* Posts by FartingHippo

707 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012

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Pebble Time Steel ready in May. Plus: Now you can strap on sensors, GPS ... Geiger counter

FartingHippo
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Meh

Still Ugly

The LG offering looks good; the pebble looks like crap. The reverse is true for battery life.

I'm holding off until someone can deliver something that meets both criteria.

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The BBC wants to slap a POLL TAX on EVERYONE in BLIGHTY

FartingHippo
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Re: Public Broadcast Service

This. A hundred times this. Soap operas, game shows and reality shows should not be funded by a mandatory licence.

The BBC is now a hugely inefficiant, tentacled monstrosity which massively distorts the market. There's a place for the BBC delivering genuine, quality, non-commercial services. Most people would be happy with that, I think, especially as the licence fee would plummet.

EDIT for the AC: Farm it out to the private sector and bung a couple of ads at the start.

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SanDisk launches 200GB microSD card

FartingHippo
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WTF?

Re: Sounds great..

Huh? Is it sausage flavoured or something?

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US Army plots new petascale monster and 'tactical cloudlets'

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

"100 petaflop battlespace computer"

A strange tightening of my loins has occured. I clearly need help.

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Ads watchdog: Er, what does woman in her undies have to do with ‘slim’ phone?

FartingHippo
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Go

And Barry Scott and his Cillit Bang (and the stain has gone!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gKjjEctWuo

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FartingHippo
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Happy

Well I thoroughly enjoyed the advert. Oh, yes!

What was it advertising again?

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PENGUINS are just TASTELESS, say boffins

FartingHippo
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Linux

Not surprised

If you're fed semi-digested fishy vomit from a very young age, a keen sense of taste is not a survival trait.

[and yay for the penguin icon!]

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Drinking games: Tapper 1983, this Bud's for you...

FartingHippo
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Alien

Re: "THIS BUDS FOR YOU"

They're hidden by drinkers vomiting up shitty, tasteless beer.

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FartingHippo
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Unhappy

:(

Your story made me sad. Here's my tale of woe:

In the mid 90s I was offered a full-size, working Scramble cabinet for £10. I said "no thanks". Still kicking myself.

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vSphere 6.0 is BADASS. Not that I've played with it or anything. Ahem

FartingHippo
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Stop

Re: Update Manager

Maybe not, looks like you've already got the jitters.

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Drinking to forget? OK. But first, eat a curry... QUICK!

FartingHippo
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Alien

Re: Yes, but

I'm not afraid of curry. It's delicious. That first twinge in the bowels though, some time the next day, makes my knees turn to rubber.

20 minutes of weeping later I have a backside like the Japanese flag, and I'm promising myself "next time I'm having a Korma". For some reason I never remember that ... wait ... hang on a minute ... damn you Turmeric!!

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Spotify flips bird at Taylor Swift, adds MILLIONS more users

FartingHippo
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Alert

Pricey

How do they justify charging [almost] double the cost of a Netflix account? To my admittedly simple mind it feels wrong to charge more for a tune than a movie.

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Sphere 3D: Our pop-out 2TB disk product? Of COURSE it's rugged

FartingHippo
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FAIL

Very disappointed

None of those products are ball-like, or even round. Sphere 3D my arse (which is actually more true - curse you, Christmas!).

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Tesco tosses loss-making Blinkbox into TalkTalk's basket

FartingHippo
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Re: And there goes the market for VoD to Amazon...

You know TalkTalk is homegrown too, right?

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Police radios will be KILLED soon – yet no one dares say 'Huawei'

FartingHippo
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Devil

Captions....

The captions on the first page would have been much funnier the other way around.

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What's Jimmy Wales going to do with $500k from the UAE?

FartingHippo
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Co-founder

Heh. He hates that :)

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Hack hijacks electric skateboards, dumps hipsters in the gutter

FartingHippo
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Devil

How much??!!

Boards are US$999-US$1,499.

Anyone dumb enough to pay that for a plank, a motor and a battery deserves a face plant. Preferably recorded for posterity on youtube.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

FartingHippo
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Re: No change

It looks a bit different and so you're flouncing off into the sunset? Get a grip.

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Disk areal density: Not a constant, consistent platter

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Re: Memories ...

HEAD CRASH!!! Run for the hills!

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FLASH! Aaa-aaah. 3D NAND will save every one of us

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: 19TB is a lot of porn

Ick. I really don't want to see every pore and blemish. Soft focus exists for a reason, you know.

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Sonic BOOM: 10 blast-tastic soundbars

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

"Dialogue can be a little sharp, but the soundstage is expansive"

I have no idea what that means. Can anyone enlighten me? Should I care?

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Boffins weigh in to perfect kilogram quest with LEGO kit

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

I don't get it

The calculation requires knowledge of 'g' which varies depending on your position in space (or your location on Earth). How do you get 'g' without knowing a great deal more than the planck constant?

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Kim Dotcom Dotcan remain on bail, despite Fed protests

FartingHippo
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Childcatcher

Re: Jail time or the highlands would have been better

"nothing to show for it"

He's not picking up soap in a US penitentiary. Also, I suspect he'll be looking a serving a dime or more (I watched all of The Sopranos, you know. Boom, bad-a-bing, etc, etc). The US authorities will want serious payback after being embarressed like this. Just look at poor Bradley/Chelsea Manning :(

Icon is Kim after 6 months of prison food.

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UK computing museum starts reboot of 65-year-old EDSAC

FartingHippo
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Boffin

"EDSAC ran at 500kHz"

Are you sure about that? Seems improbably high to me.

For context, the Z80 ran at 3Mhz in the mid-70s (or thereabouts). That's less than an order of magnitude more after 25 years of unbelievably rapid development. The Z80 chip was smaller than a postage stamp, as opposed to a wheezing hulk taking up a large room.

500Hz, on the other hand, I could well believe...

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Cryptocurrency cruncher cranks prime number constellation

FartingHippo
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Riemann Hypothesis

A solution would be HUGELY disruptive to security.

If I remember correctly, the solution allows any NP problem to be mapped to a P problem. (or allows it to be proved that it's impossible for any NP to map to P). The NSA would pay north of a billion for a solution that implied the former, I'm sure. As long as it was undisclosed to anyone else, natch.

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What's MISSING on Amazon Fire Phone... and why it WON'T set the world alight

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

A free speaker worth £199

Having seen (and heard it), I can promise you that it 'costs' £199, but it is far, far, faaaaar from 'worth' it.

My icon has only marginally worse sound reproduction qualities.

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Boffins find Jackie Chan's SUPERCOP is good for something

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: Finally a use for Zoolander.

I'll see your Zoolander and raise you a Highlander 3. Never has a franchise gone downhill so far, so quickly....

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South Londoner wins Reddit MILLIONAIRE not-a-lottery lottery

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: errrm....

S'a larf, innit.

And I think that's the beginning and the end of the explanation.

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Blackpool hotel 'fines' couple £100 for crap TripAdvisor review

FartingHippo
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Re: This one's my favourite

That's wonderful. Not difficult to guess which one of them is telling porkies.

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Hacker Hammond's laptop protected by pet password

FartingHippo
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FAIL

Re: Good Grief

Maybe, but are you really using the same password to shout "Apple is better than Android" (or vice-versa) as to access PayPal?

If so, you're a moron, and it would be pretty pathetic to blame El Reg when some villain pays for a truckload of ebay tat using your credentials.

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Bendy, but hangs loose too: Lenovo Yoga Tablet 2 10-inch Android tab

FartingHippo
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John Lewis

Not that is a Bobby Bonanza price. I'd like a Tab S or a Nexus 9, but for £150 less, this is a clear winner.

Now to see if the missus is up for buying me my Christmas present early...

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This 125mph train is fitted with LASERS. Sadly no sharks, though

FartingHippo
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Coat

Re: Do you have to...

It would certainly put you on the right career track without derailing your other options.

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Boffin imagines Wi-Fi-defined no-shoot zones for wireless weapons

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Re: Yep, that will work...

Fun to be had for a tech-savvy crim (or terrorist) by inverting the fire/no-fire rules. Imagine the hilarity when every police officer and SWAT team member finds their weapons disabled while the bad guys can spray bullets with impunity.

WTF, America? WTF?

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NASA floats million-dollar airship prize for 20-20-20 vision

FartingHippo
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Coat

Only until we fire up the (Mr) fusion plants.

Thanks, it's the one with 88mph written on the back.

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Cheap blow-up baby incubator bags James Dyson award

FartingHippo
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FAIL

Re: TAX DODGER!....excuse me...TAX EXILE!

WTF? Did the vacuum cleaner pack up just as you were in the vinegar strokes?

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Google's Nest partners up with utility company – on smart thermostats

FartingHippo
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Windows

Nest and Hive

I'm still unsure why it's such a boon to be able to control my heating from my phone when I'm in the pub. Maybe I'm just too old to understand - after all, I thought Twitter would sink without trace when it first came to my attention...

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How's the great dot-thing gold rush going? Well, coffee.club just sold for $100,000

FartingHippo
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Coat

How much for seal.club?

Just askin'.

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EE launches 150Mbps '4G+' in the heart of London

FartingHippo
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Alert

Re: FUCKIN LONDON AGAIN!

I've always found I get better mobile data services anywhere but London, especially when in Zone 1. Just too many devices soaking up limited bandwidth.

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French 'terror law' declares WAR on the INTERNET itself, say digi-rights folks

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: Who defines terrorist ?

Any excuse to show Groundskeeper Willy.

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iPhone 6 shunned by fanbois in Apple's GREAT FAIL of CHINA

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Good question. You'd need at least two dimensions for form the queue.

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Don't wait for that big iPad, order a NEXUS 9 instead, industry little bird says

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

Licorice

I sincerely hope not. Forums will be choked with reams of pointless wittering on whether it's licor-ISH or licor-ISS.

The former is clearly correct and anyone who says otherwise is a moron. [See! It's happening already!!]

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Julian Assange discovers Google's given MONEY to EFF

FartingHippo
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Windows

Cabin Fever

He's going slowly bonkers, isn't he. Howard Hughs meets tramp-on-a-park-bench.

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Finnish PM: Apple has DESTROYED FINLAND

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Imagine....

Hordes (herds?) of reindeer-mounted Finnish cavalry pounding down Infinite Loop, led by a red-coated general with a white beard.

Who's ho-ho-ho-ing now, Apple?

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Heistmeisters crack cost of safecrackers with $150 widget

FartingHippo
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Re: Heh

Thanks for taking the time to write that. Jolly interesting.

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'I went from a two-hour commute to a 10-min scooter ride by the sea'

FartingHippo
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Re: Bermuda Onions on Pizza?

Colonial spelling mistake, like 'color'.

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Beardie Branson backs Blockchain's Bitcoin bandwagon

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Beardie Branson backs Blockchain's Bitcoin bandwagon

Absolutely awesome and amazing alliteration, as always.

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Apple and GT: Sapphire glass is cracked, but still not broken

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Time to don the old Tin Foil Chapeau

"My god, this sapphire glass is expensive, these guys have a monopoly! As you all know, the only good monopoly is an Apple monopoly." - Tim Cook, September 2014

"That's lucky, there's now a really, really cheap sapphire glass company for us to buy." - Tim Cook, Oct 2014

[not really, but you never know...]

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Google ordered to tear down search results from its global dotcom by French court

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Re: Chump change?

"Still helps them make a loss in Europe (excluding Ireland), so less tax to pay. So a win for Google."

So you'd rather be paid £10k a year and avoid income tax than be taxed on £40k a year? It's a thought, I suppose...

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Netflix bullish after six-country European INVASION

FartingHippo
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Unhappy

Re: signed-up for free trial in France - still feel it is bad value for money

Re: The Good Wife

To my (and my good wife's) irritation, the latest season and subsequent seasons will only be available on Amazon Prime. They bought exclusive rights for a mind-boggling amount of money.

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Supercapacitors have the power to save you from data loss

FartingHippo
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Unhappy

Re: Kaboom?

Commiserations. Still, at least you can supplement your cheese with a smoke and a pancake.

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