* Posts by Desidero

196 posts • joined 12 May 2012

Page:

The ‘Vaping Crackdown’ starts today. This is what you need to know

Desidero

Re: About time

As long as they don't regulate vampires, the vapers can f*** off. I just need a pint of blood a day, not too much to ask, and not nearly as filthy as that liquid these e-fag smokers inhale. No tar, no nicotine, just a pure haemoglobin rush (and a bit of alcohol if you pinch someone coming home from teh pub - oh well, 2-for-1 special I suppose). Hit 'em in the jugular - they deserve it anyway.

5
1

Boffins' gravitational wave detection hat trick blows open astronomy

Desidero

Star Surfer

When gravity waves, it's just waving goodbye.

I'm afraid we must part with particles,

Einstein's beach has very minor ripples.

(wasn't that a cheap booze we used to imbibe?)

If we catch that wave, can we hang ten by dint?

(or just find a toehold, too small to mount)

I've seen things that some of you people'd astound, like

Gravity's Rainbow off Orion (if you really really squint)

0
0

Leak – UN says Assange detention 'unlawful'

Desidero

Re: @Desidero No legal force

Clearly the chance of 2 confirmed groupies comparing notes and getting jealous and reporting stuff done with only 2 people alone leads to arbitrary assignation of guilt and a real opportunity for legal abuse.

There is no fucking mechanism whereby we can tell whether he intentionally or not kept going after a condom may or may not have come off - they were alone, and having just had consensual sex, no semen tests or vaginal bruising or any typical rape metrics can be used. It's pure he said/she said, and if she's pissed at him *OR* if she's a CIA/NSA plant, there's plenty of motive to file a frivolous baseless charge. Him being a well-known public figure only ups the ante.

So leave the faux feminism in the cloakroom with all the other cheap furs.

1
0
Desidero

Re: No legal force

Wow, what a disapproving bunch - thought all the Bowie retrospectives would have at least got people waxing nostalgic for the age of free love and its mate, irresponsible sex, and alternate meanings of of "Red Head". What happened to Anarchy in the UK or the Blockheads? all in a nursing home I s'pose.

1
0
Desidero

Re: @Desidero No legal force

Stop using the bullshit rape word. He didn't rip her clothes off, he didn't violently take her, it's 1) a question about whether he continued after a condom broke and 2) whether he entered one girl again after she fell asleep. Both are he said-she said stories that the girls reported after everything seemed ok the next day until the 2 girls traded stories. There's nothing that a court or prosecutor could dig out of this bullshit case, but fortunately thousands of hours of expert musing at The Reg will rectify this moral dilemma. Meanwhile dozens die every day in Iraq, but we've solve the enigma of the half-used condom and the sleepy encounter. A beer for all - twaddle on home.

3
7
Desidero

Re: @ Desidero A completely meaningless ruling

No idea what chemtrails is. Don't much trust pharmaceutical companies nor Dick Cheney. Do you? But in any case, I hope you're not a My Lai and Abu Ghraib denier - those are historically documented events. Nice try at deflection though - you earn the twat-of-the-day award.

4
3
Desidero

Re: No legal force

What did that spokesbod say about spying on Merkel, intercepting as many EU phonecalls as passed through Blighty, or Hussein's 45 minutes over winterland capabilities? Or was that "spokespod"?

Anyway, must be a truly serious matter they're chasing Julian for, one that millions of males would be guilty of - overeager careless attitudes towards sex with a stranger, including gasp with alcohol, maybe even spleef. The 60's & 70's have officially left the building. Hell, even the rave years are distant memories now.

4
24
Desidero

Re: A completely meaningless ruling

That's why they set him up this way - they get lots of support from the "law and order" crowd cursing the bloody anarchist hippies. Helps to have reflexive allies, no? In the US they just talk about building a wall and fret about police being able to do their job post-Ferguson, and supportive fans pop out of the woodwork.

10
27
Desidero

Re: A completely meaningless ruling

The fact that Eric Snowden releases exposed the far reach of the NSA, such as spying on Merkel for years or smuggling weapons from Benghazi to Syria, gives us pretty clear understanding that Assange wasn't just paranoid. The treatment of Bradley/Courtney Manning, including debasing 24 hour strip confinement & punitive "suicide" watch only strengthens the argument.

A setup over an exploding condom should have been enough Monty Python for Islanders to appreciate. Sadly you blokes seem to trust government much more than you did in the 70's punk era - guess that's how you ended up carrying Bush's luggage on the way into Iraq. Pretty flat learning curve here.

Assange reasonably assumed these bastards were out to get him, setting him up with groupies and bogus charges, which of course is classic takedown - could have set him up with kiddie porn or if Russian put radioactive tabs in his coffee - makes little difference - discredited is defanged, and the US didn't want any more videos of soldiers killing civilians - My Lai & Abu Ghraib got way too much TV time. But at this point, Assange is as forgotten as Michael "Dude, where's my country" Moore - score another 1 for the military complex.

45
43

Assange will 'accept arrest' on Friday if found guilty

Desidero

Re: Wil be glad to have him out of the news

Either that or he continues his work at Wikileaks and documents how the US + UK bollocksed their way to the rise of ISIS and the EU's refugee crisis - that report would be worth 12.5m quid in bobby fees all by its lonesome. The story behind a decade of groundless attacks against Iran would be bonus.

1
1
Desidero

Re: He "agrees" to arrest?

I think he used the asylum process exactly as he should have.

Yes, he's more important than most citizens in that he released videos of war crimes by the world's greatest military power. Perhaps you can discern distinctions, but I can.

That he was taken down by groupies with "exploding condoms" are the only inverted commas I need to see.

The later revelations about the NSA & Britain's own spook service (GCHK?) only increase his importance - he inspired Eric Snowden.

To pull a Godwin, technically Anne Frank broke the law and was guilty of crimes far past her self-imposed detention. Shame on her, eh? But she could have surrendered at any time to face her charges, yet chose not to do it, instead resorting to self-aggrandizing by writing a sensational little memoir. Talk about egotistical martyr syndrome.

1
4

Chinese unleash autonomous airborne taxi

Desidero

Re: Blade Runner

Whatever Julienne fries are.

0
0

HPE's London boozer dubbed the 'Hewlett You Inn?'

Desidero

Clouded House

Assume they can get an Open Sauce license from HP,

but suggest they don't add Fudge Packard to the menu,

whatever David's ahem proclivity.

0
1

Kiwi judge rules Kim Dotcom can be extradited to USA

Desidero

Re: Huh, Wha'?

So Assange should be removed to Sweden, where the complainants got laid.

Clear enough.

2
2

Assange inquisition closer after Sweden, Ecuador sign pact

Desidero

Re: Once

The US managed to put Assange on ice for 3 years, effectively ending his exposure of things like our strafing civilians, our Arab buddies' misadventures, and probably a banking scandal (Bank of America?) that got hushed up.

Assange on the other hand was spared the Bradley Manning 23-hours naked, wake every hour "suicide" watch, and the typical American gang-rape cell, and the possibility like prisoners in Guantanamo he would simply be held forever without charge.

Roman Polanski's still welcome in France, and that's after drugging and anally raping a 13-year-old, so I wish people would stop talking about Assange's imputed "bad behavior".

0
0
Desidero

Re: rumour has it

"dero", like in "truth or dare?"

Looked again - "...pursuit of fame, power, wealth, or status..." - power or wealth? hard to see a big bank account or more than easy dibs on table at Tiffiany's. (worn out) Welcome at certain embassies I guess.

Fame or status, I suppose, but less complicated & dangerous paths than pissing off America's spooks and war machine.

0
0
Desidero

Re: Once

@Helpmann And it would deliver a debilitating blow to your ego if you ever realized that the excesses Assange was reporting was what led to the cockup in Libya where we unleashed militias everywhere, and the one smuggling weapons into Syria where instead of rebel-love regime change we got ISIS.

All Assange got was a free AirBnB. The rest of us - especially the Levant and Tripoli and the ones who get to sort out a million refugees - got shafted. But sure, laugh at Assange, because he has blond hair or something.

1
2
Desidero

Re: rumour has it

@LucreLout

Yeah, it's a confirmed path to riches posting videos of US flyboys strafing civilians, because Americans always care about appearance of injustice. Assange was just in it for the money and the CIA-provided poontang. If it hadn't been for the incredible exploding condom and a well-timed tandem Norse groupie remorse, he would have been playing Mike Myers in the Spy Who Shagged Me II.

1
0

Steve Jobs mural highlights plight of Syrian refugees

Desidero

Re: Not Another Steve Jobs Nor Another Apple

Jobs' biological father also headed a society in Syria that was disbanded due to its violent protests. Not sure Banksy was alluding to that - oh wait, he wasn't - or Jubs' subsequent Calvinist upbringing with his stepfather a repo man.

Nor was Banksy using this bit about Apple's taxes to allude to the amount of money Apple underpays worldwide with lawsuits in several unhappy countries.

Glib street art is sometimes a bit *too* glib.

4
0

SpaceX starts nine-day countdown to first flight of the new Falcon

Desidero

Re: Matchless 500 single?

How about just design it to land on its side and slide into a pile of hay?

Worked in all the Keystone Cops and Buster Keaton episodes I remember.

0
0

ISS 'naut trio return to snowy terra firma

Desidero

Holy shit! ISIS is in space now? oh wait, missing an I (eye for an eye?). Mission control, need more coffee...

2
0

Booming Ballmer bellows 'bulls**t' over Microsoft's cloud revenue run rate

Desidero

Re: I can does grammar

this => these; does => do

0
0
Desidero

Re: @Charlie Clark

MSSQL? Xbox? SharePoint & Dynamics? even Azure appears to be doing quite well, say #2 in a tough hosted cloud industry. Ballmer blew mobile phones, but so did Motorola, Blackberry & Nokia - fine company. The bigger point is Ballmer did better on Business software than he did on consumer.

1
3

Microsoft Windows: The Next 30 Years

Desidero

Yeah, awful Atatürk couldn't keep things under control 80 years after his death. Maybe time to depose him?

1
0

Clueless Anonymous asks the powerless to save dolphins

Desidero

Hmmm... my guess is the downvotes are for SomeGOPWingNut, but maybe someone was upset about me conflating the head of Buddhism with a cloned sheep. Touchy touchy.

0
0
Desidero

For New Zealand they can do @KimDotCom - for most others @DearGreatLeader will suffice.

For US, they can get a headstart with @SomeGOPWingnut.

For all humanity, try @DollyLama [@DollyLlama in Peru]

But for the largest source of intergalactic influence try @TaylorSwift

And for raw naked power, @SmileySirius

0
2

Goodfella's attack smacks Slack chap for whack crack? It's a fact, Jack

Desidero

Re: That is not verbal evisceration

Bob said, "You talkin' to me? there's about a geelion fuckin' actors here and youze a nobody - you talkin' to me? I dont even know who the fuck you are"

And with that he snorted another line of coke off his Breguet watch, and looks at the crowd... "Whaaatt? watcha lookin at? My name is Rupert Pupkin and I've been lookin' for this theater all night - I asked my mom how to get here from Jersey, and she said 'practice practice practice'.... I sez, 'Ma, that's terrible - they told that joke in the 30's'. 'she says, "and what? you're over 30"

Really, Butterfield was lucky he didn't get whacked - you don't fuck around with the mob - look at that greaser in Goodfellas - had a temper like a firecracker. Should have asked De Niro about his plumbing - that movie (Brazil) was at least a comedy. Kinda.

0
0

Music lovers move to block Phil Collins' rebirth

Desidero

Re: Say 'No' to puns based on Phil Collins/Genesis song titles

You're messing up the internet meme...

"Top 10 amazing puns based on Phil Collins you won't belI've..."

0
0
Desidero

Re: Quite

Okay, I had *your* girlfriend for a time. More believable?

1
1
Desidero

Re: Gated reverb is luvverly (especially with a bit of reverse)

Collins was quite good on Gabriel's 3Rd album (Games without Frontiers et al) even while putting out his own crap. Thing is, with a mic he was a monkey

On a drummer he was quite skilled.

3
0
Desidero

Re: Quite

Oh please, Phil Collins stepped out from behind the drumseat of a rather talented band, for a while filled Peter Gabriel's vocal and writing boots quite admirably, and then lost it on Motown re-tread, schlock easy listening snoozers, and bouncy annoying junk that would make Billy Joel cringe. He was like a little boy, glurging over his over-excited pre-pubescent tastes with no self-restraint. I had a girlfriend at the time who wanted me to appreciate his sensitive side. Instead I grabbed my backpack and hit the road. 30 years later, you should too - just move on. As for the UN peacekeepers put in place to keep him in retirement, I suggest hazardous duty pay.

6
3

Linus looses Linux 4.3 on a waiting world

Desidero

And my Android autocorrect spelling. Some of the mistakes are truly ambitious - far more than a mere moron could aspire to.

1
0

How Chairman Mao's secret military project led to a Nobel Prize

Desidero

Yes, go to YouyouTu.be

And do do that voodoo that Youyou Tu do so well.

1
0

Scotland Yard pulls eyeballs off WikiLeaker-in-Chief Assange

Desidero

Folks, whoever sent in the "rape" groupies and the incredible exploding condom managed to derail Wikileaks for the last 3-4 years - the US doesn't care anymore. Certainly drone strikes can continue unabated, the Halliburton hit squads have successfully rebranded, and there's no more talk about "Arab Spring" outside of bath soap.

I just wish Sweden could have proffered at least one fish charge like the famous red snapper from the Vanilla Fudge.

2
0

Virtualisation blog 'of interest to Interpol'

Desidero

His name is Eamon, and he was innocently carrying a cake.

1
0

Autonomy 'poisoned the well' for businesses seeking VC cash

Desidero

Pretty silly - Exalead got bought off the market by Dassault about the same time as Microsoft bought Fast & bundled with Bing & Sharepoint. But Google had a search appliance out at the same time too, and typically people would just buy it because they weren't that interested in evaluating the difference between Autonomy, Exalead, Fast or Google - they took the perceived market leader at a much cheaper price point than the others (ok, not sure about Fast), or they moved to OpenSource Lucene/Solr or its more trendy upstart competitor ElasticSearch. I don't bet that either of the latter is doing that well with support contracts.

In short, Search went commodity and no one wanted to pay for it. VCs should definitely beware. Not because of HP, but because of lack of paying customers and competing against Google. But sure, Mike Lynch is the AntiChrist & HP wuz robbed. Feel better?

0
0

Fiorina: I rushed out HP servers to power NSA snooping. Mwahahaha!

Desidero

Re: That's nothing

Spring-boarding?

4
0

More email misery and pillory for Hillary as FBI starts quizzery

Desidero

Re: Safest Option?

BYOD = Bring Your Own Disk? (& rest of server)

0
0

Shattered Skype slowly staggers to its feet after 15-HOUR outage outrage

Desidero

Re: expensive international calls.

Well, you're the auld dinosaure, ain't ya?

I'm supposed to text or email the dozens of people I communicate wtih regularly just to see if they're about and something important, rather than the easy ping that Skype supplies?

Or I use a different IM and convince hundreds of contacts that they should join a new service?

Let me guess, Google+? or a more stable Tinder based on AWS service? (oops)

3
1

Global warming stopped in 1998? No it didn't. If you say that, you're going to PRISON

Desidero

Re: So if I understand this correctly...

It would be more consistent to not trust the scientific establishment on global warming *AND* vaccines/disease control, *OR* believe in them both.

The scientific and PR methods in both are similar - why should 1 be sound & the other flawed?

Unless there's a huge money motive to gin up one and not the other - but from where I sit, there's lots of cash to be made in both expanded vaccines & mitigating warming.

3
4

JetBrains refuses to U-turn on subscriptions (but sweetens the deal)

Desidero

Re: It's never been easy...

Google is moving from Java to native code because its attempt to use someone else's work for free wasn't quite the slam dunk they wanted.

[rolling over billionaires isn't as simple as tossing a few bitcoins to the typical garage hacker]

But when Google open sources those search algorithms and stops complicating life for Android forkers, I'll make up all kissy-kissy.

0
0

SAP CEO McDermott loses AN EYE, almost his life in horror plunge

Desidero

Re: Best of luck to him on his recovery.

I thought Tumblr was already virtualized.

Tumbling with tumbler = (tumblr)^2, exponential growth.

Memo to self: keep head in the clouds, but feet on the ground.

Sadly, "keep your eye on the horizon" was a bit too literal.

0
0

Brown kid with Arab name arrested for bringing home-made clock to school

Desidero
Mushroom

If it was a public school in Texas, presumably they thought no student could actually tell time - aside from ante-Diluvian or post.

Couldn't they disarm him with StuxNet? I thought that was the universal vaccine, the strange but loving anti-Strangelove.

1
1

Google's Moto-v-Microsoft appeal denied

Desidero

Oh, please, have faith - like with trademarks, the US will figure out how to extend to 70 years and then eternity.

0
1

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Desidero

Lessee - "Thin computer + snake = Cloudscale"?

another Surface with a useless keyboard?

the new "Alice Cooper Touch"?

circus artist's rendering of Apple's new "Pencil"?

Rattler & Hum...

"Snake Eyes" Retina display?

Type => Swype => Slither

0
0

Cuffed Texan woman holsters loaded gun IN VAGINA

Desidero

Re: Rocky Roccoco

Speaking of "imagine", I found myself thinking if she'd been able to pack in a couple cigars and a few minibottles of whiskey, she was all set for a knockout Saturday night.

0
0
Desidero
Pint

Re: Rocky Roccoco

Whew, someone else here is old & twisted enough to remember. Next round's on me.

4
0
Desidero
Paris Hilton

another article on The Internals of Things?

sticking up, er, for her Right to Burrow Arms?

was she Barreling down the Highway?

& the old standard, "Rocky Roccoco, at your cervix" -

I assume she was worried it'd go off half-cocked.

4
0

You tried to hide your extramarital affair … by putting it on the web?

Desidero

Are you that real-life guy they based Shaun of the Dead on?

0
0

Glaring flaw in Apple car hype-gasm: The iGiant likes to make money

Desidero

Re: "Drive on the left" signs

No, 2 wrongs make or meet up in Switzerland (actually, a menage-a-trois mashup). How the Alps got all high & pointy.

0
0

Page:

Forums