Re: Only on el Reg
Here is the antidote to all the sprouts and cabbage if anyone's interested
The antidote? The ****ing antidote? Are you mad? Why would we want that? I want a recipe that can guarantee fartological success, and that's considerably upscale of a noisey but characterless lentil-fuelled emanations, or a short lived, weakly sulphurous egg-and-bean derived effluvium.
Ideally we need more research to take the concept forward beyond the current enthusiastic hobbyists. In terms of training and outreach, I'm uncertain whether to go down the academic route and seek City & Guilds accreditation for a national vocational qualification leading eventually to a status of Chartered Farticifer upon completion of both academic training and professional experience under a Master Fartologist (of at least first or second ordure).
The alternative would be to seek IOC approval for the subject to become a demonstration sport at Rio 2016, with a view to joining the full Olympic programme for Tokyo 2020. Imagine the pride of being the first gold medal winner in Tokyo, the adulation of the crowd, the adrenaline rush of climbing the podium, whilst the officials stagger around retching in the brown green miasma.
Obviously we'd need the usual rules banning performance enhancing drugs, and a scheme of testing, but this sort of thing is easily sorted. And the great thing is how inclusive this new sport will be: Couch potatoes and hambeasts will be as welcome a bean poles and supermen. Unlike any other Olympic sport, men and women and the less able would all compete as equals.