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* Posts by FartingHippo

651 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012

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UNREAL, dude: Nvidia uncloaks Tegra K1 graphics monster for your mobile ... and CAR

FartingHippo
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Alien

Crop Circle

Fair play on the circle. An awful lot of thought went into the design, and the execution was pretty damned slick too.

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Parents can hide abortion, contraception advice from kids, thanks to BT's SEX-ED web block

FartingHippo
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Trollface

I'm amazed this has gone wrong so quickly

Only kidding.

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Sega’s Out Run: Even better than the wheel thing

FartingHippo
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Re: Memories...

There were dip switches you could use to set the time added at each check point. Our local arcade owner was a gold-plated c**t who set it so it was virtually impossible to finish and hence the games played per hour was higher.

It was still a busy machine despite the evil difficulty level.

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BT network-level STOCKINGs-n-suspenders KILLER arrives in time for Xmas

FartingHippo
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Re: Don't worry.

About as much chance as Canute had, I'd say.

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Fisher-Price in hot seat: iPad bouncy chair lets APPLE BABYSIT tots – parents

FartingHippo
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Boffin

It's called a 'crate'.

That bit at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark? Actually a giant kindergarten.

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Shivering boffins nail Earth's coldest spot

FartingHippo
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Coat

Pfff. Slightly chilly at best.

My wife can made our living room much colder than that with a single stare if (ok, when) I forget an anniversary. Then I get to stay there and sleep on the sofa. Brrrrr. Parky.

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Boffins devise world's HARDEST tongue-twister

FartingHippo
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Coat

Re: But the real prize goes to ...

Presumably best friends with Dr Michael Hfuhruhurr and Miss Anne Uumellmahaye.

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On the matter of shooting down Amazon delivery drones with shotguns

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: Guns won't work, so let's look at alternatives...

Trebuchet firing a net made from wire, with perimeter weighted with something heavy and with small cross-section. Would need some sort of guide to impart spin as it was launched.

Also, the whole assembly would need mounting on a turntable.

Or, alternatively, use this new pulse weapon. This actually looks perfect for the task in hand, assuming a little more range could be squeezed out.

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What is thy bidding? Han Solo’s shooter goes under the hammer

FartingHippo
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Thumb Up

Excellent timing

As I was just about to renew my mortgage.

Now, do I tell the wife?

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Chester Cathedral smites net in Wi-Fi SMUT OUTRAGE

FartingHippo
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Alert

Would nun porn be ok?

Can't think of a more appropriate place to watch it.

Or does the reformation mean that's even worse then normal porn?

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Microsoft wields turkey knife, slices Surface to $199 for Black Friday

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: meh

Amazon are having a fire sale. Kindle File HD only £99!

ThankyouverymuchImhereallweek.

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Boffins release 44-MEEELLION-star Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

FartingHippo
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Alien

Changing brightness

Well, duh. Always going to happen with all those Dyson spheres being built.

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Dixons selling £68k gold, diamond, ruby and sapphire iPhone for Xmas

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Obvioulsy not a jeweler

"300 22 and a half carat VVS1 diamonds - the clearest ones know [sic] to humanity"

1. VVS1 - very very small internal inclusions. Internally flawless (IF) and flawless (F) are both better grades.

2. A half carat VVS1 of a reasonable colour (D to G say) would set you back a grand plus. I suspect that there are 22 and a half carats in total.

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New exploding whale vid once again shows true porpoise of internet

FartingHippo
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So very, very close to immortality

If Mr Orange had been standing 1 meter to the right he would have become an INTERNET LEGEND, and not just a character in another amusing video.

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Adorable, much-loved SEAHORSES are VICIOUS SLURPING KILLERS

FartingHippo
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Happy

Isn't nature amazing?

That is all.

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Hooters, shooters and looters: Eidos’s Tomb Raider

FartingHippo
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Happy

T-Rex

I almost shat myself when it appeared on TR1. I'd never seen anything like it before.

100% awesomeness.

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Undercover BBC man exposes Amazon worker drone's daily 11-mile trek

FartingHippo
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Could be a lot worse

Anyone who has ever worked at a meat processing factory would testify to that.

Then again, Amazon are a juicy target, and it has never been hard to get the hand-wringing, grauniad-reading, polenta-munching residents of Islington riled up. Even odds that our intrepid journalist is from the same set, the poor lamb.

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'Best known female architect' angrily defends gigantic vagina

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: Compensating for something?

I think not. Unlike men, women rarely boast that it's REALLY BIG.

See also Profanisaurus: wizard's sleeve

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3D printing: 'Third industrial revolution' or a load of old cobblers?

FartingHippo
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Gimp

Re: I'm thinking of the attachments for hoover hoses.

Whatever floats your boat...

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FartingHippo
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Re: Right now I can see only specialist application

Not convinced about there being one in every garage, but I could see self-service machines in supermarkets or DIY stores.

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FartingHippo
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Re: Yes, a "solution looking for a problem"

Outside of disk drives, where are all these lasers? Pointers don't count. Neither do sharks with lasers of the "frikkin" variety.

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The ULTIMATE cuppa showdown: And the winner is...

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Earl Grey - VOTE NOW

I love the stuff; others hate it. Truly the Marmite of teas.

Commentards are invited to express their feelings for the perfumed brew using the voting buttons. I genuinely have no idea what the result will be...

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Flying 360° panoramic camera poised for lift-off

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Ha, ha.

Phil caaan't caa-aatch, Phil caaan't caa-aaatch.

Nur-nur-nur-nur. Girl.

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Bitcoin mining rig firm claims $3m revenue in just FOUR DAYS

FartingHippo
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Risk

Who's to say they're NOT mining away.

But I think the real reason is it's like those spades sold during the gold rush referred to in the article. You're guaranteed a profit from selling spades/rigs; when mining you're subject to the vagaries of a volatile market, one where a total collapse in value is still a real risk.

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How d'ya make a JPMorgan banker cry? Ask him questions on Twitter

FartingHippo
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PR morons

These companies' PR people must live in a dingy, unconnected cellar (lit with scented candles, natch). Is this is a surprise to anyone?

The Ryanair / O'Leary Twitter Q&A is perhaps the only time I've seen one of these things work in the firm's favour. Presumably because Ryanair troll their customers 24/7 anyway.

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Hackers steal 'FULL credit card details' of 376,000 people from Irish loyalty programme firm

FartingHippo
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Unbelievable

Surely this level of incompetence deserves a jail term, not just a fine. (I suspect payment of any fine will be a long time coming as their business collapses in short order.)

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Show us your Cook: Size is everything for Apple iWatch fans, apparently

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: A much needed accessory

"or will they charge extra"

HAHAHAHAHAHA. What do you think?

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New Retina iPad Mini not sold out HOURS after launch - world REELS

FartingHippo
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Pint

Ha!

That's Olympic gold medal winning snark :)

Have a pint.

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Right royal rumpus over remote-control 'RoboRoach'

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Fifth Element

Stolen from the film, no? The roach was fitted with a camera and slipped into the President's briefing room. And was then squashed bwah-hah-hah.

Milla Jovovich. Mmm....

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Samsung: Get ready to BEND OVER – foldable fondleslabs 'by 2016'...

FartingHippo
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Stop

"rather terrible advert"

Ah, British understatement.

I cringed so hard my nadgers tried to crawl back up inside me.

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New US Apple factory will make INVINCIBLE sapphire glass for SHINY iThings

FartingHippo
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Ditch the aluminium

There's got to a market for a Sapphire and Steel iPhone.

[young people: google it]

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Staying power: The small screen spans of the eleven Doctor Whos

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Worst infographic EVER

They're meant to assist understanding the data, not obfuscate it. A key would be have been helpful too.

Sometimes an old fashioned bar chart it just what the doctor ordered...

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LOHAN's mighty thruster poised for hot coupling

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: Drool

As long as its just drool that your keyboard's dripping with.

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HELIUM-FILLED disks lift off: You can't keep these 6TB BEASTS down

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: What about my mp3s?

No. Nor will you have to tether your PC it to the ground to stop it floating away.

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New Forum Wishlist - but read roadmap first

FartingHippo
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Longer log ins

Why do I have to re-enter my credentials every day? Disqus, vanilla and several others do not require this.

If you insist I re-enter my password intermittently, please can it be weekly, or at worst every 72 hours?

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Moto sets out plans for crafty snap-together PODULAR PHONES

FartingHippo
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BAD idea

Imagine dropping one of those buggers in a busy pub. 30 fiddly little parts scattered across the floor.

Train platform droppage: also bad.

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Digital radio may replace FM altogether - even though nobody wants it

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: 30% seems high to me

Well I've got a DAB in my Ford - didn't ask for one, just came with it. Also a DAB in the kitchen. So on that sample 30% is ludicrously low.

Good job polling companies question enough people to render our anecdotes worthless, isn't it.

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The Raspberry Pi: Is it REALLY the saviour of British computing?

FartingHippo
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Re: HDMI not compulsory

"How many parents in the 80s bought Timmy an 8 bit micro thinking they were helping with his education only to end up with an expert in Jetset Willy?"

My parents, for one. Mugs :)

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Everything's going to be all white: Google Nexus 5 mobe expected Friday

FartingHippo
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"The underground is about the last place I'd bring out my phone"

Really? You're in a minority. I'd estimate I see 70% of people fiddling with either a phone or a tablet on my morning commute (not at the same time - but over the course of the trip). Higher than that amongst the smug gits with a seat.

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Google burns promise of 'no big banner ads'. Don't Be Evil next?

FartingHippo
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"very limited, US-only test"

I've heard that sort of thing before. Funny how elastic those limits can be.

Still, at least the "blink" tag is dead.

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Surface 2 and iPad Air: Prepare to meet YOUR DOOM under a 'Landfill Android' AVALANCHE

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Units!!!

From the article:

Apple’s iPad Air is 7.5mm thick, weighs 478g

Microsoft’s Surface Pro 2...is 1.3cm thick and weighs 2lb

Surface 2 is 676g and 8.89mm thick.

Sheesh. As you clearly don't know: 10mm = 1cm and 454g = 1lb. Pick one of each and stick to it. Also, put the weight and thickness in the same order. You know, to help the reader.

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Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson battles bullfighting

FartingHippo
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"Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson battles bullfighting"

Surely "Buxom Baywatch Babe Battles Barbaric Bullfighting" would have been the way to go.

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Ryanair boss Mike O'Leary hits Twitter: 'Nice pic. Phwoaaarr!'

FartingHippo
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Re: "Look at me!!!!! I'm an attention whore!!!!"

Yep. O'Leary is a dick and travelling Ryanair is a miserable and frustrating experience. Yet they're arguably the most successful airline in the world over the last 20 years, and they keep on growing. And growing. And growing.

Would you mess with the formula?

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Black hole boffins close in on gravity waves

FartingHippo
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Re: So.... 11 years from now...

Pff. Proper jet packs or I'm going back to bed.

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'Please, steal my phone' TV ads by T-Mobile US slammed by legal eagles

FartingHippo
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Devil

I agree - NOT funny

Not because it's "offensive", but because it's what's know in the business as "shit"

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Price rises and power cuts by 2016? Thank the EU's energy policy

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

WTF is wrong with our politicians?!

These plants... that are indispensable to ensure security of supply during peak hours... are being replaced by volatile and non-schedulable renewable energy installations that are heavily subsidized.

I repeat: What the FUCK is wrong with our politicians?!

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Island-hopping Beardy Branson: I'm dodging rain, not taxes

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: what's a sq acre?

Either an acre which is bounded by four sides of just under 70 yards each, or an acre which is not hip, daddy-o.

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