TOUCHED THE SCREEN REPEATEDLY leaving fingerprints. To this day he has no idea how close he came to death although he did wonder why I kept cleaning the screen while was using the laptop...

They should pay every penny of the £125k

They should be made to pay all of it. They collectively wagered £125,000 on JA not being a duplicitous bail absconder and lost. WTF 'doing the right thing' has to do with it escapes me - try that with your friendly local bookie when you try to welsh & see how much he lets you off.

Context is important

What may amuse in one context - the famous black humour in the emergency services for example which helps them cope with horrific things - is clearly inappropriate in others. Before gobbing off about 'freedom of speech' consider whether the 'jokes' would be suitable to relate in person to the family & friends of an abducted & probably murdered 5 year old child. Got off very lightly in my view.

Contract Security Companies

For someone who has worked in the industry - albeit some years ago - this is no surprise. It was considered normal for a prospective officer to be interviewed in the afternoon and, in uniform, on site the same night. The client thought they had a vetted and trained officer obviously. 'Ghosted' shifts, an industrial estate 'guarded' by a mannikin in uniform placed in a car which other officers moved around at intervals, recruiting illegal immigrants & unemployables - the list goes on. Why was London 2012 going to be different? Why would anybody think it would be? and then the ask is raised for more officers and some gormless sales droid says 'no problem' - I mean what could possibly go wrong?