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* Posts by FartingHippo

682 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012

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What's MISSING on Amazon Fire Phone... and why it WON'T set the world alight

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

A free speaker worth £199

Having seen (and heard it), I can promise you that it 'costs' £199, but it is far, far, faaaaar from 'worth' it.

My icon has only marginally worse sound reproduction qualities.

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Boffins find Jackie Chan's SUPERCOP is good for something

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: Finally a use for Zoolander.

I'll see your Zoolander and raise you a Highlander 3. Never has a franchise gone downhill so far, so quickly....

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South Londoner wins Reddit MILLIONAIRE not-a-lottery lottery

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: errrm....

S'a larf, innit.

And I think that's the beginning and the end of the explanation.

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Blackpool hotel 'fines' couple £100 for crap TripAdvisor review

FartingHippo
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Re: This one's my favourite

That's wonderful. Not difficult to guess which one of them is telling porkies.

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Hacker Hammond's laptop protected by pet password

FartingHippo
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FAIL

Re: Good Grief

Maybe, but are you really using the same password to shout "Apple is better than Android" (or vice-versa) as to access PayPal?

If so, you're a moron, and it would be pretty pathetic to blame El Reg when some villain pays for a truckload of ebay tat using your credentials.

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Bendy, but hangs loose too: Lenovo Yoga Tablet 2 10-inch Android tab

FartingHippo
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John Lewis

Not that is a Bobby Bonanza price. I'd like a Tab S or a Nexus 9, but for £150 less, this is a clear winner.

Now to see if the missus is up for buying me my Christmas present early...

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This 125mph train is fitted with LASERS. Sadly no sharks, though

FartingHippo
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Coat

Re: Do you have to...

It would certainly put you on the right career track without derailing your other options.

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Boffin imagines Wi-Fi-defined no-shoot zones for wireless weapons

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Re: Yep, that will work...

Fun to be had for a tech-savvy crim (or terrorist) by inverting the fire/no-fire rules. Imagine the hilarity when every police officer and SWAT team member finds their weapons disabled while the bad guys can spray bullets with impunity.

WTF, America? WTF?

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NASA floats million-dollar airship prize for 20-20-20 vision

FartingHippo
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Coat

Only until we fire up the (Mr) fusion plants.

Thanks, it's the one with 88mph written on the back.

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Cheap blow-up baby incubator bags James Dyson award

FartingHippo
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FAIL

Re: TAX DODGER!....excuse me...TAX EXILE!

WTF? Did the vacuum cleaner pack up just as you were in the vinegar strokes?

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Google's Nest partners up with utility company – on smart thermostats

FartingHippo
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Windows

Nest and Hive

I'm still unsure why it's such a boon to be able to control my heating from my phone when I'm in the pub. Maybe I'm just too old to understand - after all, I thought Twitter would sink without trace when it first came to my attention...

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How's the great dot-thing gold rush going? Well, coffee.club just sold for $100,000

FartingHippo
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Coat

How much for seal.club?

Just askin'.

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EE launches 150Mbps '4G+' in the heart of London

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: FUCKIN LONDON AGAIN!

I've always found I get better mobile data services anywhere but London, especially when in Zone 1. Just too many devices soaking up limited bandwidth.

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French 'terror law' declares WAR on the INTERNET itself, say digi-rights folks

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: Who defines terrorist ?

Any excuse to show Groundskeeper Willy.

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iPhone 6 shunned by fanbois in Apple's GREAT FAIL of CHINA

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Good question. You'd need at least two dimensions for form the queue.

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Don't wait for that big iPad, order a NEXUS 9 instead, industry little bird says

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

Licorice

I sincerely hope not. Forums will be choked with reams of pointless wittering on whether it's licor-ISH or licor-ISS.

The former is clearly correct and anyone who says otherwise is a moron. [See! It's happening already!!]

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Julian Assange discovers Google's given MONEY to EFF

FartingHippo
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Windows

Cabin Fever

He's going slowly bonkers, isn't he. Howard Hughs meets tramp-on-a-park-bench.

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Finnish PM: Apple has DESTROYED FINLAND

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Imagine....

Hordes (herds?) of reindeer-mounted Finnish cavalry pounding down Infinite Loop, led by a red-coated general with a white beard.

Who's ho-ho-ho-ing now, Apple?

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Heistmeisters crack cost of safecrackers with $150 widget

FartingHippo
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Re: Heh

Thanks for taking the time to write that. Jolly interesting.

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'I went from a two-hour commute to a 10-min scooter ride by the sea'

FartingHippo
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Re: Bermuda Onions on Pizza?

Colonial spelling mistake, like 'color'.

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Beardie Branson backs Blockchain's Bitcoin bandwagon

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Beardie Branson backs Blockchain's Bitcoin bandwagon

Absolutely awesome and amazing alliteration, as always.

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Apple and GT: Sapphire glass is cracked, but still not broken

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Time to don the old Tin Foil Chapeau

"My god, this sapphire glass is expensive, these guys have a monopoly! As you all know, the only good monopoly is an Apple monopoly." - Tim Cook, September 2014

"That's lucky, there's now a really, really cheap sapphire glass company for us to buy." - Tim Cook, Oct 2014

[not really, but you never know...]

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Google ordered to tear down search results from its global dotcom by French court

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Re: Chump change?

"Still helps them make a loss in Europe (excluding Ireland), so less tax to pay. So a win for Google."

So you'd rather be paid £10k a year and avoid income tax than be taxed on £40k a year? It's a thought, I suppose...

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Netflix bullish after six-country European INVASION

FartingHippo
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Unhappy

Re: signed-up for free trial in France - still feel it is bad value for money

Re: The Good Wife

To my (and my good wife's) irritation, the latest season and subsequent seasons will only be available on Amazon Prime. They bought exclusive rights for a mind-boggling amount of money.

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Supercapacitors have the power to save you from data loss

FartingHippo
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Unhappy

Re: Kaboom?

Commiserations. Still, at least you can supplement your cheese with a smoke and a pancake.

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FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Kaboom?

"Canadians Qualify?"

Of course! Generally good eggs, Canadians (apart from the wretched Québécois, obviously).

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FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Kaboom?

I'd like to nominate "a small problem with some minor exploding" for the British Understatement in Journalism Award.

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Texas T Rex Dell: Terabytes shipped. Count 'em and weep...

FartingHippo
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Gimp

4.3 exabytes

That's a metric fuckton (fapton?) of porn.

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Man, its smartphones are SQUARE. But will BlackBerry make a comeback with them?

FartingHippo
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Alert

Ow!

You bend over suddenly (for whatever reason you might like to imagine) and that's going to sting. I know manufacturers are wary of rounded corners, but that's like a telephonic shuriken!

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Soundbites: News in brief from the Wi-Fi audiophile files

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Pleasantly surprised...

...by the absence of audiophile twattery on this thread.

I'd expected someone to show up wittering on about valves and/or directional CAT 5 cables by now. Only one mention of the often-ubiquitous "warmer", and nothing on "mid-tones" at all.

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EE buys 58 Phones 4u stores for £2.5m after picking over carcass

FartingHippo
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Stop

Re: Looking on the bright side...

Oh good, more charity shops paying no business rates and selling tat. Just what my high-street needs.

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TV techies proudly display their MIGHTY BENDERS in Berlin

FartingHippo
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If you're spending 100k+ on a TV, you're not in the real world

Meh. I like to look at the Bugattis and Ferraris at a car show. Doesn't mean I'm going to buy one.

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Hawking: Higgs boson in a BIG particle punisher could DESTROY UNIVERSE

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: In other news

Immigrant Bosons On Benefits Cause Cancer And Falling House Prices

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Ballmer PERSONALLY wrote Windows' Blue Screen of Death text

FartingHippo
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Trollface

He does love 'developers'

Really? Have you, by any chance, got any evidence of that fact...

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One step closer to ROBOT BUTLERS: Dyson flashes vid of VACUUM SUCKER bot

FartingHippo
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Terminator

Re: Apple school of marketing?

You have 20 seconds to comply ... I am now authorised to use extreme suction.

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Tim Cook in Applerexia fears: New MacBook THINNER THAN EVER

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Great news!

A couple more generations and I won't need a laptop AND a carving knife.

Convergence, eh! Amazing. I just wish they'd add a bottle opener and corkscrew.

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Cracking copyright law: How a simian selfie stunt could make a monkey out of Wikipedia

FartingHippo
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Re: It really doesn't matter

+1 for the last sentence, although I'd add "arrogant and self-important".

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BAT-GOBBLING urban SPIDER QUEENS swell to ENORMOUS SIZE

FartingHippo
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Gimp

*whimper*

That 'impressive' picture of the spiders 'getting together' is like something from Indiana Jones.

I no longer have my feet on the floor. The picture is me in my spider-proof suit --->

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CRR-CRRRK, beep, beep: Mars space truck backs out of slippery sand trap

FartingHippo
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Re: Hardness of aluminium

Yes they are. Virtually all aluminium is alloyed before use. Apart from its density, it's not a very useful construction material otherwise. [Edit: darn, beaten to it!]

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Apple takes blade to 13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

"should certainly bolster sales in time for the new school term"

Really? A MacBook pro to help little Philippa/Tarquin pass their GCSEs?

My, my, how times have changed. I was happy with a Casio fx82 [goes all misty-eyed]. Kids today, don't know they're born, etc, etc...

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Snowden leaks show that terrorists are JUST LIKE US

FartingHippo
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Holmes

A spy lies. More at eleven. --->

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Hollywood star Robin Williams dies of 'suspected suicide' at 63

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Re: Mork Calling Orson

Coincidence.

Also, horoscopes don't work, and you can walk under ladders as long as you keep half an eye on the window cleaner's bucket.

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Samsung Galaxy Tab S 8.4: 4G Android tablet is easy to swallow

FartingHippo
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Re: Whither Nexus 8

You appear to be living the same life as me.

Where indeed is the next iteration of the Nexus 7/8? Fed up with charging my Mk1 every night.

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Yosemite Siri? Apple might plonk chatty assistant on your desktop - report

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Why no, I don't.

I fail to see why anyone reading an IT site would have any knowledge of an intensely irritating app which was omnipresent on the Windows desktop for the best part of decade.

[It looks like you're having a bad day. Would you like help?]

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Farmville maker Zynga delays new games after losing 57 MILLION users

FartingHippo
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Alert

King

Anyone stupid enough to invest in King should get out right now. One game and a valuation of $7bn - what could possibly go wrong...

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IBM boffins stuff 16 million-neuron chips into binary 'frog' brain

FartingHippo
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Coat

No but if you stress-test it, it has a crisis.

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Brit balloon bod Bodnar circumnavigates planet

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: Stealth Baloon

Must have the radar cross-section of a pigeon. Doubt any of them even knew it was there.

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Fiat Panda Cross: 'Interesting-looking' Multipla spawn hits UK

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: 80 bhp?

Someone needs to look up the term "low ratio" ...

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Phab-u-less: Huge MONSTER iPhone 6 not due until 2015 – claim

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: I for one

Small hands, huh? Poor Mrs 10.

I love my Galaxy Note. Fits my hand perfectly :)

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LG unfurls flexible SEE-THROUGH 18-inch display

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

Re: If I had a semi-transaprent display

My brain had a little wobble when I read: "If I had a semi".

I need to get out more :(

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