* Posts by Arachnoid

960 posts • joined 17 May 2012

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Embrace the world of pr0nified IT with wide open, er, arms

Arachnoid

Re: An Old Game

Well there is a surfit of Ewoks so I guess that alright

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Arachnoid
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pay by bonk

Unless you recieve the No signal in which case its just like being married

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Arachnoid

Cha Cha Cha

Maybe the wrist band could be set to give a suitable selection of background music when it detects the symbolic rhythm of the mating call,a hearty round of applause on completion and a reminder to use the Visa or Paypal app as the choice of payment for the young ladys company.

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EU Space Agency's Galileo satellites stricken by mystery clock failures

Arachnoid

Re: No longer functioning...

The Rubix clock..........it just needs someone clever enough to provide the solution

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Stop us if you've heard this one before: Seamen spread over California

Arachnoid

A smart cluster bomb system?

You could however make each a heat seeking smart bomb be it personel or vehicles

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Fitbit throws fit, emits writ for outfit's non-hit, rather sh*t, 'Fitbit' kit

Arachnoid

Re: You mean...

An Un-Fit Bit

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Is! Yahoo! dead?! Why! web! biz! will! rename! to! Altaba! – the! truth!

Arachnoid
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Re: JCEYUIJOKVBYHUJIOK.com

Yea but it takes someone with foresight like Google to grab the Alphabet

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UK Parliament suddenly remembers it wants to bone up cyber security *cough* Russia *cough*

Arachnoid
Mushroom

Change your passwords!

Thats usually the standard answer to security breeches........along with new pants to remove the stains

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Man jailed for 3 days after Texas cops confuse cat litter for meth

Arachnoid

Re: I carry a whole bag in winter

You should look into Liquid Snow Chain Spray.When you have an issue with tyres slipping in Snow a quick spray then wait for it to dry and your good for about 30 miles.Halfords or Amazon for a fiver per tin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hALJDiNnq-k

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If you bought a dildo in Denver, the government must legally be told

Arachnoid

Re: Back to us to beat them.

They also made it illegal to tell anybody they were spying on you so...........[knock,knock].....

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Kentucky pried chicken: Fried grease chain's loyalty club hacked

Arachnoid

Hacking?

Maybe they were after the secret source!

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Icelandic Pirate Party sails away from attempt to form government

Arachnoid

Pirates......

Shiver me timbers Pirates unable to come to an agreement what is this, the next episode of Pirates of the Caribbean me heartys?

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Small ISPs 'probably' won't receive data retention order following IP Bill

Arachnoid

ISISP

Now given so the story goes that Mafia types now own much of the legal Gambling in certain American cities would it not also be feasible that nefarious groups with lots of dosh from the sale of say Oil, to also opened their own ISPs that bypass such requirements for some individuals ...

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San Francisco's sinking luxury Millennium Tower: Tilt spotted FROM SPACE

Arachnoid
Pint

Escalators

They could just install a self levelling escalator to the front door from street level

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BOFH: The Hypochondriac Boss and the non-random sample

Arachnoid

Take my Money

Where`s my chair and which port do I connect it to on the server to access all the blocked por......er.... educational channels?

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BT will HATE us for this one weird 5G trick

Arachnoid

Re: Lage voices and small wallets

No you pay for your car not for your bicycle, hence my point cyclists pay nothing for the services provided.

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Arachnoid

Lage voices and small wallets

All this talk about changing things for cyclists yet not a bean is paid in road tax of any form by any cyclist on the road for the services they freely use and complain so much about,

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Matt LeBlanc handed £1.5m to front next two series of Top Gear

Arachnoid
Coat

The scenery would improve

If he got some of his old Friends to join the show

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Self-driving Google car T-boned in California crash

Arachnoid

Re: Is there a story here?

looks like neither vehicle had a competent human in control

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Uni student cuffed for 'hacking professor's PC to change his grades'

Arachnoid
IT Angle

The really smart ones don't get caught.

Gotta catch em all

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IBM swings axe through staff, humming contently about cloud and AI

Arachnoid

Box ticking

Unless your manager ticks all the boxes for company performance for that quarter you the employee are as valued as a chocolate fire guard.No matter how long you have shown loyalty,dedication and bitten your tongue when a new manager [intern] finds "better ways of working".

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Want a Windows 10 update? Don't go to Microsoft ... please

Arachnoid

Let me sing you the song of my elders

Only download updates direct from Microsoft used to be their song......

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UK nuke warhead builders shift IT gear into public cloud

Arachnoid

And then the system of mass information became self aware

It knew all our sins,all our little secrets and it knew how to defend itself from us.Darwin was proved right yet again as evolution made another step away from the carbon based life form.

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Shopped in an Eddie Bauer store recently? Your card's probably gone. It's just gone

Arachnoid
Joke

cash is king

Hack my wallet b**ch

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Microsoft can't tell North from South on Bing Maps

Arachnoid

All done by the insertion of a few lines of code

See the Iraq war did teach them something.This is just a prelude the U.S. are going to trial the system taking over Canada by virtually moving its borders upwards and go on from there.Thus in one stroke eliminating the need to send out an expensive invasion force to the country of their choice.

All your bases are ours!

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Windows 10 Anniversary Update completely borks USB webcams. Yay.

Arachnoid
FAIL

NSA fix!

The NSA will soon sort a fix out for this after losing access to all their end user webcams

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Snowden files confirm Shadow Brokers spilled NSA's Equation Group spy tools over the web

Arachnoid
Mushroom

Your Nan and everyone else in the World should be wearing armoured knickers

Even armoured knickers require making so are open to the installation of back doors during manufacture and once you have access you can modify the product to your desires.

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Idiot flies drone alongside Flybe jet landing at Newquay Airport

Arachnoid

UFO....

Whilst aircraft have excellent eye sight is there any viable proof that it was actually a drone in the incident it as in the past it would have been classed as a UFO?

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If you use ‘smart’ Bluetooth locks, you're asking to be burgled

Arachnoid

Re: Masterlock: keeping standards as low as possible

Theives quite openly use angle grinders to saw through chains and steal bikes in busy places so a hammer is not going to draw any more attention.

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London's 'automatic' Tube trains suffered 750 computer failures last year

Arachnoid

Vacancy for Robot Phsycologists now arising

" A hidden, recurring fault is often the most difficult to diagnose and cure – and may be indicative of a deeper problem."

Get in their first with a new line in Phsycology you could even name it after yourself.........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC_-r-J69qA

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Mars' 'little green men' buried alive by merciless meteorites – new theory

Arachnoid
Mushroom

Re: Just look for the styrofoam packaging...

Nah Shopping and Bin bags, man those things are near indestructable and last for thousands of years,They will be a lasting monument to mans achievements when we no longer reside on this planet and begin poluting another.

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Brit network O2 hands out free Windows virus with USB pens

Arachnoid

How much do Geeks Earn...?

About 40 drachmas a week!

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Ditch your Macs, Dell tells EMC staff

Arachnoid

The issue is

As the article surmises some of these device are BYOD so they are now dictating which of their own devices employees use for work

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She wants it. She needs it. Shall I give it to her or keep doing it by myself?

Arachnoid
IT Angle

Shirley........

You now a Harry Potter emulation specialist with all the dark arts you use!

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Security gurus get behind wheel of driverless car debate

Arachnoid

" where an accident results from a vehicle being hacked."

The cost of providing such evidence and proving it to the satisfaction of a court is way beyong many peoples income level.

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Blighty will have a whopping 24 F-35B jets by 2023 – MoD minister

Arachnoid

Cluster Drones

Mass drone attacks is the way forward as the defender could only disable so many but will still be overpowered by weight of numbers.

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Facebook offers end-to-end encrypted chat – if you find the right setting

Arachnoid
Thumb Down

ENCRYPTED [HOG WASH]>>>>>>>>

US authorities, who are determined to gather as much data as possible by whatever means necessary.

Companys whose data travels through US servers must comply with US laws regarding encryption and the ability of the authorised services to access such data

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Bees with numberplates will soon be buzzing around London. Why?

Arachnoid

Once again humans contaminating nature

So these Bees are being released into an area already stabalised and popualted by nature to its best extent allowing for human pollution and excess for taking over naturally evolving areas. What effect will they have on the already established wildlife?

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Good hacker uses vid vulns to spy on Quebec Liberal Party meetings

Arachnoid

its not the suppliers fault

As many reading this will know its not the suppliers fault if you fail to secure the system by changing the default password, only if there is an insecure firmware installed and even then Ive yet to see anyone prosecuted.

Simple security if its not in use turn it off at the mains.

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Cloudian clobbers car drivers with targeted ads

Arachnoid

Driverless Vehicles

Of course these will be targeted at driverless vehicles dont ya know, otherwise it could be claimed as a contributing factor in a accident M`laud.

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Stop resetting your passwords, says UK govt's spy network

Arachnoid

All very nice havin 2FA and password mangers till your secondary device or software stops working then what you stuffed.

Rather than making employees comply with company policy regarding accessing equipment a much easier solution,we had a 2FA software fitted to the euipment log in screen.The problem was the engineers who needed to access said equipment sometimes have problems getting the 2FA software runiing to generate a password so couldnt fix any issues until that was working.It got so bad some of the 2FA systems were disabled.

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TalkTalk: Data was 'secure', erm, we beat rivals on price. Um, scratch that...

Arachnoid

Get out of Jail free

"Unfortunatly due to a recent incursion to our servers by foriegn nationals ,incorrect data was intentionally inserted in the stored information database we used to corrolate our latest advertising literature"

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Victorian government teacher-laptop scheme illegal, says judge

Arachnoid

Re: Will the teachers get refunds?

Yes less a large admin fee and a fine for any damage to the said laptops then install large support fee for new BYOD devices

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Startup founder taken hostage by laid-off workers

Arachnoid

Re: Outsourcing

You mean all the Eastern Europeans? :D

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Amazon, GoDaddy get sueball for hosting Ashley Madison data

Arachnoid

Re: Comments still enabled?

As long as one uses the word allegedly Im sure Regtards will be fine allegedly

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NASA wants to send HEDGEHOGS to Mars

Arachnoid

Re: "Since you're dying for the video of the NASA test

There is a video but its hardly stellar.........its like watching a golfer trying to get a ball out of a sand bunker and failing

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Arachnoid

Given the Rover analogy

Of driving but ending up tumbling off into Space would this Hedgehog not be even more liable to just fly off the surface in such low gravity areas?

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British killer robot takes out two Britons in Syria strike

Arachnoid

I HOPE ALL THE VIRGINS

Are all Catholic nuns with an axe to grind

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Arachnoid

War..........

Its a convenient method to label anybody an enemy without trial or defence when they are an embarrassment or may speak out against you

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Gang charged with $1 MEEELLION MacBook Air heist

Arachnoid

So it just proves

Air is not free

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