* Posts by Omgwtfbbqtime

457 posts • joined 30 Mar 2012

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When customers try to be programmers: 'I want this CHANGED TO A ZERO ASAP'

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Trollface

Re: Three glasses of whisky

Email your reasoning to yourself. Then you can pick it up in the morning.

Or have 3 glasses of whisky and email it to your boss and HR for added amusement.

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Land Rover Defender dies: Production finally halted by EU rules

Omgwtfbbqtime
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"if its crash-survivable its not a Landie"

The Landie will survive a crash quite nicely - in a way similar to an Israeli tank.

Just hose it out and the next driver is good to go.

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Afraid of getting your iThing pwned? Get yourself iOS 9.2.1

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Mobileiron?

Anyone know if this fixes the issue with managed apps in Mobileiron that was introduced in 9.2?

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Boozing is unsafe at ‘any level’, thunders chief UK.gov quack

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Thumb Up

@a cynic writes

The Percy Arms in Newcastle used to sell that under the name "Duckhams Hypergrade"

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Review: Star Wars: The Force Awakens offers a new hope for the franchise

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Shove 1kg into E=mc^2 and marvel at how much energy you would need

Ummm no.

That would be the amount of energy released in a total conversion of mass to energy.

The bolts travel fairly slowly (compared with light speed) but still probably comparable with firearms say 1km/sec.

Kinetic energy is 1/2 mv^2 so 1Kg at 1,000 ms^-1 is half a million Joules.

or about 120000 calories in old money - probably Jabba's daily intake.

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Smut-seeding Prenda Law ringleader must sell home to pay $2.5m debt

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Go

Hmmm...

I believe kidneys are an asset, with a real sale value. I recommend the court forces sale of these.

As are lungs, liver, heart....

Sorry, forgot it was a lawyer, so no heart.

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Who owns space? Looking at the US asteroid-mining act

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Trollface

Re: Unleash The Greenfly!

As I have said before:

Earth First!

We can strip mine the other planets later!

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Court: Swedish ISPs can't be forced to block Sweden's Pirate Bay

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Facepalm

Re: 6 Links in the article

If you are unable to find a link to TPB on your own that bypasses any game of wackamole, then maybe El Reg is not the news organ for you. May I suggest the Daily Fail?

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Where's Worstall/Weekend Edition?

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Pint

Re: @ Gordon 10

He also writes for Forbes on occasion...

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TalkTalk hired BAE Systems' infosec bods before THAT hack

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Re: Called it.

thanks

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Omgwtfbbqtime
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Holmes

Called it.

Here

and here

No hard links to comments anymore? Or am I just blind?

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Virgin Media hikes broadband, phone prices by five per cent

Omgwtfbbqtime
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"Isn't this Bait and Switch?"

It would be if they hadn't offered to let customers leave early because of the price rise.

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TalkTalk boss: 'Customers think we're doing right thing after attack'

Omgwtfbbqtime
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FAIL

Have TalkTalk explained

Why they had rolled out encryption in 2015 per annual report - signed by Dodo no less, yet she seems unaware of this and the why it did nothing?

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GCHQ director blasts free market, says UK must be 'sovereign cryptographic nation'

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Facepalm

Re: The full list from the Draft IPB

Surprised the Borders Agency didn't make the cut.

The MOD Plod relevant?????? They've never been relevant.

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Reg mashup rates CompSci unis for books, booze and boogie

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Coat

Manchester and shooting up

Must resist drug joke....

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Let's get to the bottom of in-app purchases that go titsup

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Devil

Re: Lawn: Get off it now!

Meh, windows 95 installs were easy ... as long as you remembered to shed blood inside the case before you closed it.

Blood sacrifice - never fails.

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Activision to buy Candy Crush developer King

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Alert

Re: Bye bye Activision

What do you mean "going"?

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Hacked TalkTalk CEO: Dead as a Dido? Nope, she refuses to quit

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Holmes

Full support of the board

I give her three working days.

Only reason she has full support of the board is none of them want to be the public face of clearing up this mess.

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UK ministers, not judges, to sign off on Brit spies' surveillance

Omgwtfbbqtime
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"anything that they can say to make us feel safer..."

WRONG!

It's more anything they can to make is feel more afraid of terrorism/paedos etc so we call for them to take away what is left of our freedom.

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Ex-Microsoft craft ale buffs rattle tankard for desktop brewery

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Pint

Re: Doesn't look that hassle free

I'm not known for my green credentials (snort) but I have had good results bottle conditioning in polycarbonate soft drink bottles. They can take up to 100psi ISTR.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Reanimate.

Better to reuse than recycle, and as turbo cider can get to 12% with a wine yeast you reduce your consumption!

Plus the hangover can be a little like the living dead so the reanimate is covered too!

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Omgwtfbbqtime
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Unhappy

"Real Ale, by contrast, does have a definition."

So does Turbo Cider.

As a Coeliac I miss real beer

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TalkTalk plays 'no legal obligation' card on encryption – fails to think of the children (read: its customers)

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Re: Are TalkTalk auditted?

From the 2015 annual report ( http://www.talktalkgroup.com/investors/reports/2015.aspx) :

4. Data and cybersecurity

Potential impact: Failure to prevent the loss or exploitation of personally identifiable or

commercially sensitive information could result in loss of competitive advantage,

regulatory fines, damage to the brand,and ultimately, churn.

Mitigation: The Group continually reviews and seeks best practice external guidance on its data and cyber security capability and invests in and implements new solutions, both to prevent and detect incidents. TalkTalk continues to adopt the Ten Steps to Cyber Security as a control

framework for mitigating key areas of risk. Progress is monitored via the in house Data Council, which convenes monthly and is chaired by the Chief Technology Officer (CTO). In FY15, key initiatives including the encryption of hardware and removable media , a data loss prevention solution, vulnerability scanning and penetration testing have been completed. A new Head of Security has also been appointed to establish and oversee the new Security Operations Centre, the activities of which have been outsourced to cyber security experts BAe systems.

So either they lied in their annual report or the head of security/BAe needs a kick up the arse.

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Qualcomm proposes brain implants for IP cameras

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Gimp

Hackkkkker?

Excellent system shock reference!

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Bacon can kill: Official

Omgwtfbbqtime
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"American cheese" (that bright yellow goo)

Sounds suspiciously like Cheese: possessed as used to featured in British Army ratpacks.

If you were lucky you got one marked Cheese removed.

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TalkTalk attack: 'No legal obligation to encrypt customer bank details', says chief

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Re: Ker-ching!

Nope always called them Bribes and Expenses

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Omgwtfbbqtime
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Holmes

"Fortunately there is no obligation to use Talk Talk."

SWMBO and I are moving house soon - to an area not serviced by Vm. (Had very few problems with Vm over the last 10 years - YMMV).

We are actively considering (trying to work out who will shaft us least) between the major TV/BB/phone suppliers left.

TalkTalk are now definitely off the list.

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Elderly? Disabled? You clearly need a .38" Palm Pistol

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Headmaster

Re: Metrication

7.62x51 Nato "less massive" than 9x19P?

Clue: 51mm long....

9mm weighs in around 120 grains, 7.62 Nato around 240 grains.

Back to school please.

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If MR ROBOT was realistic, he’d be in an Iron Maiden t-shirt and SMELL of WEE

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Pint

yet entirely unfamiliar with the concept of a hose?

That's a bit lo-tech.

The truly l337 go with a catheter running straight to the bath drain.

Icon: its not for sale - jut for rent.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Nobody move! I've finally got a stable 4G connection!

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Weight, what? The perfect kilogram is nearly in Planck's grasp

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Re: "...unless someone invents an Heisenberg Compensator."

Are you certain you wouldn't like to put some spin on it?

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Omgwtfbbqtime
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Re: "...unless someone invents an Heisenberg Compensator."

I'm uncertain whether that is possible.

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Shocker: Net anarchist builds sneaky 220v USB stick that fries laptops

Omgwtfbbqtime
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ICE ICE baby

Wonder what the impact is of this plugging it in to a car media centre?

Is the car bricked, or just the ICE (In Car Entertainment) unit?

What happens if it is plugged in when the car is moving at 70 mph?

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Top boffin Freeman Dyson on climate change, interstellar travel, fusion, and more

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Re: "I have no idea how you induce a meter of snowfall over a whole continent"

I would imagine the same way as you would seed a cloud for any other form of precipitation - just on a larger scale.

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Terror in the Chernobyl dead zone: Life - of a wild kind - burgeons

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Coat

Re: Now can we remove an entire useless third of our population?

I'm willing to go by the throwing a die. roll a 1 or a 2 and you're fertilizer.

Not that this would be breeding humanity for luck...

Thats mine with a copy of Ringworld in the pocket.

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Omgwtfbbqtime
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Boffin

Hmmm

This kind of implies that the only thing that negatively impacts wildlife is the presence of humans.

Not even the acts of humans - just the presence.

Act of humans - poison Chernobyl - long term effect negligible.

Remove humans from Chernobyl - long term uptick in wildlife.

Now can we remove an entire useless third of our population?

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NASA reveals secret 1970s SPACE PANTS

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Re: Laboratory Coat

The order of the coloured pens is detailed in a separate manual - denoting the grade of the wearer.

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VW’s case of NOxious emissions: a tale of SMOKE and MIRRORS?

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Holmes

Re: Only VW?

I believe PSA use ECUs built by that implied manufacturer of green garden tools who allegedly spied on Dyson?

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11 MILLION VW cars used Dieselgate cheatware – what the clutch, Volkswagen?

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Flame

Re: Confused…

I thought a smoke test was "Plug it in, see if it catches fire."

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Omgwtfbbqtime
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Re: steering-column not being moved

Then how would it tell it wasn't on an American road?

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Omgwtfbbqtime
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Gimp

Re: So beating dead ones is still OK? Good, otherwise I'm out of a job

Of course we need to cater for those members of society who's lifestyle embraces Sado-Masochism, bestiality and necrophilia.

Well done Sir, for going public with your life choices!

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Paris Hilton

and the Academy Award for special effects goes to the new female stormtrooper armour. errr I mean episode 7...

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SOHO solar scope spies 3000th 'sungrazer' comet

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Childcatcher

Stop thinking of the children you sick person!

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Jeep Cherokee 2.2: Capable, comfortable ... but just not very Jeep

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Trollface

The real question here is

How fast does it go in reverse?

After all it is Italian.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Omgwtfbbqtime
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It was simple to tell the cooling fan had gone titsup.

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You tried to hide your extramarital affair … by putting it on the web?

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Pint

Re: More drivel @earl grey

Ah the soulful stylings of Ms Bee.

Have a pint sir!

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Another chance to win a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Suddenly the warnings about shoulder-surfing had meaning.

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Omgwtfbbqtime
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Have you accepted SpiderJesus into your life?

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Google robo-car suffers brain freeze after seeing hipster cyclist

Omgwtfbbqtime
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"incompetence is not a problem that banning cleats could solve"

No, but enforcement of the Highway Code would.

As would plates, insurance, testing etc.

Prove you're not an incompetent lunatic all the time - just like drivers and motorcyclists have to before they get out on the road unsupervised.

The sooner they ban headphones on the road the better, nothing worse than the cyclist wobbling side to side infront of you completely unaware of everything except the ipod blaring in their ears.

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Omgwtfbbqtime
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Gimp

Re: I've even been known to take the bust to work sometimes...

Ooooh!

Where can I get I bust I can travel to work in?

Do I sit in the cleavage?

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Prof Hawking cracks riddle of black holes – which may be portals to other universes

Omgwtfbbqtime
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Mushroom

Re: deterministic qubit gates

As long as it does not violate causality by producing the output before the input.....

With thanks to Charles Stross.

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