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* Posts by i like crisps

456 posts • joined 14 Jun 2012

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SPECIAL iPHONE TROUSERS will ease Apple into the fashion world

i like crisps
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Happy

CALLED IT...........YESSSSSSSSSS

Called this the other day, some of you scoffed, but i fuckin called it........YESSSSSSS.

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Ice, ice maybe: Evidence of 'Grand Canyon' glacier FOUND ON MARS

i like crisps
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Re: IDS.

'3 Thumbs Down'.......oh, i see where i went wrong there......he doesn't have a soul does he? Thanks for that correction.

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i like crisps
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Mushroom

IDS.

There's already a 'Grand Canyon Glacier' on this planet......its currently scything its way through Iain Duncan Smiths Soul!

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Microsoft WINDOWS 10: Seven ATE Nine. Or Eight did really

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WTF?

NO, THEY CAN'T DO THIS!!!

They've gone and cooked Bill's NINES!!!!

Yours faithfully,

Dr M Hfuhruhurr.

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Anna Wintour, Karl Lagerfeld and some Apple bloke attend glitzy iPhone 6 Paris launch

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Thumb Up

Thumbs Up..

..for the guy in the photo shaking the invisible mans hand.

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DOLPHINS SMELL MAGNETS – did we hear that right, boffins?

i like crisps
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Boffin

Re: Anon Cow

Well if fish can smell magets on the end of a fishing line then it must mean that all marine creatures can smell magets in barrels or not. Just common sense really. I personally don't like magets, horrible, wriggling things....yuk!

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It's official: EU chiefs WILL probe Apple's Irish tax deal

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Go

Re: Meh

Dear Lars,

Have you thought of applying for the position of 'Poet Laureate'? I ask because your use of the English language is excruciaingly good!

As far as 'Patting' Taxes is concerned, if they're moving i wouldn't recommend it as you could cause harm to yourself or someone else. Best to 'Pat' them when they are stationary and only after asking the drivers permission.......lets play safe.

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i like crisps
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Trollface

For the sakes of Apple and the Irish Government....

...can't we all just blame this on Bono and have done with it?

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Universal Credit CRISIS: Howard Shiplee SHIPS OUT of top job

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Trollface

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE!

Well, plan A, B, C & D have all been tried.......this might just work!

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Consumers agree to give up first-born child for free Wi-Fi – survey

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YOU CAN HAVE MY 'FIRST BORN'

He's a feckless, bone idle waster....free WI FI sounds like a fair swap to me!

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Vodafone to stock BlackBerry Passport – on sale tomorrow

i like crisps
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Trollface

The Stephen Fry Asthetic...

...Is this phone gorgeous?

If yes then vote 'UP'

If no vote 'DOWN'

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George Clooney, WikiLeaks' lawyer wife hand out burner phones to wedding guests

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Trollface

WHO DOES THIS BLOKE THINK HE IS??

BATMAN!!!

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Reg hands portable Sinclair ZX Spectrum to lucky compo winner

i like crisps
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Go

For the full authentic experience...

...he should selotape a 2p piece to the top of it.

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WHY did Sunday Mirror stoop to slurping selfies for smut sting?

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Re: But under the new copyright rules

I smell a Test Case in the Courts comming up!

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Microsoft on the Threshold of a new name for Windows next week

i like crisps
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Did Amstrad have this problem?

WINDOWS 'Millenium Falcon Edition'.........sorry, i saw the word Millenium

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i like crisps
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In keeping with current events...

...Windows 'BENDY'..........y'know the Apple phone thing...oh yeah Windows 'GRANNY SMITHS'

or Windows 'OAP EDITION' (for all the 'Silver Surfers' out there).

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i like crisps
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Nailed it...

Windows 'TURBO'.....oh wait a minute, Windows 'DRAGON PUNCH'...no, hang on, Windows 'BRUCE LEE'.....tut.....Windows 'GALAXY'........Windows 'BUY ONE GET ONE FREE'.

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i like crisps
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Windows 'BAGUETTE'

I'm struggling now........Er...Windows.......'JIHAD, MEDIA CENTRE EDITION'?........Windows 'LICKER'? Anyway, i'll look forward to downloading a corrupted copy of it (complete with key) from 'Pirate Ass' or whatever its called.....ooh just thought of another, Windows 'DEATH STAR'

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i like crisps
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Re: After "Windows"

"BACKDOORS", i think?.......Microsoft always leaves them ajar!

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i like crisps
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Re: Windows Ukulele?

MOTHER!!!!!!

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i like crisps
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Trollface

Windows 'ACE'

or Windows 'COOL' or Windows 'SNAZZY' or Windows 'DARK WEB' or Windows '180' or Windows 'SEXY BEAST' or Windows 'ELITE' or Windows 'MUTTON DRESSED AS LAMB' or Windows 'LINUX' or Windows 'ONE' or Windows 'LOHAN' or Windows 'ROONEY' or Windows 'EPIC' or Windows 'SWEET' or Windows 'IRRELEVANT' or Windows 'THE DOGS BOLLOCKS' or Windows 'NSA, FBI MEDIA EDITION' or Windows 'PANIC' or Windows 'GLOCK9' or Windows 'ZERO' or Windows 'LABIA' or Windows 'JITTERY SHAREHOLDERS' or Windows 'LOL' or Windows 'PATCHED TO PERFECTION EDITION'.........got to be one of those...right?

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BENDY iPhone 6, you say? Pah, warp claims are bent out of shape: Consumer Reports

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Trollface

Lab Equipment.......er....

Does this Lab have a 'Backpocket' simulator, or a machine that can replicate peoples arses accurately from 9 to 20 stone in weight? Maybe Apple could use this as an opportunity to sell us some iJeans or iCords with specially redesigned backpockets that not only protect this and future models from BENDING, but also charge the devices through static generated by the iNylon lining?

Tut.....do i have to do everything for you Apple?

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Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT

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MAGNA CARTA

Although you (The Reg) might not agree with this persons comments, i'm sure you would defend their right to say them......Free Speech? Tim's been talking about this kind of thing today.

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iPAD-FONDLING fanboi sparks SECURITY ALERT at Sydney airport

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FAIL

Sorry about this...

...it would seem he attempted to SKIPPY the screening process!

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Hollywood's made an INTELLIGENT science vs religion film?!

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TOM CRUISE ?

Where would Scientology fit into this film.....apparently that's a Religion now!

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Bendgate backlash: Apple claims warped iPhone 6 Plus damage is 'extremely rare'

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Trollface

AHEAD OF THE CURVE

Maybe they're priming us for iPhone 7? From what i've seen recently screens that can be rolled up or bent into all kinds of shapes are just around the corner.

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Japanese volcano eruption reportedly leaves 31 people presumed dead

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GLOBAL WARMING

Wonder how many Emergency Tree Planting Projects will have to be put into effect to capture the Carbon coming out of that?

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Super Cali so litigious, Uber is the focus. Even German judges say it's something quite atrocious

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Megaphone

Re: Supercaliawesomeheadline

Who are you?.....the C.P? (Comments Police) I have an alibi Officers, i was just being appreciative of the cleverness of the wordplay. Would like to deploy your tasers now?

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i like crisps
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Thumb Up

Sung it in my head...

....it works!......Have an icon for an upvote.

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Prez Putin tells Google, Twitter, Facebook: Have a double vodka and censorship on the rocks

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Big Brother

NO PROBLEMO!!

GOOGLE, FACEBOOK, TWITTER all love CENSORSHIP. The Russian Government doesn't need to get heavy, all they've got to do is just bribe them with 30 pieces of silver (no taxes) and problem solved.....in fact all that Putin would have to do, where Google is concerned, is to offer messrs Page, Brin & Schmidt a discount on aviation fuel for their private jets....they'll be purring like Her Majesty.

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Alien gimp gag or cosmic golf ball? NASA tackles question everyone's asking

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Alien

DAMN!!

Thought it was the football that Beckham sky'd in the 2004 Euro's against Portugal, come to rest....too small though....wonder if NASA is tracking it as harmful debris?

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FAA clears SWARM of MOVIE DRONES for take-off

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They think its all over...

....i wonder if they'll use these at major sporting events, like the World Cup?....might be a bit of a distraction in a Penalty Shootout!..............no 'Footbally' type icon?....tut.

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FBI: Your real SECURITY TERROR? An ANGRY INSIDE MAN

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Big Brother

The OLD METHODS are the best.

Perhaps all Employers should invest in a 'Ducking Stool'? Would be more accurate than the FBI.

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HOT WET ALIEN world discovered in constellation Cygnus

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And.........so what?

Astronomy or Astrology........which is the most pointless?

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Apple: SO sorry for the iOS 8.0.1 UPDATE BUNGLE HORROR

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Trollface

I shouldn't laugh...

Oh go on then.

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'Space bubbles' may have helped Taliban down 'copter in bloody Afghanistan battle

i like crisps
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Devil

SPACE BUBBLES?

Is that the American name for 'Space Dust'? Dunno about 'downing' a helecopter but it certainly 'downed' my pet Hamster when i fed him some.........you should've seen the look on his little face!

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4chan outraged by Emma Watson nudie photo leak SCAM

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Trollface

Vinegar Tits.....

....that is all.

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US team claims PARIS paper plane launch crown

i like crisps
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Stop

Cheating YANK BASTARDS

How the hell is that ORANGE thing a paper plane? What are the Guiness 'SPECS' for this record to be valid?....NO, NO, NO a paper plane should be made from a single sheet of A4. In my head this record does not stand......what's next...steroids????

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EU dangles $6bn threat over Google in endless search abuse probe

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Big Brother

Yeah, and....

....when this case is done and dusted, perhaps Google could then face formal charges for reading our PRIVATE emails!!!!!

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Swiss cops BAN MASKS at meeting of rebellious United Nations IP staff

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Facepalm

Cardinal Burns...

They should've worn 'prosthetics' just like the 'Banksy' character does....no law against prosthetics is there?.....or, or, all dress up as Spiderman or Batman....no law against wearing 'Fancy Dress' costumes is there?.......just didn't think it through did they.

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80 PER CENT of app devs SUCK at securing your data, study finds

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Have they conducted this type of testing at Norton?

just asking......

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Game pirates 'donate' compute power to Bitcoin miners

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Internet Security?

Are Norton, Kaspersky, Bullguard, F-Secure etc, detecting any of these nasties?

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Dyslexic, dyspraxic? No probs, says GCHQ

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Big Brother

Re: Alas...

So now they've taken to corrupting the disabled for their dastardly schemes.......a new low?

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i like crisps
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Big Brother

So does that mean that....

...GCHQ is an 'Equal Opportunities' employer? Reminds me a bit of that Bruce Willis film Mercury.....something?

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SpaceX breaks ground on first commercial spaceport in Texas

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Alien

CONCRETE.....

Before anything can happen......CONCRETE!!!!!!!........thats why no Moon Landings!!!!!!

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Google grand fromage Eric Schmidt: Backing climate denier lobby a 'mistake'

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Alert

How do you 'Carbon-Offset' a Volcano?

Its not so much a science anymore, as a religion. Instead of facts its all about belief.

As far as Google is concerned the 'END OF THE WORLD' Dollar is a good Dollar to go for.

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The British Museum plonks digital bricks on world of Minecraft

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Re: Would this mean that...

Dear Crazy op's Guy,

Just basing my concerns on the Google/Facebook model, whereby if you use their services to upload original works, photos, videos etc...they then become the property of those American companies.

As regards not trusting the British...im in complete agreement with you...just think if Churchill hadn't kept the computer inovations of Mr A Turing and Bletchley Park a secret we might be 25yrs+ further into the future than where we are now. By now we should be on Playstation 7.

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i like crisps
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Stop

Re: Would this mean that...

U571......Pearl Harbour.....keep downvoting.

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Germany strikes again over Amazon warehouse pay

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Trollface

Re: trolls, trolls, trolls, please.

That'll do Donkey, that'll do.

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i like crisps
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Trollface

The 'Jack Boot' is on the other foot now!

Nice to see the Germans getting a taste of pain from a Right-Wing Dictatorship (sorry)....Free Market Economy.

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