* Posts by Amorous Cowherder

1000 posts • joined 5 Jul 2012

Page:

It's not our fault we don't hire black people, says Facebook

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Numbers games, surely?

Surely this is all a game of percentages?

If you have job X and you put out for CVs and you get 6/10 white males, 2/10 while females, 1/10 black and 1/10 Asian. Then the most obvious thing, even to a pre-GCSE maths student is that the probability of someone from the higher percentage ( the white male group ) getting the job is much higher. Simple, basic probability.

This "screaming meamies" crying foul over possible employment discrimination need to expend their energies on getting into schools and promoting the value of a well paid tech/science job to kids who may not have otherwise thought of it. most kids aren't stupid, they simply need the right motivation, sadly in today's world, for a lot of them, it's shite like Meet the Kardashians and X-Factor.

When you have a society that worships at the feet of the likes of Kanye West and that fat arsed bird he's with ( who's famous for simply being famous ) or a dozen premier league footballers and their bimbo girlfriends, rather than paying respect to the likes of Dr Brian Cox (*), then you're going to end up with a load of kids with poor ideas about life choices. My daughter has just made her choices for GCSE, she wants to do history and science subjects, the discussions at school came up about what the other kids want to do in life, the top 3 ( from her very rough straw poll ) footballer, hairdresser and rock star! FFS! Other kids asked my girl why she was taking history, geography and sociology, they couldn't understand how someone could enjoy those subjects as they're so boring! There's your problem, right there. A lot of kids believing the shite like X-Factor, thinking that getting their 15 mins of fame is all that matters over trying to begin a steady career path.

(* - just using Cox as an example of a scientist who's in the media that kids would have certainly seen )

20
2

When customers try to be programmers: 'I want this CHANGED TO A ZERO ASAP'

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Surely the last one is obvious?

Been there, done that and probably have the shirt somewhere, although it was usually only a frustrating 45 mins at most. Ah the follies of a youthful coder who thought he knew-it-all, only to be slammed back to earth by the genius of an inadvertent infinite loop!

2
0

Microsoft buys SwiftKey, Britain's 'stealthiest software startup'

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Nice heart warming story of 2 bright people, thinking clearly, planning properly and making a success with a genuinely good product and a lot of hard work...and they're Brits to boot!

8
0

BT blames 'faulty router' for mega outage. Did they try turning it off and on again?

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Yeah.. don't believe it.

Exactly what I was thinking..

a) a bad firmware update through a few core devices

b) accidental flip from prod to test setup

c) accidental flip from prod to poorly tested DR setup

0
1

Two-thirds of Android users vulnerable to web history sniff ransomware

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Happy

Feel free to forward my browsing history to my family, means I won't have answer inane questions about what I've been up to recently when we have to get together for family do's, they'll have their suspicions confirmed that I'm not good enough for their daughter! Ha ha!

7
0

'Printer Ready'. Er… you actually want to print? What, right now?

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Mushroom

Bloody women!

Had exactly the same problem last night with our Epson 7515. My Missus was trying to print from her iPhone. Queue is stacking up micely but nothing coming out....

W: "Why can't we turn it off/on?"

Me: "Not now love, who's the IT expert?"

W: "Yes but..."

Me: "I'll have it in a minute love."

W: "We could just reset the printer, look there's an option on the menu."

Me: "Yes but darling, it's working fine from the PCs, it's got to be your phone."

W: "What harm can it do to reset the printer config?"

Me: "OK but I can't see what good a reset will do..."

Wife: "Oooh it's working now look, it's printed my stuff!"

( *grumble* bloody women, bloody well always right....bloody well get back to kitchen... *grumble* )

3
0

Land Rover Defender dies: Production finally halted by EU rules

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

Some happy memories and one very sad one

Remember going out for days with my Mum in her long wheelbased Defender, sipping flask tea while watching the drizzle run down the windows, happy times. The Land Rover had a heating system that would either freeze you or give you heat burns, perfect for a freezing cold Winter trip.

Sadly my Mum slipped from the back of her Land Rover at the age of 63, broke her leg which caused a massive stroke when a blood clot moved from the break, took my Dad about 5 years before he could part with her old Land Rover.

15
0

UK.gov plans to unveil a new Digital Bill

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Digital

Just make sure they work the word "cyber" in there a least 4 times in every paragraph and they're golden!

4
0

Feds slap Rentboy.com boss with further charges

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Oh come on! These people cannot be so daft to assume the name was chosen merely for it's humorous appeal and ability to climb the search engine rankings?!!

2
0

Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Brilliant

What kind of DVD extras do we get?

"Making of..."

Torture of the artist as they go through the pain and anguish of selecting the right wall.

The artist at B&Q till buying paint, did they select Dulux or did they go for an inferior product like Crown or worse, that B&Q own brand cack?

Artist select correct grade roller and paint tray.

Finally the application to the wall itself.

Alternative endings?

12
1

Lincolnshire council shuts down all IT after alleged 0-day breach

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Cheers....( Note to self, important Word and Excel docs, no doubt containing full DB dumps of sensitive data, all on G drive once I'm inside network.... )

10
0

Gov must hire 'thousands' of techies to rescue failing projects

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

Re: not a chance

"As an IT bod in Gov. (rather a well run section actually - all in house) may I just say - Ah-haa-haa-haa-haa"

The one thing that does wonders for an IT techie working in Government projects is to meet the few external contractors that are brought in. The Gov IT bods suddenly realise they're as good as the contractors and wonder why they hadn't thought of ditching the Gov pay packet in favour of contracting or full time in the private sector, either way the pay is far more reasonable given the time they've invested in their talent.

4
0
Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

Re: arcane code...

C++ standards have changed over the years but people rarely do move with the standard. So many people simply flip on the "use deprecated feature" flags when they're coding and you're then left with a pile of tripe that has to be maintained.

3
0
Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Sounds about right. I worked for the Gov IT for a few year in the early 90's and failing projects, or at the very least over budget and overdue, seemed to be almost factored in at the planning stage!

I worked one project and they needed a few Ops, just to run a few batch jobs and check log files. The job spec they put out said "IT/Computer Science graduate required for IT role.". It was only the insistence of my boss at the time, to her boss ( the one who came up with the ad ), that saw the top boss go to HR and scale it back to simply "IT bod required with Ops experience."! What's the point in hiring the wrong people, they will turn up get bored and bugger off after 5 minutes leaving the project delayed 'cos of the constant retraining of inappropriate staff.

3
0

Facebook Messenger: All your numbers are belong to us

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Pint

Re: Errrrrrmmmmmm...

Indeed, anyone with half a brain will take one look at the requirements of that nasty little app ( both on Android and iOS) and realise their life will no longer be their own after installing it! I use FB to keep in contact with family and fellow photographers but I'm damned if I'll ever install any of FB's nasty pieces of malware masquerading as mobile apps.

25
0

Microsoft: We’ve taken down the botnets. Europol: Would Sir like a kill switch, too?

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Just wait for the first bug and the "bad guys" find the kill switch API, the script kiddies have a new fun toy to play with!

9
0

Friends Reunited to shut down. What do you mean, 'is it still going?'

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

FR was full of people you didn't like, boasting about stuff they hadn't really done and continuing to make dicks of themselves just like they did when you had to put up with them 6 hours a day at school!

18
0

Stop, look, listen: Don't be 2016's DevOps roadkill – here's how to survive

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: lost me at every turn

"Patch-O-Li", that's the oily stuff Hippies used to rub into leather jackets isn't it?

0
0

It's Wikipedia mythbuster time: 8 of the best on your 15th birthday

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

I find none of these facts to be any great surprise. It's technically a charity/business/trust so it's fairly obvious that like any organisation there's going to be certain ideologies that they lean towards, certain practices are going to be less than squeaky clean. All CEO's claim to be spotless, PR is their job, so again no surprise to find fighting amongst the top bods in an organisation. I would expect them to have running costs and therefore reasonable liquid cash assets, servers and people's time is not free. For example, they also run competitions in the various areas they require quality material, they offer cash prizes which has to come from somewhere, I won one of their photo competitions a few years back and the prize was a very nice sum of money that allowed me to buy some new camera kit.

3
2

Old jet bits, Vader's motorbike gear, sonic oddness: Hats off to Star Wars' creative heroes

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Happy

Road works compressors!

If you look at the scene where Luke and Obi first get to the MF hanger, there are two large yellow pods with ducts coming from them. They look exactly like the compressors that road work crews used in the 1970's to power their kango hammers and other tools when digging up the nation's highways!

1
0

What do Angolan rebels, ISIS widows, Metallica and a photographer have in common?

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Murdered?

The media language of propaganda these days is utterly ridiculous.

"Pacifying Falujah" - Bombing large Eastern town back to the stone age.

"Civilian casualties" - Innocent people killed

"Liquidation" - People killed.

"Expedited removal" - People killed faster.

5
1

Late night server rebuild led to 'nightmares about mutilated corpses'

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Devil

I distinctly remember myself and a lot of mates who played the original DOOM when it came out, started having very worrying dreams. Nothing horrendous but it was such a novelty at the time so we played it a lot, we even played it at work after hours. Despite it being very pixelated, your mind tends to smooth images and fill in the gaps and it did turn a lot of us off gaming for quite a while. The mind is a very sensitive machine and should be looked after carefully.

15
0

Boozing is unsafe at ‘any level’, thunders chief UK.gov quack

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Gimp

Bollocks! If I fancy a beer, I shall bloody well have a beer! If I fancy a few shots of something nasty, I shall have a few shots of some vile coloured liquid.

I'm a middle aged adult, I know that when my head starts to get a little fuzzy it's time to hit the lemonade for a round or two until it subsides. When I was a youngster I enjoyed the novelty of the fuzziness and even pushed things a little further because at that age I had no experience of what real life was like, I thought I was immortal. Now I have grown older I know I am not and thus my common sense comes to bear with anything dangerous, be it a knife, a power tool or a pint of chemicals that will pickle my innards!

Take your nanny state and stick it up your arse! I'm a human being and I want to feel emotion and pain in my otherwise humdrum and quite dull 9-5 life, just to remind me that I am a real, living, breathing, thinking person with needs and wants. The gimp mask, 'cos pain is close to pleasure and a good playful beating from the Missus let's me know we're both very much alive and kicking!!

23
1
Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Coat

I throw my caution to the wind last week, ended up with wet trousers!

3
1

British bureaucrats are world's most social-media-tastic

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Heywood sounds like the very definition of a government tech obsessed "cyber twat" who's goes to bed each night crying into his Mark Zuckerberg pillow case and Steve Jobs duvet cover, 'cos he wasn't part of the Silicon Valley elite 30 years ago, yet still struggles to sync his music collection from his iPad with iTunes!

5
0

Foetuses offered vaginal music streaming service

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Unhappy

Well it's not all complete BS. When my Missus was pregnant 15 years ago, there was a distinct increase in movement and squirming from young sprog in the womb when my Missus played in the U2 and a distinct lack of interest in anything classical. However my daughter now likes (C)Rap and R&B and none of the rock and metal I like, so I blame my Missus for putting my daughter off decent music!

0
0

Reverser laments crypto game protection, says wares dead after 2018

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

Re: Just works

"the last action of the publisher before shutting down their auth servers was to release a patch that removed the drm from the game enabling people that have purchased the game to continue playing if they wish."

That will never happen. The Abandonware and Retro scenes have plenty of cases where the ownership of some old product, sometimes upwards of 25 years old, is still held by some company and they've enforced their ownership by way of take down notices and in court summons in some extreme cases. Nintendo are particularly vicious in regard to their ownership. Nintendo software is one of the few systems that a lot of "legit" retro sites will not deal with as they know that the big N's lawyers will come down on them hard, and for most it's just a hobby sharing some naff old software no one wants anymore. Companies hold the rights just in case they can monetize it again in future. How many companies or individuals are are making money with old Spectrum software by releasing it through mobile phone emulators, etc.

3
1

Compuware promises mainframe DevOps as old programmers croak

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Pint

I've seen more Cobol video training courses appearing on some sites. I'd never tried it before so I had a wee play and I quite like Cobol. Yes it's an ugly bugger but my first serious coding experience was with procedural SQL code about 20 years ago, so Cobol doesn't scare me at all, not like it might scare those who've only ever prayed at the alter of OOP.

4
3

BBC News website takes New Year's Eve break

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Gimp

The joys of outsourcing

So what do you reckon, some muppets decided to start patching some systems at the exact time of year when most people are off on their Xmas break?

( Gimp, 'cos there's some poor bugger in the IT team being severely rodgered right now! )

6
2

Cache-astrophic: Why Valve's Steam store spewed players' private profiles to strangers

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

Re: Good idea.

I'm glad it wasn't just me. I got a nice shiny XB1 off the Missus and it took me about 90 mins to download the patches and fixes for the 2 games I'd asked for! Since then I've had another game update which took something like 25 minutes to download and update, I'm on a VM 150Mb so I know it's not my end of the pipe that's slow.

Harks back to the days of the old Speccy where you'd wait 20 mins to play a game!

2
0

The Infamous Eight: 2015's memes, themes and big pieces

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: 2016?

Brilliant! You should get that over to Redbubble and get some t-shirts knocked up. Possibly with the picture of a sheep in flagrante.

1
0

What did we learn today? Microsoft has patented the slider bar

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: *Design* Patent

More or less what I gathered without even reading it, another "click bait" story to encourage mock outrage from people who haven't calmed the feck down for 5 seconds and had a sensible think about it.

3
5
Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Happy

I once read that if you find the speed of your spreadsheet calculations cause you to need to make a coffee while you wait for them, that's the sign that it's time to dump your spreadsheet and move to a proper database.

31
4

Debian Linux founder Ian Murdock dead at 42

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

42

42 is not an age to pass on, at 42 your life is really only getting started. Very tragic.

5
0

Google probes AVG Chrome widget after 9m users exposed by bugs

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

AVG has always been a piece of cack, up there with Norton Security, a bloated system hog with a zero credibility and now a liability to boot.

1
1

Cat fight: Watch out YouTube, here comes Facebook

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

Facebook stats, pah!

The only reason FB video stats are up is 'cos they autoplay as you scroll down your feed.

43
0

I have you now! Star Wars stocking fillers from another age

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Ah yes...

OH FOR THE LOVE OF....How many times are people going to spell it incorrectly?

It's R-O-G-U-E...you pronounce it "row-g". As is gone-off-the-rails, a delinquent, someone or something that abandons the perceived norm.

It's not R-O-U-G-E ( "roo-shz" ) which is something your granny would have smeared on her fizzog to get US soldiers to pay attention to her!

1
0

Upset Microsoft stashes hard drive encryption keys in OneDrive cloud?

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

Re: How dare you...

'Is "switching your computer on" still a thing? '

I assume kicking it awake from the sleep state is included in that statement.

2
0

Here – here is that 'hoverboard' you've wanted so much. Look at it. Look. at. it.

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Hmmmm

Anyone else hear Huey Lewis playing in their head when they read/watched this article?!

1
0

Oklahoma bloke cuffed for Chrimbo caprine coupling

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

Re: I knew I shouldn't have clicked on this story

"Mini pole". Look it's not my fault darling, it's just been a bit cold at night lately!

4
0

Password-less database 'open-sources' 191m US voter records on the web

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

Re: Why can't we get a takedown notice for this?

As a_yank_lurker has stated, it's the info aggregation that's the real issue.

No, there's nothing illegal with people knowing my name and address, I give that out to all and sundry, be my guest. However the problem starts when that's not enough, when they add sexual orientation, political affiliation, previous crime involvements, social security IDs, financial history, current financial status, previous relationships and let's not forget about the UK Gov's need to add previous years internet site visits, mobile phone calls and text messages.

In 10 years time I won't need to spend a week or two assembling a database of identities to rip off, I can simply login into My-DBA-Is-A-Fecking-Moron.net and snag myself a million 100% complete identities and make a bit of cash in a few minutes. Heck if that's too much work, I can just see how many of those I can blackmail and watch the cash roll in!

6
0
Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge

Re: What's the concern?

OK, suppose my details have been protected by a court order but somehow got mixed up in this mess? As you hint at, domestic abuse and organised crime affiliations could be compromised and next thing there's innocent families caught up in this mess all because one sloppy person doesn't bother to buy a "Databases for Dummies" book and find out the bare minimum about how security should work on a database.

9
0
Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Happy

Re: face palm

Plus the demands of security services to have backdoors and "crack-on-demand" requirements for all encryption software....

Sing along with me, "It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!"

6
2

China wants encryption cracked on demand because ... er, terrorism

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Superb idea!

With a heavy dose of sarcasm....when all the software in the world has a "Crack on Demand" API built into it, unicorns will dance in Times Square and there will be love and rainbows everywhere as the bad guys will be able to be found with amazing ease by anyone able to use a keyboard and mouse. The world will be a be beautiful place of openness, happiness and joy!

12
0

Robotic exoskeleton market to grow 40 per cent a year until 2025

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Mushroom

Oh so you mean Power Armor?

I for one welcome out Brotherhood of Steel defenders with their Power Armor and obsession with gathering and perserving technologies, we'll be grateful when the Super Mutants and feral Ghouls start trying to take over large parts of Reading and the southern counties!

3
0

Java 9 delayed until Thursday March 23rd, 2017, just after tea-time

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Pint

Re: Friends don't let friends install Java.

"In that role it is way safer than C or C++."

Nothing wrong with C++ if you treat with respect and learn to use it safely. Modern C++ is far easier and has many more safeguards baked in than it used to. Any language can blow your foot off if you let it, it's just that C++ comes with a ready loaded and cocked gun, the trick is to disarm it before you use it!

5
0
Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

C++ 17

Around the same time as the next CPP major point is due for the release. ( Yeah, right! )

0
0

Death Stars are a waste of time – here's the best way to take over the galaxy

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

"You can thus build a factory, that can build robots.."

Well duh! Of course your can, didn't you own the "Droid Factory"(tm) when you were a kid? All those spare bits that got lost and still only managed to make 3 types of droids!

1
0

New HTTP error code 451 to signal censorship

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Facepalm

Oh yes, ISPs blocking Pirate Bay and many other torrent indexers, that only takes the addition of the a five letter word beginning with "P" to be suffixed in the website search and you're back on your merry way to "warez" nirvana.

1
0

Facepalm time: MS Office update wipes custom Word autotext

Amorous Cowherder
Silver badge
Headmaster

Hold on there bub

Lotus 123 wasn't a suite, it was a single application. Lotus Symphony was a suite...well, of sorts.

The only problem you'll have with your copy of Lotus 123 is finding a floppy drive so you can enable the copy protection. 123 had copy protection on the floppy, you have "install" the copy protection from the floppy to the HD copy in order to run it. Then "deinstall" to put it back to the floppy. I had a little bit of a pocket money earner at college, ripping out copy protection from software that my fellow students wanted to share among themselves back in the late 1980s.

0
0

Page:

Forums