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* Posts by Larry Crapbeans

246 posts • joined 22 Jun 2012

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Get a job in Germany – where most activities are precursors to drinking

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Good luck if UKIP/Farage succeed

The problem with the UK and Europe is we should be trying to embrace Europe and try to lead it in the way that Germany do, but instead we elect idiots like Farge who go on jollies to Brussels and just sit there with their arms folded while saying "this is bull****"

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Hey, Apple! We can land a probe on a comet, but we can't have a 12.9in iPad 'until mid-2015'?

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Waiting to register...

I predict it will be called ... (wait for it) ... the iPadXL.

Nailed on to be the iPad +. Can already see the crappy poster with a picture of a rainbow apple logo close up and the tag line 'we've got something big to show you'.

Then there is weeks of hype about how it will run full OS X and iOS and how it has double the RAM of a standard iPad and a faster ARM processor and a sapphire screen and then the big day will arrive Tim Cook will walk on stage with a beaming smile talking about how this is the perfect tool for business and it will just be the same iPad specs at the minute in a slightly bigger case....

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Vulture takes BlackBerry's Passport through customs

Larry Crapbeans

Missed Trick

The physical keyboard - They should have put an e-ink display underneath the keys which changed from the letters to numbers and symbols by pressing say the shift key

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Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so

Larry Crapbeans

Re: The company will also change future advertising to stamp out the offending slogan

I bought a promotional Halloween pack of Cadbury Mini Rolls the other day, which said on the front: "Individually wrapped... by vampires". How is that OK and this isn't?

If this was America it wouldn't be OK. You would be able to sue Cadburys for 65 million dollars (purely because it is a figure that I plucked out of my arse) that you bought that product in good faith because you believed that you were helping minorities who were employed by Cadbury to wrap these things. Only to find out that they are produced by a machine on a conveyor belt with little or no input human or vampire and the crazy thing is you would probably win a healthy figure from them out of court. Most of the megabucks will have gone to a tireless team of lawyers who put together this compelling and unjust case on your behalf, but you'd still be left with a tidy amount to keep you in condo payments for a year or three.

It is literally the most morally bankrupt and brain dead country in the world where everything has to be wrapped in cotton wool because people are so obsessed with the compensation culture. The last three clowns in the White House have been able to afford massive amounts of money to spend on foreign influence and wars yet more and more of their population are going hungry and without shelter and yet they call it the greatest country in the world. You've gotta laugh

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Microsoft on the Threshold of a new name for Windows next week

Larry Crapbeans

Educated guess

My educated guess is it will simply be called 'Windows' and it will lay the foundations for their Windows in the cloud strategy whereby they charge you ££ a month and you get the latest security updates / patches and the ability to log on from anywhere with your profile / software as it is all hosted in the lovely Microsoft Cloud.

There will be a meatier enterprise version, but that will probably be given a different name

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Galaxy Note 4 latest: Samsung rushes iPhone 6 Plus rival to China as Apple flails in dark

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Does it bend

There's a video on youtube of someone who bent the 6 plus trying to bend the note 3. It doesn't bend at all. The S4 however bends and snaps apparently...

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Good grief! Have you SEEN BlackBerry's SQUARE smartphone?

Larry Crapbeans

Does it have a removable battery?

No removable battery, but the one in there is big enough

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Larry Crapbeans

Re: DOA

This phone is DOA. One has to wonder why if this is such a good idea, why none of the other phone makers thought about it before?

All the current phone manufacturers see Apple making billions from producing the same old shaped slab with the screen on the front and a little button and decide to do the same thing and look how that is working out. It is a race to the bottom. The Samsung S5 was a failure (S4 owner here btw) and the Note 4 doesn't seem to offer anything than the Note 3 didn't. HTC and other firms are barely making profit on these things. At least if Blackberry are gonna go under they will go down fighting.

Maybe because, the vast majority of usability studies show that most people like a phone they can pocket, or they can easily slip into their pocket book.

There is a video on youtube where someone has helpfully compared it in size to other phones it might be considered with and it fits into pockets no problem. Maybe not skinny jeans, but that's not the target market here.

The best think BB could have done, was to continue their BB7 line, while BB10 catches on. By now BB7 devices would have cost $50 bucks, and would have help them retain a lot of customers who are now in the Apple and Android world and would never go back to BB.

I think Nokia have got the whole bottom of the market can't give them away market covered. BB7 is dead, but they should've done a QNX version of the bold design

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Larry Crapbeans

tempted

But need to see a few more hands on reviews and videos. Saw one review claim that every android app he tried crashes or didn't work and that you get a warning every time you install from Amazon app store and that one android app didn't work crashed constantly so he tried installing it from bbworld only for that to fail to install until he removed the android one... Looking at this review android apps should be fairly painless.. Hmm?

The price is a bit of a bummer too bit more expensive than I was hoping. Definitely gives me food for thought when renewing the contract soon though

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Move over, Apple Pay: Tesco trials PayQwiq phone-flash pay app

Larry Crapbeans

New trial

for a limited time only spend £2.50 for every £1 of products that you buy...

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Apple's big bang: iPhone 6, ANOTHER iPhone 6 Plus and WATCH OUT

Larry Crapbeans

Great Cameo

Great cameo from U2 there. Don't blame them for ripping off Gary Glitter he's not in a position to complain at the minute...

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Heads up, Chromebook: Here come the sub-$200 Windows 8.1 portables

Larry Crapbeans

What a joke

Years ago I tried installing Windows 8 developer preview on to my netbook. I wasn't happy with Linux and Windows 7 didn't run great on there, but I'd heard Windows 8 made significant performance boosts so wanted to give it a go.

It wouldn't work on the device, because it was limited to 1024x600 pixels... Microsoft said that it needed to be a minimum of 768 to get the 'full Windows experience' or some BS.

Now here we are all these years later and people are taking away Microsofts bottom line by devaluing the price of what people would pay for an OS and now they are desperate to compete, so rather than bring their prices down they make it run on a resolution they deemed not good enough in 2011. You couldn't make it up.

I hope there is plenty of room in that RT bin for these...

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Firefox 32 moves to kill MITM attacks

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Ah but..

And there is no reason either that the security questions have to be correct. If you're asked your mother's maiden name then enter something non obvious - e.g. Kerplop. If your asked your first car then enter Horsemax 5000. And so on. Store the answers in Password Safe so you can reference them. Now you're safe.

The thing is I never set any of the security questions. I have no idea where it got my brothers name from and it also asked me which postcode I'd been associated with and the correct answer was one where this particular visa account had never been registered. Not sure how they generate these questions, but I've definitely not set them, because otherwise I would've put wrong answers to the questions, because as with what we've seen regarding Apple ID accounts you can use social engineering to get the correct answers

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Larry Crapbeans

Re: Ah but..

Verified by visa

Ah yes verified by visa... I've had this on a few occasions where I've gone to buy tickets and that extra layer of security has kicked in and I've been presented with random questions to answer that they think nobody else would be able to answer such as these gems -

What street have you been associated with?

Great question rock solid. You get given four answers three of which the streets don't exist according to a quick check of Google maps

Which of the following persons have you been associated with?

Another four answers three of which even my nieces and nephews would be able to deduce are completely made up names usually old fashioned first names with a rarely heard of surname... The remaining one had my surname and was my brother.. Never figured out how they knew it was my brother and to put his name in there as I am 100% certain I've never sent him money from that account and we've never resided at the same property for at least 20 years. Spooky one that I've never figured it out

Which phone number have you been associated with

Again four answers two dud area codes and one right area code and a clearly dud phone number and the right one.

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One in 12 Tweeps are bots

Larry Crapbeans

Once you get past the Beliebers, One Directioners, the inane reality TV 'celebrities', those who are simply famous for being famous and the often racist / sexist parody accounts of real people oh and the trolls there really isn't a great deal of worthwhile accounts.

Classic example of where it falls down for me. Something happens you click on a trend and the results are just hundreds of thousands of people posting the same link to an article or the same photo either via a RT or trying to pass it off as their own. Another classic example Robin Williams dies and you click on his hashtag to be inundated with people telling you how they are heartbroken they'll never see him on stage with that fat tax avoiding git and the rest of the pub singers.

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Facebook: Want to stay in touch? Then it's Messenger or NOTHING

Larry Crapbeans

Re: I don;t get the anger about this.

What does it matter if it's one app or two?

With the m.facebook.com site if a few friends are commenting on a status I can quickly get to messages and send one or more of them a message. With this new setup I have two battery hungry apps and I need to come out of one to launch the other to then find and send the message to the person in question.

They are basically trying to slowly replace your phone book and phone functionality by adding things like VOIP as well as the messaging and their permission requests are ridiculous. Sadly though people grant them and Androids application of permissions leaves far too much to be desired

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Larry Crapbeans

Re: can I has all your data?

A few months back I kept getting pestered by friends to install the messenger app, so I did and it was a buggy POS that killed my battery. I uninstalled it and when I got blocked from sending messages through the app I switched to using the website m.facebook.com and uninstalled the app. I still use the mobile site around the same amount of times I used to use the app, but one thing I've noticed on Android is my battery is at least 20% healthier per day for it and that is on an S4.

Facebook are slowly, but surely trying to build their own walled garden, which is fair enough they are out there to make money, but the main reasons I'm on there - following friends / bands / a few pages can all be done on twitter and organised much better using tweetdeck. If they remove the messaging feature from m.facebook.com then I think they'll lose a few customers, but they won't be bothered by it as the numbers will just be a drop in the ocean.

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KDE releases ice-cream coloured Plasma 5 just in time for summer

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Very confusing

What about the Moscovitch?

The Zil? Well, only if you were a party BigWig.

There were even some East German Wartburgs around.

Lada's were not the only Car of the good old USSR.

This is from a visit in 1981.

Those Trabis weren't too shabby either

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Feel free to BONK on the TUBE, says Transport for London

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Bloke down the tube station ticket office the other night...

Re: Bloke down the tube station ticket office the other night...

A bank such as Raphaels or Clydesdale will offer a contactless prepaid card, and will put the tour operator's branding on it if the volumes are high enough.

Bonk with Trotters Ethnic Tours

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Larry Crapbeans

???

That bloke paying with his phone was only charged £1.40? I assume that was the price for getting on and off at the same stop. It's usually about 8 quid to go more than a couple of mile

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Apple fanbois SCREAM as update BRICKS their Macbook Airs

Larry Crapbeans

All had been trying to install version 2.9 of an EFI firmware update, which was supposed to fix a problem which causes the computer to take an eternity to wake from sleep and then run the fans at full speed.

I've owned a couple of iBooks and a couple of MacBook Pros and not one of them HASN'T taken an eternity to wake from sleep. I tell my friends that's how you know it is a genuine Apple product, because it takes at least a minute to work out where it is after waking up and then you have to disable / enable wireless to get a connection again.

Macbook Pros / Airs / 10.9 / 10.8 / 10.7 as far back as I can remember they've always been a steaming pile in that respect. Thankfully their other advantages make it just about worth putting up with

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BlackBerry claims ugly duckling Passport mobe is a swan in the offing

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Reminds me of the Pyramid

It's so you can say - UNLEASH THE POWER OF THE PYRAMID!

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That AMAZING Windows comeback: Wow – 0.5% growth in 2015

Larry Crapbeans

Gartner

The same company that said Windows Phone would wipe Apple off the map by 2015 - http://venturebeat.com/2011/04/07/windows-phone-beat-iphon/

To make their predictions they have a revolving dartboard containing bold statements and spurious figures that they throw knives at blindfolded. Any knife that remains in the board is their latest bold claim.

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DOH! Google’s internet of things vision is powered by… Mac OS

Larry Crapbeans

Goobuntu

Do they still develop and use Goobuntu internally? Quite a big contributor to the Linux source code aren't they ?

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I/O NOOOOO!!! We sat through Google's bum numbing 3-hour keynote so you didn't have to

Larry Crapbeans

Re: "Material Design?"

I quite like the look of the material design. It's just a shame companies like Samsung will just ignore it, but then saying that it'll be a miracle if they do a 4.5 upgrade for the S4 anyway...

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Redmond is patching Windows 8 but NOT Windows 7, say security bods

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Vista team? What team?

What "application" are you talking about? The OS? The kernel? What?

Then again, given the content of your post, perhaps you WERE part of the Vista team...

Woosh!

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Larry Crapbeans

If that's the treatment Windows 7 gets, I wonder how the unloved Windows Vista fares.

We still have machines to support that are running Vista.

I was assigned to the Microsoft team that was setup to support Vista and patch it following release. Unfortunately the team was disbanded not long after. The problem we had was on a complete review of the codebase we discovered there are memory leak in the application, I did a count of NEW and DELETE statements, and there are less DELETEs than NEWs

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Facebook wants MORE EXPLICIT SHARING

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Now if they can only make it usable

News feed - drop down triangle - choose recent stories. Although the fuckerbergs to like to change it back for you from time to time.

I do change it, but as you say it likes to change it back, but in my case it seems to be every day that it changes it back and as for mobile well the app defaults back to top stories every time you go in and you have to dig out most recent to load that feed then once you view something that is it back to top stories....

They are making some bad decisions recently. The segregating of the messaging part to a separate app being a prime example. Now that it has stopped me checking messages from within the standard app and the standard app makes it harder to view most recent I've just installed messenger uninstalled the standard app and just view my feed on my PC instead.

I can't imagine many people will do the same, but if they did I'm sure facebook would take notice and act

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Larry Crapbeans

Re: Now if they can only make it usable

Having the posts in such a random order means I often miss important things, like "X just died, funeral next Wed" under the deluge of old posts that leap to the top for no reason whatsoever.

best one I had was one guy featured top of my 'news' feed saying he had an offer of employment. Nice one I thought good on him, so I clicked like. Scrolled down through a few stories and lo and behold there was a post from the same guy saying they'd since cancelled the offer of employment. After checking that had been posted 48 hours after his top 'news' story, which was no longer relevant...

Safe to say I'm starting to use twitter more, because chronological order just makes a lot lot more sense

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Users folder vanished after OS X 10.9.3 update? Here's a fix

Larry Crapbeans

I find the Apple laptops the best hardware suited to my needs, but OS X has gone down massively in quality in recent years... These days it feels like we are the beta testers and the OS is plagued with problems that never seem to go away like bad WiFi and problems waking from sleep... I never have this problem when I dual boot in Windows

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Half of Twitter's 'active users' are SILENT STALKERS

Larry Crapbeans

44 per cent of the world's 974 million Twitter accounts have never even sent a tweet

Then if you remove the 20% that are spambots and the 5% that just tweet about one direction and justice beaver you are still left with an impressive active userbase, but nowhere near as big as the claimed figure that was used to prop up the IPO.

Even though there are signs they are amending the site to 'monetize it' I really can't see where twitter will make their money. Slight profits are possible, but a lot of investors are going to get burnt.

No doubt Zukerburg will hoover it up for a couple of billion worth of Facebook stock toilet roll in a couple of years and start charging people for the 'privilege' to tweet a Kardashian or a Hilton

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Hotmail-gate: Windows 8 code leaker pleads guilty to theft of trade secrets

Larry Crapbeans

"Hotmail-gate"

I think you'll find it is now called Live.com sorry outlook.com

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FINALLY Microsoft releases Office for iPad – but wait there's a CATCH

Larry Crapbeans

beginning of the end or the end of the beginning?

Microsoft are pouring money into sinkholes like Surface and the acquisition of Nokia, so they can be like Apple in the respect that they control the software and the hardware then at the same time they are now looking at cross platform solutions in mobile, because quite frankly the horse has bolted, competed in the grand national and been shot.... They just seem to lack a clear strategy of what they see themselves as and are trying to dip their toes in every water even in this offering, which has the Office in the cloud lock in for editing documents...

They need to pick a vision and stick to it. Personally I think they are in for a hiding trying to make their own hardware offerings. The amount of money that they have rinsed on brainless ideas is astonishing I don't know how the shareholders put up with it... If this takes off on iPad then that cannibalises their other offerings like ARM Surface devices. It's like Microsoft are competing internally instead of working together to offer a realistic alternative to Google and Apple..

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MtGox finds 200,000 Bitcoin in old wallets

Larry Crapbeans

Cowboys, Ted! They're a bunch of cowboys! Oh, God

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MH370 airliner MYSTERY: The El Reg Pub/Dinner-party Guide

Larry Crapbeans

Re: "Disillusioned pilot possibly with a political motive"

I'm not sure how leaving behind a mystery advances any political motive much?

If he puts it down in the water on the normal route it'd have been found within hours / days and there would not be anywhere near as much news coverage as we are getting. Rolling news channels by their very nature are quick to move on to the next tragedy once they've got all the mileage out of the current story.

As it is because nobody has the faintest idea of where it is due to his elusive actions and change of course we are now into what the 11th day? of worldwide media coverage where papers and rolling news channels are digging through the pilots life story and revealing that he supported a certain political party, the leader of which was recently jailed, which the pilot may of found unjust. If the plane had been found within 24 - 48 hours I doubt there would be all this media coverage on the rolling news channels still and they wouldn't have got as far as mentioning the fact he was an avid supporter of a man who was jailed for simply being gay in 2014...

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Larry Crapbeans

Re: Why could they turn everything off?

One thing which has been bothering me - is there any good reason why the pilots should be able to turn off all comms and transponders?

If one of these things starts spewing smoke then the circuit breaker is there to kill the electrics and whatever is causing the issue before a full scale fire / fault breaks out. However to disable these things isn't easy and indicates that it was definitely the pilot or co-pilot who carried out the action..

As much as the media are hoping for a grand conspiracy theory and that the plane is landed safely in a muslim country ready to be kitted out with a nuke and sent off to some unsuspecting city the logical answer is sadly a lot more simple and tragic.

Disillusioned pilot possibly with a political motive slips his co-pilot a mickey finn disables all the tracking gear turns the plane around takes it up to 45,000 feet nose dives it and then puts it in the drink hundreds of miles away from where he knows search crews will be looking

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Bitcoin bust litigants fling sueballs at Japanese bank

Larry Crapbeans

Says it all

the former Magic-the-Gathering card trading operation, the complainants say, it “aided in a fraud”.

Apt name. They gathered all the bitcoins and then like magic they were gone...

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Roll up, roll up for the Commentards' Ball

Larry Crapbeans

A chance to drink a london boozer dry while someone else is in the chair for the bill? Can't believe people would turn that opportunity down!!

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Winklevoss twins say their Bitcoins will take them to SPAAAAACE

Larry Crapbeans

Cameron: Hey Tyler give them bitcoins to Sir Richard

Tyler: Er what bitcoins Cameron?

Cameron: You know the ones I gave you to look after...

Tyler: Oohhh those bitcoins... Don't worry they are in MtGox I just need to sign in and send the money across....

Sir Richard: Err I do take payments by cheque as well boys...

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Brit Bitcoin dev: I lost 'over £200k' when MtGox popped its socks

Larry Crapbeans

Dwight Schrute: What is the ratio of Stanley Nickels to Schrute Bucks?

Stanley: The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.

Just delete unicorns / leprechauns as applicable and insert bitcoin / litecoin / dodgecoin / whatevercoin

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Hundreds of folks ready to sue Bitcoin exchange MtGox

Larry Crapbeans

Lawsuit settled

The owners should agree to settle the lawsuit by paying the people suing them in a new secure crypto currency called MuppetCoins. Here's your pay off in MuppetCoins now pick the bones out of this -

63211C8F5E0BF07DA1ADF4A4738D62D2E875E5BD777D2E05B1AF73382BCF9C3B

84C39F39F668E984229ED5FE2BC70BA08AC3CCE8625D0D2229FF8065AEF0AC7F

575C5DB58D73F0C1C0B99B558E49606115E68A810277B930299F6AB644696F9C

Don't forget to store them in the online exchange that has the best looking website, but more backdoors than B&Q....

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Bitcoin bank Flexcoin pulls plug after cyber-robbers nick $610,000

Larry Crapbeans

Re: Your numbers are gone

If you compare bitcoin to a fiat currency -where it too has no real value, and then consider that the currency is printed out of thin air, digital currencies neither have more or less legitimacy than the dollar/euro

I'm sick of hearing this argument. You may as well compare bitcoin to a fiat 500. The fiat 500 is more useful than bitcoins though unless you've previously signed her majestys nonce jotter in which case bitcoin is useful to you judging by a recent article on here.

It's a brilliant scam people launch these exchanges run them legitimately then run off with the 'currency' which can't be traced due to the nature of the way it has been set up and then cry that they've been hacked.

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Satya Nadella shakes up Microsoft, appoints 'Scroogled' man Mark Penn as strategy chief

Larry Crapbeans

His group’s goals include creating world-class advertising and messaging to consumers and business customers delivered through the most cost-effective and scientific means available.

Ah yes who can forget world class advertising such as this iPhone funeral when Windows Phone was announced -

http://images.dailytech.com/nimage/16584_funeral_1.jpg

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Samsung brandishes quad-core Galaxy S5, hopes nobody wants high specs

Larry Crapbeans

meh

I like the look of the Galaxy Gear Fit I think I'll definitely be buying one of them if the price is right and it works with the S4, but there's not enough about the S5 to make me consider upgrading from my S4. The waterproof / dust proof aspect is good, but you could get a waterproof S4, so it's just a merging of two models, which Samsung needed to do as they are in danger of having too many Galaxy models.

Still only 16gb or 32gb models is disappointing. I know it's got micro SD, but you'd think we'd be up to 64gb as standard by now. Not everyone wants to do everything in the cloud.

Anyone know if this updated version of Touchwiz for Android 4.4 will be coming to the S4 or if we'll get Kitkat, but with the old Touchwiz still in place?

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Life support's ABOUT to be switched off, but XP's suddenly COOL again

Larry Crapbeans

RE: I'll say it again

on the other hand none of them have had any security problems.

I bet that's what Barclays thought too

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Murdoch's BSkyB stares down Microsoft: Redmond renames SkyDrive to OneDrive

Larry Crapbeans

Finally

It's not truly a Microsoft product until it's gone through a name change. I wonder if they'll rebrand it again when the Xbox One 2 comes out?

Microsofts branding and product portfolio has always been all over the place, but they seem to be getting worse. Google were quite bad at that for a while too, but they seem to have sorted themselves out even if some of the decisions to do that have been controversial.

I originally signed up for a Windows Live email account through their website hotmail.com and a good few months back I had an option to migrate my address to @Outlook.com instead. I figured I'd go for the Outlook address as I preferred it to the live address, so clicked the link to migrate my mailbox across. It isn't an important account just a throwaway MS account that I use for MSDN / Xbox live. I signed into MSDN and Xbox live no problem with my new @outlook.com address, so everything was great or so I thought. My partner recently tried to email me at the outlook.com address and it turns out that it isn't a valid email address and messages just get bounced back... The live.com address still works though, but outlook.com lets me sign into xbox and MSDN? All very bizarre

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HOT AIR-FILLED Apple fanbois SHUNNED iPad 2 at Xmas

Larry Crapbeans
Facepalm

Re: Wait a minute...

An iWatch? But, ...but surely that would be BLATANTLY RIPPING OFF SAMSUNG, wouldn't it? And the super-innovative fruity ones would never steal other people's intellectual property, would they?

No, that can't possibly be true.

It'll take a few days for the register to catch up, but a lot of sites are running with a source citing that the new Samsung Galaxy S5 will be announced this April with a...... fingerprint scanner...... But, ...but surely that would be BLATANTLY RIPPING OFF APPLE, wouldn't it? And the super-innovative Korean ones would never steal other people's intellectual property, would they?

No, that can't possibly be true

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Chinese Moon rover, lander duo wake up after two-week snooze

Larry Crapbeans

Re: I'm surprised that in 2014...

Perhaps when Britain can put a camera in orbit, much less one on the Moon, you can select one of the quality you'd like....

http://hackaday.com/2012/07/18/sending-a-raspberry-pi-to-130000-feet/

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BlackBerry CEO: I LOVE keyboards, so if you want them, you'll get them

Larry Crapbeans

N900

I'd buy a Blackberry if it had a slide down keyboard and touch screen similar to the N900, but with a good HD display and the ability to sideload Android apps. I think that could be a real winner.

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Coca Cola slurps millions of MAC addresses

Larry Crapbeans

Re: They already have PCs in their vending machines.

I happen to know that the newer vending machines (known as Freestyle) already have an MS windows PC in them. They are even managed by Microsoft SCCM.

If these things contain PCs running Windows it may explain why they struggle to produce a can below room temperature...

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