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* Posts by Omgwtfbbqtime

207 posts • joined 30 Mar 2012

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Hello, police, El Reg here. Are we a bunch of terrorists now?

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: Religion is like a penis @Moultoneer

That appears more cosmology, unsuported by observation I may add, than religion and not relevant to this discussion.

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Omgwtfbbqtime

Religion is like a penis

Its fine to have one.

Its ok to be proud of it.

Just don't whip it out in public and wave it in other peoples faces!!

(Disclosure: I consider myself a Militant Agnostic - I don't know and NOR THE FUCK DO YOU!)

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Scotland's BIG question: Will independence cost me my broadband?

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: It's Troll time!

Unlikely to move its employees out of Scotland?

Yep much easier to sack them and get fresh ones.

Denies plans for London HQ move?

Yep much cheaper in teh Norf.

Just reading between the lines........

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Omgwtfbbqtime
Go

It's Troll time!

As an Englishman I am fully in favour of Scotland voting yes.

Why you say?

1 - Standard Life and most of the other big pension firms will move south of the border, probably to somewhere cheap with lots of drones to hire - say the North East. (making Newcastle the financial capital of the world! Muhahaha...).

2- The Basques kicking off will distract the Spanish from whingeing about Gibraltar for a few years.

Icon for what Scotland should do.....

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Badges for Commentards

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: Where's my vulture?

Same here, mines gone AWOL (argh! worn out liver? XD)

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'The writing is TOO SMALL': MPs row over Parliamentary move to Office 365

Omgwtfbbqtime

"What's going on in recruitment here?"

Maybe women just aren't willing to put up with the shit involved with the job?

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The final score: Gramophones 1 – Glassholes 0

Omgwtfbbqtime
Mushroom

Re: title is too long

I managed to get it to do what I want.

Uninstalled the fucker.

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Like frozen burgers, 'Bigfoot' DNA samples have a touch of horse

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: "Looks like an ostrich, kicks like a roo."

But what does it taste like?

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Virgin Media struck dumb by NATIONWIDE DNS outage

Omgwtfbbqtime

That would be why I never noticed any DNS problems then.

Definite fail by VM for locking the Superhub DNS away from the users.

I have heard that the reason is so that they don't have to support any user change to the DNS but since the third thing* they ask you to do is factory reset the router I don't see the point.

* First thing - reboot your computer, second thing reboot the router.

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Creepy battery-operated TEDDY BEAR SEX TOY. Sadly, this is for real

Omgwtfbbqtime
Go

Re: How bizarre

Diversifying?

or have you found a new market for Scandium?

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TIME TRAVEL TEST finds black holes needed to make photons flit

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: When do you create a Closed Timelike Curve?

Thats the third law:

You will not violate causality, OR ELSE.

With thanks to Charles Stross.

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Brits to vote: Which pressing scientific challenge should get £10m thrown at it?

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: "Regular brits"

I think your toilet habits are your own business.

Me? I'm fairly irregular.*

*Yes, I know you did not ask, but I like oversharing.

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Tooled-up Ryobi girl takes nine-inch grinder to Asus beach babe

Omgwtfbbqtime
Trollface

Good safety boots?

God no... blunt too many blades.

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Organic food: Pricey, not particularly healthy, won't save you from cancer

Omgwtfbbqtime
Thumb Down

Re: Agenda here?

Invite a vegetarian to dinner and they expect you to cater to their dietary choice....

Get invited to dinner by a vegetarian and what are the chances they will take your meat eating into account and cook accordingly? Yup square root of fuck all.

(disclaimer I am an omnivore with carnivourous tendencies and a Coeliac - went to a vegetarian wedding and the food was all pretty much high wheat/gluten - their response? Well theres salad you can eat. - Things you put up with for family.)

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Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: Using basic building blocks you could create anything...

Just a pity the Millenium Falcon kit really is pants compared to the display one at Legoland (19,800 pieces ffs!).

However given the Death Star is a little over 3,000 pieces for £300, its probably just as well it's not available as a shipping crate.

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Booze and bacon sarnies: A recipe for immortality?

Omgwtfbbqtime
Go

Processed meat is that which can flow out of a faucet

How do I get Northumbrian Water to pipe bacon into my house?

<hot><cold><Bacon!>

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Tab for Xmas, Mr Consumer? Yes please. And Mr Busin... NOPE

Omgwtfbbqtime
Holmes

Why does the secretarial pool, or accounts need a bunch of i7's?

Operating system bloat.

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Cable thieves hang up on BT, cause MAJOR outage

Omgwtfbbqtime
Thumb Up

negligence?

Given that 2 survived I'd say the hospital was negligent too.

Wait... what?

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'Please don't make me spend more time with my family...'

Omgwtfbbqtime
Facepalm

Biggest problem with financial statements?

It's that most of them were put together by numberblind monkeys.

This is the reason the big 4 have departments that specialise in correcting the accounts before they get signed.

If they do manage to add up? They can't spell (nor can I after half a brick of cider... ) a certain large former building society used to spell mortgage without a t....

For those who have never had the joy of reading a glossy annual report here is a brief run down...

<cynic> Chairmans statement: utter fiction about how good the company is.

Financial review - repeats the back half in words of one syllable for the analysts

Directors report- doesnt tell you anything you need to know - but keeps companies house happy.

Strategic report - This in theory gives you an idea of how the company is doing, however it usually contradicts itself.

The financial statements - tells you how the company did and how likely it will still be in business next year. Pity the numbers wont agree between the notes and the primary statements.

</cynic>

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Japanese quantum boffins 'may have the key to TELEPORTATION'

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: It was a triumph....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portal_(video_game)

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Omgwtfbbqtime
Pint

It was a triumph....

Anyone else notice that they used orange and blue for the opposite sides of the porta.... I mean message?

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BOFH: It's DANGEROUS to go alone. Take THIS

Omgwtfbbqtime
Flame

@ Sarah Balfour

Cold Turkey with a change of routine.

Go on holiday without the gum.

Disclaimer - this worked for me 8 years ago - went from 20-40 a day (depending on whether I was drinking that day) to nil. Stopped the cigs the day before we flew, the first day was tough, second day, stuck in a no smoking airport, not so bad.

Not having any of the usual day time triggers for a smoke helped a lot.

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Ahhh, SATISFACTION: Watch while we set a NAS on FIRE

Omgwtfbbqtime
Mushroom

Channelling Mythbusters

Now - kill it with fire - I mean really kill it.

1Kg of termite in a couple of plant pots.

that would be probably the worst case without access to fissionables.

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HGST hoiks out Death Valley-proof hi-cap HDD

Omgwtfbbqtime
Coat

Re: Racetrack Playa

That's what she said

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Rare gold iPhone 5s goes up against 50 caliber high precision rifle

Omgwtfbbqtime
Boffin

Hmmm

Wonder if i could cash in... I mean get similar video views with putting a bodkin tipped arrow through a phone.......

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Oracle sued over $33,000 bill for SaaS: STRIPPERS as a SERVICE

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: Guy that owns most of Soho

Thought it would have been Gerald Grosvenor,

live and learn

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Apple blings up new iMac with latest Intel chips, next-gen Wi-Fi

Omgwtfbbqtime
Trollface

Re: Next gen WiFi???

I prefer the name "MacinToy"

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RADIATION SNATCHED from leaky microwave ovens to power gadgets

Omgwtfbbqtime
Coffee/keyboard

Rectenna?

The mind boggles at the images.

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Cisco email accidentally sent to 1000s of employees causes message list MAYHEM

Omgwtfbbqtime
Facepalm

Re: size

Would surprise me if each line started:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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Smartwatch news: Sleek-but-vaporous timepiece promised by... NISSAN?

Omgwtfbbqtime
Coffee/keyboard

Re:looks a bit sci-fi WAS:To be fair

I thought Blake's 7 teleport bracelet. just needs a big pink rubber oblong.

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Smartwatch craze is all just ONE OFF THE WRIST

Omgwtfbbqtime
Happy

I remember watches

Pretty much stopped wearing a watch with the advent of the mobile phone - after all even the most basic 90's phone had a clock on the display. Failing that there was always the windows clock or even, dare i say it echo %time%.

One benefit is the hair on my wrist regrew.

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LOHAN cops a faceful of smutronyms

Omgwtfbbqtime
Pint

Re: Honored

It does bring a swelling of pride doesn't it?

Well, the swelling of something anyway.

Trebles all round!

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WIN a RockBLOCK Iridium satellite comms module

Omgwtfbbqtime

DRUGS

Destructive

Release

Under

Guidance

Safely

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Omgwtfbbqtime

HOOKER

Heuristically

Operated

Orbital

Kill

Endangering

Rockblock

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Omgwtfbbqtime

RABID

Red

Alert!

Bring

It

Down!

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Behind the candelabra: Power cut sends Britain’s boxes back to the '70s

Omgwtfbbqtime
Alert

Re: Did you check the system clocks on the computers etc?

If the motherboard battery goes out I'd be surprised if it would boot up without having to fumble with the BIOS settings.

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UK gov dials 999 over Serco prison escort fraud claims

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: They'll Get Away With It

Geo Amey or Group4 - at least until they get caught too.

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Oh noes! New 'CRISIS DISASTER' at Fukushima! Oh wait, it's nothing. Again

Omgwtfbbqtime
FAIL

"vast amounts of toxic waste that must be handled"

meh

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Omgwtfbbqtime
FAIL

@Drew 11

You mean this type of insurance?

Please do your homework before posting complete bollocks.

Or better yet, don't post where you haven't a clue.

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Omgwtfbbqtime
Trollface

Re: RE: Did any of you lot actually read the article

Almost right.

There 's nothing I would describe as human in Cornwall.

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Omgwtfbbqtime
Stop

Re: "Slightly raise their risk of developing cancer."

More obligatory xkcd

Slight increase

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Cool cars, cat-crushing chronometers, cashmere ... is this your IT boss?

Omgwtfbbqtime
Trollface

Re: Off the shelf suits?

But prison orange really does not suit you.

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Android approaches 80% smartphone share as Apple's iPhone grows old

Omgwtfbbqtime
Devil

Re: Instead

Not quite - from a devs viewpoint - "Which one are you going to write for?" 80% of the market or something smaller?

Nothing against apple, I have an aging ipod touch that's still in use, but I far prefer my Samsung 'droid.

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Super-SVELTE BLUSH-PINK planet goes too far with star

Omgwtfbbqtime
Boffin

At last, real scientific method!

"Its discovery implies that we need to seriously consider alternative formation theories, or perhaps to reassess some of the basic assumptions in the core-accretion theory."

Climate scientists take note, this is how you do science!

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Banknote campaigner's Twitter rape threats ordeal: Bloke, 21, cuffed

Omgwtfbbqtime
Thumb Up

Re: Get rid of images of people

Turing? ok but I would prefer Eddington first. Another with alternative lifestyle choices.

I believe the rules are similar to stamps - nobody who is alive except for Her Maj.

Though I would say that Maggie is not a good choice for a maybe another 50 years - by the same token bLiar and Broon should never be depicted.

Famous women? Nightingale and Fry have been done....

Ada Lovelace.

EOM

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Confidential Microsoft brief: 'We're TOAST if we fight Google on price'

Omgwtfbbqtime
Facepalm

Guess they'll have to compete on security or quality....

...oh dear....

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US public hate Snowden - but sexpot spy Anna Chapman LOVES him

Omgwtfbbqtime
Paris Hilton

Re: Anna Chapman

If I had to give her a mark..

hmm...

well I'd give her one.

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Tickle my balls, stroke my button and blow the fluff from my crack

Omgwtfbbqtime
Happy

It's hard to find a decent 5 button mouse that isn't right hand specific (or costs a fortune from Razer).

For years I used a Microsoft Intellimouse Explorer 5 button jobbie till the cable started to short out through wear, and I was most dischuffed to find they had been discontinued a while ago.

At 12 years of use that mouse was the longest serving piece of kit I've had, it's now been replaced with a £1.99 shenzen special from ebay- the only requirements were non-right handed shape and 5 buttons.

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Hitch climate tax to the ACTUAL CLIMATE, says top economist

Omgwtfbbqtime
Mushroom

The usual suspects appear to be on holiday

Anyone else notice that most of El Reg's resident watermelons have not had anything to say on this?

Well I hope you all feel better when the apoplectic rage at the thought that green taxes might actually have to follow "real" climate change rather than the usual chicken little demands of the terminally stupid, I mean fanatically green.

That is if they haven't all had cardiac episodes on reading the article....

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Fitbit Flex wristband: What to wear out when wearing yourself out

Omgwtfbbqtime
Holmes

Re: Why?

I lost 1.5 stone ditching my gluten free prescription and replacing the carbs with meat and veg - lots of meat and lots of veg.

You pays your money and you takes your chances.

Only another 2 stone to go now.

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