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* Posts by joeW

177 posts • joined 9 Mar 2012

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Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise

joeW

Re: No Bar!!

I grew up in rural Ireland. The village consisted of 6 houses and 3 pubs.

Sadly, that ratio was skewed by the building boom of the early '00s. There's now 12 houses and 3 pubs - still no shop or church.

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Leaked pics show EMBIGGENED iPhone 6 screen

joeW

Sammy's got you covered!

Here's your 8" phone - http://gizmodo.com/5986485/galaxy-note-80-hands-on-the-8-inch-tablet-as-an-8-inch-phone

And, if you define a tablet as a phone without the phone bits, here's your 4" tablet - http://www.amazon.com/Samsung-4-Inch-Galaxy-Discontinued-Manufacturer/dp/B005P1VMLU/ref=zg_bs_2739893011_2

It never ceases to amaze me how well the "chuck every possible size and shape of device at the wall and see what sticks" approach has worked for them.

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Apple fanbois eat static as Beeb, Sky web stream vids go titsup on iOS

joeW

Re: Cert issue on CDN?

Sounds plausible, especially seeing as we're in the midst of a mass-certificate-renewing frenzy following heartbleed.

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Reg gets sneak peek of Getac's chunky TOUGH AS NAILS 8.1-incher

joeW
Trollface

Re: GPS as an option?

True, it runs a noddy flashy bug fest of a PC OS instead.

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Seagate brings out 6TB HDD, did not need NO STEENKIN' SHINGLES

joeW

I have a 2GB Bigfoot lying around somewhere. The damned things are as close to indestructible as HDDs can be.

Given my age and the last time I used that drive, I reckon it's probably mostly low-resolution JPG porn on there. A nice present for future archaeologists?

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LOHAN preps Vulture 2 for hot vinyl wrap

joeW
Go

I'll say this for you chaps -

You know how to build the suspense.

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Behold, the TITCHY T-REX that prowled the warm Arctic of long ago

joeW

Re: Lets clone it. @MrDamage

Probably best to shit on the neighbour's cat instead.

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joeW

Re: And this is filed under Security?

> would you break into premises guarded by a polar bear lizard?

Not more than once anyway.

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Final LOHAN test flights codenamed 'Punch' and 'Judy'

joeW

Sir Thomas Knyvet

Well thanks a whole bunch - I've been lost down the Wikipedia Hole for the past hour...

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You'll NEVER guess who's building the first Ubuntu phones in 2014

joeW
Thumb Up

Re: Hope the contract includes upgrading the website to mulitingual support

I ran into exactly that issue when designing a site template for an Irish government department a couple of years ago. They were not happy with the Union Jack.

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Baby's got the bends: LG's D958 G Flex Android smartie

joeW

Re: Almost true.

That will change everything.

Again.

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Android users running old OS versions? Not anymore, say latest stats

joeW

Whatever the OS, I think smartphones have matured to a point where running a one year old version isn't the same drawback as it was in 2009 or 2010. I mean, how many Galaxy S4 users will be drooling and lusting after the upcoming S5? Most I imagine will think "It's a bit nicer, but there's no compelling reason to upgrade - I'm happy to wait until the S6 or whatever".

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Apple plans to waggle iNormous 4½-incher in fanbois' faces

joeW

Re: Stupid

Samsung occasionally manage to lead and create a market (the whole VLP/Phablet/etc market that we're discussing here for example). Granted they normally do it by slinging as many different models and makes at the wall as possible and seeing what sticks, but still.

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My name is Dabbsy and I am an EMAILOHOLIC

joeW
Alert

Don't leave me hanging

"finding something that supports POP, IMAP, custom Exchange, Google weirdness and the frankly strange iCloud in one program without cocking any of them up is quite a challenge"

So, what did you end up using?

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Windows Phone app devs, this is for you

joeW

I forgot, all jokes can only be told one time ever, just in case some prat on a message board has heard them before.

Oh the shame of it, where can I put my face...

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joeW

"Windows Phone app devs, this is for you"

"And we're sure you'll both be delighted by it"

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Rogue Android: We show you how BlackBerry's pain can be your gain

joeW

Re: £149 for a nearly android, or £99 for a good one?

What could really set the cat among the sky-rats is the news that Blackberry intends to make flagship-level phones with their famous Qwerty keyboards again. It wouldn't be for me, but a lot of people have a raging erection for Qwerty phones - and no other manufacturer is putting out top-end Andriod-app-capable handsets with a physical keyboard these days.

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joeW

Re: "You can now tap into a rich and vibrant Android ecosystem and minimise your exposure to Google"

Minimise != Eliminate

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Samsung whips out 12.2-inch 'Professional' iPad killers

joeW

I recall similar comments when Samsung started releasing phones bigger than 4.7". Just because a market doesn't exist, it doesn't mean they can't make one.

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Fair winds and following servers: The art of flight prediction

joeW

Re: here's hoping

As well they should my laddo... imagine if it fell into the hands of terrrurists!?!?

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Two Brits face criminal trial for sending 'menacing' tweets

joeW

Bit sexist really

'Criado-Perez said she had "stumbled into a nest of men who co-ordinate attacks on women"'

She just assumed it would be men - now it turns out one of the accused is a woman. Will a retraction be forthcoming?

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One-minute Koch-blocking earns attacker two years, massive fine

joeW

Gentlemen...

...we seem to be dealing with the most 1337 HaX0R we've ever encountered. May god have mercy on our souls.

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Windows 7 outstrips Windows 8.x with small November growth

joeW

Re: Aero

Like all other design trends, Flat UI is amazing when done right; and bloody awful when done by ham-fisted amateur designers who are just following the trend rather than putting serious thought into the How and Why.

I think Metro falls into the former camp myself. Yes, it took a lot of getting used to, but so did Windows 95 back in the day.

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Fancy knocking off early? Just run our fake computer crash 'virus', say admen

joeW

Re: Utter Bastards

Anyone in tech support who couldn't see through this one in under three seconds should be thinking about a career change. Maybe go into toilet cleaning, or middle management.

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Google makes Gmail EVEN NOISIER, or should that be nosier?

joeW

Comments seem to be appearing without prior moderation, so probably not!

1
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Internet Explorer 11 for Win7 bods: Soz, no HTML5 fun for you

joeW

Re: Basically, another bloody version

@Roo, 15:58

"your cause seems to be an exercise in masochism"

Yup. More commonly known as "being a web developer".

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joeW

Basically, another bloody version

So there's now essentially two different versions of IE11 to worry about instead of one. And since they're both (in Microsoft's strange world-view) IE11, we can't even use Microsoft's own strange "[if gte IE 10]" trick to detect them.

Since IE9 I've actually found myself sticking up for Internet Explorer, because it really has turned into a fairly decent modern browser, but fucking hell they're making it difficult for me.

14
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Netflix, YouTube video killed the BitTorrent star? Duo gobble web traffic

joeW

Seems reasonable

Netflix (plus a US proxy) has replaced about 70% of my bittorrenting.

Although my (probably very common) use case may be skewing these statistics a bit. They're only reporting on bandwidth usage in North America, but a fair chunk of that traffic is probably global Netflix usage through American proxies.

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Bloke named 'human' demands 'COPSLIE' licence plate

joeW

RationalWiki's article is also worth a read if you're looking for a giggle - http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Freeman_on_the_land

I particularly recommend the section "Freeman Successes"

11
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Economical Indian MOM whips up her eggs en route to Mars

joeW

US$74 Million

That's actually not a lot, is it? Well done India, fingers crossed it all goes to plan.

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How Google paved the way for NSA's intercepts - just as The Register predicted 9 YEARS AGO

joeW

“Simply put, if a computer programmed by people learns the contents of a communication, and takes action based on what it learns, it invades privacy.”

So Spam Filters and the like are illegal too? Virus scanners? Send an email over the Public Internet and it will pass through several such systems with your knowledge or approval.

That definition is far too broad to be useful.

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OH what a LOVELY, well-rendered WAR: Yes, it’s 'Call of Duty: Ghosts'

joeW

Re: And we now why they called it the Xbox 720

Umm.... it's called the Xbox One.

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Loathed wiggly-word CAPTCHAs morph into 'fun' click-'n'-drag games

joeW

Re: Not digitizing books

Ok, go on - how is a publicly displayed house number private?

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Printing the Future: See a few of UK’s 6.2 million 3D-printed ‘things’

joeW
Headmaster

Re: And yet it already has shown it's usefulness

Hmmm, on investigating further it seems that "It's" is a valid contraction for "it has", as well as "it is". So technically I was correct, if only by accident...

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joeW

And yet it already has shown it's usefulness

If you don't think so, the SPB would probably like to have a word with you.

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Tech specs wreck: Details of Google's Nexus 5 smartphone LEAKED over interwebs

joeW

TouchWiz

Yeah, and there's absolutely no way whatsoever to use another launcher either.

Oh, wait.

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The Vulture 2: What paintjob should we put on our soaraway spaceplane?

joeW

Vulture, you say?

How about painting it like one? Red/pink head, black/brown body, off-white wingtips and edges - nothing fancy, no feather patterns or anything like that.

I'll fire up the GIMP and colour in the template in a little bit, just as soon as the boss isn't looking....

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HTC staring down the barrel of a US sales ban after Nokia's patent coup

joeW

Re: Now we know...

I can't see HTC being too enthusiastic about releasing many more WinPho models, that's for sure.

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Our sensational rocket ship Vulture 2 REVEALED: LIVE at 3pm

joeW

Re: BYOD!

Thank god you specified "tablet" in that post.

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Windows 8.1: Microsoft's reluctant upgrade has a split-screen personality

joeW

Re: I suspect...

Oh my god, you used a $ instead of an S! Because, Microsoft are a profit-driven corporation, right? Wow, that's hilarious. Seriously, my sides are splitting here.

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Steelie Neelie calls for TOTAL BAN on EU mobe roaming charges

joeW

This will be fantastic, if it goes ahead. Watch this space I suppose.

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Smartwatch craze is all just ONE OFF THE WRIST

joeW

Re: I remember watches

"even the most basic 90's phone had a clock on the display."

My first phone was a Siemens C25. The only way to check the time on that little beastie was to send a text message to yourself.

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joeW

Re: What we need is a hybrid display

Something like this?

http://www.digitalversus.com/mobile-phone/mwv-2103-yota-phone-two-faced-russian-smartphone-n28492.html

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'World's worst director' plans Snowden-inspired movie comedy

joeW

The second one kept me entertained for a week or so too. Pity the game engine was pretty dated by the time it was released, but I do have happy memories of decapitating cops and hookers with a shovel, setting fire to the heads, and kicking them around the town.

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Vulture 2 spaceplane rises from the powdered nylon

joeW
Alert

Re: Still beats a helmet in your crack though.

Speak for yourself mate.

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Nokia's PHAB-ULOUS comeback attempt: Huge WinPho 8 mobe rumoured

joeW

That seems to be the usual response from people I know who have either had a play around with a display model or a mate's handset, or are given one as a work phone.

"It's kinda nice, but not really for me"

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'BLING BLING, BLING BLING' 'Hello, yes, my iPhone is made of GOLD'

joeW

If the rumours are true

Then I for one will be very interested in seeing if a wider product portfolio does good things or bad for Apple's bottom line. I enjoy casual mockery of iStuff as much as the next fandroid, but I'd honestly like to see the new strategy pay off (not least because Apple are the largest single employer in the city I live - if they were to pull out it would be disastrous for the place).

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Twee...THUD: Boffins build 'The Classifier' to seek out, kill millions of Twitter fakes

joeW

They should have asked me first

I have a much simpler and 100% effective algorithm to determine if a twitter account is being used to indiscriminately spam the internet with vacuous, pointless and bloody annoying text.

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Netflix dares UK freetards: Watch new Breaking Bad NOW or torrent it?

joeW

Self-Confessed Massive Freetard here

I actually started watching Breaking Bad from S1E01 last night - legally, on Netflix. If the last few episodes are still PPV by the time I reach the end of S5E05, and I like the show as much as I think I will from the first three episodes, then I think I'd be prepared to drop a few quid on them.

I'll still be yoinking full-season torrents though - I like having local copies of my media.

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