Feeds

* Posts by i like crisps

281 posts • joined 14 Jun 2012

Page:

R.I.P. LADEE: Probe smashes into lunar surface at 3,600mph

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Alien

The CRASHING ON THE MOON bit...

...they did that with the Apollo 11 Lunar Module, couldn't risk it falling back to Earth and landing in someones back garden.....my eyes are OPEN!!!!

1
0

Opportunity selfie: Martian winds have given the spunky ol' rover a spring cleaning

i like crisps
Bronze badge

Surprised really...

...that it hasn't took more pictures of Donkeys....they still have them on Blackpool sands, don't they?

0
0

NASA finds first Earth-sized planet in a habitable zone around star

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Meh

SO WHAT??

That is all.

0
9

Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Meh

SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT VACATION SPOT...

Yours faithfully

E. Cartman.

11
0

Google shuts Glass store and nixes Video Call feature

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Meh

Didn't Willy Wonka do something similar...

...those limited "Golden Tickets" certainly drove up demand for his chocky bars?

0
0

OK, we get the message, Microsoft: Windows Defender splats 1000s of WinXP, Server 2k3 PCs

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: Why in the hell are any of us stupid enough...

idots??....some new piece of shit from Apple?

15
6

Burnt out on patches this month? Oracle's got 104 MORE fixes for you

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Megaphone

PERHAPS...

...Larry Ellison could spend a bit more time on the "shop floor" and a little less time "twatting about in a boat"?

2
0

Mounties always get their man: Heartbleed 'hacker', 19, CUFFED

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Go

That would've been way cool if...

...they had actually turned up on horse back to arrest the guy!

0
0

OpenSSL bug hunt: Find NEXT Heartbleed, earn $$$ – if enough people donate cash

i like crisps
Bronze badge
WTF?

"WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A MEGA-FAIL IS DISCOVERED ?"

It would seem that its everyone for themselves!

0
0

Red-faced LOHAN team 'fesses up in blown SPEARS fuse fiasco

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Trollface

Maybe...

...a 13 amp one next time?

1
0

Ex-Tony Blair adviser is new top boss at UK spy-hive GCHQ

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Big Brother

I WONDER....

....if GCHQ is still using XP?

2
1

Jack the RIPA: Blighty cops ignore law, retain innocents' comms data

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

As far as i can tell...

...there seems to be only one law for the security sevices: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell".

It seems to be working quite effectively.

0
0

EE dismisses DATA-BURNING glitch with Orange Mail app

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Flame

Six degrees of Kevin Bacon.

I suppose they've got to raise the money some how, to pay for the shotgun-nosed prick?

4
0

Twitter rejigs layout, opens wide to swallow SLURRY OF ADS

i like crisps
Bronze badge

I don't use Twitter to write crap...

...i use The Register instead!

3
0

Wookiee! CHEWIE'S BACK in Star Wars Ep VII – blab Hollywood 'sources'

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: WORTH THE PRICE OF ADMISSION....

that would make for a very touching scene, one man and his Wookie.

0
0
i like crisps
Bronze badge
Trollface

Dr Bob's medical corner

I wonder if Wookie's suffer with Arthritis?...i mean, he's got to be about 400 in human years!

The only way he can realistically make "an appearance" in the next film is if Han had him stuffed and mounted in a corner of the Millenium Falcon....i suppose that would be a "Cameo Role"?

1
0
i like crisps
Bronze badge
Trollface

WORTH THE PRICE OF ADMISSION....

....to see Chewie with a Zimmer Frame.

0
0

Big Content goes after Kim Dotcom

i like crisps
Bronze badge

Re: What to expect...

I'd always thought that "Extraordinary Rendition", would be something like Tom Jones singing "Saturday night" by Whigfield.

5
0

Drone 'hacked' to take out triathlete

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Terminator

They're not DRONES but R.C.T's

Thats: Radio Controlled Twats!

0
0

The Great Hash Bakeoff: Infosec bods cook up next-gen crypto

i like crisps
Bronze badge
FAIL

You missed a bit...

"Take a severful of Hash,add salt, hold the rainbow AND LEAVE THE BACKDOOR OPEN SO GCHQ CAN POP ROUND FOR A CUP OF COFFEE.

1
1

Symantec scratches head over balance sheet, calls in JPMorgan

i like crisps
Bronze badge
FAIL

FUCK NORTON!!!!!!!

Game Over.

3
0

Torvalds rails at Linux developer: 'I'm f*cking tired of your code'

i like crisps
Bronze badge

Can totally understand Torvalds....

....this is his baby and all the sitters who have volunteered to look after it keep dropping it on its head!

1
8

Five-year-old discovers Xbox password bug, hacks dad's Live account

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Happy

KID NEEDS A NICKNAME....

....how about, NEO?

1
0

Final Windows XP Patch Tuesday will plug Word RTF vuln

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

Re: Meanwhile...

Bet the NSA has put the kid on their SHIT LIST now. The dad had better check the brakes on the kid's "Big Wheel" just to be on the safe side!

4
1
i like crisps
Bronze badge
Headmaster

Re: Ignorance

I hate myself for doing this, but instead of " well there on their fucking own now..", it should have read "well they're on their fucking own now".....really really sorry about that.

19
0

Nothing's as SCARY as an overly aggressive SOFTWARE PIMP

i like crisps
Bronze badge
WTF?

Re: Try them both on a 13" retina display..."

If he is a squid, then he's a rich one.....13 displays!!! you greedy bastard!!!

0
4
i like crisps
Bronze badge
Happy

FUNNY FELLA

Very entertaining piece, agreed with everything.

4
0

Google's SWOLLEN WINDBAGS circle PLANET, dispensing INTERWEBS

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Trollface

UP, UP AND AWAYYY.....

....if only that would happen to Google....don't like Google

2
1

HIDDEN OCEAN of LIVING SOUP found on Enceladus, moon of Saturn

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Alien

A PLANET OF SOUP!!!!!

Speaking as a Clanger, i for one am looking forward to emigrating to Enceladus, providing of course, that i can get through the strict immigration controls run by the Klingon High Council.....officious Bastards.

1
0

IBM hid China's reaction to NSA spying 'cos it cost us BILLIONS, rages angry shareholder

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Big Brother

NOW THE "FALLOUT" BEGINS....

...GO! Sheriffs.....IBM don't deserve Punishment, they deserve GUNishment!

4
1

Apple fanbois warned: No, Cupertino HASN'T built a Bitcoin mining function into Macs

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Facepalm

GREED, GREED, GREED...

...that's why its caught people out.....we're all suckers for trying to make a fast buck.

0
0
i like crisps
Bronze badge
Go

THE NEW MARTIAL ART OF "SUDO".

A DEADLY combination of Judo and Sudoku....

9
0

Through-wall tracking of humans using Wi-Fi: Now more accurate, low power

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Big Brother

Re: Am I the only person thinking....

At last, the "Killer App" for Goggle Glass?

0
0
i like crisps
Bronze badge
Go

AWESOME...

...This sounds similar to to the "BAT-VISION" in Arkham City....wonder if people they're watching through the walls show up as "Skeletons" as well? That would be WICKED!!

0
0

Twitter's shock block unlock deemed cockup, gets a lockup

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Who's writing these headlines...

...Chuck D?

1
0

Boffins: On my command, unleash REMOTE CONTROL BULL SPERM

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Trollface

"Bovine emission"

Tastefully put.

0
0

Big goolies-grabbing black snake nips unlucky bloke's trouser snake

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Dear The Reg...

Have an upvote for that headline, or in this case, a" thumbs up" icon...Bravo!!

1
0

Google's patent chief slammed the US patent office – now she's the agency's acting director

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Big Brother

INSIDIOUS

Goggles tentacles are fuckin everywhere.

1
1

Apple's iPhone plant didn't kill UNDERAGE TEEN factory worker

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Megaphone

Re: Vaccination?

I don't think that Apple should be insisting on the prescription of medicines or vaccines as Public Health issues are none of their concern. All they have to do, and are doing as far as i can tell, is take steps to ensure that the workforce are working in the SAFEST of conditions. Wages, Health Benefits, pensions, Hours etc, are things to be negotiated between the Employee and the Employer. There's also the possibility of "side-effects" with any form of medication and knowing Apple's luck someone would probably get ill or die from the vaccine, which would give them more grief. The problem is the Chinese. As soon as these "Western" companies backs are turned Health & Safety goes out of the fucking window. What can Apple or any other company do about the Chinese mentality where they see themselves and everyone else as a disposable resource....What they need is a Bloody Good General Strike.

2
0
i like crisps
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: "Apple's iPhone Plant"

thanx 4 clring tha up fore me innit.

0
0
i like crisps
Bronze badge
Trollface

"Apple's iPhone Plant"

What the hell is that? A TRIFFID with app's?

6
0

Hot Stuff! NASA mulls 'urgent' space walk as ISS cooler conks out

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Alien

Re: Bah!

Is that what you've got on yours Stevie? I bet you've got "Go Faster" stripes and a "Turbo" on yours as well haven't you?

0
0
i like crisps
Bronze badge
Alien

DADDY COOL!!!

Instead of Ammonia, why don't they just pump in some James Brown?

1
0

Enraged by lengthy Sky broadband outage? Blame BT Openreach cable thieves

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Go

Re: A simple suggestion

#1: Replace copper wire with Fibre.

#2: Offset some of the cost by flogging copper at local Scrapyard.

PS: is it Fibre or Fiber?

1
0
i like crisps
Bronze badge
Big Brother

ACCESS DENIED....

....I've heard that it wasn't thieves, it was in fact "Kevin The Work Experience Boy" from GCHQ trying his first "Splice" into a main network....they won't be keeping him on, apparently.

2
0

Oi, Obama. Rein your spooks in, demands web giants' alliance

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Megaphone

IT ALL FEELS A BIT.............SCRIPTED!

Its like when we have "Inquiries" in this country. They take ages before they start. i've always thought that the reason must be is that it takes them a while to write a "Script", hand it out to all the "Players" and give them the necessary time to learn their "Part". And so long as everyone knows their "Lines" and doesn't start "improvising" the "Inquiry" is Guaranteed to give the Authorities the "White-Wash" they were hoping for. It also helps making sure that the person in charge of the inquiry is a "Senior Member" of the Judiciary who, no doubt, doesn't want to blot his copybook or his families name by being in charge of an inquiry that results in the "Downfall" of a Minister or ministers or even a Government.

What makes me chuckle is that these particular companies were "Tapped-Up" years ago and they all agreed to the "requests" (not demands) of their countries Security Services. They had every opportunity to tell their Government to "get lost" but instead colluded to keep the Planet in the dark about their activities.

Money seems to be the main reason floated about as to why they were so eager to please and certainly they have plenty of that but also they seem to be immune to any form of Corporation Tax, Globally. One can only assume that the "Bottom Line" of these companies is being impacted upon in some way because "Middle Men" aren't "Noble" or "Charitable" by nature, and their belated attempt to paint themselves as the "Victims" of this particular Drama just doesn't wash. I would have more respect for these people if they just came out and said that they are the "Cyber-Paramilitary-Wing of the "New-World Order" and that its their job to monitor every human being to make sure that "He" or "She" knows their place....under the thumb of their Masters....FOREVER.

3
0

iSPY: Apple Stores switch on iBeacon phone sniff spy system

i like crisps
Bronze badge

Re: mmmmm

Quick!...Patent, trade mark and copyright iBacon NOW!!!......too late.

0
0

DARPA seeks game players to join bug-hunt

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Terminator

Beware!......DARPA's trying to put you on the "GAME GRID"

And TRON won't be there to save you!

0
0

NASA invites you to sleepover: Stay up and watch 'FIREBALL RICH' Geminid shower

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Alien

A word of warning.....TRIFFIDS!!!

You can't say you were never told!

9
0

Developer unleashes bowel-shaking KILLER APP for Google Glass

i like crisps
Bronze badge
Go

Re: Wow, what a complete waste of CPU cycles.

i admire your candor sir and give you an upvote.

0
0

Page: