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* Posts by FartingHippo

634 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012

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Twenty classic arcade games

FartingHippo
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WTF?

Others

The definitive list will never be agreed on, but here are my faves from the era:

Bubble Bobble (I mean, come on! 100 levels, hidden portals, easter eggs galore)

Wonder Boy (I can still hum the music)

Shinobi

1943

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Wannabe infosec kiddies put Enigma Bombe machine to the test

FartingHippo
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Go

All enemy comms readable by dawn each day

it took an average of four hours each night to work out the day’s settings on each German military network, most of which were changed at midnight

That is very, very cool.

While it's widely recognised that this won (or at least shortened) the war, it must have been harrowing to have to ignore most of communications with the loss of thousands of lives. All to make sure the Germans kept believing their system was secure.

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Apple: OK, we tracked your every move... but let's call it a caching bug, m'kay?

FartingHippo
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Big Brother

Re: Easy now,

Oh, he's got a spine. He just doesn't give a shit about the little man. In ten year's time, this may well be very appropriate;

And on the pedestal these words appear --

"My name is Ozymandias Apple, king of kings:

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.'

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SpaceX rocket reaches orbit but Dragon fails to spit fire

FartingHippo
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Alien

It's the Vogons!

Flee! Must find lager and a towel. I'll start with the lager.

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Microwaves thrash fibre on speed... if you like two-nines uptime

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Ooo you're so clever!

"It’s all about something called the refractive index, which is essentially how well (or poorly) light passes through a material."

Tsk.

For a site which deals with crypto and quantum mechanics on a regular basis (and sometime both together), that was rather patronizing. Plus it's basically wrong, in that the transparency of a material is a measure of 'how well light passes through'. In this context the refractive index is a proxy for the local value of c.

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Look out! PEAK WIND is COMING, warns top Harvard physicist

FartingHippo
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Alert

Peak Beans

When I hear 'Peak Wind', why do I suddenly get a vision of Blazing Saddles.

Childish? Probably. Funny? Hell, yes.

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Cheap iPhone mini 'makes sense' for world domination

FartingHippo
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Re: NO! It doesn't make sense. It would ruin Apple!

Agreed.

*lights joss stick, starts whalesong*

Apple has been firmly positioned as an aspirational brand for well over a decade. It differentiates itself by only selling the finest, most polished, most slickly designed shiny-shiny in the business. Owning an iProduct shows you can afford an iProduct, and a lot of people like that.

Producing a cheapo iPhone might provide a profit bump in the short-term, but would harm the brand by eroding prestige and undermining the whole reason that Apple is, well, Apple. I think that would translate into a loss in the long-term, and transform Apple into just another manufacturer of consumer electronics.

As a parallel, look how Burberry screwed its brand by selling cut-price tat to chavs - rolling in cash for a few years, then they bombed out and nearly folded after the fickle chavs moved on to other things.

[Yeah, I get that some people - and perhaps the majority of reg readers - don't but into this schtick, but millions of bozos others do. A visit to any Apple Store shows you that.]

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Happy birthday, LP: Can you believe it's only 65?

FartingHippo
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Go

Re: Size matters

Not a big deal at Uni: engineers always have nice big textbooks.

Guess an iPad does the job these days. iToke.

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FartingHippo
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Windows

What is this 'analog'?

Hmph. If you're talking about tech from way back then (and you're in the UK), then it's analogue, not analog.

That's as close to a grumpy-old-sod icon as I can find.

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Apple files 'iWatch' patent application

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Re: In Redmond Microsoft fire the photo copiers up.

And yet, at the same time, no style at all.

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Sony promises PC-based PlayStation 4 for Christmas

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

@wolfetone

"Rouge Squadron II"

How does wearing blusher help defeat the empire?

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Samsung under fire over copy-paste bricking

FartingHippo
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Coat

Re: Bricking?

s'funny, I thought 'to brick' was transitive verb meaning 'to be very afraid'.

Peter was bricking it when he found out his boss had access to his internet history.

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Rid yourself of Adobe: New Firefox 19.0 gets JAVASCRIPT PDF viewer

FartingHippo
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FAIL

Re: I've been trying it.

@Chris007 - not sure what your beef is here.

I've configured Acrobat to not allow access to the internet, or use javascript, or media files, etc. If a PDF isn't just an electronic equivalent to a paper document, I don't want to know.

So here's a fail back at ya!

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FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: But does it work for local PDFs?

Just associate the extension with Firefox, no?

Or am I missing something fundamental.

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FartingHippo
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Go

Re: I've been trying it.

Yep, since the Foxit issue I've been opening PDF's in Acrobat. Nice to have a light viewer back in the browser, and (naive as this may seem) I trust Mozilla's approach to security much more than Adobe or the maker of a third party reader.

Also, no speed issues at this end (so far).

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Boffins use DVD burner to scale graphene supercapacitors

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: I'm skeptical

Watching the vid it seems as though it's halfway between a capacitor and a battery. Super-quick recharge (capacitor) and then longish discharge (battery).

Super capacitor is a lot more media-friendly than "cattery" or - heaven forbid - "battacitor".

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Higgs data shows alternate reality will SWALLOW UNIVERSE

FartingHippo
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Re: Spider Robinson covered this a few years ago

Or Greg Egan's Schild's Ladder. Course in that case the new universe was expanding at 0.5c, so you could zip along in front of the boundary and poke it from a suitably equipped ship.

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Baby-boulder bowling burglar breaks Boulder Apple Store's $100k glass door

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

Re: Alternative title

Ahem. Actually: Apple's appliance advertising area atrophied after astounding attack.

Able assistance for amateur author's apostrophe angst.

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Satanic Renault takes hapless French bloke on 200km/h joyride

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Why not....

....just put a police 4x4 in front of him, and use it's not-inconsiderable braking power to slow down both cars. No way a Laguna could push a Land Cruiser (or similar) with brakes applied, unless their whole police force drives Renault 12s with comical sirens.

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Forget wireless power for phones - Korea's doing it for BUSES

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Re: Cooking on gas^H^H^H leccy?

I don't care how smart or swanky they make electric hobs, they'll have to prize my gas range from my cold, dead hands.

(c) Charlton Heston. Who is dead. And cold.

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Spotted: Android 4.2.2 update for Google Nexus devices

FartingHippo
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Go

@Ambivalent N7-owning AC

I love my N7. But then again, I don't use it for work, but as a media device.

Kindle, Netflix, surfing, casual gaming: it does all of those things will aplomb and it's light enough to hold comfortably on the tube, or when lying on my side in bed. The battery life is more than adequate too.

So I agree, it's a toy of sorts. But I've always loved toys, and this is a good one...

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NASA melts mysterious 'metal Martian flower' myth

FartingHippo
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Re: But still they come

Richard Burton's voice-over on that is fabutastic.

I was delighted to find it on Spotify a couple of months ago, and spent a very happy afternoon listening to it at work.

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Apple CEO Cook: 'Bizarre' shareholder lawsuit a 'silly sideshow'

FartingHippo
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Stop

Like Prozac?

When ever I've left an Apple store I feel more depressed than when I went in. Either I can't afford what I want or I have a nagging feeling I've spent a lot more than I should have.

So, more like anti-Prozac really.

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Pope resigns months after launching social networking effort

FartingHippo
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Angel

Re: bark of Saint Peter

On the other hand "Bark of Saint Bernard" would have been perfectly acceptable, although somewhat surreal.

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Dead Steve Jobs 'made Tim Cook sue Samsung' from beyond the grave

FartingHippo
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Alert

Is there anybody there?

I can just imagine Tim Cook and the rest of the Apple board sat there with a white, minimal Ouija Board, their sweaty palms resting on a puck mouse.

S...U...E...S...A...M...S...U...N...G

And the rest, as they say, is history.

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Playmobil punts bank-heist set to wide-eyed kiddies

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Good for them

*Caution: When-I-Were-A-Lad Rant*

Glad to see Playmobile bucking the trend for increasingly banal toys. It's the trend that has seen cap-guns, spud-guns, toy swords, and bow-and-arrows-with-suckers-on-the-end all but eradicated from toy emporia, but has seen the rise of increasingly sexualized girl-toys, 'cos that's just peachy.

Bought my lad a Playmobile cop van and was horrified that I felt mildly uncomfortable with the miniature shotgun and pistols. Note: horrified by my reaction, not the toy. I felt like I'd been brainwashed. Fortunately, he loves it, and he brought a tear to my eye by pretending to shoot his sister's doll with all the appropriate sound effects. Must join him in a shoot-out later...

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Brit boffins GANG-RESEARCH tiny LEDs for 1Gbps network

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

Re: "1980s research attempting to predict the future of computing"

I am indeed confused. A Paris Hilton moment...

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FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Anyone else thinking...

Would sort out the blackest of blacks race, for sure. No backlight leakage from a source that is actually OFF.

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FartingHippo
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Alert

"1980s research attempting to predict the future of computing"

The Xerox paper talks about 3G and bluetooth. 80s it aint.

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Schoolgirl's Hello Kitty catonaut soars to 93,000ft

FartingHippo
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Happy

Balloon burst

That's an amazing shot of the balloon burst.

(And awwwww).

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Samsung: Never mind Steve Jobs, let's snap off a piece of stylus biz

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: Vibrating pen? Interesting.

5mm? My sympathies.

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Commentards Ahoy! How about a Petabyte of storage?

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Exciting

Your optimism is touching, but sadly misplaced.

By 2015 The Register's entire output will will consist of 3 comment wranglers, 3 cut-and-pasters, and a multitude of commentards a.k.a. saps.

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Boffins prep tasty data-cramming 3D metal-sandwich chip

FartingHippo
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Alert

Stop the ride, I'm going to be sick

There was a lot of high-forehead spin-science in that. Feeling a bit dizzy.

Hearty congratulations for not using the word 'quantum' in the whole article though. Makes the whole proposition more credible and less mystic-perpetual-motion-machine-energy-field-y.

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Yay for iOS 6.1, grey Wi-Fi iPhone bug is fix- AWW, SNAP

FartingHippo
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Alert

Maybe, maybe not

Remember the old Xbox-360-in-a-towel trick that often sorted out the RROD?

Admittedly that was a hardware fault; using heat to fix a software fault does sound rather flaky.

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Review: Intel 335 240GB SSD

FartingHippo
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Re: no rating?

Top of the Amazon link is a vendor selling the drive for £20 more than suggested on El Reg, and claiming is uses 25nm tech.

Hardly a fantastic first impression.

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ITU signs off on H.265 video standard

FartingHippo
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Happy

Re: Free to air TV will suffer the same fate as print media,

Heh. Fair point, though still the best of the prequels.

It was the first Bluray I saw that really made me go "wow". Whatever you think of the plot and dialogue (and OMFG it can be bad), the visuals are first-rate.

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FartingHippo
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Stop

Re: Free to air TV will suffer the same fate as print media,

"Except that most people are happy with what we've got already"

I was happy with VHS until I watched The Fifth Element on DVD. Vowed never to go back.

I was happy with DVD until I watched Revenge of the Sith on Bluray. Vowed never to go back.

Ditto mono/stereo. Ditto stereo/surround.

3D, however, sucks.

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China may axe 13-year console ban, games OK for kids after all

FartingHippo
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WTF?

Puzzling

Given the stories of young males in China dying after playing for 60 straight hours, or receiving counseling for computer addiction, or their fathers hiring virtual hit-men to grief their son's characters, I was rather surprised to hear there was a console ban in the first place...

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Helium: Can it prevent the onset of Shingles?

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: Helium supply

Helium is actually found in natural gas (>1% in many deposits). It gets there from subterranean radioisotopes decaying.

Qatar is now a major player in helium production as a result - but still lags waaay behind the US.

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FartingHippo
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Re: More explanation please

Also interested to hear more. The article wasn't super-informative on that front.

I assume they need to change the shape of the disk heads to maintain the correct float distance in helium, too - presumably by making them bigger, or by giving them teeny-tiny wings (shaped for confidence and comfort, natch).

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Brit 2.5-tonne nuke calculator is World's Oldest Working Computer

FartingHippo
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Stop

"Those Specs In Full"

Yet no mention of processing capability.

I'm pretty curious, for one.

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Alien space rocks EXPLODE in fireball over Japan

FartingHippo
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Alien

Alien Space Rocks

I think we should petition NASA and ESA to change their standard vocabulary:

"asteroid" to "alien space rock"

"meteorite" to "flaming alien space rock"

"fireball" to "flaming alien space rock of DOOM"

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Nokia turns a PROFIT. Sort of

FartingHippo
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Good.

Now if only RIM can plug the holes in their own sinking ship, we might have the makings of a decent competitive, innovative phone market.

Monopoly very bad; duopoly quite bad; quadropoly probably ok.

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Oh, those crazy Frenchies: Facebook faces family photo tax in France

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: I'm impressed

That would be "gateau", mon ami.

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FartingHippo
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Devil

Great Idea

I can see nothing at all that will go wrong with this plan. Not a thing. It is a perfect solution which will be implemented without incident.

Vive la France!

*cough*

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Dotcom's Mega smacks back: Our crypto's not crap

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: dedupe

Or chunkify(TM) the data such that, given enough input data, several chunks will match but will decrypt into different data depending on the key. Reassemble files on the fly from a chunk index or chindex(TM).

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FartingHippo
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Thumb Up

Re: Love to hate

Agreed. I might not have the same level's of security as a Swiss Bank, but then Mega is not intended for the storage of billions and billions and billions of Francs/Pounds/Euros/Dollars.

As long as the resources required to break in are several orders of magnitude more than the value of the encrypted data, it's good enough. And remember, even if there is some juicy stuff on Mega, it's still swamped by crap by a very large ratio (needle in a haystack, etc).

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