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* Posts by FartingHippo

669 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012

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Fanbois vs fandroids: Punters display 'tribal loyalty'

FartingHippo
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Re: Sounds like the author is committing the same sin

In other words: "nice work if you can get it"

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iPhone 5 totters at the top as Samsung thrusts up UK mobe chart

FartingHippo
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Back from the brink?

Great news for Nokia, and good for everyone to have a third player in the market.. I hope their market share continues to rise.

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Fried-egg sarnies kick off Reg man's quid-a-day nosh challenge

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Not joining you. Sorry.

Ironically my lunchtime steak and ale pie - complete with delicious mash and gravy - cost £5.00.

(Should have saved this post for Friday, when it really would have hurt.)

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Ten ancestors of the netbook

FartingHippo
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Go

Re: Standards Dropping

Quite right. Here a link for other disappointed commentards.

"that picture"

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You hear that, Mr Cook? Samsung's profits have gone UP

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Cult of Jobs

You know, I always used to scoff at the idea that one man could be responsible for much of Apple's success. Ridiculous! [I thought] A company that size is the sum of all its employees. No single individual has that much influence!!

I could, just possibly, have been very wrong.

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Reg hack to starve on £1 a day for science

FartingHippo
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Trollface

@AC No.2

Your psychic powers are amazing. You knew all that was true just by reading his (or her) post!

If you do spoons too, then you are truly the successor to Uri Geller.

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Cameron: Get those saucy websites off Blighty's public Wi-Fi

FartingHippo
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Re: It's about time!

I blame the immigrants. Porn has also reduced the value of my home.

(c) Daily Mail

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FartingHippo
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WTF?

I must live a sheltered life

"The PM wants to get skin flicks banned from wireless networks in spaces such as coffee shops, libraries and railway stations."

Is there really a problem with people cracking one off in Starbucks, or on Platform 11 at Euston Station?

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CISPA row: Slurped citizen data is ENORMO HACK TARGET - infosec boss

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

So, in summary...

...what could possibly go wrong?

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Google's teeny UK tax bill 'just not right', thunders senior MP

FartingHippo
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Re: Can we check one thing?

Bit right-wing and screamy, but the facts seem sound:

http://order-order.com/tag/hodge

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FartingHippo
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Holmes

Well said

Margaret Hodge is a bit of a rent-a-gob. Pops up left, right and centre with media friendly quotes but no real solutions to the "problems" she's highlighting. She's a politician, in other words.

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iPhone too heavy? Volkswagen brings out motorised ride-on dock

FartingHippo
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Stop

iBeetle?

iBoughtThisCarTenYearsAgoAndNowItsFullOfOutdatedUselessShit

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Readers, we need you... for LOHAN ignition failsafe brainwaves

FartingHippo
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Devil

Re: Slippery rings

Without a picture, that makes almost no sense at all (to me). But it sound very convincing!

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The Reg puts Vulture inside the Large Hadron Collider

FartingHippo
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Boffin

15 million gigabytes

15 petabytes sounds a lot cooler :)

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'He's F**KED with the wrong nerd ... I warned I'd go public'

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Re: Eric, fixed that for you:

Yes. We got that implication. First sentence of article:

when head hypocrite honcho at Google Eric Schmidt

See what they did there?

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Are biofuels Europe's sh*ttiest idea ever?

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Betteridge's Law says 'No'

I don't think any country should ban the swastika (even if you put aside its use in Hinduism and Buddhism).

If people want to identify themselves as racist, antisemitic, cro-magnon morons, that's entirely up to them.

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Samsung vs Apple: which smartphone do Reg readers prefer?

FartingHippo
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Re: Smartphones are for yesterday's cool kids.

I've never seen 'intriguing' used as a synonym for 'moronic' before. Still, I dare say they'll not be as bad as those miniscule bluetooth earpieces which make you look like a sherry-swilling tramp (merkin-speak: hobo).

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Kobo strikes new match against Kindle: The Aura HD e-reader

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: Sorry Kobo, I would like a Kindle version please

Calibre (with the Kindle plugin) is your friend.

Even if you haven't got a non-Kindle reader I'd highly recommend it. Who knows what future DRM debacle will render your lovely ebook collection unreadable otherwise.

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The Man Who Fell to Earth: Plane plummet plod probe phone

FartingHippo
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Re: Could he have survived the flight?

The wheels are also very heavy (unless it was the nose gear they contain brakes powerful enough to slow down several hundred tonnes of aircraft - that ain't light), and are still spinning on retraction.

Given the take-off speed of a long-haul jet is around 200 mph, that's going to be a very messy - and mercifully short - meeting of man and rubber.

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Norkoshop: How Pyongyang well and truly forked Adobe

FartingHippo
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WTF?

WTF?

That is all.

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Mars to go offline for a month as vast nuclear furnace gets in the way

FartingHippo
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Re: We need a relay

Surely the easiest way is just to move the orbit of the Earth (or Mars, if you're lazy) so it's perpendicular to the current orbital plane. Blackouts will still occur, but much less often.

While we're at it, we could re-spin the Earth putting the North Pole closer to Alaska, and thus moving blighty to warmer climes. It's been snowing all f*cking day. In f*cking April, for f*cking f*cks sake!

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Why does our galaxy spiral?

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Waste of time and money

Water going down a plughole = Stars around a black hole. Ta-da!

I'm still waiting for my Nobel.

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If Google got a haircut, a tie and a suit, would it be Microsoft?

FartingHippo
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Google vs Microsoft

I don't mind Google sharing the browser market*, or the email client market*, or the productivity suite market* with Microsoft. Competition is a great thing for the end user. It was a lack of competition that resulted in the execrable IE6, or Windows ME.

What I really would mind was Google displacing MS at the top of the heap. That "do no evil" plaque is already looking tarnished, and a market dominance in areas other than ads would hasten its demise, I'm sure.

* Yes, I am aware that other products exist, but you know what I mean.

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Is UK web speech regulated? No.10: Er. We’ll get back to you

FartingHippo
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FAIL

@ Loyal Commenter

"I am pretty damn sure that my local council hasn't been using anti-terror laws to check if I have been putting my bins out on time" and "hyperbolic rhetoric"

Wrong on both counts, I'm afraid.

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FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Oh dear. Here we go again.

Remember those anti-terror laws? The ones intended for terrorist? You know, the ones your local council used to check you were putting your bins out on time? Yes, those ones.

When you hear a politician say "Oh, don't worry. Maybe the language could have been a little clearer, but I promise this won't be abused" you can safely assume that either:

a) they are stupid

b) they think you are stupid

c) they are lying through their teeth

d) any combination of the above

Because as sure a shit stinks a blogger is going to end up in a court sometime soon.

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We shall CRUSH you, puny ROBOT... with CHESS

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Re: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow ...

Aieeeeeeeee......!!!

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Ten serious sci-fi films for the sentient fan

FartingHippo
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Re: Silent Running

FWIW, I always found Silent Running a bit mawkish. I do like the fact that the robots were so small they to use amputees to operate them, though.

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FartingHippo
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Alien

Missed one

Plan 9 From Outer Space. A masterpiece of futurology.

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World's 'smallest' mobe unveiled in Japan

FartingHippo
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Re: Zoolander comes true!

Downvoted for making me look at that tw*t, and thus disrupting the harmony of my morning coffee.

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BRITAIN MUST DECLARE WAR on Cervinaean menace

FartingHippo
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Coat

Armed bears

The US constitution enshrines the right to arm bears.

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Reg readers brew up the ultimate cuppa

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Brewing Time

I find this is heavily dependent on the type of tea bag. Basically the posher the tea bag the more time it takes.

Tetley can be made in under a minute with a bit of judicious stirring and squeezing (what was consensus on squeezing the bag?!?), whereas Whole Earth Organic Earl Grey takes a good 5 minutes for a proper flavour to develop.

Complex business, eh.

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Farewell, Reg: This hack is hanging up her Apple jacket

FartingHippo
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Devil

Re: Boo!

Heh! Judging by the downvotes sprinkled on the good wishes, there's a lot of butt-hurt iFans out there.

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FartingHippo
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Unhappy

Boo!

Shame. I'll miss the troll-bait :)

Still, It's been a blast. Have fun at the WSJ.

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Twenty classic arcade games

FartingHippo
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Bestest Game Evar!

I suspect the 'best' coin-ops were the popular ones when you were 12-16 years old, however old you are.

(unless you're under 20, in which case you can just f*ck off back to your console)

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FartingHippo
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Stop

Re: Others

Galaxians? Pfff. We don't need your steenking Galaxians.

Galaga, though, is a whole other story.

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FartingHippo
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WTF?

Others

The definitive list will never be agreed on, but here are my faves from the era:

Bubble Bobble (I mean, come on! 100 levels, hidden portals, easter eggs galore)

Wonder Boy (I can still hum the music)

Shinobi

1943

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Wannabe infosec kiddies put Enigma Bombe machine to the test

FartingHippo
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Go

All enemy comms readable by dawn each day

it took an average of four hours each night to work out the day’s settings on each German military network, most of which were changed at midnight

That is very, very cool.

While it's widely recognised that this won (or at least shortened) the war, it must have been harrowing to have to ignore most of communications with the loss of thousands of lives. All to make sure the Germans kept believing their system was secure.

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Apple: OK, we tracked your every move... but let's call it a caching bug, m'kay?

FartingHippo
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Big Brother

Re: Easy now,

Oh, he's got a spine. He just doesn't give a shit about the little man. In ten year's time, this may well be very appropriate;

And on the pedestal these words appear --

"My name is Ozymandias Apple, king of kings:

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.'

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SpaceX rocket reaches orbit but Dragon fails to spit fire

FartingHippo
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Alien

It's the Vogons!

Flee! Must find lager and a towel. I'll start with the lager.

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Microwaves thrash fibre on speed... if you like two-nines uptime

FartingHippo
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Ooo you're so clever!

"It’s all about something called the refractive index, which is essentially how well (or poorly) light passes through a material."

Tsk.

For a site which deals with crypto and quantum mechanics on a regular basis (and sometime both together), that was rather patronizing. Plus it's basically wrong, in that the transparency of a material is a measure of 'how well light passes through'. In this context the refractive index is a proxy for the local value of c.

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Look out! PEAK WIND is COMING, warns top Harvard physicist

FartingHippo
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Peak Beans

When I hear 'Peak Wind', why do I suddenly get a vision of Blazing Saddles.

Childish? Probably. Funny? Hell, yes.

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Cheap iPhone mini 'makes sense' for world domination

FartingHippo
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Re: NO! It doesn't make sense. It would ruin Apple!

Agreed.

*lights joss stick, starts whalesong*

Apple has been firmly positioned as an aspirational brand for well over a decade. It differentiates itself by only selling the finest, most polished, most slickly designed shiny-shiny in the business. Owning an iProduct shows you can afford an iProduct, and a lot of people like that.

Producing a cheapo iPhone might provide a profit bump in the short-term, but would harm the brand by eroding prestige and undermining the whole reason that Apple is, well, Apple. I think that would translate into a loss in the long-term, and transform Apple into just another manufacturer of consumer electronics.

As a parallel, look how Burberry screwed its brand by selling cut-price tat to chavs - rolling in cash for a few years, then they bombed out and nearly folded after the fickle chavs moved on to other things.

[Yeah, I get that some people - and perhaps the majority of reg readers - don't but into this schtick, but millions of bozos others do. A visit to any Apple Store shows you that.]

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Happy birthday, LP: Can you believe it's only 65?

FartingHippo
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Go

Re: Size matters

Not a big deal at Uni: engineers always have nice big textbooks.

Guess an iPad does the job these days. iToke.

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FartingHippo
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Windows

What is this 'analog'?

Hmph. If you're talking about tech from way back then (and you're in the UK), then it's analogue, not analog.

That's as close to a grumpy-old-sod icon as I can find.

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Apple files 'iWatch' patent application

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Re: In Redmond Microsoft fire the photo copiers up.

And yet, at the same time, no style at all.

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Sony promises PC-based PlayStation 4 for Christmas

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

@wolfetone

"Rouge Squadron II"

How does wearing blusher help defeat the empire?

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Samsung under fire over copy-paste bricking

FartingHippo
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Re: Bricking?

s'funny, I thought 'to brick' was transitive verb meaning 'to be very afraid'.

Peter was bricking it when he found out his boss had access to his internet history.

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Rid yourself of Adobe: New Firefox 19.0 gets JAVASCRIPT PDF viewer

FartingHippo
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FAIL

Re: I've been trying it.

@Chris007 - not sure what your beef is here.

I've configured Acrobat to not allow access to the internet, or use javascript, or media files, etc. If a PDF isn't just an electronic equivalent to a paper document, I don't want to know.

So here's a fail back at ya!

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