* Posts by FartingHippo

691 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012

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Apple ships new iPods in 'SPAAAAACE ... Gray'

FartingHippo
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Boffin

What is this "gray"?

Gray? The colorcolour you're looking for is Space Grey.

Tch. Damn colonials!

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Tell me why I don't like Moon days: Bob Geldof heads into SPAAACE

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: Tell me why I don't like Moon days

You're both right.

It's so bad, it's good :)

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Apple's no-news Beijing event leaves it adrift in China

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: Shareprice in freefall

"Lets wait until the price settles before we start with the snarky remarks shall we?"

That would be no fun at all!! Nothing cheers me up on a morning like a dose of fanboi angst.

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UK investor throws £14.8m at firm that makes UNFORGEABLE 2-cent labels

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: Impossible to forge?

A lot of people here with only a vague understanding of how the product actually works are confidently stating it's crap and unworkable. They might be right, BUT...

Say what you like about investment bankers, but they hire some very smart people and I find it unbelievable that £15m has been spaffed on a technology that could be as trivially circumvented as has been suggested.

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Google Nexus 7 2013: Fondledroids, THE 7-inch slab has arrived

FartingHippo
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Re: iPad Mini 2

Love my N7. Only niggle is a little back-light bleed and screen burn, but this is only noticeable in very low ambient light and a dark-ish image.

Assuming a year of QA improvements have addressed the bleed, I'm very tempted to upgrade at xmas.

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Headmaster calls cops, tries to dash pupil's uni dreams - over a BLOG

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Seems pretty switched on to me

has even said that there is an inherent risk that every government is corrupt

Sherlock there is thinking "No shit".

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Kim Dotcom quits Mega to head new political party, fight extradition

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Not a NZ Citizen = not an MP

Not sure why it's a fail. He hasn't claimed to be running for office, just founding a party.

I wish him luck. It's a much more grown up approach to changing the system than those eejits at Anonymous have ever managed.

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But it's only wafer thin: Skinniest keyboard EVER is designed by Camby biz

FartingHippo
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Unhappy

Re: Exactly

The lack of Milla Jovovich in my real life is probably the most important and most depressing difference.

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Compact Cassette supremo Lou Ottens talks to El Reg

FartingHippo
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Pint

Thank you Lou Ottens

You and a boat-load of WH Smitths C15's made owning a ZX Spectrum affordable for a twelve-year-old.

Have a pint.

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Billionaire Google founder splits with wife, allegedly beds Google Glass minx

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

WTF?

Must have typed popbitch rather than theregister. Silly me.

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Vulture 2 spaceplane rises from the powdered nylon

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: says

Still beats a helmet in your crack though.

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Selfie twerks its way into the dictionary

FartingHippo
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Re: verb, schmerb

Verbing weirds language.

(c) Calvin and Hobbes

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Web showered in golden iPhone 5S vid glory - but is it all a DISTRACTION?

FartingHippo
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Re: Naming convention?

Crappier

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12 simple rules: How Ted Codd transformed the humble database

FartingHippo
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Stop

update wikipedia

Well, someone's done it now.

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Kiwi jetpack gets all-clear for manned tests

FartingHippo
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Happy

Re: Missing a laser

Upvote for provoking a misty-eyed reminiscence. All that joy in just 16kb...

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PEAK Apple: Cupertino's hopes died with Steve Jobs, says Larry Ellison

FartingHippo
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Thumb Up

Re: Really

"he can always call on the Great British talents of Sir Clive Sinclair"

My favourite thing about Clive is that he's married to an ex-lap dancer 35 years younger than he is. And why not; after all, you can't take it with you :)

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ULTIMATE cuppa contenders prepare to go mug-to-mug

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: Eh, it's not a real tea-tasting unless you have.....

The tea wasn't that good.

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FartingHippo
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Devil

Re: Correction

You're an audiophile too, aren't you.

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Wikipedians say no to Jimmy's 'buggy' WYSIWYG editor

FartingHippo
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Holmes

They'll get used to it

Given the, erm, peculiar social skills, superiority complex, and all-round megalomania of elite wikifiddlers, it's no wonder they feel threatened by a WYSIWIG interface which will open up the wiki to more people. Sort of like uber-hackers getting all pissy about being lumped in with script kiddies.

They'll just have to fall back on extensive knowledge of wiki's byzantine rules and policies, and misuse their admin privileges to maintain their 'status'.

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Edward Snowden skips into Russia as Putin grants him asylum

FartingHippo
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Alien

Re: Meanwhile, Mr. Assange™ Says...

Julian's going to end up looking like a less-affluent version of Howard Hughes in a couple of decades.

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HALF of air passengers leave phones on ... yet STILL no DEATH PLUNGE

FartingHippo
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Trollface

You sound in dire need of a smart phone to give you more interesting things to do :)

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FartingHippo
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Pint

Re: Never any danger

Bingo. Have an upvote and a pint.

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Wikileaker Bradley Manning's court martial verdict expected today

FartingHippo
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Stop

Re: Well of course he's aided the enemy

And yet he's been found not guilty by those with far more information than you...

So it seems I need to read posts more carefully before firing off a reply. Still, good news he's been cleared of that charge at least.

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Japanese boffins build 'robotic skin'

FartingHippo
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Terminator

Re: Robotic Skin?

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. I saw stretchy circuits glued to an arm. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

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BAN UK tax breaks on patented tech, fumes German finance minister

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Re: @Wolfgang Schäuble

Indeed. It's times like these that you realise just how misguided CND are.

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STEVE BALLMER KILLS WINDOWS

FartingHippo
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Angel

Oo, oo, I know!!

Is it a part of the business famed for its simian boogying?

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Caterpillar B15: The Android smartphone for the building site

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

...torches can be like pencils or tape-measures...

Pencils and torches i can understand: both are cylindrical and will roll quite happily under the washing machine or workbench or whatever.

But tape measures? I must go through 4 or 5 a year. It might explain what the tooth fairy gets up to in the daytime, though.

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Dead STEVE JOBS was a CROOK - Judge

FartingHippo
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Devil

Article title

Outstanding. Easily the most linkbaitiest linkbait I've seen in a long time.

Trebles all round!

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Patriot hacker 'The Jester' attacks nations offering Snowden help

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: This guy has done loads of stuff.

Welcome to the real world. It's a dark, depressing and utterly cynical place.

And with that nihilistic thought, to the pub...

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Something's going on with Google Reader but nobody knows what

FartingHippo
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Devil

Re: Feel sorry for the saps

It must do(1). Wherever I go(2) there are people telling me how Opera did everything years before everything else.

Notes:

1) I have no idea whether Opera can do this

2) Which is quite clearly nowhere exciting

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Jiggy Pennsylvania couple busted by 25 bike cops

FartingHippo
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Alien

@ Great Bu

Rather, if there is a god, it is a cruel and sadistic one.

<--- my face after clicking link. Nearly saw my pain au raisin for the second time this morning.

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Windows 8.1: Here at last, but is it good enough?

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

Speak your brains

Surely "spEak You're bRanes ", no?

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Apple's $17bn bond sale not such a good deal for investors

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

"that are getting sc***ed"

That's not even especially fucking rude, for fucking fuck's sake! What the fuck is this? Fucking Kindergarten?

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Boffins light way to photonic computing with 1PB DVD tech

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Re: I look forward to payin £20 per disk for this sort of technolgy

"Does anybody still copy music tracks to CD's or DVD's?"

Yep, and pictures too.

Admittedly I'm a paranoid SOB who wants a hard (well, physical) copy of his data in case the internet breaks at the same time as my laptop. Or, more likely, my backups on the cloud are lost/deleted/corrupted/seized-by-the-feds, and I only find this out when I'm trying to restore everything after my laptop gets nicked/burnt/dropped/hit-with-an-EMP.

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BBC lied to Parliament about doomed £100m IT monster, thunder MPs

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

"The UK is arguably the most tech-savvy nation on the planet."

[citation needed]

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Bill Gates slurps bigger share of Olympics bungle-boys G4S

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: To be fair...

Do not take up politics, far too many facts and reasonable analysis there.

It's all about the blame. Gov 1 : G4S 0.

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Tim Cook: Android version fragmentation is 'terrible for developers'

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: MICROSOFT FAIL FAIL.

@ 1st AC

I think you missed the double 'fail'.

You are not not a moron.

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'Nothing will convince a kid that's never worn glasses to wear them'

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Re: Nothing that will convince a kid that's never worn glasses or a band to wear one.

Forget that, just partner with Ray-Ban and tint them brown.

Changing from glasses to sunglasses makes them instantly cool. FACT.

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Never mind your little brother - happy 10th birthday, H.264

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

My. Brain. Hurts.

I vaguely, in a hand-wavy kind of way, knew that information in a frame that didn't change from the previous one could be 'compressed'. Meaning it didn't have to be transmitted again, just the location of the unchanged pixel. And thus digital television worked!

However, it appears my understanding was like thinking quantum mechanics is all about rolling dice...

Fascinating article. Cheers John.

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Wonder substance pulses QUADRILLION lasers per second

FartingHippo
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Holmes

You could. But it would cost one hundred beeeeelion dollars.

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Boffins' brilliant plan: CONCRETE COMPUTERS

FartingHippo
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Devil

Concrete vs Cement

Amusingly, given the context of the article, you make concrete by adding chips to the cement. (Chips of gravel, that is.)

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Hey, you, dev. What do you mean, storage is BORING?

FartingHippo
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Coat

Zzzz

Wha' ... huh? Platters you say? .... Zzzzz...

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Judge: Evidence will likely show Apple DID fix ebook prices

FartingHippo
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Go

Break it up!!

Standard Oil 2.0

I jest, but then again I will be highly amused should Apple get a kicking in court.

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Daft tweet by Speaker Bercow's loquacious wife DID libel lord

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INSIDE GCHQ: Welcome to Cheltenham's cottage industry

FartingHippo
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Coffee/keyboard

"anyone can get their balls out and whack them off among the sheep"

Naughty!

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Did Kim Dotcom invent 2-factor authentication? Er, not exactly...

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: I think he holds both patent and prior art ...

Now wait a minute, that's really not fair: you missed out "salad-dodging".

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Orange customer clobbered with SIX-FIGURE phone bill

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Whilst I fully support "MOP" as a unit of mobile data use...

Oh, no, no, no.

The mop (it's lower case) is defined as "the data required to transmit the 11th minute of Debbie Does Dallas encoded in the MPEG-4 Part 14 format (2nd edition), at a definition of 640x480"

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FartingHippo
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Boffin

There's only one way to measure data usage

Data usage should be in terms of Minutes of Porn (1 mop = xx Mb*).

"He used about 12 kilomops, whereas his normal monthly usage was a few hundred milimops" etc, etc.

* Let's assume SD - because HD on a phone screen is a waste of bandwidth. Hopefully more technical commentards can help with the actual conversion rate...

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Tipsters exposed after South Africa's national police force hacked

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

"Tipsters exposed after South Africa's national police force hacked"

There are so many things wrong with that I don't know where to begin.

"face palm" doesn't even come close.

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Smartwatch face off: Pebble, MetaWatch and new hi-tech timepieces

FartingHippo
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Go

Re: Tools

And that may be why the iWatch sweeps all the other contenders aside. One thing for sure, it'll be a whole lot better looking that the fugly mothers in the article.

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