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* Posts by Euripides Pants

876 posts • joined 11 Feb 2012

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What's a right pain in the ASCII for IBM? Its own leech-like hardware biz

Euripides Pants
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"Exactly... wait, what does that mean?"

What he said in English: "Something is different and we have no clue".

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Amazon wires up email-to-Kindle to its gigantic online hard drive

Euripides Pants
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Black Helicopters

Re: Interesting ...

"AC obviously"

Why bother? Amazon already knows all about you and has sent a squadron of drone "delivery" vehicles to your mountain bunker to deal with you.

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New FEMTO-MOON sighted BIRTHING from Saturn's RING

Euripides Pants
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Re: Not a moon...

Don't worry, its just a tumor. May even be benign....

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Live coverage: Blood Moon looms large for North, South America

Euripides Pants
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Joke

Re: me thinks dirty tricks are a foot

"at last something we can all get for free without the fear that the greedy burgers at APPLE won't be trying to get a chunk of wonga by slapping a writ on it."

Wrong. They're going to sue the moon for trademark infringement - for a while the moon did look suspiciously like an apple with a bite taken out of it.

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TrueCrypt audit: Probe's nearly all the way in ... no backdoor hit yet

Euripides Pants
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...worse than a colonoscopy

"Probe's nearly all the way in ... no backdoor hit yet"

At least with the colonoscopy the doctors find your backdoor *before* inserting the probe.

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Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace

Euripides Pants
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Terminator

Solar powered drones? Internet? Killer robots?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! SKYNET!!!!!

ok, i'll switch to decaf...

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Spy-happy Condoleezza Rice joins Dropbox board as privacy adviser

Euripides Pants
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Joke

Re: out of touch with their user base

Hey, it worked for Microsoft...

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Facebook splats in-app chat, whacks brats into crack yakety-yak app

Euripides Pants
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"I could do with something to make it harder for people to contact me and to quieten my phone down a little bit. "

Epoxy works too.

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Uh oh! Here comes the first bug in the Windows 8.1 Update

Euripides Pants
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Linux

Re: lol

"Unless of course you know about some another, for the moment unknown OS that doesn't require updates and that works perfectly everytime. Please share the secret with the rest of us."

Bloody Stupid Linux

http://clockwatching.net/~fin/bsl/

Because functional is boring...

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LOHAN's Punch and Judy show relaunches Thursday

Euripides Pants
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Re: I shall make a sacrifice

I shall sacrifice a cabbage to the Great God of Goose Doody.

Has nothing to do with the launch, I just don't like cabbage.

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Google woos enterprise developers with 'Glass at Work' program

Euripides Pants
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Re: Great idea !

"Until video's of someone's proctology exam show up on YouTube"

Only a real Asshole... er, Glasshole would do that.

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Internet is a TOOL OF SATAN that destroys belief, study claims

Euripides Pants
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Trollface

Re: "not all Apple users are like that !"

Yes, actually, they are

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Win XP usage down but not out as support cutoff deadline looms

Euripides Pants
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If you stay below the MMT it ain't so bad

Windows is much more secure if you stay below the MMT (Maximum Microsoft Threshold). This means no Microsoft Office or Flight Simulator and using XPLite to uninstall all the stuff "welded" to the OS that you don't need for your applications. This also means uninstalling Notepad, Wordpad, Calculator,Minesweeper, Solitaire and Windows Media Player and replacing them with any of the free replacements out there.

What you end up with after all this is the equivalent of a Linux PC that can run Portable Apps.

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Euripides Pants
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Re: But Photoshop it ain't!

You say that like its a Bad Thing.

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Nothing's as SCARY as an overly aggressive SOFTWARE PIMP

Euripides Pants
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Re: planned obsolescence [...] Planet Linux does it too

There's always Rat Poison.

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Euripides Pants
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Devil

Re: Boring Read

"They're all quite dreadful."

And I feel better about myself after reading them.

BTW, I'm not very nice (in case you haven't noticed)...

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Windows Phone 8.1: Like WinPho 8, but BETTER

Euripides Pants
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WTF?

Re: Ya'll be back now

What is this "China" you speak of?

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Google's SWOLLEN WINDBAGS circle PLANET, dispensing INTERWEBS

Euripides Pants
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Coat

Re: And how much wifi info did it slurp on the way round?

I wouldn't want even one GoPro attached to my bottom....

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Euripides Pants
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Boffin

Re: "It did a lap around the world in 22 days,..."

That was back in the olden days. Modern days last longer which is why things get done faster.

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Final Windows XP Patch Tuesday will plug Word RTF vuln

Euripides Pants
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Windows

Defenseless?

"Those who decide to remain on the Windows XP platform will be pretty much defenceless against these attacks unless third-party security solutions, such as....."

Blah blah blah we're all going to die (NOT)

http://www.litepc.com/

https://www.grc.com/default.htm

Cut out the crap and the OS is actually not bad.

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Euripides Pants
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Re: What the blazes?

Same here! Gentlemen, we have one very busy wife....

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Boffins make noise about D-Wave chip: it seems quantum

Euripides Pants
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Boffin

"I have no idea what this means"

Marzipan toilet duck-rub. There, does that clear things up?

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Apple: You're a copycat! Samsung: This is really about Google, isn't it?

Euripides Pants
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Re: Meh

> HP (Half Pathetic)

HP (Hugely Pathetic)

There, FTFY...

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Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air

Euripides Pants
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Re: China = SpaceBalls?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiabeNR_q0U

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That's it, we're all really OLD: Google's Gmail is 10 ALREADY

Euripides Pants
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FAIL

Re: It's not that hard.

No, but it is annoying to have to keep de-crapifying Gmail every time Google wants to tack some new shit on to it.

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OkCupid falls out of love with 'anti-gay' Firefox, tells people to see other browsers

Euripides Pants
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Thumb Down

Re: Sad but only in America

"Then we completed the falling out by not going to Church on a Sunday."

Texas is not part of the United States. Don't know how we wound up with LBJ and Dubya, maybe someone changed the law about having to be born a citizen to be Prez. I suppose we'll end up with Arnie in the White House soon....

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Euripides Pants
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"several prominent web developers"

You mean two guys no one has heard of that have a start-up that almost makes a product.

Setting the bar pretty low, El Reg...

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A storage press release FROM the FUTURE

Euripides Pants
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Re: So, the future is like, two days?

Nope, 20 minutes. Just like Max Headroom.

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Play Mario using just your EYES as Google Glass gets JavaScript

Euripides Pants
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Re: the Segway was just a bad idea

Anything George W. Bush can fall off can't be all bad.

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Raised £350bn in crowdsourced funding? Tell me about it (not)

Euripides Pants
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FAIL

Re: I'm sure you were railing against something@Nick Ryan

"Who says the Reg commentards are bunch of dirty keyboarded tripehounds?"

Reg commentards, thats who...

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Boffins power wearable tech with body static

Euripides Pants
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Re: They're missing a trick

You can lower your weight and blood pressure while lowering your carbon footprint too.

We need a propeller-head icon...

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SEC mulls how to save markets from hackers: How about a CRACK TEAM... of advisers?

Euripides Pants
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Gotta be a Tiger Team

Tiger Teams are better...

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Hackers force innocent mobes to join ALTCOIN MINING GANGS

Euripides Pants
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WTF?

sensitive data might leak

What is it going to do? Ooze out of the stress cracks that form in the case due to overheating?

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Dear Reg: What is a 'Lag' and a 'Jacksey'?

Euripides Pants
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Boffin

Re: Why would you even have wheels fitted to your bog?

Wheels make it a porta-potty....

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The plot to kill Google cloud: We'll rename Windows Azure to MICROSOFT Azure

Euripides Pants
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And when there's enough water vapor it rains, so it should really be called Microsoft Cold Shower...

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Euripides Pants
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Joke

Re: You forgot to say, "Pip! Pip! Cheery-oh."

Blimey, those Merkins sure are base nosepickers.

Oh, wait, I'm a Merkin.

...nevermind

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Euripides Pants
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Re: ASOD

Yep, so much better than BSOD.

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Euripides Pants
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Re: What a career!

"operationalized an emergent reimagining of corporate communications, materializing meaningful cognizant evolutions in the conceptual metaspaces of user consciousness."

Dude, self-inflicted brain damage is not a good way to get attention...

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Stop fondling that slab and shag, says lover rubber-glover

Euripides Pants
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"hmm, condoms? Reuse?"

Jake Blues saved his...

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Middle England's allotments become metric battlefield

Euripides Pants
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Joke

Re: So what is the correct unit in the Register's System

I suppose next you'll be yammering about the average airspeed velocity and lifting capacity of the European swallow vs. the African swallow....

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Euripides Pants
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Trollface

Re: So what is the correct unit in the Register's System

But what is the area in Jimmy Wales?

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How to Poo on a Date wins odd book title of the year

Euripides Pants
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Re: Not Hodder & Stoughton...

"How does this God person poo anyway?"

Didn't you ever wonder where comets come from?

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They want me to install CCTV to see what YOU did in the TOILET

Euripides Pants
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Re: Hang on a second

"A blonde female came up and .....spoke to you?!?

and we're supposed to believe this all happened....in a Pub?"

Happened to me once. Only once :(

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GIANT FLESH-EATING DEVIL CHICKENS roamed North Dakota

Euripides Pants
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Re: Massive Cock

"Wangoptimus surely?"

Wangoptimus Prime, FTFY...

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MPs urge UK.gov to use 1950s obscenity law to stifle online stiffies

Euripides Pants
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Boffin

Re: In other news,

"Are you suggesting that the wide-spread availability of the pill from the mid-1970's increased teen pregnancy..."

No, the increase in teen pregnancy was due to the increase in teen f#%king...

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Star Wars movie to start shooting in UK this summer

Euripides Pants
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Re: Why don't they try making something new, and original.

Haven't you heard? There are no new ideas, been that way since sometime in the 80's

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Hidden 'Windigo' UNIX ZOMBIES are EVERYWHERE

Euripides Pants
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Happy

Re: You can't secure against stupidity.

You can with enough concrete...

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Google hit by Monday morning blues: Talk, Hangouts, Sheets crash

Euripides Pants
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Boffin

Re: Monolithic?

"Are Hangouts, Search, Docs, etc. in running on the same server?"

Yes, they are running on an original IBM AT in the back corner...

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Not sure if you're STILL running Windows XP? AmIRunningXP.com to the rescue!

Euripides Pants
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Windows

Re: Sigh

"I seriously doubt that Windows 8 developers were taken off the project to work on this."

With Microsoft you can never be sure...

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Forget superstars, this HYPERGIANT star is 1,300 times the size of OUR SUN

Euripides Pants
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Gotta give it a better name

I vote for "Lumpy".

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