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* Posts by FartingHippo

651 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012

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Boffins' brilliant plan: CONCRETE COMPUTERS

FartingHippo
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Devil

Concrete vs Cement

Amusingly, given the context of the article, you make concrete by adding chips to the cement. (Chips of gravel, that is.)

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Hey, you, dev. What do you mean, storage is BORING?

FartingHippo
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Zzzz

Wha' ... huh? Platters you say? .... Zzzzz...

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Judge: Evidence will likely show Apple DID fix ebook prices

FartingHippo
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Go

Break it up!!

Standard Oil 2.0

I jest, but then again I will be highly amused should Apple get a kicking in court.

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Daft tweet by Speaker Bercow's loquacious wife DID libel lord

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INSIDE GCHQ: Welcome to Cheltenham's cottage industry

FartingHippo
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Coffee/keyboard

"anyone can get their balls out and whack them off among the sheep"

Naughty!

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Did Kim Dotcom invent 2-factor authentication? Er, not exactly...

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: I think he holds both patent and prior art ...

Now wait a minute, that's really not fair: you missed out "salad-dodging".

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Orange customer clobbered with SIX-FIGURE phone bill

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Whilst I fully support "MOP" as a unit of mobile data use...

Oh, no, no, no.

The mop (it's lower case) is defined as "the data required to transmit the 11th minute of Debbie Does Dallas encoded in the MPEG-4 Part 14 format (2nd edition), at a definition of 640x480"

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FartingHippo
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Boffin

There's only one way to measure data usage

Data usage should be in terms of Minutes of Porn (1 mop = xx Mb*).

"He used about 12 kilomops, whereas his normal monthly usage was a few hundred milimops" etc, etc.

* Let's assume SD - because HD on a phone screen is a waste of bandwidth. Hopefully more technical commentards can help with the actual conversion rate...

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Tipsters exposed after South Africa's national police force hacked

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

"Tipsters exposed after South Africa's national police force hacked"

There are so many things wrong with that I don't know where to begin.

"face palm" doesn't even come close.

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Smartwatch face off: Pebble, MetaWatch and new hi-tech timepieces

FartingHippo
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Go

Re: Tools

And that may be why the iWatch sweeps all the other contenders aside. One thing for sure, it'll be a whole lot better looking that the fugly mothers in the article.

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Petshop iPad fanboi charged with filming up young model's skirt

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Shoes are the way forward...

Those crazy Japanese with their shoe-cameras:

In 2010

And 2011

It happened in the UK too. A certain...oh, I see a theme here...Ryoji Ogi of North Finchley.

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Gay marriage? We'll put a stop to that 'human BUG', says Nintendo

FartingHippo
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Devil

Re: Same Sex Marrage

Really? Whenever there's a gay scandal*, odds on it's a Tory MP.

*Why being gay is viewed as a 'scandal' in this day and age is a whole other topic.

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Nvidia opens pre-orders for handheld Shield console three days early

FartingHippo
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Thumb Up

Re: Hmmm

My thoughts exactly.

Jaguar, anyone?

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IT bloke publishes comprehensive maps of CALL CENTRE menu HELL

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Re: Brilliant

You missed a bit:

"Sorry wrong department, I'll just transfer you over"

*click* ... *dial tone* ... *scream*

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I said ‘no’ to a million-pound Tech City empire

FartingHippo
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Holmes

NOW it makes sense...

"a maximum of five people rattling about in 2,000 square feet of office space"

"my client purchased a cheap office in an East End dump that ... has transformed into a million-pound property"

Why didn't he sell years ago, then? What a moron.

"at least one day a week is enlivened by the sight of lingerie models padding around the site, usually in their lingerie."

Ah. I see.

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Japan begins planning exascale super

FartingHippo
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Stop

Billion cores?

Are you sure? Several million cores, maybe.

K had 705,000 cores, 10 Petaflops, and commissioned in 2011. Several years of chip development later (the new monster is due in 2020) I can't see it needing ~1,400 times that number of cores for just 100 times the floppage(TM).

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PERIL in ORBIT: ISS leak plugged in FIVE-HOUR spacewalk

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Five and a half hours!?

I'd have done it in 10 minutes with a roll of duct tape.

Amateurs.

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On the hunt for a new ampere

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: The problem is how many electrons in an Ampere.

"roughly pi giga seconds in a year"

Tsk. No. About 10 x pi megaseconds, unless your definition of roughly is very different to mine. Back to school, young man.

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Ancient thumb-driven whirly-wheel smartmobe UI ported to Android

FartingHippo
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Go

Chu Chu!

UI - whatever.

But thanks for using an image with Chu Chu Rocket highlighted. Brought back some memories and has left me 69p lighter in the wallet department. Cheap at thrice the price :)

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Lego fan constructs Bletchley Park Colossus

FartingHippo
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Pint

Good work that man

Have a pint.

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Stroke my sexy see-through backside, says Jobs from BEYOND THE GRAVE

FartingHippo
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Coat

Re: A method

There are many situations where a small hole, rather than a large one, is preferable.

For more info, check out "wizard's sleeve" in the Profanosarus.

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FartingHippo
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WTF?

Huh?

"as previously the iPhone mobes tended to look like your average mobile phone. Now, however, they look like iPod Touches after Steve's koumpounophobia made him strip back the mechanism to a touch screen and (horror of horrors) one great big, horrible, clicky button."

Since when did iPhone mobes look like an average mobile phone? Did I miss a generation? Did the iPhone 0 have a number pad?

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Boffins' invisible magnetic ring pieces: Next-gen mobe emitters

FartingHippo
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Stop

SI prefixes are useful

"500 billionths of a metre wide and 10nm thick"

Really? Two ways of writing the same unit in one sentence!? Is that helpful?

Answer: NO

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Ray Harryhausen, king of stop motion, takes final voyage

FartingHippo
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Pirate

Legend

Went to see him give a talk in Bristol about 10 years ago. He was interviewed by Phil Jupitus (who, it transpired, was a huge, huge fan).

About an hour in, Ray reached into the bag he'd dumped by his chair and retrieved one of the original Argonauts skeletons. The 300 people in the audience all took a short intake of breath, and held it. It was geek nirvana :)

An amazingly likeable and modest man. We'll not see his like again.

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PLAGUE of SEX CRAZED MONSTER GRASSHOPPERS to hit East Coast

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Primes

Even more interestingly, there's another species which runs on a 13-year cycle, so they'll only meet the 17-year bugs every 221 years.

Insects are cool.

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Google's Schmidt calls for 'DELETE from INTERWEBS' button

FartingHippo
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Re: Schmidt

He's friends with Ted Stevens and his series of tubes. I don't think I need to go on.

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Peak Apple: Foxconn contemplating life after Cupertino

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

Re: Laudable but...

Huh? That's either far too obscure or far too clever for me.

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Movie review: Star Trek Into Darkness

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: Flame in three, two...

[citation needed]

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Thousands rally behind teen girl cuffed, expelled in harmless 'explosion'

FartingHippo
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FAIL

Re: Oh Lewis!

So Lewis did some stupid things as a kid. Big whoop. I feel for you if you can't say the same.

Kids will be kids and do stupid things. I bet much, much more harm is done falling from trees or diving into shallow water than with messing around with under-the-sink chemicals or fireworks. To punish curiosity and tomfoolery using anti-terror laws is f*cking absurd - that was the point being made.

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Brit horologist hammers out ‘first’ ATOMIC-POWERED watch

FartingHippo
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Re: Screw the iWatch

Too right. If you can't use it to attract a metallic boat and thus escape Dr Kananga's alligators, I'm not interested.

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Is this the first ever web page? If not, CERN would like to know

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

I've just been peeling onions, dammit

"select this option with the mouse"

"select an option with a number and press RETURN"

Awwww, cute. *sniff*

Look, Paris is wiping away a tear too.

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Fanbois vs fandroids: Punters display 'tribal loyalty'

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Actually, 64% don't.

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FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: Sounds like the author is committing the same sin

In other words: "nice work if you can get it"

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iPhone 5 totters at the top as Samsung thrusts up UK mobe chart

FartingHippo
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Back from the brink?

Great news for Nokia, and good for everyone to have a third player in the market.. I hope their market share continues to rise.

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Fried-egg sarnies kick off Reg man's quid-a-day nosh challenge

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Not joining you. Sorry.

Ironically my lunchtime steak and ale pie - complete with delicious mash and gravy - cost £5.00.

(Should have saved this post for Friday, when it really would have hurt.)

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Ten ancestors of the netbook

FartingHippo
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Go

Re: Standards Dropping

Quite right. Here a link for other disappointed commentards.

"that picture"

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You hear that, Mr Cook? Samsung's profits have gone UP

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Cult of Jobs

You know, I always used to scoff at the idea that one man could be responsible for much of Apple's success. Ridiculous! [I thought] A company that size is the sum of all its employees. No single individual has that much influence!!

I could, just possibly, have been very wrong.

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Reg hack to starve on £1 a day for science

FartingHippo
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Trollface

@AC No.2

Your psychic powers are amazing. You knew all that was true just by reading his (or her) post!

If you do spoons too, then you are truly the successor to Uri Geller.

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Cameron: Get those saucy websites off Blighty's public Wi-Fi

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Re: It's about time!

I blame the immigrants. Porn has also reduced the value of my home.

(c) Daily Mail

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FartingHippo
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WTF?

I must live a sheltered life

"The PM wants to get skin flicks banned from wireless networks in spaces such as coffee shops, libraries and railway stations."

Is there really a problem with people cracking one off in Starbucks, or on Platform 11 at Euston Station?

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CISPA row: Slurped citizen data is ENORMO HACK TARGET - infosec boss

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

So, in summary...

...what could possibly go wrong?

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Google's teeny UK tax bill 'just not right', thunders senior MP

FartingHippo
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Re: Can we check one thing?

Bit right-wing and screamy, but the facts seem sound:

http://order-order.com/tag/hodge

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FartingHippo
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Holmes

Well said

Margaret Hodge is a bit of a rent-a-gob. Pops up left, right and centre with media friendly quotes but no real solutions to the "problems" she's highlighting. She's a politician, in other words.

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iPhone too heavy? Volkswagen brings out motorised ride-on dock

FartingHippo
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Stop

iBeetle?

iBoughtThisCarTenYearsAgoAndNowItsFullOfOutdatedUselessShit

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Readers, we need you... for LOHAN ignition failsafe brainwaves

FartingHippo
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Devil

Re: Slippery rings

Without a picture, that makes almost no sense at all (to me). But it sound very convincing!

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The Reg puts Vulture inside the Large Hadron Collider

FartingHippo
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Boffin

15 million gigabytes

15 petabytes sounds a lot cooler :)

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'He's F**KED with the wrong nerd ... I warned I'd go public'

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Re: Eric, fixed that for you:

Yes. We got that implication. First sentence of article:

when head hypocrite honcho at Google Eric Schmidt

See what they did there?

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Are biofuels Europe's sh*ttiest idea ever?

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Betteridge's Law says 'No'

I don't think any country should ban the swastika (even if you put aside its use in Hinduism and Buddhism).

If people want to identify themselves as racist, antisemitic, cro-magnon morons, that's entirely up to them.

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Samsung vs Apple: which smartphone do Reg readers prefer?

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: Smartphones are for yesterday's cool kids.

I've never seen 'intriguing' used as a synonym for 'moronic' before. Still, I dare say they'll not be as bad as those miniscule bluetooth earpieces which make you look like a sherry-swilling tramp (merkin-speak: hobo).

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Kobo strikes new match against Kindle: The Aura HD e-reader

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: Sorry Kobo, I would like a Kindle version please

Calibre (with the Kindle plugin) is your friend.

Even if you haven't got a non-Kindle reader I'd highly recommend it. Who knows what future DRM debacle will render your lovely ebook collection unreadable otherwise.

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