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* Posts by Semtex451

235 posts • joined 21 Mar 2012

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Hey Brit taxpayers. You just spent £4m on Central London ‘innovation playground’

Semtex451
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Pirate

"Broadband means most networking, collaboration, knowledge sharing and "showcasing" already takes place on the internet."

On the upside, this way my flying monkeys only have to target one place.

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DOLPHINS SMELL MAGNETS – did we hear that right, boffins?

Semtex451
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Holmes

"dolphins are sensitive to magnetic fields"

Other news just in... Birds are too.

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'This BITE MARK is a SMOKING GUN': Boffins probe ancient assault

Semtex451
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Coat

Nice.

Course I'd be more impressed if they found gun shot wounds.

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Consumers agree to give up first-born child for free Wi-Fi – survey

Semtex451
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Re: Ts & Cs.

And expecting users to be "expert", can never work. As we've all said a thousand times before, this highlights the risks the "industry" exposes users to, not the ignorance of the general public.

There is no patch for Human stupidity.

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TEEN RAMPAGE: Kids in iPhone 6 'Will it bend' YouTube 'prank'

Semtex451
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While Apple aren't the most PR savvy company on earth, (Antennae-gate etc) I really cant see them pressing charges and making this an even bigger story than it already is.

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Reg hands portable Sinclair ZX Spectrum to lucky compo winner

Semtex451
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Childcatcher

You Lucky ducker

Martin

Martin!

MARTIN!

Can I have a go on that Martin, pleeeeese?

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Welcome, weary digital titans, to the Disruptive Mindfulness UnSummit

Semtex451
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After the week we've had, we need him to Bash any old crap out ;)

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Semtex451
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Unhappy

Was Dabbsy in that tank with you lot?

Send him home

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Boffins' better blues beat battery blues

Semtex451
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Shurley this same method could be used to improve the efficiency of red and green too, making the whole panel more efficient, no?

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Four caged in UK after cyber-heist swipes €7m in EU carbon credits

Semtex451
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Impressive.

How did the plod track them down, did they leave carbon footprints?

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Bash bug: Shellshocked yet? You will be ... when this goes WORM

Semtex451
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Re: Oh $!#t.

I picked a bad day to quit smoking

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Swiss cops BAN MASKS at meeting of rebellious United Nations IP staff

Semtex451
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Re: The question is

That's the Chair of the Assembly, its not his best side.

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Your chance to WIN the WORLD'S ONLY HANDHELD ZX SPECTRUM

Semtex451
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Pirate

Arrr! Could we be having a C64 version mate?

You have a woman's hands, Arrr

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Damien Hirst, eat your heart out - these guys chop up TAXIS

Semtex451
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The lady by the cab looks "well impressed"

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Driving with an Apple Watch could land you with a £100 FINE

Semtex451
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Coat

You justWatch

We'll soon have Stephen Pie's opinion

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iOS 8 Healthkit gets a bug SO Apple KILLS it. That's real healthcare!

Semtex451
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Re: obviously

Luckily Apple included a torch on the iPhone 6

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Semtex451
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Joke

Re: WebMD

Stephen Pie has an "elevated heart", and I don't need an app to tell me that

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iPhone 6: Most exquisite MOBILE? No. It is the Most Exquisite THING. EVER

Semtex451
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Re: is it double irony

I had my coffee, and reading that article, I very nearly shat myself

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Speaking in Tech: 'I'm an Apple guy and I COULD CARE LESS about the iWatch'

Semtex451
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Re: How much do you care?

Typical Trolls don't think too hard, they just let the knee jerk reaction take over, I'm waiting for down voters to return and redeem themselves. Otherwise it's just Trolls down voting me and not genuine pedants.

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Semtex451
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WTF?

Re: How much do you care?

Ok I didn't want to do this, but to all you fellow pedants:

How many words and/or phrases in the English language can you count that now mean the opposite of what they originally meant?

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Semtex451
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Unhappy

Re: How much do you care?

Down votes for being open minded, I should have known.

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Semtex451
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Pint

Re: How much do you care?

Often wondered about that, we need a second pedant opinion though..

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Will Apple give Chinese iPhone workers cancer? THE TRUTH

Semtex451
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Joke

Re: Peasants in China are also exposed to carcinogenic substances

"I love those pickled things"

@ AC - Did you mean to say that?

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Huawei: There'll be BLOOD spilled in the smartphone sector soon

Semtex451
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Re: If Huawei are the future....

From memory the P7 reviewed well.

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Oi, Tim Cook. Apple Watch. I DARE you to tell me, IN PERSON, that it's secure

Semtex451
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Remember when that new Apple PR lady didn't get the memo and actually spoke to El Reg?

That was funny.

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Drones CAN'T deliver goods ... oh. Air traffic control system backed by NASA, you say?

Semtex451
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Unhappy

Re: More Worrying

....is the introduction of this notion that El Reg is fallible after all.

What's next? Climate Scientists are OK? Stephen Fry isn't that bad?

Apple is cool?

This could undermine my entire value system

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Europe prepares to INVADE comet: Rosetta landing site chosen

Semtex451
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Joke

Yea I always aim for the G spot and it never works, so I'm glad they chose J.

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Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM

Semtex451
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Coat

Yea but can it run Crysis?

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Slap my Imp up: Bullfrog's Dungeon Keeper

Semtex451
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I might still have the cd, and Mrs Semtex is at work tomorrow.......

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Speaking in Tech: On iPhone 6 - 'If you make big-*ss phones, you'd better make 'em usable'

Semtex451
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There I was, searching for the Asterisk

Since when was "big-ass phone" too rude to spell out?

It'll be in the 2015 OED and you know it.

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BBC Trust candidate defends licence fee, says evaders are CRIMINALS

Semtex451
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Really good science programmes? My shiney metal ass, name them, name one?

Now, if only there was an El Reg channel, called Vulture Central

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Even better than the iThing: Apple's Cook is strictly pro Bono

Semtex451
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U2 is actually two unicorns...or ..or ...a submarine

Wow ...some sort of.... iSub

A jesusmobe to help you walk on water...

Oh...oh I cant wait

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SAP chaps cook up Glass Glass style apps for ...WHERE are you off to with that FORKLIFT?

Semtex451
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Coat

I suppose SAP is better than Glasshole

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Applelutely fappulous: Fashionistas bow down before the JESUS PHONE

Semtex451
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Re: One step ahead

Few around here are getting any.

But I'm pleased that's trendy

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Semtex451
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Apple the new Black?

Dunno what the El Reg unit of cool is, but it's pretty low around here, and that is just as it should be.

I'm not worried, Apple haven't even brought the Turtle neck back into fashion.

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15 MEEELLION malware-infested mobiles worldwide – report

Semtex451
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Joke

Remember by reading this piece you're helping to keep El Reg content free

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AMD claims record with latest overclock-happy FX Series chips, again

Semtex451
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Megaphone

Hey

"remember that each chip requires a different motherboard"

So where's the socket chart?

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Apple 'fesses up: Rejected from the App Store, dev? THIS is why

Semtex451
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WTF

A spoonful of transparency, from Apple?

The end is nigh

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Love XKCD? Love science? You'll love a book about science from Randall Munroe

Semtex451
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Re: The author of this book is an internet cartoonist,

At Kindle £7.99

Hardback £10.49

Apologies to uk bookshops

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Second hacking crew joins Syrian Electronic Army on Team Assad

Semtex451
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Thumb Up

Re: "According to Microsoft's Digital Crimes Unit,"

Nice, headed by Ballmer?

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Ouch... right in the VIDEO GAME: Lizard Squad attacks XBox, Twitch

Semtex451
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Joke

Re: Not sure Anon is dissasosciating itself?

Either way expect "zero fuck" to be in the 2015 OED

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Tim Cook: I'm NOT worried about CRAP iPad sales. It's just a 'speedbump'

Semtex451
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Apple are so psychotic on pricing to the point imho, they would sooner scrap overproduced tablets than discount them.

And could someone explain the 32-128GB pricing strata?

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'Video on internet may not be entirely truthful': Times headline

Semtex451
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Wheres Dabbsy?

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Is it an iPad? Is it a MacBook Air? No, it's a Surface Pro 3

Semtex451
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Re: The real question is...

Will it run Crysis?

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Semtex451
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Coat

ooooh

A surface to (macbook) air missile

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DIME for your TOP SECRET thoughts? Son of Snowden's crypto-chatter client here soon

Semtex451
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Point of Order

"The new service was hoped to be ready in time for the Chaos Communications Congress in Germany held days before New Year's Eve"

In other words during the FSM Festival of Blobbing.

Which I have just now invented.

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Snowden is FREE to ESCAPE FROM RUSSIA, say officials

Semtex451
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Joke

Hope he read the small print about being used as a cyber warrior against Ukraine

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Nice computers don’t need to go to the toilet, says Barclays

Semtex451
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Yes, please Mr. Dabbs. These suspenders are killing me. (The weekend came early)

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