FartingHippo • User • The Register Forums

Chester Cathedral smites net in Wi-Fi SMUT OUTRAGE

Monday 2nd December 2013 11:03 GMT FartingHippo

Would nun porn be ok?

Can't think of a more appropriate place to watch it.

Or does the reformation mean that's even worse then normal porn?

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Microsoft wields turkey knife, slices Surface to $199 for Black Friday

Friday 29th November 2013 16:57 GMT FartingHippo

Re: meh

Amazon are having a fire sale. Kindle File HD only £99!

ThankyouverymuchImhereallweek.

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Boffins release 44-MEEELLION-star Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Friday 29th November 2013 15:06 GMT FartingHippo

Changing brightness

Well, duh. Always going to happen with all those Dyson spheres being built.

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Dixons selling £68k gold, diamond, ruby and sapphire iPhone for Xmas

Friday 29th November 2013 14:54 GMT FartingHippo

Obvioulsy not a jeweler

"300 22 and a half carat VVS1 diamonds - the clearest ones know [sic] to humanity"

1. VVS1 - very very small internal inclusions. Internally flawless (IF) and flawless (F) are both better grades.

2. A half carat VVS1 of a reasonable colour (D to G say) would set you back a grand plus. I suspect that there are 22 and a half carats in total.

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New exploding whale vid once again shows true porpoise of internet

Thursday 28th November 2013 09:57 GMT FartingHippo

So very, very close to immortality

If Mr Orange had been standing 1 meter to the right he would have become an INTERNET LEGEND, and not just a character in another amusing video.

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Adorable, much-loved SEAHORSES are VICIOUS SLURPING KILLERS

Wednesday 27th November 2013 17:27 GMT FartingHippo

Isn't nature amazing?

That is all.

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Hooters, shooters and looters: Eidos’s Tomb Raider

Monday 25th November 2013 17:15 GMT FartingHippo

T-Rex

I almost shat myself when it appeared on TR1. I'd never seen anything like it before.

100% awesomeness.

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Undercover BBC man exposes Amazon worker drone's daily 11-mile trek

Monday 25th November 2013 13:50 GMT FartingHippo

Could be a lot worse

Anyone who has ever worked at a meat processing factory would testify to that.

Then again, Amazon are a juicy target, and it has never been hard to get the hand-wringing, grauniad-reading, polenta-munching residents of Islington riled up. Even odds that our intrepid journalist is from the same set, the poor lamb.

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'Best known female architect' angrily defends gigantic vagina

Monday 25th November 2013 11:33 GMT FartingHippo

Re: Compensating for something?

I think not. Unlike men, women rarely boast that it's REALLY BIG.

See also Profanisaurus: wizard's sleeve

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3D printing: 'Third industrial revolution' or a load of old cobblers?

Wednesday 20th November 2013 11:25 GMT FartingHippo

Re: I'm thinking of the attachments for hoover hoses.

Whatever floats your boat...

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Wednesday 20th November 2013 10:07 GMT FartingHippo

Re: Right now I can see only specialist application

Not convinced about there being one in every garage, but I could see self-service machines in supermarkets or DIY stores.

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Wednesday 20th November 2013 10:05 GMT FartingHippo

Re: Yes, a "solution looking for a problem"

Outside of disk drives, where are all these lasers? Pointers don't count. Neither do sharks with lasers of the "frikkin" variety.

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The ULTIMATE cuppa showdown: And the winner is...

Monday 18th November 2013 13:44 GMT FartingHippo

Earl Grey - VOTE NOW

I love the stuff; others hate it. Truly the Marmite of teas.

Commentards are invited to express their feelings for the perfumed brew using the voting buttons. I genuinely have no idea what the result will be...

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Flying 360° panoramic camera poised for lift-off

Friday 15th November 2013 11:24 GMT FartingHippo

Ha, ha.

Phil caaan't caa-aatch, Phil caaan't caa-aaatch.

Nur-nur-nur-nur. Girl.

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Bitcoin mining rig firm claims $3m revenue in just FOUR DAYS

Thursday 14th November 2013 17:40 GMT FartingHippo

Risk

Who's to say they're NOT mining away.

But I think the real reason is it's like those spades sold during the gold rush referred to in the article. You're guaranteed a profit from selling spades/rigs; when mining you're subject to the vagaries of a volatile market, one where a total collapse in value is still a real risk.

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How d'ya make a JPMorgan banker cry? Ask him questions on Twitter

Thursday 14th November 2013 14:12 GMT FartingHippo

PR morons

These companies' PR people must live in a dingy, unconnected cellar (lit with scented candles, natch). Is this is a surprise to anyone?

The Ryanair / O'Leary Twitter Q&A is perhaps the only time I've seen one of these things work in the firm's favour. Presumably because Ryanair troll their customers 24/7 anyway.

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Hackers steal 'FULL credit card details' of 376,000 people from Irish loyalty programme firm

Thursday 14th November 2013 13:47 GMT FartingHippo

Unbelievable

Surely this level of incompetence deserves a jail term, not just a fine. (I suspect payment of any fine will be a long time coming as their business collapses in short order.)

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Show us your Cook: Size is everything for Apple iWatch fans, apparently

Thursday 14th November 2013 13:33 GMT FartingHippo

Re: A much needed accessory

"or will they charge extra"

HAHAHAHAHAHA. What do you think?

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New Retina iPad Mini not sold out HOURS after launch - world REELS

Tuesday 12th November 2013 15:33 GMT FartingHippo

Ha!

That's Olympic gold medal winning snark :)

Have a pint.

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Right royal rumpus over remote-control 'RoboRoach'

Monday 11th November 2013 14:11 GMT FartingHippo

Fifth Element

Stolen from the film, no? The roach was fitted with a camera and slipped into the President's briefing room. And was then squashed bwah-hah-hah.

Milla Jovovich. Mmm....

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Samsung: Get ready to BEND OVER – foldable fondleslabs 'by 2016'...

Wednesday 6th November 2013 12:14 GMT FartingHippo

"rather terrible advert"

Ah, British understatement.

I cringed so hard my nadgers tried to crawl back up inside me.

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New US Apple factory will make INVINCIBLE sapphire glass for SHINY iThings

Tuesday 5th November 2013 11:25 GMT FartingHippo

Ditch the aluminium

There's got to a market for a Sapphire and Steel iPhone.

[young people: google it]

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Staying power: The small screen spans of the eleven Doctor Whos

Monday 4th November 2013 15:06 GMT FartingHippo

Worst infographic EVER

They're meant to assist understanding the data, not obfuscate it. A key would be have been helpful too.

Sometimes an old fashioned bar chart it just what the doctor ordered...

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LOHAN's mighty thruster poised for hot coupling

Monday 4th November 2013 14:45 GMT FartingHippo

Re: Drool

As long as its just drool that your keyboard's dripping with.

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Helium-filled disks lift off: You can't keep these 6TB beasts down

Monday 4th November 2013 12:10 GMT FartingHippo

Re: What about my mp3s?

No. Nor will you have to tether your PC it to the ground to stop it floating away.

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New Forum Wishlist - but read roadmap first

Wednesday 30th October 2013 17:06 GMT FartingHippo

Longer log ins

Why do I have to re-enter my credentials every day? Disqus, vanilla and several others do not require this.

If you insist I re-enter my password intermittently, please can it be weekly, or at worst every 72 hours?

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Moto sets out plans for crafty snap-together PODULAR PHONES

Tuesday 29th October 2013 16:22 GMT FartingHippo

BAD idea

Imagine dropping one of those buggers in a busy pub. 30 fiddly little parts scattered across the floor.

Train platform droppage: also bad.

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Digital radio may replace FM altogether - even though nobody wants it

Tuesday 29th October 2013 14:43 GMT FartingHippo

Re: 30% seems high to me

Well I've got a DAB in my Ford - didn't ask for one, just came with it. Also a DAB in the kitchen. So on that sample 30% is ludicrously low.

Good job polling companies question enough people to render our anecdotes worthless, isn't it.

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The Raspberry Pi: Is it REALLY the saviour of British computing?

Monday 28th October 2013 12:27 GMT FartingHippo

Re: HDMI not compulsory

"How many parents in the 80s bought Timmy an 8 bit micro thinking they were helping with his education only to end up with an expert in Jetset Willy?"

My parents, for one. Mugs :)

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Everything's going to be all white: Google Nexus 5 mobe expected Friday

Monday 28th October 2013 12:23 GMT FartingHippo

"The underground is about the last place I'd bring out my phone"

Really? You're in a minority. I'd estimate I see 70% of people fiddling with either a phone or a tablet on my morning commute (not at the same time - but over the course of the trip). Higher than that amongst the smug gits with a seat.

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Google burns promise of 'no big banner ads'. Don't Be Evil next?

Thursday 24th October 2013 18:13 GMT FartingHippo

"very limited, US-only test"

I've heard that sort of thing before. Funny how elastic those limits can be.

Still, at least the "blink" tag is dead.

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Surface 2 and iPad Air: Prepare to meet YOUR DOOM under a 'Landfill Android' AVALANCHE

Thursday 24th October 2013 11:07 GMT FartingHippo

Units!!!

From the article:

Apple’s iPad Air is 7.5mm thick, weighs 478g

Microsoft’s Surface Pro 2...is 1.3cm thick and weighs 2lb

Surface 2 is 676g and 8.89mm thick.

Sheesh. As you clearly don't know: 10mm = 1cm and 454g = 1lb. Pick one of each and stick to it. Also, put the weight and thickness in the same order. You know, to help the reader.

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Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson battles bullfighting

Wednesday 23rd October 2013 13:53 GMT FartingHippo

"Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson battles bullfighting"

Surely "Buxom Baywatch Babe Battles Barbaric Bullfighting" would have been the way to go.

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Ryanair boss Mike O'Leary hits Twitter: 'Nice pic. Phwoaaarr!'

Tuesday 22nd October 2013 12:40 GMT FartingHippo

Re: "Look at me!!!!! I'm an attention whore!!!!"

Yep. O'Leary is a dick and travelling Ryanair is a miserable and frustrating experience. Yet they're arguably the most successful airline in the world over the last 20 years, and they keep on growing. And growing. And growing.

Would you mess with the formula?

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Black hole boffins close in on gravity waves

Monday 21st October 2013 09:09 GMT FartingHippo

Re: So.... 11 years from now...

Pff. Proper jet packs or I'm going back to bed.

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'Please, steal my phone' TV ads by T-Mobile US slammed by legal eagles

Wednesday 16th October 2013 22:46 GMT FartingHippo

I agree - NOT funny

Not because it's "offensive", but because it's what's know in the business as "shit"

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Price rises and power cuts by 2016? Thank the EU's energy policy

Tuesday 15th October 2013 11:29 GMT FartingHippo

WTF is wrong with our politicians?!

These plants... that are indispensable to ensure security of supply during peak hours... are being replaced by volatile and non-schedulable renewable energy installations that are heavily subsidized.

I repeat: What the FUCK is wrong with our politicians?!

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Island-hopping Beardy Branson: I'm dodging rain, not taxes

Monday 14th October 2013 14:48 GMT FartingHippo

Re: what's a sq acre?

Either an acre which is bounded by four sides of just under 70 yards each, or an acre which is not hip, daddy-o.

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Microsoft covers Brit who penetrated Windows 8.1 with GOLD

Wednesday 9th October 2013 13:59 GMT FartingHippo

I applaud this approach

Shame it took 15* years to get to the point where falling market share whittled away MS's arrogance to the point they saw the benefit of bounty programmes like this.

* 15 years takes you to the mid 90's, when the increasingly connected world pushed security flaws right up the list of "things to worry about"

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