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* Posts by FartingHippo

612 posts • joined 10 Feb 2012

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Feast your PUNY eyes on highest resolution phone display EVER

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: Highest?

You underestimate the power of marketing over common sense!

As has been mentioned on El Reg before, time and effort would be much better spent improving video compression to handle movement better.

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Discovery time for 200m WONDER MATERIALS shaved from 4 MILLENNIA... to 4 years

FartingHippo
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Go

Re: Remember to wear knickers

That would make the VIP arrivals at the Oscars a must-see. Mmm, Mila Kunis. [Judy Dench, not so much]

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NASA to unsheath GIANT ASTEROID SPACE PROBE

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

War!

Given the way the world seems to be going, it will probably 'malfunction' and drop the asteroid on the Kremlin.

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SPACE RACE auction: $130k raised for spacesuits, Apollo 11 kit

FartingHippo
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Alert

Mistaken priorities

One Mercury spacesuit: $43,000

One small china teacup: $36,000,000

I mean, WTF is wrong with people?

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'Yahoo! Breaks! Every! Mailing! List! In! The! World!' says email guru

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Yahoo shmahoo

Yahoo has turned it's once-decent email system into a raging clusterf*ck. Massive steps backwards in useability, a large number of accounts suffering vanishing mails, and now this pathetic state of affairs.

Have they come to the conclusion that email just doesn't pay?

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Bendy or barmy: Why your next TV will be curved

FartingHippo
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Re: Yeah, right

Be an easy sell to Obama, though. You know, the chap with the cornerless office.

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Rumour: Next Apple iThing to feature 65-inch screen. Four-limb multitouch, anyone?

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: It's just a 4k screen

iZombies, like normal zombies, are in serious need of some brains.

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Titanfall pits man against machine, Kiefer Sutherland Snakes into Metal Gear Solid V

FartingHippo
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Thumb Up

Exactly. Plus, there's less teabagging.

Mr Article Writer: stop projecting your own views on to the rest of us, thank you very much.

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BEHOLD the HOLY GRAIL of TECH: The REVERSIBLE USB plug

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Blackberry Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

One of the most irritating things about my Blackberry (it's not a short list), was that unlike every other manufacturer on the planet they put the USB symbol on the bottom of the plug, and the Blackberry symbol on the top.

I forgot about this 'feature' regularly, due to using several chargers, most of which were generic and sensibly labelled. P1ssed me off each and every time I inspected the plug, selected the 'right' orientation, and tried/failed to insert.

So simple to avoid and, to me, it utterly typified the company's decline. I no longer have a Blackberry.

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Hobbyist or hardcore? StarTech dual-bay Thunderbolt enclosure

FartingHippo
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Ugh

As I understand it, your stereotypical fanboi places a great deal of emphasis on design and aesthetics.

Why, then, would he (or she) want to purchase that plug-ugly thing. It looks like a GCSE metalwork project; Grade C; borderline pass.

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Boffins make noise about D-Wave chip: it seems quantum

FartingHippo
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Angel

If you just want a hover board, then a boring old finite improbability drive would do. But why would you want a hover board when you can use it to break the ice at parties by making all the molecules in the hostess's undergarments leap simultaneously one foot to the left?

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Hey, Michael Lewis: Stop DEMONISING Wall Street’s SUPERHUMAN high-speed trading

FartingHippo
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Stop

@theotherhobbes

"the one that everyone saw coming except the markets" - Lucky thing. You must have retired on all the profit you made.

--

"Just how stupid does this person think we are?" - I'm sure he's just revised that opinion down.

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El Reg's Deep Outback XP upgrade almost foiled by KILLER ARACHNIDS

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

Re: Just to be pedantic

Ah. Deadly venom is neither a poison, nor poisonous. Got it.

Also, learn to spell poisonous. As a Grammar Nazi, you're in the 'Allo 'Allo! league.

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Newsnight goes sour on Tech City miracle

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Big Mistake, Andrew

The picture was one thing, but after this article there's NO WAY you're getting a Christmas card from her now.

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No, Minister. You CAN'T de-Kindle your eBooks!

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

Re: Unconstitutional

No constitution? Is that even constitutional?

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NASA: Vote now to put FLASHY LIGHTS on future spacesuits

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Nice suit

Shame there's no way to get it into orbit.

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Middle England's allotments become metric battlefield

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

Re: How would anybody know the difference?

Burn the heretic! Burn him in Fahrenheit!

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Google wearables: A solution looking for a rich nerd

FartingHippo
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Re: Notifications

"As soon as the first Marc Jacobs/Gucci Smart Watch comes out this will be the next fashion accessory every women wants."

You are aware the 1950's are over, aren't you? Will the killer app be one to tell her when the casserole is ready, or the one to tell her to put her husband's pipe and slippers by his comfy chair?

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FartingHippo
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Thumb Up

Re: Kinetic...

+1. Mechanical watches have been doing that for over a century.

Also, I'm sure there's a joke about computers, wrists and vigorous activity in there somewhere.

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QUIDOCALYPSE: Blighty braces for £100 MILLION cost of new £1 coin

FartingHippo
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Re: "it has 15 faces (12 bevels, obverse, reverse, outer edge)"

Let's keep is simple and agree that it's topologically identical to a sphere :)

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FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: "it has 15 faces (12 bevels, obverse, reverse, outer edge)"

Fair enough, but simplified to a dodecadonal prism then 14 is right. If you're going to be nerdy about it then you've missed quite a few radiused sections out (those corners aren't razor sharp) not to mention a boat-load of facets in the image.

I still maintain that the 15 in the article is correct under no reasonable interpretation.

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FartingHippo
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Headmaster

"it has 15 faces (12 bevels, obverse, reverse, outer edge)"

Huh? Don't the twelve bevels make up the outer edge? So 14.

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Keep your quinoa, hipsters: Boffins back healthy slabs of choc

FartingHippo
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Devil

Re: Almost daily ...

Imagine the irony if you were to get run over by a bus tomorrow.

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Blighty goes retro with 12-sided pound coin

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Excellent

I assume this coin is enough to order a pint of mild and a packet of woodbines, let me put shilling or two on the dogs, buy my own body-weight in fish and chips, and still leave me enough change for the bus fare home.

Kids today don't know they're born.

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This record-smashing robot solves a Rubik's Cube in 3.253 seconds

FartingHippo
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Alert

"machines make our efforts in this field look puny"

Bollocks.

5.55 seconds is still amazing - but even that could have been a fluke where everything fell into place. Truly amazing is Feliks Zemdegs averaging 6.54 seconds over 5 runs.

Having to rely on set algorithms and muscle-memory also means that "puny humans" have to do far more moves per second than the robot. Watch the first 10 seconds of this.

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Satisfy my scroll: El Reg gets claws on Windows 8.1 spring update

FartingHippo
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Mushroom

Pet peeve

If I had a penny for each time I'd accidentally shifted to a Modern app from the desktop, I'd have....uh...a couple of quid.

I'd sell a couple of toes to stop the corner activation.

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Bugger the jetpack, where's my 21st-century Psion?

FartingHippo
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Flame

"Bugger the jetpack"

You should wait for it to cool down first, or it'll be barbequed sausage for dinner.

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Global Warming IS REAL, argues sceptic mathematician - it just isn't THERMAGEDDON

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Ah, the certaintly and expertise of the anonymous poster!

Yeah, you don't know who I am either, but then I'm not pretending to be a climatologist...

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Voracious alien flatworm hits French in the escargots

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Flatworm

Doesn't look especially flat.

F*cking horrible, yes, but not especially flat. A flattish worm?

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Massive new AIRSHIP to enter commercial service at British dirigible base

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Ukraine

Putin's actions in Ukraine could well see a sharp reversal in US military spending. It's just the thing the hawks have been waiting for.

So, the LEMV may be resuscitated yet. I can't see it making it as a commercial offering without a military option.- too "different" to shift units to a world of conservative buyers without the USA guaranteeing spares and support for the next 30 years.

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LG offers BRAIN-SAVING CANCER-BL... er 'good luck charms'

FartingHippo
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Trollface

Re: Finally save

Or that an iPhone makes you cool.

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Samsung and Apple BEWARE: Huawei is coming to eat your lunch

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

Pronouciation

"he name itself is hard to pronounce for Anglophones - most English-speakers say "Hu-Wah-Way" but even that isn't quite correct."

You tease, you. So how do you say it?

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Enterprising French chap cranks up €100k 'flying car'

FartingHippo
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Megaphone

Aaaaargghhh, my eeeeeeears!!

Wish they'd spent some of that cash on a decent soundtrack for the video.

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We nearly MISSED OUT on iOS7 redesign: But someone snatched Jony Ive from the jaws of quit

FartingHippo
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Alien

Re: Reliant Robin?

They were awesome for pulling wheelies though, with the seat right over the back wheel!

The icon shows the AC's face after a nadger/gear stick collision

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Fandroids get their very own PERVY SMUT browser

FartingHippo
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Paris Hilton

Dolphin

Dolphin + Jet Pack is your friend, and has good privacy features too.

Or so I've been told.

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Samsung flings sueball at Dyson for 'intolerable' IP copycat claim

FartingHippo
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Coat

Re: but...

I still can't believe they have a range of Dyson Ball cleaners, when Dyson Sphere would have guaranteed a sale to me at least!

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PayPal 'n' Google's FIDO drops 'simpler, stronger' secure login spec

FartingHippo
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Holmes

Re: The thing that's wrong with passwords

Smug much?

99% of people (and I'd guess 80% of El Reg readers) favour short, easily remembered passwords because speed and usability trumps online security in their minds, every time. Ok, they might get ripped off, but their perception of that risk means it going to keep happening whether you or anyone else likes it or not. And when they get ripped off, YOU pay, despite your 15-character passwords, through higher insurance costs, or bank charges, or interest rates, or access to credit, or the price of goods.

So you're actually right in one respect: the thing that's wrong with passwords is the people who use them. But a heightened awareness and use of security in a tiny minority is never going to fix that; FIDO just might.

But you're still a smug git.

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Baby's got the bends: LG's D958 G Flex Android smartie

FartingHippo
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Coat

I foresee a problem

If you try and throw this phone away, there's a good chance it will come straight back.

Should sell well in Australia though.

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Bangable poster firm Novalia makes printed 'leccy keyboard

FartingHippo
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Coat

Cats

Why are there two cats on each of the circuit boards / pieces of paper?

"I haz printed electronics" is soooo 2007.

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Turkish president mulls $4.5bn Apple fondleslab school deal

FartingHippo
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Headmaster

If you must...

...then please buy them each an Android tablet. They'll learn just as much (and probably more, as the more open device provides more opportunities for exploration and understanding) and you'll still have a couple of billion dollars to improve the rest of the education system.

A no-brainer in my world.

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NSA, GCHQ, accused of hacking Belgian smartcard crypto guru

FartingHippo
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Black Helicopters

Re: Damn!

Yes. Hide.

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Devs: We'll bury Candy Crush King under HEAPS of candy apps

FartingHippo
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Devil

Suck on my Big Chocolate Salted Candy Balls.

(c) Chef.

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Toshiba twirls its HAMR, ponders whether to smash spinning rust

FartingHippo
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Windows

"Enterprise (SAS and nearline SAS) at 1.44"

Good to see the number 1.44 making a reappearance in the disk world.

*wipes nostalgic tear from eye*

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IBM reveals radical email interface rethink

FartingHippo
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Boffin

Re: Notes

No. That team was taken to Antarctica, locked in a vault, which was then sealed in concrete, which was then dropped down a borehole into a subterranean sea. The borehole was then explosively collapsed and the whole Plateau sealed under six metres of superglue filled with landmines and anthrax spores.

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Behold the world's first full-colour 3D printer

FartingHippo
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Alien

Re: Rubber like parts.

If not, there's a lot of Avatar fanbois/girls out there would love something in blue.

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The Mac at 30: Hardware and software wars – again and again and ...

FartingHippo
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Devil

You're either a programmer or hardware engineer. And you clearly have a boss with pointy hair.

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'Netflix bitch': CEO of vid-streaming site taunts HBO chief over results

FartingHippo
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Stop

Re: They are doing good so far

Stop this common sense nonsense forthwith.

The only way forward is for content makers to have a separate, exclusive contract with one streaming supplier, this ensuring that the customer must have subscriptions to all services or miss out on a heap of stuff.

Regards,

Netflix, Lovefilm, and HBO Management

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Apple-aligned firm opens sapphire glass factory. iPhone 6 rumours, DEPLOY

FartingHippo
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Facepalm

Re: sapphire glass scratches ?

"Rather have watch with plastic glass that can be restored using Brasso or T Cut."

And you want a Casio because it has "more functions" than a Patek Philippe. Each to their own, I suppose...

[and you can buy high-end watches which are 50 year's old which still have glass/sapphire which is almost perfect. do you go rock-climbing with your watch or something?]

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Pregnant? Celebrate your proudest moment ... by 3D-printing a copy of the foetus

FartingHippo
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Re: Smile?

Sucker.

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FartingHippo
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Holmes

Smile?

I'm pretty sure fetuses don't smile. I'm also pretty sure that every model sent out is smiling.

In fact a cynic might suggest that they knocked up five models to cover the broad ethnic groups, and simply choose the closest to the picture they get. Four shades of brown should cover any issue of skin tone, and bob's your uncle! Let's start making money off these saps...

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