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* Posts by Larry Crapbeans

216 posts • joined 22 Jun 2012

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Half of Twitter's 'active users' are SILENT STALKERS

Larry Crapbeans

44 per cent of the world's 974 million Twitter accounts have never even sent a tweet

Then if you remove the 20% that are spambots and the 5% that just tweet about one direction and justice beaver you are still left with an impressive active userbase, but nowhere near as big as the claimed figure that was used to prop up the IPO.

Even though there are signs they are amending the site to 'monetize it' I really can't see where twitter will make their money. Slight profits are possible, but a lot of investors are going to get burnt.

No doubt Zukerburg will hoover it up for a couple of billion worth of Facebook stock toilet roll in a couple of years and start charging people for the 'privilege' to tweet a Kardashian or a Hilton

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Hotmail-gate: Windows 8 code leaker pleads guilty to theft of trade secrets

Larry Crapbeans

"Hotmail-gate"

I think you'll find it is now called Live.com sorry outlook.com

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FINALLY Microsoft releases Office for iPad – but wait there's a CATCH

Larry Crapbeans

beginning of the end or the end of the beginning?

Microsoft are pouring money into sinkholes like Surface and the acquisition of Nokia, so they can be like Apple in the respect that they control the software and the hardware then at the same time they are now looking at cross platform solutions in mobile, because quite frankly the horse has bolted, competed in the grand national and been shot.... They just seem to lack a clear strategy of what they see themselves as and are trying to dip their toes in every water even in this offering, which has the Office in the cloud lock in for editing documents...

They need to pick a vision and stick to it. Personally I think they are in for a hiding trying to make their own hardware offerings. The amount of money that they have rinsed on brainless ideas is astonishing I don't know how the shareholders put up with it... If this takes off on iPad then that cannibalises their other offerings like ARM Surface devices. It's like Microsoft are competing internally instead of working together to offer a realistic alternative to Google and Apple..

18
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MtGox finds 200,000 Bitcoin in old wallets

Larry Crapbeans

Cowboys, Ted! They're a bunch of cowboys! Oh, God

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MH370 airliner MYSTERY: The El Reg Pub/Dinner-party Guide

Larry Crapbeans

Re: "Disillusioned pilot possibly with a political motive"

I'm not sure how leaving behind a mystery advances any political motive much?

If he puts it down in the water on the normal route it'd have been found within hours / days and there would not be anywhere near as much news coverage as we are getting. Rolling news channels by their very nature are quick to move on to the next tragedy once they've got all the mileage out of the current story.

As it is because nobody has the faintest idea of where it is due to his elusive actions and change of course we are now into what the 11th day? of worldwide media coverage where papers and rolling news channels are digging through the pilots life story and revealing that he supported a certain political party, the leader of which was recently jailed, which the pilot may of found unjust. If the plane had been found within 24 - 48 hours I doubt there would be all this media coverage on the rolling news channels still and they wouldn't have got as far as mentioning the fact he was an avid supporter of a man who was jailed for simply being gay in 2014...

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Larry Crapbeans

Re: Why could they turn everything off?

One thing which has been bothering me - is there any good reason why the pilots should be able to turn off all comms and transponders?

If one of these things starts spewing smoke then the circuit breaker is there to kill the electrics and whatever is causing the issue before a full scale fire / fault breaks out. However to disable these things isn't easy and indicates that it was definitely the pilot or co-pilot who carried out the action..

As much as the media are hoping for a grand conspiracy theory and that the plane is landed safely in a muslim country ready to be kitted out with a nuke and sent off to some unsuspecting city the logical answer is sadly a lot more simple and tragic.

Disillusioned pilot possibly with a political motive slips his co-pilot a mickey finn disables all the tracking gear turns the plane around takes it up to 45,000 feet nose dives it and then puts it in the drink hundreds of miles away from where he knows search crews will be looking

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Bitcoin bust litigants fling sueballs at Japanese bank

Larry Crapbeans

Says it all

the former Magic-the-Gathering card trading operation, the complainants say, it “aided in a fraud”.

Apt name. They gathered all the bitcoins and then like magic they were gone...

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Roll up, roll up for the Commentards' Ball

Larry Crapbeans

A chance to drink a london boozer dry while someone else is in the chair for the bill? Can't believe people would turn that opportunity down!!

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Winklevoss twins say their Bitcoins will take them to SPAAAAACE

Larry Crapbeans

Cameron: Hey Tyler give them bitcoins to Sir Richard

Tyler: Er what bitcoins Cameron?

Cameron: You know the ones I gave you to look after...

Tyler: Oohhh those bitcoins... Don't worry they are in MtGox I just need to sign in and send the money across....

Sir Richard: Err I do take payments by cheque as well boys...

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Brit Bitcoin dev: I lost 'over £200k' when MtGox popped its socks

Larry Crapbeans

Dwight Schrute: What is the ratio of Stanley Nickels to Schrute Bucks?

Stanley: The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.

Just delete unicorns / leprechauns as applicable and insert bitcoin / litecoin / dodgecoin / whatevercoin

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Hundreds of folks ready to sue Bitcoin exchange MtGox

Larry Crapbeans

Lawsuit settled

The owners should agree to settle the lawsuit by paying the people suing them in a new secure crypto currency called MuppetCoins. Here's your pay off in MuppetCoins now pick the bones out of this -

63211C8F5E0BF07DA1ADF4A4738D62D2E875E5BD777D2E05B1AF73382BCF9C3B

84C39F39F668E984229ED5FE2BC70BA08AC3CCE8625D0D2229FF8065AEF0AC7F

575C5DB58D73F0C1C0B99B558E49606115E68A810277B930299F6AB644696F9C

Don't forget to store them in the online exchange that has the best looking website, but more backdoors than B&Q....

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Bitcoin bank Flexcoin pulls plug after cyber-robbers nick $610,000

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Your numbers are gone

If you compare bitcoin to a fiat currency -where it too has no real value, and then consider that the currency is printed out of thin air, digital currencies neither have more or less legitimacy than the dollar/euro

I'm sick of hearing this argument. You may as well compare bitcoin to a fiat 500. The fiat 500 is more useful than bitcoins though unless you've previously signed her majestys nonce jotter in which case bitcoin is useful to you judging by a recent article on here.

It's a brilliant scam people launch these exchanges run them legitimately then run off with the 'currency' which can't be traced due to the nature of the way it has been set up and then cry that they've been hacked.

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Satya Nadella shakes up Microsoft, appoints 'Scroogled' man Mark Penn as strategy chief

Larry Crapbeans

His group’s goals include creating world-class advertising and messaging to consumers and business customers delivered through the most cost-effective and scientific means available.

Ah yes who can forget world class advertising such as this iPhone funeral when Windows Phone was announced -

http://images.dailytech.com/nimage/16584_funeral_1.jpg

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Samsung brandishes quad-core Galaxy S5, hopes nobody wants high specs

Larry Crapbeans

meh

I like the look of the Galaxy Gear Fit I think I'll definitely be buying one of them if the price is right and it works with the S4, but there's not enough about the S5 to make me consider upgrading from my S4. The waterproof / dust proof aspect is good, but you could get a waterproof S4, so it's just a merging of two models, which Samsung needed to do as they are in danger of having too many Galaxy models.

Still only 16gb or 32gb models is disappointing. I know it's got micro SD, but you'd think we'd be up to 64gb as standard by now. Not everyone wants to do everything in the cloud.

Anyone know if this updated version of Touchwiz for Android 4.4 will be coming to the S4 or if we'll get Kitkat, but with the old Touchwiz still in place?

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Life support's ABOUT to be switched off, but XP's suddenly COOL again

Larry Crapbeans

RE: I'll say it again

on the other hand none of them have had any security problems.

I bet that's what Barclays thought too

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Murdoch's BSkyB stares down Microsoft: Redmond renames SkyDrive to OneDrive

Larry Crapbeans

Finally

It's not truly a Microsoft product until it's gone through a name change. I wonder if they'll rebrand it again when the Xbox One 2 comes out?

Microsofts branding and product portfolio has always been all over the place, but they seem to be getting worse. Google were quite bad at that for a while too, but they seem to have sorted themselves out even if some of the decisions to do that have been controversial.

I originally signed up for a Windows Live email account through their website hotmail.com and a good few months back I had an option to migrate my address to @Outlook.com instead. I figured I'd go for the Outlook address as I preferred it to the live address, so clicked the link to migrate my mailbox across. It isn't an important account just a throwaway MS account that I use for MSDN / Xbox live. I signed into MSDN and Xbox live no problem with my new @outlook.com address, so everything was great or so I thought. My partner recently tried to email me at the outlook.com address and it turns out that it isn't a valid email address and messages just get bounced back... The live.com address still works though, but outlook.com lets me sign into xbox and MSDN? All very bizarre

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HOT AIR-FILLED Apple fanbois SHUNNED iPad 2 at Xmas

Larry Crapbeans
Facepalm

Re: Wait a minute...

An iWatch? But, ...but surely that would be BLATANTLY RIPPING OFF SAMSUNG, wouldn't it? And the super-innovative fruity ones would never steal other people's intellectual property, would they?

No, that can't possibly be true.

It'll take a few days for the register to catch up, but a lot of sites are running with a source citing that the new Samsung Galaxy S5 will be announced this April with a...... fingerprint scanner...... But, ...but surely that would be BLATANTLY RIPPING OFF APPLE, wouldn't it? And the super-innovative Korean ones would never steal other people's intellectual property, would they?

No, that can't possibly be true

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Chinese Moon rover, lander duo wake up after two-week snooze

Larry Crapbeans

Re: I'm surprised that in 2014...

Perhaps when Britain can put a camera in orbit, much less one on the Moon, you can select one of the quality you'd like....

http://hackaday.com/2012/07/18/sending-a-raspberry-pi-to-130000-feet/

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BlackBerry CEO: I LOVE keyboards, so if you want them, you'll get them

Larry Crapbeans

N900

I'd buy a Blackberry if it had a slide down keyboard and touch screen similar to the N900, but with a good HD display and the ability to sideload Android apps. I think that could be a real winner.

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Coca Cola slurps millions of MAC addresses

Larry Crapbeans

Re: They already have PCs in their vending machines.

I happen to know that the newer vending machines (known as Freestyle) already have an MS windows PC in them. They are even managed by Microsoft SCCM.

If these things contain PCs running Windows it may explain why they struggle to produce a can below room temperature...

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Microsoft tries to trademark 'Mod' in the US

Larry Crapbeans

MODODO

They should've went for MODODO Microsoft Office / Operating DODO. Sounds vaguely African too so they might get some of the peed off Ubuntu crowd

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Tube be or not tube be: Apple’s CYLINDRICAL Mac Pro is out tomorrow

Larry Crapbeans

Re: it does look different

Vertical cylinder with single 120/140/160mm fan on top, bottom or in the middle, with filtered air intake at bottom and exhaust at top is a quite obvious design for single fan PC. I had this in mind at least as far back as 2005 -- there's nothing special about the idea, IMHO. Crucial factor is quality of implementation though, and I doubt Apple are able to pull it.

Hey Johnny... It's your cousin.... Ramazan.... Ramazan Ive... You know that new futuristic design you were looking for that isn't based on a Braun shaver from the sixties? Well have a listen to this!!!

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Apple iPhone 5s still world's top-selling smartphone – report

Larry Crapbeans

Nokia

Good to see two Nokia devices on there... Interesting that neither of them run Windows Phone

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Ballmer: 'We made more money than almost anybody on the PLANET'

Larry Crapbeans
Devil

BALLMER: 'WE MADE MORE MONEY THAN ALMOST ANYBODY ON THE PLANET'

and set the IT industry back by twenty years

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Got a one-of-a-kind N9? Get ready to adopt Meego's baby Sailfish

Larry Crapbeans

The OS looks quite impressive they could have a decent Android alternative on their hands here. Hardware wise I'd be tempted to swtich if they did an up to date N900 with a bigger screen with a retina style display and the slide out keyboard...

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It's true, the START MENU is coming BACK to Windows 8, hiss sources

Larry Crapbeans

Re: I had to Google how to find the Control Panel...

I managed to find the control panel by using Windows key and R then typing for it, but bugger me if I could find out how to shut the damn thing down... "Oh just close the laptop lid" my niece helpfully said... "that's the only way it switches off". She'd only be using it for 5 months though....

One thing I didn't get in the article was this bit -

The idea appears to be that Microsoft will tailor slightly different versions of its operating system for different audiences, rather than the one-size-fits-all approach it tried when it launched the touch-driven Windows 8.

Microsofts current OS approach is far from a one size fits all. Yes the interface may be similar and the kernels all morphing to the same standard, but the runtimes are different and rarely compatible between RT / Phone / Full fat and that is a nightmare for developers.

Whoever takes over needs to make some big and brave decisions. They need to pick a course and stick to it instead of this half assed approach we've seen over recent years. They never even got close to their write once run anywhere dream.

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Asus Transformer Book T100: Xbox One? PS4? Nah, get a cute convertible for Christmas

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Sounded really promising

Unlikely, the T100 is one of the first with Bay Trail and certainly the first Transformer, I suspect you might be thinking of Clover Trail. Bay Trail is quad core as opposed to Clover's dual and significantly better in almost every way.

I think you've been wooshed. I'm assuming it was a popular culture reference to a movie series...

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Larry Crapbeans

Re: MicroUSB Charging

I had a T3000 for a couple of weeks. That was as long as the charger lasted. I love the concept of the product and it's good to see they've finally released an x86 version. Hopefully it won't be too difficult to get Linux running on one of these things

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Samsung to spend ENTIRE budget of London 2012 OLYMPICS... on ADS

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Branding

I agree with you I got an advert on facebook before (I know I know) from a company I won't name (lets just say they sell carphones from a pretty big warehouse) and they were advertising a 'Samsung Galaxy Fame' and a free Samsung 7 inch galaxy tablet for only 16 quid a month and you didn't have to pay an upfront cost.

Fantastic I thought then it hit me. I've seen loads of promotions where Samsung are literally giving away these tablets and I've never came across anyone who owns a Galaxy tablet. The Galaxy Fame didn't look that decent too from what I could make out the screen looked on a par with an iPhone 3G, but for 16 quid a month for both someone will get a fantastic deal, but it did make me think that they are spreading this Galaxy line far too thin.

I went with the Galaxy S4 last time round purely because it was the phone that fitted all my needs rather than marketing hype. I must admit it is my first Galaxy phone and it will be my last. After going from a Nexus 4 to this the Android 'experience' is shocking. I just wish I could be bothered to back it all up and put the Google Play Edition ROM on it

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Larry Crapbeans

Re: To put it into perspective ...

Put another way, they are spending the equivalent of the entire gross domestic product of Jamaica (or Iceland) on adverts. Or the arms budget of Israel, or the UK foreign aid budget.

Well done your subliminal advertising has worked. I want fifteen pints of Red Stripe now

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Samsung hauls in chiefs for 'CRISIS awareness' confab – report

Larry Crapbeans

Samsung Galaxy S5

The reason they are having a crisis meeting is because they need to figure out how they can implement a finger print sensor on the Galaxy S5 when it has a rectangular button... And I own an S4

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Microsoft hires Pawn Stars to shaft Google

Larry Crapbeans

Re: RT?

Surface RT is NOT a laptop, but a TABLET first of all which you can attach a keyboard to

I know which is why I quite clearly said - "This Surface RT isn't a real laptop,"

Do a google image search on surface RT. Sorry do a bing image search on Surface RT... With the Google one 95% of the results returned show it with a keyboard. It is a tablet masquerading as a laptop

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Larry Crapbeans

Re: RT?

"This Surface RT isn't a real laptop," one says. "It doesn't have Windows it has RT which uses a titled interface, it has a half assed Office that runs like a dog. Without Wi-Fi those pretty tiles don't do much at all unless you suffer from epilepsy and when you are online, Microsoft sends you to bing and outlook. That's how you get Microshafted"

Joking aside though I think this is a pretty pathetic campaign. Chromebooks are aimed at people like my dear old ma who doesn't want to have to contend with AV scans / malware scans and installing Windows updates she just wants to be able to browse the web and use email and keep in touch with the grandkids.

Yeah it's a brick without a broadband connection, but in the last two years I can safely say I've lost less time to broadband not working than I have to Windows updates and all that other rubbish. Windows is just too complex for the average punter that the chromebook is aimed at and while a dumbed down RT went some of the way to resolve this issue it appears that it is about to be taken out the back and shot.

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DEATH-PROOF your old XP netbook: 5 OSes to bring it back to life

Larry Crapbeans

I loved my netbook, but regardless of what distro you put on it this will be the falling down point -

1024 x 576-pixel 10.1-inch screen

EasyPeasy was one of the better distros I came across, but it's been discontinued and despite being aimed at netbooks there was an issue where the menu wouldn't fit on the screen fully.

I don't understand how the likes of Google can produce the Nexus 7 with a fantastic screen resolution that you can touch, but no company could turn out a netbook with anywhere close to a 'retina' screen. Shame they've been killed off I thought they were brilliant little machines

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Hello! Still here! Surface 2! Way better than iPad! says slightly desperate Microsoft

Larry Crapbeans

Actually I think the opposite. I think a company that does name their competitors in an attempt to belittle them is a company that is acknowledging that their competitor is far in front saleswise,

I agree. Instead of just ripping Apple / Google in their adverts give me a compelling reason to buy a surface give me a compelling reason to switch to live.c sorry outlook.com. Don't just say 'Google reads your email!!' and hide the fact that they hand over your data to the NSA without a fight...

It's pathetic behaviour of a company that's struggling for ideas. I like the concept of the surface and briefly had a Asus Transformer, but the hardware was poor and I took it back and I was tempted by the original surface, but the weight and the amount of space Windows took up on the basic model put me off straight away. Yes I know it has USB ports, but that makes it less mobile in my book.

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Larry Crapbeans

Ah yes the iPad killer that requires a kickstand and a cover come keyboard to be of any use...

Classic Microsoft they just miss the point completely. They make a tablet and then recommend putting it on it's kick stand? I may as well buy a better spec'd laptop for the price they want for one of these things.

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Microsoft: SORRY for the BORKED Xbox One disc drives, here's a free game

Larry Crapbeans

Doesn't look good

Just checked amazon and while they have 96 five star reviews for the console they also have 50 one star reviews out of 187. Lots of people reporting faulty units that need to be returned. By the time they get a replacement a free game might not appease them.

Be interesting to see how that fairs compared to the PS4. I really don't know what console to go for in this generation. They seem quite similar in specs, but it seems like the Xbox has more media and extra features compared to the PS4, but the PS4 is cheaper.

It's a shame both of them seem to be suffering from quality control issues. Smacks of them being rushed to the market too quickly. I wonder how long it is before Sony revise the design and release a console that irons out their rumoured issues...

1
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City of London cops ARREST 6 suspected to be MICROSOFT COUNTERFEIT RING

Larry Crapbeans

100k

Would microsoft have even paid tax on that 100k? Or would it have been creatively managed to the point where we'd be no better off than we were with the criminals shifting these products

1
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ZTE becomes latest to cuff self to smartwatch bandwagon

Larry Crapbeans

Galaxy Gear

I fully expect Samsung to give away the Galaxy Gear watch with their next generation of devices. They reacted to the rumours of the iWatch too quickly and put together a product that doesn't solve any problems just yet.

I like the idea of a smartwatch but I see nothing out there that is compelling enough to put up with poor battery life and a screen that won't be all that in direct sunlight

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Spotify reckons it's worth $4 BILLION - and Netflix investor agrees

Larry Crapbeans

Whispa

If it looks like a bubble smells like a bubble and tastes like a bubble it's usually a bubble...

1
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French Joli OS surrenders on the desktop, retreats to cloud

Larry Crapbeans

that conceptually resembles Chrome OS, inasmuch as offers not much more than a browser and a persistent desktop that offers shortcuts to, and a launcher for, your preferred web apps.

I used this around 2009 / 2010 it also had a spotify client which you could install using the help of WINE. It was a brilliant idea and a godsend for my netbook, but there were just too many rough edges that never looked like getting sorted.

It's a shame as I'd really like something which lets me access all of my cloud Apps in SSB's but also lets me keep some things installed locally. Chome OS doesn't cut it and I can't find an up to date SSB for Linux or OS X that is any good. Mozilla Prism was great, but that was discontinued

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Bill Gates orders HITMAN to KILL right-hand man STEVE BALLMER

Larry Crapbeans

Goobacks

Goobacks is the greatest episode ever. A fantastic satirical piece on immigration that somehow manages to make people see sense over the whole issue despite is going from the obsurd (time portal) to the brilliant (their spoof of rolling news channels where everything is micro analysed by a different reporter in a different location) to the downright ****ing hilarious - EVERYONE BACK ON THE PILE!!!

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Google deletes Maps satellite photos of 14-year-old's unsolved murder

Larry Crapbeans

In fairness, while CCTV doesn't directly make you safer necessarily, it does help secure conviction against criminals, which indirectly drives down crime in the long run

What a load of rubbish. Any convictions it secures are negated by the fact that the sentancing is a joke and more and more serious crimes are seeing jail time served reducing rather than increasing caused by amongst other things overcrowded jails. Crime isn't been driven down the jails are overcrowded and the government statistics misleading and that's before you take into account the amount of people who feel it's not worth the stress or hassle to push for a conviction because they are being made to feel like the villain by the likes of the police

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Ballmer: Microsoft stronger without Bing and Xbox tinkering

Larry Crapbeans

"Just take a look at Xbox One… no other company could have delivered what we are delivering with Xbox One. It is a reflection of what’s possible.”

Apart from Sony....

He should feel queasy about the Skype acquisition too. Some of their purchases smack of 'well we have the money so lets buy it and we'll figure out how to make money from it down the line'.

Bing needs to be spun off and they need to pick a path. They are stretching themselves too hard to cover hardware and the Google service / software model. He says they are working together as one big team under a single strategy, but the sad truth is their strategy is all over the shop there is clearly no direction. How many re brands have their products and services gone through and there is still no unified and easily identifiable portfolio

Hotmail.com

Microsoft Network

Windows Passport

Live.com

Outlook.com

And I'm probably missing a few not forgetting Windows Live Search then Bing!

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Apple's secret 12.9-inch MONSTER needs a good fondle, say biz sources

Larry Crapbeans

Wow. It's been several years already and there are still people who have yet to learn that an iOS/Android platform is not the same animal as a full OS. And no, making a screen bigger is no substitute. Perhaps it will take a few more years for reality to sink in.

Apple are good at one thing it is letting other companies take the first steps and then slipstreaming them with a better more refined product - iPod, iPhone, -iPad

Where can they go from here? The iWatch won't happen as the market is still in it's infancy. I think they will take the idea of a hybrid device like Microsoft, HP and Asus have all tried and blow them out of the water again. A Retina Macbook Air form factor with a 12.9 inch touch screen running on an ARM chip with incredible battery life that can detach to become an iPad would sell like hotcakes.

You say that iOS is not the same animal as a full OS and I totally agree. Apple could easily compile OS X for ARM and I've no doubt that it is already running on ARM in one of their R&D labs somewhere. They have added lots of features to OS X to make it more iOS like and stuff like the launchpad gives OS X the touch screen interface it would need to make this useful on a tablet.

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Larry Crapbeans

According to a report in the Korea Times, Apple has placed an order for 12.9-inch high-resolution panels with a South Korean display manufacturer

Couldn't be for a 12.9 inch Retina Macbook Air running on an ARM chip could it?!

3
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PlayStation 4 BLUE LIGHT OF DEATH blamed on power cords, TV sets, butterflies in China

Larry Crapbeans
Facepalm

What a joke

"TV compatibility issues"

My HD TV is about 6 years old and not a sony and I almost bought a PS4. Glad I've waited now because I'm fairly certain I can't upgrade the firmware on my TV and if it didn't work and I was essentially told you need a new TV for a device that might not even do 4K gaming I'd be furious.

This looks like a major screw up on Sonys part and it would take something monumentally bad from Microsoft to top this. It looks like despite being bigger bulkier and worse on paper that the xbox is going to win purely based on PR spin. This bad publicity could damage sony

1
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Woz: Google Glass will be SO COOL... just like BLUETOOTH

Larry Crapbeans

Re: On the spectrum of coolness

And much lower on the spectrum, there are people who make fun of him because he uses a bum bag.

I think you'll find it's pronounced fanny pack

1
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Classic telly FX tech: How the Tardis flew before the CGI era

Larry Crapbeans

It's amazing...

What the BBC could do in the 70s and 80s.......

0
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Facebook profiles go TITSUP! Mystery malady plagues piles of pages

Larry Crapbeans

NSA

Obviously borrowed the affected profiles, but someone forgot to put them back.....

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