648 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012
...how to take a shower very, very quickly.
<<< His face after taking a shower too slowly.
"Dog and pony show" ... "Steak pie arrived without any meat in it"
Probably for the best, given the likely source of the meat.
"Thus the IPCC appears to be designed for a bygone age."
And yet my energy bill and flight costs make me want to weep, and are likely to do so for the foreseeable future.
It's all Nick Clegg's fault (this is a facetious comment, so calm down, lentil-eating sandalistas).
So ... you're a loyal customer then?
New Government Site is Shit Shocker
Is it Groundhog Day already?
(although it's the first new site in a while not to fall over 5 minutes after going live - which is a pretty piss-poor measure of success)
F*ck me. Who said crime didn't pay.
And I bet they only recover a teeny weeny proportion of the cash. Someone, somewhere, probably on a private island with a volcano and a diminutive manservant, is very happy indeed.
'bid to wrestle control of internet' stalled by asterisk
Good old Getafix and his magic potion.
'Course it's not "real science". No airships, no robots, no doomsday devices, no jet packs.
Hawking is of no use whatsoever in the field of
mad real science.
Any sensible company would be at Google's gate, cap in hand, asking for those nice maps back, pretty please. However, I think Tim Cook would rather burn the company to the ground before doing that.
I'd love to be a fly on the wall of the chocolate factory's mapping department. They must be loving this.
1) Consulting the world? I was unaware the moon sported a thriving ecosystem, or that the rocket would be chock full of diamonds on the return journey. I thought it was a boring dusty place. It's not like the mission is setting up a mining colony (although that would be cool).
2) Financial issues/technical issues? Fair enough.
3) Not safe? Please sign this waiver after signing your cheque. Or sign them the other way around, we're pretty relaxed about that.
4) Political issues? Given the mess the Chinese and Russians make of their own back yard, I can't see them giving a rat's ass about some dusty footprints on the moon. If they manage to get your Russian billionaire that close to the Apollo 11 landing site, then fair play, but by then it's much too late for the 'merkins to get all huffy.
5) Things will go wrong? No sh*t Sherlock. You pays your money and you takes your chance.
"I've tried turning the computer screen to face the printer, but the computer can't see the printer."
That one's been around since god was a teenager.
Re: Ok, that shows that
The unwashed masses are clearly less discerning that your good self.
Personally, I'd rather watch Thor than The Artist any day of the week, pleb that I am.
My fuzzy 80's memory tells me that Gibson used (coined?) the term 'black ice' for illegal software that could KILL YOU. It caused some sort of lethal neural feedback through your head jack.
This is no more black ice than a spud gun is a howitzer.
Now I get it!!
The reason we've never seen aliens is that, instead of building interstellar craft utilising esoteric drive technology, they're all chillin' on the beach with an ice cold alien beer.
Fair play, alien dudes, fair play.
Re: Good article
Lost? Pfff. Those are years of enlightenment.
They're suppressing the data!
If you speed up the changes in the magnetic flux, then play it backwards, you get rickrolled. The pandimensional overlords of the universe are a bit behind the times, joke-wise, but you'd be a fool to point that out.
Yes, but they seem to have caught the 'mummy knows best' mentality from the last lot.
A few brave souls have stuck to their principles (David Davis) and have been labelled 'courageous' i.e. 'you're on your own, sunshine' by the party leaders.
At least ID cards have stayed dead.
Surely an intriguing name for any girl, especially one with an unusually shaped piece of their anatomy...
The first person (apart from me)...
...to mention Horses, Batteries, or Staples should get a special "obvious post of the day" badge.
Way out of this
You know, if Samsung and HTC diverted some resources into properly manning the US Patent Office, and manning it clueful people, they'd be quids-in over the long term.
Re: This is a handy service for all sections of the community to use!
1. "Gimp", not "Slave"
2. A paper ball gag will not last long, unless you plan out making your gimp eat it
Yeah, well my quasar kicks your quasars ass in gamma ray output.
I hope the new phones come with Clippy, everyone's favourite little metallic friend.
My productivity at work has plummeted since he was decommissioned. Although the internet might have had something to do with that.
Does it matter?
Of course it does. Any market dominated by a single player is bad for consumers, and bad for innovation.
Seems to be good for patents, though...
Android users are smart enough to use Wifi.
Yeah, he sold the Atari business for $26m to Warner in 1976 (and that's when $26m was worth something). He got booted out a few years later after falling out with the new owners.
Obvious, innit. Why do you think Mother Nature gave us TWO eyes.
He could make all the sales meetings with zero travel if someone came up with a videoconferencing system that wasn't UTTER F*CKING B*LLOCKS.
This is to the iPad what Halo is to the xbox, Uncharted is to the PS3, and Mario is to the Wii.
It would be the greatest comeback since Lazarus
RIP Sid Waddell.
I wasn't trying to suggest that piracy is good, but that learning that people can track what you're viewing, who you're talking to, and what you're saying is a very important lesson. This applies to ill thought out comments on Facebook or political criticism on another forum, both of which are real issues which can severely impact a young person's life and happiness.
When people can search your house on the grounds you tried and failed to download £1-worth of music in Finland - a relatively liberal country - the implications for less enlightened regimes comes sharply into focus.
For the record I think piracy is wrong. I also think that enabling something is a long, long way from doing it.
On the upside...
This sort of thing will hopefully motivate millions of kids to:
a. understand the importance of online privacy
b. research and implement online anonymity.
Which, in my view, would be a very, very good thing.
French sail-powered hydrofoil known as the ‘Hydroptère’
While we have now beaten the French (hurrah, three cheers for blighty, etc), the Hydroptère is a truly beautiful piece of engineering, much prettier than Sailrocket 2. And a proper ocean-going vessel to boot.
We might see a sensible settlement.
After which I'm sure Apple and Samsung will kiss and make up, hold hands, and skip off happily into the sunset together.
Oh look, a porcine aviator...
Speaking of Kickstarter
Apologies - this is tangentially on-topic at best.
I see that funding of the new Elite game has ground to a halt. This rather comical chart on Kicktraq tells the story (ignore Kicktraq forecasts, they're useless unless you have smooth income. I'd guess they're going to come in well south of a million, meaning nothing happens.
Real shame, mostly because of the daft prices (£30 for a PC game on Kickstarter, delivered who-knows when?! £15 just to reserve your commanders name!). Bitten by their own greed, sadly. Shame, shame, shame.
Sorry, third world, you need to STAY POOR
Seems jolly unfair to suggest that developing countries should stop their industrialisation, and the third world should stay undeveloped, just so the west can retain their standard of living.
'Cos realistically that's the only way CO2 production is going to stabilise and fall. Not going to happen, is it...
Re: Needs more work
"it would seem more work is needed before this actually turns into a useful technology"
Well that wins the "No Sh*t Sherlock" award for the day. You'd have scoffed at the Wright Brothers too, I'd imagine.
Which end of the femur did she use? Inquiring minds need to know.
(and seriously, am I really the first to use this icon? poor show, commentards)
Re: It's a kg!
kg not Kg; K is for Kelvin
Re: It gets weirder...
Bubba the Love Sponge released the tape, that is. Not Petraeus.
It gets weirder...
He was the one who released the Hulk Hogan sex tape. He left Hogan and his wife after sanctioning the tryst, but failed to tell either of them about the camera.
We need a "Twilight Zone" icon.
He has a brain virus
You don't need crappy antivirus software to work that out.
Madness I tell you
Sounds like the perfect way to breed a poison-tolerant rat.
And wait four times as long as it takes a proper charger to do the job?!
I think not.
You could use the reflectivity to your advantage. Make a parabola and have the finest cigarette lighter known to man (assuming it's sunny).
Those under the legal age will of course resort the time-honoured tradition of frying ants.
You're still trying to make this political?
(And doesn't "Torries" play for Chelsea?)
£50 for 24Gb
Did you see that, Apple? Did you? Huh, HUH?
- Twitter: La la la, we have not heard of any NUDE JLaw, Upton SELFIES
- China: You, Microsoft. Office-Windows 'compatibility'. You have 20 days to explain
- Apple to devs: NO slurping users' HEALTH for sale to Dark Powers
- Is that a 64-bit ARM Warrior in your pocket? No, it's MIPS64
- Apple 'fesses up: Rejected from the App Store, dev? THIS is why