* Posts by FartingHippo

691 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012

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Hack hijacks electric skateboards, dumps hipsters in the gutter

FartingHippo
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Devil

How much??!!

Boards are US$999-US$1,499.

Anyone dumb enough to pay that for a plank, a motor and a battery deserves a face plant. Preferably recorded for posterity on youtube.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

FartingHippo
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Re: No change

It looks a bit different and so you're flouncing off into the sunset? Get a grip.

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Disk areal density: Not a constant, consistent platter

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Re: Memories ...

HEAD CRASH!!! Run for the hills!

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FLASH! Aaa-aaah. 3D NAND will save every one of us

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: 19TB is a lot of porn

Ick. I really don't want to see every pore and blemish. Soft focus exists for a reason, you know.

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Sonic BOOM: 10 blast-tastic soundbars

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

"Dialogue can be a little sharp, but the soundstage is expansive"

I have no idea what that means. Can anyone enlighten me? Should I care?

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Boffins weigh in to perfect kilogram quest with LEGO kit

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

I don't get it

The calculation requires knowledge of 'g' which varies depending on your position in space (or your location on Earth). How do you get 'g' without knowing a great deal more than the planck constant?

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Kim Dotcom Dotcan remain on bail, despite Fed protests

FartingHippo
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Childcatcher

Re: Jail time or the highlands would have been better

"nothing to show for it"

He's not picking up soap in a US penitentiary. Also, I suspect he'll be looking a serving a dime or more (I watched all of The Sopranos, you know. Boom, bad-a-bing, etc, etc). The US authorities will want serious payback after being embarressed like this. Just look at poor Bradley/Chelsea Manning :(

Icon is Kim after 6 months of prison food.

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UK computing museum starts reboot of 65-year-old EDSAC

FartingHippo
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Boffin

"EDSAC ran at 500kHz"

Are you sure about that? Seems improbably high to me.

For context, the Z80 ran at 3Mhz in the mid-70s (or thereabouts). That's less than an order of magnitude more after 25 years of unbelievably rapid development. The Z80 chip was smaller than a postage stamp, as opposed to a wheezing hulk taking up a large room.

500Hz, on the other hand, I could well believe...

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Cryptocurrency cruncher cranks prime number constellation

FartingHippo
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Riemann Hypothesis

A solution would be HUGELY disruptive to security.

If I remember correctly, the solution allows any NP problem to be mapped to a P problem. (or allows it to be proved that it's impossible for any NP to map to P). The NSA would pay north of a billion for a solution that implied the former, I'm sure. As long as it was undisclosed to anyone else, natch.

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What's MISSING on Amazon Fire Phone... and why it WON'T set the world alight

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

A free speaker worth £199

Having seen (and heard it), I can promise you that it 'costs' £199, but it is far, far, faaaaar from 'worth' it.

My icon has only marginally worse sound reproduction qualities.

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Boffins find Jackie Chan's SUPERCOP is good for something

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: Finally a use for Zoolander.

I'll see your Zoolander and raise you a Highlander 3. Never has a franchise gone downhill so far, so quickly....

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South Londoner wins Reddit MILLIONAIRE not-a-lottery lottery

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: errrm....

S'a larf, innit.

And I think that's the beginning and the end of the explanation.

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Blackpool hotel 'fines' couple £100 for crap TripAdvisor review

FartingHippo
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Re: This one's my favourite

That's wonderful. Not difficult to guess which one of them is telling porkies.

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Hacker Hammond's laptop protected by pet password

FartingHippo
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FAIL

Re: Good Grief

Maybe, but are you really using the same password to shout "Apple is better than Android" (or vice-versa) as to access PayPal?

If so, you're a moron, and it would be pretty pathetic to blame El Reg when some villain pays for a truckload of ebay tat using your credentials.

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Bendy, but hangs loose too: Lenovo Yoga Tablet 2 10-inch Android tab

FartingHippo
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John Lewis

Not that is a Bobby Bonanza price. I'd like a Tab S or a Nexus 9, but for £150 less, this is a clear winner.

Now to see if the missus is up for buying me my Christmas present early...

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This 125mph train is fitted with LASERS. Sadly no sharks, though

FartingHippo
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Coat

Re: Do you have to...

It would certainly put you on the right career track without derailing your other options.

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Boffin imagines Wi-Fi-defined no-shoot zones for wireless weapons

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Re: Yep, that will work...

Fun to be had for a tech-savvy crim (or terrorist) by inverting the fire/no-fire rules. Imagine the hilarity when every police officer and SWAT team member finds their weapons disabled while the bad guys can spray bullets with impunity.

WTF, America? WTF?

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NASA floats million-dollar airship prize for 20-20-20 vision

FartingHippo
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Coat

Only until we fire up the (Mr) fusion plants.

Thanks, it's the one with 88mph written on the back.

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Cheap blow-up baby incubator bags James Dyson award

FartingHippo
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FAIL

Re: TAX DODGER!....excuse me...TAX EXILE!

WTF? Did the vacuum cleaner pack up just as you were in the vinegar strokes?

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Google's Nest partners up with utility company – on smart thermostats

FartingHippo
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Windows

Nest and Hive

I'm still unsure why it's such a boon to be able to control my heating from my phone when I'm in the pub. Maybe I'm just too old to understand - after all, I thought Twitter would sink without trace when it first came to my attention...

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How's the great dot-thing gold rush going? Well, coffee.club just sold for $100,000

FartingHippo
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Coat

How much for seal.club?

Just askin'.

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EE launches 150Mbps '4G+' in the heart of London

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: FUCKIN LONDON AGAIN!

I've always found I get better mobile data services anywhere but London, especially when in Zone 1. Just too many devices soaking up limited bandwidth.

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French 'terror law' declares WAR on the INTERNET itself, say digi-rights folks

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: Who defines terrorist ?

Any excuse to show Groundskeeper Willy.

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iPhone 6 shunned by fanbois in Apple's GREAT FAIL of CHINA

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Good question. You'd need at least two dimensions for form the queue.

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Don't wait for that big iPad, order a NEXUS 9 instead, industry little bird says

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

Licorice

I sincerely hope not. Forums will be choked with reams of pointless wittering on whether it's licor-ISH or licor-ISS.

The former is clearly correct and anyone who says otherwise is a moron. [See! It's happening already!!]

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Julian Assange discovers Google's given MONEY to EFF

FartingHippo
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Windows

Cabin Fever

He's going slowly bonkers, isn't he. Howard Hughs meets tramp-on-a-park-bench.

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Finnish PM: Apple has DESTROYED FINLAND

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Imagine....

Hordes (herds?) of reindeer-mounted Finnish cavalry pounding down Infinite Loop, led by a red-coated general with a white beard.

Who's ho-ho-ho-ing now, Apple?

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Heistmeisters crack cost of safecrackers with $150 widget

FartingHippo
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Re: Heh

Thanks for taking the time to write that. Jolly interesting.

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'I went from a two-hour commute to a 10-min scooter ride by the sea'

FartingHippo
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Re: Bermuda Onions on Pizza?

Colonial spelling mistake, like 'color'.

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Beardie Branson backs Blockchain's Bitcoin bandwagon

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Beardie Branson backs Blockchain's Bitcoin bandwagon

Absolutely awesome and amazing alliteration, as always.

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Apple and GT: Sapphire glass is cracked, but still not broken

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Time to don the old Tin Foil Chapeau

"My god, this sapphire glass is expensive, these guys have a monopoly! As you all know, the only good monopoly is an Apple monopoly." - Tim Cook, September 2014

"That's lucky, there's now a really, really cheap sapphire glass company for us to buy." - Tim Cook, Oct 2014

[not really, but you never know...]

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Google ordered to tear down search results from its global dotcom by French court

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Re: Chump change?

"Still helps them make a loss in Europe (excluding Ireland), so less tax to pay. So a win for Google."

So you'd rather be paid £10k a year and avoid income tax than be taxed on £40k a year? It's a thought, I suppose...

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Netflix bullish after six-country European INVASION

FartingHippo
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Unhappy

Re: signed-up for free trial in France - still feel it is bad value for money

Re: The Good Wife

To my (and my good wife's) irritation, the latest season and subsequent seasons will only be available on Amazon Prime. They bought exclusive rights for a mind-boggling amount of money.

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Supercapacitors have the power to save you from data loss

FartingHippo
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Unhappy

Re: Kaboom?

Commiserations. Still, at least you can supplement your cheese with a smoke and a pancake.

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FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Kaboom?

"Canadians Qualify?"

Of course! Generally good eggs, Canadians (apart from the wretched Québécois, obviously).

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FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Kaboom?

I'd like to nominate "a small problem with some minor exploding" for the British Understatement in Journalism Award.

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Texas T Rex Dell: Terabytes shipped. Count 'em and weep...

FartingHippo
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Gimp

4.3 exabytes

That's a metric fuckton (fapton?) of porn.

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Man, its smartphones are SQUARE. But will BlackBerry make a comeback with them?

FartingHippo
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Alert

Ow!

You bend over suddenly (for whatever reason you might like to imagine) and that's going to sting. I know manufacturers are wary of rounded corners, but that's like a telephonic shuriken!

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Soundbites: News in brief from the Wi-Fi audiophile files

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Pleasantly surprised...

...by the absence of audiophile twattery on this thread.

I'd expected someone to show up wittering on about valves and/or directional CAT 5 cables by now. Only one mention of the often-ubiquitous "warmer", and nothing on "mid-tones" at all.

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EE buys 58 Phones 4u stores for £2.5m after picking over carcass

FartingHippo
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Stop

Re: Looking on the bright side...

Oh good, more charity shops paying no business rates and selling tat. Just what my high-street needs.

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TV techies proudly display their MIGHTY BENDERS in Berlin

FartingHippo
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If you're spending 100k+ on a TV, you're not in the real world

Meh. I like to look at the Bugattis and Ferraris at a car show. Doesn't mean I'm going to buy one.

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Hawking: Higgs boson in a BIG particle punisher could DESTROY UNIVERSE

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: In other news

Immigrant Bosons On Benefits Cause Cancer And Falling House Prices

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Ballmer PERSONALLY wrote Windows' Blue Screen of Death text

FartingHippo
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Trollface

He does love 'developers'

Really? Have you, by any chance, got any evidence of that fact...

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One step closer to ROBOT BUTLERS: Dyson flashes vid of VACUUM SUCKER bot

FartingHippo
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Terminator

Re: Apple school of marketing?

You have 20 seconds to comply ... I am now authorised to use extreme suction.

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Tim Cook in Applerexia fears: New MacBook THINNER THAN EVER

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Great news!

A couple more generations and I won't need a laptop AND a carving knife.

Convergence, eh! Amazing. I just wish they'd add a bottle opener and corkscrew.

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Cracking copyright law: How a simian selfie stunt could make a monkey out of Wikipedia

FartingHippo
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Re: It really doesn't matter

+1 for the last sentence, although I'd add "arrogant and self-important".

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BAT-GOBBLING urban SPIDER QUEENS swell to ENORMOUS SIZE

FartingHippo
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Gimp

*whimper*

That 'impressive' picture of the spiders 'getting together' is like something from Indiana Jones.

I no longer have my feet on the floor. The picture is me in my spider-proof suit --->

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CRR-CRRRK, beep, beep: Mars space truck backs out of slippery sand trap

FartingHippo
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Re: Hardness of aluminium

Yes they are. Virtually all aluminium is alloyed before use. Apart from its density, it's not a very useful construction material otherwise. [Edit: darn, beaten to it!]

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Apple takes blade to 13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

"should certainly bolster sales in time for the new school term"

Really? A MacBook pro to help little Philippa/Tarquin pass their GCSEs?

My, my, how times have changed. I was happy with a Casio fx82 [goes all misty-eyed]. Kids today, don't know they're born, etc, etc...

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Snowden leaks show that terrorists are JUST LIKE US

FartingHippo
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Holmes

A spy lies. More at eleven. --->

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