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* Posts by CCCP

166 posts • joined 29 May 2012

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Big dinosaur wowed females with its ENORMOUS HOOTER

CCCP

Big nose, big h...

It wasn't the NOSE the lady dinosaurs were interested in. Plus ça change...

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Slough isn't fit for humans now, says Amazon. We're going to Shoreditch

CCCP

Re: Sorry... BS...

I call double BS on your puny BS.

Your comment is exactly why IT types get such a bad reputation. Your world is so narrow that anything else a company might need to engage in is mere interference with writing code.

Newsflash, long before there was code there were merchants or middle men. They made markets. Now we call them marketing or sales, or some other derogatory term. Still need them. Always will.

Sticking butter up a hedgehog's arse with a red hot poker is child's play compared recruiting decent middle men to Slough. I know. I tried for two years then gave up.

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'Stop dissing Google or quit': OK, I quit, says Code Club co-founder

CCCP

Re: /me Applauds

The principals of the schools involved are probably also very happy not to be be sacrificed.

Hang on, you mean principles...

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Fiat Panda Cross: 'Interesting-looking' Multipla spawn hits UK

CCCP

Re: Car?

Likewise. I didn't realise this site was meant for people with singular interests.

On a separate note, if motor reviews annoy you, why did you a) read the at least some of the article and b) comment on it?

You're just taking up space. Like I am right now so I'll shu...

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The Register is HIRING technology hacks for the WORLD

CCCP

Can't believe no one saw it...

If they don't demonstrate a history of biting IT (or anything for that matter), how could they possibly qualify?

I will stop reading (mostly), and stop clicking ads (certainly) if biting is not a hiring criteria.

Suarez knows that biting is essential to fame.

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Mars rover 2020: Oxygen generation and 6 more amazing experiments

CCCP

Re: RIMFAX

Rimfaxe was the horse in Norse mythology belonging to the god Natts.

He had frost in his beard (the horse not the god), because he brought forth tomorrow by drooling. If you've seen a meadow on a biting winter's morning in the sunlight you understand what they meant.

So not an entirely unreasonable name picked by the, present day, Norwegians.

However, I, like other commentards, suffer acronym fatigue. Off-earth ground radar is pretty cool in and of itself.

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Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS

CCCP

Slot screws and flat screw drivers have an evil pact

It's more subtle than the time travel and teleporting that has been observed above.

They agree, well in advance of comming into contact, years some time, that as soon as they touch, one, or both, will slightly change dimension or angle of attack, so that the attempt of transferring torque by the user will be rendered useless. So no screwing takes place.

A self sacrificial part of the pact is that the screw agrees to shed just enough material so that each subsequent attempt of torque-transfer will be increasingly futile.

At the advent of mechanised screw drivers the rate of material shedding was upped to instant from the screw community. So the first attempt is also the last.

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SOULLESS machine-intelligence ROBOT cars to hit Blighty in 2015

CCCP

Re: Will your car kill you to save another?

It's funny how we get obsessed, "I Robot" style, with edge cases of car scenarios where morality enters the picture.

In reality, meanwhile, meatsacks kill each other on the roads at a very steady rate through stupidity/tiredness/distraction, none of which driverless cars suffer from.

Planes land themselves all the time, at least some times, and we seem to be fine with that. I think the difference is pretty much everyone drives, and couldn't possibly imagine a robot doing it better. Pilots, OTOH, are a bit smarter than that.

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CCCP
Headmaster

Re: Stupid headline

@AC

Do please tell what a "yet" belonging to cyclist nazi is. Is it missing an "i", as in yeti? That would be quite a sight incidentally, an abominable snowman running after a militant bicycle rider needing to be overtaken, in the middle of a sweltering London.

(I know the apostrophy is the curse of native English speakers. But it's still amusing.)

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CCCP

Re: @AceRimmer - Will these night time trucking lorries

@Nuke

"It's worse them that"? You cannot use the Pedantic icon and then spew that. That's worse than a bad thing. Please pray you have not invented a new "would of...".

"I must triple check my posts" [repeat]

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Stick a 4K in them: Super high-res TVs are DONE

CCCP

@jzlondon

I disagree. Sitting down to watch a film and getting that cinema feeling really does matter. I struggle with the Samsung 8000 full 1080p from bluray. It's just looks so plastic. I've fiddled with everything [ahem] on that screen, but it just doesn't look right.

In fact the 720p Pioneer kuro on standard DVD is way more pleasurable.

So it's not the number of pixels, it's what you do with them, as the vicar said.

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BEST BATTERY EVER: All lithium, all the time, plus a dash of carbon nano-stuff

CCCP

Re: New batteries...

@Pet Peeve

Awesome. You fill your bike tyres with electricity! Why didn't I think of that? Oh wait...

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NASA Mars rover FINALLY equals 1973 Soviet benchmark

CCCP

The plucky little robots...

Random, but it makes my daughter's eyes mist up every time I tell her about the robots on Mars, especially Spirit...

Damn you Pixar and your Wall-e for imbuing robots with way too much personality.

Although, maybe if all boffins actually cared about their robots they wouldn't screw up their metrics and imperials.

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Look inside ELON MUSK'S CAR! Tesla S wundervehicle has voom

CCCP

Easy solution

Just prevent el reg commentards from going near a Tesla commercial or charging station.

The rest of us can then charge our Teslas [or whatever] in peace.

The commentards can then keep using petrol stations. Simples.

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London cabbies to offer EVEN WORSE service in protest against Uber

CCCP

Never trusted cabs. Black or otherwise. In any country.

It's the perfect example of an asymmetric market. Cabbie knows everything locally. You may or may not know route or short cuts.

The idea that Black Cabs in London are somehow "special" is ridiculous. They all have GPSs anyway, just like other cabs.

Get used to it.

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Schoolkids given WORLD'S CHEAPEST TABLETS: Is it really that hard to swallow?

CCCP

Broken Troll is broken. Nice try, but no biscuit.

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Android, Chromebooks storm channel as Windows PC sales go flat

CCCP

W. Anderson is a c@ck

So you want a demeaning way to describe stupid people. Hmmm. I know, dyslexics. They can't read well so they must be stupid. As it happens, their spoken language is often good.

But don't let that stop you. Let's have focus groups, spoken forums, of people who can't read well - stupidity squared.

Next time your willy waving misses your scr@tum because it doesn't reach, think before you write. Tu capisci?

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PC market staging a RECOVERY. (Only joking, it's through the floor)

CCCP

Hard for hardware manufacturers - not so for the rest of us

Sure, like cars, the replacement cycle is getting longer. Also like cars, there's no longer status value in a PC, possibly the opposite bar gaming rigs. And indeed PCs are "competing" with more devices. Further, a senior bloke at work has tried to switch to tablet working.

However, for some things a tappy keyboard is a necessary thing. I'd like to see my kids complete their projects on a tablet. Also, though it chews time, Candycrush and iPlayer is not killing the PC. And for the tablet bloke, I giggle every time his iPad falls over in a meeting, And his presentations are even more sh*t than the standard ppt stuff.

As it happens, amongst other things we run a 10-year old XP laptop that the wifey prefers because of the proper (not wide) 15" screen and 1440x900 res. Stripping everything has made it boot fast. The much newer Windows 7 (widescreen) laptop reluctantly does Skype duties only.

I don't love M$, but the PC death is over-rated. At least in my western eyes.

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BT Sport scores own goal with £897m Champions League footie rights deal

CCCP

The rights market is broken...

Sorry, no cheers here. But this deal just illustrates how screwed the international rights market is.

From abroad, this now looks properly crazy. Like insane. Weird on a stick-like.

I predict that over time we will see a more individual subscription model, as someone mentioned the US works already. By over time I mean decades btw.

Spotify for TV anyone?

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Martian MOM LAYS another EGG in SPACE - but it's not big enough

CCCP

Re: Well Well

Your comment reeks of "they should feed the poor first" as well as the obvious racism.

A society needs to lift all levels of achievement, including space if you're the size of India, to develop. Rocket scientists want to be, well, rocket scientists whatever their nationality. So you either export them all, or have some rocketry of your own.

Go India. Even it it fails you have succeeded.

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HP: Yes, we plan to axe another 7,100 European staffers

CCCP

Business is not charity

I'll get flamed, but if a company is not fit for purpose, something has to give.

Unite in particular seem hell bent on even destroying companies in their pursuit of influence. Just look at Grangemouth. (though a last ditch concession from Union seems just to have emerged)

Yes, capital has to be reined in, but that is the role of governments and, increasingly, supra-governmental bodies. Not irrelevant unions.

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HP CEO Whitman: We've built the PC that GOD wants

CCCP
WTF?

WTF? Did she not read past the synopsis in the MBA handbook?

1) Select a target market 2) Make a product 3) Hire and/or fire people

The problem with her eBay experience is that eBay had first mover advantage with a new and attractive concept. Quite the opposite of the HP problem. Also, she correctly puts engineering centre stage, but appears clueless about what building stuff actually entails.

Surprised she has made it past the two-year marker.

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Brit PM raps Facebook for allowing GORY beheading vids

CCCP

Broken...

@not_whatever

Your trolling is broken. And so is your writing. Please reset both and then come back.

Also, who is this "your youth" I beg? Do you and I have different sets of young people around us? You can't be foreign as they write better than that.

Finally, the low point of your post gets pretty close to scum. How long before we see your posts on Have I Got News For You?

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BBC to spaff £18 MILLION of licence fee cash... on BIG DATA

CCCP

Dear Deity - this has fuster cluck written all over it

Funnily enough I'm currently waist deep in a situation with, I think, the exact same intended outcome. Except we have realised there absolutely no turn-key solution.

Instead we are building small and learning as we go. And boy, these systems (web analytics, CRM, ad servers, affiliate platforms, CMSs etc) seem designed to avoid talking to each other.

The sheer hubris of Auntie believing they can SOLVE this with one RFP is quite something.

And WTF is big data anyway in this context?? I bet some dick consultant will proclaim "a data warehouse we need, and big it must be". "Big data" makes me reach for the oxygen mask every time...

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Beak orders Yahoo! to get on with Microsoft Search rollout in Asia

CCCP

Re: Yahoo are not even themselves now

OK - Yahoo was certainly the dominant internet directory early on, say 90s to about 2001. So not a search engine per se, but the dominant way for people to find stuff on the webs.

The idea of internet librarians, editors Yahoo called them, actually reviewing each site and writing a description seems quaint, but that's how it started.

Google was built by Yahoo starting to use their algorithmic search to supplement their directory - they put "powered by Google" on each and every search results page. So people went straight to the source. How to, Howitzer style, blow your own foot, calf and leg off.

Yahoo has never since found its mojo again. They stumble around, drunk on their heritage, in search for a purpose.

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Ryanair boss Mike O'Leary hits Twitter: 'Nice pic. Phwoaaarr!'

CCCP

Nightmare to do business with too

We were at the time a, ahem, supplier for one of the annoying ancillary products on their website. In retrospect we shouldn't have touched it with the proverbial barge pole.

The attitude was astonishing and just as you'd imagine little MOL clones to behave. Total dicks. One expensive court case later we were shot of thing, The next RA supplier for the same space also ended acrimoniously.

What's sad is the model doesn't have to be delivered this way, as Southwest in the US have shown.

As with politicians, maybe we get the airlines we deserve...

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Hollywood: How do we secure high-def 4K content? Easy. Just BRAND the pirates

CCCP

Re: Even less reasion to buy

@ac 14:27

Eadon?

Is that you or have you been reincarnated? Different subject, but the tone is familiar. Maybe there are many Eadons...

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CCCP

Re: Learn the lessons lumpheads

And worse, I find myself preferring an up scaled DVD (Toshiba player) on a first gen Kuro to a bluray on a Samsung D8000.

Fiddling ad infinitum doesn't fix it, it's just too plasticky. 4K will make it worse.

Lumpheads won't learn.

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Beat this, cloud giants! Musk rocket flings 1TB hard drive into SPAAACE

CCCP

Re: IP over pigeon, or a station wagon full of tapes

Don't jest - plenty of stories where the pigeons win...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-11325787

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'Stupid old white people' revenge porn ban won't work, insists selfie-peddler

CCCP

Re: The real moral of the story is...

Much as I don't get the 'plicit picture sending - you would worry about your other half?? Really??

Trust is a shortage commodity as it is, no need to be paranoid. Just treat your other half decently.

Anyway, a printed picture is better how exactly?

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Sysadmins fail to fix NHS IT snafu, HUNDREDS of appointments cancelled

CCCP

Re: so presumably..

Exactly!

Pen + Paper anyone? Or do they use Star Trek-style EMHs all over the place?

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A £30,000, 295bhp 4G MODEM?!? Must be the Audi S3 Quattro, then

CCCP

Re: Dull

Exactly my first thought - the, ahem, rear aspect is particularly poor, sort of retro looking in a bad way.

(disclosure: I drive a latest gen (FN2) Civic Type-R GT)

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WET SPOT found on MARS: NASA rover says 'high percentage'

CCCP

Re: Only now?

And today's prize for the most useless comment (apart from this one) goes to...

Vociferous!

Enjoy your short lived fame in these halls of mostly intelligent debate.

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Google's robot army learns Spanish

CCCP

Failure seems to be black/white + SEO

We tried using google translate in a commercial context for user reviews - a lot of them in fact. The problem was using human translation was too expensive.

At the time google was about 85% "good". The problem was the 15% "terrible". You can't put content in front of users that has a 1/7 chance of making them laugh out loud for the wrong reasons.

Second point is speculative - will google apply a discount or penalty for sites that use google translate to pretend they have original content in more languages, like user reviews?

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IT bloke denies trying to shag sheep outside football ground

CCCP
Paris Hilton

Ewe spin me right round...

,,,baaaeeby right round like a record baby

Paris because she can't sing either.

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First rigid airship since the Hindenburg cleared for outdoor flight trials

CCCP

Firefly anyone?

For the cargo version Josh Weadon's excellent Firefly TV series springs to mind, minus the space faring of course.

Rugged, land anywhere, carry anything craft. Tough crew, or at least odd looking at the photograph. They might even have a detachable mini dirigible for the, ahem, companion.

Just watch out for the Reavers...

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CCCP

Re: it will probably be an expensive @ Jess

@AC 14:25

Sorry, off topic but WTF? Two down votes for what? Has the geography knowledge of elreg commentards suddenly dropped?

Actually, they're probably down voting because they wish England wasn't so physically close to France. Or they're angry at Putin for the small island comment...

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Swiss space plane to launch robotic orbital debris destroyer

CCCP

Your trolling...

...is broken.

Or you wondered off the internets by mistake.

Either way, go in this direction ---------------------->

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New! Yahoo! logo! shows! Marissa! Meyer's! personal! touch!

CCCP
Meh

Re: old logo better

The new logo looks utterly lost, especially on Yahoo UK. More scared than proud. Very mediocre.

Unwittingly, I think she's helping erase what little collective goodwill was left for Yahoo internally or externally.

And so it continues to sink into the ocean of oblivion.

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'Kim Jong-un executes nork-baring ex and pals for love polygon skin flick'

CCCP
Thumb Up

Re: @ Shannon Jacobs Cult of Personality

@ Turtle

Agree. And the spell was only broken by the limited freedom of the press at the beginning of perestrojka. Suddenly the mirror the party had used for decades to confirm their beliefs and actions was showing something completely different. And the system imploded from within.

Foreign media is a bitch, eh Kim?

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Silicon daddy: Moore's Law about to be repealed, but don't blame physics

CCCP
WTF?

Re: There cannot be an exponential that doesn't end," he said. "You can't have it."

@John G Imrie Off topic but I have to bite. Where on earth did you read that monetary and fiscal policy is based on infinite growth? Stop reading that publication pronto.

You seem to prefer the previous crop of economists, like the ones who advised monetary restraint in the great depression? That worked out well.

Or maybe you prefer no one studied the subject at all, so we could have some "real", but truly clueless, people giving advice?

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Space-walker nearly OPENED HELMET to avoid DROWNING

CCCP
Coat

Frank Doberman character on Armstrong...

Was I the only one thinking of Harry Enfield's angry character?

"...I would say, Oi, Armstrong, no. That is not a space suit. If you want the toilet you raise your hand..."

I was the only one. Oh well, getting my coat.

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Geneticists resolve human dilemma of Adam's boy-toy status

CCCP
FAIL

Re: The most certain are the least likely to be correct.

@btrower

Like many on the deity side you assume, in passing, religion a necessary precondition to morals: "Religious and moral norms...". This is not true. Read the God Delusion chapter on morals. Morals in and of themselves are useful for understanding many things. Also, morals seem to be universal to all humans, and to some extent animals. Religion not so much.

Also, you use religion and the religious narrative in the singular. Do Norse Religion and Buddhism count? Or are they just silly sideshows to "real" religion. Please specify.

Further, funny how deitists seem threatened as soon as more light is shed on prehistory by science.

Your argument is invalid or at best incomplete.

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Hankering for a Nobel Prize? EAT MORE CHOCOLATE

CCCP

Uhm... slow day?

Even the beeb has this back in November, with the exact same graph. We do pay attention.

bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20356613

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Yahoooo! - Activist! investor! leaps! overboard! jingling! with! cash!

CCCP

Re: Dead! Horse! Being! Flogged!

Your sense of irony has gone missing. Oh wait, you just used it in the title of your post. Carry on.

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Ex-prez Carter: 'America has no functioning democracy' with PRISM

CCCP
Joke

Damn you interwebs. Battle lines are too blurred..

Americans, or us Europeans, were never politically wired for this opaqueness... Bring us an enemy and the hords will unite..

Aliens, we need you! Just a teeny plasma shot at Buenos Aires will do, as in the film. Nothing really bad you understand. Please.

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PEAK APPLE: 'iPhone sales STALL' at first sniff of fresh droid competition

CCCP
Meh

Re: If I sold 150 Mio. gadgets…

My company, a relatively big one in its space, rewards people with iPhone 4s on fully paid tarifs (what's the plural of 4s anyway). It's not working anymore. Not working in the sence that people go meh.

Maybe, as some have suggested, it's because smart phones are old hat. However, i think it's also an iPhone issue. Sure, they're not 5, but you'd expect a modicum of excitedness.

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CONFIRMED: Driverless cars to hit actual British roads by end of year

CCCP

Re: @ Goldmember => I pronounce you...

The Eadon of pedestrians.

RIP Eadon.

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CCCP
WTF?

Re: For this to work in the UK...

@Goldmember

That's not even clever trolling. Most people who drive also walk, no?

Daily Fail board is that way --------------------------->

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LG's curvy telly and Samsung's Galaxy camera seen in the wild

CCCP
Devil

Re: Curvy screen... why?

The problem is even bigger as tellies have been good for almost a decade. Well, at least higher end screens have been decent. So not only are people happy with their current main TV, the second telly is also plenty good enough. The effect is a shrinking early adopter crowd and increasingly desperate manufacturers.

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