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* Posts by FartingHippo

682 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012

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Entire Reg readership would fill 205 Olympic-sized swimming pools

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

Re: Play hard to get

"Laid head-to-toe" is also about 0.75m out of the optimum position, which of course involves a 50% overlap...

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Japanese boffins tout infrared specs to thwart facial recognition

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Re: Lo-tech alternative

I'm guessing you just used paint during Movember, thinking nobody would know the difference. (Hint: they did)

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FartingHippo
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Coat

Re: You'd

They might catch on, but they are useless. This is clearly shown by the perfectly clear picture of the boffin in his operational Buck Rogers glasses. Mmmm, Wilma....

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WTF is... Weightless?

FartingHippo
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Alert

Doomed from the start

I give it 3 months before the fridge is sending the cooker pictures of kittens milk cartons saying "can i haz cream". The cooker wont notice, as it's spending all it's time looking at utensil porn.

And thus the internet's remaining bandwidth will shrivel and die.

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'End of passwords' predictions are premature - Cambridge boffin

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Re: Biometrics?

"So, a laptop with a fingerprint scanner is less secure than one with just a password. The attacher can choose which method to attack, there is no protection from a poor password AND there is the opportunity to try a gummy finger cast or other false fingerprint method."

1. Less secure - I don't think so. The typed password should be a back-up, only used in the event of a hardware failure. As it's a backup then usability constraints can be dumped in favour of security: a 30-character random string which you keep on a bit of paper in a locked drawer (or under your mattress if you like). Hopefully you'll never have to use it for the life of the laptop. String length and complexity of backup should IMO be mandatory (again, usability is secondary), to stop the password morons doing their usual thing. Financial losses by password morons hit everyone - you don't think the banks just suck up the loss, do you?

2. Gummy finger casts don't work with the new vein scanners, thankfully, leaving bolt-cutters as the only realistic alternative for a crook. This is still better than a Minority Report or Demolition Man style eye removal.

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Wanna really insult someone? Log off and yell it in the street - gov

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: Oh good, can I have a couple of neighbours arrested.

Ouch!

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NRA: Video games kill people, not guns. And here's our video game

FartingHippo
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Re: Video games, the media and Obama’s budget kill people

"desalinization to violence"

That's why gamers love Pringles.

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FartingHippo
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Thumb Up

Re: Anyone Seen Thank You For Smoking ?

+1 for reminding me of a great film

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IBM brains ponder universe, say kids will go nuts for STEAMPUNK

FartingHippo
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Boffin

So, those new airships...

It's all starting to make sense now. Next up, EMP-resistant clockwork battle-droids.

The icon is wearing aviator goggles, natch.

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Zuck on that! Instagram loses HALF its hipsters in a month

FartingHippo
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Alert

Obligatory xkcd

As usual, hits the nail on the head.

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'Better than Adobe' Foxit PDF plugin hit by worse-than-Adobe 0-day

FartingHippo
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Meh

Re: Does it affect the Foxit standalone reader?

Thought I'd switch from Foxit to Sumatra, but the fugly 1998-style website didn't fill me with confidence. All looked a bit two-bit for my taste, although Sumatra's focus on simplicity was good, avoiding all the security pitfalls of over-complication. Hmmm, on second thoughts, there may be a theme here that bears further inspection. To be continued...

In any case, props to Krzysztof Kowalczyk, Sumatra's author, for his vowel-aversion.

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Time has already run out for smart watches

FartingHippo
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Some confusion here

I think a lot of the comments here are confusing "geek cool" with "fashion cool". Yeah, there's some overlap, as we saw with the iPhone in it's earlier incarnations, but on the whole they are very different things.

Now, personally, I would view a detailed 1:72 scale model of Serenity as pretty darn cool. However, 95% of the population would strongly disagree. It should come as no surprise that the 5% are disproportionately represented here.

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Manning was 'illegally punished', will get 112 days lopped off any sentence

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Re: Let's face it...

Congrats, you win a shiny new tinfoil hat.

[by which I mean, i really, really, really hope you're wrong]

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FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Uhm....

Why, they didn't upset the important people, of course.

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Ruby off the Rails: Enormo security hole puts 240k sites at risk

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Re: More like...

Er, did you not read the article's title. It's the bit in the big font.

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Reg Hardware Awards Best of 2012: VOTING NOW OPEN

FartingHippo
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Working fine for me too.

Apple are going to walk away with the laptop of the year, as the voting for the rest of the field will not so much be split as splintered.

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Wireless charger posse smacks down rival in EXPLICIT video

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Wireless charging the easy way

1. Fit a small, fold-out wind turbine to every phone.

2. Blow (or switch on the desk fan).

Oh, bugger, I can't patent that now, can I :(

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Drop that can of sweet pop and grab a coffee - for your sanity's sake

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Re: Correlation != causation

Indeed. I also note the research was suspiciously paid for by Kenco.

Ok, I made that last bit up.

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A pre-ticked box in web forms should NOT mean consent - EU report

FartingHippo
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All seems very sensible

Hurray for the EU!

Oh my, did I just write that?

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'Leccy-starved Reg hack: 'How I survive on 1.5kW'

FartingHippo
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Stop

Re: Adversity breeds ingenuity

"Cheaper to have the meter moved"

Only if you don't put the genny back on ebay at the end, surely.

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5.6TB helium disks could balloon, lift WD onto enterprise throne

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Hydrogen would be fine

They fill the electrical generators at power stations up with hydrogen which acts as a coolant, and reduces drag. This has been done for decades. 'Course there they have a slight over-pressure, a shed-load of monitoring, and decent extraction systems to prevent a bang, but it goes to show that with a bit of thought and design effort, hydrogen could be a viable alternative.

Wikilink

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Hey Lenovo, want to kill Apple? Look to Samsung hitman for tips

FartingHippo
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Alert

Peaks and Troughs

Apple is riding high - and deservedly so after pretty much convincing the general public to buy touchscreen phones and tablets single-handedly. The problem is that, though Apple products are still fabulous quality devices, they are losing their cachet amongst the hip and trendy. No longer is a new product a "must have", as the iPhone 5 and iPad Mini demonstrated.

The sheer number of iPhones and iPads out there mean they no longer carry the mystique and coolness they once did. People no longer look on in envy, and may even be subject to an eye-rolling and sarcastic "my, how original you are". Whip out a Nexus 7 or a S3, on the other hand, and friends and bystanders are genuinely intrigued. [Yup, this is all anecdotal. Over the past couple of years I've had an Galaxy S2, a iPhone 4S, and Nexus 7. I've had unsolicited comments from strangers on both the non-Apple products, but not the iPhone.]

Back to the article: I don't think killing Apple is going to happen in the next decade, they have a colossal market of happy customers who will continue to buy Apple products. But I don't think they are ever going to scale the heights they've reached over the past 5 years again.

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Bacterial quantum tricks could help solar power

FartingHippo
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Coat

Re: Hmmm.

You're doing it wrong. They're meant to dispense money, not pleasure. Although to be fair, the former is often a nice way to get the latter...

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John McAfee the Belize spymaster uncovers 'ricin, terrorist plots'

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Scanning...

Alert! Brain Virus!

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First rigid airship since the Hindenburg enters trials

FartingHippo
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Boffin

@oldcoder

"Hydrogen has twice the lifting capability"

Nope, by that logic a vacuum chamber would have an infinite lifting capacity.

The lifting capability if the difference between gas density and air density. The molecular weights are:

i) Air: 29 (approx)

ii) Hydrogen: 2

iii) Helium: 4

So the hydrogen has an advantage of 27/29 to 25/29 (or 8% more). Hydrogen is lovely because it's dirt cheap, not super-floaty.

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FartingHippo
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Flame

Explosive?

Not really.

Look at footage of the Hindenburg: it burns, sure, but there was no explosion. Hydrogen will only explode if mixed with an oxidiser (air or oxygen, usually) in the right proportion. Without the dodgy paint on the Hindenburg, I reckon than the fire and crash would have been much, much slower and more survivable. A healthy fraction of the passengers and crew survived anyway, albeit somewhat charred in most cases.

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Sculpted 66-pound jubs survive lightning blast, 26ft drop

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Some sort of metallic mesh...

...shaped in the form of a brassiere would seem to be the order of the day. I think Madonna has one.

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USB 3.0 speed to DOUBLE in 2013

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

For mugs only

I also liked their return policy (and remember, you've just forked out $3.5k for 3 feet of cable):

Any custom Locus Design cable may be returned within 30 days for a refund, if for some odd reason it does not perform as expected in your system. A 20% restocking fee (of the the total price) will be charged and any shipping charges incurred will be the responsibility of the buyer.

Nice.

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Dotcom titan funds 'Mark Cuban Chair To Eliminate Stupid Patents'

FartingHippo
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Devil

Hurray for rich nerds!!

See also SpaceX, SpaceShipOne, Tesla Motors, and Bill's vaccination efforts.

And Steve Jobs, of course, gave us Finding Nemo.

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PGP, TrueCrypt-encrypted files CRACKED by £300 tool

FartingHippo
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Stop

most ppl now days don't use hibernate

What do you base that on?

Anecdotally, I'd say a hell of a lot of people still use hibernate, certainly enough to make this a big deal.

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Wikipedia doesn't need your money - so why does it keep pestering you?

FartingHippo
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Coat

"I wonder how they resolved it"

Their HQ is now in Bermuda, on a large yacht anchored just off the beach.

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FartingHippo
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Stop

"so why does it keep pestering you"

As far as I can make out, anyone of importance on Wikipedia is either a d*ck or an ar*ehole.

I'm sorry to be so crude, but my limited interaction there (and any perusal of the admin boards) bears this out in spades. It one of the few places a sociopath or other dysfunctional soul can get their hands on power and influence just by being who they are.

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Information teleportation goes large-scale

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Re: I thought I was smart till I read this

Jet packs, JET PACKS, JET PACKS!! Why do people always forget about the *'#?ing jet packs!

Priority. Number. ONE.

Ahem. I think I need to get our more.

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Naked Scarlett Johansson pic snatch bloke gets 10 YEARS

FartingHippo
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Alien

Also...

...how to take a shower very, very quickly.

<<< His face after taking a shower too slowly.

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Coming soon to a theme park near you: Shocking ANTI-PIRACY NAG ADS

FartingHippo
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Alert

"Dog and pony show" ... "Steak pie arrived without any meat in it"

Probably for the best, given the likely source of the meat.

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Next IPCC climate assessment due 2014 now everywhere online

FartingHippo
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Unhappy

"Thus the IPCC appears to be designed for a bygone age."

And yet my energy bill and flight costs make me want to weep, and are likely to do so for the foreseeable future.

It's all Nick Clegg's fault (this is a facetious comment, so calm down, lentil-eating sandalistas).

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Dragons' Den badboy's biz Expansys is soaked in red

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: Ahahah...

So ... you're a loyal customer then?

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Shiny new UK.gov stats website a 'disaster' - MPs

FartingHippo
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FAIL

New Government Site is Shit Shocker

Is it Groundhog Day already?

(although it's the first new site in a while not to fall over 5 minutes after going live - which is a pretty piss-poor measure of success)

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Feds smash international cybercrime ring with Power of Facebook

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

$850 meeeeeelion!!!!

F*ck me. Who said crime didn't pay.

And I bet they only recover a teeny weeny proportion of the cash. Someone, somewhere, probably on a private island with a volcano and a diminutive manservant, is very happy indeed.

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UN's 'bid to wrestle control of internet' stalled by asterisk

FartingHippo
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Angel

'bid to wrestle control of internet' stalled by asterisk

Good old Getafix and his magic potion.

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Stephen Hawking gets $3m physics prize from Mail.ru tycoon

FartingHippo
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@Neil B

'Course it's not "real science". No airships, no robots, no doomsday devices, no jet packs.

Hawking is of no use whatsoever in the field of mad real science.

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Apple's iOS 6 maps STILL muddle Mildura

FartingHippo
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Happy

Ah, Google

Any sensible company would be at Google's gate, cap in hand, asking for those nice maps back, pretty please. However, I think Tim Cook would rather burn the company to the ground before doing that.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall of the chocolate factory's mapping department. They must be loving this.

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2020AD: Space tourists will be FOUND ON MOON

FartingHippo
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Stop

Answers

1) Consulting the world? I was unaware the moon sported a thriving ecosystem, or that the rocket would be chock full of diamonds on the return journey. I thought it was a boring dusty place. It's not like the mission is setting up a mining colony (although that would be cool).

2) Financial issues/technical issues? Fair enough.

3) Not safe? Please sign this waiver after signing your cheque. Or sign them the other way around, we're pretty relaxed about that.

4) Political issues? Given the mess the Chinese and Russians make of their own back yard, I can't see them giving a rat's ass about some dusty footprints on the moon. If they manage to get your Russian billionaire that close to the Apollo 11 landing site, then fair play, but by then it's much too late for the 'merkins to get all huffy.

5) Things will go wrong? No sh*t Sherlock. You pays your money and you takes your chance.

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'Facebook is completely undreamt of even by the worst spying nation'

FartingHippo
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Alert

Paleolithic gag

"I've tried turning the computer screen to face the printer, but the computer can't see the printer."

That one's been around since god was a teenager.

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Latest Call of Duty sequel shoots past Avatar sales benchmark

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Re: Ok, that shows that

The unwashed masses are clearly less discerning that your good self.

Personally, I'd rather watch Thor than The Artist any day of the week, pleb that I am.

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2013: No sign of flying cars, but Orange mobes will get black ice

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Black ice?

My fuzzy 80's memory tells me that Gibson used (coined?) the term 'black ice' for illegal software that could KILL YOU. It caused some sort of lethal neural feedback through your head jack.

This is no more black ice than a spud gun is a howitzer.

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Brr, feeling cold? Galaxy is home to plenty of WARMER Earth twins

FartingHippo
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Pint

Now I get it!!

The reason we've never seen aliens is that, instead of building interstellar craft utilising esoteric drive technology, they're all chillin' on the beach with an ice cold alien beer.

Fair play, alien dudes, fair play.

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Adobe demands 7,000 years a day from humankind

FartingHippo
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Angel

Re: Good article

Lost? Pfff. Those are years of enlightenment.

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