* Posts by Jediben

334 posts • joined 6 Feb 2012

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Dead Steve Jobs' mega yacht seized by testy Philippe Starck

Jediben
FAIL

Re: Always have contracts

He'd say something along the lines of "One born every minute".

Knowing the Jobsian bandwagon, Starck's design would be replaced by one slightly smaller which casts 10% more in 6 month's time anyway.

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Naked Scarlett Johansson pic snatch bloke gets 10 YEARS

Jediben

Re: 10 years.

Ahh Mr Reynolds, so nice of you to join us.

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Jediben
Pint

At this time of year...

...We remember a Man who thought nothing of his own freedom and instead sacrificed himself for the greater good of all mankind.

A man who looked inside, broke down barriers others thought insurmountable and revealed to all the true glory that we had all yearned for but never dared dream to experience.

Raise a glass to him.

Thank you Jesu...

WAIT WHAT?! SCARLETT'S JUBS?!? 10 YEARS?! <faints>

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Valve chief confirms Steam-centric console-killing PC

Jediben
Devil

Re: The crucial flaw in the cunning plan...

AAhhh the resident EA representative awakens.

HOW'S THINGS, EA? WILL ORIGIN BE IN MY LOUNGE ANYTIME SOON?

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Apple, Samsung patent judge: 'I feel like I'm in Groundhog Day here'

Jediben
Devil

Re: Anyone else

I agree, it almost seems that she doesn't want to make any decisions. Could it be because the onlyrational one is going to cost a US company a whole lot of wonga?

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Littlest pirate’s Winnie-the-Pooh laptop on the way home

Jediben

Re: €300

If Chisu was feeling like scoring a massive PR hit, she could re-imburse daddy for the trouble?

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Adobe demands 7,000 years a day from humankind

Jediben
Devil

Re: I remember

Blizzard do to same thing for the T&Cs for their various online-only games. And this was PRE-Activision!

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Ten technology FAILS

Jediben
FAIL

Re: Zip Drives?

I've just remembered that, while at university in 2001, I once took my housemate's Zip drive and 5 disks as payment instead of cash for a month's rent (I think).

I never found a use for it.

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Jediben
Trollface

Re: Blu Ray

Jason, I hate to admonish you for your choice of 'entertainment' (ahem), but - those aren't pores, they're herpes scars!

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Jediben
Trollface

Re: "Failures", surely, not "Fails"

Speak as one for yourself only then, you Limey :p

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El Reg Movember lads sprout mighty Unix beards for cancer charity

Jediben
Devil

Re: Great work raising the money...

I agree. Doctor's are clearly already at breaking point due to all the female patients having tests for anything and everything (thoroughly researched and evidence-based appointments only of course), and the threat of men actually making use of their services as well is a real problem.

I know that cancer research has a particular month of focus for each of the major cancers, but I'd never really noticed the men-only prostate and testicular cancers as receiving their fair share of public interest. A cursory glance at the telly clarifies why - Children in Need steals the thunder by taking place in November every year.

Why? the public prefer to give their money to kids rather than arseholes

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Amazon makes BEELLIONS from British customers, pays pennies in tax

Jediben
WTF?

Still seems shifty

Unless I can't count, for a business to only make 2.2 pence on every pound of turnover is pretty rubbish, right?

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Ten weird Chinese mobile phones

Jediben
Happy

Re: Is it wrong...

Just need a talking Trans-Am to go with it!

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One in 10 Brit smartphone owners 'can't afford' to pay for apps

Jediben
Pirate

YAARRR!!!

See title.

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Girlfriend 'tried to MURDER ME with her AMPLE BREASTS'

Jediben

Re: Perhaps it was lost in translation

Oh, and pics or it didn't happen...

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Jediben
Joke

Perhaps it was lost in translation

She can't have been the first to misinterpret "La petite mort"?

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Samsung Google Nexus 10 tablet review

Jediben
Devil

Stick the Special Brew and leave predicting the future to someone else. Or wait for Apple's version of the future 6 months after it's happened.

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Jediben

Re: No sale here, either.

Asus Transformers. Problem solved.

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Facebook: Give us your credit card and pals' addresses as GIFTS

Jediben
Coat

Here's your coat Facebook

GTFO.

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Forklift fondleslab 'fellas flee with vast haul of iPad Minis at JFK

Jediben

Re: Extreme measures

Just some Apple employees going the extra mile to support their 'shortage of stock' rumours. Enforced scarcity = enhanced desirability after all!

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Watchdog halts Toyota Grand Theft Auto-esque advert

Jediben

Re: So what is it like?

You barsteward! What has been seen cannot be unseen, and the icon is now tainted forever! :(

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Black Ops 2 blunder has Mass Effect on buyers

Jediben
Unhappy

Still not sold as advertised, so should be able to return it for refund or replacement, right?

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Youngster backed by Yoko Ono and Stephen Fry launches 'Summly'

Jediben

The little sprat was on BBC this morning, stating that he hoped to monetize the system by charging people to link to the stories that were summarilisationified.

I suspect this will see him in big trouble - you can't go charging for other people's content without licencing, right?

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Jediben
Angel

Yep, he's my boss's boss.

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Apple must apologise for its surly apology on its website on Saturday

Jediben

Oh and this adventure will not include a third apology in any form. It'll be a fucking huge fine and maybe some clink time for Cook if it has to go around again. When will you fanbois learn that Apple's Reality Distortion Field doesn't work outside the walled garden?

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Jediben

I disagree, we haven't even HAD the apology that counts - i.e. the web page.

Only once they've actually published it and they've proven that they are going to heed the court's instruction CORRECTLY can we decide if it 'all worked in their favour'.

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Jediben

Re: The part that I don't understand...

No, all the things the Germans judged on had already been decided by the UK court, so everything they spouted was completely wrong and should be ignored.

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Jediben
Trollface

I don't believe this is the publication by Apple

It doesn't have rounded corners...

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British judge: Say you're sorry Apple... this time like you MEAN it

Jediben
Coat

Contempt of Court

The biggest thing to happen to iPad since the iPad (mini).

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Jediben
Thumb Up

They should count their lucky stars

That they get a second bite of the Apple.

Now can they swallow their pride soon enough to get the new apology uploaded to their site in time?

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SMARTPHONES make TEENS have SEX with STRANGERS

Jediben
Coat

17%? Be right back...

Just nipping out to buy 5 more phones...

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EDF: We'll raise bills 11% - but only 2% is due to energy costs!

Jediben
Thumb Up

I love UK Power Networks :)

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Jediben
Stop

Re: Comprehension Fail, Lewis

The introduction of widespread 'DIY energy generation' by all the solar panels on rooftops across the country actually incurs cost to the distribution networks as well - the standard model of energy flowing only one way is disrupted and this change needs to be managed, implemented and calculated on the grid.

This costs the distribution network providers as well, as you've then got to design a system that will handle it, fit relevant hardware for metering, costing etc and this will cause charges to rise.

Although it's greener it cannot occur for free!

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French gov 'plans to hand Google €1bn tax bill' - report

Jediben
WTF?

Re: Fuck them all

<Meanwhile, in AC's twisted little world>

*RING RING*

"Allo, Une Une Deux, vhat iz your emergency monsieur?"

"Hi buddy, this is Chuck E Cheeze, head of Legal at Monstro Corporation in the US OF A. One of our depots in Je Ne Sais Q'oui-ville has been burgled by a load of your fellow garlic munchers and Uncle Sam insists you get off your little Frog behind and investigate ."

"Votre taxe ne paie pas pour les services de police, investgate vous-même! Bonne journée! "

<click>

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Jediben
Devil

Re: Bloody good show

I'm sure they will cope; they seem to put looking after number 1 ahead of looking after number 10 at least.

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Forgetting Microsoft: How Steve Ballmer's Surface could win

Jediben
Thumb Up

Re: Distracted

On a related note, Hitman: Absolution in 21 days!

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Ballmer claims Win 8 sales strong, WinPhone to follow

Jediben
WTF?

Re: Little known fact

Got mine last night, using the amusingly titled (and fictional) "Uncle Bubba's SupaDupa PC Emporium" as the vendor, where of course I had purchased the MONSTRO 9000 model.

£15 later and it's installed on my spare SSD, and terrifying me by downloading pictures I had forgotten I had uploaded to a Skydrive equivalent in 2007...

Buy your copy today!

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Disney buys Lucasfilm, new Star Wars trilogy planned

Jediben
Go

Re: Jar Jar Binks vs Eeyore

Oh my god, Eeyore as C3PO and Piglet as R2-D2. I am seeing light at the end of this tunnel.

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Ballmer bets 'all in' on Phone 8 and Windows

Jediben

Re: What's with the hobbit

I thought it was Tom Cruise? :)

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Steve Jobs' Apple-powered yacht makes belated first trip

Jediben
Mushroom

I'm pretty sure

That I blew up more than one of those things in X-Wing...

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Oak Ridge lab: Behold, I Am TITAN, hear my 20 petaflop ROAR

Jediben
Trollface

***Obligatory***

But can it play Crysis?

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Pre-ordered a Microsoft Surface? So SORRY it's late, have a voucher

Jediben
FAIL

Re: Article in brief.

Downvoting an AC? Better get etc etc...

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Jediben
Devil

Re: Orders are shipped using UPS

Not to be confused with Damaged Parcel Delivered or Drop it, Hide it, Lose it.

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Samsung posts record profits as Galaxy sales crush Apple

Jediben
Trollface

Re: Nice

Well Apple are certainly hating UK law at the moment!

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Sky staffer plundered database to benefit naughty false firms

Jediben
Trollface

Re: Judge was a little on the cold side

Not as cold as Mr Waters is now!

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Apple's iPad Mini mishap: scratching out the retina screen

Jediben
Devil

Re: @A/C 21:21

I think we can all agree that a slot to stick your expansion inside is the most important aspect. And in tablets too...

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Prosecutor seeks sports-bodies guidance on troll-hunting rulebook

Jediben
FAIL

Re: @AC Here's a test

Oops, now the faceless horde will know my name!

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Jediben

Re: @AC Here's a test

We would be enraged with offence if we held any provable beliefs or were of any measurable minority/majority/individual interest group, but we are Anonymous and you shouldn't accept anything said as truth, as you are completely unable to verify anything we say, so for all intents and purposes we shall remain utterly ambivalent to you.

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