39 posts • joined Friday 22nd June 2007 16:04 GMT
First car drives a few hundred yards ahead of the second car. First car doesnt have a camera on top but a loudspeaker. First car has a passanger that warns people that the second car is on its way and people should close their blinds, move away from the porn shop, stop urinating in the street, or stop trying to break into a property.
Yes this would be more expensive, but as its google the first car could also play adverts enabling google to reach people who dont have access to internet or use ad blocker of some sort
Plus would give every one ample time to drop trou and let the second car know what we think of it
"My parents aren't in outer hebrides, but a village (surrounded by vilages) in norfolk with a population of about 1200 people 8 miles from Fakenham"
Want to know something really funny, the local primary school has a nice 10mb fibre connection. I work at a high school not too far from there, we get a nice 100mb fibre connection while the local residents are lucky to get more than 1mb on adsl. Stupid amounts of money have been spent giving schools fibre connections while BT were doing this in the rural parts of Norfolk why on earth didnt they lay fibre to the cabinets
Seems a bit expensive
Considering the price of a 250GB drive is only a couple pounds more than a 120GB drive. I guess the trick is to bundle it with a game so the consumer thinks they are getting a good deal when in reality they arent.
RE: Why did he go to the police?
Or maybe they didnt finish what they started?
Felt sorry for the guys giving the demo
They seemed a bit embarrassed at first and the whole presentation looked like it was rushed and was going to be a bit of a car wreck. Once the guy playing though got over his nerves and actualy managed to do something other than swing unsuccessfuly at a ball it did look rather fun and impressive even if it has been seen before.
The problem Sony have though is its more peripheral than controller. With the Wii the controller is part of the console, you play games with it, you browse the web with it, you can turn it on and off with it without controller you are stuffed. Project Natal could ship with future 360's, maybe part of the elite package and while it wont work with current games you can still use the other functions of the console with it and can expect full integration and it could easily relegate the current controller to a secondary device you use to play games. Sony's effort just looks like its there for games which could prove its downfall. Ok so could be used to browse the PS3 menus but the Wii controller is like a remote, people use remotes all the time its normal, Natal will use hand gestures, just like in the movies how impressed will people be when they see you controlling your tv with just your hand. Sonys effort though would require two glow sticks in your hand doing little fish big fish cardboard box to queue up a movie.
Sony should of just kept quiet about it, and left it to CES. It would of probably been the finished product by then and it would then be released a few weeks later. What they should of done at E3 was announce a price cut, that would of won them the show and not doomed them to second place (Nintendo always get last place, not sure why they even bother turning up).
Its amazing how quick kids learn
My nephew at 8 months knew what a tv remote was for, while it was cute at first to watch him attempt to change the channel when he couldnt get it to work he resorted to throwing the remote at the tv, luckily he wasnt strong enough and the remote bounced harmlessly on the floor.
These days though at 20 months he has mastered the art of changing channel, he even knows that the sky remote doesnt always turn the tv on so uses the tv remote to do that. He knows how to switch on PC's and laptops and that to do things on them you need to use a mouse and keyboard, though after a while of hitting random keys and waving the mouse around with no luck he resorts to hitting the keyboard with the mouse. So already he has the technical knowledge of the average Windows user
Missed the obvious excuse
Should of claimed it was research....
Am I the only one scared that this woman could end up as PM. Conservatives should win the next election hands down, by the time the election after that rolls round the global recession will be over and they will win another term. Next election and cracks are starting to show but Labour have yet to find anyone with any personality to challange. After that election though cameron steps down wanting to leave at the top (and more importantaly knows there is a shit storm on the way) and someone who has zero chance of winning the next election gets made party leader and our PM. Labour see this is their best chance of winning but dont want to take any risks and need a dead cert, they think about going the obama route but dont want to scare middle england so instead decide a woman is the best bet to secure votes. And thats how Jacqui Smith ends up as PM
Sims 3 just doesnt need it
Sims 3 is going to be one of the most pirated games of the year, but it will also be one of the biggest sellers. And any money they "lose" from pirate copies they will more than make up with the endless amounts of expansions that do nothing more than add a few extra bits of furniture
Is it just me or does that sound a rubbish story? If thats the best they can come up with its no wonder the movie never happend and the show got relegated to Dave.
"Still, I'd probably opt for a clean install anyway, since I'll be starting with a clean slate. Not really a good option for those managing a large network, having adopted a "We don't need no stinkin' Vista" attitude though."
Those managing a large network are not going to go round running an upgrade on each pc. They may put on their timesheets that they spent 20 hours over the weekend upgrading pc's but most of that will be spent in the pub while the pc copies an image accross from a server
Dear Internet User
It has come to our attention that you use the "Internet". As you may be aware there are some websites on the "Internet" that allow visitors to illegally download copyrighted material, the common name for this is "Piracy". It is believed that "Piracy" costs the music industry billions of pounds a year in lost revenue though we cant really be sure as the little research that has been done regarding "Piracy" suggests it doesnt have a major impact, but the record companies tell us it does and we believe them. The "Piracy" problem is so wide spread that it would cost the Record Industry billions to take everyone to court so we the Government have decided to step in.
As you are a user of the "Internet" we are going to asume you are a criminal and download things illegally. Dont worry though, we wont take you to court instead we will fine you a small amount on a monthly basis and once we have taken our share of said amount as a handling fee whats left will go towards Amy Winehouse's heroin bill.
If you believe that this fine (hereby called Internet Tax) does not apply to you we are sorry but no refunds can be given. By all means though feel free to help yourself to the wide range of music, video and games available to download illegally as after all you are now paying for it.
PS please vote for us in the next election
Sonys guide to the credit crunch
Step 1: Spend vast amounts of money on R&D
Step 2: Come up with a product that on paper is fairly impressive but in practice useless
Step 3: Spend vast amounts of money making it look pretty
Step 4: Spend vast amounts of money marketing the thing
Setp 5: Release the fairly impressive but in practice useless product in Japan and US at a price point higher than anything else on the market, if they complain slag off the competition and say your product is the best and people are paying for quality
Step 6: Wait a few months
Step 7: Release fairly impressive but in practice useless product in Europe for twice the price it costs in Japan and US, if they complain blame VAT
Step 8: Lose billions
Tried getting support when an app goes wrong and its running through Wine? Even if you are 99.999999999% certain its an app related problem rather than a OS based problem they wont want to know
Not only do I now have Hearts Barracuda going round my heard but also have an urge to play Guitar Hero 3.
What? Its Friday
High Street optician Vision Express has warned that many people aren’t getting the full adavantage of HD quality telly because their specs, contact lenses or good old unaided peepers aren’t strong enough and should immidiatly pop down to their local Vision Express to see the new range of HD ready glasses and contact lenses.
Movie was ruined for me
"In the opening car chase, the Aston Martin and Alfa Romeo go round a pack of cars stuck in traffic. When the policeman uses his radio, you can see a blue Vauxhall Corsa in the background. You can see the badge on it and it is actually a Vauxhall Corsa with Italian number-plates, which is incorrect as Vauxhall cars are branded as Opel in continental Europe."
I noticed that as well, walked out in disgust. Manager wouldn’t even give me my money back. I hope somebody got fired for that mistake
An idea whose time came too early?
Well it was bound to fail if they think the idea was ahead of its time. Have they not heard of the internet? If you base a gaming competition round TV deals you have failed to actualy understand who your target audience is. Doesnt help that the results are going to be posted on news sites before its shown on TV so while watching people play games on TV is boring enough when you know the result its a total non event.
They also tried to make superstars out of gamers, that aint going to work either. In every sport there are armchair fans who think they are better than the pros, with gaming though most of the armchair fans are going to be better than the pros. Add to that the majority of the pros are all about the same age, have no responsibilities and live with their parents. People the same age resent them and people older than them think they are dicks.
So you have a group of people nobody likes competing in a tournament closed to the majority of players and the whole thing is shown on TV after the results have been posted on the web. Yeah thats going to work.
Gaming can and will work as a sport but unlike any other sport all ages, sexes, races, and lard asses can compete on the same grounds. It will never create huge superstars that sponsors will like and it wont be a massive spectator sport. But exploit the fact that anyone can compete and organise it over the net and you are on to a winner.
Paris, as she can handle a joystick better than anyone else
Shouldnt the police be up for charges as well?
Since he didnt stop jerking off while they were beating him could be argued he was getting sexual pleasure from it. So were they an accessory to his offensive behaviour?
Dont bring Manchester Cathedral into it!
"A few months ago they release a game set in an exact digital replica of a cathedral. The church complained (with some justification) that they were not happy about such a violent sequence being set inside an exact replica of their place of worship. Sony basically said STFU and released it anyway, because it is the Christians and no-one is bothered about pissing them off"
Slightly twisted view on what actualy happend. Sony released a game in November 2006 that didnt have one single complaint until June 2007 when the main complaint from the cathedral was COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! The game was out for 7 months and during that time not one Christian played it? Or is it more likely lots of Christians played it they just didnt get offended by something so trivial. The Cathedral even shamelessly used a couple of shootings that happend a few days early to draw attention to their Copyright Infringement claim. They didnt want the game banned, they just wanted the images of Manchester Cathedral removed, not the cathedral completly just the likeness oh and a substantial donation as well.
"Note that no-one has named the original track name or artist name, and presumably if you so wished you could still go and by the music."
The song is Tapha Niang by Toumani Diabaté who is actualy a devote Muslim. The main point and probably reason for recall is the translation of the quotes. What they say is "Every soul shall have the taste of death" and "All that is on earth will perish". Now considering this is a family game and the main character is a very marketable plushy I would wager religion plays a very small part in why it was recalled
My local postie is a hero
When I get a package sent and I am not home to collect it rather than take the said package to the main depot which is about 5 miles away he takes it to the local post office which is about 100 yards away.
Of course the local post office only opens between 9am and 5pm and it never occurs to him that perhaps the reason I am not there is because I have a job and taking it there rather than the main depot which opens at 8am and closes at 7pm is a huge fucking inconvenience as I have to get up early on a Saturday (it closes at 12pm on a Saturday, which is early for me) and then have to spend half an hour in a queue just to find out it was a bloody free sample of soap powder *takes deep breath*
I did always wonder though why Postman Pat takes a cat round with him, but its obvious really. Dogs hate cats more than postman so if he ever gets chased by a savage pitbull he can simply throw the cat at it and make a quick escape while Jess is ripped to shreds
What a horrible world it would be
Imagine a world wiped out by bird flu, the only survivors are Daily Mail staff. Surely they would need to vacinate a some ethnic minorities and peados so they would have something to talk about?
Can get baseball on it as well
With no need for a wii remote. Place phone in one hand, hold baseball bat in other, throw phone upwards then grab the bat with the hand that was holding the phone. Now quickly swing the bat while trying to hit the phone
Best played outside and not on a crowded train
Surely its just less hassel to reinstall?
Laptop would of come with a recovery disk, so just ghost an image of drive, insert cd and stick xp on and take back to get fixed. Sure can become some consumer hero looking for 15 minutes of fame but doesnt get your laptop fixed any quicker does it?
loss of concentration, fatigue, reduced memory and headaches
Hmmm looking back to when I was at school
Loss of concentration? Check
Reduced memory? Possible, was a long time ago and cant remember that far back
Headaches? Dunno if I had them but was a good excuse to get morning/afternoon off so check
Maybe I should sue for being subjected to government experiements when I was at school. Or maybe as it was over 15 years ago my claims are pointless rather like those being made at the moment
With Manhunt 2 banned, Rockstar need to rethink their strategy for Wii games. Manhunt Party would be a great chance to break into the Wii market. Rather than use realistic gory graphics can can use the Mii’s
Game 1: Super Strangulation Bros
Using the Wii remote and nunchuck you have to strangle your Mii until its eyes pop out
Game 2: Viva Pimpata
Your hoes have been giving you grief, using the Wii remote and nunchuck smack that bitch around till she gives you the $ she has been holding out on. Kind of like Wii boxing but you don’t want to do too much damage to one area of the ho as if you do it reduces her street value
Game 3: Ninja Gaydong
Isometric view, you have to stalk a Mii hiding behind cars, trees, and bushes. When you are close enough to the mii the screen switches view and you are shown a series of gestures, complete each gesture to move onto the next part of the game. First gesture is to get the mii in a headlock, second is to pin them up against a car, and third is to pull their trousers down. Once you have the mii prone the game changes to a rhythm game and using the wii remote and nunchuck you have to thrust in time with the on screen display. Lose your rhythm too much and you lose your erection and its game over, hit the rhythm and the victim yelps
Game 4: Wee sports
Using the Wii remote urinate over a tied up Mii, points are awarded for in the eyes, up the nose and in the mouth. The mii’s head is moving so not an easy task to hit the targets, once you have hit a combo though you flick the nunchuck as if you were opening a lighter, then have to do a flick down motion on the movement stick until the lighter lights, a sideways flicking motion will then throw the lighter on your opponents mii setting them on fire. When they are on fire no points can be scored until the player extinguishes the mii by pissing on the flames
Game 5: Bukkake Momma: Jerk off
Bukkake Momma loves the cock! There is a line of 5 mii’s all with blank expression on their faces. Using the Wii remote you have to jerk off each mii until they shoot their load on your face. When jerking off a mii their expression changes until they have a big grin on their face. once a Mii’s head starts bobbing they are about to cum, moving the control stick can move between mii’s and bonus points are scored if you can get combo cums (cumbos) which means making a mii come 5 seconds after another one. Once a mii has cum they go soft for a while but get hard again so can go back to them, game has a set time limit though a player can win if he get a 5 mii cumbo
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