* Posts by MrZoolook

282 posts • joined 28 Feb 2012

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Fanbois: We paid $2000 for full satisfaction but now we have SPREADING STAINS

MrZoolook

Re: Laugh at this

"that make you a cult. Shit. 2 letters out..."

UT?

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MrZoolook
Coat

I don't get it

You paid for shit, you're getting the stains as extra. What's the problem?

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Pass the Lollipop: Google creepily warms to body contact with Android lock function

MrZoolook
Meh

Oddly enough...

"lock if it suddenly moves more than a metre or so"

You better make sure never to get on a bus

I was thinking the opposite, knowing our bus service and traffic queues.

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Woman caught on CCTV performing drunken BJ blew right to privacy

MrZoolook

Re: Pregnant women + very drunk

It was a residential block.

I'm currently arguing with folks in the local rags forums that she should have been fined for indecency, and forced to cough up the money spent by our council to clean up after her. Apparently, that makes me the bad guy...

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W*nkers of the world unite to SAVE THE PLANET one jerk-off at a time

MrZoolook

Re: Spelling

"But also, since the English refuse to pronounce the letter 'r', shouldn't it be "spelt" as "wankuh"?"

No, that's cockneys, not English. They are like the mad uncle the family try to hide from the rest of civilisation.

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Trolls prevail because good men do nothing: boffins

MrZoolook

Re: @RyokuMas - "Good men"...

"What would be useful is for El Reg to provide a "block user" facility, then you could ignore them completely."

You mean, a facility similar to that provided by all major social online sites, that if a victim of "bullying" used, would negate them from being bullied online in the first place? A facility that shows why people may be unwilling to step in to stop online bullying?

Because its actually very easy to prevent in the first place... just click the button to block them... oh my head hurts now I'm the innovator of online bullying prevention.

USE THE TOOLS AVAILABLE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

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MrZoolook
Meh

Re: Nice beating

"I am afraid this is the only way to make them stop."

So to clarify, you think an appropriate response to somone heckling you or calling you names online, is to beat them up, maybe scar them for life, and maybe accidentally cause brain damage if you land a punch wrong?

I think that would show everyone who the bully is.

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MrZoolook
Facepalm

Here's a thought

"As a victim of on-line abuse, there's nothing I CAN do to stop it."

Awww, you poor little lamb. You could just unfriend them, leave the chat room, make real friends that you actually know outside of Facecunt or Twatter, or even *shock horror oh the humanity* turn off the computer. Any of those would help.

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ASA raps 'F*CK YOU GOOGLE' vlogger + chums over VIDEO LICKFEST

MrZoolook
Meh

What?!?!

BBC journalists are our Advertising Standards moral overseers now. What kind of fucked up world is this?

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Google founders to offload $4 BEEELLION in shares

MrZoolook
Stop

What's a beeellion?

Sure, it was funny the first few times. But after 2 decades (nearly) it shows a total lack of wit and imagination. Get some new material FFS!

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In India, Facebook and chums boil the internet down to 38 websites

MrZoolook
Mushroom

Facebook... essential!?

You know the planet is fucked when Facebook is one of the 38 most "essential" websites in operation.

*insert Farnsworth meme*

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California mulls law to protect your e-privates from warrant-free cops

MrZoolook
Meh

Where is the NSA Head Office?

I only ask, because as a UK citizen, I want to know if I would be accorded the same protection as a Californian.

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Assange's cop chaperones have cost £10 MEEELLION to date

MrZoolook

Re: He's obviously dangerous

Quote: "even under English law that apparently still meets the definition of rape."

I read somewhere recently, that as far as the courts are concerned, you now need to fill out a form in triplicate, get that witnessed by a 3rd party, file it with a lawyer, and only THEN can you safely assume she meant "yes".

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Crackdown on eBay sellers 'failing to display' VAT numbers

MrZoolook

Re: so what's to stop

"Are we still allowed to send a gunboat?"

Allowed, yes. Capable..?

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Google Translate MEAT GRINDER turns gay into 'faggot', 'poof', 'queen'

MrZoolook
Windows

Screw you guys, I'm using the grown up, uncensored dictionary when I play Scrabble.

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What gets the internet REALLY excited? Kittens? No. EXPLODING Kittens

MrZoolook
Coat

I see what you did there

Christmas... wrapped...

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Panicked teen hanged himself after receiving ransomware scam email

MrZoolook

Re: How to spoil a good comment.

"Its not an exaggeration: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/northern-ireland/woman-pensioner-jailed-for-not-paying-tv-licence-ridiculous-cost-of-jailing-fine-dodgers-in-northern-ireland-29221028.html"

Nothing there about anyone WITHOUT a television being jailed for TV license evasion, pensioner or otherwise.

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Doomsday Clock says 3 MINUTES to MIDNIGHT. Again

MrZoolook
Facepalm

Re: Dark matter asteroids?

"The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy ... refers to an iPad style device"

I'd go with "iPad style devices copied their basic design from The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy."

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LEAKED: Samsung's iPHONE 6 KILLER... the Samsung Galaxy S6

MrZoolook
Meh

I'm sure Apple will find a way...

... to prevent Samsung from selling this legally. Something like claiming patent on a system of using a device to send a signal to another device. Or copyrighting the use of ears to listen to sounds. Or something else that has been in use for many years.

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World's largest ship swallows 900 MEGATINS of baked beans

MrZoolook
Mushroom

Thinking ahead, post 2017

Being in the UK, a 1500 watt vacuum cleaner will cease to be a valid unit of measurement come 2017. I propose a task force to carry out the job of proactively converting all published measurements based on vacuum cleaner wattage, into the newer 900 watt grade before then.

We don't need another millennium style bug causing all measuring on the vacuum cleaner scale to bring the world to its knees.

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Sick of the 'criminal' lies about pie? Lobby the government HERE

MrZoolook

Re: Ah, New Zealand...

Dogshit Corner

Vomit Road

Pothole Avenue

Riverbank Rise (closed during dry season)

Chav Street

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Italian appeal court clears seismologists of manslaughter

MrZoolook
Mushroom

Surely they should sue (insert God of choice here)

After all, it was (insert God of choice here)'s deliberate choice to actually CAUSE the catastrophe. The scientists merely acted on the available information at the time.

Fucking idiot court should throw this out with no right of appeal.

When I'm king... etc.

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SO LONELY: Woman DARED to get rid of her iPHONE - Apple DUMPED all her TXTS

MrZoolook
Coffee/keyboard

This is the same Lucy Koh who allowed Apple a settlement for patent infringement regarding public domain software solutions, such as swiping to unlock?

My, how the mighty have fallen. If I was a gambling man and you'd have asked, I would have guessed she would award Apple money on the grounds of "failing to disclose termination of a service, thus costing Apple storage fees for undeliverable messages." or something.

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REVEALED: Apple fanbois are 'MENTALLY UNSTABLE' - iShop staff

MrZoolook
Trollface

Re: How to deal with customers with perception problems...

In customer services, there are no such things as problems, merely "opportunities for solutions."

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MrZoolook
Meh

Typical Apple kool-aid-phile

"when it comes to hot girls, there's something called the Apple effect ... someone that is mediocre looking turns into a 8."

"I ... have a beautiful girlfriend"

Not much to say, is there?

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An 'embed' link isn't a new infringement, says EU Court of Justice

MrZoolook
Facepalm

Re: DMCA'd the Video?

"AFAIK, German/EU copyrights aren't valid in the USofA."

Seriously!? Folliwing that logic, any US bound copyright isn't valid anywhere else. No, I think you are mistaken.

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Use home networking kit? DDoS bot is BACK... and it has EVOLVED

MrZoolook

I'm not shocked at all. Especially considering that given the option to change login details, even the US military didn't bother to change their software from default login values...

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BBC Trust candidate defends licence fee, says evaders are CRIMINALS

MrZoolook
Paris Hilton

Re: Thank you, Brits!

"As to the value--£145.50, depending on what it buys you in terms of programming, that doesn't sound all that steep..."

Except what it buys you has been aired a hundred times before, or has 'celebrities' on it that cost so much, the program itself has no actual production cost because there is no budget left in the BBCs otherwise infinite cash cow.

"...compared to what I would have to pay for, say, a block of sports programming or movie channels on cable or satellite."

Your missing the main point here. If we want any of that stuff, we have to pay the satellite fee IN ADDITION to the licence fee. The licence is paid for the privilege of using a TV, even if we pay for (and only watch) a subscription service, such as Sky. In fact, even if you can conclusively prove that the BBC reception is so bad, you cannot possibly watch BBC channels, you still have to pay the licence fee if you watch ANY live TV. This is what my problem is with the fee, the BBC reap the benefits from not even having to produce decent television programs. In fact, they can reap the benefits from OTHER suppliers providing a better service.

"The main difference is that I don't have to buy them if I don't want them, and the national government doesn't threaten to jail me for not buying them."

So to put it another way, you have the better deal after all.

Paris, because her service is much like the BBC... flakey at best.

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MrZoolook

Re: I like this woman

"I have never been able to 'get' a public (non profit) trust criminalising people for not paying for it's massive budget that is pissed away on high pay for it's bosses and ridiculous severance fees for those it employed mistakenly or no longer wants.Oh and IT schemes that never come to fruition!"

Sounds like central government.

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Pentagon hacker McKinnon can't visit sick dad for fear of extradition

MrZoolook

"He hacked US military systems. Even if he did achieve this more by luck than skill, he probably still has a man from the NSA reading every email and IM conversation he has."

Hacked it by using the default user/password combination. Frankly the US government should be thanking him for exposing and highlighting the incompetence of the sys admins. He did them a favour and showed them they needed to, you know, actually secure their security services own secure systems.

The ungrateful gits.

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Facebook goes down, people dial 911

MrZoolook

Re: What can I say?

"Correlation does not imply causation but their are one of two possibilities... a) FB is an idiot magnet or b) FB turns its users into idiots."

Ah, good use of sarcasm their.

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Apple ebook price-fix row: Stiffed readers inch closer to $450m windfall

MrZoolook

Re: Will Fandroids never learn?

"So I guess people buying Samsung are just as stupid as people buying Apple, right?"

At least they have made a conscious decision not to support a company that copyrights or patents public domain design traits, then retrospectively sue the people who are using them.

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Senate introduces USA FREEDOM Act to curb NSA spying excesses

MrZoolook
Trollface

Re: Oh ffs...

I was bored.

NSA... No Secracy Allowed.

GCHQ... Gigantic Conglomaracy Harvesting Quickly.

USA PATRIOT Act... Undoubtedly Stupid And Pathetic Attempt To Rationalise Investigation Of Taxpayers And Citizens Totally.

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Phone charging log helps to convict murderer

MrZoolook
Trollface

Marketing

Surely this will be used by Apple to proves that i* help solve crimes. They can even have a iPhone wearing a cape and spandex.

note to self: A method to use a device to solve crimes. Realy must patent that before Apple retrospectively do, and then sue the Oz gov for infringement.

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Record labels sue Pandora over vintage song royalties

MrZoolook

Am I missing something here?

It seems like the gist of this story is: The RIAA are suing a company because they can't sue it for copyright theft.

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French novel falls foul of Apple's breast inspectors

MrZoolook
Meh

Re: Why do people fuss about Muslims?

"What is child un-safe about a mother's breasts?"

Good point, except she isn't breastfeeding, you don't know she's a mother (unless you've read the book of course), and I think the pose she's in certainly suggests an element of sexual pravocativeness.

Other then that, good point.

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Hidden 'Windigo' UNIX ZOMBIES are EVERYWHERE

MrZoolook
FAIL

Re: The devil's in the detail

"The very first post here is an MS shill/troll"

No, the first post was pointing out sarcastically how wrong Linux users were when gloating how secure they are. That's not trolling or shilling, that's pointing out sarcastically how wrong Linux users were when gloating how secure they are. Nothing more, nothing less. If Linux users see more into it then that, then that's showing an altogether different type of insecurity.

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Kick us as hard as you like, RIGHT IN THE CYBERS, says Japan

MrZoolook
Facepalm

Surely, this article isn't equating insider data breaches and hacking..?

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Hey, Nimbus Data. What you doin' with those 4TB flash slabs? Making a 96TB box? We KNEW it!

MrZoolook
Trollface

96 TB... should be about enough to install Win-8...

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Apple patents touch-sensitive controls for MacBook

MrZoolook

"My old man still asks to this day "Is that an iPhone?" when seeing any touch-screen phone (even though I've got him to buy himself a Nexus 5), suggesting that the charge of confusing potential customers is not without merit."

It suggests to me that he was oversaturated with iPhone adverts to the point where he assumes any phone with any radius of corners is an iPhone. I mean really... are you suggesting that at no point in pre Apple history has a phone with that degree of cornerage been produced. There's a huge back catalogue of phones to measure there...

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El Reg BuzzFelch: 10 Electrical Connectors You CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!

MrZoolook
Angel

Curious.

I can certainly live without US or EU mains sockets, but wouldn't be too happy without UK ones. Why were those on the list and not UK?

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NASA probe orbiting Moon sights ANOTHER SPACECRAFT

MrZoolook
Meh

"...it was one of the space agency's own satellites."

Are we sure. Shouldn't we take hundreds of high-res pictures from all angles, study it on a microscopic level and take samples... Just in case it IS an alien artefact or an attempt by aliens to communicate.

I mean, this could be the most profound discovery in mankind's history, and I'd hate to see them get sued for deriliction of duty, or whatever...

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Apple and Samsung STILL in bitchfight over banning ancient mobes

MrZoolook
FAIL

Re: I wish ...

"Samsung are even open shops now, I wonder who did that first?"

Shops: Anyone before Apple existed as a company.

Mobile phone shops: T-Mobile, Three, Orange, Virgin, Carphone Warehouse (this is just in UK of course, more abroad I suspect)

If your talking about ONLY between Samsung or Apple, then yes, obviously Apple opened stores first.

In a similar vein, Apple do telecoms now. I wonder who did that first?

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Microsoft-backed lobby group demands market test of Google's proposed 'search fix'

MrZoolook

Re: Sod off, microsoft

"Bzzzzt - wrong. To use Bing and IE you just use the stuff that came with the OS. "

Uh, if I buy an Android phone does it not default to using Google for search?

-----

Uh, if you buy a Windows phone does it not default to using Bing for search?

You sir, are a hypocrite.

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Is modern life possible without a smartphone?

MrZoolook
Thumb Down

Not convinced the heart is in this ecperiment.

He has a touchscreen, calender synching, installable apps, camera, expandable memory, 64k colour screen, music player and full featured web browser.

Not a dumb phone by any stretch of the imagination.

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'I had a rare Twitter handle... I was extorted into giving it up'

MrZoolook
Coat

'What kind if repirting is this?'

'AN HP Server'????????

Its 'A HP server'.....

What kind of grammar natzism is this? If it was pronounced as the individual letters H followed by P, it would indeed be 'an HP server'.

And I'm reasonably sure it would be "It's", as in 'It is' rather then plural of it.

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UK smut filter may have sent game patch to sin-bin

MrZoolook

XBox live refused to accept...

... grapes, poop (poop deck) and prick (with a needle) on a multiplayer session of Quarrel. They are only offensive if used in a particular context. Rather like boob, jerk, and tit, all of which are allowed.

That's why this kind of filtering is a bad idea... it doesn't (censored) work, you (censored) (censored) pieces of (censored).

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Apple files foul-up-fixing patent for fumbling slab-fondling flubbers

MrZoolook
Holmes

"Do you consent to Apple charging you for the use of its new, patented, auto click correcting technology on a per click basis?"

*user clicks no*

"Our patented auto click correct technology has determined you meant to click Yes. Your first payment has been charged. Thank you!"

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Optical Express 'ruined my life' attack site wins Nominet takedown battle

MrZoolook

Re: Diamond knife, laser, finger nail..

"Now I don't need to buy contact lenses!"

... because I'm now permanantly blind!

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Suffering SPITZER! Boffins discover Milky Way's MISSING ARMS

MrZoolook

Re: Mostly Harmless

WESTERN spiral arm? Does such a concept as West exist on a galactic scale?

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