@ryanthelion
Ryan, I'll assume you really know what you want and aren't pursuing some dream of an America that died ten years ago - you might want to think about that. But here's some advice from a guy that did it.
The conventional path is for you and your wife to shovel shit for at least five years, always in fear of falling out with your employer (who has to pay substantial fees and file all the papers on time), and hope the immigration officer who makes the final decision after five years isn't in a shitty mood, otherwise it's back to square 1.
A more certain method is to divorce, come to the US as visitors and each marry Americans. Your British accents will give you a pronounced advantage over the home team. It will still take over five years before you can breathe easily, but it becomes more difficult to deport you meanwhile, though to be on the safe side you shouldn't leave the country until the process is complete.
An alternative is to go to Cuba and take the boat. Since the US regards Cuba as an evil communist dictatorship that tortures its citizens, everyone from there is automatically granted asylum and citizenship as a refugee. You will have to convince an immigration officer that you lost your papers on the way, and will be a more credible refugee if you can speak Spanish. Tell the officer you promise always to vote Republican.
Yet another alternative is to become Ministers of Religion. We don't have enough of them, and there are special visa programs with fast-track citizenship. It doesn't much matter what religion, so long as it's nominally Christian and you can get some organization to ordain you both. Ministers of Religion are free to pursue any career - TV personality, theme park proprietor, university founder, etc etc - and there are great tax incentives.