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* Posts by monkeyfish

374 posts • joined 19 Apr 2012

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Rounded corners? Pah! Amazon's '3D phone has eye-tracking tech'

monkeyfish
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I own a 3DS, but the 3D effect stays off. It's all well and good so long as you look directly at the screen and don't move it. Only, it's a hand-held console, so small movements are inevitable. As such, the 3D effect pops in and out the whole time I use it, and that screws with my brain. Hopefully the eye-tracking tech works a bit better, but I'm yet to be convinced by any 3D tech I've seen (outside of an old plastic viewmaster, that is!).

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Google kills fake anti-virus app that hit No. 1 on Play charts

monkeyfish
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Re: You need to understand,

A verified subset of the play store (as suggested above somewhere) would be a very good thing. Android could easily have a setting to allow non-verified apps from the Play store (the same as installing non-play store apps).

That said, if you want a cheap, largely locked down, non-apple smart phone, then I would suggest a look at a WP Nokia. It'll do maps, email, facebook, most of what people want, but won't let you download dodgy apps from anywhere you like.

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Where the HELL is my ROBOT BUTLER?

monkeyfish
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Re: maybe

What are you talking about? We have fantastic batteries right now. It's just that as soon as the capacity goes up, so does the processing power and what we expect to do with it. How long would a palm pilot last if you connected to a modern battery from a note 3? Most of the year I'd bet.

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Is this photo PROOF a Windows 7 Start Menu is coming back?

monkeyfish
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Re: Still doesn't look as usable

His only valid point (and presumably where the upvotes came from?), is that it is beyond him why MS couldn't have given Aero as an option. XP came with a 2000 option, as did vista and 7. I've not used 8 much, so I can't tell you if there is still a 'make it grey' option, but an Aero option would have been nice. For that matter, allowing 7 to access the win8 app store (in a dedicated access and run apps program) would have given them a welcome influx of customers, but nevermind.

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That's it, we're all really OLD: Google's Gmail is 10 ALREADY

monkeyfish
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Re: It's not that hard.

Fair enough, I'll concede to that. But it amazes me the number of people who complain about some new feature cluttering the interface, but never actually check the settings to see if they can turn it off. My wife and extended family included, even though some of them are computer literate in many other ways.

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monkeyfish
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Re: Conversation/Threading view is sh*te

@Gene Cash

Click on a conversation to open it, see the 'reply' button, there is a drop-down arrow. Click on it. 5th one down is 'delete this message'.

What am I? Googles tech support?

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monkeyfish
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Settings button (the one that looks like a cog) > Configure inbox > untick everything but 'primary'

Then settings button (again) > Settings > Labels > switch important (and anything else you didn't want) to 'hide'

It's not that hard.

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monkeyfish
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Seeing screenshots of the old Gmail...

...reminds me how much I liked it. I've got used to the G+ style since, but I turned it off for as long as I could.

As an aside, if they want a new killer feature, I've got one I suggested to them years ago: Let me select multiple emails with different subjects and put them in one 'conversation'. It's a pita when someone changes the subject slightly and forces the whole thing into a different list.

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Vodafone brings African tech to Europe

monkeyfish
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@A J Stiles Indeed. I have a long-standing phobia about utility bills, so my electricity is paid for in advance through a key meter. The money is in my supplier's bank account, earning interest for them, before the juice comes down the wires to me. And yet they would give me a discount for paying in arrears by direct debit.

That is exactly backwards. In fact, now I come to think of it, it's borderline disability discrimination.

Not to be corporate shill, but try looking for a company called Ebico. They are an energy company with just one tariff. One. That means it doesn't matter how you pay, your always on the cheapest tariff, and you don't get bumped on a more expensive one because you didn't switch this year. They were 3rd cheapest on a comparison website when I switched about 4 years ago, and I'm still paying a competitive price.

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3CX Phone System takes on the corporate mobiles

monkeyfish
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There are some maddeningly small touch targets..

That's because you bought a ipad mini retina...

All the apps will have been designed for the 10" version, and since the resolution is the same, all buttons and controls will shrink with the screen. Even the non-retina mini has the same problem, difficult to read the text on the home screen for instance (even with text set to big, it doesn't adjust it). Saying this as my in-laws recently got one, and the experience is not great compared to a full size one. You'd have thought that 'easy to use' apple would have thought about that, but apparently not.

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ISPs failing 13m Brits on broadband speed, claims consumer group

monkeyfish
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Or more precisely, you don't get what you can't pay for. Outside of inner cities, fibre is simply not an option available to you. Otherwise I would have switched many years ago.

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Intel reinvents the PC as giant 'Black Brook' fondleslab

monkeyfish
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Re: Water damage in 3,2,1

Oi, leave me alone! I only missed a lettr!

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monkeyfish
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Re: unintended humour

Have you tried drinking out of non-handled mugs? By the time you can pick it up, your tea is cold.

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monkeyfish
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Re: cheese

Hi Dad, can I borrow the PC? I'll have push it up the hill to Jimmy's house...

What a wonderful mental image.

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monkeyfish
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Re: unintended humour

Like the luggable TVs and monitors of old: See it is potable, it's got a handle and everything.

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Google wearables: A solution looking for a rich nerd

monkeyfish
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Re: Not so fast, Mister.

Second thoughts, they could already do this with the current designs:

One giant phone/tablet (could have up to 10" if not holding it to your head) + current smart watch.

Of course, you might look a little silly holding the watch to your head to make a call, but no sillier than shouting into an ear-piece or holding a phablet (ugh, horrible word) to your head.

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monkeyfish
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Not so fast, Mister.

I can imagine a scenario when these could take off (assuming they are cheap enough/good enough):

Do not connect it to your phone. Do not have a 'phone'.

Do connect it to your 3G/4G tablet, which is in your bag.

Do not have an 'internet connection' on the watch, link that to the tablet. It's too small for browsing anyway.

Do have the phone gubbins in the watch.

Phones are either a) too small for the internet and everything you want to do with them, or b) too big to put in your pocket. So don't have one. If it's connected to the tablet, then let it update you with info and maybe also video call (Dick Tracy anyone?). If not, then it is a 'dumb phone' in a watch shape (+ a camera, that'll get the newspapers going). Happily you would only need one camera on it, so you would either point it at yourself or hold it up like a nutter to take something else.

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QUIDOCALYPSE: Blighty braces for £100 MILLION cost of new £1 coin

monkeyfish
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Re: "it has 15 faces (12 bevels, obverse, reverse, outer edge)"

12 sides, 2 faces, and the Queens face = 15, duh.

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monkeyfish
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Re: Facebook?

The rest of us can skive off in here...

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monkeyfish
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Re: £500 to update each parking machine?

Or remove them altogether. Your town centre shops will receive an up-tick in sales as a result of having more people willing to park. Said shops may then not go out of business, and empty shops may be re-filled. The council will receive money for having the shops, and not the parking.

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Osbo's booze, bingo, biz and big data Budget

monkeyfish
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Re: @ Irongut - £200m to fix potholes

If they built them properly in the first place, I doubt it would happen at all. We had an entire road re-done last year, and low and behold, despite having no snow and no flooding in the area, the bloody thing is full of holes again. The Swedes don't have this trouble, and that's even when Sweden is covered in several feet of snow for 6 months every year (lovely roads, took a driving holiday there a couple of years ago).

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Star Wars movie to start shooting in UK this summer

monkeyfish
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Re: Star Wars: Episode VII

The problem your having is that Star Wars is a fairy tale. Not unlike Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, except that in Star Wars the thing is set in space, see, and the Knights are on spaceships instead of horses. Once you've established that, you can enjoy it for what it is, and stop getting hung up on plot holes and crap.

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NASA: Earth JUST dodged comms-killing SOLAR BLAST in 2012

monkeyfish
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The aurora borealis extended as far south as Cuba

If the aurora borealis was that big, then all comms and electronics failing the world over would be totally worth it.

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Eight hour cleansing to get all the 'faggots' and 'bitches' OUT of Github

monkeyfish
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Re: This

Then you should lay off the bug eggs mate.

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Wackadoo DIYers scissor-kick beatboxer

monkeyfish
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Re: "mobile device" has gained sufficient linguistic weight...

Perhaps you'd prefer the German: Handy.

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Scam emails tell people they have cancer to trick them into installing a money-stealing Trojan

monkeyfish
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Re: Is this a UK thing?

No, they do not email you your test results in the UK. Banks don't ask you to click a link and verify your account details either, but that doesn't stop people falling for it.

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Apple patents the super-soaraway selfie system of the future

monkeyfish
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Re: Please bring the launch date for MarsOne forward.

Mars, wow, imagine the selfie you could take from there!

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Satisfy my scroll: El Reg gets claws on Windows 8.1 spring update

monkeyfish
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Re: As if this will make people happy!

Nice rant.

The issue I've found is that when I've come to try and use it I wasn't the installer or first user, so I was not aware of these methods.

First time use: cousins kid comes around and wants to connect his new laptop to the wifi, ok, where are the wifi settings? Where is the desktop? WTF, how do I even exit the start screen? ESC? No. Windows key? No. Really, how do I get to the desktop? Took all of about 30 minutes to figure out what I was doing, not a good first start.

Second time use: Sister-in-law bought a very nice new laptop with a hi-res screen, only trouble is the text is too small. Eventually I found the settings, but the scalling is crap. Also struggled with the settings being all over the place, not all of them are in the control panel, not all of them are in the 'mordern' interface. PITA. So not a good second impression either.

Guess what? First/second impressions count. Maybe if I used it all the time I would figure out how to use it easily, but why precisely should I bother?

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Space-junk RAYGUN wins Australian government funding

monkeyfish
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Re: I think someone...

Do you use gravitized sunglasses?

Only if I drop them from my desk. It's easy to watch gravity, and feel it. Just hold that big rock a few feet above your foot and then let go of it.

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Blighty teen boffin builds nuclear reactor INSIDE CLASSROOM

monkeyfish
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We do have a few underground nuclear bunkers littered about the place though, will any of those do?

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Roll up, roll up for the Commentards' Ball

monkeyfish
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Re: Boycott

Nah, it was Orlowski. WinPho fanboy that he is.

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Roku flashes $50 HDMI TV web dongle at anyone sick of Google's stick

monkeyfish
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Re: 1$ <> 1£

They charge us more because we're used to paying more and they can get away with it, basically. They also know there is no point us buying stuff from the US as the import charges will be way higher than the $ to £ mark-up. The only way to get stuff cheap fro the US is if your company sends you over for some reason, and you have a free Saturday to go shopping.

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Google! and! Facebook! IDs! face! Yahoo! login! BAN!

monkeyfish
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Probably going to move to G+, even though I've told them to sod off each time they asked to upgrade. Sigh. Once again Google wins by being the least shit option.

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monkeyfish
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Re: Does a little piece of a PR flack die every time they write this rubbish?

You can roll the turd in glitter. Works much better than polishing (or indeed varnishing).

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monkeyfish
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I'd have recommended picasa, but...

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Would you work for BlackBerry boss Chen? He says his biz has 50:50 chance of success

monkeyfish
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Re: Inconceivable!

Well, good luck to him. The enterprise market for phones and tablets is still open for the taking. I'd have thought that winpho would have taken it by now, but no. MS don't seem to care about that right now (maybe they will with Nadella, who knows). Actually, there is still a niche market for highly practical, function before form, privacy centric, consumer phones. Also good to concentrate on the $200 market rather than the $600 one. There's are reasons I don't own an iphone, and it's mostly the price.

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Ever get the impression a telesales op was being held prisoner?

monkeyfish
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Re: But ... but ... but ... jobs

Is it perhaps possible that some of those (especially NHS) jobs require some sort of previous training, as in a 3 year degree? If you did not happen to choose the right subject when you were 16, you don't really get to go back and have another crack at it, do you?

I think the main issue is that since there are so many unemployed degree level types around, lots of job that in no way require one in reality, do require one on paper. Even my job, an electronic engineer, would be better served with on the job training and day release for the theory. Better than a nice shiny piece of paper that in no way tells you if I can do the job. Plenty of technicians I work with would make excellent engineers, but they can't go up a peg until they spend 3 years unpaid, or 5 years part-time. Not many can afford to do that. People from a previous generation have no degree, and yet are 10 times better than me at engineering (my boss, for example). Vocational jobs should have vocational training, basically.

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monkeyfish
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Maybe it's to break them fully before re-programming? You've got to break a few eggs to make an omelet, or something?

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German freemail firms defend AdBlock-nobbling campaign

monkeyfish
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Re: Because we all need more of this:

Loose browser fat with this one weird old trick! Doctors are angry*.

* Presumably because they're stuck on IE6?

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monkeyfish
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Re: Pah!

It's not like they even do a good job of serving relevant ads. I've said it before and I'll say it again, don't base the ad on what I've looked at in the past using my data, base the ad on what I'm looking at now using the websites data! If I'm looking at a particular camera or phone, serve me an ad for that camera or phone, see? Then I might click on it. Serve me some creepy ad based on what I looked last week and a) I'll want to block it for being creepy, and b) I looked at it last week, either I decided I didn't want it, or I bought it already from somewhere else.

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monkeyfish
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Re: /sigh

I tend to just run flash-block rather than ad block (or if using chrome/opera set flash to 'ask me' in the settings). That gets rid of the most annoying and slow to load ads, while leaving static pictures and text in place.

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Japanese boffins build 'earring PC' for hands-free computing

monkeyfish
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Re: Future tech for tech's sake...

If it buzzes where the sun doesn't shine every time you get an email, I can see a large uptick in willing spam signups.

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monkeyfish
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On the other hand, it will give the raving loonies a well deserved break. People will just assume they have the latest tech implant and move on.

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Google Glass: Reg man tests tech specs

monkeyfish
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So what exactly is a casio calculator watch, or even a modern smart watch? Pretty dorkable I'd say.

Actually I'm quickly coming to like term. It almost makes me want a Glass so I can refer to it as such.

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Steve Jobs statue: Ones and ohs and OH NOES – it's POINTING at us

monkeyfish
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Seems like I'm alone here

I actually quite like it. But then I generally enjoy a bit of modern art, and sculptures, so maybe it's just me...

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Microsoft's Office 2013 Service Pack 1 slips out with fixes, features

monkeyfish
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Re: the service pack isnt dead

You can purchase the service pack for a modest fee, and a slight change in the UI that may or may not enjoy.

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HTC One grabs BEST SMARTPHONE gong

monkeyfish
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Re: More metal kit that blocks and thus drops more calls.

Same on the HTC one V. Looks fantastic, especially for a mid range droid. But if you pick it up and hold it normally (i.e. with your hand at the bottom) the call ends as you cover the one bit of plastic that lets the signal through. Shame really, I like metal cases, and bought it partly because of that. But my old Nokia 6300 didn't have this problem, as Nokia cleverly put the bit of plastic at the top, where you don't tend to hold it.

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Ford to dump Microsoft's 'aggravating' in-car tech for ... BlackBerry?

monkeyfish
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Re: QNX is Blackberry by name only

That's why they're probably better off developing some sort of dock or holder for your already existing phone. Then connect with usb/lighting/whatever and just develop an app that interfaces nicely with the stereo/odometer/etc. That way, the app will get the updates and your car doesn't need them.

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Microsoft shunts top exec Julie Larson-Green sideways to make way for Stephen Elop

monkeyfish
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Re: In charge of design of Windows 7 and 8?!

Maybe a chair inscribed with 'apps are important' on it flew in her general direction?

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