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* Posts by Amorous Cowherder

538 posts • joined 5 Jul 2012

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BBC: We're going to slip CODING into kids' TV

Amorous Cowherder
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Happy

Oh for the late Iain McNaught Davis, he'd have us all programming again in a jiffy!

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JLaw, Kate Upton exposed in celeb nude pics hack

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

Re: Yes.

"you fucking well have plenty to fear now!"

Well no, not really. I'm not a complete twat who'd even contemplate posting anything as moronic as a naked picture of myself in a public place!

IT lesson #132 for Normal People - Internet = Public Town Square. If you won't do it down the local town square, then don't do it on the internet!

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Google hops into bed with Brit red-top: Cooks up 'draw an app' coding compo for kids

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: I'm just amazed...

I love our gutter press, front page screams "STRING UP THE SICK PEADO SCUM!", little advert in the corner of the page, "Phwoar lads! Get an eyeful sweet 16 Debs posing topless!".

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Sir, sir, my cloud ate my homework: Google touts grading tool to teachers

Amorous Cowherder
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Boffin

Oooh, a step too far Google. I don't mind if I willing submit my info to you but when my kids have no choice because the UK gov says it's alright for Google to spy on my kids abilities through their homework? Ooh, to much.

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Stanford boffin is first woman to bag 'math Nobel Prize'

Amorous Cowherder
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She a genius 'cos she's a genius

Why should her gender matter? She obviously got the "gig" because she's the best of the best at what she does. Can't we just appreciate someone achieving something because they worked damn hard for it without bringing their gender or any other non-related matters into it?

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Cracker takes control of 200 rooms in Chinese hotel

Amorous Cowherder
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Happy

The lesson to be learned here...

Don't let techies get bored in hotel rooms 'cos we'll seriously bugger up your, ermm, blinds!

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Google's 'right to be forgotten': One rule for celebs, another for plebs

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: Slebometer

Exactly! Define being famous. Several hundred people follow me and my photographic exploits, tiny in comparison to some z-list pop starlet but am I famous 'cos a few hundred people follow my work? I'm well known and respected within some small groups of people but outside that no bugger will have heard of me! Do I get special dispensation from Google?

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African samba queen: Don't cut off pirates' net connections – cut off their FINGERS

Amorous Cowherder
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Flame

To quote Not the Nine O'Clock News, "CUT THE BALLS OFF! It's the only way! CUT THEM OFF! CUT THEM RIGHT OFF!"

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Pentagon hacker McKinnon reinvents himself as SEO guru

Amorous Cowherder
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Happy

" US authorities claimed his actions had caused $800K in damages, describing his actions as the "biggest military computer hack of all time". "

You reckon they make a Top Trumps Hackers set? My Snowdon card beats your McKinnon card!

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SOULLESS machine-intelligence ROBOT cars to hit Blighty in 2015

Amorous Cowherder
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Science minister Greg Clark added: “Britain is brilliantly placed to lead the world in driverless technology. It combines our strengths in cars, satellites, big data and urban design; with huge potential benefits for future jobs and for the consumer.”

-- Yep, we have lots of CCTV to keep track of the cars and spot those trying to nick or destroy them!

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Facebook: Want to stay in touch? Then it's Messenger or NOTHING

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: The less they care

Well yes, as they get bigger they need more money to run the service "for free". That only comes by way of "the man" sorting out their finances and making sure that every possible opportunity is taken to maximise income, if that means pissing off a few users then so be it, that's business.

Facebook was one of the first to get social networking right, grew at a stellar rate pulled in everyone and their dog and as Google+ found out separating people from their circle of online mates is a nigh on impossible task. Creatures of habit, most of the time we simply shut-up and put up with things that are relatively small parts of our daily lives. The average FB user ( just a few mates and family ) wouldn't dream of trying to waste any time on trying to move to another network, it's not worth the effort. Zuck knows this, which means up to a certain point he can do what the hell he likes with his baby, everyone moans but ultimately puts up with it.

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The END of the FONDLESLAB KINGS? Apple and Samsung have reason to FEAR

Amorous Cowherder
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Had an ASUS TF-101 for the last two and half years and I'm happy with it. Recently rooted it and put KitKat on it, battery life is better than ever and it seems a tad more responsive. It works perfectly for everything I need but when it does finally die I'll be more than happy to buy another ASUS tablet based on my good experiences with this one.

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eBay impulse buyers STAY AWAY: Holy Grail Superman comic book to fetch $2m+

Amorous Cowherder
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Charity donation aside, I bet Fleabay can't wait to get their claws into that lovely 10% commission on the sale of a $2m item!

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June Whitfield and EE to old folk: Would you like a nice cup of tea and some internet, dear?

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

My 75 year old Dad isn't normal!

I thank the heaven's my Dad was always a DIY tech nutter. He was always making daft electronic gadgets when I was growing up in the 70's ( usually burning stains on the kitchen table with his soldering iron, much to the annoyance of my late Mum! ). The minute he got his hands on a micro back in the early 80's there was no stopping him. He's 75 now and I don't get normal parent type calls about unable to work out how to use the DVD player. I get calls from him along the lines of, "I need to extract source data from website ABC.com, get it into CSV and import into another Filemaker database I'm writing, have you got any Java source I can get started with to get it dumped?"! I love him for it!

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Secondhand Point-o-Sale terminal was horrific security midden

Amorous Cowherder
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Bankruptcy stock and dealt with by a load of people who are simply just shifting and lifting old kit to get money back.

The company goes down, the employees might be lucky to get a token pay off but most are just happy to be out of it and off a new job. The old crap in the offices is just dumped on the back of lorries by people who neither know nor care what it is, they're just told to "pile 'em high and sell them off" to get money back to pay the bankruptcy debt back to the bank.

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New Star Wars movie plot details leak, violate common sense and laws of physics

Amorous Cowherder
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Happy

Re: What really matters

Steady there soldier! Fischer's aged well but not THAT well!

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Facebook in new 'experiment' drama: Will users buy it?

Amorous Cowherder
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Best of luck, anyone with any sense already has AdBlock. Actually anyone with any sense has already avoided Facebook!

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NUDE SNAPS AGENCY: NSA bods love 'showing off your saucy selfies'

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

"access to said picts"?

Don't bring the the Scot's into this as well, they have enough to worry about at the moment!

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BT: Whew, we've been cleared of major privacy breach. Oh SNAP, another webmail blunder

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

"...we are satisfied that BT did comply with the Data Protection Act in relation to its BT Mail email platform," an ICO spokesman told El Reg.

Well I wouldn't have expected any less than this from the toothless entity that is the ICO!

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Can it be true? That I hold here, in my mortal hand, a nugget of PUREST ... BLACK?

Amorous Cowherder
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Smell the Glove!

If Spinal Tap don't re-release "Smell the Glove" using this for the cover, I'll be very disappointed!

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New leaked 'Windows 8 screenshot': The Start Menu strikes back

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

The only thing I like about the start menu is that I can quickly find things more easily by looking down groups of folders and lists of apps, that I find easier than the tiled interface where you need a rough idea what you're looking for in order to find it. Apart from that I'm not that bothered but I do wish they'd make up their bloody minds! Either bring it back or don't, all this pissing about like a fart in a cullendar, don't know which hole to go out through!

Stupid thing is, they bring it back now there will be this section of Windows releases where there is no Start Menu available, so we'd move from Windows with, through Windows without and back to Windows with!

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Murdoch calls for ISPs to be liable for users' activities

Amorous Cowherder
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Mushroom

OK, not a problem but....

What about the rest of us?

You greedy media moguls are doing it to protect your goodies from unauthorised copying, fair enough but what about my photos? Will they get the full weight of the law next time some thieving, spotty faced sod has at one of my images, butchers it and tries to pass it off as their own? Will you lot come to my aid? Will you send in SWAT teams to protect my rights and my copyright? Will you f**k! I'll drop an email to the ISP and the website in question and if I'm really, really lucky someone might take the image down but most of the time I'll just get ignored, while someone little bastard gets the glory for my all hard work and I lose out on potential sales. Must be so great to live on those wonderful ivory towers the likes of Murdoch and co live in.

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Europe's highest court: Apple CAN trademark its retail store layout

Amorous Cowherder
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Headmaster

Re: step foot?

Ooh you wicked child!

20 lines on the board, "I WILL NOT RIP THE PISS OUT OF PSYCHOTIC, MURDERING SPORTS CELEBS!"

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Would it be BAD if the Amazon rainforest was all FARMS? Well it WAS, once

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: The rest of the world was heavily forested

Indeed, the highlands of Scotland, known for being sparse and barren these days was once very heavily forested. However I believe it started decline around 1500BC when the climate got wetter and windier, people moved into the area with animals, even the Romans reported from around 30BC there the Caledonian forests were still quite thick.

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Reg reader fires up Pi-powered anti-cat garden sprinkler system

Amorous Cowherder
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Pint

Re: An excellent system

Timers are easy even for an animal to work out, the cat would soon work our when a toilet stop was possible. You need something to take snapshots using a camera, then detect changes from the last to the next image, changes in the image capture stream mean something has moved into or out of the view of the camera. It's the basis of how most home CCTV units work. It takes time to tune home CCTV so it's not going off every few minutes 'cos a tree has moved in the wind or a cat has run through your garden ( stopping for toilet breaks sometimes! ).

You can usually get some OSS that will do the same for any webcam, the clever bit is using it for something wise and wicked like this, a superb adaptation of technology by this gent. I have female cats and we back onto a river, so they go down the river and are not territorial enough to bother going next door for a crap.

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NSA dragnet mostly slurped innocents' traffic

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: mooooooity OMGeeez!!! What a DISASTER!!! We're all DOOOOMED!!! Etc.

MattBryant :- "If you don't like it then get off the Grid and let the rest of us use the bandwidth for something useful."

Such as?

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Fridge hacked. Car hacked. Next up, your LIGHT BULBS

Amorous Cowherder
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Happy

"By gaining access to the master bulb,"

Just sounds like a line from a really crappy, made-for-TV sci-fi movie!

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ISPs haul GCHQ into COURT over dragnet interwebs snooping

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

So what, even by a slim chance they're found guilty, it's not like they're going to stop spying is it?

It's GCHQ's whole "raison d'etre"!

Slap wrist, naughty boys and girls, off to bed with no supper and don't do it again. Next day, backon "da toobs" looking up the details on anyone they fancy taking a pop at.

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Facebook dumps AWS, moves Instagram's images to own bit barns

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

"All without directly charging the end user anything at all."

Oh come on, you cannot be that naive surely?

Oh no, Facebook, Twitter, Google et all do all this from the goodness of their little hearts! The cost is so little they only want to know every little detail about you or at the very least, as much as you're willing to share either directly and consciously, or more sinisterly and most often when you post something seemingly innocent, which their data harvesting algorithms will rake through multiple times looking for anything of value. Once they have it sifted and sorted, they sell "you" off to the highest bidder.

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Amorous Cowherder
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Why go through all that?

Simply take a handful of sepia/lomo processed images of a VW van, a cup of coffee, a couple of different kittens, someone's shoes and a few assorted images of 19 year olds in "hipster" style fashions, duplicate the images to every user when on the target SANs and you're done! Bish-bosh!

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Facebook: Yes, we made you SAD on PURPOSE... for your own good

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

PNAS?

Yeah, there certainly a lot of those running Facebook!

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London teen charged over Spamhaus mega-DDoS attacks

Amorous Cowherder
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Happy

He's a teenager.

Take away his Spotify, Skype and Vine access and he'll be climbing the walls before lunchtime!

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27 Data-Slurping Facts BuzzFeed Doesn't Want You To Know!

Amorous Cowherder
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Not really, there are so many opportunities for people to connect to the internet now that these places are designed to attract bored people. Most of us would simply read a book or find something useful to do but there are a lot of people with a lot of free time to spare!

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Amorous Cowherder
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Boffin

Re: What's the problem?

That's what's bothered me about all these quizzes you see the links for being posted about all over the place, the questions seem silly enough but when you sit down and actually analyze some of them they are quite intrusive.

Given enough mugs answering them, plus the background data they can fetch it's not difficult to see how valuable some of this info could be to someone with a cheque book big enough.

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Backup bods Acronis extend disk-imaging support to Macs at last

Amorous Cowherder
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Acronis True Image is good for Windows but they're not going to get far in Mac-land. Time Machine is the one thing I miss not having on Windows, it's a superb piece of software that's never let me down in 5 years of owning a Mac.

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F1 racing ace Michael Schumacher's medical records were pinched

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: Alternatively

Pond scum can't help being what it is, however unlike humans, you won't find pond scum screwing each over a for few little green pieces of paper.

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Apple SOLDERS memory into new 'budget' iMac

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: Imagined use case?

Xbuntu 13.10 running Virtualbox on 8GB and 2x 750GB drives and a dual core box......it ran a 3 node Oracle RAC cluster! Granted it was slow but it was usable for education purposes.

Amazing what well written software, when configured correctly, can be made to do if you put your mind to it. On the other hand I have to work alongside ( not with! ) C# developers who won't get out bed unless their pet development app server has a minimum 32GB, 8 cores and 8TB of local storage!

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DON'T PANIC: Facebook returns after 30-minute outage terror

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

My God it was awful I had to.....you know....barely bring myself to say it, but I had find something else to do other than wittering my meaningless endevours to the rest of the world!

Actually I only found out later on when someone told me they could look at one of my photos. Shock horror, they did something else for an hour or so and then came back! No fuss. No moaning. No losing their freaking mind! Just behaving like a normal sane person and simply waiting patiently for things to be sorted.

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YOU'RE HISTORY: Ancestry.com goes titsup for TWO DAYS

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

I think of many targets that would be ideal for a DDOS but a genealogy site?! Doesn't seem like something I can imagine many hackers would gain much kudos from their peers for taking out of service!

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YouTube will nuke indie music videos in DAYS, says Google exec

Amorous Cowherder
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Pint

They're targetting those wonderful demographics!

Firstly the 8-13 year old teenager with their first disposable income, hasn't really found their feet quite yet with regards music, still buying manufactured pop-pap until they discover nihilistic indy-music, just before they start their GCSEs.

Secondly the 30-something who never really got into indy music other than buying a Stone Roses CD a few years back 'cos it had that song on it that was in such and such film. Happy to buy Coldplay and Rihanna CDs by the bucketload and the odd MP3 single off X-Factor with that bloke/women with the good voice.

Lastly the 40-something "rock-Dad", likes a little jive to AC/DC at nephew/nieces wedding or that one off that commercial Yes album that everyone has, doesn't like anything heavier, happy to go all teary at the thought of an REO Speedwagon track that him and the Missus played at their wedding 20 years ago. WIll happily hoover up soft-rock CDs in TESCO like they're going out of fashion.

All three groups are superb money spinners for the music industry mainstream!

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Amorous Cowherder
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Happy

Don't forget 'teenage male singing generic love song about unnamed girl.'...steady now, let's see...

Don't forget 'foetus posing as teenager singing generic love song, written for them by balding 30 year industry song writing veteran with 400 other song credits and royalty cheques that would make you weep, singing about other unnamed teenager younger than them of course as they won't sing about real life where people of all ages fall for each other'

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People will happily run malware if paid ONE CENT – new study

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

So to sum up...

"A fool and their money are soon parted." and "One born every minute!"

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Supermodel Lily Cole: 'I got a little bit upset by that Register article'

Amorous Cowherder
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Mushroom

Get your wallet out yourself Cole!

If she's got £7m+ in the bank and so desperately wanted a "web-toy" to play with, why didn't she get some celeb mates to chuck £100k each into a pot and launch it themselves? Why the f**k do I have to pay taxes to fund this vanity project? I want my money to go on hospitals, education and council cleaners to clear up the dog-shit that litters town pavements up and down the country!

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Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

Amorous Cowherder
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Pint

Save your breath Reg

Nice article Reg but save your breath, another government dept hyping up the non-existent bogey-men on "da net" so they can get more money to play with by frightening those with the purse strings. As they say, why let facts get in the way of a good story.

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Bloke squeezes Apple's boules, predicts millions of iPhone 6s, iWatches

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

Fascinatating...

Completely unknown person does sums on back of napkin about a company that's always being hyped up and get's his name and ego, and no doubt his portfolio, pumped up!

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Google Fit will slurp YOUR heartbeat, weight, blood pressure from gizmos

Amorous Cowherder
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Anyone listened to the radio show Bigipedia? The Bigi-Medic? Life imitates art once again.

"Press button if you are unconscious....you have not pressed the button. Bigi-Medic assumes you are now well. Have a nice day!"

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Yes. Facebook will KNOW you've been browsing for smut

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

" data tucked away in users' browsing history because 'many companies [read: rivals] already do this'. "

Quite a lot of people burgle houses and nick cars, doesn't mean everyone should start doing it!

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Amazon Prime Music opens – but where's the streaming music?

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

They wonder why

Yadda, yadda, yadda, "wrapped up in legal red tape...",..."can't offer X from supplier Y....".....

Oh sod it....http://www.pirate_torrents_proxy.com

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Texan parks quadcopter atop Dallas Cowboys stadium

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

Sooner or later someone is going to get seriously injured or killed by these bell ends flying their toys around populated places. Then model aviationists will suffer as the government puts in more laws on where and when they will be able fly.

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Ballmer SLAM-DUNKS $2 BEEELLLION bid for LA Clippers

Amorous Cowherder
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Good luck to him, as my old man occasionally still reminds me ( even though my 43 ), "Not telling you what to do son, it's your money!".

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