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* Posts by FartingHippo

651 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012

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The Man Who Fell to Earth: Plane plummet plod probe phone

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: Could he have survived the flight?

The wheels are also very heavy (unless it was the nose gear they contain brakes powerful enough to slow down several hundred tonnes of aircraft - that ain't light), and are still spinning on retraction.

Given the take-off speed of a long-haul jet is around 200 mph, that's going to be a very messy - and mercifully short - meeting of man and rubber.

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Norkoshop: How Pyongyang well and truly forked Adobe

FartingHippo
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WTF?

WTF?

That is all.

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Mars to go offline for a month as vast nuclear furnace gets in the way

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Re: We need a relay

Surely the easiest way is just to move the orbit of the Earth (or Mars, if you're lazy) so it's perpendicular to the current orbital plane. Blackouts will still occur, but much less often.

While we're at it, we could re-spin the Earth putting the North Pole closer to Alaska, and thus moving blighty to warmer climes. It's been snowing all f*cking day. In f*cking April, for f*cking f*cks sake!

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Why does our galaxy spiral?

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Waste of time and money

Water going down a plughole = Stars around a black hole. Ta-da!

I'm still waiting for my Nobel.

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If Google got a haircut, a tie and a suit, would it be Microsoft?

FartingHippo
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Google vs Microsoft

I don't mind Google sharing the browser market*, or the email client market*, or the productivity suite market* with Microsoft. Competition is a great thing for the end user. It was a lack of competition that resulted in the execrable IE6, or Windows ME.

What I really would mind was Google displacing MS at the top of the heap. That "do no evil" plaque is already looking tarnished, and a market dominance in areas other than ads would hasten its demise, I'm sure.

* Yes, I am aware that other products exist, but you know what I mean.

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Is UK web speech regulated? No.10: Er. We’ll get back to you

FartingHippo
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FAIL

@ Loyal Commenter

"I am pretty damn sure that my local council hasn't been using anti-terror laws to check if I have been putting my bins out on time" and "hyperbolic rhetoric"

Wrong on both counts, I'm afraid.

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FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Oh dear. Here we go again.

Remember those anti-terror laws? The ones intended for terrorist? You know, the ones your local council used to check you were putting your bins out on time? Yes, those ones.

When you hear a politician say "Oh, don't worry. Maybe the language could have been a little clearer, but I promise this won't be abused" you can safely assume that either:

a) they are stupid

b) they think you are stupid

c) they are lying through their teeth

d) any combination of the above

Because as sure a shit stinks a blogger is going to end up in a court sometime soon.

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We shall CRUSH you, puny ROBOT... with CHESS

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Re: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow ...

Aieeeeeeeee......!!!

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Ten serious sci-fi films for the sentient fan

FartingHippo
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Re: Silent Running

FWIW, I always found Silent Running a bit mawkish. I do like the fact that the robots were so small they to use amputees to operate them, though.

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FartingHippo
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Alien

Missed one

Plan 9 From Outer Space. A masterpiece of futurology.

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World's 'smallest' mobe unveiled in Japan

FartingHippo
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Re: Zoolander comes true!

Downvoted for making me look at that tw*t, and thus disrupting the harmony of my morning coffee.

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BRITAIN MUST DECLARE WAR on Cervinaean menace

FartingHippo
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Coat

Armed bears

The US constitution enshrines the right to arm bears.

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Reg readers brew up the ultimate cuppa

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Brewing Time

I find this is heavily dependent on the type of tea bag. Basically the posher the tea bag the more time it takes.

Tetley can be made in under a minute with a bit of judicious stirring and squeezing (what was consensus on squeezing the bag?!?), whereas Whole Earth Organic Earl Grey takes a good 5 minutes for a proper flavour to develop.

Complex business, eh.

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Farewell, Reg: This hack is hanging up her Apple jacket

FartingHippo
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Devil

Re: Boo!

Heh! Judging by the downvotes sprinkled on the good wishes, there's a lot of butt-hurt iFans out there.

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FartingHippo
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Unhappy

Boo!

Shame. I'll miss the troll-bait :)

Still, It's been a blast. Have fun at the WSJ.

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Twenty classic arcade games

FartingHippo
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Bestest Game Evar!

I suspect the 'best' coin-ops were the popular ones when you were 12-16 years old, however old you are.

(unless you're under 20, in which case you can just f*ck off back to your console)

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FartingHippo
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Stop

Re: Others

Galaxians? Pfff. We don't need your steenking Galaxians.

Galaga, though, is a whole other story.

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FartingHippo
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WTF?

Others

The definitive list will never be agreed on, but here are my faves from the era:

Bubble Bobble (I mean, come on! 100 levels, hidden portals, easter eggs galore)

Wonder Boy (I can still hum the music)

Shinobi

1943

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Wannabe infosec kiddies put Enigma Bombe machine to the test

FartingHippo
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Go

All enemy comms readable by dawn each day

it took an average of four hours each night to work out the day’s settings on each German military network, most of which were changed at midnight

That is very, very cool.

While it's widely recognised that this won (or at least shortened) the war, it must have been harrowing to have to ignore most of communications with the loss of thousands of lives. All to make sure the Germans kept believing their system was secure.

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Apple: OK, we tracked your every move... but let's call it a caching bug, m'kay?

FartingHippo
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Big Brother

Re: Easy now,

Oh, he's got a spine. He just doesn't give a shit about the little man. In ten year's time, this may well be very appropriate;

And on the pedestal these words appear --

"My name is Ozymandias Apple, king of kings:

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.'

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SpaceX rocket reaches orbit but Dragon fails to spit fire

FartingHippo
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Alien

It's the Vogons!

Flee! Must find lager and a towel. I'll start with the lager.

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Microwaves thrash fibre on speed... if you like two-nines uptime

FartingHippo
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Ooo you're so clever!

"It’s all about something called the refractive index, which is essentially how well (or poorly) light passes through a material."

Tsk.

For a site which deals with crypto and quantum mechanics on a regular basis (and sometime both together), that was rather patronizing. Plus it's basically wrong, in that the transparency of a material is a measure of 'how well light passes through'. In this context the refractive index is a proxy for the local value of c.

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Look out! PEAK WIND is COMING, warns top Harvard physicist

FartingHippo
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Peak Beans

When I hear 'Peak Wind', why do I suddenly get a vision of Blazing Saddles.

Childish? Probably. Funny? Hell, yes.

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Cheap iPhone mini 'makes sense' for world domination

FartingHippo
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Re: NO! It doesn't make sense. It would ruin Apple!

Agreed.

*lights joss stick, starts whalesong*

Apple has been firmly positioned as an aspirational brand for well over a decade. It differentiates itself by only selling the finest, most polished, most slickly designed shiny-shiny in the business. Owning an iProduct shows you can afford an iProduct, and a lot of people like that.

Producing a cheapo iPhone might provide a profit bump in the short-term, but would harm the brand by eroding prestige and undermining the whole reason that Apple is, well, Apple. I think that would translate into a loss in the long-term, and transform Apple into just another manufacturer of consumer electronics.

As a parallel, look how Burberry screwed its brand by selling cut-price tat to chavs - rolling in cash for a few years, then they bombed out and nearly folded after the fickle chavs moved on to other things.

[Yeah, I get that some people - and perhaps the majority of reg readers - don't but into this schtick, but millions of bozos others do. A visit to any Apple Store shows you that.]

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Happy birthday, LP: Can you believe it's only 65?

FartingHippo
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Go

Re: Size matters

Not a big deal at Uni: engineers always have nice big textbooks.

Guess an iPad does the job these days. iToke.

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FartingHippo
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Windows

What is this 'analog'?

Hmph. If you're talking about tech from way back then (and you're in the UK), then it's analogue, not analog.

That's as close to a grumpy-old-sod icon as I can find.

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Apple files 'iWatch' patent application

FartingHippo
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Re: In Redmond Microsoft fire the photo copiers up.

And yet, at the same time, no style at all.

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Sony promises PC-based PlayStation 4 for Christmas

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

@wolfetone

"Rouge Squadron II"

How does wearing blusher help defeat the empire?

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Samsung under fire over copy-paste bricking

FartingHippo
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Re: Bricking?

s'funny, I thought 'to brick' was transitive verb meaning 'to be very afraid'.

Peter was bricking it when he found out his boss had access to his internet history.

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Rid yourself of Adobe: New Firefox 19.0 gets JAVASCRIPT PDF viewer

FartingHippo
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FAIL

Re: I've been trying it.

@Chris007 - not sure what your beef is here.

I've configured Acrobat to not allow access to the internet, or use javascript, or media files, etc. If a PDF isn't just an electronic equivalent to a paper document, I don't want to know.

So here's a fail back at ya!

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FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: But does it work for local PDFs?

Just associate the extension with Firefox, no?

Or am I missing something fundamental.

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FartingHippo
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Re: I've been trying it.

Yep, since the Foxit issue I've been opening PDF's in Acrobat. Nice to have a light viewer back in the browser, and (naive as this may seem) I trust Mozilla's approach to security much more than Adobe or the maker of a third party reader.

Also, no speed issues at this end (so far).

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Boffins use DVD burner to scale graphene supercapacitors

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: I'm skeptical

Watching the vid it seems as though it's halfway between a capacitor and a battery. Super-quick recharge (capacitor) and then longish discharge (battery).

Super capacitor is a lot more media-friendly than "cattery" or - heaven forbid - "battacitor".

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Higgs data shows alternate reality will SWALLOW UNIVERSE

FartingHippo
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Re: Spider Robinson covered this a few years ago

Or Greg Egan's Schild's Ladder. Course in that case the new universe was expanding at 0.5c, so you could zip along in front of the boundary and poke it from a suitably equipped ship.

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Baby-boulder bowling burglar breaks Boulder Apple Store's $100k glass door

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

Re: Alternative title

Ahem. Actually: Apple's appliance advertising area atrophied after astounding attack.

Able assistance for amateur author's apostrophe angst.

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Satanic Renault takes hapless French bloke on 200km/h joyride

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Why not....

....just put a police 4x4 in front of him, and use it's not-inconsiderable braking power to slow down both cars. No way a Laguna could push a Land Cruiser (or similar) with brakes applied, unless their whole police force drives Renault 12s with comical sirens.

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Forget wireless power for phones - Korea's doing it for BUSES

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Re: Cooking on gas^H^H^H leccy?

I don't care how smart or swanky they make electric hobs, they'll have to prize my gas range from my cold, dead hands.

(c) Charlton Heston. Who is dead. And cold.

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Spotted: Android 4.2.2 update for Google Nexus devices

FartingHippo
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Go

@Ambivalent N7-owning AC

I love my N7. But then again, I don't use it for work, but as a media device.

Kindle, Netflix, surfing, casual gaming: it does all of those things will aplomb and it's light enough to hold comfortably on the tube, or when lying on my side in bed. The battery life is more than adequate too.

So I agree, it's a toy of sorts. But I've always loved toys, and this is a good one...

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NASA melts mysterious 'metal Martian flower' myth

FartingHippo
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Re: But still they come

Richard Burton's voice-over on that is fabutastic.

I was delighted to find it on Spotify a couple of months ago, and spent a very happy afternoon listening to it at work.

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Apple CEO Cook: 'Bizarre' shareholder lawsuit a 'silly sideshow'

FartingHippo
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Stop

Like Prozac?

When ever I've left an Apple store I feel more depressed than when I went in. Either I can't afford what I want or I have a nagging feeling I've spent a lot more than I should have.

So, more like anti-Prozac really.

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Pope resigns months after launching social networking effort

FartingHippo
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Angel

Re: bark of Saint Peter

On the other hand "Bark of Saint Bernard" would have been perfectly acceptable, although somewhat surreal.

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Dead Steve Jobs 'made Tim Cook sue Samsung' from beyond the grave

FartingHippo
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Is there anybody there?

I can just imagine Tim Cook and the rest of the Apple board sat there with a white, minimal Ouija Board, their sweaty palms resting on a puck mouse.

S...U...E...S...A...M...S...U...N...G

And the rest, as they say, is history.

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Playmobil punts bank-heist set to wide-eyed kiddies

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Good for them

*Caution: When-I-Were-A-Lad Rant*

Glad to see Playmobile bucking the trend for increasingly banal toys. It's the trend that has seen cap-guns, spud-guns, toy swords, and bow-and-arrows-with-suckers-on-the-end all but eradicated from toy emporia, but has seen the rise of increasingly sexualized girl-toys, 'cos that's just peachy.

Bought my lad a Playmobile cop van and was horrified that I felt mildly uncomfortable with the miniature shotgun and pistols. Note: horrified by my reaction, not the toy. I felt like I'd been brainwashed. Fortunately, he loves it, and he brought a tear to my eye by pretending to shoot his sister's doll with all the appropriate sound effects. Must join him in a shoot-out later...

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Brit boffins GANG-RESEARCH tiny LEDs for 1Gbps network

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

Re: "1980s research attempting to predict the future of computing"

I am indeed confused. A Paris Hilton moment...

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FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Anyone else thinking...

Would sort out the blackest of blacks race, for sure. No backlight leakage from a source that is actually OFF.

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FartingHippo
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Alert

"1980s research attempting to predict the future of computing"

The Xerox paper talks about 3G and bluetooth. 80s it aint.

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Schoolgirl's Hello Kitty catonaut soars to 93,000ft

FartingHippo
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Happy

Balloon burst

That's an amazing shot of the balloon burst.

(And awwwww).

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Samsung: Never mind Steve Jobs, let's snap off a piece of stylus biz

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: Vibrating pen? Interesting.

5mm? My sympathies.

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