* Posts by Semtex451

337 posts • joined 21 Mar 2012

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Tobacco giant predicts the end of smoking. Panic ensues

Semtex451
Coat

Re: Vaping isn't cool

I suppose you think Jeans that don't cover your ass isn't a cool look either?

Mines the tracksuit top at the back

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Fleeing Aussie burglar shot in arse with bow and arrow

Semtex451

Shurly the "injured party" is the person who was burgled

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World-leading heart hospital 'very, very lucky' to dodge ransomware hit

Semtex451
Coat

Re: This wouldn't happen if they were running Windows.

Yea, you've got Donald Trump & Hilary Clinton as Presidential candidates, if that ain't sarcasm I don't know what is.

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Astronauts on long-haul space flights risk getting 'space brains'

Semtex451

Thank you for putting me in mind of a FSMmas carol. I can't wait till FSMmas which is on Friday, and every Friday.

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Boy, 12, gets €100k bill from Google after confusing Adwords with Adsense

Semtex451
Joke

Re: Sorry, this stinks to high heaven

Yea coz Jeremy Corbyn has his head screwed on.

But I agree with the title you went with.

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Semtex451

Re: I'm confused as to how someone can be that confused

@ depicus - Hang on, only a "few", the FSM has truly blessed you

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Semtex451

Also since when was Google counted amonst "reputable sources"

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Semtex451
Headmaster

Re: Twelve =/= teen

@GKraut - Re: "realizes..." - Please upgrade to the UK Dictionary.

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MoD contractor hacked, 831 members of defence community exposed

Semtex451
Pint

Whoever came up with the idea to use that Dads Army pic - is a genius.

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Irish researchers sweep smartphones clear of super bugs

Semtex451
Windows

"After initially developing the material for ceramics, they’ve now cracked the issue of applying it to glass"

I thought glass was a ceramic - Pedants please re educate me.

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Flying Spaghetti Monster is not God, rules mortal judge

Semtex451

Re: But

I now use a paper doily as an analogue for a collander. Got fed up carrying the real thing around.

BTW I've copyrighted the idea, and can send you one out if you provide an SSAE

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Semtex451

Re: Indeed!

Speaking of Muad'Dib, reminds me that the spice used in your recipe is added to your taste.

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Semtex451
Pint

Happen to be eating a Quorn mince Spag Bol. Was all they had left in the canteen.

See I converted to Pastafarianism yonks ago, and have no plans to launch a Quorn sect, yet.

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Semtex451
Trollface

Re: Theological Canons

@ Uncle - I see Wiki is your Bible, Tut

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Field technicians want to grab my tool and probe my things

Semtex451
Windows

Re: Only four years?!

I'll second that

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Bill Gates denies iPhone crack demand would set precedent

Semtex451
Gimp

Re: Windows 10

@AC

Could you give us links to sources please? I, for one, am too time poor/posh/lazy to search myself

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Ukraine has a Eurovision pop at Russia

Semtex451

Re: As Clausewitz didn't say

Which finally explains why I feel shell-shocked any time I'm put through it.

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Firemen free chap's todger from four-ring chokehold

Semtex451

Read that on a crowded platform and loudly screamed like a girl

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Bats and badgers hold up Apple’s Irish data centre plans

Semtex451

Re: But what would a platoon of beardy hipster types do...

Hopefully contract TB

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2015's horror PC market dropped nine per cent

Semtex451
Joke

Re: Wearing mine as I write.

BTW I'm IoT ready, emphasis on the T.

Now ssshhh I'm pretending to be asleep

;-)

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Semtex451
Gimp

Re: Wearing mine as I write.

Sorry but who wants to be tied to a desk any more? Anyone?

BYOD is fine in my environment, its secure and I have hexadecimal safe words, I mean passwords.

Well my night shift is over so I'm off to bed with my Samsung strap-on.

I'll be thinking of you, but I do miss my sister.

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Semtex451
Gimp

Wearing mine as I write.

I hate to repeat myself but, I received a Samsung strap-on for Xmas.

My sister gave it to me. I'm not proud but I'm still enjoying it.

Off and on.

I'm wearing it proudly right now, seems to be the only way, mind you.

I'm tempted to give it to someone else, just to spread the love.

No one wants to be desk-bound these days, its all strap-ons and hand jobs, sigh.

What's the world coming to? - Won't anyone think of the children?

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Samsung turns to smart home, wearables chips as mobile declines

Semtex451
Coat

Re: At CES, Samsung showed off some of the innovations

But they're right about the death of the smart mobe, I received a Samsung strap-on for Xmas.

My sister gave it to me. I'm not proud but I'm still enjoying it.

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Boozing is unsafe at ‘any level’, thunders chief UK.gov quack

Semtex451
Coat

My pee is that colour, is this a bad sign?

I'll get my coat and head to my GP then.

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Exploit kits throw Flash bash party, invite Crypt0l0cker, spam bots

Semtex451
Coat

Hang on someone recently told me that flash was dead.

Oh wait, it was my Mum, talking about someone called Flash Harry.

Now I'm thinking of legs.... can we have more of Dabbsy's Videos before the thought Police arrive?

I have my coat but where's me jumper?

Anyone, where's me jumper?

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Semtex451
Coat

Good thing there's no Flash at El Reg, apart from Dabbs in a trenchcoat

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Lovelace at 200: Celebrating the High Priestess to Babbage's machines

Semtex451
Coat

Re: Sexist shite

If only there was a Lovelace out there for each of us.

We'd have to invent the "Poke Engine" to get any green beer time.

Whaddya mean its already invented?

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Good news! US broadband speeds are up. Bad news – they're still rubbish

Semtex451
Coat

Re: @ Tony S

@Jake - So you're clearly still satisfied with ASCII pron.

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Flare-well, 2015 – solar storm to light up skies on New Year's Eve

Semtex451
Thumb Up

Re: Never mind the US

@Mellipop: And leave out the lager and drink real ale. HNY all.

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Getting metal hunks into orbit used to cost a bomb. Then SpaceX's Falcon 9 landed

Semtex451
Gimp

"there is a room-sized vibrator" - come off it mate

...was what I should have said

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Semtex451
Gimp

"there is a room-sized vibrator" - pull the other one mate

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UK research network Janet under ongoing and persistent DDoS attack

Semtex451

Re: Local Government also

.... and some NHS Trusts* use JANET too. Grrr

*NB for mercans read "Hospitals"

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Semtex451
Mushroom

Is Alex working on an update to this story?

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Faux Disk Encryption: Mobile phone crypto not a magic bullet

Semtex451
Gimp

Is no one starting the...

usual Android vs iOS bun fight?

Is everyone still loitering in Amsterdam after last weeks conference...

....for the same reason as me?

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Next-gen killer hurricane hunter to be armed with Nvidia graphics chips

Semtex451
Coat

AMD could have done with the money.....

(Or has their graphics unit been freed from it's sadly ailing parent?)

anyway its not like the NOAA to go Team Green, cough.

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Ex-Microsoft craft ale buffs rattle tankard for desktop brewery

Semtex451
Coat

Re: If you buy one, you deserve to drink the stuff

Ok I'll take 6

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Semtex451
Pint

I'll take 12, where do I sign?

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The iPhone 6 doused in bromine - an incendiary mix or not?

Semtex451
Coat

Telegraph Journos

are these days similarly lightweight and malleable. Perhaps the experiment could be repeated on them with something stronger. Gin, I believe, they are only mildly reactive to.

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Bird flies nest: Symantec UK, Ireland and Nordics boss moves on

Semtex451
Coat

Possibly the years free support of their Antivirus product expired on his laptop, it has the same effect on most people after all.

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Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Semtex451

Home X-Ray Kits recalled as evidence emerges of torso shrinkage, embiggened butts

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Semtex451

When your Webcam is pwnd - assert your authority

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Oh, OK then: Ireland will probe Max Schrems' Facebook complaints

Semtex451
Coat

Photo

The Google employee in the background pretty much sums up their attitude!

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SUPER-JAMMY Philae comet probe got down WITHOUT harpoons

Semtex451

Must've been the FSM guiding it to safety with its noodley appendages

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'Yes, yes... YES!' Philae lands on COMET 67P

Semtex451

Re: pics

Yay.

Hope its suitably high res and not just grey and amorphous. A great pic may not be most valuable scientifically but it'll be more great press for the fields of Engineering and Astronomy.

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REVEALED: Apple fanbois are 'MENTALLY UNSTABLE' - iShop staff

Semtex451

Out of idle curiosity

Are these US iSlaves or a mix, or what?

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7 questions we're dying to ask the internet's MOST EXCITING BLOKE

Semtex451

4. "greater sexual equality" Is this the same as gender equality, or is it who's on top?

Also 11pm UK, - finally an end to my insomnia

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iBail: American Psycho actor Christian Bale rejects Steve Jobs role

Semtex451
Headmaster

Re: Jobs is not God, Apple is not heaven.

"not in my personal book of a role-figures"

Neither is your English teacher, it seems

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Nexus 9: Google and HTC deliver Android 5.0 'Lollipop' at iPad prices

Semtex451

Re: iPad vs !pads...can Nexus compete using specs and features?

@saif

I agree, and if folks own an iPhone, they're already on apple heroine with their investment in iTunes & apps.

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WHITE HOUSE network DOWN: Nation-sponsored attack likely

Semtex451
Coat

I suppose we'd never hear about it if Putin's pronhub went down. Might explain is perpetual bad mood.

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Apple spent just ONE DOLLAR beefing up the latest iPad Air 2

Semtex451

Jasp, mate, we all know there are many valid gripes about the Fruity Firm, but this constant 'creative jibing' just devalues our rational arguments.

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