* Posts by Jediben

359 posts • joined 6 Feb 2012

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Samsung's new Galaxy S 4: iPhone assassin or Android also-ran?

Jediben
Trollface

Re: Its just a phone

Something like:

<Ring Ring... ring Ring..Ring>

"Hello?"

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Jediben
Trollface

Re: whopper

I've had plenty of practice using both hands, no worries there!

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New Apple TV may hint at Apple-Samsung divorce

Jediben
Thumb Up

Re: Lost interest after ATV 2nd gen

WD TV Live ftw. Works with Logitech Harmony remotes too!

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Congratulations, freetards: You are THE FIVE PER CENT

Jediben
Trollface

Thanks Andrew...

As a single white 30-something male with no dependants, kids or disabilities, paying my private rent without Government handouts, tax breaks or benefit allowance and working in an industry without any significant subsidies, it's about time I got recognised for being SOMETHING significant other than a tax cow, milked to support every minority group going.

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IT'S HERE: Seagate ships 'affordable' desktop hybrid drive

Jediben
WTF?

Too small

2TB was the storage of 2010. This is 2013, we demand 6TB+!

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Judge bins Apple's plea to slash $368m FaceTime patent damages

Jediben
Flame

"While evidence of past harm can be considered by the court, the court cannot engage in counterfactual thinking and determine what might have been,"

If only this judge was involved on all those RIAA/MAFIAA copyright infringement cases, we might have seen some sensible outcomes instead of multi-squillion damages!

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World+Dog don't care about climate change, never have done

Jediben
Devil

Re: Proof that capitalism has to be abandoned for the sake of the world.

Well the board of my two-berth submarine company is ambivalent about the situation.

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Apple patents situational awareness for oblivious fanbois

Jediben
Gimp

Apple says we know where you are...

And that's right where we want you.

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US insurer punts 'bestiality' to wide-eyed kiddies, gasp 'mums'

Jediben
FAIL

Re: It's apparently possible to fall for a pig as long as it's branded Windows.

The article is funny, but you're not.

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Jediben
Holmes

Re: Or the fact that [Donald Duck's] last name is one letter up the alphabet from a rude word?

No, MUCK <gasp>.

It's a very dirty word.

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WTF is... IEEE 1905.1?

Jediben

Re: Errr.... DLNA?

'Shareable' displays between any device on any network if you like?

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Curiosity photographs mysterious metal object on Martian rock

Jediben
Trollface

Re: Wonderful

I agree. Is it a mere coincidence that the leader of the Catholic Church chooses this weekend to throw in the towel? The proof of life on other planets is now irrefutable, and all belief in humanity's special connection to God unsustainable. He's getting out before the mouth-breathers see these pics, look at all the donations they gave in church and then mumble "Hey, waitaminute..."

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Tennessee bloke quits job over satanic wage slip

Jediben
Holmes

Re: wrong number?

The MAFIAA and chums would disagree.

All true God-fearing Americans who love capitalism and the persuit of $$$ would suggest that Nero (Burning ROM) would be directly opposed to their ideals, allowing heathens to make EVIL ILLEGAL CURSED COMMIE COPIES of their intellectual property.

Ergo, Nero is still a huge threat to Christianity!

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Kids as young as FIVE need lessons in online safety - NSPCC

Jediben
Trollface

Re: Parents are the problem

Great story, just clarify one thing - she wasn't your girlfriend's OLDER sister, right?

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McDonalds burger app gives it to you straight from the horse's mouth

Jediben
Joke

Re: Beef

Neigh, neigh and thrice neigh!

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Anger grows over the death of Aaron Swartz

Jediben
Holmes

Re: Utterly wrong.

Oh hadn't you heard? Ever since a few kids claimed a dead guy fiddled with them in the 70s, everyone dead is guilty by default now...

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Broadband gov subsidy should end in 2015 -Tory think tank

Jediben
Thumb Up

Article is TL;DR

But I love the name of the report!

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Brazilian slammer guards nab mobe-smuggling CAT

Jediben
FAIL

After all that elaborate sellotaping

You'd have hoped for it to go purrfectly.

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Ubisoft probes sudden rash of hijack attacks on gamers' accounts

Jediben
Pirate

£30, security and your privacy is a small price to pay

To stay on the right side of a faint grey line!

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Apple supremo Tim Cook's pay packet SLASHED 99% in 2012

Jediben

Re: That's a lot of money...

Footballers are a particular bug-bear of mine, specifically their apparent immunity to criticism for performance compared to team managers. I don't understand a process whereby a player can be bought for X million, tied into a 3/4/5 year contract and perhaps not play more than 40% of the time (and perform poorly) but still be paid in full, slathered with sponsorship endorsements and generally worshipped, but a manager can be in a job for 9 games and get the sack within 2 months because the 11 players on the pitch were crap. The players still get to stay on though.

What's a suitable IT analogy? Buying windows 8 and installing it on a Dell PC but realising that you can't figure out how to make it playback your UEFA Champions Leage Highlights DVD. You throw it out.

Then you buy another PC from HP, install Windows 8 on it and get the same result.

Then you try installing it on a Compaq. Same again.

And then you tell your mates that all PCs are shit because they can't play DVDs...

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Feeling poor? WHO took all your money? NOT capitalist bastards?

Jediben
FAIL

Re: Baby Boomers

JimC, the generation BEFORE the boomers had been involved in a rather awkward little situation called World War II. I think it's a little harsh to suggest that they start coughing up taxes to pay for all the work they should have been doing instead of fighting off the Nazis invasion of Europe...

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Red-faced, sweating and still in your chair: Welcome to eSports

Jediben
FAIL

Re: Those huge arena events...

A university weekend LAN in Essex, with an attendance in only double figures, was more than enough to keep the 'dry roasted peanut' odour in the atmosphere. Not only do people smell after sitting at their pc for up to (let's be generous here) 8 hours, but working machines also smell.

PCs are not hermetically sealed boxes - dust gets sucked in, dislodged, blown around, PC components get hot, things start to smell - dead skin, hair, food, general heated stuff.

On top of that, consider the environments that these machines could have come from. No one runs their gaming PC in an airtight chamber, and not everyone has good habits. Even if only 5% of attendees are smokers, their PCs will still stink the place out as they heat up. Smokers make for foul PCs.

Maybe you ought to rein your neck in and get your own prejudices in check before having a hissy fit, huh?

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Jediben
Alert

Those huge arena events...

Never mind the skills on show, just imagine the smell...

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Dead Steve Jobs' mega yacht seized by testy Philippe Starck

Jediben
FAIL

Re: Always have contracts

He'd say something along the lines of "One born every minute".

Knowing the Jobsian bandwagon, Starck's design would be replaced by one slightly smaller which casts 10% more in 6 month's time anyway.

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Naked Scarlett Johansson pic snatch bloke gets 10 YEARS

Jediben

Re: 10 years.

Ahh Mr Reynolds, so nice of you to join us.

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Jediben
Pint

At this time of year...

...We remember a Man who thought nothing of his own freedom and instead sacrificed himself for the greater good of all mankind.

A man who looked inside, broke down barriers others thought insurmountable and revealed to all the true glory that we had all yearned for but never dared dream to experience.

Raise a glass to him.

Thank you Jesu...

WAIT WHAT?! SCARLETT'S JUBS?!? 10 YEARS?! <faints>

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Valve chief confirms Steam-centric console-killing PC

Jediben
Devil

Re: The crucial flaw in the cunning plan...

AAhhh the resident EA representative awakens.

HOW'S THINGS, EA? WILL ORIGIN BE IN MY LOUNGE ANYTIME SOON?

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Apple, Samsung patent judge: 'I feel like I'm in Groundhog Day here'

Jediben
Devil

Re: Anyone else

I agree, it almost seems that she doesn't want to make any decisions. Could it be because the onlyrational one is going to cost a US company a whole lot of wonga?

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Littlest pirate’s Winnie-the-Pooh laptop on the way home

Jediben

Re: €300

If Chisu was feeling like scoring a massive PR hit, she could re-imburse daddy for the trouble?

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Adobe demands 7,000 years a day from humankind

Jediben
Devil

Re: I remember

Blizzard do to same thing for the T&Cs for their various online-only games. And this was PRE-Activision!

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Ten technology FAILS

Jediben
FAIL

Re: Zip Drives?

I've just remembered that, while at university in 2001, I once took my housemate's Zip drive and 5 disks as payment instead of cash for a month's rent (I think).

I never found a use for it.

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Jediben
Trollface

Re: Blu Ray

Jason, I hate to admonish you for your choice of 'entertainment' (ahem), but - those aren't pores, they're herpes scars!

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Jediben
Trollface

Re: "Failures", surely, not "Fails"

Speak as one for yourself only then, you Limey :p

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El Reg Movember lads sprout mighty Unix beards for cancer charity

Jediben
Devil

Re: Great work raising the money...

I agree. Doctor's are clearly already at breaking point due to all the female patients having tests for anything and everything (thoroughly researched and evidence-based appointments only of course), and the threat of men actually making use of their services as well is a real problem.

I know that cancer research has a particular month of focus for each of the major cancers, but I'd never really noticed the men-only prostate and testicular cancers as receiving their fair share of public interest. A cursory glance at the telly clarifies why - Children in Need steals the thunder by taking place in November every year.

Why? the public prefer to give their money to kids rather than arseholes

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Amazon makes BEELLIONS from British customers, pays pennies in tax

Jediben
WTF?

Still seems shifty

Unless I can't count, for a business to only make 2.2 pence on every pound of turnover is pretty rubbish, right?

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Ten weird Chinese mobile phones

Jediben
Happy

Re: Is it wrong...

Just need a talking Trans-Am to go with it!

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One in 10 Brit smartphone owners 'can't afford' to pay for apps

Jediben
Pirate

YAARRR!!!

See title.

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Girlfriend 'tried to MURDER ME with her AMPLE BREASTS'

Jediben

Re: Perhaps it was lost in translation

Oh, and pics or it didn't happen...

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Jediben
Joke

Perhaps it was lost in translation

She can't have been the first to misinterpret "La petite mort"?

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Samsung Google Nexus 10 tablet review

Jediben
Devil

Stick the Special Brew and leave predicting the future to someone else. Or wait for Apple's version of the future 6 months after it's happened.

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Jediben

Re: No sale here, either.

Asus Transformers. Problem solved.

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Facebook: Give us your credit card and pals' addresses as GIFTS

Jediben
Coat

Here's your coat Facebook

GTFO.

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Forklift fondleslab 'fellas flee with vast haul of iPad Minis at JFK

Jediben

Re: Extreme measures

Just some Apple employees going the extra mile to support their 'shortage of stock' rumours. Enforced scarcity = enhanced desirability after all!

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Watchdog halts Toyota Grand Theft Auto-esque advert

Jediben

Re: So what is it like?

You barsteward! What has been seen cannot be unseen, and the icon is now tainted forever! :(

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Black Ops 2 blunder has Mass Effect on buyers

Jediben
Unhappy

Still not sold as advertised, so should be able to return it for refund or replacement, right?

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Youngster backed by Yoko Ono and Stephen Fry launches 'Summly'

Jediben

The little sprat was on BBC this morning, stating that he hoped to monetize the system by charging people to link to the stories that were summarilisationified.

I suspect this will see him in big trouble - you can't go charging for other people's content without licencing, right?

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