* Posts by joeW

388 posts • joined 9 Mar 2012

Page:

Here's how to see Tim Cook or SatNad strut their starkers stuff

joeW

Re: Narcissistic Onanism

Tried it at the weekend. Third match was the fucking head off me, I was a bit freaked out.

1
0
joeW

Narcissistic Onanism

I'm going to upload a pic of myself.

1
0

Radar missile decoys will draw enemy missiles away from RAF jets

joeW

Re: Security by melting?

Given the height they're going to free-fall from I think their self destruct mechanism is known as "the ground".

14
2

Evernote dumps its own bit barn, boards Google's cloud

joeW

Re: Evernote no more

You're somehow unaware that Evernote has always been a cloud app?

10
0

Ireland's govt IT: Recession and job cuts forced us to adapt

joeW

Re: Bill McCluggage

No, he's the fool who thought Microsoft were bluffing about XP's end of support.

http://www.independent.ie/business/technology/governments-information-officer-dismisses-microsoft-warning-over-vulnerable-computers-29465387.html

0
0

Ireland looks like it's outpacing Britain in the superfast broadband rollout stakes

joeW

Actually we'd rather the border wasn't there at all, but you lads do seem to insist on it...

8
0

PHP flaws allowed God mode access to top smut site

joeW

Re: What I want to know.

Not only that, but Facebook will actually block pornhub/xvideos/xhamster links if you try to send them via messenger - I can only imagine the same is true for openly sharing them on your profile.

0
0

Wealthy youngsters more likely to be freetards than anyone else – study

joeW

Re: What's missing is how this changes over time...

I'll add one on to that - when I was younger I spent damn near every waking moment in front of a screen. I pirated more then because (a) I had practically infinite time to watch/play/listen to stuff and therefore needed a lot more media, and (b) I had practically infinite time to hunt out decent dodgy sources for pirated media.

I'm older now, and my time is more valuable to me.

7
0

New phones rumoured as BlackBerry cans BB10 production

joeW

Re: A sad end

I hope you extended a job offer to her first at least.

0
0

700,000 Muslim Match dating site private messages leaked online

joeW

This could have very nasty consequences

A few years ago I worked with a Muslim lad who was arranged-engaged to a woman back home in Pakistan. When they chatted online, they still had to have a chaperone sitting beside her to make sure they didn't start to discuss "inappropriate" stuff.

They used to ignore that restriction now and then. Her family found out and the engagement was broken off the next day.

If the private chat logs released reveal stuff like that it? Well, I wouldn't like to be the women in question.

7
0

Fat-thumbed a BGP entry? Relax, now your pain has a name

joeW

Telias outage was due to an IS-IS cost

Don't spread that around or tomorrow's Daily Mail will have the headline "ISIS PLOT TO DESTROY INTERNET!"

1
0

Major Tim Peake comes home to a gastronaut's Sunday roast

joeW
Trollface

Re: Food Glorious Food!

I thought the Linux users' veggy intake is limited to the little freeze-dried packets that come with ramen noodles.

5
0

Ransomware scum build weapon from JavaScript

joeW

Re: How exactly does this execute?

What has the JVM got to do with Javascript?

18
0

Lester Haines: RIP

joeW

A thought

As we all know, Lester did some sterling work raising funds for anti-malaria charity through his own quid-a-day nosh challenge and in starting up an El Reg Posse for same.

Could we set up some sort of fundraiser in his memory? At least we'd have some small bit of good come from this utterly shit news.

7
0
joeW

RIP

Lester's SPB articles were the reason I started reading El Reg. I always enjoyed how he joined in the comments on his articles too.

5
0

Friends with benefits: A taxing problem for Ireland in a post-Brexit world

joeW

"The UK and Ireland have always enjoyed free movement of goods"

Well, not always - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Irish_Trade_War

3
0

Did you know there's a mega cybercrime backlog in Ireland? Now you do

joeW

Will do next time I speak to him in person, which may be a few weeks.

1
0
joeW

I know one of their detectives actually. 95% of their time is taken up with kiddie-porn cases.

1
0

Cork data centre will offer super-speedy US to Europe data times

joeW

Re: But *why* 320 km from a nuclear installation ?

Well I assume it was originally "200 miles", but they converted to KM because that's (officially at least) what we use in Ireland - that solves the mystery of why such a specific distance.

Why 200 miles in the first place, i have no idea. Even the Chernobyl exclusion zone is only a fraction of that.

0
0

Get ready for Google's proprietary Android. It's coming – analyst

joeW

Bit worrying if its true

Android/Google basically morphing into the new Windows/MS. Cue much "No Google, you were supposed to bring balance to the force" angst.

Whats Richard Windsor's track record like on calling this sort of thing by the way?

16
0

Rogue Somerset vulture lands at Royal Navy airbase

joeW

"The emergency rogue vulture hotline"

Are they more usually involved in the rounding up of El Reg hacks who have gone off the deep end after reading one press release too many?

18
0

Kraftwerk versus a cheesy copycat: How did the copycat win?

joeW

"Have you noticed that with copyright, the people who complain loudest and longest about how unfair it all is often the least talented?"

Hah.

4
0

One ad-free day: Three UK to block adverts across network in June

joeW

Re: Block bootstap bloat

Management want "a responsative webby site" so it will look good on whatever i-shiney-thing is flavour of the month around the boardroom table. Sure boss, can do you one using all custom in-house css and raw javascript. It will be small, fast, and do *exactly* what you want, and it will take three weeks (not including testing). Or we can lob a big ol' ball of bootstrap and jQuery at it, get it polished off by lunchtime tomorrow, and save my energy for doing nice svelte stuff on my own weekend projects.

Tough call alright.

1
0

Android might be on the way to the Raspberry Pi

joeW

Re: Another slice of pi

Classic console emulation perhaps, with a couple of China-brand bluetooth gamepads?

5
0

Cryptxxx shipwrecked: Laughing white hats shred latest ransomware

joeW
Pint

Is there anywhere one could chip in to buy these fine people a beer?

6
0

123-Reg has another PITSTOP

joeW

Partial Inability to Support Optimal Performance

That's PITSOP. How about using SusTain instead of Support?

2
0

Can ad biz’s LEAN avert ADPOCALYPSE?

joeW
Trollface

Advertorials, etc

"Without advertising, many sites would increase the proportion of advertorial or “native content" to stay afloat, peppering the copy with exhortations to drink Pepsi or cure erectile dysfunction."

Or to adopt something called "DevOps"?

33
0

Clixta: A copyright-friendly way to share your family photos

joeW

Unique ID

"try uploading a photo to the Daily Mail, the BBC, or Google, and any user ID metadata will be stripped. It’s a world without property rights. Clixta ensures each photo has a unique ID."

How does that work?

Also, I just had a check on a few photos that uploaded to my Google Photos and the metadata all seems to be intact.

2
0

EU set to bin €500 note

joeW

Re: Re:It's time to start hoarding gold while you still can

I wouldn't write off the hipsters. All their wankish "urban gardening" and basketweaving and shit would be a lot more useful post-zambies than my own carefully honed skills involving websites and gaming.

9
0

Ireland's tech sector fears fallout of Brexit 'Yes' vote

joeW

Re: "no fixed controls on the land border between Northern Ireland and the republic"

Because if they'd tried to make us pay for a wall in the 70s and 80s, we would only have been able to afford one that was two feet tall and make of chipboard.

7
0
joeW

That's a change

Whatever happened to "Brits Out!!"?

8
0

RIP Prince: You were the soundtrack of my youth

joeW

Prince

Don't you mean "The Artist Formerly Known As Alive"?

10
6

Intel told Irish council all was well just before 12k job cuts announced

joeW

Re: Wonder how much

Grants don't have to be repayed - that's why they're called grants and not loans.

7
0
joeW

Re: Wonder how much

Yeah, they set up in 1989 so the IR£87m probably dates to around that time. They certainly received more grants since then - IR£26m in 1996 for example (http://www.irishtimes.com/sport/intel-top-of-ida-league-with-26m-1.85886), so who knows what the actual total is.

It's almost certainly a hell of a lot less than US$12.5bn though, so lI'd call it a win overall - http://www.idaireland.com/how-we-help/case-studies/intel/

3
0

Chrome lives in dog years: It's seven years old but just turned 50

joeW

Re: Isolating each tab

I think that's more the fault of what Chrome is loading into those tabs.

5
0

Utah declares 'war on smut'

joeW

"War on Smut"

Fantastic idea. It'll be just like that time there was a "War on Drugs", and now there's no drugs anywhere.

58
1

Magic Kinder app developer: Surprise! No security holes

joeW

Good response

While the app should never have been released without proper security testing in the first place, credit where its due for the response. Don't try to band-aid the troublesome feature, remove it entirely and (presumably) re-do it from scratch for inclusion in a future release.

5
0

Windows 10 debuts Blue QR Code of Death – and why malware will love it

joeW

Re: Come on MS. Please tell us who thought that this was a good idea?

Millennials don't though. Nobody really does, apart from during the first two weeks of owning a smartphone.

13
1

That naked picture on my PC? Not mine. The IT guy put it there

joeW

Its not every day I learn a new word from El Reg

Now, to see if I can slip "traduce" into a sentence today.

13
1

We bet your firm doesn't stick to half of these 10 top IT admin tips

joeW

Re: encourage staff to challenge anyone who's not displaying their badge

What I'm not is a fucking bouncer. "Challenge them", yeah, no bother, all 65kg of the skinny IT nerd that I am is going to go around challenging people for the good of my employers. The one time it turns out to be a fucking nutter I'm challenging will go really well for me. Yeah, we have occasionally had proper nutters try to get in (my employers have contracts with some rather unpopular companies, I'll say no more).

0
0
joeW

encourage staff to challenge anyone who's not displaying their badge

If I'm expected to do a security guard's job as well as my own, I'll want a security guard's pay on top of my current salary.

12
5

There's oil in that thar … Chinese space probe?

joeW

Re: Cheap shot.

They'll give that satellite more democracy than it knows what to do with!

19
0

Which keys should I press to enable the CockUp feature?

joeW

Re: I've been april fooled

It's Ctrl+Alt+Up to revert to a normal orientation.

The old "Desktop rotation" is usually used as a first warning to those who don't lock their machines when theyu walk away around here.

16
0

When Steve Jobs was away, Apple's designers snuck out a penis-shaped remote control

joeW

Re: Yawn article

More like he had to write an article to go around the penis joke.

Well done that man!

15
0

Furious English villagers force council climbdown over Satan's stone booty

joeW

Re: Size 14

My old home town has a similarly-sized lump of rock in the middle of a junction (something to do with the foundation of the town, I forget the story/legend). Simple solution, throw some bollards and a bit of kerbing around it.

Like so - https://www.google.ie/maps/@51.6229216,-8.8879659,3a,41y,314.74h,70.21t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s_AkvmT_lVh71mw_ZDUPG8A!2e0!7i13312!8i6656

3
0

BMW complies with GPL by handing over i3 car code

joeW

Re: lack escalation

Why wreck some poor outsourced phone drone's stats for the week because you're pissed off with a company he doesn't even work for? I can assure you, he doesn't want to be there any more than you want to be phoning in.

13
8

Here's a great idea: Let's make a gun that looks like a mobile phone

joeW

Re: Top Gear

Do you guys still have that deal where you can own black people?

21
3

Firefox features will land out of cycle and Mozilla's cool with that

joeW

Re: Small increment - big change?

Had a similar issue a couple of months ago - they seem to have removed any option for manually "trusting" plugins. In the end I resorted to a slightly older version of Firefox running in a VM for testing, and also learned the same lesson as you regarding auto/manual updates.

2
0

Ransomware now using disk-level encryption

joeW

Re: I hate to say it...

Vastly more prevalent on Windows of course, but lately some miscreants have been sharing the love - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/03/07/first_working_mac_ransomware_infects_transmission_users/

1
0

Page:

Forums