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* Posts by Semtex451

210 posts • joined 21 Mar 2012

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Huawei: There'll be BLOOD spilled in the smartphone sector soon

Semtex451
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Re: If Huawei are the future....

From memory the P7 reviewed well.

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Oi, Tim Cook. Apple Watch. I DARE you to tell me, IN PERSON, that it's secure

Semtex451
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Remember when that new Apple PR lady didn't get the memo and actually spoke to El Reg?

That was funny.

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Drones CAN'T deliver goods ... oh. Air traffic control system backed by NASA, you say?

Semtex451
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Unhappy

Re: More Worrying

....is the introduction of this notion that El Reg is fallible after all.

What's next? Climate Scientists are OK? Stephen Fry isn't that bad?

Apple is cool?

This could undermine my entire value system

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Europe prepares to INVADE comet: Rosetta landing site chosen

Semtex451
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Joke

Yea I always aim for the G spot and it never works, so I'm glad they chose J.

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Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM

Semtex451
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Yea but can it run Crysis?

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Slap my Imp up: Bullfrog's Dungeon Keeper

Semtex451
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I might still have the cd, and Mrs Semtex is at work tomorrow.......

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Speaking in Tech: On iPhone 6 - 'If you make big-*ss phones, you'd better make 'em usable'

Semtex451
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There I was, searching for the Asterisk

Since when was "big-ass phone" too rude to spell out?

It'll be in the 2015 OED and you know it.

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BBC Trust candidate defends licence fee, says evaders are CRIMINALS

Semtex451
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Really good science programmes? My shiney metal ass, name them, name one?

Now, if only there was an El Reg channel, called Vulture Central

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Even better than the iThing: Apple's Cook is strictly pro Bono

Semtex451
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U2 is actually two unicorns...or ..or ...a submarine

Wow ...some sort of.... iSub

A jesusmobe to help you walk on water...

Oh...oh I cant wait

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SAP chaps cook up Glass Glass style apps for ...WHERE are you off to with that FORKLIFT?

Semtex451
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I suppose SAP is better than Glasshole

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Applelutely fappulous: Fashionistas bow down before the JESUS PHONE

Semtex451
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Re: One step ahead

Few around here are getting any.

But I'm pleased that's trendy

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Semtex451
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Apple the new Black?

Dunno what the El Reg unit of cool is, but it's pretty low around here, and that is just as it should be.

I'm not worried, Apple haven't even brought the Turtle neck back into fashion.

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15 MEEELLION malware-infested mobiles worldwide – report

Semtex451
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Joke

Remember by reading this piece you're helping to keep El Reg content free

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AMD claims record with latest overclock-happy FX Series chips, again

Semtex451
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Megaphone

Hey

"remember that each chip requires a different motherboard"

So where's the socket chart?

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Apple 'fesses up: Rejected from the App Store, dev? THIS is why

Semtex451
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WTF

A spoonful of transparency, from Apple?

The end is nigh

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Love XKCD? Love science? You'll love a book about science from Randall Munroe

Semtex451
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Re: The author of this book is an internet cartoonist,

At Kindle £7.99

Hardback £10.49

Apologies to uk bookshops

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Second hacking crew joins Syrian Electronic Army on Team Assad

Semtex451
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Re: "According to Microsoft's Digital Crimes Unit,"

Nice, headed by Ballmer?

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Ouch... right in the VIDEO GAME: Lizard Squad attacks XBox, Twitch

Semtex451
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Joke

Re: Not sure Anon is dissasosciating itself?

Either way expect "zero fuck" to be in the 2015 OED

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Tim Cook: I'm NOT worried about CRAP iPad sales. It's just a 'speedbump'

Semtex451
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Apple are so psychotic on pricing to the point imho, they would sooner scrap overproduced tablets than discount them.

And could someone explain the 32-128GB pricing strata?

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'Video on internet may not be entirely truthful': Times headline

Semtex451
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Wheres Dabbsy?

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Is it an iPad? Is it a MacBook Air? No, it's a Surface Pro 3

Semtex451
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Re: The real question is...

Will it run Crysis?

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Semtex451
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ooooh

A surface to (macbook) air missile

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DIME for your TOP SECRET thoughts? Son of Snowden's crypto-chatter client here soon

Semtex451
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Point of Order

"The new service was hoped to be ready in time for the Chaos Communications Congress in Germany held days before New Year's Eve"

In other words during the FSM Festival of Blobbing.

Which I have just now invented.

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Snowden is FREE to ESCAPE FROM RUSSIA, say officials

Semtex451
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Joke

Hope he read the small print about being used as a cyber warrior against Ukraine

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Nice computers don’t need to go to the toilet, says Barclays

Semtex451
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Yes, please Mr. Dabbs. These suspenders are killing me. (The weekend came early)

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Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS

Semtex451
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Cooor what a lovely box a' Torx

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German spy agency staffer spied for NSA during gov probe into NSA spying – report

Semtex451
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Coat

Ach so!

Oooopz

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El Reg is looking for a new London sub-editor

This post has been deleted by a moderator

NASA: Satellite which will END man-made CO2 debate in orbit at last

Semtex451
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Meh

Lauchpad padding

Couldn't yesterdays story just have been updated. Tut.

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Nationwide Building Society's services out for the count

Semtex451
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Facepalm

I wonder how much more overdrawn I'll be, once service is restored.

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NASA aborts third attempt at finally settling man-made CO2 debate

Semtex451
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"This may not seem like much, but humans have essentially tipped the balance."

Can we let OCO2 decide that please Prof?

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You need a list of specific unknowns we may encounter? Huh?

Semtex451
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Re: So familiar

"Foolishly, I would try to help them curb the waste and suggest ways of improving their productivity and profitability. Oh yes, I truly was that naïve."

Wish I'd read that 15 years ago, I might have had some hair left.

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Study of Brit students finds TXTING doesn't ruin your writing

Semtex451
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Joke

ur moma

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Coulson GUILTY of conspiring to hack phones between 2000 and 2006

Semtex451
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Unhappy

Marvelous

Sorry I thought this was about the Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

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F1 racing ace Michael Schumacher's medical records were pinched

Semtex451
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"designed simply to push ‬traffic to the scammers' website"

A worthy target for Anonymous & Co.

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DON’T add me to your social network, I have NO IDEA who you are

Semtex451
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Alert

Re: Swirling JDs??

Watered-down stuff from the US and .........Ireland?!?

You intended to provoke 2 entire nations of Linkedin users?

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VIDEO SELFIE DRONE: 'AirDog' UAV follows you everywhere you go

Semtex451
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Pint

Now I can let the better-half home alone from the pub

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9 Dark Social Truths That Will Totally Blow Your Bowels!

Semtex451
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Re: Excellent!

Yes thank you for those shocking Statistics.

Yours,

City of London Cops Commish

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Irish court peels off gloves, hands Facebook PROBE request to ECJ

Semtex451
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Re: Looking promising

To Max Schrems, a toast

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PICS ON GROUND: Cabbies PARALYZE London in Uber rebellion

Semtex451
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So is a taxi that's not in Westminster a black scab?

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Apple seeks 'friendly' mouthpiece after losing tight-lipped Cotton spinner – report

Semtex451
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Joke

Sending my CV in

My first order of business would be an exclusive interview with El Reg, with a Q&A in the forums afterwards.

What fun that would be.

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Lupita Nyong'o, Game of Thrones' Brienne join Star Wars cast

Semtex451
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Just as long as no one is playing JarJar

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REVEALED: GCHQ's BEYOND TOP SECRET Middle Eastern INTERNET SPY BASE

Semtex451
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Explains why Dabbsy is "off sick" :)

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Google to plonk tentacles on 'unwired' world with $1bn launch of 180-satellite fleet

Semtex451
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Misleading Headline

I will not be alone in excitedly looking forward to a mention of the FSM in your otherwise excellent article.

Instead I'll just sit in quiet contemplation of the absence of disappointment

Meantime shurley a noodly appendage icon would make suitable restitution?

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Apple's steamy OS XXX picture leak riddle: Blurry snaps deleted

Semtex451
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Only 3.5 hours to go. YAAAAY ANI YAAAAAY

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Microsoft's NEW OS now runs on HALF of ALL desktop PCs

Semtex451
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Re: Wot no Vista?

Ssshh - we don't talk about that in polite society.

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SPB's mountaintop HQ menaced by WOLVES

Semtex451
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Re: Eh Hello?

Rather Air- Bourne Lupine IMaging Platform- possibly too many beers, it's the shock..... the concept that Dabbsy could ever become ill, it's somewhat disorienting.

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Semtex451
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Re: Eh Hello?

@ I ain't Spartacus - I was happy with AWACS and LASER has much merit, but a system so named suggests a need to be weaponised, which I suspect is off the table. Since you point out the clear suitability of an air-ship, I offer ABLIMP - Air Boyant Lupine IMaging Platform. I still prefer your interpretation of my AWACS and apologies to my fellow pedants for earlier repeating the word 'system' an error made in haste.

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