"anyone can get their balls out and whack them off among the sheep"
697 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012
Now wait a minute, that's really not fair: you missed out "salad-dodging".
Oh, no, no, no.
The mop (it's lower case) is defined as "the data required to transmit the 11th minute of Debbie Does Dallas encoded in the MPEG-4 Part 14 format (2nd edition), at a definition of 640x480"
Data usage should be in terms of Minutes of Porn (1 mop = xx Mb*).
"He used about 12 kilomops, whereas his normal monthly usage was a few hundred milimops" etc, etc.
* Let's assume SD - because HD on a phone screen is a waste of bandwidth. Hopefully more technical commentards can help with the actual conversion rate...
There are so many things wrong with that I don't know where to begin.
"face palm" doesn't even come close.
And that may be why the iWatch sweeps all the other contenders aside. One thing for sure, it'll be a whole lot better looking that the fugly mothers in the article.
Really? Whenever there's a gay scandal*, odds on it's a Tory MP.
*Why being gay is viewed as a 'scandal' in this day and age is a whole other topic.
My thoughts exactly.
You missed a bit:
"Sorry wrong department, I'll just transfer you over"
*click* ... *dial tone* ... *scream*
"a maximum of five people rattling about in 2,000 square feet of office space"
"my client purchased a cheap office in an East End dump that ... has transformed into a million-pound property"
Why didn't he sell years ago, then? What a moron.
"at least one day a week is enlivened by the sight of lingerie models padding around the site, usually in their lingerie."
Ah. I see.
Are you sure? Several million cores, maybe.
K had 705,000 cores, 10 Petaflops, and commissioned in 2011. Several years of chip development later (the new monster is due in 2020) I can't see it needing ~1,400 times that number of cores for just 100 times the floppage(TM).
I'd have done it in 10 minutes with a roll of duct tape.
"roughly pi giga seconds in a year"
Tsk. No. About 10 x pi megaseconds, unless your definition of roughly is very different to mine. Back to school, young man.
UI - whatever.
But thanks for using an image with Chu Chu Rocket highlighted. Brought back some memories and has left me 69p lighter in the wallet department. Cheap at thrice the price :)
Have a pint.
There are many situations where a small hole, rather than a large one, is preferable.
For more info, check out "wizard's sleeve" in the Profanosarus.
"as previously the iPhone mobes tended to look like your average mobile phone. Now, however, they look like iPod Touches after Steve's koumpounophobia made him strip back the mechanism to a touch screen and (horror of horrors) one great big, horrible, clicky button."
Since when did iPhone mobes look like an average mobile phone? Did I miss a generation? Did the iPhone 0 have a number pad?
"500 billionths of a metre wide and 10nm thick"
Really? Two ways of writing the same unit in one sentence!? Is that helpful?
Went to see him give a talk in Bristol about 10 years ago. He was interviewed by Phil Jupitus (who, it transpired, was a huge, huge fan).
About an hour in, Ray reached into the bag he'd dumped by his chair and retrieved one of the original Argonauts skeletons. The 300 people in the audience all took a short intake of breath, and held it. It was geek nirvana :)
An amazingly likeable and modest man. We'll not see his like again.
He's friends with Ted Stevens and his series of tubes. I don't think I need to go on.
Huh? That's either far too obscure or far too clever for me.
So Lewis did some stupid things as a kid. Big whoop. I feel for you if you can't say the same.
Kids will be kids and do stupid things. I bet much, much more harm is done falling from trees or diving into shallow water than with messing around with under-the-sink chemicals or fireworks. To punish curiosity and tomfoolery using anti-terror laws is f*cking absurd - that was the point being made.
Too right. If you can't use it to attract a metallic boat and thus escape Dr Kananga's alligators, I'm not interested.
"select this option with the mouse"
"select an option with a number and press RETURN"
Awwww, cute. *sniff*
Look, Paris is wiping away a tear too.
Actually, 64% don't.
In other words: "nice work if you can get it"
Great news for Nokia, and good for everyone to have a third player in the market.. I hope their market share continues to rise.
Ironically my lunchtime steak and ale pie - complete with delicious mash and gravy - cost £5.00.
(Should have saved this post for Friday, when it really would have hurt.)
You know, I always used to scoff at the idea that one man could be responsible for much of Apple's success. Ridiculous! [I thought] A company that size is the sum of all its employees. No single individual has that much influence!!
I could, just possibly, have been very wrong.
Your psychic powers are amazing. You knew all that was true just by reading his (or her) post!
If you do spoons too, then you are truly the successor to Uri Geller.
I blame the immigrants. Porn has also reduced the value of my home.
(c) Daily Mail
"The PM wants to get skin flicks banned from wireless networks in spaces such as coffee shops, libraries and railway stations."
Is there really a problem with people cracking one off in Starbucks, or on Platform 11 at Euston Station?
...what could possibly go wrong?
Bit right-wing and screamy, but the facts seem sound:
Margaret Hodge is a bit of a rent-a-gob. Pops up left, right and centre with media friendly quotes but no real solutions to the "problems" she's highlighting. She's a politician, in other words.
Without a picture, that makes almost no sense at all (to me). But it sound very convincing!
15 petabytes sounds a lot cooler :)
Yes. We got that implication. First sentence of article:
hypocrite honcho at Google Eric Schmidt
See what they did there?
I don't think any country should ban the swastika (even if you put aside its use in Hinduism and Buddhism).
If people want to identify themselves as racist, antisemitic, cro-magnon morons, that's entirely up to them.
I've never seen 'intriguing' used as a synonym for 'moronic' before. Still, I dare say they'll not be as bad as those miniscule bluetooth earpieces which make you look like a sherry-swilling tramp (merkin-speak: hobo).
Calibre (with the Kindle plugin) is your friend.
Even if you haven't got a non-Kindle reader I'd highly recommend it. Who knows what future DRM debacle will render your lovely ebook collection unreadable otherwise.
The wheels are also very heavy (unless it was the nose gear they contain brakes powerful enough to slow down several hundred tonnes of aircraft - that ain't light), and are still spinning on retraction.
Given the take-off speed of a long-haul jet is around 200 mph, that's going to be a very messy - and mercifully short - meeting of man and rubber.
That is all.
Surely the easiest way is just to move the orbit of the Earth (or Mars, if you're lazy) so it's perpendicular to the current orbital plane. Blackouts will still occur, but much less often.
While we're at it, we could re-spin the Earth putting the North Pole closer to Alaska, and thus moving blighty to warmer climes. It's been snowing all f*cking day. In f*cking April, for f*cking f*cks sake!
Water going down a plughole = Stars around a black hole. Ta-da!
I'm still waiting for my Nobel.