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* Posts by FartingHippo

612 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012

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AARGH! We're ALL DOOMED, bellows UN - right on schedule

FartingHippo
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Alert

Sorry, third world, you need to STAY POOR

Seems jolly unfair to suggest that developing countries should stop their industrialisation, and the third world should stay undeveloped, just so the west can retain their standard of living.

'Cos realistically that's the only way CO2 production is going to stabilise and fall. Not going to happen, is it...

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Quantum crypto - with nothing more than STANDARD broadband fibre

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Needs more work

"it would seem more work is needed before this actually turns into a useful technology"

Well that wins the "No Sh*t Sherlock" award for the day. You'd have scoffed at the Wright Brothers too, I'd imagine.

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Swedish woman cuffed for sex with skeleton SHOCKER

FartingHippo
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Pirate

So...

Which end of the femur did she use? Inquiring minds need to know.

(and seriously, am I really the first to use this icon? poor show, commentards)

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Glorious silicon globes could hold key to elusive PERFECT kilogram

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

Re: It's a kg!

kg not Kg; K is for Kelvin

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Petraeus appeal: STOP BUBBA the Love Sponge FRYING a KORAN

FartingHippo
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Re: It gets weirder...

Bubba the Love Sponge released the tape, that is. Not Petraeus.

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FartingHippo
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It gets weirder...

He was the one who released the Hulk Hogan sex tape. He left Hogan and his wife after sanctioning the tryst, but failed to tell either of them about the camera.

We need a "Twilight Zone" icon.

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Apple said to have let the name of the next OS X cat out of the bag

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

Re: Surely ...

Clouded Leopard, I think you meant. But admittedly that's not as funny.

Most beautifully patterned cat there is, IMHO.

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John McAfee blogs for help, offers $25K reward for neighbour's killer

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

He has a brain virus

You don't need crappy antivirus software to work that out.

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Galapagos islands bombed with 22 tonnes of Blue Death Cornflakes

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Madness I tell you

Sounds like the perfect way to breed a poison-tolerant rat.

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Power to the people - if you can find a spare socket

FartingHippo
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Stop

Re: USB

And wait four times as long as it takes a proper charger to do the job?!

I think not.

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Samsung readies bendy smarties for 2013

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Bendy??

You could use the reflectivity to your advantage. Make a parabola and have the finest cigarette lighter known to man (assuming it's sunny).

Those under the legal age will of course resort the time-honoured tradition of frying ants.

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Lord to sue Twitter users who falsely accused him of abuse

FartingHippo
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FAIL

Seriously?

You're still trying to make this political?

(And doesn't "Torries" play for Chelsea?)

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Nintendo Wii U set to out-sell predecessor at launch

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

£50 for 24Gb

Did you see that, Apple? Did you? Huh, HUH?

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Apple stops Caring in Italy, probably all Europe soon

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

Poor old El Reg

Apple's naughty step must have a vulture-shaped dent in it by now.

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Brits swallow Google Nexus 4 supply 'in 30 minutes'

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: Losers

That is a good idea. You can be my new friend, and together we can laugh at people with only 10.

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FartingHippo
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Trollface

Losers

I has Nexus 7. It is 3 better than a 4 lol so I win!

My friend has a 10. He is not my friend now.

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BOSS Bang boffins: DARK ENERGY spreading across the Universe

FartingHippo
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Alien

Re: Is it me?

"Dark Energy" sounds very much like a theory based on sub-standard SF.

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RIM sets date for BlackBerry 10 reveal

FartingHippo
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Meh

Might be FANTASTIC

But, sadly, very few people will care.

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Liberator: the untold story of the first British laptop part 1

FartingHippo
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Happy

Ah, geeks

Named after the ship on Blake's 7, no doubt :)

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Walmart workers filmed playing iPad frisbee

FartingHippo
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Coat

Idiots

The corners aren't thatround!

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Swedish boffins: An ICE AGE is coming, only CO2 can save us

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Without getting into the debate about whether warming is super-damaging or not-a-big-deal, I thought this rather elegantly shows the "last 10/12/16 years have not shown any warming so AGW is a crock" statement to be a load of denialist bollocks.

Funky gif this way.

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A bitter spill to swallow, or 'how to smeg up your keyboard'

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

Re: Simpler soloution

100% Ethanol is very highly toxic. ... It also tends to contain benzene (carcinogen) as an impurity.

You are hereby stripped of your 'boffin' icon.

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FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: Simpler soloution

Ethanol isn't a solution, it's a single compound. Even combined with water it would just be a mixture.

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Medical scan record that the NHS says will cost £2k to retrieve: Detail

FartingHippo
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Thumb Down

Yep, my first thought too. Lo and behold, a fair few drives, nothing over £500, and most of it a damn sight cheaper than that.

Common sense: the NHS has heard of it.

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Sellafield's nuclear waste measured in El Reg units

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Best. Bootnote. Ever.

Time and time and time and time again I'm amazed by the hysteria that nuclear power and radiation provokes.

And before anyone mentions Fukoshima: we do not live in an active earthquake zone.

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Cray scales to over 100 petaflops with 'Cascade' XC30 behemoth

FartingHippo
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Happy

"engineers sometimes keep ideas in reserve for emergencies and continued employment"

And it will be ever thus.

*****

Kirk: How much refit time before we can take her out again?

Scotty: Eight weeks, Sir, but ye don't have eight weeks, so I'll do it for ye in two.

Kirk: Mr.Scott. Have you always multiplied your repair estimates by a factor of four?

Scotty: Certainly, Sir. How else can I keep my reputation as a miracle worker?

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Who needs flying cars when we can robotically sort Skittles?

FartingHippo
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Stop

Re: I'm not interested, until...

No, no, no, no, no. Just send them to me!

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Credit card-sized mobile simplified for oldies

FartingHippo
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Stop

Re: Crap

@bluest.one

No. Part of the service is that the numbers can be changed for free, just by calling customer services. Presumably you need to stay in their price plan for that. Check out the FAQ on the link.

£40 is for a new handset with different names printed on it. You'd be daft not to just stick a new label on it to avoid that.

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FartingHippo
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Re: Crap

I seriously doubt they're making that much profit. The volumes will be low, so the dev costs will have to be amortised across a much, much, much smaller number of units than the el cheapo units you're referring to.

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FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: Hang on...

The constant drain is because the phone needs to always be connected to the network, and it actively varies the power output to make sure it does. IANA RF Engineer, but I'd imagine that accounts for 99% of the battery drain between calls.

5 days was what you got from a late 90's LCD phone, and their displays took almost no power at all when the back light was off.

I may well get me arse handed to me on a plate for using this icon, but I'm feeling daring.

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Flash-killer nanotube memory firm teams with Belgians to try again

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Pah! I still copy out my spreadsheets by hand onto vellum, and put that into a fireproof box.

No way an EMP pulse is going to take out my work.

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Slideshow: A History of First-person Shooters in 20 Games

FartingHippo
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Happy

Syphon Filter

Man, I loved that game. Best use of headshots and sniper rifle I'd seen, and a pretty decent plot too.

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FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Re: Well, there you go

That's a pretty amazing thing to admit on a gaming article.

Kind of like saying "What, beer's alcoholic? I thought it was a type of apple juice, that's why I've been drinking Campari and orange all these years" in the pub.

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Apple must apologise for its surly apology on its website on Saturday

FartingHippo
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Devil

Take it away George...

If you're gonna do it, do it right...right

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Daily Telegraph punishes expats with paywall

FartingHippo
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Alert

Given the telegraph is read by retired colonels and other 'outraged of Tunbridge Wells' types, I think IT literacy is in very short supply.

Although to be fair only a small majority of all people would know to use a proxy, and a smaller proportion still would be able to do it (I know, it's not tricky, but there are a shit-load of people who think that a blue 'e' means the internet, and errrr, that's it).

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Sony promotes Vita with QUAD-JUBBED WOMAN

FartingHippo
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Thumb Up

Ahhh, the French

Sometime you love 'em, sometimes you hate 'em. I'm going with the former on this occasion.

Qu'est-ce que le mot francais pour "jubbs?"

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MULTICOLOURED TARANTULAS found UP TREES in Brazil

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Re: Oh well done.

Indeed. When it comes to spiders, anything larger than my little finger nail moves from Tiny all the way to Stamp-On-The-Scary-Bastard-Now.

Oh look, a spider icon. Must have lost a leg while a mate was trying to eat it.

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Slideshow: A History of Horror in 20 Scary Games

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Foolishly, I was expecting that there would actually be a slideshow here

That more a yawn-inducing "Tales of the Unexpected" horror (US readers: Twilight Zone), than a true Carrie's-Grave trouser-filler.

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Fans' loyalty questioned as iPhone popularity plummets

FartingHippo
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Meh

Empires Rise...

...Empires Fall

Standard Oil, the East India Company, Microsoft: all ruled the world and then fell (or are falling).

The loyalty and willingness of Apple fans to spend money has been phenomenal. Couldn't last forever, and the original yawning quality gap between Apple and non-Apple phones and tablets has vanished (and in the case of phones at least, arguably reversed). A more balanced market will emerge.

Next on the chopping block: A certain search and advertising corporation.

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Dry martini, shaken not stirred: Cracking the physics of Bond's martini

FartingHippo
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Re: Lillet

It seems you're suggesting making a bloody mary from, well, a bloody Mary.

Nice.

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FartingHippo
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@bitmap animal

You had me until "Gordons is great". No, no, no, no, no. It is Budweiser* to other gins' real ale. Plymouth, or the wonderful Sipsmiths for me.

*The American one, or Buttwiper, as it should be known. How on earth can you remove so much flavour from a beer?

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Forgetting Microsoft: How Steve Ballmer's Surface could win

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

@Steve I

"It's not supposed to be 'informative'"

Don't be such a pompous wally, this is a tech news and comment site. The former should be informative, and the latter informative and lay out a writers opinion. Both should obviously entertain. The job of a decent journalist is to synthesize the facts and, if writing a comment piece like this one, provide a reasoned opinion one way or the other (note: you can still lay out both sides of the argument). The reader can then assess the facts and either agree or otherwise. Simply presenting a list of things which may or may not happen is sloppy, amateurish, and rather dull.

It's far more interesting to be presented a point of view on a topic, even if you disagree with it. See also every newspaper columnist since time began, or look at the vibrant discussion generated on one of Lewis's or Andrew O's articles.

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FartingHippo
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Confused

So Microsoft might come back. Or they might not.

They might have to change to do it. Or they might not.

They might shift to a hardware/software ecosystem manufacturer. Or they might not.

What an informative article.

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Google Nexus 4 flips finger at Sandy, appears on YouTube

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Re: It was funny the first time...

Erm...apart from me, obviously.

*cough*

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FartingHippo
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It was funny the first time...

How about the first person to point out "rounded corners" gets banned for a year.

And anyway, it looks more like the Galaxy S3.

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Apple's iPad Mini mishap: scratching out the retina screen

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

Never mind the length...

...feel the WIDTH. It's all that matters. Feel that pocket stretch.

Paris, natch.

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BBC pulls plug Ceefax ahead of analogue TV's end tonight

FartingHippo
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Red Button

It amazes me that the Red Button text services are so unspeakably slow and otherwise just a bit shit, considering the it was introduced over 30 years after Ceefax was.

As an analogy: Ceefax started 7 years before the ZX81 was released; the Red Button started just after the PS3 was released.

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