* Posts by ChrisBedford

101 posts • joined 27 Feb 2012

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Cunning goldfish avoided predator in tank for seven years

ChrisBedford
FAIL

I call BS

...on the last paragraph, "The Canadian province of Alberta has almost declared the critters an invasive species as so many of them seem to have survived being flushed down the lavatory and currently infest the region's storm drains"

1. Fact check: lavatories aren't connected to storm drains. If they were, every river would be an open sewer, and imagine what river mouths would look like.

2. If that last statement was supposed to read "...infest the regions sewers" that's even more unbelievable because the only things that can survive in a sewer is bacteria. Goldfish may be tough, but there's NO WAY they are going to survive in raw sewage.

3. Sewers (and storm drains) are not closed, static systems - they lead somewhere: rivers (and the sea, eventually) in one case and treatment plants in the other. Goldfish can't survive in salt water, either, and (depending on the treatment process) I doubt it's likely the sewerage farm will do them any good.

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ChrisBedford

I call BS

...on the last paragraph, "The Canadian province of Alberta has almost declared the critters an invasive species as so many of them seem to have survived being flushed down the lavatory and currently infest the region's storm drains"

1. Fact check: lavatories aren't connected to storm drains. If they were, every river would be an open sewer, and imagine what river mouths would look like.

2. If that last statement was supposed to read "...infest the regions sewers" that's even more unbelievable because the only things that can survive in a sewer is bacteria. Goldfish may be tough, but there's NO WAY they are going to survive in raw sewage.

3. Sewers (and storm drains) are not closed, static systems - they lead somewhere: rivers (and the sea, eventually) in one case and treatment plants in the other. Goldfish can't survive in salt water, either, and (depending on the treatment process) I doubt it's likely the sewerage farm will do them any good.

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Wake up, sheeple! If you ask Siri about 9/11 it will rat you out to the police!

ChrisBedford
Joke

Re: Which is why

"we like our feet and inches just the way they are"

I half expected you so to say "just the way God intended"

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This whopping 16-bit computer processor is being built by hand, transistor by transistor

ChrisBedford

Re: Beat the clock

"It's only 14m long. Assuming 0.7c because of the dielectric of the wires that would be 66.6ns propagation delay end-end. So you could run it under 15MHz, say 1MHz should be do-able"

Yeaaahhhh... I only know a tiny little bit about RF, so I might be talking complete rubbish here, but wouldn't there be radiation issues? I seem to remember that one of the constraints on the original IBM PC (4.77 MHz) was that pushing the clock any higher led to disproportionately high energy losses to radiation (and of course interference with your transistor radio!), and that on a printed circuit board of much less than 2 sq ft. I imagine that a 14m long assembly with lots of interconnecting cable and hand-soldered assemblies might have a slightly worse problem with that.

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Guy puts 1990s MacOS 7 on an Apple Watch – without jailbreaking it

ChrisBedford

"Of course. I remember at the time remarking how it was lucky the aliens' ships were Mac compatible when most hardware you could buy in Dixons at the time, wasn't."

Indeed. One of the two glaring plot holes in that movie -- the other that (at that time) it was 'known' that Macs were not susceptible to any significant viruses.

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Unlucky, Palmer: Facebook's going to BAN Oculus pr0n apps

ChrisBedford

Re: Was there pr0n on

"It was porn that won the war for VHS against BETA."

It was? And there was I thinking it was all about Sony not allowing 3rd party manufacturing to the Beta specs, while VHS was an open standard.

Can someone PLEASE reveal the secret to putting text into italics, bold, or blockquote in this forum? I've tried <q> [q] <quote> [quote] <blockquote> and [blockquote] all to no avail.

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What an eyeful: Apple's cut price 27in iMac with Retina Display

ChrisBedford

"I'm surprised MS with its "Let's get our software on as many devices as possible" mantra hasn't planned to bring out a version of Windows 10 that will install straight on a Mac with no need for OSX to be installed."

Eh wot?

You've been able to do that since... oh, I dunno, maybe 2007? Probably when Macs began to be based on Intel processors? I remember setting up a Mac Mini with WinXP at least 5 years ago, and it was an old Mac. It's not about Windows, but the computer's BIOS.

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For its next trick, Microsoft diminishes the iPad with just a driver

ChrisBedford

Re: Chicken WLTM egg

"When the device has lots of users, we'll target it"

Yeah. Users are waiting for you to target the device before they buy it. Like you said, chicken & egg, and someone has to stick their neck out to get the ball rolling (to mix a third metaphor in there).

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Apple MacBook 2015: Twelve inches of slim and shiny fanboi joy

ChrisBedford

Re: True

"You do know that it's not 1999 anymore, right?"

Likewise an earlier comment about "IBM clones". I wonder when last IBM made PCs, much less any PC was referred to as a "clone".

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ChrisBedford

Re: I think the idea..

"the only people who will buy this will be light users"

Sheez at £ 1,100+ they'd be pretty well-heeled light users, then.

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VOTERS! This Election: Vote #Smart, Vote #Digital

ChrisBedford

Re: OK, read the article

Yeah, same here

I at least have the excuse that I live in South Africa and the column was (apparently) deeply rooted in Brit pop culture. But I normally can at least understand the gist of El Reg articles, whereas this is just... complete gobbledegook.

Except for that reference to Russell Brand being the shadow Chancellor, I thought that was mildly amusing.

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Pi based kid-nerdifier Kano buried under freak cash avalanche

ChrisBedford

Re: Radionics`- Phillips

Philips badge-engineered just about everything they sold for decades. It would astonish me if they weren't still doing it.

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What's Meg Whitman fussing over: The fate of HP ... or the font on a DISRUPTIVE new logo?

ChrisBedford

Re: "stuck together"?

"crossbars"? There's a typographic term for those, too

Umm, yeah, maybe, but it isn't "serif". You linked to an article explaining all about serifs which you didn't actually read?

A serif is not a substantive part of the letter. It's a decoration added at one of the points of the letter. If you left off the "crossbars" of the letter "t" it wouldn't actually be a "t" any more.

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ChrisBedford

Re: thanks for that link

communal synergized cross-platform paradigm enabling entrepreneurial client focused solutions providing win-win value creation for cross-value chain stakeholders

Still laughing. Many times in my career I have been told that to make more money I have to move into business analysis - but since it comes down to being able to talk like this with a straight face that option is not open to me!

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Top Spanish minister shows citizens are thick as tortillas de ballenas

ChrisBedford

Re: Pedanting...

surveys that treat people like idiots can provoke rebellious answers. And when some surveys have trick questions[...]

Indeed. We also don't know if the results were cherry-picked to make the out come better (or worse) - I have seen some (YouTube, I guess) video "survey" answers to questions asked of American's on the streets, that made them look like utter idiots (insert obvious jibe here) but I have also seen the exact opposite: people stopped on the street who have given intelligent, informed, articulate answers. Depends who you ask, and how you ask it, and how (or if) you use the answers.

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ChrisBedford

They are no thicker than Americans, they have identical results 25% believe the sun orbits the earth

And the earth orbits Amurrica.

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ChrisBedford

Re: Not necessarily thick...

Considering how widespread internet access is these days there is not much excuse for not self-educating.

What! The Internet that is full of inaccuracies, lies, far-right conspiracy theory websites, far-left conspiracy theory websites, bigots, rubbish e-mails, IS Jihadists, and downright loonies? That Internet? You really think it's a good place for a higgerant ill-eddicated backwoodsman to learn stuff?

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ChrisBedford

Re: You need to see the questions for context

I think everyone gets that time machines aren't involved, or the probability of them being involved is infinitesimally small.

Actually I don't think everyone gets it at all. OK not the time machine part, but that was facetiousness on your part, yeah?

*PLENTY* of people (the creationist right-wing, I mean) think the theory of evolution means humans descended from chimpanzees, and no amount of talking sense to them is going to shake that belief.

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Apple will cut down 36,000 acres of forest in 'conservation scheme'

ChrisBedford

Re: it's personal

"Just don't package, hand the customer their phone, laptop, etc.

The customer puts the item in a bag, nothing goes in the bin."

You're trolling, right?

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ChrisBedford

Re: which company is worse?

"Undoubtedly HP. I have seen stuff like 4 boxes one in another to ship a _PAPER_ confirming your license."

Yup. Don't know about the 4 boxes but HP does ship sturdy double-wall corrugated boxes containing bubble-wrapped power cords. With foam-wrapped connectors.

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ChrisBedford

Re: For people who cannot they see the wood for the trees

"There's a lot of evidence to show that large areas of the Amazon [...] are in fact regrowth and less than 500 years old"

Oh well that's all right then. Cut it down, it'll grow back in another 500 years, no problem.

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Chelsea Manning sets up low-tech Twitter account from prison

ChrisBedford

Re: health care costs

It's not "blaming it on patients who cost too much". It's blaming it on an administration that has its priorities wrong.

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Privacy-loving BOXING KANGAROO BIFFS DRONE out of the sky

ChrisBedford

Re: [Frank Alpha XII] Civilian Drones vs. Military drones

"Four hellfire missiles and two 500 lb bombs cannot level a city block [...etc etc etc]"

Pedant.

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Blind justice: Google lawsuit silences elected state prosecutor

ChrisBedford

Re: i forget...

-> Marcus Aurelius: "...Hood was [...] copy/paste lawsuiting for the MPAA"

Did you not read the article? Cause I did and I didn't read that anywhere. Granted, this is after Christmas dinner but I don't think I'm that squiffy.

On what evidence do you base that assertion? Sounds to me like you are prepared to read anything you like, as long as it agrees with what you already made your mind up about.

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Kepler's STILL GOT IT! Space telescope spots SUPER-EARTH 180 light years away

ChrisBedford

"2.5 times the size of Earth"

Ho, hum, typical journalist. Is that 2.5 times the diameter, projected area, surface area, or volume?

Juxtaposed with the next sentence, "But" twelve times the mass, it doesn't really mean anything. If for instance it was diameter, and the average density was the same, you could expect its mass to be over 15 times (2.5 **3 = 15.6) that of Earth.

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Ten Linux freeware apps to feed your penguin

ChrisBedford

Shutter website requires user name & password

...without which you are screwed. What gives?

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Man asks internet for $1k for pebbles. INTERNET SAYS YES

ChrisBedford

"I'm reasonably certain that the density of water ice is greater than that of a mixture of 40% ethanol and 60% cool water"

Uh, whut?

Here's an experiment to test that hypothesis: take one cube (or any shaped, I suppose) chunk of frozen water and place in a container of a mixture of 40% ethanol and 60% cool water. Observe. Oh, wait...

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ChrisBedford

HA ha ha just keep telling yourself that

"...it is contaminates that give you a hangover"

Yeah, that's the spirit :-)

Actually, mate, it's a combination of many things, but principle amongst them is TOO MUCH ALCOHOL. No, really.

But that doesn't stop people (whisk(e)y clubs, seasoned drinkers, and others) from perpetuating myths like that. Yes, contaminates don't help you feel better in the morning, but leave out the alcohol and drink all the contaminates - including the dregs of a thousand ice trays - and you won't have a hangover. Guaranteed.

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ChrisBedford

Re: Soapstone? Really......??????

Yeahhhhhh... AFAIK there's no danger from ingesting asbestos. And in the miniscule quantities you are going to find in solid soapstone, you could doubtless grind an entire $1k pack of pebbles into dust and snort the lot without any danger of asbestosis (which, you do realise, is a respiratory ailment, right?)

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ChrisBedford

Indeed

"Every clearly hairbrained idea seems to become a success"

...as witness the first model Fiat Multipla. I have yet to see an uglier car anywhere, any time. And yet, and yet... <sigh>

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ChrisBedford

Re: Charity as a stupid lottery?

What you have described is a basic business plan. Anyone asking for donations / investment in his/her endeavour should be publishing one. If there isn't one available, STEER CLEAR because the entrepreneur in quesiton doesn't know what s/he is doing.

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UK.gov mulls three-point turn on three-point turn thanks to satnav. Weeeeeeee. THUD

ChrisBedford

All new drivers' first cars should Landies

The Defender - 110" wheel-base.

Yeah, I know - "fuel consumption", but (a) solid as a rock - it would take being hit by an artic to capsize one of those things (b) tough as nails (c) drum brakes, manual gearbox, rough-as-hell clutch and no power steering (d) well, fuel consumption - Junior is going to be driving slowly (e) availability of parts, plus of course simplicity of repair. No-one should drive a car s/he can't repair him/herself.

Does this view make me a driving Nazi? :-D

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Go festive this year with Christmas carols, baby Jesus and CLITORAL STIMULATORS

ChrisBedford

Re: NTNOCN FTW...

"Damn, can't find it on YouTube"

Oh well - will this do?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPuRA1rZuTA

Never knew Kim Wilde had a comedy side.

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BIG FAT Lies: Porky Pies about obesity

ChrisBedford

Re: That's not quite the statement

"That's not quite what is being said, that fags taxes pay for the treatment of fag related diseases (although every claim about the cost of treating smokers on the NHS is in fact lower than the amount of fag taxes collected)."

After all, it's not every smoker who has multi-million pound lung cancer treatments. So, while most if not all have some health-related issues, many get away with some relatively low-level stuff, like breathing from an oxygen bottle for the last couple of years of their lives or repeatedly having to deal with URTIs or even chronic meds for congestive heart failure, but in the long run I'd venture that the average cost of treating a smoker for smoking-related illnesses is lower than the total taxxes collected off tobacco products.

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ChrisBedford

Re: Good stuff (@ Ian Emery)

You should seriously read a book called Bad Science by Ben Goldacre.

What you are doing here is taking a sample of one and extrapolating the results to 60 million. It's so far beyond boffinry that the scientists (and anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together for warmth) wouldn't bother commenting on your experimental data.

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ChrisBedford

Re: Good stuff (@ Voland...)

Yeaaaahhh... your weight gain attributed to UK bread & jam is not exactly a scientific proof now is it though. Lots of other factors could be (and most likely ARE) at play - lifestyle and advancing age the most obvious that come to mind. I also developed a spare tyre when I turned forty, and despite working out five times a week which I didn't do in my twenties and thirties, I eat probably half what I did as a young man. And still struggle to keep those pounds off. Your body just gets better at converting carbs into blood sugar as you get older.

I forget - how did we get onto this subject? It's a bit off-topic, isn't it, since we were talking about the long-term cost (to society) of being a lard-ass. To address Tim W then, I think the point of the Kinsey (or whoever) report was that the money is "lost", irrespective of who loses it - but of course it makes much better headlines when you imply that the cost is to "the taxpayer". And of course Sky News picks up this kind of thing and Eamonn discusses it to death without actually questioning the source of the information. Makes for spectacular (if inaccurate) headlines.

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I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm

ChrisBedford

[q]I got as far as " frigging earth of ours" before the words all blurred in to Chinese, any one else do better?[/q]

My eyes went over the text, my brain did the OCR, but... yeah, still Chinese.

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FTC tells 'scan to email' patent troll: Every breath you take, every lie you make, I'll be fining you

ChrisBedford

What's the difference between a patent troll & a carp?

One of them is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker, and the other is a fish.

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Time to test your sarcasm detectors: It's the UN's global comms shakeup extravaganza!

ChrisBedford

Good job they weren't handing out any Captain Obvious awards

'telecommunications has "brought about great changes and made it possible to share knowledge in all areas of human lives including politics, the economy, society and culture."'

Luckily it hasn't brought about any change in sheeple's gullibility, narcissim, or bigotry, which has meant websites like hoaxkill and snopes have had a great couple of decades.

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US court SHUTS DOWN 'scammers posing as Microsoft, Facebook support staff'

ChrisBedford

Re: A start - just

"In one case I can recall from the 1990s, the FTC went after a UK fax spammer for over $50 million - and got enforcement via UK courts. [...] That they got a USA boiler room operation is good - and it's an indicator that they're taking it seriously"

Talking about one case from maybe 20 years ago, you think that means they are taking it seriously? Looks more like tokenism to me.

"The interesting thing is that much of the "indian" boiler room operation is financed and coordinated from the USA and/or UK, so this may well have done more damage than a casual reader may suspect."

Well we can only hope so. But India is probably the most technologically and socially advanced (and high profile) of the countries that are hosting these scum - what about the others? Of the calls I have received (when the caller ID isn't suppressed or faked) I have seen international dialling codes indicating obscure places like countries ending in -stan (really don't remember which country it actually was. Kazakstan? Dunno). How is the FCC ever going to go after people like that? Assuming that even that was not a faked number, what about all the call centres that suppress their numbers - who's ever going to trace those calls? Sadly, it really doesn't work like in the movies, with big-screen displays on the wall showing red lines pointing to the point of origin on a world map...

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Here's your chance to buy an ancient, working APPLE ONE

ChrisBedford

Re: But will an Apple Hater step up to the plate?

Those Apple-haters?

Those trolls, yes.

Then, after a long, and, it must be admitted, faintly amusing rant that has (tenuous) roots in reality, and a propos of nothing in particular,

You have to separate out the business of screwing people out of their money from the marvel of technological innovation - two completely different things.

As far as I am aware, Apple has never really been about the marvel of technological innovation (well, to be fair, very few consumer boxes ever are) - Jobs stated, openly, and more often than can be counted, that the company philosphy was to start with the user experience and engineer backwards to create the product. So, product innovation (iPod, iTunes store, iPad, OSX, etc etc etc) but not really technological innovation. I don't see any shame in that.

And if it happens to end up costing more, and people are prepared to pay more for better quality of manufacture and a more rewarding experience, then well done Apple. No point in ranting about it.

No, I'm not a fanboi. Far from it, my only Apple product is an iPhone 4S. I just admire decent quality kit when I see it. I get just as frustrated with some of the Apple configuration options as I do with some of the Windows interface "quirks", but I do hate Android with a passion. They went too far in the other direction with the configuation options in that, and I still can't type a coherent text message or email in that awful abomination.

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10 Top Tips For PRs Considering Whether To Phone The Register

ChrisBedford

Re: Number seven

The aggro started when they then asked 'How are you today?'

Call centre drones in South Africa (and I have no reason to believe this is a uniquely South African trait, since we slavishly follow whatever's "trending") reply to the (expected) response 'I'm fine thanks and you' with the squirm-inducing 'I'm very well, thank you for asking'. Obviously someone (probably in telemarketing PR) has instilled the philosophy that obsequiousness is the same as politeness, or that grovelling makes sales, or something.

My standard response is therefore, 'I'm fine'. If the drone then tells me he's 'fine, thank you f- ' I forcefully interrupt and tell him/her I didn't ask. This will, without fail, cause them to stumble and lose their place in the script. At that point, firmly believing you should always kick a man when he's down, I start barking, 'Well, what do you want?'. Usually a recipe for being able to get them to look forward to ending the conversation.

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ChrisBedford

Re: Confession - OED

"I pride myself on rarely needing to refer to an oracle, because I know my language."

Hmm, I pride myself on not being a pompous ass, so I try to look things up before pontificating on them.

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Apple iPhone 6: Looking good, slim. AW... your battery died

ChrisBedford

Re: How much?

"But is it really any better - really - than a top-end Android phone? Both make calls, send texts and emails; both run the same batch of common apps; both attract desperate fandom; and both are now mature products."

Yes, it really is. I had a Galaxy phone for 14 months - a decision I truly regretted for every hateful minute I had to use it. Eventually I got an opportunity to buy an iPhone 4S and have been married to it ever since (it's far more faithful and cooperative and user-friendly than my actual wife ever was).

Android was so full of stupid, unnecessary, and counter-intuitive options I was constantly frustrated at trying to set anything, the predictive text came up with the *THE* stupidest choices, and as for that unblievably kludged mess of garbage they call "Kies", the less said the better (I see it's now even bigger and slower than it was two years ago). About half my contacts were duplicated, some of them triplicated and quadrupled, while others were wiped and lost forever (from phone and PC). Yes I know there are a lot of ways of "personalising" the phone interface to "improve" it - all way too hard to install and set up (back to the plethora of options thing). Who's got time to sit messing with their phone when all they want to do is get it working? In fact at a breakfast seminar one day I was bitching about how crap the phone was when some Android convert started preaching "yes but that's because you haven't got {insert name here} installed". I gave him the thing and told him to go mad - well quite frankly the change was minimal and if anything the predictive text and typing experiences were slightly worse.

Got the iPhone, connected it to my PC, synchronised calendar and contacts, sold the Galaxy, and have never looked back.

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Surprise: if you work from home you need the Internet

ChrisBedford

Re: Washing ton Post

"The more likely explanation is that nobody will put the investment into a GPON service into a neighborhood with a low GDP in the first place."

Exactly. I'd state it more emphatically, not "likely" but "obvious".

The original statement might as well have read "suburbs where the roads were wetter, were found to have had rain".

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Reg bloke zips through an iPHONE 6 queue from ZERO to 60 SECONDS

ChrisBedford

Re: call that a queue?

[quote]100,000 people line up to see a soccer game - it's just another game.

100 people line up to buy a phone - it's international news[/quote]

Umm yeah - When last did you see people queueing for a week - or even 12 hours - for a game of footie?

In fact who actually queues up to buy a ticket at the game? Doesn't everyone buy them in advance and just walk right in to the stadium? I sincerely doubt anything like even one-tenth of 100,000 people ever stand in a queue (even when you add up all the queues at 20 entrances to a stadium) of any sort, at any time, at any stadium, anywhere, ever.

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ChrisBedford

Re: It's the beginning of the end - you're confused

<quote>When people start referring to a photo of a person or persons taken by a third party as a "selfie"</quote>

No I think you missed the point, and so did 27 people who upvoted your post. The pair /went on/ to take selfies, /that photo/ wasn't the selfie, nor did ITV say it was.

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You'll find Yoda at the back of every IT conference

ChrisBedford

Re: Summoner's Tale

"Clearly it should of read Ten Summoners Tale's. One tale, multiple tale's. Simple's"

Your rite. No waisted grammar hear!

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ChrisBedford

Re: Summoner's Tale

@Dabbsy: "It may be "proper" but it is still "questionable". In terms of grammatical pedantry, "Ten Summoner's Tales" is correct. It is, however, questionable: despite being attractively concise in its three words, "Ten Summoner's Tales" is an awkward way of both (1) declaring that there is such a thing as a Summoner's Tale and (2) that there are ten of them."

ehhhhh... OK

I think that puts your grammatical nazism a bit to the right of mine though ;-)

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ChrisBedford

Re: Ten Summoner’s Tales

Umm, Dabbsy - not to heckle too much here, but... the name Sumner comes directly from the occupation Summoner. It's a contraction (yeh, without an apostrophe) that happened somewhere in Olde Englande or whatever - Sting actually explained it at the time the album was released.

In fact there's nothing wrong with the punctuation of the album title, it tells you there are 10 tales from one summoner.

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