* Posts by Amorous Cowherder

660 posts • joined 5 Jul 2012

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Scrooges rejoice! Beancounters find formula for perfect Xmas party

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

To bugger up your formula...

Add one child under 10 - Said child will insist, bride, whinge and generally annoy all adults into giving the child ALL the cack prizes from whatever box of naff crackers you bought this year.

For even more fun...

Bring 2 children under 10 into the mix - 2 children will fight over the shite toys that fell from crackers and in general cause all adults to moan and shout and finally confiscate shite toys so that, "If that's the way it's going to be, I'll bin them all and nobody wins any!"

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TorrentLocker ransomware pestilence plagues Europe, bags $500k

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: I don't get it

There are some basic common sense rules that should be printed on a big sheet of hi-vis yellow paper and put into every PC box before it's shipped off to the Apple store and PC World, just to remind every one of us that, "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom."

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London teen pleads guilty to Spamhaus DDoS

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: going down

"When you were 16 (the crime was 18 months ago), did you possess the executive functions to properly assess the consequences of your actions?"

Nope and while I might have done some bloody stupid petty crimes and vandalism, I didn't try to nick a lorry and clog up the M1 motorway!! That's basically what this kid was doing, trying to take a piece of infrastructure offline. This little prat knew what he was doing, he knew that he was technically trying to bring down an organisations infrastructure or the public facing part of it. Even when I was vandalising stuff as a spotty little bastard 25 years ago, I knew it was wrong. I knew I'd get nicked by the Police if I got caught and I knew I'd most likely end up in court and fined. My parents would have gone fecking ape-shit if they knew some of the stupid stuff I did as a kid but I don't deny that I knew what I was doing and I knew it was against the law. I grew up after a while when I knew that sooner or later my luck would run out and I would screw up my chances of staying at college and certainly screw up getting a job afterwards.

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NY premiere of The Interview cancelled after hackers' terrorist threats

Amorous Cowherder
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Unhappy

Looks like the terrorists are winning again

They simply needed to install a sense of fear and their work is done. Every time we run and hide, they win another psychological battle and our own government confirms that we are docile and easily swayed by rumours and idle threats.

The thought I have about all this, what about Team America? That film took the piss out of the NORK lad's Dad and no one got so upitty about that.

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Twitter co-founder: 'I don’t give a SHIT if Instagram has more people looking at pretty pics'

Amorous Cowherder
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Pint

If you have a purpose then they can be useful tools. I know photographers who have managed to use "Instagrab" as a way to generate interest from their mobile phone snapshots, to get their main photography businesses off the ground and stay running. However they are not "lifestyles" as some people seem to think, these places are tools used by "tools". You get used by these sites, your data gets crawled over and analyzed to death, but if you're a little smart you can use them for your own advantage and get something useful back.

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Amorous Cowherder
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USED or SET UP?

My Missus has a an Instagram account just to keep an eye on our what our daughter is doing, but my Missus has no interest in posting.

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Pirate Bay towed to oldpiratebay.org

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: Somebody tell the police

I can imagine a lot of Coppers are probably torrent users and understand how it works, just like a lot of regular people do. The problem is they get told to kick the door at XYZ address and arrest everyone, 'cos the court order tells them to.

The stupidity of all this "whack-a-mole" is that everyone from the studio lawyers right down to the copper holding the battering ram and a copy of the warrant, all know it's pointless. They have to be seen to be doing the "right thing", even though the "right thing" is an utter load of pointless nonsense that just makes everyone feel better that they're doing their jobs properly.

Civilized society needs to be doing a lot of the "right thing" in order to give people work to do, so they can earn a wage and pay their taxes. If you sit and think for just 5 minutes there are so many jobs out there that could be easily replaced or done away with, but as humans we need to ensure we're all doing something even if it's pointless!

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No more free Windows... and now it’s all about the services

Amorous Cowherder
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Joke

Windows in kit form?

So I take it from that the core is a basic cost and anything else unimportant like networking, installing graphics drivers, mouse/keyboard support, start menu, etc will each be a cost option bought on demand?!

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GCHQ, police to team up to hunt down child abuse on the darknet

Amorous Cowherder
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Unhappy

Re: Can't be too careful

Now try going out in public with a camera! Oh that's a lot of fun, you see kids anywhere near you have to make a big song and dance with

a) pointing the camera in the opposite direction

b) putting the lens cap on until children move away or you move away

c) if using a tripod simply step a foot or two away from it until the kids are gone

I realise this behaviour only perpetuates the media hysteria but I simply don't need the grief, it's that simple. I like my hobby of taking pictures but I also like my life, my family and my house that lot would be under serious threat if some psychotic, media stirred up nutty parent went ranting to the local Copper that they suspected I was taking pictures of little Johnny or Julie.

Sad little world we've created for ourselves.

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Assange's WikiLeaks: Give generously this Xmas – for STATUE of our DEAR LEADER

Amorous Cowherder
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Statues?

Fair enough the mouthy sods are trying to do the right thing for the most part but they're hardly in the same league as Martin Luther King or Harriet Tubman FFS!

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Put me through to Buffy's room, please. Sony hackers leak stars' numbers, travel aliases

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

As someone else said, I'm sure there were a few IT people saying security was shit. They kept putting in requests to tighten it properly and they were told that Mr XYZ director and his dept need instant access ( read: no annoying passwords ) to information on all shared drives in the network. The IT managers are too shit scared to ask the IT honcho to let me enforce the techie recommendations for fear of the IT head honcho. So they simply slide the recommendations into a drawer and forget about it, telling the techies that it's "being discussed at the next meeting".

Tick, tick, tick...BOOM! All hell breaks lose the second this GOP lot get into the network.

The interesting thing is that nobody noticed TBs of movie data going out the door because SONY being a media company they probably bother to monitor data transfers over a certain size....or was it that IT bods said "You know we should monitor the network transfers for odd amounts of data transfer to remote sites that have not been put on a whitelist.".

To which the reply would have been, "Get back under your stone your annoying IT types with your crap about security, no one cares and if you try to put any in and Mr XYZ director has to type anything into a password box you lot will be for the high jump! Do you understand?!"

So I guess that right now there are a lot of IT bods in SONY racking up shit loads of overtime with a smug smile on their faces!

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Parliament face-sit-in to spark mass debate on UK's stiff smut stance

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: Evidence-based legislation?

Like everything else in this bloody country the government doesn't have a brain of it's own, they have to follow the US down the puritanical route.

Pre watershed TV with guns, crime and swearing that kids can see => OK, FILL YER BOOTS!

18 rated pornography to be watched by consenting adults in their own home => BAN THIS SICK FILTH!

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Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

"banning of abusive language"?!?!

Se where that will lead....

"I say my dear shall we engage in sexual congress this evening?"

"Oh yes dear, let's."

* lights out and noise of zips being undone *

"Eurrrrgh!"

* lights on we see them both fully clothed again *

"Thank you darling that was most pleasant. Shall we engage at the same time next month?"

"Of course dear that would be most agreeable."

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Mom and daughter SUE Comcast for 'smuggling' public Wi-Fi hotspot into their home

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: Is suing someone the best response?

"Or is suing someone the American first response to everything?"

No, but sometimes it's the only way to get these megacorps to actually listen to the little guy being trodden underfoot!

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A first look at Google’s Android Studio 1.0: Climbing out of the Eclipse kitchen sink

Amorous Cowherder
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I did a few silly apps using Eclipse but it's never been the greatest IDE. I've been using the new Android Developer Suite for the last month or two and it's certainly better than Eclipse, I just wish Google would come up a decent emulator for testing. The ADS still has the same shitty emulator that came with Eclipse, and honestly it really is an utter shite Android testbed!

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Égalité, Fraternité - Oui, peut-etre. Liberté? NON, French speedcam Facebookers told

Amorous Cowherder
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I just can't be arsed anymore!

I used to load speed camera POI warnings on my SatNav but I stopped using them a few years back, now I just can't be arsed with constantly faffing about watching for cameras and speeding up and slowing down. It's easier to just drive just under the speed almost all the time, might be a slower journey and it might piss the odd fecking eejit off who wants to scream up to a 40 speed camera at 65, then slam on the brakes. They're putting in more average speed checks now as they know people do that speed up/slow down thing between cameras. The advantage by driving at the limit is that I'm not emptying my tank with a single journey, a bit more "bang for my buck" so to speak when I pump in the diesel.

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It was SPACECRAFT vs BOAT at ORION LAUNCH. The boat won

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: "One Way Ticket To Certain, Pointless Death!"

I don't know, that statement pretty much sums up every piss-poor project I've had the misfortune to be involved with!

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Apple knob refusenik Sir Jony Ive handed award - for talking BOLLOCKS

Amorous Cowherder
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Coat

Re: Talking of plain English

I've not worn a watch for almost 25 years now. I used to have a watch when I was a kid, every nerdy kid like me had a Casio calculator watch for Xmas. However I reached my late teens I found I hated covering my wrists, one of my odd little foibles., I always roll the cuffs up on my work shirts as I hate them covering my wrists. I obviously roll them down for important meetings but it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I can only guess it's some bizarre mental thing about showing my honesty, "nothing up my sleeve" so to speak. Strangely cuffs on coats don't bother me!

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Sinclair is back with the Spectrum Vega ... just as rubbish as the ZX

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: Nah

"Brats all seemed to get a CPC with a colour screen."

Oh yeah? We got one 'cos my Dad was fed up with me taking over the TV with the Dragon32 and moaning about having to use the shitty BW portable in the kitchen when the match was on! Xmas came around and my old man had worked his nuts off to afford an upgrade to shiny a CPC464 with a colour screen, on condition it was available for anyone to use with the MiniOffice suite when letters and such like needed doing. Of course then there was lots of whinging about lack of games during the first 9 months until it started getting a decent set of titles and some other kids in my school also got 464's. I then had someone to copy and swa...ahem, discuss gaming strategies with by way of sharing the software!

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Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

Yep, grab yourself a copy of NMAP and do a scan on the range of IPs just outside your own "frontdoor" from your home connection and you'll find a treasure trove of goodies sitting connected directly to the internet. A quick Google search for the default logins on these devices and you're in. Tragic state of affairs by lazy manufacturers.

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Man asks internet for $1k for pebbles. INTERNET SAYS YES

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

Water wastage? FFS!

You've still got to cool them down in a freezer, same as ice.

What about cleaning?! You've got to wash these after every use! At least with ice cubes you simply drink them and they're recycled by the user. I certainly don't want your whisky/spittle covered stones in my drink without a wash first thanks! Oh and lots of dishwasher detergent too!

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Wikipedia won't stop BEGGING for cash - despite sitting on $60m

Amorous Cowherder
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...banner ads suggest disaster may be imminent if people don't donate..." -

Hardly the collapse of civilisation is it? Just means a few more students will have to actually open those papery things they buy at the start of the year, do some reading and then actually come up with their own essays!

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Knockoff knockdown: Euro cops shutter 300 'counterfeit' domains

Amorous Cowherder
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"Surfers looking for the sites will be shown an "educational" page about copyright crime."

Surely if it's counterfeiting then it's laws relating to that? Isn't copyright to do with IP and creative works of art and writing?

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No wristjob, please, we're Apple fans: Just 10% would buy the Apple Watch

Amorous Cowherder
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WTF?

No one saw that coming! NOT! Apple fans are a discerning bunch, the watch at the very least sounds like a tacky idea ( all sounds very CASIO! ) let alone what it actually looks like.

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Men, Women and Children: Shows how crap the internet is via the medium of crap film

Amorous Cowherder
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Headmaster

Re: "Starring Adam Sandler"

Adam Sandler, the housewives choice. A quick straw poll of the half dozen or so "married with kids ladies" in my family ( including my beloved ) will show a unanimous support for him.

He's seen as cute, funny, non-threatening, malleable male that a studio sponsored poll would show women would most like to meet. He's the US answer to Hugh Grant. Every role see's Sandler as a bit of buffoon but with a heart of gold, he may start off with a unpleasant ideas but he's always calmed and brought under control by the women he meets and falls in love with. Exactly what a lot of middle-aged men in suits like to think a lot of middle-aged women sitting at home would like to watch!

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Author fined $500k in first US spyware conviction

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: FBI

Exactly! The words "pot" and "kettle" came racing into my mind while I was reading this piece.

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Social media data is RIDDLED with human behaviour errors, boffins warn

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

What I see in internet forums are lots of snobs! "Ooh look I have an opinion. If you don't agree you must be stupid and if you don't have an opinion on this or my opinion, well you must one of the 'sheeple'!".

Sorry if I don't always have an opinion on some things, that doesn't make me an idiot. Sadly what you fail to grasp in your tiny little world ( population 1 ) is that while you may think is hugely important to you, I may not give a monkey's toss about so I'm wasting any of my time on it.

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It's BLOCK FRIDAY: Britain in GREED-crazed bargain bonanza mob frenzy riot MELTDOWN

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

"Poor porn"

Sadly this black day was black in more than ways than one. Scenes of such stupidity, people behaving like spoilt brats at a party when there was no jelly or ice cream. Black stain on our character as a nation more like, to swallow this rubbish from across the pond.

Sadly on social media it simply turned into "poor porn", commenters watching and laughing as people fought over plastic gadgets they really don't want or need, simply buying because the bullshit from the retailers told them there were bargains. A few morsels to wet the appetite and the rest of the crap they can't shift is knocked down by 15% tops.

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Amorous Cowherder
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Re: Buying For The Sake Of It.

Bingo!

Some bloke crowing that he got some perfume for £45 instead of £70! FFS! Was it worth it? I bet if you went on eBay you'd probably get it for £20!

Police being called to break up fights? People getting injured and needing ambulances? All for a few so-called sales? We're a shameful, tiny minded species sometimes.

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High Court: You've made our SH*T list – corked pirate torrent sites double in a day

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

Cheers to the Uk Gov for the new list, I'll just do a Google search for the latest proxies to these torrent sites...

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The gender imbalance in IT is real, ongoing and ridiculous

Amorous Cowherder
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Flame

Re: Not just IT

"However - peer group pressure accounts for much of a child's development."

So very true. A battle we're fighting right now with my own daughter. Our daughter had Barbie when she was young but was always way more interested in the cars you could get for them. The most played with toys while she was young was her garage and cars and her LEGO! She loved building houses and cars. Despite having messed about and worked with computers for close on 35 years ( since I was 7 years old! ) I tried to gently persuade our daughter to take up more technical subjects but she was never that interested. However she loves the more traditional science subjects over maths and english, and for the last 2 years she's talked of nothing else but desperately wanting to be a vet.

This is where it's starting to become harder. She's in 2nd year at Secondary and none of her school mates like biology, they can't stand the idea of cutting up fluffy animals and inspecting the insides ( be honest neither do I ) but my daughter loves biology and chemistry. She loves getting to understand the nitty gritty of what makes us all tick inside. All the kids in her class think she's weird wanting to be a vet, some have called her a freak for enjoying biology and the hard part is convincing my daughter to stay true to her dream of becoming a vet. We're always talking about the work, what she's been doing and even though she's only 12, already showing her the websites and requirements she'll need to get into the Royal Veterinary College. Taking her to zoo, behing-the-scene days, farm yards. Anything to keep that dream alive.

I don't want her dreams crushed by morons who can't see that some people do have dreams and want to pursue them. Peer pressure is a battle you have to fight by proxy, a hard fight.

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Ten excellent FREE PC apps to brighten your Windows

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

Normally I'd happily upvote anyone for the Linux ref, but this time you've made a bit of plonker of yourself as this is a list of free Windows software!

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I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations

Amorous Cowherder
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Pint

Someone one said, "We experience time travel every time we look up into the heavens and see the light from distant stars."

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Five-eyes partners dilute UN resolution criticising metadata collection

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

Fed up with seeing reports with statements to the effect, "Hooray we managed to save from being under surveillance quite so much!". It should be, "They still managed to get a foothold with limited powers. Only a matter of time until the dust settles and they 'sneak' in another power and another and so on.".

We never did sleepwalk into a surveillance society, we heard the alarm, banged the snooze button and just rolled over back to sleep.

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World of Warcraft then and now: From Orcs and Humans to Warlords of Draenor

Amorous Cowherder
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Pint

Re: I miss

To a certain extent I agree but my reasons are that when I was spotty 17 year old I had way too much time and could memorise the keyboard layout to every Microprose sim. These days, kids, job, family, hobbies, yadda, yadda, I'm looking for quick to learn gaming thrills. I can't play Fallout or Skyrim when my kids are about, as they're quite violent games. So I play games with my kids that they like such as Minecraft for example.

So yes it's about age but not directly because you are "too old".

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US taxmen won't say WHY they're probing Microsoft. So Redmond is suing the IRS

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

"Redmond claims the IRS is dragging its feet on purpose."

Some of us have worked for government depts, they move at two speeds, slow and stop!

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Bang! You're dead. Who gets your email, iTunes and Facebook?

Amorous Cowherder
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Pint

I couldn't care less to be quite blunt, others in my immediate family will no doubt beg to differ. I have a will to ensure anything of any value is passed on but once I'm gone, I'm worm food and none of this stuff I've done or saved will mean anything to me and probably not to anyone else. I have to date 2,500 landscape photos I've shot, some have won international competitions, some are earning me license fees as I write, it would be a shame to lose all that hard work but that's my family's problem once I'm gone. I have asked my family what they want to do with me and my stuff, they're welcome to do whatever the wish with my physical remains and my "digital remains", they've yet to decide. Sure it would be shame to just vanish in the puff of an "rm" command but that's life, or death! I was brought up to accept that death is as natural as birth, simply a natural part of life. I have to go some day to make room for others.

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Virgin Media struck dumb by NATIONWIDE packet loss balls-up

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

Had a few drop outs. So I went off, cooked dinner, sat and watched some TV for an hour and it was fine afterwards. Jeez, never mind 3 meals from anarchy, it's more like 1 packet loss from anarchy these days!

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Space Commanders rebel as Elite:Dangerous kills offline mode

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

"This isn't something we can translate into an offline experience as we'd effectively have to make a new game world..."

Well Bell and Braben did the whole damned thing in 32KB FFS!

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SAVE ME, NASA system builder, from my DEAD WORKSTATION

Amorous Cowherder
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Sounds lovely...

Did I miss something, was there supposed to be something more than a basic advertisement for a very helpful desktop vendor, in this article?

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The last PC replacement cycle is about to start turning

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose

"not a dinky thing where finding the Pipe Symbol is a major challenge"

Oh yes!

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WATCH: Rosetta astroboffin TATTOOED with PHILAE from the FUTURE!

Amorous Cowherder
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Pint

Cannibal Corpse?!

Nah! You want to get some Decapitated or Skeletonwitch, or if you want something a little more quiet, a bit of Opeth ( pre Watershed of course! ) or maybe a little bit of Insomnium?

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Facebook: Over half a BEELLION loyalists have SPURNED our Messenger app

Amorous Cowherder
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Thumb Up

Exactly! I use their pages through a browser, no way I would ever install any native apps they make. They "want the moon on a stick" in terms of privs on your devices.

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Don't assume public trusts you, MI5. 'Make a case' for surveillance – Former security chief

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: Trust

Exactly! No one minds surveillance but on legitimate targets and with damned solid suspicions, not the current...."We're so bloody useless, sod it let's hoover up everything in the hopes we'll find some dirt on the bad guys and possibly catch a few others while we're at it with any luck!".

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'Tech giants who encrypt comms are unwittingly aiding terrorists', claims ex-Home Sec Blunkett

Amorous Cowherder
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Given that he was a racist right-wing wolf in left-wing sheep's clothes, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could spit him. As Mark Thomas said at the time Blunkett was in office, "Anyone like to tell Blunkett his dog's black?".

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Firefox decade: Microsoft's IE humbled by a dogged upstart. Native next?

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

“The browser is the main reason you turn on your computer,” he claimed. “Look at the desktop – native is dead. I turn on my machine and I go into my browser. The era of loading native apps on the desktop passed a while ago."

OK for most people but try telling that to creatives in a music studio or photographers working in the field, they cannot rely on some fancy web app to allow them to do their editing. No, native is not dead just yet, just not as relevant for most people now.

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Old hat: Fedora 21 beta late than never... and could be best ever

Amorous Cowherder
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Facepalm

...or running the Fedora beta inside a VM and using the host to capture the screens?

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Million Mask March: Anonymous' London Guy Fawkes protest a damp squib

Amorous Cowherder
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Ha ha, "Hunt the rich!", now remind me how did Westwood make her £90m fortune? Oh yes, flogging overpriced tat to very rich people obsessed by fashion!

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Apple strap-on wristjob: You WON'T be able to spend more than $5,000!

Amorous Cowherder
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Pint

I would say "Fools and their money...", but each to their own. I've spent tens of thousands on photographic kit for nothing more than just a hobby or "A bit of a laugh to keep me off the streets!" as I often put it, so I've no grounds to mock the trinket buyers. We all get our jollies wherever we feel we need to.

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iBail: American Psycho actor Christian Bale rejects Steve Jobs role

Amorous Cowherder
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Re: Jobs is not God, Apple is not heaven.

Yes there are but if you need to pump $50m minimum into a movie you need to guarantee a return or you won't get no funding to start with. That's why Hollywood is stagnating like a fetid pond on a Summer's day, no one will take a risk on a script that might not recoup at least 2x the asking price.

Jobs was an arsehole, no doubt about that but that's why he's perfect cinema material. The saintly uncle like figure to most with the nasty streak who screwed over his best mate, dumped his pregnant girlfriend and denied the existence of his daughter for many years just to make sure his billion dollar fortune was made and secured, only for it all to end with something all his money and fame could never fix for him. It's almost spot-on perfect second rate drivel spewed from the lowest Hollywood screenwriter's copy of Word ( or more likely Pages as they all use Macs! ).

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