876 posts • joined 11 Feb 2012
"Exactly... wait, what does that mean?"
What he said in English: "Something is different and we have no clue".
Re: Interesting ...
Why bother? Amazon already knows all about you and has sent a squadron of drone "delivery" vehicles to your mountain bunker to deal with you.
Re: Not a moon...
Don't worry, its just a tumor. May even be benign....
Re: me thinks dirty tricks are a foot
"at last something we can all get for free without the fear that the greedy burgers at APPLE won't be trying to get a chunk of wonga by slapping a writ on it."
Wrong. They're going to sue the moon for trademark infringement - for a while the moon did look suspiciously like an apple with a bite taken out of it.
...worse than a colonoscopy
"Probe's nearly all the way in ... no backdoor hit yet"
At least with the colonoscopy the doctors find your backdoor *before* inserting the probe.
Solar powered drones? Internet? Killer robots?
ok, i'll switch to decaf...
Re: out of touch with their user base
Hey, it worked for Microsoft...
"I could do with something to make it harder for people to contact me and to quieten my phone down a little bit. "
Epoxy works too.
"Unless of course you know about some another, for the moment unknown OS that doesn't require updates and that works perfectly everytime. Please share the secret with the rest of us."
Bloody Stupid Linux
Because functional is boring...
Re: I shall make a sacrifice
I shall sacrifice a cabbage to the Great God of Goose Doody.
Has nothing to do with the launch, I just don't like cabbage.
Re: Great idea !
"Until video's of someone's proctology exam show up on YouTube"
Only a real Asshole... er, Glasshole would do that.
Re: "not all Apple users are like that !"
Yes, actually, they are
If you stay below the MMT it ain't so bad
Windows is much more secure if you stay below the MMT (Maximum Microsoft Threshold). This means no Microsoft Office or Flight Simulator and using XPLite to uninstall all the stuff "welded" to the OS that you don't need for your applications. This also means uninstalling Notepad, Wordpad, Calculator,Minesweeper, Solitaire and Windows Media Player and replacing them with any of the free replacements out there.
What you end up with after all this is the equivalent of a Linux PC that can run Portable Apps.
Re: But Photoshop it ain't!
You say that like its a Bad Thing.
Re: planned obsolescence [...] Planet Linux does it too
There's always Rat Poison.
Re: Boring Read
"They're all quite dreadful."
And I feel better about myself after reading them.
BTW, I'm not very nice (in case you haven't noticed)...
Re: Ya'll be back now
What is this "China" you speak of?
Re: And how much wifi info did it slurp on the way round?
I wouldn't want even one GoPro attached to my bottom....
Re: "It did a lap around the world in 22 days,..."
That was back in the olden days. Modern days last longer which is why things get done faster.
"Those who decide to remain on the Windows XP platform will be pretty much defenceless against these attacks unless third-party security solutions, such as....."
Blah blah blah we're all going to die (NOT)
Cut out the crap and the OS is actually not bad.
Re: What the blazes?
Same here! Gentlemen, we have one very busy wife....
"I have no idea what this means"
Marzipan toilet duck-rub. There, does that clear things up?
> HP (Half Pathetic)
HP (Hugely Pathetic)
Re: China = SpaceBalls?
Re: It's not that hard.
No, but it is annoying to have to keep de-crapifying Gmail every time Google wants to tack some new shit on to it.
Re: Sad but only in America
"Then we completed the falling out by not going to Church on a Sunday."
Texas is not part of the United States. Don't know how we wound up with LBJ and Dubya, maybe someone changed the law about having to be born a citizen to be Prez. I suppose we'll end up with Arnie in the White House soon....
"several prominent web developers"
You mean two guys no one has heard of that have a start-up that almost makes a product.
Setting the bar pretty low, El Reg...
Re: So, the future is like, two days?
Nope, 20 minutes. Just like Max Headroom.
Re: the Segway was just a bad idea
Anything George W. Bush can fall off can't be all bad.
Re: I'm sure you were railing against something@Nick Ryan
"Who says the Reg commentards are bunch of dirty keyboarded tripehounds?"
Reg commentards, thats who...
Re: They're missing a trick
You can lower your weight and blood pressure while lowering your carbon footprint too.
We need a propeller-head icon...
Gotta be a Tiger Team
Tiger Teams are better...
sensitive data might leak
What is it going to do? Ooze out of the stress cracks that form in the case due to overheating?
Re: Why would you even have wheels fitted to your bog?
Wheels make it a porta-potty....
And when there's enough water vapor it rains, so it should really be called Microsoft Cold Shower...
Re: You forgot to say, "Pip! Pip! Cheery-oh."
Blimey, those Merkins sure are base nosepickers.
Oh, wait, I'm a Merkin.
Yep, so much better than BSOD.
Re: What a career!
"operationalized an emergent reimagining of corporate communications, materializing meaningful cognizant evolutions in the conceptual metaspaces of user consciousness."
Dude, self-inflicted brain damage is not a good way to get attention...
"hmm, condoms? Reuse?"
Jake Blues saved his...
Re: So what is the correct unit in the Register's System
I suppose next you'll be yammering about the average airspeed velocity and lifting capacity of the European swallow vs. the African swallow....
Re: So what is the correct unit in the Register's System
But what is the area in Jimmy Wales?
Re: Not Hodder & Stoughton...
"How does this God person poo anyway?"
Didn't you ever wonder where comets come from?
Re: Hang on a second
"A blonde female came up and .....spoke to you?!?
and we're supposed to believe this all happened....in a Pub?"
Happened to me once. Only once :(
Re: Massive Cock
Wangoptimus Prime, FTFY...
Re: In other news,
"Are you suggesting that the wide-spread availability of the pill from the mid-1970's increased teen pregnancy..."
No, the increase in teen pregnancy was due to the increase in teen f#%king...
Re: Why don't they try making something new, and original.
Haven't you heard? There are no new ideas, been that way since sometime in the 80's
Re: You can't secure against stupidity.
You can with enough concrete...
"Are Hangouts, Search, Docs, etc. in running on the same server?"
Yes, they are running on an original IBM AT in the back corner...
"I seriously doubt that Windows 8 developers were taken off the project to work on this."
With Microsoft you can never be sure...
Gotta give it a better name
I vote for "Lumpy".
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